The Joy Of Pesach Prep (Ep. 322)

Hi. >> [music] >> This is Rabbi Laskin and welcome to the Rabbi Laskin show. And if you're watching with our friends over at Toranic time, our producers as it happens, or wherever [music] you watch or listen to a podcast, we're wonderful to have you along. And if wherever you're listening you can >> [music] >> subscribe or like or share or comment, all of those [music] things are nifty because then people get to see who we are and [music] I tell you hardly a week goes by that someone says to me, "I didn't know that this thing existed. I went back and watched 6 years of this." Don't do that to people. Make sure they know about it beforehand. Eventually someone's going to have to go back and listen to 25 years of this stuff. Their brain will explode. >> [laughter] >> So let's get the word out there. And we have a sponsor this week, Yehuda Wenzerlberg, one of the regulars commenting and observing and asking in the chair. Sefer Orchos Chaim L'Harosh is a timeless mussar classic. That's true. Enhanced with hundreds of stories and insights. The Sefer Orchos Chaim L'Harosh has been treasured as a guide to living with yiras Shamayim, refined middos, and true Torah values. Written by Rabbeinu Asher ben Yechiel, better known as the Rosh, Rabbeinu Asher. I may be just throwing over here. Um I had a talmid once. This happens often. That when I have a shiur, uh I teach Gemara, uh I tend to be uh I'm looking for the right word, obnoxious. The reason I do this is to irritate people. >> [laughter] >> And the reason I want to irritate people is so that they will be motivated to get me. Then they put in extra time learning cuz they want to catch me. Anyway, I said something in shiur and somebody says, uh "No, that's not right." And he says something else. I said, "Where'd you get that from?" He says, "The hagahah." I said, "The hagahah?" So he shows me. It's the hagahas Ashri in the Rosh. The hagahas. The hagahas Ashri. The hagahah? Uh needless to say I did not let that line go for the rest of the year. He he turned out to be a come a big time chacham. But to me he'll always be the hagahah. This work has been learned in the great yeshivas of the past and present and is used as a road map for avodas Hashem and personal growth. The new edition by oh, surprise, Yehuda Wenzerlberg has opened up this work and geared it to our generation and is filled with uplifting insights, practical guidance, and great stories that bring the Rosh's teaching into sharp focus for our lives today. I always say this, that Torah is eternal, it just needs to be packaged for a different generation. The Sefer Orchos Chaim L'Harosh will elevate the way you think, speak, and live. Available at Schottenstein stores and at Judaica Press website. And just take a moment to talk about our new merch store. People have been asking me for merch, so we have merch. We have We have mugs. We have sweatshirts and uh Rabbi Laskin apron with my mom's favorite expression on it, which I'm not going to say on this show. >> [laughter] >> But I'll put it on the apron. And uh all kinds of other nifty things. Go there and check it out. You can see it at my website rabbilaskin.com/merch. Uh this podcast is going to be coming up before Pesach, hence the matzah tie. Yeah? And uh uh [clears throat] I want to say a few words beforehand and you'll see why I'm saying this when I get to the to the point. I started my career in uh youth work in uh 1978 in uh Los Angeles. I had a chapter there. I have to say to this day I still have a relationship with a number of the people who were in the chapter, which is pretty amazing. I mean, it's a million years ago about >> [snorts] >> a million 500,000. I'm not sure exactly, but it was a long time ago. >> [snorts] >> And uh and I was successful. I went on from there to be the Long Island director of NCSY. I was successful in Long Island, but in California at that time I could have become a god and made my own cult. Uh I didn't. What can I tell you? If I could speak Yiddish, I could become a rebbe. >> [laughter] >> I already have chassidim. I just don't I just don't know how to speak Yiddish and you know, I could put on the lebushen everything and I could go for the cane, but you know, the uh you know, if you can't really be a a rebbe without Yiddish, more or less. But anyway, so more's the pity. But um uh when I went from there to Long Island, so I was there in the 1980s. I was building Long Island NCSY. And uh one of my former NCSYers in Los Angeles uh was getting married. Now, to suddenly travel 3,000 miles to California uh is no small uh feat at that time. I had a bunch of little kids, me and my wife. So uh they understood. They understood I couldn't really come out for it. But that week a friend of mine's wife suddenly passed away. And I didn't hesitate. I got myself a ticket even though obviously when you do a ticket at the last minute it's much more expensive. I don't know about today, but back then you could get a super saver ticket if you reserved 3 weeks in advance and if you got it at the last minute it was much more expensive. I flew out just for the day. By the way, it's more expensive if you don't save overnight. We'll pay shiva call. And on the plane ride back I thought to myself, "How is it I have time for tragedy and I don't have time for simcha?" So I called up my friend and I said, uh "I won't make for the chasseneh, but I'll make it for shabbos shabbos brachos." And >> [clears throat] >> uh me and my wife flew out. And uh and we had uh we we spent shabbos shabbos brachos. In fact, it was funny at the end. Um you know, I'd been running NCSY for so many years, so we got together Friday night. We had an oneg. And then I said uh "Does everyone have a way home? Is Do you have you know, should we set up walking groups?" And they looked at me and they said, "Orlow, that's how I used to be known back then. Orlow, we're all in our 20s. We can get