#20: Behind the Bima

good evening ladies and gentlemen it is 9 p.m on wednesday night i am rabbi from goldberg joined together with my dear friends and colleagues rabbi phillip moscow attend rabbi josh brody and we are here to take you behind the bema we're going behind the bema thank you so much for being with us tonight we are trying a new format and hoping that you've found us and then we're not talking to ourselves we might be and that's okay we're cool with that because we happen to like each other and uh and also in addition to the live show tonight it's a podcast that we know that hundreds if not thousands listen to and we're so grateful uh for that so thanks for being with us tonight excited for our our show tonight tonight is season one episode episode 20. i might be ready for season two ready for season two i thought we said that comes after rosh hashanah yeah i'm i'm amending my position on that amending the position is that the only position you're going to amend tonight or are we rising the only one shall we pick up where we last left off now we gotta ease in we gotta ease in first we have michael chaim we gotta make a look please make the lachaim tonight tell us first of all what you're drinking i am drinking some laphroaig and i'm making to good friends to good family into good health and to our children starting the school year safely oh man i want to add we're thinking about all those who are in hurricane laura's path and this uh devastating hurricane is charging its way towards the uh the coast the goal is survivable it really is scary and you know it's amazing because i was actually i was actually thinking this afternoon i know we're in the middle of lachaim but i was thinking this afternoon that this is you know you know how we feel when there's a hurricane plowing towards us and we wonder like how is the rest of the world going on why isn't everything come to a standstill why aren't people focusing concentrating having emergency prayer rallies calling on us to check in on us and and the reality is that that's what we're doing right now life goes on but it's not going on for the people who are hunkered and bunkered down who are fearful for their life and so we doubt them for those in hurricane laura's path we pray for their safety their well-being and we hope that they are okay i mean robert brody class act tonight where's like a brown paper bag for that all he's missing exactly my words is a brown paper bag we've got a lot of conversation tonight johnny walker red this is like the end it's the same way i needed to do another laundry today i've been wearing a bathing suit all day okay there's a little too much information tmi we want to grow our audience and not lose them rabbi brody but thank you again keeping it classy we want to thank our sponsors yet again our dear friends uh if you look at the bottom of your screen tonight look at the law group donnie oppenheimer of the oppenheimer law group personal injury law firm representing injury victims and families throughout the state of florida you can call or text seven seven 888-677-7796-888-6777 six for a free case evaluation and uh donnie's sponsoring yet again he's a good friend pillar of our community and uh if you need any uh any law needs he's really uh he's really quite brilliant and erudite and articulate and eloquent and i'm just talking about on his facebook page now i'm just joking that's a little controversial there um but he's sponsored tonight in support of bidi deutsch's fight for olympic gold and the ongoing kiddush hashem that she's doing unfortunately we have some bad news which is that bidi deutsch had a conflict and is not able to join us but we are going to have her in the future so we do wish her well and we're following her story closely she is a kid of hashem she is an inspiration to her by moscowitz and runners everywhere she's fighting for the jewish cause uh to be able to compete in the olympics and we're sorry she's not able to join us tonight but we're looking forward to having her on in the future and a big thank you to donnie oppenheimer for that sponsorship yet again i was actually got a question i was debating with uh someone in the running world who was very excited that we were moving around tonight and i was going to ask her about motivation how do you stay motivated anyone who's ever done long runs um and i'll include anything 10 miles and above knows that running is much more mental than it is physical and i was going to ask her about how she stays motivated how she gets up in the morning how and this person told me he would venture to say she would laugh at my question that elite runners don't struggle with motivation at all he would surmised that she jumps out of bed in the morning ready to go and that was going to be my question to her and i'm curious what you guys think right in other words do you think that even people at an elite level are so zoned in that they have no struggles or everyone struggles with motivation i think it probably comes and goes i think there are days that people struggle with motivation but on the whole the way they got that status and they became accomplished in that arena is that they're driven they're ambitious they've got drive competitive spirit they the killer instinct and um whether they're competing against others or they're competing against themselves in their own record i think people have that question is if you if you're not born with that and you don't have it can you learn it all right it's funny that's what you think you can i think you can listen i wasn't i didn't i wasn't born loving running i developed a love for running and um obviously i'm not in an elite level but you know he where it was uh it was a real struggle to go rabbi brodie what were you going to say uh you know phil rabbi mosquito was talking you know about the great questions he was thinking about asking i when i heard she wasn't going to be on i figured no one really knows what she looks like so i was going to grab simone schaetel and pretend to be her tonight just to kind of fill in but yeah but i'm glad you didn't try that and again by brody keeping it classy so before we move on we have a lot of topics a lot of things to talk about but let's talk a little bit about our format and our change tonight we've already gotten a little resistance we have some people who are allergic to change they don't like change but this is the season of change this is when we're trying to improve so uh we moved over from zoom first of all we're still recording as a podcast you could listen behind the bema an apple podcast and and spotify and stitcher and all the podcast players that are out there continues to climb the billboard charts um but uh in terms of the live show tonight instead of broadcasting from zoom we're using a program called stream yard which enables us to stream it right to facebook right to youtube and to a few other platforms you could write comments on any of those platforms and we see them all integrated as one so but we'd like some some watcher um viewer feedback do you like this what do you think about this layout you like this layout of us talking side by side talking heads analyzing debating we're gonna get into some stuff do you like this better which is which is the layout we're going for feel please feel free to uh weigh in on the comments on on any of the platforms that you're watching we'd love to hear from you and we're excited we could we can scroll things in the bottom we're going to improve and add new things on a regular basis but we're very very excited to be able to continue to upgrade what we bring to you so i have a question for both of you tonight and this is a um this is a etiquette question etiquette question of course the appropriate thing is to wear a mask in public and whenever you're out in crowds whenever you're around others whenever you can't maintain distance things outdoors you gotta wear a mask it's the right thing to do we endorse it we practice it our show requires it it's uh it's what we've been doing here's my etiquette question for you when you feel a sneeze coming on and you're wearing a mask what's the move do you pull the mask knees into your elbow or do you sneeze into the mask which is essentially the equivalent of sneezing in your own face and then afterwards the other morning i get i get allergies in the morning sometimes i was in the middle of davening and i felt some sneezes coming on and the last thing you want to do right now is sneeze and chill because then you know that about 50 people are looking at you and saying what's wrong with that guy does he have covid so i excused myself from davening i went out i i sneezed i blew my new menos and moshe kaminetsky looked at me goes you're not the first one this morning so apparently that's the popular move is to walk out pop and move but what's the move what's the move the mask and let's say you can't walk out let's say you're in a place or you're surrounded by people and you can't excuse yourself sneeze into the mask and live with the consequences or lower the mask and sneeze into your elbow has the cdc weighed in on this question uh-huh it's a good question you