Living with Emunah (Part 354)

Good morning, Booker Tove. Welcome back to Living with Amuna. Just a housekeeping note that we are going to be off for the next two weeks and then we'll resume three weeks from today. We're going to post in the WhatsApp group what the schedule is for the summer so you can plan accordingly. There's plenty to listen to. Amazing speakers uh across the world, so you won't miss us too much. It's good to miss a little bit, but you won't miss us too much. But um we are off for the next two weeks and then we'll be back. Amuna series is generously sponsored by Dr. Avian Bella Morgan in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Gabbid in memory of Bella's mother Dr. and Chanzer and they continue to sponsor in the merit mashem. The hostages should all come home. Our soldiers should all be safe. We should be victorious over our enemies. This morning she responsible for the refu of Jacob Ben Aana Mindle who shows his example how to embrace our place even if it's a hospital bed should have a complete refu by Mary Steiner and David Kish Kishanvski in honor of the yearites of their parents Ella and Solomon Kishanvki in appreciation for all they did for their children and by Leslie Abbott Lisa Gladstone Walowitz in memory of our beloved friend Joe Blumenthal may his nama have and aliyah thank you for that generosity and I'll start there with my own amuna I don't have to write it. I could just say it because it happened to me. But last week, we did lose our community suffered a tremendous loss. Joe Blumenthal, our dear friend, way too early, way too young, a very, very special person, a dear friend of mine, somebody with the biggest heart, somebody who was a beloved friend, somebody who was loved by all. And with the July 4th weekend and the cemetery closed Friday and Sunday, there was a urgency to get up there and to have the Levia and the burial on Thursday. And I was to go with the family. And I do consider it as close the merit to be with the family and the opportunity to officiate and it's one of the privileges and responsibilities of the rabbinet but you you become good friends and you have the privilege of being able to give a eulogy a husband and to be able to bury. So I I won't take you through the whole story my wife had to suffer through it but we took an early flight up last Thursday morning and um I was I uncharacteristically was running a drop late. It was very early and I pulled into the first valet at Fort Lauderdale airport because I was supposed to come home that night. So I figured holiday weekend, don't fight for parking, just valet. And therefore when I land that night, the car will be waiting. It'll all be good. Right? I get to the first valet and there are like a million cars. And I try to pull over and park and the guy comes over. He says, "We're closed. We can't take any more cars. There's no one to park all of these." I said, "I I've got to go do a funeral for a dear friend. They're counting on you. You have to take my car." And he said, "We can't. You're closed. Go to the next valley. You'll be fine. Okay. I thought if I go to the next valet, then I'm going to have to like pull an OJ running through the airport to get to my terminal. But okay, I'm up to it. I'm up for it. So, I'm good. I'm going to try it. Anyway, I go to the next valet and there's cars backed up all the way. I didn't realize how far backed up they were. And I was trying to cut in, not realize I was cutting off someone who lowered his window and threatened my life in like three separate languages, which was fine. I didn't realize. I apologized. I told him I didn't understand where the line was. And I pulled out. And if you know Fort Lauderdale airport, you have to sort of go through cones to get to the valet and then there's cones sectioning off that from the regular road. So now I was outside those cones on the regular road in a state of panic, not sure what to do because if I had to go try to find parking, it was never going to happen and I was going to miss the flight and the funeral and the family was counting on me and I wanted to go there and be there and send off my good friend. And I didn't know what to do and I just looked at the decal in my windshield. Embrace your place. You are where you're meant to be. had a little conversation with Hashem. Didn't know what that meant. I am where I'm supposed to be. And then I don't know what got into me, but I just got out of my car and gathered my things and handed my key with a large bill that was in my wallet to a valet guy and I said, "I'm leaving my car. Here's the key. This money's for you. You can give me a ticket or not, but either way, I'm going because I have to make this flight." And he looked up at me. I had no idea what to say or do. So, next thing I know, he handed me a ticket. And the next day, my car was there. And that was the adventure that began it and my decal which got me through it because I'm not only the presenter of living with Amuna, I'm also a member and I try to uh I try to learn from it and live with it. And then the weather was insane last week for those who tried to make their way back, right? Leslie knows this well. What time did you come in? And all the flights that night were delayed and canceled and delayed and canceled. And my brilliant sagacious wife said to me, "Ar, having been through this many times when my eight o'clock flight back was moved to nine and then to 