Seuda Shlishis - What’s The Point? (Ep. 218)

hi this is D olsky and welcome to the rabbi olski show whether you're watching with our friends over at 20y time orever you watch or listen to your podcast as always we're happy to have you along and uh for those of you who uh happen to watch on YouTube platform we have reached 2,000 subscribers which means that if I was to run ads I could get one 1,000th of a penny for every view so I'm on my way as the old as the old joke goes if I had Roth child's money I'd have more money than Roth child because I could still give Bar Mitzvah lessons anyway so on this I ain't got to retire but uh I also want to give a quick uh mention that I'm on uh Coming to America yeah and uh I will be there um at the end of February and the last shabas in February I will be in Los Angeles doing a shabas uh for Rabbi Summers and an Shalom the next shabas I will be at the project Inspire convention I will be speaking in Baltimore I will uh be posting my schedule as more events fill in but anybody who would like to uh hire me or just would like to uh you know sponsor some kind of an event uh you know uh I don't have any shabam left but if you want to do a uh a weekday spe or a lunch alarn or a breakfast uh breakfast event or uh it could even be something without food I suppose I I I don't know how that would work but I guess um you know uh so uh we are available so you know please be in contact Through The Usual Suspects the my website row.com and say yes I would like rowski to come and speak or I just want to uh see him long long enough to hand him an envelope of an obscene amount of money because I've just been carrying it in my pocket all this time and I wasn't sure how to get it there because of the authorities so Rico you know who I'm talking to and we have a special sponsor this week it's sponsored anonymously I would like to sponsor this upcoming episode for the third of schat in honor of rabo alosi's birthday we pay attention my wife and I are Avid listeners and so appreciate the Torah Hasa warmth humor and pop culture references I am guilty as charged in your weekly shows may you continue to spread your unique brand of Torah teaching I have absolutely it is a unique brand there's nothing like it yeah also for giving a on your birthday will have extra power oh so so uh you know right back at you vem everyone should have uh have uh also whatever gives me to be able to give besides the fact that I'm a cohain so I do this professionally so absolutely everybody should uh have be and take all of the kadus and all the wonderful things that we can possibly give over and you should have it in your lives okay thank you so much for keeping things going and uh um we are winding down our chabas experience we did uh talked about Mala we talked about the concept of chabas we talked about you know ass we talked about odic shabis we did some recipes we did um ziros I got a lot of reaction on the ziros some people sent me actual ziros we really need to have a followup on on this because a lot of people uh you know if you remember when I did the the two-parter with Ari goldwag he said at one point I'm not a music historian so I don't know where all these things came from but of course a lot of my listening audience wrote and said what the source were a various zirus that we sang Etc so we have to have a follow up on the zirus one we'll do that as a as a another musical episode at some point but uh uh so we talked about that so we're coming to the end of chabas and by the end of chabas is shalis yeah it's so interesting when I ran in see swne they used to make these salads uh we used to buy these tubs of Shala salads it was from a company called Sally Sherman and they used to make tuna salad and egg salad and klao and macaroni salad and and potato salad and of course these were sh Shas things so we used to call it because it was Sally Sherman Sal was call it saludas but um shus you know you have these people who are cool people you know they like to say sud the third male but that's never been the minic the is sh or shalis or shalid yeah so what's the reason for that the answer for that is because uh especially this time of year now if you do it real Israeli style where they diving at like 7:30 in the morning and by you know 10 o'clock they're eating their chalant you know so then by 3 o00 maybe you're already ready for something else to eat yeah I did a a shabas shalim years ago and and it was a it was a short chabus and they were able to have a milk shalis so you understand that they finished they finished lunch in time and they were milking by ra 3 4:00 in the afternoon so that was quite an accomplishment schnitzel and chant early in the morning yeah which is uh not always easy it's a little hard to digest um in fact is speaking just for a moment about CH because I know it's a favorite topic um when I have a very large pot like one of those big Shiva pots I bought many years ago when I was making a Kish and I've used it ever since those is R aluminum pots you know and um uh and I make a make chant for for a kidish it's a large chalant and um and uh everybody comments that it's it's just just a great chent I mean when you make a large chent for it to come out well it's quite an accomplishment so um so I uh because of this I have certain you know friends who when they make a kidish they feel I have to make the challeng this is what I do now I've taken bits and pieces that I've picked up along the way from various people anyway so uh our producer uh yel uh had a baby girl as I mentioned and he had a kidish this p shabas and I was uh I was uh brought in by his father-in-law my good friend yti Shapiro to make the chent I don't know if he wants this spread around the entire world but hey don't talk to me if you expect it to remain private it reminds me codell dunde