#114: Behind the Bima - Yehuda Kohn

Rabbi schmooz about contemporary issues and talk to special guests who give up behind the scenes look at how they got to where they are welcome to behind the bema good evening the world may be celebrating Yeshiva week but it's Wednesday night nine o'clock I'm Rabbi from Goldberg joined by my dear friend and colleague Rabbi Joshua Brody and we are here to take you behind the bema behind the beam of this week of incredible guest Yahoo decone we've known him for a very long time you wanna you wanna be in contact with someone who's just filled with boundless love and energy and giving and goodness have you ever met anyone who doesn't have 10 children or 18 children have you ever met anyone who has 712 children well tonight tonight you're going to meet a man by the way not from like many different wives and many different lives he has 712 children that he takes responsibility for pays tuition for walks down the aisle and so on and so forth what an incredible incredible person I want to thank our general sponsor for this evening William reesh in memory of Myron riches the beloved father on the occasion of his first your site thank you William thank you to the rich families we are very very grateful before we bring yahuda on and get into the conversation this outstanding outstanding person Rabbi Brody tell us what's going on with you what's going on is that we just celebrated ACM on the dharm it's really bizarre to be able to say that but uh and it all started here at least and tonight mdy is celebrating a Miami seam over 500 guys have flown in from Israel and all over the country to celebrate and if you don't believe in the whole at least a fancy phenomenon on behind the meme go back and watch that episode I don't know a fact Checker which episode was it at least the fancy goes out behind the beam he challenged Rabbi Brody in real time go online and sign up because it's not about the duff it's about the yomi rabbi Brody did it like on a whim like a joke like let me appease this guy he's our guest tonight it makes for good makes for good podcasting and uh and you haven't missed the other day since something very special as we begin the the the the the uh we're beginning Nazir just to give people an exciting you know say well what's different about this year there's so many different places you can go and learn it's true they're all good but where else can you get an actual nuzzier a three-minute interview with a nuzzer on today's cheers that was very exciting he's great also just for you Rabbi Goldberg because I know that you know you got much much more involved in in technology and broadcasting serum as as uh as uh as the uh the pandemic started to to to to to you know unfortunately wreak havoc in in our community but but there was a point where and they showed this video yesterday where where three years ago he was literally down to No One participating in this year and he gets an email from somewhere actually this guy from that's organizing the same down in Miami Michael and he said he said listen just trust me this this the sheer is going to pick up you're gonna see just take off they're gonna be they're gonna be seeing him all over the world wow and now he's over I love it guys yes I love it so Robert bro you forwarded me a text earlier today a friend of ours a colleague of ours when we know a long time I don't know how public it is I won't say who but a prominent Rabbi in the tri-state area alerting his community that he's going to be making out of the eye he's not going to be renewing his contract and I shared that in a in a WhatsApp group I have with a few rabbinic colleagues dear dear friends and you know kind of just just dropped it there just deposited it there let it sit and stew a little bit curious the reactions and one of the rabbis wrote back yeah that's going to be me soon I'm looking forward to sending that text also to my community and I wrote back you know I feel that gravitational pull to our homeland I desperately want to be there too but who will be left are we ready to turn the lights out is that it like what's the future of American Jury Outreach to the countless assimilated into marrying Jews in reach to the disaffected observant Jews so many of whom are not turned on not excited are we are we there's no Jewish future in America are we ready to turn the lights out and a big debate then suit in our group of you know do you pass the mantle to the next generation are the Next Generation accepting the Baton because the numbers are down in samihar we are we getting the robotum of the future is it on us last week's guest of meisleman said he must have said 20 times in that interview the raw of Salvage shaped me he molded me everything I am is him I don't think without thinking him except for one thing and what was the one thing the Rob told them don't make Ali told us to do the same thing don't make Aliyah Jews in America need you they didn't listen and the Jews of Israel are better off for the fact that they didn't listen but the Rob was not not somebody who didn't value Israel and yet the Rev felt we have a responsibility here so anyway yeah not not necessarily for now maybe it'll make for a great panel discussion maybe we'll bring a group of robundum on and have this debate sort of should we be true to our own interest of desire to be in Israel um or do we have a responsibility here does the Captain America but the captain going down with the ship and you can't abandon the ship as long as the ship is still sailing and then the seas are are as wild and dangerous as they've ever been Captain's got to go down with the ship it's an interesting question you could definitely hear a lot of angles a lot of different directions for those on the sidelines it's a no-brainer I have Aliyah snobs all the time email text me comment on things I post Rabbi you belong here just get up and announce you're making oh yeah everybody's going to come with you this is the future what do you write and claim and you care about Israel if you care about Israel you'd come not so simple not so simple it is very simple that we all to care about and love and be devoted to and