#18: Behind the Bima - Special Guest: Rav Judah Mischel

okay somebody tell me whether we actually appear on facebook or not yeah we're live live on facebook yes streaming you're live you're live it's a beautiful thing let's press record welcome back ladies and gentlemen it's wednesday night 9 p.m i am rabbi from goldberg joined together with my dear friends and colleagues at rabbi phillip moscow it's owned by josh brody and we are here to take you behind the bima the bema gentlemen this is episode 18 at what point do you go season one episode one season one episode 18. when do you become season two i feel like we're you know we've been as manam we took off two weeks we had tish above we had another conflict last week we're back so maybe maybe this is season two episode one or is this season one episode eighteen which way i feel like the um no rhyme spray sp breaks it up a little bit that's when you go from season one to season two come back fun okay so we're going all the way this is still season one we'll in five years we'll be like season one episode 420 let's thank our sponsors for tonight tonight's episode of don the beam is generously sponsored anonymously and this is yet another great anonymous sponsor because i know who they are they don't live in boca and nothing makes us happier when people join the brs movement we're not a shul we're not a synagogue we don't have a synagogue membership we are a movement and tonight's sponsors are dear friends of ours who are sponsored in honor of the brs rabbis and our quest to seek unity and not uniformity which we could speak about for hours that is our slogan that is our motto unity not uniformity unity demands diversity you know rabbi steinsault's just passed away so i'll i'll tell a story when rebechan's out spoken boca and brs a couple years ago several years ago uh it was in someone's home and before the event began he was preparing himself a cup of coffee first i was such a humble man there was no he just came humble sweet smart he was making himself a cup of coffee and i'll never forget he was stirring his coffee and he looked at me and he said tell me rabbi goldberg what's special about your community what's the hallmark of boca of brs write a great question so there's no better question for me that's like an alley-oop i launched right into my valuing diversity and celebrating unity and i launched right into my whole shtick who would you believe in the whole thing i didn't have the powerpoint on me maybe before powerpoint um anyway i finish and he looks up from his coffee and he says to me of course you have diversity if you had unity if you don't have diversity you don't have unity you have uniformity i was like wow that's why you are brilliant and i am and i may so in one second he cut right to the chase and it was a brilliant insight profoundly brilliant in order to have unity you have to have diversity if you don't have diversity on unity you have uniformity so our sponsors tonight get that that's who we are what we're about we love our community with it's a tremendous range of diversity it's one of the things i miss the most in this uh semi shutdown that we're still in the pandemic is not seeing that range of diversity connecting being enriched and really growing from from encountering people not similar but who are different than us tell you or else i feel it with people moving into the community this summer as people move in and i say oh my the community is amazing i can't wait for you to to see the programs the learning opportunities the members and then i realized they're not getting any of that right if you're moving in now and you're an availia or you're in a new house you're really limited in what you're seeing and experience from the community and it's sad you know i can't wait for them to feel the magic of brs a little bit i think that's part of part of the challenge is also there's a lot of people that are contacting us you know like always and they want to get in touch with programs the question is do you put them in touch right now and give them a taste with a virtual program or do you say you know what it's not we're not we're not back to where we want to be just wait just wait and see but then they're not getting anything and it's really also you don't want to over promise and under deliver so you know on the one hand you don't want to describe a reality who knows when we'll be there again but i don't think we have to sell ourselves too hard because if people have moved in and they've moved in during this time obviously or hopefully they're moving to something so we just have to continue to try to provide the magic that um invites people who don't even live in boca to join the movement and to be willing to sponsor behind the beam so it's good to be back boys we we've been off for two weeks i just think you know there was there was an email that went around today someone moved into the community so you know you called her i think so i figured you know let me just call and introduce myself the feeling that i got when i called was like it's so strange that a rabbi would call to welcome me like why why are you doing this oh look who's here unbelievable of judah he's connecting to audio he's connecting that's sort of oh he's not connecting i think he was texting make sure he could come back he's teasing us but judah michelle the great of judah michelle will be back shortly our special guest tonight and no better way to come back so i'll tell you um you know it was really nice i got a few messages during this two-week hiatus one tissue obviously we weren't gonna broadcast on tish above and the other um we had a conflict unable to broadcast last week um and and i had several messages of people who said please don't tell me that behind the beam is done please don't tell me that because the world is starting to begin to think about maybe opening up that means that behind the beam was over so that was really nice to hear now we're just gearing up for season two that's you gotta tell them well i'd like to make a lachaim to why we had to miss last week obviously the goldberg celebrated a beautiful wedding of their daughter atara and uh it was really uh obviously it was painful for us i know rabbi brodie and i were talking from afar but it was hard not to be there to celebrate with you to give you a hug in person so instead i'd like to make a lachaim with you to uh to tara and kalev to the newlyweds to the parents an entire family everyone in good health and happiness for many many years to come and the truth is not that i i've gone dry but i am broadcasting from fayetteville north carolina on our way home so break into them have access to a lachlan oh man thank you very much we missed everyone too and was a simcha i want to bless everyone that we should all only celebrate sunrise in any time in any way hopefully we can be there but even if we can't we know that our hearts are with one another and we should all be blessed to be able to celebrate sinfuls all those who are longing and looking to be married to have children to celebrate bar mitzvahs all the simplest in the world hashem should shower us with chef abraham we should just have simcha after after how are things up north things of north are radically different than down south i think it's actually complicated much is radically different in reality meaning the data and the facts on the ground and what phase that they're up to is radically different some of it's radically different just in behavior people who are not following the protocols or the way things should be but in any case it really brought to me an awareness like the first two weeks we were up there we were quarantined when i say quarantine i mean lockdown i didn't dive in with a minion you know we were gonna we were gonna put it out there as uh you know to raise money for the shul for torah that that you can get a glimpse into a little reality show called 11 people 14 days one house but hashem we all grew closer and we created memories that will last a lifetime from it um so 14 days we didn't see anything that was going on outside nothing so um and then and then we started to see what was going on so in fact the first day i was out of quarantine i was out with a mask with my children trying to pick up food in a plaza that i don't think anyone else is wearing