where he comes from the Australian Outback to New York and you know the woman who's like taking care of him there he's like I have to go see my therapist go what's a therapist he goes well you know you talk to them about all your problems go Oh you mean like Mike says what's Mike well Mike runs the General Store and if you're embarrassed about anything you talk to Mike about it and then Mike tells everybody else and then you're not embarrassed anymore so that's basically me you know somebody said to me years ago goes I feel like every now and then when you're speaking you pause to consider whether what you're about to say is appropriate or not and regardless you're going to say it anyway so there is something to be said for that anyway so I came down to to with my big pot and uh now okay uh a lot of it was done for me already they had all the onions all cut up and they had the potatoes all peeled and cut up you know and and they already soaked the beans and then everything was all lined up uh Brian rean who is one of the funniest comedians in modern times maybe ever times um he says you know you ever watch a cooking show he says I would cook like that if I had everything in pre-measured bowls on the count they goes well basically you you pour this in and you pour that in you pour that oh look at that that was so incredibly easy he says I'm gonna do a realistic cooking show I'll be halfway through uh notice when we we suddenly discover we're out of eggs so come with me to the store now as I run out to buy eggs he says and after they finish the whole thing they open the bottom oven and there's one there already says look at this what was I cooking for there's one already in the oven I didn't know that I could save myself a lot of time anyway so everything was all set up so I do the onions first and I don't put in a lot of oil cuz I don't like an oily CHT and um uh and I sort them I had a little salt and pepper yeah and uh when they're you know Brown enough so then I add the beans and the barley and I mix them all in together so that they get a nice you know nice mixture and then I add my spices is which is salt and um kosher salt and uh pepper and garlic powder and paprika and um almost an entire container of the oam onion soup mix that was on my spices mix it up together and um uh in fact I obviously spice liberally you know so I take the little cover off and I'm sprinkling it on and he said why don't you shake it I said no it's too much you know shake for a CH that's the size you pour it on you okay then we mixed it all together there and then um yits is beyond me I'm I'm a simple guy I put the marrow bones in on the bottom then it serves Service as a foundation but he roasted them first and we kept digging little wells in to stick the mar bones all over the bottom and then I poured in the potatoes and then I added water and then we took he also roasted the uh flankin put it on top it was all set added more water it was just enough room left at the top of the kishkas which of course uh you know um my wife may has this tremendous kishka she actually told me recently she got it originally from the Hal cookbook and um in 1982 or something but uh so but now my my daughter and son make the kishka so they were going to send over the kishkas you know and I brought it up and I said that's it bring it to a boil and lower it anyway I see him Friday night and he says I forgot to lower it it was burnt so uh I said I can't believe it I I spent an hour on that what do you mean I got bur goes I okay we were busy forgot to lower it you know I was able to get save the meat because the meat was on top and we took out all the potatoes and we rinsed them off you know and uh I don't know what the problem is because my son schlomo bought a smoker and he keeps smoking all the meat and I guess people like it when it smells like it's burnt so I guess you know he has a whole machine could have just left it on on hive what Sho is you could have gotten that same Smoky flavor anyway so when I came to the kiddish he says do you want some chot so I said first of all um I'm not ready to become fles cuz I have to have a cup of coffee and I can only drink my coffee with milk uh second of all I can't digest chant third of all this is not CH he says of course it's ch he says no I made CH I don't know what this is this Frankenstein that you created is not chilling we said look it's watery he goes I didn't have enough barley because you used up the barley I I said I said cuz I made the challeng what mean I used up the barley anyway I don't know why I thought that was important to share oh yeah because uh you have have to be able to eat it uh early enough if you want to be milk for Shas saludas unless of course you're going to just have a PARTA shalas yeah now uh a lot of people just don't want to eat shalas at this point right now assuming uh let's say when I went to America you know I lived in America for many years so you eat lunch at 12 1:00 in the afternoon time you're done you know go to it's time for shis is uh there's not a lot of time who wants to sit down and eat the only time that is as less exciting a meal than that is when er of PESA comes out on chabas and you have to get up at like 6 o'clock to go and D in chakras and then run and eat your P you know quickly and then um brush yourself off and ruins out your mouth and then walk around the block and then come back and wash again and have another piz you have to by the way um plan your P use well uh there was one year that I bought these like yemenite petas there was no way that my kids could finish the amount of pizzas that I bought and I'm sitting there you know ripping them up and flushing it down the toilet it was uh it was a uh um cautionary tail for everybody else be careful how much you order um and in fact now people are cool here in Israel