support and Advocate and work hard for Israel all of that is a no-brainer it's not an if but a one we're gonna go and even until we can live there full time can we at least part-time feel connected and go as often as we can is it binary is it all or nothing Aliyah can you can you be there even if you're not there full time there's a lot of really nuanced interesting questions right a lot of interesting questions and also yet you have now for the for the first time you have more and more younger folks that are graduating high school and saying they're making their home there before their parents even moved right it's a new phenomenon we didn't have that how many people did you know that made Aliyah when you graduating high school I would love nothing more I'll say it here I'll say it now I'll say it I'm behind the bema Wednesday night I would love nothing more than my children to make Aliyah now you have it doesn't feel entirely similarly not ideologically but because you want to be close to your children and grandchildren but I'd love them to give me an excuse to go to Israel all the time but that's that's where I want my grandchildren great grandchildren great great grandchildren to be they're not in their bonus or they're not there yet so they don't have what I would think is the um responsibility or obligation that refsalavechik or the lab talked about so I would love nothing more than for them to live there and you're right we do see the Phenomenon with young people so let me just ask you if all of your children happen to make Eliana right would that then turn that decision of I have a responsibility to my community in America but all my kids my grandchildren children and Grand listen every what stage of Life are you what capacity do you have to go as can you buy a place there and go as frequently as you can and be able to balance you know two things if your children all choose to live in New York are you leaving Florida and the difference you're making in Florida just because they don't live here I'm not saying obviously I'm not comparing Israel and New York Israel is our homeland it's the heart of the Jewish people it's where we belong I'm just saying that it's complicated they're complicated questions you know some people want to oversimplify but they're complicated and and many rabbana who do go and I know this rev who sent that text will be successful he's fantastically um talented and sincere but a lot of our bottom do go and they think you know what I could be a street cleaner in Israel and that's more meaningful than being the biggest most influential rub in America and then they struggle to find their place and then they don't feel they're making a difference and then they say and they have said to me don't come don't do it you're making a difference you know you're also promoting Aliyah Israel anyway interesting question only in real time because you sent that to me today and I shared it in that group today and maybe you will have a panel or discussion or stream such a debate and discussion about that and the some of the questions and the variables and the nuance and the complications that go into it but for now something that's not complicated at all and that is yehudacone the director the father betalis Rocky 712 kids over 30 years of leading This Magnificent place which he'll talk a lot more about it's a pleasure and a privilege to welcome on the great review Huda cone I know that Robert Brody and are incredibly excited to welcome on and go behind the with our dear friend for a long time review The Cone who is the director and the father director doesn't do justice really the father almost literally the father of the beta lazaraki Children's Home in Netanya one of the most special places on planet Earth Yahoo to thank you for being with us we're so excited to have this conversation thank you so much for inviting me to behind the Beamer it's really really very very special it is uh it is great to be together I'll never forget the first time I went to bait elizarak it was many many summers ago I was in Israel with my family and our our mutual dear friends the strolls who've been involved for a long time and cards you got to see this magical place in Netanya and I kept thinking they and others were just mispronouncing it it's Rocky and it's like some modest little hole in the wall but I'll do it make them happy and it changed my life I've been inspired and Blown Away ever since then so let's start out tell us a little bit about bait elizaki how it got its name and how it got you what were you and your wife up to that you interrupted and changed your whole life you're now the the longest running director father of a children's home in all of Israel you have seniority even though you look so young and vibrant it's a Moroccan family who established a home in 1969 so that's why the name elazaki they came from Morocco from Tangier and they established the home and from there the name alazaki is coming we had the honor of my wife and myself when we were in Brazil in a schlichut of the Zionist organization and we are coming back from Brazil we see a small ad in the newspaper a children's home is looking for a director and Children's Home is Attila Deen 33 years ago a children's home in a city what's the story we knew the Children's Home exist in kibbutz what is the Children's Home in the city we decided to come and see and we are walking in here to a Lobby and we see 37 beautiful cute children we're asking who are these children and they tell us that these children cannot be with their fathers and mothers for terrible reasons and terrible stories and we were really really shocked that this can happen but this was our first shot the real shock was when we found out that all the 37 all of them are second and third generation of the same thing I was looking my wife she was looking at me one second is this is a genetical problem what's the story here in edit this role how this happens and we decided to come we had to condition one that they should build us two rooms inside the home then in that time we had three children one for our children one for us and the second that they will let us