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You've Destroyed the Person

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Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky avatar
Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky

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They have what they call in marriage a kitchen sink argument. What does that mean? It means I start to argue with you about one thing and I throw in everything that I'm upset about including the kitchen sink. Because at that point it's no longer constructive. If I think that there's a problem I want to address somebody about. One of my children, one of my friends, my spouse, one of my family members, one of my tell me them. I'm not going to be effective if I say, "You did this wrong and this wrong and this wrong and this wrong and this wrong." Because at that point you've destroyed the person. But if you want to discuss a particular issue, let's talk about a particular issue and let's address that. That's the only way that's going to have a conversation.