you know because um you can get Kos pus which of course ashkanam don't eat but it's not it's it's kitne and so they eat their their uh p with their humus to get it down you know then they take the Kus and they double wrap it and stick it the back of the refrigerator and yeah but um uh it's not it's it's it's kitas chickpeas a lot of things that are kit are questionable I again I'm not an authority on this but uh someone told me the reason that we don't eat Kasha which is clearly a vegetable is because it's called buckwheat since it's called wheat that's the problem uh R blooming crant who has not been in this world for many years is still putting out his PES gu anyway but I remember when they first discovered quinoa or quinoa if you have a reading vocabulary so um he wrote a whole impassionate article how it's perfect for pesak and it's really just a vegetable and it's a super food and Hing all kinds of nutrients and you know it's all wonderful Etc you know how everybody should embrace this for PES and of course here the badat said no because yeah so no you can't make it into flower yeah it's um it's not stored with the grain yeah it's it's too close to [Laughter] Kasha anyway so um um so you have to get through there but on a normal shabas especially if you finish lunch late um especially now as you're singing all the ziros after our intense zirus experience and uh you know you're singing all the various ziros now that you know the words and tunes to all of them um somebody wrote I wish you would have sung all the ziros yeah all the parts I could have I guess but uh you know like I say we may do more zir we'll see um my audience of which I have a surprising amount of who listen to the show um there were these bam learning in bam in above of Yeshiva above B Park their first language is Yiddish but they watch the podcast they came for shabas and uh you know and and somebody else another I met he says you know you have a big following in B Park so I'm waiting for them to bring me for shabas you know um when uh I the one time I was invited to k tuni k tuni is a organization and you see the air and there's like 12 and me so uh so I of course gave my shum in English everybody else gave it in Yiddish you know and every now and then I'd be on a panel and everybody else was talking in yish and I was talking in English and every now and then they would turn to me and go and everybody would laugh and I was like okay don't know what they just said but think they're making fun of [Laughter] me so uh so apparently you know so one guy comes over to me at the beginning he says listeni don't say any of your usual things I said why is that he says because I stole them all and said that they're mine and people think you're stealing it from me I said don't worry I have enough material you don't have to worry I won't step on your toes there but um uh so we didn't do a like complaints I didn't do enough so okay so we'll have to have aish you know um I'm trying to find you know I'm sure they're out there the first time I was at the project inspired convention the traveling were there and go around and make a shabas and different communities and they said we're your I said oh my gosh I've had people who said they were my but I never had say they you know says you're the only one still teaching I said I'm not teaching it's he says call what you want it's what we Callis yeah so uh so okay so I guess heart who knows my father my grandfather came from venro and whenever I would tell that to they would all laugh they' say the whole town was G you must be a GID could be I don't know I I told the story before I was speaking uh my brother was introducing me to somebody and he says this is my brother damsky he goes the speaker so I said yeah the funny one so he says yeah says the GID I said what there is a funny um G who goes around speaking in Yiddish his name is davidowski so so uh so I realized that dski is like AI it's a position it's not the name you know every every culture has a Davi there's a French one a Spanish one you know you know David davidski we we anyway so um uh but yeah well we'll have to get you know if the traveling K managed to travel toel you know we'll have them on the podcast maybe we'll do something in America we'll see we'll see so much to do so oh it's it is amazing that you know here we've been doing this for so many years and you know my wife said me other day goes I can't believe there are so many topics that you've never spoken about before on full disclosure I actually prepared for this one because uh I know what I want to talk about and I wanted to find out the you behind it and since i' had never really spoken about shalis before so it gave me a little insight anyway so uh so if it's part of so what do you do you serve tuna fish you serve egg salad you know serve uh so listen between me and you you could serve flri it's okay you know once you once you're going for it that's what people do when Tish comes out on chabas so they have a feska shalis because they're going to go into the tinest they want to have something a little better you know I know it's not an egg with ashes but hey you know you work with what you got got so um um but okay so this is this is called child Sha's food shal Shas s Shas you know Tuda fish egg salad um pasta salad um uh you know those kind of things corn salad cucumber salad Waldo salad the different kind of salads yeah um I think the term salad is misused frankly um when I was growing up salad was lettuce tomato and cucumber that was it if you wanted to add some scallions okay some radishes maybe there was no fruit there was no fruit there was no nuts there was no seeds it was tomato cucumber you know some carrot I guess you could add some carrot if you wanted you know that was it that was how I grew up with a salad now my kids make salad