10 and it was well on its way." She said, "Why don't you switch to the first flight out tomorrow morning? Whatever the problems are tonight, I don't know if they'll ever take off. They end up getting so late that the pilots time out. They cancel the flight once you've waited there anyway. Just the first flight's always on time. So, switch to the first flight." And she was 100% right. It was good advice. And that's what I did. And I took an Uber from LaGuardia back to my in-laws in the five towns so I could sleep there that night. Got up early the next morning. When I got up early the next morning for my six something flight, my flight from the night before had not yet landed. So it was good that I switched from it, right? But I woke up to find out that my flight was now taking off at 11:30 a.m. and was getting pushed and pushed. And now I was worried, would I make it home for Shabas? And I want to tell you, and that's why I'm telling you this story. I just kept looking at the back of my phone. Embrace your place. you are where you're meant to be. And I kept saying to myself, this is I'm trying to demonstrate from you as somebody who felt my blood pressure rise and my panic and my pulse and my fear I'm not going to make the flight. I won't make it home for Shabas. What's going to be that when you lean into Amuna and you say, "Hashem, you've got a plan and whatever is going to be." And then you also like stoicism picture the worst case scenario and say, "Can I live with it?" And I said, "Well, what happens if it keeps getting delayed, gets canceled altogether, gets so late I can't get on it because I won't make it back for Shabas? I could stay at my in-laws. I could stay at my daughter in sick. We'll figure it out. The shul will survive. We'll more than survive. No one ever complained when there wasn't a drussia. They'll make it. So when you can picture the worst case scenario and you can live with it, then you can find the strength to get through anything. And when you realize it's not up to this is Hashem's adventure. I'm on an adventure. Can't wait to see how it ends. This is so exciting. Let's see what's going to be. I'm going to get a story for the amunes here. And I'm going to take an Uber driver who's going to talk on the phone and give me a dr if I do make it back. for those who were here last Shabas and life is all one big full adventure and I'm sharing my own personal story because it's an example and a demonstration of in the circumstances and the curveballs that life throws our way which in the scheme of things were nothing and no big deal a delayed flight even if I would have missed that flight in the funeral it would have been devastating but could have survived worst case scenario it would have worked out so if you can pause we often don't realize that in between the experience and our reaction to it there's a pause. There's a moment. We think that our emotion is automatic. It's automatic. I'm anxious. I'm worried. I'm angry. I'm nervous. I'm jealous. I We think it's automatic. How I feel is automatic. But when we realize there's a pause, there's a pregnant pause between what's happening and how we react. And that's how I felt in that moment when I was driving from the first violator to the second. I was just looking at that decal in my windshield. Okay, Hashem, I feel panic, but I'm going to control it and regulate it. In that pause, I'm gonna control myself by remembering you're in charge. You're in control and this is what's going to happen is is your call and it's going to be what's meant to be. So, by definition, it's all going to be good. and then at the second valet when it wasn't working out and then when the flight was delayed and ultimately and so on. And so we all have don't ever forfeit the pause. Don't ever neglect or gloss over or fly right through that pause. There's a pause between this what the stimulant what happens and the reaction. And what happens by the way can be nature weather and delays. What happens can be the valet are not accepting cars. What happens can be your spouse or children or your colleague or someone says something or does something that makes you want to feel a certain way but between what people say or do or what the world or nature says or does and the way you react in between there is a pause and it's in that pause that we decide how we're going to react and how we're going to feel. I've said it many times others have quoted it. It's not my own. I just mentioned it at the Tanya should this morning, but it's the difference between the thermometer and the thermostat. The thermometer reports the temperature. Thermometer tells you this is the temperature. It's reporting data and information. And the thermostat controls the temperature. So, you can decide, are you a thermometer or a thermostat? Are you a thermometer that just reports to other people your temperature? I'm angry. I'm anxious. I'm impatient. I'm worried. I Or I'm happy. I'm happy. Things are good. things are. Are you just a thermometer that reports how you feel or are you a thermostat that regulates and changes the temperature of how you feel? When I gave it to the men at the Tanya, I said, "You're a thermostat and then your wife comes and changes the temperature, but at least you at least you set the temperature." A little riskier to make that joke in here. But so we all decide and we all determine are you the thermometer or are you the thermostat in