a mask when someone else in the mask came up to me it was david lichtenstein who was a great time of hachem great philanthropist the the host of headlines and he came up to me he recognized me we had spoken before i'd never met him in person we had a conversation about masks and how people behave and meanwhile i was talking to him and this young yeshiva guy walks up to us but you to listen to the story it's amazing and then we'll introduce you and welcome you so this young guy walks up and he says wow look at this and he takes out his phone he holds it up and he says look at my podcast player and he shows that the top two podcasts he listens to are behind the bema and headlines headlines that's great and by the way i'll tell you it was in that order the truth is he had a third podcast he listens to and uh yesterday two days ago i was interviewed on that podcast while i was in new york i won't say which one it is when they come out with it they'll come out with it and the truth is he had three podcasts he listens to that other one it was number one behind the beam of number two and headlines was number three so that was that was really great ravjuda michelle is with us our special guest tonight rav judah thank you for coming back my holy brother it is so good to have you for those who don't know and who doesn't know of judah michelle these days thanks to magazine and others who have made him a celebrity in the jewish world rav judah michelle is the executive director of camp hask the hebrew academy for special children he is a mashbiya of ncsy which we'll ask him to define for us founder of tsamonashi an organization dedicated to fostering jewish education and inspiration an educational consultant to the orthodox union so much more lives in ramap chemist with his wonderful wife and family children beautiful family and uh but most of all i think we've all known rajuta for many years before that beard was that length before that beard was that color any of our beards were that color we go uh we go way back high school right of judah oh you you ran the senior minion you knew i was going there yeah i mean why wait why wait you just you didn't know if it was gonna be the first sentence in the last sentence you knew i was going there i mean you know i was working in angle i was doing my establish making my appropriate efforts as a ninth grade boy and frish from muncie and you wanted me to go to and now we're here and now what was you you were in ninth grade i was in 12th are we four years apart i think so i think by 12th grade i had found myself i had started to actually care about going to minion and that qualified me to be in charge of trying to drink others two million that was in itself enough the fact that i made it to minion qualified to be in charge of making sure ninth graders make a dominion there's a difference between like what making sure that others go to minion and being interested in ourselves i mean that's that was yes that that is for sure so we go we go way back and it's really great to have you on thank you inspiration so tell us what's going on you're in america right now i'm in america i'm actually uh i'm actually off campus i'm using i've been upstate uh at camp pask for the summer but uh down down in the city for uh staying at our friend of gerber's tonight uh beautiful tomorrow morning tell us yeah so robert brody's asking tell us about camp what's the story camp is on it's off it's modified how's it happening yes all the yes all the above d all of the above it's uh um it's actually it's a miracle that uh they were able to do something um thank god you know on a regular summer we're providing services for 330 to 350 families kids with special needs intellectual disabilities um and we have about you know 550 staffers so we're at 15 this year um we're at a 15 uh capacity um running a day camp program that's what uh that's what's allowed by the department of health uh so we have families who are upstate new york who are local we have some kids who are coming up from from muncie and from you know the local environs and just recently just last week started also being able to accept some some some campers or some some residents as sleepover guests in our uh residence facility um you know it's a it's a challenge it's a it's a it's a big challenge it's a summer of the audible summer of contingency for everybody in the whole world and and campus is no different but uh able to do something so i came to camp pasco with my family for a shop a couple summers ago um i never worked at camp hask my wife did and my daughter did and i'll tell you i think it's a large part of what makes my wife the outstanding mother that she is i think the people who worked at camp ask they they know rest at another level they know selflessness at literally another level than other people and i get criticized for saying the word literally too much but i meant literally there literally another level um so can you talk to us about that you know i left that shabbos i wrote a whole article about it because i was just so moved i was blown away i was so inspired and and i heard the counselors themselves described how transformative it was who do you think gets more out of camp pass the campers or the staff members that's a great question i mean it's it's it's the story of all of our lives anybody who's a giver anybody who self-identifies as a helper and who strives to be someone who's part of the solution so to speak in any situation you know beyond the palindrome of of giving there's uh the our own would carry those who sought to carry it and um anyone who's in service of others knows this that uh the more we give the more the more we receive um and it's a privilege to be in service of others there's there's no greater power there's no greater connectivity that's generated in the world there's no greater divine presence than that which is you know created by two people working together and you know it doesn't take long it doesn't take long to recognize that this is beyond hesed it's it's more you know i'd say even beyond aravas there's there's something here which is a which is um the magical connection between two people uh who are in service you know someone who's in service and and uh there's no i mean there's there's no question there's no question you have parents who are benefiting from respite you have children and young adults who are benefiting from therapeutic service and medical services and lots of love um and and and and as in every situation in our lives the more we give the more we grow uh so i think it's pretty pretty clear it's that those of us who are you know officially the ones who are on the givers are uh are receiving so much more and that's always the case amazing special shout out to brs member shaina cascalo i think is the only bokeh we owe if we often have a lot of boca people work at house but i think this summer she's the only one who's able to make it there so special shout out to her we're we're very proud of that it's really amazing do you have a story that stands out of of um one of the staff members who really changed and that job as i was there i remember staff member telling me that they had always been very impatient in their life and you know when you've got a camper and you're trying to get them to the dining room or the next activity but because of their challenge their disability it takes forever to get there you learn patience you learn patience really quickly and he described that from the beginning of the summer to the end of the summer he was a different person he had broken a bad media he had worked on himself in a way that years and years in a base measure elsewhere he couldn't have so is there a story or someone that stands out to you that you've seen that happen that magic there's so many moments it's it's it's funny you know how these things are like we focus on the miracle moments on the yamsuf moments on the uh matantora moments on the burning bush and the the you know the profit filling the vessels with oil moments that are revealed and that are obvious but it's it's a regular tuesday afternoon at lunch when a 19 year old guy uh sits down to eat lunch hungry and cuts a piece of pizza um into small pieces and feeds his camper before he puts in his own mouth which is the biggest pellet and i mean that's that