this there's it's unrecognizable crackers in it and fruit in it and all kinds of things you know so um I uh I Was A Simple Man Simple Man with simple taste yeah but I heard somebody say once go eggs and mayonnaise how is that a salad I think it's a good point Anyway by the way if you want to take your egg salad to the next level add a little relish either India relish if you have if not hot dog relish mix it in it's nice touch um if you want to do something with your tuna salad when I'm when I'm in a creative mood for my tuna salad I'll chop up some uh some uh celery and some onion fine mix it in beforehand yeah and uh and that's also adds a another level some people add pickles you know God be good to you anyway but then is you could do all kinds of things there's I one time made a pasta tuna salad for shalas you know you make the pasta and then you mix in the tuna and all kinds of different things Etc and I spent days eating that because nobody else [Laughter] would so uh but uh you know the simple pasta salad is of course you make those you know colored three colored twirly ones and then you pour some uh uh Italian dressing on top of it you know then you cut up some vegetables that go inside of it you know I ate that for days also because nobody else would eat anyway so but I digress so uh so you have your um you have your uh shalis and um here in there it's TR when you go to like an official like shop or someplace they put out a big gigantic white roll that's like kind of stale by by shal Shas already but I did one time is I bought rolls for shalas and I immediately put them in the freezer and then I took them out like an hour before before shus to Def Frost so they were still fresh I do this sometimes with pizzas too so uh so those are definitely some shalas options if it's later shalas oh then you want to go for the bagels bagels cream chees and locks I'm saying that knowing that spim and do not have fish with milk which means that they have never had a bagel and uh and cream cheese and locks which frankly to my mind calls in to question whether or not people who do that are really Jewish I'm just saying I'm not I'm just throwing it out there you know I have the same problem when people don't eat Canad if you don't have mats and matab then make it out of potato starch come on come on matah balls they called matah balls the made out of matah that's what they're supposed to be but anyway I get into trouble when I say things like this but as I mentioned earlier in the podcast I have no filters anyway one second I'll think first okay anyway so um so okay so by the way I've mentioned this beforehand you have to think what makes uh sh is interesting yeah you have to think what would people want to eat you think about that try to put out food now a lot of people just they're stuffed let's be clear okaya is not eating if you are so stuffed that you can't eat anything else and you eat shalas you're not say anyway because it's not called is G it's not called a that was the story with the brisar after Kipper he had a piece of cake he wasn't sure if it was enough for an had another piece of cake he still wasn't sure he had another piece of cake and then he was was afraid that maybe it wasasa and he couldn't make a there's a line there's a there's a line Beyond which you can no longer eat yeah so um so therefore if you know you're going to eat shalas take that into account so I read you from the Mish Sim Al very careful to keep says the three times it says and therefore it is very important there's another reason that he brings as we'll see even if you full have a piece of bread the size of an egg you're so full that if you eat you're going to be sick okay so then you don't have to force yourself uh says the Mish because the suda is given as an Ong and not as a sar and then he says a very important rule here that he says he's quoting the tour leave room leave room to eat sh that's a you have to plan it out and by the way in the gar how much is considered the normal amount for a Suda and uh RAB Maya brings a small amount and he says because he's talking about shabas because on chabas you da eat small sudas to make sure you can get in shalas so uh so in the summertime it's not so hard but uh but in the winter time you have to think how I'm going to do it so that I can eat all Shas I uh um my uh in-laws the Orbach had this brilliant idea I did not go to the U because I was in the hospital I had just had a bypass operation and uh 10 years ago and um and uh what they did because it was you know January time is that they had the suda they ate the first course they knocked over a couple of speeches and they benched and then they went D and then they came back and they had the rest of the suda sh shis the chant and the you know then all the main caes Etc and I thought what a brilliant idea we did that for the my next two daughters uh uh shabas uh it's it's brilliant to do you know because that's way you can you know get in your shalas the problem is that shalas ideally should be after kind of yeah so um so it should be a little later in the day so uh um so okay so you can be yot that with um with zus pis yeah other things you could do alternatively you could wash again now since you basically only had lunch and this could still be shalas but at least the official shalash Shas is done you know you save having to get everyone back together and uh Listen to More speeches that alone you know so uh some people say it's just not a Sim with speeches now I come from long line of orlovski where we love to speak you know an olavsky affair there are a lot of speeches people love to talk and uh they have a particular gift um when it comes to this uh one should always bear in mind that I'm I was one of six boys and I was the quietest in the family and uh my brother Jason always sh him it used