between the catalyst and the stimulant there is a and the reaction there is that pause and we can decide am I leaning into amuna am I surrendering to Hashem am I recognizing no matter how hard I try or what I do I'm going according to his plan this is going to work out the way he wants it to work out and I want to tell you a piece of Torah on this week's para that connects to what I'm telling you and I almost had to embrace it in that moment But the tells us in par and whether whatever whenever Spotify decided whoever is listening that you should listen to this this Torah is relevant whether it's or not but says bum negotiates with God. He really wants to go and even though I said Hashem said no, he insists. He really wants to go and he mutters and bothers Hashem till Hashem finally either says yes or Bam simply interprets and hears a yes and he's on his way and what happens. An angel of Hashem stood on the road satan low art scroll here translates it as to impede him to block him to block his way. But what does the word list Satan? What does it really mean? What's the root of the word Satan? The Sultan, the Satan. In other words, how did Bum experience this? I really want to go. Balak, the king of of Moab, has recruited me, has hired me, is willing to pay me to be able to go and curse the Jewish people. And I desperately really want to go. I want to go. And now there's this thing blocking me. There's this thing impeding me. There's this thing in my way. And how does Bum experience and describe what's blocking him and impeding him? Listen, he says the Satan's in my way. This valet guy is the Satan. JetBlue is the Satan. The thunder and lightning, the storm system on the east coast is the Satan. The traffic that's in front of me and I just want to get where I'm going is the Satan. The server who didn't bring me my dish on time or forgot that I said I hate cilantro, leave it out, is the Satan. My spouse who keeps changing the thermostat or says things or does things different than I want him or her to. They're the satan. How do we interpret the people and things that block and impede us? The people and things. What do I want that sh? What do you mean they didn't give a yes? What do you mean the shah didn't get back to you? What do you mean? But I desperately am longing and waiting and want that child. What do you mean? What do you mean on the pregnancy test again? There's only one line. What do you mean? people at different level, different level of consequence, different issues. We experience these things as Satan though the Satan is blocking me. The Satan is impeding me. This person or this act of nature or this event or this experience is the Satan. The Satan is blocking me, impeding me, stopping me. Satan love from what I want from what I want. That's how bum experiences this. It's the zakashi. What does Rashi say? Rashi writes, "What Bum experienced as the Sultan, as the Satan was an angel of compassion and kindness." What? Bum just wants to go where he's going. And now this angel is blocking the path. His donkey stops. He ends up hitting the donkey. The donkey has the whole conversation. We all know how this goes. But this thing that's blocking him that he experiences a satan. Rashi says, "It's not Satan. It's not a satan. What is it? And so often in our lives, our path is obstructed and a door closes and an opportunity slips away and we get frustrated, angry, resentful, bitter, stuck, unable to move on. A proposed shik doesn't work out. A company decides to hire someone else or give someone else the promotion. The house went to a higher bidder and the house we were set on and so excited about we lost it and we walk we walk along the path of life and we think it's suddenly blocked and we can't go where we want to go and the satan this Satan is blocking us and at first it feels like it's the sut it's sabotaging our efforts and it's ruining our ruining our lives but we need to know and we need to believe that when we run into a wall and we've done all we can to get over it or run around it or run through it And we can't when we've hit that wall. We didn't get that job. We didn't get that promotion. The sh was a no. Whatever wall we run into that feels like it's the satan. We need to know and believe it's a malik. It is an angel of kindness and compassion sent by Hashem to close that door and open another to reroute us and redirect us to take us a different path in a different way because Hashem is the ultimate GPS. He is the ultimate GPS who guides us to our destination. And sometimes as in Bam's case, we start heading in the wrong direction and Hashem reroutes us by blocking our path. And whenever we experience disappointment, whenever an opportunity look perfect fails to materialize, we have to muster the faith to believe and to know and to surrender. Hashem, thank you for that. Can you imagine getting on that level? You can. You know why? Because I get emails every day from people who do. Hashem, thank you I didn't get that job. Hashem, thank you that thing didn't work out. I really wanted it. I thought it was best for me, but thank you because you know better. And if it's a competition between your infinite view and my finite one, let's go with yours. And I'm going to work on myself to not feel and therefore grow bitter and resentful or angry, disappointed that it was the Satan, but instead to recognize that it's a that a door closes its compassion and