know one of the things that i think you have to try and predict what kind of sneeze it's going to be you know i'll give you an example i have two allergies a lot of people don't know about my allergy i have one allergy i'm allergic to metal so i can't wear a ring or a watch or anything metal right the other allergy i have it's just it is an allergy i looked it up i mean it's it's it's up it's up there it's i i'm allergic to sunlight when i go outside from from a room and i walk outside same thing happens with my kids automatic sneeze but there's no nothing nothing comes out it's just a single thing what yeah that's a real thing it's like a sneezing to the thing you learn something new every day so change the view i'm not loving this view you're not loving the view okay our our viewers in fully but uh there you go you like that a little bit better i do i'm a little more comfortable than not right in my face we're gonna play with this and we're gonna evolve so last week our show ended with a heated and rigorous debate there's a few things i don't want to revisit the argument for several reasons i don't want to revisit it don't make yourself lost i don't want to revisit it and then lose i don't want to revisit it but i want to share a couple observations about the conversation and then transition to a corollary or a similar conversation the first observation is that people saw the way we went at it taking different possessions of positions on this question of sports and i got several texts afterwards like are you in ruby moscow it's okay like are you guys going to be able to come back from this what will it be like tomorrow can you talk they don't know that two seconds after the show we were back on facetime like best friends that and and you know i don't know is this stating it another thing like a guy thing is this a sports thing that you could have a vociferous and rigorous debate you could put it all out on the line and it's not personal then like two seconds later you go to the right next conversation and your best of friends well don't we have a precedent for that i mean and when you talk about the gemara and things like that isn't that exactly what they did we called them to shall torah they used to battle over something cavrus used to argue about a point and then when they were done they used to of himself said they used to love each other again so we've been able to model our relationship after that and we've had some heated ones along the way not gonna lie whether it's based on tennis games whether it's russia's um some of the classic red sox yankee russia shots that we've taken at each other but but that's the fun of it not all of it is torah but i agree in other words it's depersonalized you're able to maintain that friendship you have that strong foundation and you can debate ideas without having to become personal and i'm not saying that we are the model of it i'm sure we sometimes fail at it but i think that's something our country desperately needs the ability to disagree agreeably and the ability to debate ideas without it becoming without it becoming personal this just in rabbi brodie my daughter tamar and my son-in-law khalif are also allergic to the sun and sneeze when they go outside to the sunlight see this just in this is to live in florida you guys are both smart guys you both love your teams your red sox and your yankees and and you know new england and new york do you sometimes you know question why the other one doesn't see your side because let me say you're so invested in it and you love it and it's like this is my team and i know how come he just doesn't see it first of all you don't see it with sports because it's all where you grew up or the misora the tradition you have from your parent and it's who you're meant to root for and it really is illogical you're not rooting because of some allegiance ideological connection you're rooting because of a city because of a nostalgia because of a family the debate we had last week wasn't even between two sports teams it was about a rule or an unwritten rule in sports but the debate can be about politics about anything so i was having a pretty heated debate with a family member of mine shall remain nameless about the election we're in a political show so we will not weigh in what we tried to get to in the conversation was did we have the ability to at least recognize the other ones where they're coming from and their point of view in other words to not believe it understand it agree with it but say that's reasonable it's a reasonable point of view even though i vehemently disagree with it and that's i think a goal of debating of course yeah no i mean that's the whole that's what we strive for is there just a breakdown of technology or you guys i don't know i just realized the comment thing on the side there's all these people that just wrote i i didn't even notice that the entire time you're catching up doing a reading wow look at this happens to be it's a lot more distracting this platform than other platforms there's i see you distracted and now that i see the comments i'm loving it so to transition to this week so one was the observation that people had that they were afraid they saw the way that we debated debated they thought it was personal when it's ridiculous it was a joke it wasn't whatsoever the second is i was thinking to myself we had this debate last week about the unwritten rules of baseball what do you guys think are the unwritten rules of shul life it doesn't say anywhere it's not a constitution or bylaws doesn't appear in the but what are some of the unwritten rules of shul life and please you know our listeners and our viewers weigh in you're in my space send us an email if you're listening later what are the unwritten rules of of shu life i thought of one you're in my order no you're in my seat that's a written rule see my seat is there is there a malcolm kava do you have a set seat but here was my unwritten rule you ready you cannot sing a slow lucha dodi at the late summer minion friday night unwritten rule of shoe life no see the pitcher should throw at you so first of all i don't think you should ever do a slow one but i see i argue the opposite early minion is the one you can't do it at because those people that want to get home to the kids by the way minion your your kids are asleep you got nowhere to go you might as well enjoy yourself the early minion people who are there want to get home and be with their children and when you start with that slola khadodi you got to look around the rabbi you and i sit in the front of the room and we we can sense air getting sucked right out of our room right a slow cody will do that yeah yeah so that's that's one unwritten rule is the mistiming the wrong space of aloha dodie at the wrong time what's what are the other unwritten rules um welcome your comments what are your thoughts don't tell me to be quiet that's an unwritten rule depends where it depends what true i only know one true [Laughter] but they have to have a sense of the pulse of the community so if you're like let's say torah one o'clock in the afternoon you as a kazan need to know when to speed it up and when to slow things down that to me is is where a lot of the unwritten rules come in yeah don't walk in and out of the rabbids russia that is uh again dependent on the show and the uh culture of the show unwritten rule when you come before minika and you're catching the end of the class i gotta walk right through the class to the front where there's four minutes left to the class even if that's your seat right hang out in the back until the class ends and it's time for medical and then come to the front what about the the kids that start you know climbing like on the jungle gym next to you when you're giving your your dress like don't don't don't let your kids swing from the banisters and not doing anything can men right kids coming in for candy russia that's a biggie also yeah unwritten rules what are other i will also say coming back from the kiddush club during the russia yeah what are god by unwritten rules unwritten rules of being a guy by like the umpire who you give what to and when you pace it and what you announce and they don't give the same person every week no but for sure the god gabba the gabai and the show receptionist are the two most underrated positions in show life because when we thought we think about the experience that our members have um the majority of their experience are dictated by who answers the phone when they call the show and what type of dominating they experience when they come to shul and those are the receptionists in the gabai an unpaid position uh and uh you know it's interesting to think about who you play in those positions and do we really fully appreciate just how much that dictates the experience of our of our members yeah here's an unwritten rule of shoe life although it should be written don't talk to anyone at the kiddush if you're still chewing your food right big one swallow finish finish what's in your mouth before you usually ends up on the other person nine times yeah yeah yeah and that person is usually one of the rabbis right robert