that that's the wildest story it's the moment to moments you know taking someone back to the bunk to the restroom you know to clean them and uh and just living with covered habrios so to speak and and and polishing you know god's diamonds in the world in a natural way you know on the way to the pool changing and then changing out after the pool um those are like the most awesome the most awesome moments when things are you know clicking and you're just watching the watching it happen um there was actually there was there was but one of those yamaso type moments there was um it was the the first night of camp usually like you hide out i could try not to be seen too much thank god we have exceptional staff exceptional program director and have counselors and an amazing system of support and uh i have the luxury of kind of just like sitting and like watching from afar hoping like everything you know just like say stay back and say tickle clowly and hope that everything goes you know and uh it was our director of staff development and clinical research dr benji epstein was out on the lawn you know doing his thing talking to people and there was a counselor who said this guy's not going to make it he's out like he wants out already this is a the russia shiva pushed him to go you know he said if you want to come back on a bet you have to work there and he had the social pressure you know to be a part of this and he showed up and he's just like i think the exact quote was i'm not down for this like this is not no it's not happening and you know i think benji walked him through it a little bit we have an orientation i mean you know dr shalamus pollock and avi pollock so they you know frame things very beautifully right um and i think he said like you have just give it a shot i mean you're here you can't leave on the first day you'll be you'll be the biggest loser i mean you have to you've got to stick this out give it a couple days well we can try to make up a story or something you know a great uncle somewhere i don't know whatever you know you're drafted i conscripted something they needed you i don't know you know something give it a shot um and he's like i can't i can't sleep in the bunk it's too crazy i don't know what to do with these kids i have no experience this is not he's panicking and um that night literally that was this is early in the afternoon late that night walking back to you know my place and everybody kind of staff kind of settling in his camper wouldn't like wouldn't go to sleep was having a hard time adjusting first night you know kids get home sick people with special needs get homesick too i mean we all have special needs and you know people intellectual disabilities also miss their parents and also don't want to sleep in the bunk the first night and this counselor just spent the whole time with him sitting outside in a bench and when it came when the kid started falling asleep he he laid down on on the bench and the council went in and got his blanket and pillow and covered him on the bench right outside the bunk and the lawn on the front and spent the entire night outside of him under the stars the first night of camp you know totally in service totally mavato himself to the to to what was needed and uh that was it you know that was it it was kona alomo he he bought in and he broke he just broke that fear he leaned right into it and uh in one night he was uh you know he was in the army uh is it amazing is it a wild thing the wild thing what we're capable of doing when when we're put in situations of responsibility and acharyas when somebody actually expects something of us and you can't you can't be selfish you can't be lazy you have to ju like it's in your hands it's an amazing thing what uh what people are capable of doing it's amazing judah first of all it's so great to have you on thank you and we also go way back through your brother and uh while you were dodging rabbi goldberg i was dodging your brother when he got back from israel was trying to get me to learn i was still in high school and uh thank god we've all come a long way i want to take that last idea you spoke about how so many people focus on the kriyas yamsuf moments the moments that are big and that capture headlines and that we usually think about as heroic moments in life but as you spoke about the beauty of hask is that that's not how you abuse that's not how you view success it's those small things the everyday the mundane trivial acts that a person does on behalf of another person that creates that kedusha so i've never been to ask i didn't go as a counselor i've never been uh yet but uh how do you take that magic that idea that concept and drill it down for those who aren't in ask for balabaten people like me who are just trying to grow and become a better bentora how do you take that idea of finding kedusha not in those big moments but in everyday life that we can instead of viewing ourselves as unsuccessful view ourselves as successful and you know what if i'm on a website and i don't look at the image that's a that's that's heroism that's amazing that's successful and if i take an apple and i make a bracha with kavanagh that's also kadusa so how do you take the magic of hass the lessons that you just described and boil it down for someone who isn't at ask who's living a life of just trying to be a better person and grow a little bit in their relationship with hashem that's a great question like all of us like all of us like all of us we talk a lot in camp about how you know 1967 was the summer of love we don't want you know 19 you know 2019 2020 the summer and that you don't really get a badge of honor if you treat an individual with down syndrome or autism with respect and kindness you're just you're not an axa you're not you're not you're like you know you're not not cruel uh and that the real challenge is is not to see them as a let's call it of mitzvah not to see them as an object for which we can work on ourselves and refine ourselves like a like an s-rogue or uh you know a pair of to fill in but to view a person as a person and that's really the key is for us to see ourselves and everyone around us through the lens of of kindness and humility and to have rachmanis on ourselves and others there's a this week's question we say the more of a shemesh um the columbus calm and episode of the palmetto of the male 1 it says take a look just just open your eyes he said open your eyes at every moment in every place and every person in every experience in the board room and in the bedroom and in shul and not in shul and wherever we go and anything that we do a open up your eyes and see that there's a choice that there's an opportunity a brother or a caller you could be someone who's a giver it could be someone who has to take you we could be somebody who's you know selfish or someone who's selfless we have moments where we can when we can choose there's that space there that that that that pause that moment when we encounter uh you know getting coming out of the supermarket you see somebody you know maybe holding a kid trying to load their car with their packages we could just kind of like grab our phone and pretend we didn't see or you know go over and offer a hand or um you know walking down the street you know you see somebody who looks down you know looks kind of sad or forlorn you haven't seen them in a while uh and you can you know smile and extend ourselves take the risk so to speak or just continue on our way hey first things first just take a look there's an opportunity in everything for uh for positive engagement or or for negative engagement some clone of this column and says the marvelous number says first things first just recognize that every single one of us is pac carrying the power of annohi of his who sort of speak manifesting himself through us you know are that that are that we ourselves you know is acting in the world through us and that we're that we are a chip off of a divine block and cut from divine cloth and that hashem believes in us and is expecting of us to choose the truth being like to know that we you know and to be a counselor in camp ask is the most noble and wonderful thing in the world and i was never a counselor on campus either i never thought of it it wasn't on my list of top 100 things to do during the summer