to kill him that I got paid to speak he says I'm so much funnier than you I'm so much better than you why do you get paid to speak I said Jay I'm clean he says oh all right that then I [Laughter] understand but um the M references the in chabas now that answers my original question why do we call it shalas instead of sud because especially this time of year nobody's going to eat a meal now the fact that you're eating a meal is clearly only to M sh so the fact that you eat at night okay that's supper the fact that you during the day okay that's lunch the fact that you sh should is is only because he want to M the Mitzvah of having three sudas on chabas right fine if you eat the three sudas you will be saved from three disasters right so you'll be saved from the sufferings of the Miss so it's reference so if you eat the Friday night meal that will protect you from if you eat the Day meal that will protect you from gam and if he eat shall that will protect you from goog when I sometimes will be having shis and uh I have family members who are not enthusiastic I said okay well then I guess I'll miss you after googa because I guess you won't be there because you didn't want to eat shal Shas to protect you from goo sometimes it works and the tradition of a true Jewish guiltrip [Laughter] sometimes it doesn't but listen you you make your best chance you know put your best foot forward anyway so uh uh so the question is why and it's very interesting that the maharal discusses this in two places one of them is Bea now Bea is a work that the Mahar wrote basically to answer up difficult kazal kazal that people don't really understand and uh you know people um aren't uh aren't treating seriously and they think the K was just talking and he of course goes into Theus and depth of it and he brings this over there he also brings it in where he talks about this concept of the three sudas being able to um take care of these things so let's start at the beginning if you remember when we talked about the sudas we talked about theas of chabas we said that they have three themes and that's why chabas is the only time when there are three separate amas normally uh you you do the same amida whether it's a weekday or Y or for that matter orer you do the same one for but not on chabas you have three different ones and we said because there are three ideas of chabas there's chabas of the past chabas of the present and chabas of the future shabas of the past is Hashem created the world and rested on chabas and so on shabas by us resting by us not doing M we are recognizing that hasem created the world that's Friday night that's why we have the shabas of the day is that Hashem told us to keep shabas at SII and that's the toyah's Commandment for us to keep chabas that's why we're keeping chabas now is the shabas of the present is what was given at Hari and that's why what we say in isar which was said in the and a time when the entire world will be taken over with chabas so those are the different FAS they're also recognized in the sudas that we eat so the sud Friday night we make KES KES ISU we say that's part of we remember that created the world um it's a it's a testimony to that and the Friday night suda is the shabas of Rec izing created the world the shabas during the day is about mat and if you'll take a look at the zir that we're Sayang during the day a lot of them put their emphasis on mat very interesting um there's a there's there's a lot of har references because that's the Day meal and shis sh is L shabas builds to a crescendo it goes up in kadus so that by the time we get to shalas we're already dealing with Masia and therefore the the intimacy between us and is captured by the zos that we sing at right you did nees the love between us and that closeness that pound so there's no question that we're we're capturing a different level in our expression and how we approach it yeah shalash is uh you know the first two meals as I already mentioned you're definitely eating them because you're hungry shalas you're eating them because Hashem said so so shalas is much more on an intimate level so if you eat the fr night suda that'll protect you from mashia because the mashia is necessary for us to go into a world that is imperfection but if you recognize that created the world then the job of Messiah is just to bring the world back to what it was in ghen and so that's a uh that's a unique kind of an expression and that's the sud so if you eat Friday night you'll be protected from the suffering mhia if you eat the Day meal you'll protected from geham why do we go to geham we go to geham because we're um we we didn't keep our obligations in this world and we need a kapar if you will if you keep the Toyah then you shouldn't have to um have a problem with Gam the a of are not on theim because they are a in this world there's no fire of geham yeah I I've I've talked about this before yeah what what is ganam ganam is coming to grips with decisions that you made during your lifetime here it's a type of therapy some people who have been through therapy will tell you it's mam yeah but uh but what does that mean so you've heard the mush many times they show you a movie your entire life and you're watching it and your parents and your grandparents and great-grandparents and everybody's watching this movie of your life and all the sadik who ever lived they're sitting there watching it and uh the is watching and he says what's what's he doing on that screen there with the cards the pictures the cards it's called soliter don't worry eventually he moves up to mind sweeper just keep watching you know soon he gets into action videos just just keep I've seen this before and you're sitting there going oh my gosh oh my gosh and when you think it can't get any worse and they finally finish the movie turns out it's a