to change their goal that's a beginning of the story 37 children when you got there and today how many children are there in Bedell as Rocky there are 217 children who lives here in bethelazaki and plus we will say a few words we have to thank God our Seminary the MTC Seminary with Russia tour at has said that Hashem very very special and successful and we will say a few words about it also but then how many graduates 217 live there now and we're going to get into this but you know what's amazing and the people watching listening you need to know that's like in your home when someone says how many children you say 217. that's yehuda's relationship with these children he's their father we'll talk more about that in a moment but 217 so well that's not so big that's not thousands now imagine that your home wasn't just your children you know the American you know 2.5 children or whatever the average is today 217 that's an incredible number but how many graduates of ozarki through the years of your being there we are now 711 graduates every year we have the number so it's a huge family and uh we are getting all of us together today we need all the basketball court and we found out that this Hanukkah it wasn't enough place over there because everyone is coming with their children and if we're speaking about 33 years ago that we came here so graduate already got married and they have their own children and we had the honor this year to have in a shout out to me it's a very important part the national service to have The Graduate daughter wow they really broke the cycle when he sent his daughter to be a counselor's a counselor for others that's amazing what are the ages of the of the kids that are there the the youngest child is five years old the oldest child that with me now is 23 years old and he's going already to University but the idea is really really when you say fathers and mothers everyone who have a child he's a father and she's a mother but our real work is to be parents of the children these children have fathers and mothers they're not orphan biologically but they don't have parents their father and mother cannot be parents we understood very fast when we came here that whoever have a child as I said he's a father and she's a mother but they not parent yet parenting to be a parent is a different McGregor and that's the real story I think it's an unusual thing about beta lazaraki is um many of the other children's homes take the children and they're separated from their parents and I know that part of your agenda is many of the children go home and interact still with their with their mother and father and the goal is not to separate them or bring them apart it's to complement and to offer what their biological parents are not but the goal ultimately is to keep the family intact which is which is such an amazing goal um Yehuda you mentioned Lumi who would you say are the best two sharut Lami girls that you've ever had at bait elizaraki would they be from Modi in two sisters maybe named Ruthie and Leia Palestine you mean of course what do you mean that they were the best are they related to you by coincidence they're related only only by Blood only by Blood we're very we're very proud of them we're proud of them but yeah I want to ask you I want to transition to I mean there's so much talk about and we will but for for those who are parents right now those who are aspiring to be parents there's so many lessons to learn from you from your wife from what you bring to the 700 what was the number 700 and 11. 711 children that you have that there was a son that last week of uh of a grandchild from the home and uh he's his his uh the 198 grandchild children and that's bring to 712. so you are you have 712 children you know all 712 of their names you know what they're up to in life you know where they are you know you're in touch with them and then the question my real question for you is is the capacity for love Limitless how can you have 712 children and love them all you know there are people who think you have such big family you won't have enough love to give everybody is teach us about love talk to us about love as many more children that you have you love more you have space it's unlimited space and you are there for them in the second that you are there for them and that is parenting parenting is not about bringing children to the world parenting it's really about being there for them when you are there for your children to know the name it's the easiest part but really to know what's happening with them you know they asking there is a big research about how many minutes is a father is really speaking with his child a week right and the results is that if he's a good parent it's seven minutes seven minutes in a week not to bring me the keys of the car or take the car or bring me the towel or whatever no how are you what happening with you I'm really really interested about you and that's the real story so our children as I said they have fathers and mothers but they don't have parents so our goal is that our children will be incredible parents for their children but how what what what the role model that they had at home their fathers and mothers if they will be like their fathers their mothers they won't break the cycle of distress and with all the respect better it's only a children's home so how they can be incredible parents so we developed a model in bethelazaki a model that based on three-legged approach the first thing is to fulfill the children potential each human being have a potential according to the research is used in between five to seven percent of his potential that's your children allies can do but our children have to use much much more and that's why we have and private tutors that making sure that my children who wakes up every morning and going to 27 different schools will be the first one to raise their hands in class and today we are very very proud that there is a competition between schools who will have my children and in the second that he's the first one to raise his hand in class the teachers and everyone wants to be his friends and then his self-image is going