and until you know i dated aura didn't really hear so much about it you know a little bit a couple friends here and there but you know and and you could be a decent human being and a caring human being a sense of human being and a giver and selfless and you can be in the army of light without ever having worked in camp pass or camp sinister or kaylee or yasha or friendship circle you're gonna have to relegate being a giver and a helper to a specific time and place in a specific program and it's wonderful to have the the merch and the swag is very clustered it's uh hashem when you walk you see people walking down the street identifying as people who are proud of of helping others but for for us you know everybody in their own lives in their own home we have to be ray anoki hashem is counting on me hashem believes that i can make a choice here and choose to be someone who's making the world a better place do you think we do a good enough job and you you see people once they're let's say around the stage of either going to israel or coming back from israel do you think before that we do a good enough job in our communities of instilling that notion drilling it into people that even in the smallest most mundane trivial actions every single day you can achieve that level of godless that you were talking about that level of greatness do we do a good enough job of that no i mean it's it's the language is changing in the world for sure people are talking like that much more the language of of the balsams expansive way of seeing divine engagement the beholder is definitely changing i mean you know hopefully the the way that we're that we're framing um opportunities for kedusha and opportunities for rookies for and becoming a little bit more expansive and inclusive in the world you know although the bhagasmius if you want to call it being involved in the world it used to be that like you think that doing doing god means going to school and doing froome means learning torah and keeping mitzvos but um you know in that way of seeing the world it's kind of like we've locked away hashem in certain times and places we've kind of put god relegated the religious experience at certain times you know um and it's definitely starting the world is starting to shift more in the direction of um of talking about hashem more you hear people talking about hashem more you're people talking more about opportunities to like you know find meaningful experiences and work and meaningful experience and relationships i don't know it wasn't so long i don't remember hearing like people weren't talking about this you know weinberger was talking about an ezra academy we had those tapes but um you know the language of the generation is getting closer and closer to that uh that doctrine so let me let me ask you let me let me follow but let me follow from exactly that question i want to ask you you know again when you and i went in high school it's not just whatever level of intensity or inspiration that we had um that language wasn't even available it wasn't accessible that that entire vocabulary wasn't something that was employed or used and and i think we've both been drawn to it um me perhaps a little bit more recently and you a little bit longer a little bit more expert um but whether it's the length of your beard or the language you talk you know i myself have been drawn of late i'm coming back now having spent some time in the new york area for this for the simcha and i was by the ribbon cereba for davening the night before the wedding and all of the rebbe and i went to this fair ever while i was there and that whole forget just the rebels but the whole language um even if it's not the outer guard but that inner feeling that we all are looking towards right now so take us behind the bema what in your life between when we were in high school together and the length of that beard right now which i'm not fixated or just envious of your beard but as a symbol of a commitment to a hasidis or what we call neochasidas what happened in your life what was that change and what what what's which flipped and when it did how did you know or how did you decide what to do with it where did you go to learn study who were you exposed to who'd you turn to where'd you pick up that vocabulary and then the second question which i'm going to throw two things at you is even as i heard you describe that hashem is not only in the basement is not only in the shul some of the pushback against the neo hasidis of which whether you signed it up for it or not but you are one of the faces and spokespeople of it some of the pushback is you know the the proponents of nia hasidis we don't see them giving gamarshirum or khaburos in london's or so you know aren't these other things isn't panimya satora and isn't that near isn't that isn't that dessert it's not icing on the cake isn't that something which is the side dish isn't the main dish you know the classic total learning and the classic and so on and so forth so um are there people who have it all why does it feel like the community is is segmented and to those who speak only you know reprim and shimon's those who are speaking bashem but what about people who have shirum of both up and they're going viral for offering shir among both segments of what we're doing uh yeah so i guess there's a couple is our time up is our time [Laughter] want to thank our anonymous sponsor once again did we mention shaina cascala's like i'm not an expert in anything other than like i don't know like be like trying i got i'm not like i feel like very much still trying to figure this out and um i i guess a lot of times when we find our comfort zone in in jewish life and living and philosophy or you know deos whatever approach a lot of it has to do with like our personality and we kind of you know you know the moment like if we follow our intuition and our heart in a natural way to often find like people who end up in those specific boxes or trapezoids it's usually like the target was painted on the wall you know like we hit the wall and then you kind of paint the target around it at least that's what i found with myself getting out of a certain personality you know enjoy people and feel connected to very experiential yiddish kite and and and also you know like always i don't know my father's an animal isn't was a financial analyst and i was an english teacher so narrative and characters and plot and for my father you know like seeing systems whatever um and it's i that that's what i hit first my parents came in the door uh to orthodoxy and observance and even though that wasn't part of like our day-to-day experience there was definitely that surrounding respect and love uh for the language of lubavitch uh the language of alvas israel the language of inclusion the language of empowerment of gonyakov of jewish pride music yeah i love music uh i love i love the part i love to hang out i love hanging out with fevra and i love music and i love a good time and you know that kind of like pivoted in the dreams like looking for where that experience is um and found it experientially in in in the way in the way the city community sometimes where they were expressing yiddish guys on the other hand i also i love learning and in recent years have fallen in love with torah in a different way than i did even when i was learning for smith when i did during those years of learning yeshiva and why you and xiao vim you know i spent ten years in reishi with my brothers-in-law um and the way that they taught torah and the way that they had an expansive and very holistic way of learning and teaching was inspiring i grew that was probably institutionally the most was the most impacted um and saw that you could hold cups so to speak in different uh and have a lay a foot in different places at the same time um also being someone comes from a very open tolerant and liberal home i had the opportunity to kind of like enjoy the smorgasbord and draw from here and draw from there and never saw it as being something which was contradictory um you know i i when it comes to like you know i the halachic man was an important book in my life meaning i you know when i our first date my wife was talking about like many of the most important influences man i started panicking i'm like oh my god i read that i went to