home." >> [laughter] >> Well, you never grow up. That's what my mom used to say to me. You know, long as long as uh your your mom and dad are around you can you you never grow up. You know, just the way it is. I was in my uh 50s. I was already a somewhat accomplished uh rabbinic figure. I was going to speak someplace. My mom says to me, "That's a nice outfit. Don't get it dirty." >> [laughter] >> She doesn't know how I get dressed without her, you know. Never grow up, you know. But after that that became my clever line. We always have time for tragedy and we don't have time for simcha. Well, I had the zchus to have a chavrusa with Reb Moshe Shapiro. I would not be so brazen as to call him my rebbe and I know for a fact he never called me a talmid. >> [laughter] >> I know it for a fact. But that's okay. That's okay, you know. But I had a chavrusa with with I have to tell you, there were hundreds and hundreds of people who had a chavrusa with Reb Moshe. There was not And he was giving shiurim constantly and running around and talking to people. There was never a time when I said, "I have to talk to you or I have to bring one of my kids to you" that he didn't make time within 24 hours. It's what a zchus what a zchus to be able to have that chavrusa. Anyway, he was sitting shiva for his mother and I went to pay a shiva call and I said my usual clever line, yeah. I said, "We always have time for tragedy but never have time for simcha." He looks at me and he goes, "Zeh lo inyan b'chalal." >> [laughter] >> Cuz I always get it wrong. He says, "That's that's not it at all." And he said to me, "You say two yesodos that I that the older I get the more true I realize they are." He [snorts] says, "The reason you go to a simcha is so that the person would not be upset at you." And I know this the you know, somebody was at a rebbe uh in training. He wasn't a rebbe yet. Today he's a rebbe. At his chasseneh. And there were two rebbes sitting there and somebody was nearby. And one of them asked the other, "How long are you going to stay?" And he said, "Till they take the picture." >> [laughter] >> Then we could go. But you show up so the person won't be upset. You know. I don't usually contribute to a simcha. I'm not a great dancer. If I happen to be speaking, I'm speaking, but if I'm not speaking, then I just look for an empty table and I sit there. At a bar mitzvah in Israel, in America, it's a whole different deal, but a bar mitzvah in Israel, they bring you a plate with like three different types of potatoes. They have like, you know, a potato kugel and potato burek, maybe potato in the shape of a swan. They bring you some grilled vegetables that were grilled sometime before the Gulf War, the first Gulf War. And it's just, you know, it's just a sad plate. Somebody told Eddie we shall make kugel to make sure you get all your starches and, you know, I'll sit at the table. If somebody knows me and they come over and they go, "Oh, Rabbi Lopian, they want to talk to me." Fine. But I don't know how to socialize. I never did because in order to socialize, you have to be able to make small talk and I don't know how. And that's why I never got a second date with any girl I went out with, including my wife. >> [laughter] >> Cuz when you go on a date, you have to be able to make small talk. Talk about nothing. I don't know how to do that. I know you watch the podcast and you say, "Hey, you do fine over here." But people who actually listen know that there's always a method to my madness. I even when it looks like I'm talking about nothing, I'm doing something. Yeah. >> [laughter] >> And I once gave a Shabbos Shuva drasha. It was very funny. Funny the whole time, you know. And somebody told me they heard these three ladies leaving and they said, "You realize we just got very strong mussar." >> [laughter] [snorts] >> So, you know, I cover it over. I sugarcoat it, you know. Like Miracle Max, you know, says, you know, you put the little chocolate on the outside, makes it easier to swallow. >> [laughter] >> So, yeah, that's the um uh you know, I [clears throat] took around the but just to sit there and say nothing. Now, there are certain guys who are great at this. They're they're terrific daters, you know. They know how to tell camp uh color war breakout stories. They know how to wax poetic about a cholent they had once. Guys have sometimes the most amazing ability to to, you know, an ode to cholent, you know. And they'll talk about cholent and if there's kishka, forget about it. They can go on for days, you know. >> [laughter] >> And I'm much more of an ideas guy. And I like to get to know people. And um uh and I and I try to talk to people and find out about them. And then, you know, I would have girls who say, "Why are you cross-examining me?" I said, "I was just asking you questions about who you are, your family, like, you know, like I I didn't realize, you know." So, you have to be able to talk about nothing and I'm not good at that. So, when you go to a social affair, that's what you have to do. And you read your Emily Dickinson and I my Robert Frost and we mark our place with bookmarkers that measure what we've lost. [singing] And the room is slowly softly fading. I cannot see you. You're a shadow to me now, lost in the dangling conversation. The superficial sighs, the borders of my lives. Simon and Garfunkel. We actually learned that in English class as poetry. Yeah. And that's what it is, you know. Talk about nonsense. Yes, we speak of things that matter and words that must be said. Can analysis be worthwhile? Is the theater really dead? And that's it. So, I'm not good at that. So, I don't do well in social situations. So, So, Reb Moshe says that's not why you go. You go to a simcha so that people um won't be insulted. And in fact, I had a friend who was making a bar mitzvah. This story must be 30 years old. I thought we were close, you know. He was making a bar mitzvah and I