up so that's the first part not only that you heard it for me already rabbi we made we found out that children who smells good the teachers are getting closer to them and we are very proud when the teacher calls me up not to tell me that the child will be is good in math or in Torah or or in other subjects but when a teacher calls me up to ask me Ruda ask your wife Ricky that we are doing everything here together what kind of softening you use in the laundry because the children have a wonderful smell and when a child have a good smell and he's the first one to raise his hand in class he's a child from a Good Hope that child is loved the child is clearly the child is getting love so 712 children you're in touch you know their names where does it end when you get to a thousand fifteen hundred two thousand is it Limitless the more years and they compound and more children you can stay in touch and you can love we never run out of love it's no limit it's no limit it's exactly like I will ask you rabbis do you know all your children names of course we know all our children names and we are there uh with them we are there with them in every second of their life and all our staff we have more than a hundred people on our staff here in in bethelazakhi that making sure that we know exactly what happened with every child every moment not only with the children's lives here with the children in the Army in every second of their life and that is Parental work to make sure that the child knows that you are with him you are with him in the kindergarten you are with him in Kita alif and when we take the children to school to Kita alif they see everyone come with Mama with Dad or with both of them and they have tears in their eyes they also want the other edema they really want other edema and we tell them don't worry we will be with you in Kita Allah we will be new with you in mother day we will be with you in your bar mitzvah and but Mitzvah we will take you to the best high school you will finish high school we will be there and we'll make incredible graduation party we will take you to the shibatas there to the makina we will take you to the Army we will be in every ceremony we have now 39th soldiers and we are there in every ceremony and we promise them in that moment and we will be there when you will finish Army we will take you to University because you remember they are very good students so you're going in we have now 28 students in universities for first degree and sixth for second degree we are there with them we pay their tuition and when doing University all right after when she meets a boy or he meets a girl whatever the other side is giving we are giving we only ask them not to meet two wealthy families because you know then it's cost of Fortune but we are there we had the honor to walk down the aisle 91 children and when they have their babies we are there because imagine your daughters when they do they coming home to their mom to understand to make the first shower to the baby this girl they don't have where to go back but we are there and everyone asks me until where yeah and until when until when Rabbi and everyone will be with their children forever parenting it's not to bring them to the world parenting is to be there for them and to make sure that they know that you are there for them I never understood why in school they say parents day it's not that parents day it's a father and mother day because apparently is a different McGregor he's every one over there who coming to parents day is sure that he's there for his child all the time and forever what what what what's the dysfunction in the homes that these children come to you meaning they're not orphans their mother and father are alive but yet they're not functional and they're not giving them love is it mental health is it physical health is it poverty what what's the type of uh what's going on that's leading these children to come to betel's Rocky mostly it's a mental problem because there is no way a child loves his father mother and a mother will take out her food from her mouth no one is coming to a children's home because of social economical problem some kind of mental problem that these fathers and mothers cannot be parents and cannot be there for their children and sometimes they even love their children but they don't know what to do and that's why they cannot be there a lot of times that brings to violence that bring to drugs that bring to alcohol that brings to terrible things that happening in the environment that the child in that if we will stay there it even will be worse not only for him uh really for all the environment how many children in Israel are are coming from homes like how many children's homes other than how many children's homes are there how many children are like are now 8 500 children in children's homes in Israel children who cannot be but one of the reasons that so many are in children's homes because a foster care system in Israel is not so big like in America in America most of the children who have really problems and cannot Children at Risk as they said they are going to foster care in Israel that the main system is is residential homes that professional people are doing the work um interesting all right Brody first of all it's great to see you Huda it's great I can't wait to see you hopefully this summer our daughter ahuva I think we're trying to plan some sort of Bob Mitzvah celebration together bringing the kids I remember all day school would go for tomorrow [Music] I mean you asked the teenagers after a week in Israel what was the highlight you went to the Dead Sea you went to Masada you went to all over the country I say betal that's it that's that's that was the highlight of the of the entire week in Israel so thank you again for for everything I'm just wondering when it comes to and also you mentioned all the weddings we should put a link because there's a video that you would have just did and we sent out of some of the recent wedding celebrations when you see Yehuda and his wife walking these these young men and women down the aisle and they're all what's amazing is that each of the