hawaii library the next day i took it out and dove right in and uh you know i was learning at the time in the morning that was my halacha seder in the morning but i i don't know i feel like you could also be like a cute man you don't have to be one or the other anymore i can't really afford these days to be one of the other as to why there are some people who are more naturally in the space of speaking one language and others who are speaking another language a lot of it is personality a lot of it is is is passion a lot of it is you know just i i think it's a positive thing even i was like leibowitz is my uh is my gamar and the llamad is my halacha rebbie and i can't i don't know how many zillions of tapes or weinberger shirt am i listening to in the in in the 90s and early 2000s that like just shape the collective awareness and my own rebbe that i have at rebbe now i feel like all these streams are kind of coming together i don't feel pressure to like have find the complete package one person but quality strail is the complete package and and in these days like the world was our base mattress the whole world is open to us we can draw from different places and different voices and have different stages and different things that that that uh you know we include in our in our spiritual diet so i'm still trying to figure it out and still trying to work through it so maybe it's fair to say that just like in the medical field you have people who have general knowledge of medicine but you have specialists so in torah that you have and the specialists also have an awareness of and are dedicated to the other areas but they remain specialists in their particular field and maybe we have that too it's a beautiful way it's a beautiful way of putting it it's a beautiful it's a beautiful effect we're running out of time and we greatly appreciate you being with us or by brody or should i say rav josh do you uh you have a follow-up of josh yeah just had a quick question first of all tremendous icarus atove to you and to camp hask our daughter ayala matt jake yeah cam hask by the way uh very special place and also my wife went there i have to say that because you know i did not go um maybe one day there's a special club of guys whose wives went to camp house exactly yeah no it's us here like you know for sure there's no question well we benefit the most from the whole thing yeah i'm just wondering you know you grew up you said your family was came in through chabad what's the real difference would you say between which is so integrated into many mainstream jewish communities now and neochassis which is more modern orthodox based is there is the same traditional affiliation meaning like like my parents never got it never connected to khabad and it was like the influence of the lives and the empowerment to be involved in torah mitzvos and the opportunities they were enabled they never joined the movement they never put on the clothing and never bought the membership and never joined the schools and it was never that it was just the general language of like you know like mentioned so i think for those of us who are coming from a more modern background i mean it's it's the perfect storm of openness and of intellectual honesty hopefully and intellectual curiosity and the ability to hold us meaning like we're okay with recognizing that people see the world differently like dialectic is something that we're trained with intellectually hopefully as we as we grow up so that we're able to hold contradiction we're able to hold different perspectives and respect them and and integrate it into our lives i mean it's not the whole narrative of modern orthodoxy you know to be able to you know draw from and balance kind of different disciplines and see it all within the context of you know arts novado of rebona shalom so it's not i don't see it as anything which is extraordinary or contradictory it seems very natural meaning like being able to appreciate and respect everyone and everything in the world as a reflection of some element of the of the infinite god is the way we were i mean the way we're trained is the way it's supposed to be yeah i'm sorry no no it's okay i wanted to thank you again so much for joining us sharing your light your inspiration with us one last question on your way out one last question behind the bema so i've just been zocha i just merited to um to celebrate a second wedding two for two on the rishi boys so um you married the daughter of a rabbi who at the time was a rabbi i think of the largest shul largest in israel in the country at the time what advice would you say to a young man who's marrying into a rabbinic family if you were talking to one of the two rich boys my son's in law what would you tell them what's most important wow i always have always first will always have a good work prepared that's uh listen to their mother-in-law yeah no i i i don't know i i you would hope that i mean i know you and we've spoken about this is that is is is the challenge of you know if we get behind the bema it's behind the door of the of the dining room when you come home to be able to take off the public persona which is appropriate and demanded and necessary you know and important and that people are counting on and need and be able to like change the parts of and kind of you know go to dad mode or going to father-in-law mode so i think for the for for a son-in-law i know you know i'm a proud son of a rabbi and married to a very proud daughter of a you know who loves and respects her her parents and and and their accomplishments um i know i think as much as possible to just to be natural you know to to not buy into the you know the the public side of it as much it's not you know i don't know he's not going to be impressed anyway as my rebbe told him i really said his son-in-law when he came in everybody knows kotorikula meaning like he got this son-in-law and someone was all excited and and the shepherd and the offer the vark and the uff roof they talked about this kid's myla's how great he was how big he was in learning his avodah his era all the things chevy brought because they talked about how great this guy was and the night that chevrolet has ended mary pulled them aside and said i just want to tell you one thing i don't expect anything for you i'm hold of you i don't need anything from you take my daughter and have a happy life come here for shabbos when you want don't come to my shul come to my school sit next to me don't sit next to me i i'm not you know make your make your life and and do your thing so to speak no i i'm interested she you're she belongs to you and you belong to her and like don't you know so i'd say first of all there is a pressure you know there's a pressure listen i i didn't just marry the daughter of a rabbi like i went to work for my in-laws meaning like my i was a couple years and then we moved to israel and i worked for my in-laws and with them and um you know there's definitely definitely a there's definitely a big shadow there's definitely a big shadow and i think that the the best the best advice is just be really really really really really good to your wife and really really and really take care of take care of that home and be a mensch man and don't make the mistakes i did at the beginning and listen to your wife azo is on bala every kiva said a kosher woman is mixed with its own bala you know it does its own bala everybody thinks that means like she follows her husband right he likes to say that osa ratzon bala means that any of the good things that a man achieves anything any any accomplishments that a person has is because his wife wakes up his with sonos his desire and yearning so just be appreciative and be thankful and uh and clear and clear the table and don't leave your shoes in the dining room floor and thank your mother-in-law and offer to pick up the cleaners and all that stuff you know all good advice all good advice continue to continue to light the world on fire send our love at a camp pass spread the light from there to the whole world such a magical magical place and uh keep being you thanks for your friendship thanks for coming in tonight right send my love to your parents i had herring for the first time at the michelle house and i've never looked back so yeah see experience experience your dad