thought to myself, why am I going to go? I'm I'm not going to speak. I'll sit at the table by myself. It's not a Anyway, he called me up afterwards and asked me, "Why aren't you at the bar mitzvah?" So, I told the truth, which is never a good policy. I said, "Well, I didn't think it made a difference if I came." He goes, "That's how much you think of me?" And he never spoke to me again. He was so angry. I learned my lesson. I show up. I sit at an empty table. I eat my plate of starches. I give my you know, my safer, you know. I say goodbye and I leave and and as long as you were there, you want to make sure you were there. I don't do anything there. It doesn't make a difference, but you have to put in an appearance. So, you go to a simcha so people shouldn't uh you know, be offended. He says, "But you go to a house of shiva because the person really needs you." And I thought to myself, me on one hand and Reb Moshe Shapiro on the other hand, really needs me? Amazing thing. Now, the truth of the matter is, I've gone to houses of shiva where clearly the person didn't need me. >> [laughter] >> And I've gone to simchas where [clears throat] it clearly made no difference if I was there or not. I drove out to Ramat Gan once and I came for the >> [clears throat] >> chuppah and I parked far away to be able to get to this very fancy hall. And I wanted to give the father, who we're friendly, uh mazel tov. And I'm waiting online. He's talking to this one, this one, this one and he's just talking to somebody. So, finally I I'm there a very long time and I just walk up with my most congenial manner and I go, "Mazel tov." And he goes, "Oh, thanks for coming." And he goes back to his conversation. >> [laughter] >> And I drove an hour, walked for 20 minutes to be able to get that marvelous reception, you know. So, sometimes you go, it doesn't make a difference. Sometimes I go to a house of shiva and people are talking and I'm I'm sitting there three rows back and he doesn't they don't acknowledge me. They don't say anything. They don't this. And uh it's uh I'm I'm using Reb Moshe's rule and assuming, you know, somehow my presence must be doing something to bring some kind of an achama. On the other hand, sometimes I show up at a simcha and it may not even be somebody that I'm that close to and they're so happy that I'm there. My my wife, cuz I'm on the on the boy's side, you know. Uh I'm on the boy's side, she's on the girl's side, you know. So, they said she was a good kallah. And I was wondering, what's a good What's a bad kallah, you know? So, a good kallah is somebody who looks around and sees who's there and makes sure to pull them in. To be able to include them. And there chasanim like that, too, that they they look who's there and they pull you in to to let you know that the fact that you came is being acknowledged. Yeah. So, sometimes I show up to a simcha and the people seem genuinely thrilled that I'm there. I don't know if they are or not, but at least they fake it and I think that's really good, too, you know, cuz at least you feel like, okay, I didn't schlep out for nothing. Yeah. And um uh and sometimes you go to a house of shiva and the person really wants to talk to you. Really wants to talk to you. And uh it's amazing. Amazing. You know. I once went to a house of shiva and it was only I came in the morning, it was only family there. And the father says, "Oh, baruch Hashem, Rabbi Lopian is here. I heard him say on a tape once we can understand why tragedies happen. So, he's going to explain to us why Zaidy died." And I was like the only one there. I was like, "Yeah." >> [laughter] >> And I did. But that's for another story. Yeah. But um uh the the fact that you go someplace and somebody, you know, like they ask you, "Please come up front." And they want to talk to you and they want to involve you, etc. All of this is by way of introduction. And and the way of introduction is the following. I had this zchus to have a kesher with uh a Reb Alter Yachnes, zatzal. Now, if you knew him, you knew him by his name Rebbi Alter. He was known as Rebbi Alter. He would take his guitar. He would go to different schools, go to different classes and he would sing and he would make leibedik and you know, his most famous song that, of course, went platinum. Paro be pajama be amsa laila. Paro be pajama be amsa laila. Paro be pajama be amsa laila. Ay ay ay ay ay. So, everybody knows that, you know. And somebody even spoke about it at his levaya, you know. Anyway, he suddenly got sick. It wasn't even clear what he had. And and they said he's not going to make it through the night. Now, I was friendly with him. You know, whenever we'd see him, we we would talk, etc., you know? There was small talk there, you know? And I get a call from the family. My father wants to see you. I'm thinking to myself, you're on your deathbed and you want to see me? >> [laughter] >> Full disclosure, I don't want to see me on my deathbed. >> [laughter] >> But uh And I couldn't go. They said, "We don't think he'll last the night." I was like, "I got to the next day." Baruch Hashem, he lasted. He lasted for a while. You know, he kept beating the odds. They kept They kept writing him off and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. They didn't know how to treat him. A terrible, terrible story. And um But I went down to the to the hospital and sat in his room. Turns out he would watch the Rabbi Avigdor Miller show. He enjoyed it, you know? >> [laughter] >> And one of his kids had a guitar and started playing and we were singing, you know? It was something very special. And uh And when he was nifter I went to pay a shiva call. And [clears throat] I got this amazing reaction from the family. They said, "You know, he held from you so much. He so enjoyed listening to you. You You meant so much to him." I said, "Listen, Rabbi Avigdor was you know, he's He's an institution. I'm I'm a guy, you know? He's