brodie is a white fish my mother has texted that my brother sneezes when he looks at the sun so we've we've does this go with like bowel issues what's the uh where did this come from looking at the sun and sneezing who knew who knows funniest thing you should see when my kids walk out of the house it's like clockwork like they're indoors they walk outside and they sneeze one sneeze that's it unbelievable at the same time but see i'm a multiple sneezer once you get me going i could be going for like five ten minutes yeah unwritten rule we have one of our counters rights the gabba don't favor friends find ways to include people who don't get attention it's another written rule it's a it's a beef right don't give the same levy levy every monday thursday and chabas there are other levium in the room unwritten rule of shoe life there's so many unwritten rules outside of being a gabai or the kibutum right there there are plenty of other unwritten rules of of shul life we've got to give that one some thought we'll come back to it so let's check it out of the kiddush club don't talk during the kiddush club that's good that's good let's talk let's let's check in on how the challenge is is is is there an unwritten rule that at a certain point in the davening if you show up at that point it's just too late don't walk in last week i was actually like there was a guy that came in literally elena he came sat down in his seat diamond and then he left you know we were done two minutes later is that an unrealistic maybe it's me but ditching would say not a revloc would say what a beautiful thing guy came in for alino and kaddish what a magnificent thing i don't know might be i don't know i might be a little bit late to be showing up i remember there's a few years where we started early like on certain yantiffs like i thought it was normally nine and then it's i think it's eight eight and it was like seven and i've walked in it's like an hour and i'm like oh this is so embarrassing it's rough it's rough it's not easy let's check in you know this ella larchul uh the brs movement beer is not a schultz movement and uh brs movement offered a 30-day challenge by the moscow it's his um i got it under one second i just see what someone does right there if you're sitting right in front of the rabbi and you might have dozed off don't fall off your chair in front of you yeah you know that you know that once happened it was it was one of the highlights of my career what's amazing about the story is that the person was in their early 30s it was an afternoon class maybe he had a baby at home he didn't sleep that night it's the first time i ever saw this people have fallen asleep you know in fact i was on a zoom call with a bunch of rabbis this week and one of the rabbis talked about how this past shabbos was their first time back in shul the first time he spoke he gave like a three minute talk three minute talk so he said i don't want to like deflate everybody but i'll just tell you after six months the usual cast of characters like the same people who were sleeping six months ago they were asleep now the same people listening they were listening now like absence did not make the heart grow fonder so we've all had that you're given the drusha person sleeping maybe the person starts snoring somebody elbows them but i was given a class on a show this afternoon a young guy sitting in the front and he fell into such a deep sleep and his head started to fall forward that he literally and i know i'm using the word literally for sure cynic out there he literally fell off his chair he woke up when he hit the ground and he i would have given him i don't know i don't know what the russian judge would have given i would have given like a 9.7 with the way in which he bounced right back up and tried to sit back up in that chair and make it like nothing happened and now for sure you play it cool yeah but you're teaching that class so what do you do you look at look in the other direction do you say something do you make it do you make him feel good what do you do what do you do well it's funny i find that when i notice people dozing off or and then i'll ask them afterwards to say oh are you okay i noticed you were sleeping during the russia they're shocked to know that you and i notice right there they're they're shocked to know that even while we're giving it russia we're still able to notice certain people sleeping during the dress show 100 percent no and and the other way is true also when you're falling asleep and you're dozing and you think the person doesn't notice because you keep like yeah you think you're worse to the head bob the headbutt bob and it's just once you're doing that you're out so i was at the dentist today i had some uh some dental work i needed to get done i know and i got the greatest dentist we all know i'm aside from rooting for the wrong sports teams he is a great great guy sweetheart gentle he's a great dentist see he told me at the end that i paid him the greatest compliment that one could pay the dentist what do you think is the biggest compliment you could give your dentist falling asleep in the dental chair i fell asleep and started snoring in the middle of his working on my tooth wow that's pretty good right wow that's talented i want some of that that's talented that's pretty the only place i fall asleep is the barber you put me in a barber chair you might as well have like put me with an iv of of ambien or something i got into that chair i'm out like a light my dear friend buy clippers you save a lot of money it's whatever i'm going to leave it at that anyway i want to move over to ello rabbi moskowitz so tell us about the idea that you had the 30-day challenge in the nine different areas mind body soul the whatsapp groups that have started and then i'm hoping each of us can weigh in on how our challenges are going what we're hearing from people what's the feedback people pushing themselves we can encourage people where can they go if they want to still join one of these challenges yes they can go to brs online slash ello to find out all about the challenge and how to sign up for specific challenges but go is pretty simple you know this year because we're somewhat limited in our ability to connect people through show we want to empower people to change themselves outside of show with the support obviously and then the inspiration from uh from brs and so what we did was we issued a challenge nine different areas mind body and soul where basically we encourage people to become the best version of themselves that if you make small incremental changes for 30 days straight then uh eventually you'll approach russian as a different person and so the challenges go from everything from doing a two-minute plank a day which i know you have a very heated whatsapp group there was actually a plank competition outside of marv last night after marv where people were showing the correct the update on the planks okay now so there's there's a plank chat there's a walking chat there's a couch to 5k chat there's a leave your cell phone at a show there's benching from a sitter all different types of things very small things very doable things but really encouraging people to push themselves again with small manageable incremental changes throughout ello so which are your groups what are your challenges and and what's the kind of feedback that you've gotten so far how you do are you doing the challenges yourself i am doing everything and that would be hypocritical if i wasn't so one of them is a walk run challenge right we said circle but i'm encouraging you know whatever you want to do you want to walk a little bit run a little bit during the day um get out there get a little bit of exercise the other is to bend from a bencher so many of us have been benching for some years that it becomes monotonous and by wrote and so it's encouraging people to take a little bit of time slow down say the only biblical blessing that we do every day and do it properly and the last one is reading to read a little bit every day challenge your mind to turn off the tv maybe at night and open a book that might expand your worlds what about you wrapping your challenges how they impacted you are you doing or thinking or feeling differently where day i think today is day six of the challenge so how are you at day six check in with us so day six thank god i'm doing all the challenges um walking the circle's a little hard just because it takes a little bit of time but i like the idea in other words for me whatever i'd signed up for um is nice but from a d it's every day knowing that i'm doing something for my body so improve myself to me that that's a that's a that's a cognitive change that takes place that really focuses you throughout l and so the specifics of whatever challenge you're doing is almost irrelevant the concept behind it is is what's so important to me nice rebranding what are your three challenges and what's what's the impact on you yes i'm doing the filling challenge i'm running that uh little group um what's interesting actually is that we we have this is not the first or only group we have with film we actually