definitely gave me an experience that i know yeah your dad definitely gave me an experience no it was i'm sure you had no choice in the matter there was no choice involved in it you went toshkama you came home you had scotch herring and nuts and then you passed out on the couch until lunch it was great it's amazing yeah sounds like a good sounds like a good experience to me thank you so much we look forward to having you back on again have a good show everybody thank you thank you thank you thank you great actually the first time his dad ever gave me herring i i never had in my life it was the most disgusting thing i'd ever tasted in my life so i filed it away in the top of my cheek and then like i just you know sat there and smiling and then i excused myself to the bathroom never never never made it down the pipe but uh made up for it since so we i was gonna tell him we got a lot more to talk about but i just i'll say this about judas that what's amazing about him is he he's the real deal and he's the same person offline online behind the scenes behind the beam in front of the bema he's just he's a great guy and he's the real deal and i there's certain people that when you're around they bring out something that's good in you and they you feel like they light you on fire and i always feel more excited more passionate when when we're hanging around with her judaism just a very real person very intellectually honest not trying to wow you right he just he's he's a real person he had a line there which i love i'm going to use it again he said i'm not an expert in anything i'm an expert in trying i love that line i'm an expert aren't that we're all doing that right we're not we're all experts in trying to be better of the hashem better spouses better parents better children i'm an actor i'm trying sometimes i get it sometimes i don't but i'm i really try hard josh what's your story i'm gonna tell you i was going to tell them a story i remember remy fran told us about the three most impressive schmas that he ever heard maybe it was at a chakras or at a marv you know one was the cm hashas i was going to say the other one was at camp hask would i remember him telling us but then i was like maybe it was camp simran story it was can't ask i remember it was can't ask right it was can't ask it was can't pass yeah now there's something extraordinary that goes on there and i see you see otherwise really spoiled entitled young people and i'm not knocking anyone in particular it's just a phenomenon of the generation and it's like a little cocoon a little window it's a little space where they escape that trend and they realize something true about themselves and i and i don't know whether there's been any study longitudinal study or whatever of of camp asked staff members further on in life somehow how you can measure the type of parents they are givers how involved they are and sit in the community and it's a chicken and an egg right i don't know maybe they had that predisposition that i said before they were supposed to ask or maybe they learned it and cultivated at hask but they're definitely something special and we're all beneficiaries of it because um because of our wives children who work there and and it's contagious it's really great it's really special so um there's a lot more to talk about very little time left first of all it's a it's a sad week to me because in their primaries rashida taleb ilan omar won and i i don't i actually in my diamond and yes hashem like you know the people who are just against everything we believe in everything we're working for who are trying to extinguish the light and and i don't we're not getting involved in politics although behind the bema is not a 501c3 so we can endorse on here we're not representing booker's own synagogue but we don't endorse we know we're a political uh show um but this isn't politics i mean ilana omar is is a blatant anti-semite we don't have to review her record of anti-semitism i'll just say this when i saw that she won was it yesterday when i saw that she won i just said to myself in 2020 how how would a an african-american feel how how would marvel feel seeing a racist reelected in their district ilana omar's record is clear it's clear and her opponent an african-american democratic opponent made very clear her record about israel because he's actually very loyal to israel so there was no there's no innuendo and there's no nuance here her record's clear and yet enough people voted that she's been not re-elected but she's been at least she won the primary which means she's going to be re-elected so you know again stephen king was re-elected many many times congressman king has re-elected many times even though he's a racist and he shouldn't have been but he would never get reelected in 2020. so how can an anti-semite get re-elected in 2020 why is hating the jew something still acceptable or tolerable that someone could be you could have a whole team of elected officials who apparently came out today very triumphant and proud that they won their primaries and and see that as a further endorsement of who they are on their agenda that was really sad and depressing to me yeah and it was also just it was a frustration about the pro-israel community in general i mean obviously you know we know many of our members that were very involved in raising money for for the candidates in those races and um you know you want to believe the hype sometimes when they say that the jews run politics and the jews run sometimes you want to believe then you want to hope that if there is someone who's so blatantly anti-semitic that that we'll have enough funds and enough power and enough wherewithal to be able to defeat that purpose person and when we're not able to do that so it is uh it is a it is a mirror to our faces as a community of what we can do what we can be doing should we have done more to really to to combat this stuff and really get off the sidelines and get involved in this stuff and where's the failures the failure of educating in those districts are they not educated about why these things matter um i think i think a lot of like you just said the pros are community poured a lot of money and to educate so do we just you know how do we understand it how do we understand that as religious jews everything that happens is the will of hashem so somehow hashem still wants us to have maybe there's the elected officials that we deserve so i think even hashgraphically or within our jewish philosophy trying to understand why these things happen it's just to me it's it's kind of depressing it was really upsetting it was hard it was hard we got an email from from some of our pro-israel friends trying to spin it and couch it and but uh but you're right it was a very frustrating a very disappointing week to watch the news and the primaries and the news coming out there was a defeat and it was defeating it was deflating it really was it was um you think a friend of ours now that the policy conference isn't happening this year people are just kind of unplugged a little bit um it's a good question i think apac is gonna have to find other ways that that people can express their pro-israel advocacy and make that difference whatever you think of um joe biden's vice presidential pick and of course we're apolitical we don't comment but i was happy to see this as someone who j street has never endorsed and someone who stayed true and loyal to aipac even in the last policy conference this past march when she couldn't appear but made very clear and posted online that she's apac all the way so i was i was happy to see that and so relieved to see that again not commenting on the bigger picture but only on that particular particular point um colleague of ours put out an article this week which i thought was really interesting and really well said um rabbi jonathan muscat jonathan moscat is a friend and a colleague in oceanside he put an article that was titled be a stakeholder not a customer of our shules and yeshiva day schools i would just tweak it to say be a stakeholder not a consumer and basically in this article um he succinctly communicates and articulates something that we've been thinking about you kind of went off on this on tish above during kinos but you know there's a lot and a positive sense went off on