somebody special. He's He's a uh you know? He's next level, you know? And and his daughters wanted to speak to me also, you know? I can go by go by go by the women's side, you know? And and it impressed on me how much I meant to Rabbi Avigdor and Rabbi Avigdor meant to me and meant really to call yourself. So this is a somewhat morbid introduction to what I wanted to talk about first. And that is getting ready for Pesach. >> [laughter] [gasps] >> Pesach's right around the corner. I put on my matzah tie and everything, yeah? One of the things we used to do is There There are certain There are certain um I'm saying tapes cuz I'm old, you know? Uh recordings that have meaning. All of my kids grew up listening to the Purim story. We'd play it over and over again the week before Purim. They know the whole thing by heart. They use the the lines in normal conversation. The Purim story, you know? And they'll quote lines, you know? From those things. Uh And remember you know, Hashem will always be with you. I can't tell you how many times kids would like leave the house and one of their sisters would say, "Remember, Hashem will always be uh with you, you know?" >> [laughter] >> Every line they would they would access, you know? So um Mordecai, I didn't know we were talking about Mordecai. [laughter] And it was not the the week before Pesach without Rabbi Avigdor's Pesach tape. And we had it in Hebrew, we had it in English, you know? But the Hebrew one There's There's two people like this that I can think of. There might be others, but just off the top of my head. That when they talk you can hear them smiling. All right? Rabbi Scharfman is one of that. If you listen to him sing, it sounds like he's smiling. Shalom shalom rav. You can You can hear the smile. And Rabbi Avigdor was like that. Shalom yeladim. >> [laughter] >> And it was getting ready for Pesach. You know, are you already ready for Pesach? And the kids were yes, we already cleaned everything, we have everything ready. He goes, "Did you already have the seder?" No. He goes, "Oh, it's a little bit late. Get ready, you know?" And there's this enthusiasm and excitement. I've done a lot of interesting projects over the years. There was a pirate radio station called Kol Simcha. And Reuven Subar from Ohr Someayach had on Friday morning English programming. And I used to do a uh divrei Torah on the parsha on this show. Yeah? And uh It was a lot of fun. No one knows where it is. I mean, eventually they they closed it down cuz it was a pirate radio station and you know, I don't think any other station wants to give us American, you know, English programming. But uh it was it was a phenom People were listening all over the country. It was really something special. And um And no one even knows he did it. I did these cassette tapes where I played some sort of a rabbi character telling a story. It starts with an introduction from a professional voice man. Little Tommy was lying on the hospital bed waiting to find if the operation would be successful. Anyway, it was a 2-minute introduction from this guy and then I spoke for 45 minutes. And it took him longer to do his 2-minute introduction cuz he was a professional voice guy than it took me to do 45 minutes. I don't know what's ever happened to those cassettes. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, I'm sure they're out there someplace, but like they disappeared. So the There are different projects that you do uh um over the years. I don't know what really happened to it. So this fellow was filming. He wanted to do a sort of a show. And he did four pilot episodes. Starting moi, if you will. And uh they were interview shows and different topics and it was an interesting kind of thing we did. It was a It was a uh um a show. He also had a professional voice man introducing it, you know? And um And I uh I remember I interviewed this rabbetzin before Pesach about Pesach cleaning. And she says, "I think Pesach cleaning can be a very positive thing." And I was like, "Oh, come on, you know? Nobody wants to clean for Pesach. Nobody does. Nobody that, you know?" And uh that was more or less the the topic over there. How to make Pesach cleaning happy and meaningful, etc. So now with Pesach around if you're staying home and you have not cleaned it, I really suggest you get to work. >> [laughter] >> Cuz time is ticking away. Ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka ticka, you know? Before you know it, it's over. And people get so involved. You do not need to sort out all of the magazines. I don't know why that is a pre-Pesach job. I got a big stack of magazines, newspapers. I have to go through them, see what I'm going to save, what I'm not going to save. There's nothing there. You don't have to rip out pages with pictures of chametz, you know? That just put it off to the side. Now, there's one woman who the story goes the rabbi says, "We're so busy cleaning and cleaning." It was erev Pesach and she says, "Rabbi, I didn't get to clean the refrigerator. Do I have to clean it?" He goes, "Of course you do. It's filled with chametz. What What What are you talking about? What were you doing instead?" The trisim you know, the windows and the baseboards, you know? Switching over the children's clothing from winter to spring you know? None of those things are the obligations. Start with the obligations. Remember one person told the story, he says I start with the kitchen. I know it's counterintuitive because, you know, the house is all chametz. I do the kitchen first cuz those are the hardest jobs and the most important and then I work out from there. That's an interesting way of looking at it. The idea of getting ready for Pesach is so amazing. And like I say when you're playing the Rabbi Avigdor tape the Pesach tape in the background, it adds to it, you know? When you have music going, when you have things going on that we are doing the avodah b'simcha. I