started this about seven months ago with a bunch of guys that came back from one of our israel trips do one of the men's trips and and they gave a free pair to fill into any guy that's never owned a pair to fill in and said that they would commit to putting it on for the next 40 days or you know a couple weeks we still have that group going and it's seven months later right now and i remember the first few weeks um they were putting on filling more than you guys were because they're doing it on shabbos also so it's you know putting them on every single day that that's the time for the film we don't pass in that way but there's an opinion right so it's great and we're still all doing and there definitely is this this exciting i would say you know energizing peer pressure that you see the one guys doing it and how can we actually post a photo of ourselves every single day so you see the other guys doing it not everyone makes it every single day but uh here's the story inspire our listeners inspire us give us a story of a guy who would never dream would be wearing to fill in and he's putting filling on every day all these guys are what's interesting now is that now i put this new filling group that the rabbit mosquitoes made i put it out to these guys that were not part of that original group and some people that you know like warren's friends i'm gonna tell you you know on the show right now who they are right signed up even just yesterday so even though the challenge started a few days ago new guys are joining and then there's people this is not just a local boca thing there's some guy in new york i don't even know who he is he's on the what we call the uh what's the name of the group energized by filling and he just posted a picture of himself again i don't know who he is says late in the day but fill in from new york city so i'm assuming it's a guy that you know would love to put on filling every day probably for whatever reason can't make it to a minion every day but you know just needs a little bit of a push and i think that you know this this collective uh group peer pressure kind of but not in a negative way in a very positive way is exciting people to do things they've never done before and i joined the plant group saw that i noticed that you even posted a plank last night yes i was impressed by that so i'm also loving it and you can see scrolling in the bottom of our new system the brsonline.org you can still join those whatsapp groups in progress we're six days in but we still have over three weeks to go in this challenge and my three challenges are gratitude journal dot three things every day to record what you're grateful for and you know the challenge of that is it's so easy to do generic things i'm grateful to be alive i'm grateful i can see i'm grateful that i have a house you know the challenge is to be really specific i'm so grateful that the new platform for behind the worked out and people actually join whatever it is whatever you're grateful for something significant insignificant consequential negligible but to really identify three things to articulate and we offered in our group an app that you could download you could write it you could just say it you could think it but to really uh to try to have an attitude of gratitude that's one group and the second group of mine is the turn off your phone for dominant group and what made me think of that is about um about eight months ago i was talking with a few of my friends and i said you know i'm really embarrassed i sunk to a low level where i'm actually during davening i'm one of the rabbis i'm in the front of the room they wait for me but this thing in my pocket when it buzzes when it beeps when it vibrates this feeling of of what's on there what's it saying what am i missing out on and then your mind plays these tricks on you like maybe it's critical maybe i have to look at it right now maybe it's life-threatening maybe it's an announcement i have to make during davening so i have to look at it at this moment and i decided that i i really was um addicted to it even to the point of during davening so i made a promise in a pledge and asked others to be my accountability partner and i kept track i actually kept a record of how many days in a row i could go without bringing my phone into davening leaving it in my office or putting out an airplane mode in my pocket and the key is not just not taken out of your pocket the key is putting it on airplane mode some ritual that you're turning it off and you're disconnecting from it and i'm really proud to tell you that i went so many days that i stopped counting because it just became a new normal for me that barak hashem thank god i'm not even tempted so i put that challenge out to people and we have a great whatsapp group and try to share a thought each each day and i want to tell you this amazing text i got i got a text a little bit before minh just today earlier today and this is the text you're listening it says i've been meaning to tell you the phone off during shul thing has been great for my focus one night i even forgot to turn it back on for an hour and noticed in retrospect that it was one of the nicer nights i had laying with my kids putting them to bed because the phone wasn't a distraction so it really you know it's from it's from a good friend and a wonderful guy but i wouldn't have necessarily seen him as being part of this group or seen that coming but it's the kind of thing that if you challenge yourself to do and and this guy is if you if you have a competitive juices then you you take on that challenge and here's the thing you're not like i'm doing it for 30 years i'm doing it for 30 days and there's nothing that any of us can't do for 30 days we can all do it for 30 days so um you know he got that feedback after day five already on day six he was seeing that that return and then my third group as you referenced maybe my favorite uh is the plank group anyone everyone know what a plank is a plank like you lean on your on your forearms and you hold your body straight like a plank and you try to hold that position as long as you can so you say what kind of workout is it to stay still staying still is a workout so i'll tell you the first time you plank if you've never done it or haven't done it in a while your body shakes like you know someone might think that you're you're convulsing like god forbid you're having a seizure like your core you're waking up muscles that you never knew you've never been introduced to before shalom nice to meet you they are wide awake so um it's great our group you've got and i mean we got a message about it trying to motivate people each day and then we motivate each other by posting the um stopwatch on your phone that you clock how long you held the plank and as i keep posting it's not a competition with anyone else one of my neighbors who's amazing it's already close to a five-minute plank god bless them it's hard not to not to be depressed when you see that um the key is you're not competing with anyone you're competing with yourself the key is do it 30 days in a row and every day do it a little bit longer than you did it the day before now i haven't posted this video in the group yet but if we all want to be depressed did you all see the story last year of the ex-navy sealers in his 60s who set in this world record eight hours eight hours right eight hours anyway the plank is so important because the plank represents the core strengthening your core and it's true in gas missile and ruckness it's true physically and spiritually you're only as good you're only as strong as your core so those groups have been really really great daffy me example yeah the dots the office called the plank you can't live without the dof you got to hold on to the daf every day you got to hold on to that date i think if you plank for 30 days you can't help but see results even if you're not being careful with your eating or exercise but more importantly i'd like to think that if you're playing 30 straight days you'll keep planking you'll keep turning your phone off you'll keep walking the circle you keep reading a little bit more what are you reading rabbi moscow is that a little extra reading what are you reading these days so now i'm reading a book called the 5 a.m club which is about getting up early maximizing the the early time in your day i happen is it growing up i was not an early morning person i was actually a late night person my wife calls my house that i grew up in a time warp because you would go at like 12 1 2 in the morning and the lights would be on the tv would be blaring to this day i could call my mom at one o'clock in the morning and guaranteed she'll be up and my wife's family's a little bit different they had a slightly earlier bedtime and so she couldn't understand it when she when we got married and she'd come to my house in boston and like two in the morning we'd all be sitting up and we'd all be schmoozing and um that's that's the environment i i grew up in as i got older though i started you know all these books timbers out of the interviews that he conducts and you start realizing that some really successful people