it at least i thought it was delayed i was delirious he doesn't remember i did not find your best yeah you were unplugged so um you know there are a lot of people when they're deciding whether they're going to continue to send their children to jewish day school right now which is complicated very complicated if it's only going to be online if it's in person with masks all the policies be will one get their money's worth very complicated and i'm not suggesting or trying to oversimplify it in any way it's complicated and others who we know are going to say well do i really need to join membership control do i need to renew my my pledge even beyond membership i can't really attend i can't get out of it what i'm used to so his point of the article is that whole mentality is as a consumer as a customer so if you're a consumer if you're like hey comcast i'm not getting the bandwidth of my wi-fi cut down the price hey whoever else i'm not getting what i'm paying for so therefore i'm going to pay less when you're a consumer or a customer you know you're only willing to pay for what you get out of it and his point was you're not a customer consumer you're a stakeholder you're a partner you're a co-owner of the company you gotta put in your own capital whatever it takes to keep everything going because it's that importance i i really like that that depiction of ramen musket of are you a consumer or customer or are you a stakeholder and it's exactly how we've been feeling as well 100 and i'll tell you a great story i haven't asked her for permission so i cannot share her name but i was talking recently to a colleague of hours of federation rabbi brodie someone you work with very closely and um i asked her i said you know did you join membership again at your temple she's not orthodox she belongs to a different denomination of judaism i said you know now the high holidays are all going to be online i'm just curious to do did you pay your dues and she said did i pay not only i was the first one to pay my dues she goes every year i hedge and i have is it worth it is it not worth it she goes i am such a believer in community in the role that synagogues play in our community that this year more than ever she said i was the first one to sign up simply because i believe in our institutions and the need for them to not only survive but thrive even in difficult times and i thought that was a great tag you know tag team off of what you just said about feeling like a stakeholder not a consumer consumer would have said you know what i'm not getting the services what do i need a stakeholder says no i believe in what shul represents in my life i believe what it contributes to my family to my faith to my religious experience and when synagogues and schools are down and out that's specifically when i step forward and if i can do it financially i do it financially and if i could do it in volunteer efforts i do in volunteer efforts but we need people more now than ever right and it's it's it's a different it's a total shift in in mentality and thinking and we have wonderful people and for the most part i think people do feel like they're stakeholders i think they take a bullet for our community i think they feel part of a family i think they dig deep and they give their all and for the most part we are profoundly grateful to have such partnership and such stakeholders maybe we should come up with a new term instead of being membership you know you're a member at restaurant depot you're a member of costco i used to say you're a member of blockbuster you remember at all these other places um it's not a membership it's a stakeholder it's a partnership it's like it's like i'm not a member of my family like that's it's the wrong term it's it's something part of your very core identity it's who you are you can't divorce yourself from it so um yeah i know that you know we need to compete in order our members we have to provide value and service to them and we have to make it worth their while on the one hand on the other we talked about the brs movement what we stand for we stand for torah we stand for filo we stand for what judah was describing lightening the world of fire repairing the world in god's image being a conduit and an instrument of chess at a vehicle to to do great things in the world to connect people to provide community to advocate for israel outreach leadership all the different things and we don't have to you know give our our little sales pitch tonight but if you buy into that then you're a stakeholder in insuring or trying to promote that those values can go far and wide and if you see yourself as a consumer then you're well what's in it for me i'm going to cut back this year so we know there are people who are hurting financially and if you're hurting financially nobody's asking you or expecting you to do more than you can you could be a member of brs and there are members of brs for five dollars a year if that's what you can afford then you can be a member this isn't about brs and i'll tell you when i came out of quarantine where we were staying there was a minion there was a shule one of the last shules in the area we were staying it was still meeting outdoors and it was uh four minutes from where we were staying through the woods most mornings i had to navigate the deer and you're not sure like dear like is it like a bear like do you really want to like like make eye contact have a staring contest you want to move the be it's very i had a lot a lot of a lot of interesting experiences with deer this summer anyway so um yesterday was the last day i dived in there and and i say this not to to show off in the least i should if anything i'm showing off about my parents and my grandparents that i left i handed them a check and i said thank you i said thank you because for the last couple weeks when i got out of quarantine i had to placed the dominant three times a day it was outdoors spaced safe and i'm just grateful and i don't want to have shown up and and taken that field at seaboard and not contribute so it wasn't a huge change that's crazy you just shared that story i'll tell you why because i was about to jump in with a story now one of my earliest memories was going on vacation we went to a minion and i remember my dad handing uh writing a check to the guy by the show right after i said dad we were here we dive in like 2 million he goes yeah because aren't you appreciative that that show is here and that we we have to show our kara satova we have to write the donation it's literally as you're telling that story because that's you know we talked about this i think in a previous episode about a younger generation they don't join membership until they need an announcement or the member rate and they don't see that they're a stakeholder how could i come and take and be a consumer how can i consume and not contribute and so you know we learned we had parents as a grandparent john's grandfather her oppa allah shalom he was a lazy every time he visited i made sure he got in aliyah because he left a check every single time he got in every time he visited so that and he deserved the aliyah of course he was a very special man arnold goldsmith our oppa but there was there was a mentality of previous generations and i think it's critical to the future when when we we rabbinic leadership and jewish communal leaders are all talking about what the future holds post corona what will be left of community what have people discovered about their ability to do it on their own i'll do kong nidre and yaskar on zoom i can listen to shirum from the best speakers anywhere in the world i got a minion at the edge of my driveway i no longer need a shoe i no longer need a shoe so what's our response what's our answer and the answer is that community and what it stands for it's values it's ideals the difference it makes it transcends it's so much bigger than each of those privileges of membership so you're right if you're a consumer you can consume those things each separately and build your own menu of consuming those things on your own but if you're not a consumer if you're a stakeholder then you say to yourself i need the community to be strong what will community look like with the school at its center when this is all over what will it look like who's taking care of the