children for the most part we raise our children they kind of look a little bit like us you know they're coming from the same family they they they might dress similar to us they have so many different types of children different types of keep boats no keyboard every keyboard whatever it is everyone is part of this mishpacha everyone's part of this incredible family so it's it's so inspiring just just watch the video you'll see it's hard to it's hard to paint a picture until you see it but I'm just wondering the last 50 years since 1969 when when perilous Rocky got started you have a uh you have many many children many different decades and you would think as a as a as a father so so you've learned you know after 20 30 40 50 years you become a great parent but children are probably very different 50 years ago 30 years ago 20 years ago what are some of the big differences you see right now in the children and how you have to raise them from the challenges wow this is really a story I I had a conversation with my wife not long ago if we would have to start to raise our children today how we would do it and we see the challenge of the children who are coming today to our home it's really all different it's all different because they have the same issues that our children have with uh with uh media and everything that's happening in this world but love that they have nothing to lose because the most dangerous thing by a child when he doesn't have when nothing to lose most the the story is that a child have to know that he have something to lose the children who are coming to us they have all these issues that our children having these days plus that they have their fathers and mothers in this situation and most of the things that we do it's again it's it's what would be much better in Hebrew but uh that that that the story of the children today that are coming to batalasaki they are much more different than the children that came 30 years ago because they have the same issues that our children have with all the environment and the new environment that surrounding them around but plus the problem that they have with their peoples they have nothing to lose they have nothing to lose because their parents are not there for them you know I have behind me my late father and mother picture when I wake up in the morning I'm thinking what my father would think about what I'm doing and if God forbid I want to do something wrong I'm looking up what will be and these children have nowhere to look up and the one of the things that we have to teach them it's that they have what to lose let's talk about you a little bit I know you're very modest and you don't like to talk about you but let's talk about you your wife your special family who is your inspiration where did this come from Johan schlichut you're you're representing Israel in and the Torah of Israel you're on the path of of being a mahanek of being a RAV and then this opportunity comes where did this endless boundless love from you where did this parenting and nurturing who is your inspiration where did you see it who taught you who's your role model that you're emulating until today my role models of course they are my parents my mom and dad my father came to Israel after the Holocaust he lost he lost his two children and his wife my mother lost her husband and she came to Israel after the Holocaust with her baby and she met my father over here and they went to Uruguay and they were sure that they my mom cannot have any more children and I and my sister born there as a real miracle and my father said all right we have a new generation and they decided to come back to Israel and they went to a farm and they worked hard but they always were there for me and they all were always were looking around what they can do and my father always told me when you see a need to try to be there and that's the way I started to be an educator in in uh I was a ram over there and then I was a vice principal of the school and then I went to schlichut and I was with Jewish people but really I learned from them to be there for others so uh that's my real inspiration who else other your parents are incredible people it's an extraordinary story are there others that you do you have Role Models do you remember particular neighbors do you remember was there a teacher a rebbe of yours were there other other personalities who that endless success I grew up I grew up in that yesterday was his he was my teacher he was my educator and by the way not only mine he was also a better guns that who was the Minister of Defense he was in my class we were 10 years together we are still friends but he knows that I'm not voting for him and we rakhan Brooklyn he's really really a guy that his doors was open for everyone in the world he adopted a Down syndrome child his wife was my uh pediatric they call it a doctor when I was a child and uh he really was a role model and inspiration for all of us over there was there a point where you said well after you know we have uh 50 Children 60 children that you know what maybe it's it's a it's like I don't know that we can do more did your wife say let's stop you said go did you say stop your wife said let's just keep going or you both were on the same page everyone is asking what is my capacity and I'm saying that maximum 60. so why do I have 270 because of two reasons one we don't know how to say no especially for a child who's really in need but second we see that we're still a home we are not an institution we are not in the institution we are an organization but technically our Technologies and organization but we are a real home we know exactly what a child like to eat the counselor knows exactly with what music he likes to sleep the most important minutes that the counselor should know how he likes to be wake up because this moment that he wakes up and goes to school is the most important moment how the day starts hmm so it's there's a real sense of of home you and your wife signed up for this your children I mean your biological children did not how do they feel about having to share their mother and father with 712 children to be one of to be among 