maximize their early hours that specifically right when you wake up in the morning before the rest of the world wakes up when your mind is still clear before you've checked your inbox and you have so many other things to do you can really maximize that time and and i've really tried very hard over the last number of years to switch my entire rhythm from being a night person to being a morning person when i was training last year i had to do it big time because i was getting up at 4 or 4 30 in the morning a lot of the times but i love it mornings when it works it's amazing there's nothing better than by eight nine o'clock in the morning having basically had a full day got an exercise read a little bit learned a little bit davin there's something really beautiful about that now it happens on the other end right it's now 9 33 so our live audience of course we've got the podcast listeners listening anytime they want maybe at five am there maybe they wake up at four am to here behind the bema but what happens to you burning the candle on the other end so it's interesting the the the before i started coming from the map i met the coach um and my coach told me that there are three central things that are critical for running one of them was sleep and he said whatever you're getting on the front end whatever you're losing on the front and you have to make back on the back end and i had to really be disciplined i'm not an i'm not a disciplined sleeper at night and i had to work really hard to get into bed and to give myself enough time to get to sleep so that i could get up early in the morning and function properly because you can't go to sleep at one in the morning and wake up at four in the morning that just doesn't work and if you're getting up at 5 5 30 in the morning you got to go to sleep early i mean you know i was once talking to i don't have permission to quote him but a prominent rabbi um who gives a very prominent daffy me and i asked him i said when do you prepare the da fiomi he says i get up at five o'clock in the morning and i prepare the daffy me then i said well if you get up at five in the morning to prepare the doc what time you're going to sleep he said i am in bed at 10 o'clock every night he said some people think it's like a macho thing i stayed up late i was up till one in the morning he goes no for me being macho means i'm in sleep at 10 so i can get a good night's sleep be up at five prepare the duff teach the dof and then you know be a normal functioning person throughout the day it's good yeah it's not an early morning person you're up early yeah you know what but the problem is i found that i was burning the candle on both ends and that catches up with you so actually one of the gifts of corona if there are any silver linings and there are people who feel blessed not everybody's blessed to even be able to see or identify them is that that change of schedule my whole household was on a totally and utterly different schedule which included staying up a little bit later they woke up a little bit later it really shifted things a lot i'm heading back to that early schedule but i think that we all have to be we didn't make a sleep group which would be a good 30 day challenge about trying to get a certain amount of sleep and again everyone can identify what they need but you know holding ourselves accountable to sleep that amount that we need it's all about mind body and soul it's about all these things really if you're in a disciplined zone you're in a disciplined zone if you're in an undisciplined zone so what's true when you're taking care of your body you're taking care of your soul you're taking care of your spirit taking care of your relationships and when you're neglecting them and you're letting go then you're you're letting go let me ask you a question about that because you and i were in yeshiva all three of us were in yeshiva and um the great russia yeshiva the people that you and i are close with um do not need a lot of sleep um i think of my rebbe who will sometimes call me back at two three in the morning and just has this incredible ability to function normally on on almost no sleep whatsoever i was once talking one of the rashiva i said he said can i call you back late i said sure he goes how late i said you know 12 one he goes oh i was thinking more 2-3 i said when do you sleep he said phil i sleep fast that was his thing right i sleep fast so i guess you and i grew up in a mentality or we went through a system where that was idealized right to be a rash yeshiva you had to get to really limit the amount of sleep that you got and burn it on both ends but again for me personally i just i've not been able to do that as you said it runs me down it gets me sick i'm not a happy person when i do that you know the rabbis you're saying tamas when the rebbe passed away um or to to honor um a large um commemoration of zero tight there were several biographies that came out simultaneously and they were all extraordinary they were really wonderful want some more intellectual biographies some more biographies some more um hate geography but one of them talked about it maybe they all talked about the fact that the laboratory of blessed memory never took a vacation not a day of vacation never took a vacation not a day not a day and he had this mentality that there's so much work to do and we are god's ambassadors and agents and we have to do his work he never took a vacation and he famously spoke about there's no such thing as retiring right the shlikam that go out in the field they don't there's no retirement date there's no there's no retirement so when i read the book i was really disheartened and i actually gave this feedback and i said you got to qualify when you write that kind of thing because somebody like me like you we're in the field and we say wow i must be really pathetic because i need a vacation i need a day off i need to disconnect i need to sleep so i think that it's a really dangerous line the people that we admire to acknowledge that maybe they have that ability but also to be very careful that we don't put that pressure on ourselves or hold ourselves to a standard that we can't because they were superhuman there's a reason they were who they were and that's not necessarily the standard that we were supposed to be they were incredible our fact checker says they were incredible people and uh they were i think they were literally incredible people and um and um and we can't necessarily hold ourselves that standard i just you and i had this debate when when the revolution biography came out or was the kanyevsky biography and one of the things about was the usher was though invested in torah study that he he didn't know i was his children or his grandchildren's names and i remember that bothered you a lot you actually you and brian galbet he's debated that a lot whether that's something we should idealize whether that there's just certain people in this world that were created with that purpose of being so shakua so invested in torah learning that they're not have to be in the world um but whether that's a a model for us or not is is something else now rabbi brodie you are you're joining us tonight that is not your normal background you are not at home where are you tonight i have can anyone tell that i'm sweating can you see that okay yes we can remember our podcast listening audience is listening on podcasts it is over 80 degrees in this room right now there's no air conditioning where are you i'm i'm in my other i don't know if i'm office to say because you're not supposed to have alcohol in this building so in that case never mind i'll talk about it right now but um marley i just bought it as a prop it's not it's not it's apple juice okay what are the what are the outreach plans for the high holidays this year given the limitations that we have opened it up today so barak hashem um one thing that we're adding this year which we've never done before i actually got this idea from rabbi noo he said he's doing this on the second day of rosh hashanah because the first day is shabbos so you can't blow the chauffeur and everyone looks forward to it so the second day we're going to do a tash lift and a chauffeur blowing at the uh circle at the lake in the middle of montoya's circle so that's one of the the highlights and some other fun things that both of you will hopefully participate in waking up early just you know one of the things you were saying i think also that just just practically speaking you end up it's not just being productive because someone could argue you could be productive in the morning you could be more productive at night but i find that the kinds of things that you could normally be lazy about later in the day because you could say i already did a full day now you kind of stay out of trouble like the the nonsense or just the wasting time or things that you probably you know a little more tv now you're a morning person right you're up you're up very early i'm telling you but the point is it just it kind of keeps you it keeps you you know on the straight and hour a little bit more the earlier you wake up earlier you go to sleep are