once heard Rabbi Fishman, the uh mashgiach in Torah Temima in Shaar Hashamayim He says, "Kodesh Baruch Hu is going to say you have to get rid of all of your chametz. Uh m'stama he could have said get rid of all of your fleishig for a week. Yeah? And wouldn't be such a big deal. How far is a kid going to walk with a polkie, you know what I mean? That's big a deal. But chametz, you can find it everywhere. My grandchildren, you know, like squirrels, you know? They hide it away. You find it in the bookcase hidden over here, hidden over there. Friend of mine was an avreich says, you know, I was cleaning out the bottom of my uh closet and someone had stuck a uh a cookie inside of my shoe. Not a cookie like a midrash, like, you know, like a like an actual cookie. >> [laughter] >> And you know, when the little kids get their shalach manos, they hide it all over the house to make sure their brothers and sisters don't take it, you know? So it's a major job. So he says, "Because that's the concept of avdus. We we didn't go down to Mitzrayim because it was bad luck. Uh circumstances did not go against us. That there was just a series of mishaps that caused us to become avadim. We went down to Mitzrayim to become avadim. That's what Hashem told Avraham. V'avadum v'inu oisam. You're going to to be slaves, you're going to be oppressed. Why? Cuz that's part of becoming an ever Hashem. And there is no greater praise. We say I remember you know. Say ever Hashem. And you know says Aaron and [clears throat] Moshe, what do you want from us? We're nobody. We're just We're just very mean to Hashem and Moshe of day. We're slaves to Hashem. We do whatever Hashem says. We're not We're not uh you know the people in charge. We just avoid them. But we were been a I remember you can Yakov. We were rich. We were powerful. We were smart. Benay Israel was courted by kings and uh and princes and uh the greatest intellectuals and the greatest people of the generation. Everyone knew who we were. And we had to learn to become a slave. That's not easy. I did a question and answer and kinds of the slavery in the Torah and um And I don't know if I made this point at the time, but part part and parcel of that is that we're also supposed to be slaves. Anna Anna Anna I have a daughter that could be a shower who I know I am a slave of a college by her. And here Fishman said they translate in English as a servant. A servant is somebody that you hire who can quit at any time. You are not a servant. You are a slave. And college by her is our master. I need a of the banana masa. I am a slave the son of a slave woman. And we understand that we have to learn of this. And in fact prior said I'm transferring you over as a bottom for me to a bottom to Hashem. But to be free? That's never been the goal of being a year. To be free. Now what do I mean by being free? I mean free to be able to follow our religion, free to be able to learn, but to have care? Just to do whatever you want? To to be a wild animal? Now wild animal is free. He runs around. He eats eats other animals. He He does whatever he wants. Yeah, there's no limitations. It says when you have a young calf you can put that these little like rubber owls um yolks that they would put on them. So the time and they're young they learn how to be ready to pull a plow. Because from the time you're little you understand you're here to work. And so when we have children we have to instruct them from the time that they're little that they're here to do something. A parent who tells the kid do whatever you want. I don't care what you do. Go to sleep, don't go to sleep, go to school, don't go to school. Brush your teeth, don't brush your teeth, eat candy all day. I don't really care what you do. Bathe, don't bathe, makes no difference to me. That's not a great parent. That's a form of child abuse. It's called neglect. We had a fundraiser when I was running NCSY. Candy. We sell candy. Have these special fundraising candy bars. And we go around selling them. And the kids you know they they sell for a dollar a piece and um you get credit for how many you sell and you get prizes and stuff and I think we make 50 cents on a bar something. That's the way it works. Yeah. I was this one girl took like 20 bars and when they were collecting the money they said where are the 20 bars? She says I didn't sell them. I said okay, well where are the bars? And I says I ate them. So we thought that's strange. She seems like a nice girl. So someone went down to the house. And the mother was an alcoholic. There was no food in the house. Kid was hungry. So she has these 20 candy bars. That's what she lived on. We eventually got her out of the house. We got her in with a foster family. But uh you know you uh you [clears throat] you look at a kid like this and they have nothing. That's called neglect. And that's just same you know, so you're not beating the kid but it's another form of abuse. It's called neglect. You know, give it to somebody else. Give it to somebody who appreciates the kid. Wants the kid. You don't care. You have no use for it. I never thought this happens in from families too, you know. >> [snorts] >> Where people neglect their kids. You know. But the crown tells a story. It's a heartbreaking story. And he says this teenage girl steals the after common. And the father says what would you like for the after common? And she says how about a conversation? Others will burn him had a video where this kid asks his father how much money do you make an hour? So he tells him. He pulls out a jar with little coins and he says can I buy 10 minutes of your time? Unfortunately we get on neglect and and and uh and from homes too. You know. Because why? Because we tend to problem solve. Kind of how we have large families and uh Well when I used to be in education they used to say 10% of the kids get 90% of the time. Cuz they're very demanding. And whenever I would teach or I was