double feature now they show another film it's what your life could have been and you see what you could have been doing all those times that you were wasting time in your life and doing bad things what you could have been doing instead all the times that you were big instead of small all the times that you that you you reached levels of greatness that you never reached cuz you were busy reaching levels of not greatness yeah so um uh so this is the um uh this is the geham the geham is the contrast between who you were and who you could have been sikim they show him their movie and they're thinking oh I could have done that better I could have done this better I could have done that better when they're all done they're like oh let's see the second one and they say that was the second one you lived the best possible life so you keep the T the way you're supposed to there is no ganam because you lived your life the way you were supposed to and that's why the second meal which corresponds to mat Tyra takes you there and Sh is go M why because shalis at the end of chabas shalis is this special relationship with Hashem says theas why is the capital to Hill that talks about of shom's rebellion next to the capital that talks about goog says the gar because in case you think the nations of the world would never turn on their father in Heaven yeah in case that's what you think I'll show you a case of a father of a son who turned on his father of shom went chased after his father go and kill him wipe him out take over the malas so it's possible which means the antidote the antidote for that is that closeness with K where I recognize you did Nees yeah you you're the beloved father merciful father yeah have mercy on your son on your beloved we're sick with love fores and the more we focus on that love which is what shis is about as I already mentioned we're not eating it because we're hungry we're eating it because we want to be close toes so Shas will protect us from that that war at the end of time and that's why the Mahar says sh is at the end of chabas and this is the end of time where we're getting ready for a world in Perfection and we stand up and say we love we have that love for him that concern for him and that's all we want heal us because we're sick with love for you it's uh um have mercy on your beloved Son this is what what did neish is all about it's all about that love for and so when we eat shalas which is of course called shal because that's Malala that all the meals we ate on chabas was only for the Mitzvah of shabas this is with M shalas when we eat shalas and when we eat this and we and we sing to how much we only want to be close to him and have a in our lives then uh that has the ability to allow us to have this closeness with Hashem that love with Hashem and that sh so that's what we do we have shus and uh when we finish of course we D in we make Hava in if for any reason you have to do something before that you say the you make and uh and some people sing um my friend no Mel I was by him for shabas and um and by havdala he pulls out his guitar and starts playing his guitar afterwards you know left over from our old days of NCS was a major big deal you you'd get up on a chair and everybody would sing and people are singing they're very into it and then somebody speaks and then you make havah and then you know band strikes up they have R and and shabas ends with this you feel this transition you know that you've gone you know M now we don't let go completely that's the concept of which we'll talk about next time but this is how we go from shalis into havala and we make that separation and we hold on to shabas and there are certain people who mamish like I say they drag out the havdala because they don't want to let shabas go away know you'll be back next week we know you will be back because we love you so so let let us thank Hashem who will bring shabis back again I hope this has uh been helpful for people for their sh shabas and their on shabas and we will ourselves in shabas and this should be a and a mug for us and for all of clel and for all of the people who are ne still fighting this War uh all the time that we look and you see soldiers are lost and people are killed and what a terrible terrible situation we're in so shabas should be a shme for us and for clel and this brings us to the uh question answer portion of our program we haven't had it for a while because we've been busy buy singing but this is sponsored anonymously as a for Yeshua that was uh by Anonymous that uh that's of course uh going back to when I just had uh some stance put in I had three stance put in it was uh supposed to be an hour and a half procedure went on for 4 hours and uh you know the guy came and told my wife wow it went on for 4 hours it was so difficult and my he was looking for sympathy I was there first he went in through my hand you know it was with the wir is going in through your thing Etc and first they have to numb it it was terrible and after like an hour of this he says no we'll have to go through the leg and I said nope that's it I'm done so he whispers to the nurse knock him out so they knocked me out for a little bit till they were able to go into my vein and my my leg it really took me a long time to snap back from it so uh you know and uh a month later we had a follow-up meeting and he says I'm sure I'll see you [Laughter] again okay so that's uh thank you so much for the sponsorship uh and now let's get to our questions hi rowski how does one find the correct balance between making progress in one's learning versus Kazar reviewing one's learning so uh if you take a look at a page of gamarra you'll see that on on every da there were four long lines followed by Thin lines and very often there were long lines at the bottom again but there's always those four