you do you hit the snooze button or the alarm goes off you jump no always i always snooze it the problem i'm setting it earlier and earlier now so it's not it's hard it's hard to get up it is hard very hard but but if i don't then i'm in trouble very well i'm smoking in the night holidays rabbi goldberg we we sent out the high holiday forums this week it's a big deal for the first time in boca raton synagogue history it was an online platform here robbie moskowitz what was that our new it department department exactly no i'm this way um so to tell our listeners how did that go you know this was obviously a it's a different year a lot of different types of services mignon brs um different types of platform lots of changes what was some of the feedback that you're hearing and what are some of the lessons for our listeners out there who come to brs and don't come to brs who are going through these times and their shows are putting stuff out and their kids are starting out in school what are some of the messages that you have for our leaders about how to be followers when lenders are trying to lead that's a great question what are your thoughts i don't remember the question that was really goldberg's wife saying i was playing around with the formatting that i don't know i don't have a question and i have a lot of thoughts but i'm curious what yours is well i asked you the question that's like a jewish thing to answer a question with a question uh so i i have a little thought on this that it's a good transition to something serious um you know there's a quality that's been jumping out at me this entire time um throughout corona for the last six months and i think it's a core of really relationships in general um it's a core of community it's a core of work professional career home life and it is everyone's familiar with stephen covey's seven habits highly effective people yeah so so my favorite habit one of my favorite habits but i think is really important which happens to um be scrolling across the bottom of our screen right now is habit number five and habit number five covey says is first seek to understand then to be understood and covey writes in the seven habits he says if i were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle i've learned in the field of interpersonal relations that's a pretty big endorsement he says if i have to summarize in marriage and parenting with colleagues and friends in community profit not for profit life if i had to summarize the most important principle the single most important principle in all interpersonal relationships is this seek first to understand and then to be understood so you know i guess one of the challenges that we've had that has been testing patients and having to to learn to to manage it is that we deliberate every policy every every policy every you know i like to say that before corona so the community had a policy debate once every three years four years five years what were the debates at brs well first they were stendergate several years ago i don't know how many of you remember stendergate should people be allowed to bring their personal standards into shul some said yeah the morse gender's around it's hamish it's yeshivish it's comfortable others said you killed the aesthetic of the whole room and why do some people get and others don't and you know you're blocking the aisles and it doesn't work and that it's hard to believe that there was a time that that was the most debated hot controversial topic several board meetings people lined up and took sides and people advocated positions that was i don't know how long ago was that before my time and years ago you remember 15 years ago but then it at people then along with the standards there was the the chairs it was the same meetings there was like one or two people started bringing in their own chairs they were gonna ride the chairs arm chairs recliners the week where it kind of broke like where we said okay yeah poor me some guy brought like a like a lazy boy right like a lazy butcher like a recliner talking about falling asleep through in the drusha so right there was that i don't know 12 14 years ago right and then we had should the chairs face forward or face each other i was here for that one people lined up votes i'm not minimizing for some people it's very important but that was right and then we had which is still a very hot topic i i shudder to even raise it but should the volunteer security committee be allowed to carry firearms what's the law what's the halacha what's prudent what's what he did controversial so until now it's like once every three four five years you had to have a policy you called a board meeting people lined up they submitted um you know their position paper and then you took a vote now during corona every day every day should bathrooms be open should bathrooms be closed over a certain age can come they can't come masks should the minion be at this time or at that time indoors or outdoors and there's a time to start a class you can't have a class can you have a habit every day every day there's not one every day there are several policy decisions for which people have the most heated and invested and emotional connection to that policy decision and that is taking its toll it's taking its toll on leaders lay leaders professional leaders rabbis because every day we are and people don't understand so they got this email and it's not true for us it's true for all our colleagues we're in touch with all of our we are here tonight and behind the bema we are representing rabbis everywhere and i can promise you that rabbis everywhere are sitting and they we are schvitzing over every period and comma over every letter and policy over every italic and bold over every implication every nuance the target target everything in that letter and people get it and they skim it and they don't even read the whole thing they don't read not between the lines they don't read the lines and right away the text the emails they come back and they don't understand how much we schmitz how many days hours weeks deliberation debate and concern committees and and focus groups and bouncing it off people so this is a long-winded way of answering your question and to say the following say the following if i had one pet peeve or one wish for people it's that challenge any policy you're entitled to you have a right to we can all see things tremendously differently we all live differently we come from different places we're in different situations and we're allowed to see things very differently debate and give feedback and offer criticism it's all welcome but first seek to understand before being understood and what i mean by that is just ask a question i notice that this is like this how'd you come to that i noticed or i'm wondering or i'm curious or could you explain first seek to understand and if we offer you the explanation we say well our task force or we spoke to others this was the advice this was the conclusion this was the focus group and you say well that's lovely but here's what i think we welcome it we welcome it but whether it's in your marriage or whether parenting or whether at work or whether in jewish communal life habit number five first seek to understand and only then to be understood yes um i'll tell you it actually ties into one of my favorite studies that i've ever seen in and i love playing this with people i've played with kids and adults of all ages and it's really fun to do and i encourage our listenership actually to do it at the shabbos table this week but it's called the letter e test and what you do is you ask people to draw a letter e on their forehead now it sounds very simple but you could actually draw the letter e in one of two ways you can draw the letter e so that it makes sense to me but is backwards for you or i can draw the letter e so that it's correct for you but backwards for me and they've studied different types of people how they write the letter e and obviously what it boils down to is do i first and foremost see the world through my own perspective or do i first and foremost see the world through your perspective if i draw the letter e and i do it from your objective that shows that my initial inflation is that before i can care about my own need i'm trying to think of how you understand as you said first seek to understand i'm curious how does robert goldberg view the world how does he view on the other end people who draw the letter e for themselves first obviously view the world from themselves first so that's a it's a cute little game that you can play to sensitize yourself to this idea of are you viewing it through your own perspective first or through other people's perspective no i don't even mean in the biggest you're right and it's a beautiful insight but not only in the big global sense like debating politics i would like we just did this those who learned the deaf we just did this air venue gimbal that basilo always first heard baeshamai's opinion before expressing their own they first sought to understand before being understood that's basilo the reason the gemara says we passed a like base hello is they first