involved in a school I would always say I'm there for the 90%. Who nobody else is looking after. That's who I want. A nice normal kid who's doing the right thing and is struggling and just wants someone to take an interest in them. To be free? Where nobody cares about you? Somebody told me an interesting story. I sent my daughter to a seminary that I thought would be good for my girls as a happy positive place. It was not one of the harsh shiv high schools here in Israel seminary. And that's very important to people. In fact at one point in my naivete I was actually going to start my own seminary based on my educational principles. When I say seminary I mean seminary like high school. And a lot of people said to me it sounds great. I said will you send your daughter? Says if I can't get her into any place else. I said but don't you agree this is the best thing for your daughter? He goes oh yeah, of course. And two people actually said to me I'd rather send my daughter to a high school that will turn her off from Judaism but will be good for she do him than to send it to a place where she'll be happy but won't have such a good name for she do him. So uh So I had a friend of mine said where are you sending your daughters? And I told him. And he says how is it there? And I told him stories and he says wow, that sounds great. I wish I had the courage to send my daughter there. I said what do you mean? Says she was accepted in one of the top high schools. And I'll describe it to you as following he says. I went to dental school. And part of being a dental school is that people you have a clinic. People come off the street with dental problems who can't afford dental care. And we give them dental care for free. A lot of places are like this. My uncle Bernie who became a barber hair stylist. And the same thing the hair styling places were on the Bowery. So somebody would come in for free to get a haircut, get a shave. So there's this drunk passed out in his chair and he's giving him a haircut. And he nicks his ear and cuts his neck and then whatever it is. The guy's lying there. When he's all done he says you're done. And the guy staggers out of the chair and he says I sleep in our street. I eat garbage. But from now on I'll pay for a haircut. >> [laughter] >> My uncle was so upset, but my father loved that story. He would tell it all the time. >> [laughter] >> I'll pay for a haircut. So he did dental schools some places like this and people come in. So he says you know, find the easiest case you can. Then you'll get a good mark and you'll do it. You know, there's a cavity, drill the cavity, fix it, fill it, you know, whatever it is. Take something easy. You don't want to take a cracked tooth. You don't want to take these. These are harder things. So, after a few months, I realized I'm not learning how to become a dentist. So, the next time when they brought in from the clinic, I took the hardest case. I did terrible on it. And I got a low mark. And the head of the program said to me, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm trying to learn to become a dentist." And he said to me, "Your goal is to come in here, graduate, and leave without anyone ever knowing who you are." He says, "That's what this high school is like. No one cares about you. No one's interested in you. It's uh it's a scary thing. Yeah? And um someone just asked me over Shabbos how to be a successful teacher. And uh I tell the story about this person who was speaking to a group of teachers and said, "Say your name and what you teach." So, he says, "Uh I teach geography. I teach chemistry. I teach English." When he was all done, he says, "No one gave me the right answer. You teach students. And that's going to be your concern is the people who are there. When I was in Discovery, Ari Kahn told me a Yiddish word that was so important. He said, "Don't ask a Don't answer the question. Answer the questioner. Figure out why the person is asking this and what they want to know. Because the answer will be different depending on different things. So, when the mirror got to Shanghai, so the Germans had basically sent a message to the Japanese to basically exterminate these people. So, the general in charge said uh "I um I want to speak to the people in charge of your group." So, it was Khayim Shmuel Levovits and the Amshinov Rebbe. And he said, "My question is why do the Germans hate the Jews?" So, Khayim Shmuel Levovits says, "This is a question for a Rebbe." So, Amshinov Rebbe looked at him and said, "They hate us because they're Aryan and we're Oriental." Now, by the way, the Middle East was always called the Orient. Right? And that's why it was called the There was it was called the East and the Far East. So, it was still considered Oriental people. And the general said, "That's what we thought. And we're probably next in line. We'll make sure you're safe." All right, great answer. But that was the end. Whether or not it's a correct answer or not, it was the answer for that situation to be able to explain it. And people understand it. Yeah? And so, when you uh approach a situation, right? You have to know, right? How am I going into this? What am I trying to accomplish? To To be able to know how to answer somebody, but you have to know the person. And so, when a kid goes to a school and their goal is you should come here and graduate and we never know who you are. Tom Lehrer, a professor of mathematics and uh Harvard University, was best known for writing funny songs. So, he wrote a song about his old days in Harvard. And uh the line, you know, towards the end it says, "And we'll sleep through all the classes, and we'll cheat on the exams, and we'll pass and be forgotten with the rest." That's how it goes. No one knows who you are. When I used to teach in seminary, so I had between 40 and 50 girls in a class, and I had two classes. Twice a week. It wasn't like every day. It's twice a week. And