lines why because the Bry says that the way that moso taught uh is first he taught it to Aon and then he brought another n then he brought the C anyway he did it in such a way that everyone heard it four times and uh and then he would leave and then Aon would say it over then he would leave and it went like this four times and this is very interesting four times is not called learning it's not called Kar that's called learning you have to learn something four times just to have learned it and that's what MOS was trying to show you you have to say it four times so that's not even called Kar yeah so you have to go over it four times that's that's basic that's just the basic Li says the about I heard a story I can't understand I can't wrap my head head around it but this is the story I heard that someone said toan I don't understand what's the you know uh how is the gr you know so exceptional I was in with him and I was as good as he was I'd love to have found out who this guy was I said I was as good as the gr he was good as the gr you know the age of nine he finishes on one night you know I was good as the girl you know so uh he says you know the that says you can't compare to learning something 100 times to 101 times he says sure he says did you believe the gamar says yeah says the I didn't I had to find out for myself and so a lot of kar now what does that mean so here is uh a method that I was given when I first started in yiva and that is at the end of the day assuming you're learing in Yeshiva assum you're Lear Yesa at the end of the day whatever you did that day even if it's just one time the next day that and whatever you did the next day and keep starting from the beginning anding over what you did and adding in what you've just done then you have to do it over so that's the advice they gave me now I of course who is the posted child for learning disabilities and my pictures on there um I have dyslexia I have ADD I have focusing problems and I have retention problems I have all these different things um I could look at a Damar and it's out of focus so I have to concentrate to be able to get into focus and then I read it through and it's a little difficult after because I'm reversing letters and switching things around and after I get down to the bottom of the yit I forgot what I learned so I have to do the whole thing over again so for me I have toaz it a bunch of times just to remember what I just read because in the middle of that by the way my mind SPAC is out and I go someplace else you know until I can get myself back in so um so the answer is there two different things I heard this once I I think I remember who it was but I'm not sure so I don't want to say they say it's not hard to learn T right first you learn the mishna right I didn't mean t to learn Torah Al by heart um he says first you learn the mishna and you look at the Rashi make sure you get it down and then read it over like oh 50 60 times then start the gamar and go go through the first chakaria you know go over it learn over the rash make sure you have it and then read it over 50 60 times then do the next one so there are those people who are very careful to do a lot of kar and obviously you remember it somebody once said to the rugged that the he has a photographic memory and he laughed he says no he doesn't he just all the time yeah this is what I heard when I was in Yeshiva and again I never checked it out but I heard it more than once I assumed it was true when you learn gamarra and there's a little uh gillion shots over there by reer so what I heard is those were the notes that he would jot down when he would Kar 60 do an hour so as he was running through 60 off an hour he would have little ideas and he would jot them down on the side as little footnotes so um uh there is a big problem in Yeshua big problem everyone knows it that people spend a lot of time in um what one of I re used to refer to as La La lumus Land you know people love to go to lumus land it's like this it's like that that at the end of the they have lost the Fest for the trees and that's why if you don't it you don't understand it and that's why you can talk to the average Yesa guy about a gamarra that he did three years ago and he pulls out the gamarra and he says oh yeah we had a whole thing with this I have panu written next to the T there must have been a panu on this I don't remember they don't Kaz you don't Kaz you have to kazer it to go over it and over it and that's how you remember and a very so how much so you have to know for yourself what do I need this is the important word to make a kenion on it to say that I know it when I was in high school my Reby re wh um he asked me a he asked me a question he says you know you know the gumar and I said yeah says say it over I said I can't say it over says if you can't say it over you don't know it she means you have to know it well now the gar says that means that if you wake somebody up in the middle of the night and ask him if you can marry your sister he has to say you know no was that much he knows that's for shantam he said shantam you have to say it over again if I woke you up in the middle night and said could you marry your sister what would you say I'd say I don't have a sister I have five brothers ah if you had a sister I don't know my whole life would have been different I don't know how would we work at the rooms you know so D you you don't understand I didn't know what he was talking about so uh so that's why it's got to be to the point where you feel like you have a Kenyon on the material so certain people have a tremendous memory it's easier for them but uh but when you it over you always see new insight now I've been teaching shil for over 30 years and I can tell you every time I look at the missil of Sharm again I get a little deeper insight into it you