listened to beisham i and then they came to their conclusion so i'm but i'm not talking about in the global big sense i'm just talking about you're about to react your spouse your child your friend they did something they left something in the middle of floor they reacted they changed something up on you just ask a question first understand and then you can give your reaction then you can give how you feel and again this is not me it's covey if i were to summarize in one sentence the single most important principle in the field of interpersonal relations imagine we could have a 30-day challenge of first season to understand before being understood yeah hey yeah we have a special guest too just all right yes past his bedtime it's not a school night yet it's not until monday oh not until monday yeah what ruby what are you hearing uh what are you hearing out in the field about uh our policies and and how we're trying to do and any feedback what are your what do you think one second my mom's calling me right now ma what's the latest what do you got it wouldn't it would not be behind the bema if rabbi brodie did not reference his mother yeah no first of all i hear that most people actually very very happy you know there are a few people unfortunately that just don't get it that's just you'll see that in most places but i was actually on the phone today with another large synagogue that's um putting up a tent um for for rosh hashanah a bigger synagogue than we have and i said to them i'm just curious i said are you are you guys air conditioning that tent i said what are you crazy we can't air condition the tent because your air conditioner that's gonna it's more dangerous than being inside i said you know we actually actually just had a very similar question in our community and we're dealing with it and there's no right or wrong and nobody should be vilified and whether you're a certain age or a certain uh condition or fit into a certain demographic or category there's no right or wrong outside inside people are entitled to their opinion and we will accommodate right that's the thing we've also said we'll make any minion on our campus for whatever you need we'll cap it at a certain number we'll make it for a certain demographic it could be people from your development or people who've followed exactly your rules and lifestyle we're open we're wide open to ideas and suggestions as long as it's safe we'll do it and we'll provide it but just give us the courtesy and by the way this is like an unwritten life rule of shul just give us the courtesy of first seek to understand before being understood just show us some curiosity about why we're doing what we're doing and how we came to that conclusion before you tell us why we're totally wrong right but i think also as the rabbis you guys definitely get to hear a lot more negative than positive you know which you're not hearing what most people are saying because they're not calling you and telling you how great everything is you hear from a lot of loud people but it's a very small group of people in the end and i think that most people love everything that's going on right now they're so impressed with what's going on and i'll tell you the truth they wouldn't be able to do it no one has any other ideas so i mean this is this is that's one of the challenges of leadership is sifting through the noise right there there's shopping table conversations there's anecdotal information that you're getting in and as you said we're getting a lot of feedback text messages whatsapp people pulling us over in the supermarket um and you as a leader need to be judicious enough to say okay that's anecdotal this is important this is none and it's hard to sift through and not take everything so personally and not get bent out of shape about every piece of feedback that you get back but that's hard for some people it's very hard some people don't take it to heart there's a reason there's a high correlation between rabbis and having no hair i mean i i had a full head i had a full head of wavy flowing hair before coronavirus i was gonna say i'm all ready well we want to thank again our dear friend donnie oppenheimer law firm at oppenheimerlaw.com thank you for sponsoring sponsorships are available rabbi moskos is also looking for a sponsor for better wi-fi in his house because his audio has been coming in and out the whole night right by moscow we're gonna have to work on that and maybe in my next contract that'll be part of it better wi-fi all right first thank you amazing news i got some great news please simone and i went out uh was it last night we went out for dinner first time in six months like to go out to our restaurant right so we're sitting at this nice uh outdoor space and i'm telling you lisa and ed from skokie came over and they said one second are you the rabbi from behind the bema i said i'm so happy the other guy keeps saying every week that they go out and people come over in muncie and they say oh this the rabbi behind the beef i never get to hear that it was the greatest moment you were recognized it's amazing the truth is behind the bema is uh it's a lot of fun for us and we appreciate that you come along thank you you know it's an outlet for us to be able to discuss and share with you some of our thinking and have fun and debate hot topics we have a lot of fun with it and we appreciate when you rate and review and enable us to get it out to others we were supposed to have an amazing guest tonight she's really a i would say a walking karashishan but she's a running kiddush hashem a speed running kiddush hashem and we're going to have around the future um i will say this if i had a dollar for every person who emailed me today telling me that we should have a mari stadamire on our show we would have a we would have a brand new campus we could cancel the konidre appeal i want to thank the 400 million people who emailed today suggesting amari stadamire and let's just say i can't say anything too soon but there's already been contact and we were told that uh now that the conversion is complete he is coming to america soon and please god he will be he will be a guest i hope we hope i'm behind the beam at some point so behind the beam is only only getting bigger and better we're so we're so grateful for that rabbi moskowitz what are you writing about this week how do you find inspiration for writing these days talk to us about your your writing creativity you went from really hesitating and not wanting to write to now putting out an article every single week what's that like um actually i'm really enjoying it um i see you had been writing many years before me you always can encourage me to do that and i was hard for me to get started but now i'm started i enjoy it a lot my id actually came to me at five o'clock in the morning i woke up and uh i popped my head off the pillow said that's what i'm writing about this week and i ran with today and i see i'm cutting in and out again but i'm actually writing about my cousin my cousin who is a sergeant for the durham north carolina police department and a few years ago he um responded to a call where someone was stuck i don't give the whole thing away but let's just say you responded to a call of someone who was stuck on a train track and instead of running away from it he ran towards it and you'll have to read the article to find out exactly what happened but uh i'm gonna encourage everyone to be a hero not a bystander in uh throughout their lives so that's that's the article this week okay so let me give you some pushback before you write the article no no i wanna it's a it's a kasha rabbi moscow it's against rabbi moshko rabbi moskowitz and here's what i mean by that earlier you said that when we think about arabia who sleeps so few hours a night it puts the pressure on us to sleep that few hours so how do you define is hiro defined differently for different people maybe for someone it's heroic just to get to the end of the day is is the only definition of a hero to run into the fire well you'll have to read the article but um i'm a step ahead of your kasha but yeah my whole argument is that you don't have to run into an oncoming train to be a hero that there are everyday opportunities that you and i face um sometimes they happen in a carpool line sometimes they happen at a water cooler sometimes they happen in conversations in your front yard and we are oftentimes faced with the opportunity of either stepping back right we could be hearing negativity and cynicism we could be hearing bullying right they're all different types of circumstances where you and i could either shrug a shoulder and say okay you know we just saw something we shouldn't have seen or some injustice to a person and we can shrug our shoulders or we can choose to stand up and speak out and i think that's what differentiates a bystander from what i call an upstander someone who runs away from those opportunities versus someone who runs towards an opportunity and my entire thesis is that you don't have to run into a train but they're really opportunities for heroism all around us every single day and it just depends on how we live our