712 do you ever go away just the cone family do you ever have Shabbat meals just the cone family is there are there things that you and your wife do to say all 712 are our children we take them to school we take them to the Army we walk them down the aisle but there's still a difference between the biological children and the adopted ones not only that there is no different thank God all our children are married my youngest one is 29 years old all of them are having children but when they were children it was a family decision that my wife my dear wife that we are married already 43 years she's taking care of the home of the small home and the big home but for me first thing is these children the extended family of the battleazraki children they are my children and we are taking care of them our children our private children as I call them they were waiting to come in to speak with me exactly all the other children it's very funny I'm living inside the Children's Home and they had to wait to speak with me and I really was very very worried what will be and I I can remember only one situation that my son came crying like crazy to the office and I what happened and I ran out I was in middle of a meeting he said Abba you bought new pajamas to all the children you didn't buy me so then I understood that I have to pay more attention to details but today thank God Hashem in every family of them they are doing my daughter and my daughter-in-law they gave a kidney altruistically my daughter's Midwife my daughter-in-law she's a midwife my other daughter-in-law she's a alerts in intensive care by coincidence all of them are in these things but it's not by coincidence because that's what I saw that's what they saw but when I'm going to a wedding of a child they always call me on the way and they tell me Abba say Mazel Tov to or to or or to whoever it is but don't forget to tell them that we have a part in their life exactly like you and they have a part in each child's life what do you do to relax it's 712 children it's hard to raise one child three five a big family today is six or eight children you have 712 children what do you do to relax what do you do to energize the exercise you listen to music you work at you what gives you energy the the notes from school my office is full with the notes of school if you will look at my office for a second so you will see behind me it's the children that are not married then I had a picture of my parents and me as a baby over there behind me they're giving me inspiration by the way from the three children that what came out the big picture over there this is all of them are children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren of my parents and then what really makes uh makes me very very relaxing is this wall over there I don't know if you see it it's all the married children it's each picture when I'm walking them down the aisle together with the notes from school that I have over there behind that every day it's changing all the children who brought good notes from school that's makes me relaxing but I will surprise you what makes me relaxing it's to ask myself in the end of the day and really some kind of meditation not if I was successful because if I did the right things and I'm I'm trying to think about the whole day from the morning if I did the right thing if I felt that I did the right thing at sloka it's pediation foreign yeah absolutely do the children of bait elizaraki the ones who are there now and all the 712 the the graduates are they embarrassed that they grew up in a children's home when they go off to school Yeshiva to the Army do they share you know what I grew up in beta-lisraki or is that something they keep quiet because it are they embarrassed about it every child have a different situation when you understand that his father mother cannot be there for him and he have to start to take care of his life and it's in his hand and you have a different life there are children who understand that in the bar mitzvah there are children who understand that in the age of 20 and there are children who understand that only in the age of 35. so we are there with them and because you cannot erase the past we are here to build a future so there are children who will go to school and not only that they will go to school with school uniform but they will make sure that they have the code with the battle as Rocky logo on it that everyone should know that they are from the children's home because there is a waiting list of children who wants to come to sleep here overnight exactly like by your children when they bring a friend to sleep overnight and our children also can go to sleep of course after we check what the family but there are children that it takes them time really to to to be open enough and to speak about it but until the child doesn't understand that the reason he that he's in the children's home it's not him because in the beginning every child is sure that they brought him here because he's problematic in the security understand that it's not him and as you said in the beginning Rabbi we are trying to work with the father and the mothers and our one of our biggest success when the mother comes to a child and she tells him I love you like I I cannot raise you not because of you because of me that the moment that the child will speak and will be open and feels so good but it's very difficult to bring the father the mother to this situation to tell this to a child does it get complicated you know there's an enormous expense to run such a home and you have to bring donors in Rabbi Brody talked about March of the living or Hill Day School comes to the to the campus are the children do they ever feel like we're not on display why are there strangers coming coming through is it hard how do you protect the Dignity of the children but also invite others in and and donors supporters to be able to see what's happening how do you balance that our children understand that today they are receivers and we have one goal to make them to be givers and when they understand that they understand that nothing is falling down from Shaman from the sky that