kindness from Hashem. And in fact, you see this also in the para because when Bum's donkey talks back to him and now he says to the donkey, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He says to the Malik who was blocking his way. I said, "I made a mistake because I didn't know. Here I am smacking my donkey, but all along it was you. I'm banging the steering wheel and yelling, "Hey, road, clear up. Hey, light, turn green. Hey, traffic, open up." And the imagine, you can imagine because today with AI, like your steering wheel is going to talk back to you and say, "Hey buddy, take it easy. What did I do to you?" Right? You're going to smack the steering wheel, smack the dashboard, and now with AI, it's going to talk back to you and say, "Hey, what what did I do to you? I don't control the traffic or the lights. Could you could you ease up a little bit on smacking me around?" So donkey says, "What are you doing? I'm not blocking you. Ease up on smacking me around. And Bam then apologizes to the angel and says, "I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. I did I didn't know." So the commentary is the mafam ask which is it or if loyadi if you couldn't see this angel was invisible and you didn't know it was blocking your donkey, then why are you apologizing? Then why are you saying I sinned? I made a mistake. It's on me. And if you're saying I sinned, I made a mistake. It's on me. Then how can you claim loyati? Which is it? Seems to be a steam. It's a contradiction. Is it ori? I'm sorry. I was wrong or I didn't know. There's no way I could have known. Which is it? And I saw I forget. I apologize. I don't remember. They deserve for me to quote it in their name. But years ago, I saw a beautiful interpretation. You know why I'm sorry and where I came up wrong? I didn't see the signal. I didn't pick up on the message. I didn't read the room. I didn't understand what the world and what Hashem was telling me by my path being blocked. And when my path was blocked, I tried to smack the people around me and blame them instead of recognizing this door has closed and I should embrace my place. What Bum was saying was you know where my mistake was because I didn't know I'm supposed to embrace my place and I am where I'm meant to be. That's the I made a mistake that I didn't know that this is where I meant to be. That was my mistake. My mistake is I didn't embrace my place. I didn't have the decal on my donkey's ear that says embrace your place. You are where you're meant to be. That's the that's so as we go through life and we are Yes, Ben. When we are bad, when we're on the road and there's things that block us, it's a delayed flight, a canceled flight. It's the V valet guy not cooperative. It's a red light. It's the traffic. It's the people who we wanted to leave by this time and we even made up a time knowing they'd be late and we intended a later time and they're later even than our madeup time and our later time and they're making us late. And now we're all angry and we're going to ruin this vacation or the family trip we're about to go on. All because the people didn't act on my schedule. Take a deep breath and embrace that pause and remember that you're a thermostat, not a thermometer. And understand that whatever is blocking your path is a it's a the was a no. Don't get stuck and don't be bitter and don't waste time and important emotional energy about the no. Instead, realize that was a you have no idea what you were just saved from. And if you don't get that promotion and you didn't get that job and you didn't get that business deal and your your customer or client didn't act in good faith and follow through, don't see them as the satan as the Satan. Understand they're a malikim. They are somehow an agent and ambassador of Hashem of kindness who stopped you from getting into some mess. Who knows the loss you would have had? Who knows how much time or aggravation it would have caused? Who know where it would have led to? The very things that feel like a satan can or often are a mal. That's the lesson of this para among so many others. But that bum who was so insistent and he wanted to break through and he just wanted to get where he was going that he thought would bring him fame and fortune. We spoke yesterday about bumam is the first grifter. You know what a grifter is? Candace and Tucker and countless others of these media personalities are grifters. A grifter is someone who doesn't have principles or values. They go wherever the fame and fortune are. Whatever will bring the most viewers, the most followers. Whatever will bring them the most money, that's where they go. Bam. Gamar Kazal says, Bam is bum has no nation, no people. Bum is a prophet for hire. Whoever will pay pay them the most money, he'll curse whoever you want him to curse. Just like Candace, whoever pays the most, just like Tucker, whoever Qatar, whoever will pay or wire the most money, they have no loyalty, fidelity, they'll curse whoever you want them to curse because Bum is bam. He's the original grifter. And he has many spiritual descendants that we're suffering from today. Bam is the first grifter. And because he just wants to get to that place of fame and fortune, he sees whatever is in his way as the Satan. And Rashi says, "No, no, no. It's a mal. It's a mal." We say who is a sitter? Anyone have a sitter? What do we say in ashray? Thank you. Tell you one last part of this idea and