know so um so kazara itself is always something new that's waiting for you and the more that you make a Kenyon for it I'll tell you one story uh this guy was uh collecting money in England and he was staying in uh certain people have uh have uh rooms for people who are collecting and the next room was koseski he was uh he had off that day and uh he was getting ready when he went back to give shear and he was doing one of of the Bubbas one of the Bubbas M he's done it since he was eight years old you know and he's listening you know you can hear through the wall is learning you know with a brand and he reads the gamar and he reads the Rashi and he reads the tus slowly and again he reads the gamarra reads the Rashi reads the tus and again he reads the gar reads the Rashi t for three hours so okay he's he also knows Shas but if you want to prepare to give a Shear like that you want to make sure that you really have a when I was learning by we had this we were supposed to be preparing I couldn't make heads or tails out of it I I just couldn't make heads or tails out of it so I said to I I can't understand what he's talking about he says read it again I said I I did it five times go five times tell me you did it 60 times 70 times 80 times then tell me you don't understand it five times yes sir I [Laughter] said anyway so uh so that's the idea how much time it takes you depends on your memory depends on your attention depends of your preparing a year but don't let what you have slip away and that's what happens very often is people you know learn and rabbit Moses when he was building all of the highways in uh in New York city so he was so bent on building it and pouring all the money into making New Roads he didn't leave money in the budget to maintain the roads he already had built and they were falling into disrepair so don't let the roads that you've already built develop potholes and the next question by MN what are Thea obligations of a mother of a young baby what if she finds that between taking care of the baby and the rest of the house she simply has no time then don't Davin it's it's an amazing thing women will tell you this they stayed home on and took care of their children and when they got old enough that their kids were big enough that they could go to sh there'd always be some mother who brought their baby along to sh and their baby would cry and disturb and and you know she was like why don't you stay home with your kid the way that I did and I'll tell you better than that there is a book called rig that was written by my friend rabie nissle uh in which he discusses women's and uh and in this he brought upak from shinberg who says you know I got I got a little baby wears me out I'm taking care of him the whole time I finally get him in for a nap and I've got an hour and I could Davin or I could put my feet up make myself a coffee and uh read one of the Jewish periodicals what should I do he says for sure put your feet up and have a coffee because applies to the fact that women need to take care of themselves how many husbands have had that experience when you have a bunch of little kids and you come home and your wife says take the baby I haven't gone to the bath B all day I to go the I can't leave the kids yeah it's it's such a constant thing that you need time to catch your breath and I'll tell you a disturbing story I've told it before and it's no less disturbing and uh and and disturbing stories are the best ones because they uh they urge you onward um a uh uh this Alona had a bunch of little kids and they they had literally no food and someone gave her an egg and she goes into her room and she shuts the door and she thinks what am I going to do cut this up and give her by a little piece of egg it's not going to help anybody so she thinks about it and she eats the egg herself and the children who are hungry are outside knocking the door saying mommy mommy what are you doing in there and she said I'm making you a mommy because I fly a lot and uh and as they always announce when traveling with children always put your mask on before helping children who are accompanying you because if you pass out you're not going to be any good to anybody so if the mother does not take time to take care of herself so she has the strength to take care of the children accidents happen Terrible Things um I have a friend of mine who is a nurse K ER and he called me once he works in a place for kids who have serious uh brain damage neurological damage orphan from accidents and there was this one kid who the mother put her in the bath and then ran to go and get something and in the meantime he was little he managed to pull the water on and put just enough water in the tub for him to to drown it was only a little bit of water but he fell over into the water couldn't get up and he wasn't able to breathe for whatever amount of time it was and serious brain damage now you have to live with that for the rest of your life we all know the stories of people who forgot kids in the car why because they're running over here and they're running over here and they're doing this and you know take the time have the cup of coffee that's more important make sure that you put on your mask for helping those who are coming along with you and that's it for this episode you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website row.com you can sign up for one of my online shim we keep having people joining the and it's a lot of fun I know it's helped my I hope anyone else has gained from it uh we have ail for ladies um Monday um uh Monday evening Jerusalem time one o'l in the afternoon New York time um we have our dafi every morning in New York time 7:15 uh and uh 2:15 is real time and uh you uh you can sponsor an episode sponsor question and 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