good people are there for them and we speaking about it but not only that when people are coming in and seeing you and being with you that makes the home normal that makes the home normal and when we understood that guests and people who are coming here are so important in covet time children or when you ask the child in bethelazaki because it was pretty good for the children because they weren't alone there were 200 children together right so at least that we had over there even though that they were groups where they weren't allowed to mix the groups and everything but when you asked the child in covet time what are you missing said I'm missing the cast do you imagine for two years no one stepped into the hole and of course every child knows even our children when guests is coming home you get Ingress especially and knows our children know exactly how to prepare a table for gas they know exactly where to put the Fork rest and put the knife for it to put the spoon and that makes our home to a normal home and otherwise I can go to America and to schmooze about the room for morning until night that won't be and won't do a lot because so many people are coming for people to really understand and want to be a partner of what we're doing here of this success it's to bring them to see the children and to become a part of their life everybody yeah you know one of the things that they do when when we've been there and again different size groups get get different greetings obviously but even for smaller groups they're a group of children they'll come out and they'll do some performance they'll do a song they'll do something on a small stage and it really makes everyone's feel like you're part of something special you walk through the dining room it is clean it is spotless you could you could walk in unannounced you could say you're bringing a group doesn't make a difference it's always going to be perfect at all at all times of the day I'm just wondering in the world of foster care you said that Israel is very different in the way that that foster care is run versus the United States I know in our community we have jaffco which I know you you know obviously very well the the the is there more that the average person can be doing in the world of foster care besides donating and supporting organizations like this most people don't speak about it that much you know we I don't know that I would know much about it had it had had Warren not turned us on to to betel's Rocky are there a lot of kids in need what can we be doing could be volunteering time at these places or maybe just to add on to everybody's question not only just to add on because it's a great question not only to children in a children's home but children who are still living with their mother and father but lacking the parenting what can we do right that the stories always to look on your right and on your left even a child when you sit in the class look at your right and your left and see your friends you can be there for them every child can be a parent because parenting is be there for them the story is that today people are not looking to the right and to the left they're looking into their cell phones they're looking into their computers and they have to see the world the world outside there needs everyone every single one to be there for others and there are so many people who you never know what will change their life and they need this change and it's when you will see my child goes to school they dress beautifully in their Library you said now and they look incredibly and by the way only only in sogrind when you Rabbi when you said about cats cats here at day school and when you you said about the march of the living it's so important when when people are coming here for the people also to understand that nothing is for granted right my children have two shirts and two pants in their closet and they are happy right and when someone so so I'm explaining always my children that they are not only receiving when a person is coming here and this looks at them they are giving and that is really really uh so important and when you spoke about the place clean it's a big part of the education to speak with the children it's important to be there with them it's important but also to being a role model for them because in the end they will want their kitchen to be like a kitchen over here they will want their Garden to be like a guardian over here we are role models for our children how do you differentiate when you have 217 or 712 children we know there's a basic Jewish principle that we don't treat all children the same and we don't put them in a box this one needs a little bit more rigid this one a little bit more flexible this a little strict this less strict it's a little bit more the right hand is the more the left hand so we know we have to differentiate the way we parent our children it's hard enough to do that if you have two children how do you do that when you have 217 children does the home have just rules that everyone has to apply can you differentiate different rules different expectations different accountability City for different children can you can you fulfill within a home of 217. you know most of the people that's speaking about they are concentrating on the the story is not the hanoch it's not the hinook it's not to educate it's to know what is Darko in the second that you know what is darkov you can different you can you can uh differentiate differentiate the second that you know what is their call you can differentiate it by any child so what we know over here and every day it what is their call and what was Darko today I'm not sure that it will be Darko tomorrow and we have to be enough careful to see the dark code changed because hanok we are the Hana but the Darko is a very important in that part in this in this sentence that you don't have children saying how come you're more lenient with that child or they get a different bedtime or you reacted differently when they didn't put their plate away it's how do you how does one raise children with you have to know Darko but you also have to get them all to realize they