then we'll start learning. We've been learning all along. We say in ash we say the will of those who fear him. He will do. He'll do our will. So be careful where your ratson is. Oh, there you go. That's a coincidence. Not. Yeah, there you go. There's an You see a hug and a wink from Hashem. We just got that. We just had a group appropriately, but a group hug from Hashem. On the top of the page that we're learning are these words. So the PK I'm looking for is right in front of us on top of the page that we're learning. So we say the will of Hashem he does. So be careful where your zone is. Remember last week I went into my pic about be careful where your r is. Be careful why you do the zone. So be careful what you wish for. Be careful. But you don't have to worry. You don't have to be too careful. You know why? He hears our cry and he saves us. What is he saving us from? You know what he saves us from? Sometimes he saves us from what we want. Here we come to Dav and we say, "Hashem, Hashem, let this sh go through. Let this job work out. Let me close with this client. Let me buy this house. Let this thing happen exactly the way I want. That's my rats on Hashem. So, if it's my ruts and I want it to be yours, too. That's my will and my want. Hashem, make it happen. That's my amun. And I go to the shir. I sign up for all the WhatsApp groups. I get all the emails. I bought volume eight of living amuna. I'm in. I'm all in on am. So now do what I want. Right. Be careful what you want and what you wish for. That's what the that's what the p ends. He hears us. Because he hears us sometimes he has to save us from ourselves. The Yoshim is not save us from Iran and the Yoshim is who who does he have to save us from? Sometimes he has to save us from ourselves. Ourselves. We're insistent. Hashem, let me run through that wall. Hashem, give me that sh. Give me that job. Give me that house. Give me that. And sometimes because he's listening to us, because he cares what we think and want, because we're because he's listening to our he has to save us sometimes from ourselves. And that's what Bum didn't realize that angel is blocking your path. I didn't realize, you know, if I didn't work it out, if I didn't have that large bill, I'm embarrassed to tell you how large, in my wallet that I handed with the key and make that brazen move that I have no idea where I learned that from. If I didn't do that, if I didn't do that, it was the Malim, it means I wasn't meant to go and officiate and fly and be there. We have to know, don't be too disappointed. Don't beat yourself up. Don't be too upset. There's a beautiful this past Shabas and the brother of the didn't make it here. His flight wasn't delayed. It was canceled. He didn't make it. It's a mal. I don't know how. I don't know if he knows how or why or when or if in his life he'll ever figure out. But that's the effort. That's our mission of amuna. The amuna and means means living a life where you don't see the things that block you as the satan. You see them as a when you see a door close, you don't say how could you? You say thank you. I don't know what was behind that door. I may find out. I may never find out. But what I know is yes, you heard me and you saved me from myself. So even though from our finite perspective, we can only do the best that we can do. So you'll say, by the way, if I were listening to me right now, I'd say I'd ask, then why try? Why bother? Why take any initiative? Why do anything? Because we may be mistaken, why engage the process because we may say yes to the wrong person? Why go for a job? Why apply for the for the um promotion? Maybe it's not right for it. The answer is we have to take our initiative from our finite perspective. We interpret, we analyze, we consult, we do the best we can and we live life the best that we can. But when we get to the wall, when we hit that wall, that's when we're meant to interpret not that it's the Satan, but it's the Malikim. And if yati, if in those moments we fail. I almost failed. I almost failed. Trust me, I was anxious. I was nervous. I almost failed. I almost fa I give the ammonia. I almost failed several times over those couple days. I almost failed. Came very close. But is to not know that I am where I'm meant to be and to know to embrace my place and to recognize that if a door closed it's that's read a couple emails and then we'll get back to finishing this peric in our wonderful I told you I would and I did last week post the link arts girl just put it out in English. We've been learning it since it came out in Hebrew but you can now get it in English as well. But let's read a couple emails. Hope you're doing well safe and well too. I want to share the following. I'm in a story which happened today. I was driving to a place an hour away. As I was driving, I saw a very bad car crash on the side of the road. There was someone on the side street walking and talking. Through hand gestures, I could tell one of the cars was his. Normally, I just keep driving, but something made me think, not knowing if someone had called already, I called and informed 911 of the accident. Then I continued on with my day. Side note, something I try to do whenever I see an accident on the side of the road or a car pulled over with their flashes on say, "Thank you, Hashem, for having me be safe." I say this because of a shir I heard from Rabbi Wallerstein many years ago but how when we say