needy who's making sure food's delivered to the elderly who is right now convening not just on our community we're seeing it all over who's convening these task force and committees that are saying what are the own that i'm going to look like how do we make sure we have indoor outdoor miniature show for blowing different le who's going to provide that convene that answer those questions investigate those issues if we don't celebrate so anyway i just wanted to raise that and really give him kudos or i must get i thought it did a great job of contrasting the mentality the attitude of are you a consumer or customer or are you a stakeholder and i think a follow-up to that article would be to spell it out kind of here's a test how do you think about this or do you do that and basically you can tell from the answer to those questions are you a customer or are you a stakeholder but you have to convince people it pays to be a stakeholder yeah i think even you gave a shabashuva russia a couple years ago i don't remember the exact title but uh but that was the upshot of it the upshot was is that everyone in the shoal needs to have their thing that they're contributing to the community and for some people that's going to be financial for some people it's going to be that they're shining the silver before the um narayan for some people it's they're changing the parochet for someone's going to be he's the ganbai but everyone's got to have their part that they uniquely contribute to a community um because that's what hashem demands of us right hashem gives us gifts in our as judah said right the give is the greatest opportunity that we have and so hashem gives us gifts some for talent some it's resources but it's what we do with those gifts that really defines us yeah we once did the back uh behind disney scene it wasn't behind the beam i was behind disney tour and all the people who work at disney are called cast members cast members because there's no custodian there's no janitor there's no housekeeper there's no high level low level senior junior they're all cast members and they're all part of making it the happiest place on earth so our members of our community if you're a consumer customer then you're what have you done for me lately but if you're a member of the cast then you're trying to create an environment where it's the happiest and most spiritual place on earth right josh or josh what's what's going on in that mind of yours i'm just excited right now that we're going to be we're going to be launching a whole new program it's going to be a very different program this year i'm excited that we're going to be back for the high holidays at boca raton synagogue we got to work out the schedule but that's going to be something very very back at brs this year that's big news back at brs first time in many many years yes can't wait to you know it's nice also because there's certain people you know people that you know that enjoy that type of experience and unfortunately couldn't get it at brs when we moved off campus so it's nice to be back for a year for sure you know for sure it'll be nice because part of what i missed when you moved off for the brs campus because you got so big you needed a bigger venue was the integration you know there was something really special about our members coming out of shillong the yum naraim and seeing the outreach members and and people being able to interact with each other yeah no but you know what there was a pride from our community members and i think from the outreach side there was a benefit to seeing you know a lively dynamic vibrant jewish life taking place on our campus i remember 20 years ago when rabbi goldberg started the service with the tent back in the day and you have front lawn yeah that notice that you were tense because because we wanted to not because we had to right there's a different world can you copy rabbi goldberg's russia if you're on the campus or is he just going to call him in that give it we're going to stop by we're going to rotate well who knows what drives us again we got to we're convincing our committee we got to figure out you know i saw that one one of our colleagues a friend um was quoted in a jta article about um how the um got to work and he said my russia was the first thing to go and i understand that because it's probably the most negotiable part of davening it's not part of the dhavani at all the drasha so on the one hand the russia could be the first thing to go but we've also gotten feedback and this is again not to pat ourselves on the back or the flex but so let's make it about others i know that when when i went to show when i was younger the dominant did a lot for me but what i really relied on was an inspirational motivational talk was the story was a drusha with someone to light me on fire so on the one hand from a purely jewish legal standpoint the jerusha can be the first thing to go on the other hand for what people rely on or hopefully lean on to inspire them the dress is kind of important for them yeah we got that feedback from the survey we put out a survey and we had a nice participation from our membership and you know what was interesting is we asked people how long would they be comfortable being in show and a lot of the comments said whatever you do we need two things one is bathrooms that was a big one access to bathrooms and number two as they said they rely you know it's hard yum to rhyme are hard it's hard to get motivated the words are hard it's a long davening and uh sometimes as you said a story something to touch your heart is what gets you going and uh sometimes focuses your mind a little bit it's hard to talk to an audience where you can't see their face you can't see their mouth sometimes you get a good read on the way people are are understanding or perceiving what you're saying and now you're looking at a whole room you just see eyes and it's very hard to get a read it's it's it's a great point that's a great point i found myself i found myself several times back in boca that you're looking across the room and normally you could rely on you're smiling at someone right my back with masks on nobody sees a smile right it's really it's really wild it's really something very wild so we um we want to thank our sponsors again our anonymous sponsors who are dear friends we love you thank you for getting the message of unity not uniformity and thank you for being part of our movement even without living in our community we took two weeks off and when you take two weeks off your podcast dips a bit so it means we need you more than ever so take a moment whatever podcast player you listen to podcasts on go on behind the bema and as i say every week don't do it because you're promoting us again we don't make money off of this do it because you want everyone to hear of judah's excitement you want his energy to be contagious and other people be on fire yeah you're a stakeholder behind the beam but not a consumer so be a stakeholder behind the bema you get the same cut that we get out of it we should sell shares we'll get you a shabbos light if that's what it looks like but um but be a stakeholder on the bema go on your podcast player apple podcast spotify go on whatever device you use rate review our podcast help it climb the charts so that not just the young men in muncie new york but everywhere they're listening they can everyone can show behind the beam as my my podcast we're gonna start having um features we're gonna have some extra uh did we just we lost him we lost him listen well he's gone oh okay you froze you froze i'm here i'm here we've we've got some am i still here you got me now we've got we've got some incredible guests lined up i will just say that two weeks time from now we have a very prominent guest who is making a very big announcement that's all that's all i'm going to say then two weeks you do not want to miss behind the bema i'm a little nervous for that interview i'm going to start right now where are you going we have a prominent a prominent guest who will be making a big big announcement so whether it's i don't know season one episode 18 or season two episode one but thank you for joining us again thank you of judy michelle thank you to all of you and wishing everyone please stay happy stay healthy and stay holy have a good night