lives beautiful looking forward to reading it what are you writing about this week that is an excellent question i was thinking about writing about the first seek to understand before being understood i kind of just got out of my system now i feel a whole lot better a whole lot better now without having to write it so uh we will we will see now we've gotten some feedback in our comments about some protests that we are not on zoom so rabbit bro do you want to share you want to give a little explanation of why we moved over platforms if you're listening behind the bema podcast the the world wrecker world recognized award-winning podcast yeah behind the bima but uh why did we why did we abandon zoom and move over well i think everyone jumped on zoom right after uh corona it was really the only platform and i think most people are as they say zoomed out and i think what we're trying to do is give people a more enjoyable viewing experience obviously the listeners on the podcast won't necessarily see this but we we're just scratching the surface and what's what's you know really available on this new platform so there's gonna be a lot of exciting things coming just be patient everyone's gotta relax and uh you'll see there's no one that doesn't have access to youtube even if you don't have a facebook account everyone can get youtube so it's well there are three ways that you can still watch live on youtube on facebook or rabbi from gilroy.org so there's three ways you can still watch live they're no worse like you said than zoom but it gives us a lot more features a lot more flexibility be able to have guests in a lot more ways and uh and so we're trying it out we're moving and we're still we're looking for everybody's feedback on on the different uh the different views the comments that are coming in and there's there's no benefit to zoom over this let's say zoom is an amazing platform and we're so grateful so much torah has been shared so many meetings have been hosted when you need interactive zoom is is really almost unparalleled it's great uh but for our needs for tonight this has been this has been a great fun i think a successful experiment i'm excited about it i invited someone to come on now for a minute in our closing minute but it's very possible that he's fast asleep in front of his computer screen so he did not see it he might be snoring right now like the dentist or like he's at the barber what if we all yell right now would it wake him up give him one more minute to join because he'd be a lot of fun to sign off one of our dear friends although i think you're more distracted in this platform i know i was gonna say the same thing really first of all we could see when you're on a different screen because your your forehead shines in a different way so so we wow we know we know when you're when you're distracted but i think listen there are a lot of new features you're playing around it's like you get a new toy it's hard to focus i'll tell you it's an interesting point in our closing minutes here because i was telling someone this recently rabbis today don't just have to prepare a shear or a drush or a lecture a talk you are the producer director right creative engineer right how many things are we trying to juggle and balance simultaneously you're trying to share your screen move your source sheets mute that person who you're hearing yell at their spouse like you're doing all these avoid the zoom bomb they're like a million moving parts simultaneously and you are producing and directing and the engineer and no one taught us that in smith isn't that the wrap in it in general i mean no one taught us half of what you do right how much of what you do on a daily basis was covered in our curriculum again i know a lot has changed but whenever you were in smith 20 30 years ago how much how much of it prepared you for the day and day counseling pastoral ceo components leadership management fundraising for sure yeah for sure so you're right but so every day in the rabbin it demands skills that we didn't get beforehand and you got to learn them it's hard by the way the three of us and our rabbinic team for the most part are relatively tech savvy and we're very blessed you know different people on our team even more um but relatively tech-savvy but there are rabbis out there who are dinosaurs to their credit by the way they're probably much more focused and they probably are learning a lot more torah and they're a lot less distracted and they're dinosaurs when it comes to technology but they're also at enormous disadvantage during these months of corona because they don't have that reach or that access or that outlet to be able to share it in the ways that technology gives us so we're constantly learning i am trying to i'm trying to filibuster is that the term and buy time oh here he comes all done i think we woke him up is he pressing the link who's coming out can we get him on board in our closing drumroll [Applause] chef what's happening what's cooking chef have i got tips for you tell us about your special dips during coronavirus what is the latest dip that you're working on this is for everyone who's watching our dear friend chef gershwa aka forrest gump i say that only because he has been around the world and every day you think you know him and everything about him and he tells you oh yeah i was once with the king of this place i was once with this person this famous person chef king of jewish geography chef is a graduate of the cia the culinary institute of america and um he's a dear friend and a funny guy and an amazing chef chef what are you what are you cooking up now uh actually i just uh put together your super sized uh the shook the falafel dip that's the new one tell us about the falafel dip super slice the rabbit gets the super sized super size for the super size listen i would take care of both of you but you know i ordered uh tomatoes this week what what is in a falafel dip since when is falafel so anyway um when you were up at the wedding and you uh messaged me that i need to create this thing so i sat back and said okay so if i was going to do this falafel dip what is it so it it should have every flavor that you could possibly think of as you walk through the shook every every fragrance every spice and so basically it has uh literally every every spice there's uh zakar in there there's turmeric in there there's cumin in there it's got all these flavors and whereas uh the hamish people they take probably frozen falafel they grind it up and throw it in into mayonnaise i actually uh make the falafel with baba beans and the cilantro and the parsley just like in in the uh shook it's the green falafel it's amazing i love it it's got a tremendous flavor profile a nice acidity it brings the heat and every other expression that i know when it comes to raiding food it's really it is delicious what are your favorite chef garish dishes mmm i got the the he just made it this what was it the quinoa jalapeno tomato dip vegan and spicy that's good you like that pecan pie i know by moscow moshe moscow it's his favorite i am partial although it's got to be in the right circumstance in time and place but the uh what what what's it called the beans i haven't learned and you gotta be careful with that you gotta be careful with that very careful with the seven layer but it is delicious with some taco chips chef is a wonderful chef chef we're getting some of our our viewers are actually asking from passaic who was just schwa drone tell us shwadrun how are you related to the maggot of your shallam choirdron uh let's see so my father's father's mother was a daughter of the marshawn amazing wow we're going to wrap it up the hour is late but we're not going to wrap it up without first telling everybody that chef gersh is the most eligible bachelor on the east coast maybe on the entire united states of america he is uh fun fun-loving humorous a fantastic chef has biggest heart loves everybody and chef i know i'm not embarrassing you considering you post regularly that the hashtag getgerschmarried so i'm not embarrassed of you right but uh chef tell me about yourself for for the listening audience and for the woman out there who who of your dreams first of all you could be in touch with us and we'd love to connect you with the chef jeff tell us something about yourself and what you're looking for as we head out tonight i'm looking for the woman that went on friday night i'm sitting at your shabbos table singing asia's kyle i could visualize her beautiful isha yiras phone lines are open now you can be in touch with any one of us chef thanks for joining rabbi thank you so much thanks for being part of it oppenheimer law firm thanks for your sponsorship we've got some amazing guests lined up for the next few weeks some of them still a huge surprise but until then please rate and review our podcast on all the podcast players and let us know what you think about our new streaming service be in touch with us by next week we'd like to have some big news about chef gear so be in touch with us america's most eligible bachelor until then stay happy stay healthy stay holy have a fantastic night everybody