over one thinks it means to erase the evil decree but he went on to explain how it really means to change the decree from bad to good it could be you were meant to be in the bad situation it was changed to be that instead you would be but instead just passing through how you're going to be and the role you will play in that situation is determined on rash kipper and depending on your situation at that time so meaning when you god forbid see something happening to another of course dive in for that person. Call 911. Do you can to help the person but also stop and say wow I'm so grateful that I'm safe and well and use the contrast to remind you how blessed you are to say thank you. Person continues that afternoon I was driving back from this place and a car hit me from the side as well as another car. It was a minor accident but I was a bit stunned to say the least. Shout out to my sister who I called who barish picked up as soon as I called. Told her what happened asked her what to do. She was an incredible aid saying calm cool collected objective from me when I couldn't think straight. Person who caused the accident didn't speak English and I later learned had no car insurance no license and in fact wasn't even his car but his friends. I'll say to his credit he didn't drive off when the accident occurred as he could have. My sister went on about navigating the whole thing giving me suggestions what to do how to handle this even went so far as to ask me in the middle of her shift as a PA in the ER. Does anyone here speak Spanish? Which in retrospect makes me laugh. I'm so grateful to her was because of her I was able to figure out a payment plan for the person the damages. As I got into my car and kept driving, I thought back to that morning. Hashem decided I would be in an accident that day and bari had me be in the minor accident where no one was injured. All cars still completely drivable without anything but superficial parts of the car injured and gave me an incredibly kind and awesome sister who helped me throughout. I later thought back to the Amuna story I heard several months ago about a guy who hurt himself on a track while running, meaning a story we read in our year. You remember it? But hadn't been on a road, a major street or something like that. Hashem decides all and I'm grateful for how it was able to be handled calmly and clearly. Thank you for the platform for me to write and send this sh. So again, you could be bitter and miserable. I can't believe I was in an accident. Or you could have passed a worse accident that morning and say, "Thank you, Hashem, that it was only a minor accident and I'm so grateful for you from above." Dear Goldberg, is a continuation of the previous email. Me and my husband are expecting. Thank God I feel so grateful especially after the miscarriage. I really feel like Hashem answered all my fellowos. But I can't help but also feel anxious, and I'll tell you why. My first pregnancy with my daughter was a roller coaster. At our anatomy scan, we received the news that my daughter had a very poor prognosis. They gave us all the worst outcomes. I started going to the high-risisk doctor twice a week. They prepared me to deliver as early as 26 weeks. Hashem proved them all wrong, and I ended up making it to 37 weeks. My daughter was only three pounds. The doctor told us she was the smallest 37 weaker he'd ever seen. Hashem, she was a total complete miracle, and I thank Hashem every day. She is now a thriving, healthy toddler living her best life. And we're so incredibly grateful. My anatomy scan for this pregnancy is coming up this week. And although I keep telling myself everything will be okay, and my daughter's living proof that doctors can be wrong, I need to have a moon and hashem, I can't help but feel scared and anxious. I tried ignoring my feelings of fear and distracting myself, telling myself again and again that I need amuna and it's wrong to feel anxious. But then I realized something very important and I changed my thinking. Your shirum have helped me internalize that having amuna does not mean you should ignore your feelings of fear. For me right now, amuna means that I'm anxious, but I know that Hashem is holding my hand through it all and that I'm not alone. And that in itself provides me with so much comfort. My feeling of anxiety have not gone away and I'm not ignoring them. Having amuna means that I am where I meant to be. So I embracing my anxious thoughts but also thinking positively at the same time. And yes, you can do both. Thank you for the looking forward to sharing good news in Hashem. So again, I like this also because this is a theme that we keep coming back to. don't take away our humanity. They don't ask you to be a robot. They don't demand of you to deny or to suppress your feelings and mean you are human and we have human feelings and emotions and reactions. What amun do is they empower us to be the thermostat not the thermometer. That's what do I'll continue that analogy. You know in a schul or public place often the thermostat is under lock and key who has access we should give it to the highest bidder sh the largest donation you get to control the temperature in the rand sanctuary we'll add it to the shul dinner auction list controlling the thermostat but it's a you know it's a it's a privilege who gets access to the thermostat today it's not under a literal lock and key today who has the app with the password to virtually control the temperature and give us the key to our thermometer to our thermostat rather than just be a thermometer who reports this is how I feel. I can't change it. I can't control it. I'm anxious. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm unhappy. I'm miserable. Rather than be a ther thermometer who simply reports how we feel. What gives us access to control the thermostat? But it begins by realizing I'm cold or you know it's very hot in here. The thermostat begins with recognizing I'm not comfortable with the temperature. I want to change the thermostat. It's okay to be anxious. There are if you're not anxious check if you're alive. There are situations in life that you need to be anxious. We spoke about this last week or two weeks ago. The most dangerous thing are the children who are fearless. Right? We spoke about the toons, the tourist morons who hang on the edge of the cliff. If you're fearless, you're in danger of losing your life. If you're fearless, if you go up and try to take a picture, a selfie with a bear in Montana, you're a You're a You're a tourist a toan. And there's no shortage of them. Fear is very healthy. Don't mean don't have fear. They mean regulate it, control it, be in charge of it. and give us the key and the password to be able to figure it out and to be able to navigate it. So, I love that email. You're going for a scan and previously you had challenges. You wouldn't be alive if you weren't a little bit anxious, a little nervous, a little excited to find out and to see what Hashem has in store on that scan. That's healthy. That's called being alive. Now, what do you do with it? Do you say it to do you lean into it with Do you recognize and embrace your place that Hashem is with you in that scan? That's what give us and enable us to do. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, our family enjoys listening to living with the nervous while we are preparing. The kids enjoy the stories. You never know what message they might absorb. I have a dear friend who sends me a video every week of his wife making and mixing her potato kogle while the amunir is playing. And he says they're baking the amunir into the potato kug. Borashem Iran has passed and we are in a ceasefire. Since October 7th until now, every time a siren went off, myself, husband, and seven kids, never found ourselves without a building close by or in our home. That was until Tuesday night when we got a call. My 15-year-old daughter was out shopping with her 11-year-old sister when someone told her they got an update on their phone. My daughter, is normally cautious, said she'll go on the bus home since she knows it's a ceasefire and our neighborhood does not always get the siren after the update. Sure enough, this was with the Houthis. Do you remember the next day after the ceasefire with Iran, there was then a siren because those Houthis Yamah shot a ballistic missile. So this 15year-old and 11year-old got on the bus. They thought they had enough time to get home. Sure enough, 3 minutes later, while they were on the bus, the sign went off. They exited the bus. They got on the side of the road where there was no shelter until the bus driver decided they could continue. When she got home, she ran and it said, "All I kept thinking was, I am where I meant to be and that kept me calm. Please email Rabbi Goldberg and tell him. That's what the 15-year-old said. Lying on the ground on the side of a bus, hoping that a ballistic missile shot from Yemen wouldn't hit her, she embraced her place and said, "I am where I'm meant to be." Wow. Thank you for inspiring my whole family to embrace their place. These are the stories. These are the hotspots. This is the high-speed Wi-Fi. This is what we connect to. This is what elevates us, our heroes. What they all lived with. 10 million. There's a family visiting last Shabas from Israel. And the father told me that when they got to the house that they were staying in, the first thing his little child said was, "Where's the mammad? Where's the mad?" And then, while the rest of us might have heard fireworks being shot Friday night or Mo Shabas, that family was up all night and traumatized by the sounds of fireworks celebrating July 4th. But if you're visiting from Israel, that has a whole other meaning. But Nebach, there are millions of children in Israel who wherever they go in the world, the first thought they'll have is, "Where's the mama?" That's not right. That's not fair. That's not just. That's not the way it should be. That's what we have to fight. That's what we dabin for. But when a 15-year-old says, "Lying on the side of the road next to the bus, I wasn't afraid of the Houthis. I embraced my place. Please email Rabbi Goldberg." That's amazing. That's amazing. Dear Rabbi Goldberg, I I have so many emails and I'm so grateful for them. I can't get to them all. So, we'll just read a couple more and then we'll finish up this parrot. I as well as my 19-year-old daughter have written before about you are where you're meant to be moments. I did want to respond to the latest episode. I've been listening for several years in response to a person in the sign at home and the shar has given me great and perspective. I try to internalize the message you teach from various farm which I appreciate the diversity and I enjoy the letters you read. The last letter from Israel, I'm assuming it was a mom