um the first semester I worked really hard to get down the names. Now, that's between 80 and 100 names. My memory is not [clears throat] my strong point. But by the end of the first semester, I basically knew who everybody was. And one time, one of the girls asked, "Why are you doing this? Nobody does this." Most of the teachers look down at the desk and go, you know, call out the the roll and then check the names. Sometimes they give it to a girl to do. They don't even do it themselves. I said, "Because if you're taking my class, I feel an obligation to know who you are. So, if years from now somebody calls me up and says, 'Was so-and-so in your class?' I can say, 'Yes.'" Had a girl maybe 20 years ago in my class. She dropped in on Purim. Says, "Do you remember me?" And I said, "Yes, I did." And I told her a few things to show her that I remembered who she was. And pretty surprised. Cuz I had a thousand students over the years. Yeah? At least. I'm going to give you 100 a year. Total of 20 years at 2,000 students. It's quite an accomplishment. But I worked hard to be able to know who these people are because that's the difference between chinuch and teaching. Teaching, you're teaching material. Chinuch, you're dedicating people to a cause. And so, you should know who these people are. Make an effort. Right? That's my attitude. So, um freedom? Freedom is overrated. Yeah? Freedom to be able to do whatever you want? Understand that if you have no limitations, you're completely a prisoner. Because you're just a creature of your tavis. You don't have a choice. Like the famous story of the scorpion who asked the frog to take him across the river. He says, "You can't You'll sting me and I'll He says, "If I sting you, you'll fall into the river and I'll die, too." That makes sense. So, they're going across the river, and suddenly he feels a sting in his back. And as he's dying, he says, "Why would you do that? You're going to die, too." He says, "I know, but it's my nature." Modern philosophy comes from two sources, Calvin and Hobbes, who in fact were named after two uh two philosophers. And um and the Far Side. And there was this Far Side where there was this crocodile on the witness stand. And he looks at the prosecutor and says, "Of course it was in cold blood. I'm a reptile." >> [laughter] >> It's just the way I am. As Popeye says, "I am what I am." There was a documentary that came out some decades ago on the subject called The Lion King. If you never saw it, let me sum it up for you. Basically, uh there's a lion king. And he's in charge of all the lions, and by extension, all the other animals. And all the other animals are so happy that there's a lion king. And eventually, [clears throat] the bad lion kills his brother, and his son runs away, and he finally comes back and beats his uncle, and he becomes the new lion king. And all the animals are cheering. The zebras, the giraffes, uh antelopes, everybody's cheering. Although it's clear that him and his friends are going to eat them. Cuz they eat zebras, and they eat giraffes. That's what lions do. So, why didn't they end the movie with Simba announcing, "We've all decided to become vegetarians"? Because when a lion eats an animal, he's not a bad lion. That's what he's supposed to do. Carnivores eat meat. The only carnivore who's not allowed in today's society meat are man. Human beings, we're not even though we're carnivores, we're not allowed to eat, you know, meat. The lion can eat it. I remember there was this uh when the um Exxon Valdez went down, there was this giant oil slick in it. You know, it was killing a lot of animals, sea life. So, uh they had this thing where there was this uh I don't know if it was a seal or a sea otter, whatever it was. Cost $250,000 to clean it up and get it healthy. And they had a big show, and they released it into the wild. And it goes off jumping, and a uh either a whale or a shark goes like hump, just swallows him. >> [laughter] >> And I said, "That was the most expensive meal that thing ever had." >> [laughter] >> $250,000. And that's what happens in the wild. So, you don't say it's a bad lion cuz he's eating people. That's what lions do. It's part of their nature. The salmon will swim upstream to spawn, no matter how many times you explain to them that there are fishermen waiting up there to catch them. So listen, spawn over here, I won't tell anybody. Well, I'll keep watch. They can't help it. That's their nature. People follow their nature. I'll take her. Horace Alocas Alocas All of the laws of the Torah make you free. Because if you're trapped in your tyvis and your addictions, you're not free. You can't make a decision. You act on instinct like an animal. I'll never forget that scene with Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke in The Miracle Worker where she was playing Helen Keller. And Helen Keller was blind, deaf, and dumb. And so Anne Sullivan comes in to try to teach her and get through to her. And she's sitting there eating her food like like an animal and walking around and taking food and she can't see, she can't hear. And Anne Sullivan grabs her hand and sits her down and she starts fighting her and fighting her. And the family's like, "Oh, don't treat her that way." And they said, "Please leave." Eventually he was able to develop Helen Keller to be able to go to college. And actually she became a communist. >> [laughter] >> I wish you remind me of the seal that got eaten by the by the whale over there. But um you know, but he she brought her into life. It opened it up. And a way that you don't even realize it. So, if I could do anything I want and and I do and I have no controls just an animal. It's not called free. Harris means that I accept upon myself a Kodesh Baruchu. I am an eved Hashem. And that's what Pesach is all about. That's why we have to do the cleaning and searching and digging around for all of the chametz because we're