they're not going to be the same is that is that difficult it is difficult and not every child is the same and we are treating we are praying all the time that we should love all the children the same and we should give them what they need but of course not every child and I'm always saying that it's okay to give this child a bit more because he did different thing and to give the other child a different thing because we are raising our children like a big family and at the family you are there in a different way to every child yes we're doing mistakes sometimes but the story is not not to do mistakes it's how to fix them and we are sitting down and fixing them you know in a family people are different and in the beta azraqi family they're different you're going to talk to us they're also different religiously so what type of children from what type of homes come to betal Zaraki do you have you know that it's your need you have are there a kilo name what is the religious background of the children and how do you manage that within the home do you have to be religious do you have to do you have to attend that Phila do you and what does it look like when they graduate the home religiously most of the children that are coming to bed tell us they are coming in Israel there is a law that the father and mother have to agree that the child go to a religious Place religious place so most of the father and mothers are saying all right you should go at least to a religious place maybe over there it will be a miracle but they're coming from a very very not religious homes and if some of them even not traditional but we are here not teaching religion we are educating religion educating is to be really a role model to be around them we decided in battle azaki with of a very well-known Rabbi in Israel that we have two shakharit one of six minutes and one of half an hour and the child is deciding where he will come he have to come or for the six minutes or for the half an hour Rabbi you see a lot of children are moving from the six minutes to half an hour yes you can see also children moving from the half an hour to the six minutes right but the stories how they raising their children and today after 33 years I can tell you how they raise their children seventy percent of our children are showing me Torah mitzvah's really mama of our graduates and they teaching their children really in in a religious environment and that is because we didn't teach them we didn't force them force them we educate them how does it work with is it hard to do the children the graduates of beta lazaraki is it harder for them to find the sharak because does the other side say I don't want a child who grew up in a children's home or do they say wow they're healthier they're better they're they're givers not just takers what's the experience with the with the graduates about elizaki in terms of trying to get married you remember that our children are very good students so they're coming to University they are the best students and then they are finding a match and they're starting to date and then the call is coming terrified I'm in a hell that's the way they call me what should I tell him how sh I will tell him about my background and everything and then they they I said look you are so smart you are so beautiful I know you you will date for three four weeks then you can tell him everything because he will know you really you will know your Insight but then when it comes to the parents of the boy that come from the normal home or the quill that come from a normal home it's not easy but we are really really there for them but someone asked me this question what's the story with your children how your children are getting married so easily and we'll work Hashem incredible him in from all kinds of places and I asked him who's the father of your child says what do you mean what are you asking of course I am the father I said then who's the father of my child ah and and that's that's really the story but but not uh it's it's pretty long ago I had uh a girl that it was very difficult for the boy parents really to have this girl why my child needed a girl from a children's home etc etc and then not long ago she called me it's after three ten years the mother of the boy and she calls me and I look and I see on on my cell phone her number and what does she want what happened and she told me she had I have four Sons four daughter-in-laws yours is the best yeah that's great amazing what a great place to leave it reviewed thank you for your time there's so much more to talk about the Seminary the summer program why cater to Americans the binochet route are they are they trained there's so much more to talk about but thank you because should continue to give you the strength and the energy and the Limitless love and continue to teach all of us by Example The Amazing work that you're doing a beta luzaki thank you so much for giving us your time thank you so so much Rabbi Brody what's your takeaway what'd you think your who to Cone amazing I made very inspiring you know it makes me think also you know I struggle with the raising six kids what should I do to help more kids you know maybe there's more power you think six is a challenge ten might be even uh there's more opportunities there's more we can do we're not all going to be the father of a huge children's home but you know like you just said we all have access and interaction with children who need a little more love they're showing our own and our neighbors and in school and our to encourage our children to see that and feel that and there's so many lessons to extract from that conversation about the capacity for love about about the way we present ourselves um about going from being a taker to a giver um so many things that come out of that and and hopefully we'll all be stimulated to be even better parents and even better and make an even bigger difference in the world everybody wherever you are on the land in the sea in the air wherever you are hope you're enjoying Yeshiva weekend and wishing all those week safe travels and safe Journeys and they they stay healthy stay happy and stay holy