showing avdus. We're showing that we're an eved Hashem who's living our entire life only for a Kodesh Baruchu. So as Reb Meish Shapiro used to say, "Zeh ma she'er tzinah levareh." This is what we wanted to explain this week. This is the idea. That all of the Pesach cleaning and like I say, I'm going away to a hotel and so the packing and the schlepping much worse. >> [laughter] >> Love to stay home and scrub. And I used to have people who would come you know uh and and volunteer to come and help us clean for Pesach cuz they were staying in Yeshiva. They just they wanted the the thrill of cleaning for Pesach. And we were happy to oblige them. Yeah, we're always happy to help. Yeah. So uh so that's the idea. The idea is that we're going to become avdei Hashem. This is the process. And Reb Fishman made another observation. The people usually don't care that much about halacha. You do it like this, you do it like that. It's good enough. I'm sure it's fine. And what do you need that for, you know? He says, "Comes the seder night people start fighting over the Haggadah. What are you doing? Mine says don't cover the challahs. This says no, mine doesn't say that. Yes, but what does your Haggadah say with that? Yeah. Suddenly they're interested in every single instruction that that to be able to be there even those who don't know anything. If not the Shulchan Aruch used to tell the story about this woman he met and she said, "You know, we were making a seder and I suddenly realized I didn't have a shank bone. So I put a pork chop on the seder plate, you know, so that I would have meat with a bone." So it's no idea. But but there's that sense that is lodged in the collective subconscious of Klal Yisrael that this is a time to become an eved Hashem and to accept it upon it. And b'mechitzas Hashem all of us should be zocheh to be able to have the true geulah and true cheirus. And now appreciation comments. Ora Kahn Your shiurim are absolutely great. I enjoy every single one of them. Three exclamation marks. Your hashkafos haChaim is really like oxygen in this crazy world. Thank you so much. I try to give over what I have received from my rebbeim with a little dose of you know, more modern application perhaps. Um I had a student very very bright. And she went on to become I don't know if it was a doctor, a biologist, or something. I don't know. Not hard sciences, you know. And uh and she said to me, "I don't understand uh age of the world. How the Torah says the age of the world. And don't tell me answer number one cuz I don't like it. And don't tell me answer number two cuz I don't like it. And don't tell me answer number three cuz I don't like it." I said, "Okay." And I slowly went through the topic point by point making sure that we agreed on each thing as we were moving along. At the end I finally gave an answer. And she says, "Now that makes sense." I said, "I know. It was answer number two. I just repackaged it." So I try to repackage what I received from my rebbeim. Um I have a a tape. Um it today they would call it going viral but back then they they call it they used to call it going platinum like a album that sells a lot, you know. They call it going platinum. And it was uh I spoke on platonic relationships about 35 years ago. And it went platinum, yeah. And uh somebody told me that Reb Shaya Cohen shlita uh said "I don't know what the big deal is. I've been saying this for years. He just said it better." And that's more or less what I try to do. >> [laughter] >> So thank you. Hi Rebbi, I love this show. I listen every week. I deeply appreciate the amazingly deep content mixed with the classic Rabbi Orlofsky humor. Thank you. I I usually cover up the content with the humor. That's what I try to do. You know, somebody used to come to my Motzei Shabbos shiur and one week I couldn't come and they listened to recording instead and they said, "You know, when I'm in the shiur I'm I'm busy having a good time and I miss a lot of the stuff that you say you say a lot of deep things." I said, "What are you doing? Trying to kill my parnassah? Just say he's funny." That's what I'm here for. Yeah. So I'm glad you saw that there's a method to my madness. I'm a self-identified crazy. Thank you. I love you. Come and join us. Yeah. Who not only listen to every podcast numerous times but also to almost all of your content on Torah Anytime. Just for the rest of you who are out there who are not crazies, when I meet a crazy it is frightening because whatever I say they're mouthing it along with me. It's so hard for me to come up with something they don't know. So uh yeah. Uh I was curious if you could explain the Gemara in Gittin daf love that says Bavel is north of Eretz Yisrael if factually it's east. Uh that's an easy one. Um it's northeast. >> [snorts] >> And we recognize that it's in the east because we call Eretz Yisrael in regard to it ma'arava, the west. But it's also in the north. If you look at the map, you'll see it's further north. And so it's associated with the north. So it's a little bit of both. And that's it for this week. To find out more about the show, you can go to my website orlofsky.com. You can sponsor a episode, sponsor parsha [music] and five sponsor a question and answer. You could sign up for one of my online shiurim. And uh that's it for now. >> [music] >> Until next time, I'm David Orlofsky and this has been the Rabbi Orlofsky show. Chag kasher v'sameach. It's the Rabbi Orlofsky show. Torah and simcha ready to go. The Rabbi Orlofsky show. Knowledge and wisdom will help you grow. Lots of [music] fun in every episode. And we don't have to rhyme. Though we do. It's the Rabbi Orlofsky show. Orlofsky.com Torah anytime, YouTube, [singing and music] and more. It's Rabbi Orlofsky show. Torah and simcha ready to go. It's the Rabbi Orlofsky show. Till next time till we meet again. The Rabbi Orlofsky show. It's the Rabbi Orlofsky show. It's the Rabbi Orlofsky show.