who has a son in the IDF with PTSD and did not want to run to the shelter as well as sharing with us her spiritual struggles, brought tears to my eyes, which honestly is not a difficult thing for me as I am emotional. Hungarian parents survivors, but I cried even more so. Her honesty was raw and real. And as you said, the listening to experience is the living with Amunes. You remember last week's email? I want to tell you about Mik. Do you know how many emails I got asking, do you have the name of that soldier with PTSD? so I can do it for him. And I emailed that mother who was so blown away. She gave me the name. I'm not going to say it publicly, but I am sending it to whoever asked because she I don't want that son to figure out that we're all talking about him, but we wish him well. And how many are there like him who some are suffering now, some it may come later, hopefully never, but who've been through things they should never be through or ever see. Back to this email, if possible, can you relate to her? And that's why I'm reading this email because I want her to hear. Can you please relay to her that we here in the diaspora are very much connected to the pain and worry and fear they are experiencing in Israel. Obviously, albeit on a lesser level. First time I was able to speak to my cousin in Israel in the midst of the 12-day war. I cried when I heard her voice finally so relieved to hear it and she laughed reassuring me that they are fine. I have not sent her ice coffees or whatnot says I don't know how to do that. I send my love through WhatsApp messages and doin constantly. I also write. It's my therapy and I know that others appreciate it because they too are thinking the same thing. And I share these thoughts with my Israeli people. During the school year in my preschool classroom of 5-year-old Leed boys, we sing in Davin and the are very real to them. When we say matas and for those who are stuck to get unstuck, the parents very much appreciate the these simple faith of these kids is astounding. And it was during the last week of school in the 12-day war when they were singing au that it really hit home the fear that you are living with. As I looked at my students and envisioned their peers on the other side of the ocean, running to a shelter, not having a normal childhood, a significant portion of their childhood, I and my assistant could not sing with the children as we were crying. So, yes, an from afar. Please know you're very much in our hearts and thoughts and prayers and tears. Thank you for the podcast and holy work. Continue. We should hear Yeshu. I have a big pile. I'll just tell you one more. This one's in Hebrew. Someone sent me and I love it. There's a um there's a show in Israel apparently, a cooking show called Tamim Shabbat, the tastes of Shabas. And the chef who runs the show, the taste of Shabas, Tamim Shabbat, says he's not religious. But on a recent episode, he got emotional and choked up when he mentioned that he puts on fillin every day. And he finishes each show by thanking Hashem. By saying that when he drives home after the show, he feels a very strong kesher with Hashem. Even though he keeps but I'm not religious. I'm not religious. I'm not dati. But I'm not religious. I'm not that. But I put on fillin and every time I leave the show I go home and feel a close to Hashem. And the show is called Tamim Shabbat. A cooking show called the taste of Shabbat. But I want you to know I'm not religious. So that kind of not religious. We could use more of the not religious. I feel a close kher with hashem puts filling on every day and have a cooking show called the taste of shabas. That kind of not religious. We could live with such not religious we could use a little bit a little bit more of. Okay this is hard for me but we're going to stop here and we'll save no one more. One more because it too is the amunishir and this will take us into our learning. One more. I thought about writing to you many times. In fact, almost every week while driving and listening to the Munishir, the thought crosses my mind. But I usually hesitate, think about it again in the red, you regretfully let it go. So here I am sitting in my ambulance during a shift with MDA with my gain in northern Israel, finally writing to an amuna dilemma that only Arav can truly help with. We know that Amis Israel has been through so much these past few years. Our faith is constantly being tested. I'm only 23 and have already attended more funerals of people my age than anyone should. I have a daughter in Israel. We have a daughter in Israel this summer on a beautiful program. She just we woke up this morning to a text from her that today they took the program to line the streets of a family on one of on their way to bury their loved one, one of the soldiers who was killed a couple days ago. It had such an impact on her. I won't violate her privacy. She sent us a beautiful text about a personal decision that she made because she was so moved in the memory of this soldier who won't be able to live in this world at such a young age. How old is she? 15. So, a 15-year-old going to a soldier of a going to a funeral of a young soldier. And imagine this, the letter, the writer of this email. I'm only 23 and I've attended more funerals of people my age than anyone should. I have close friends on the front line all over the country and someone who will now live on only in our hearts. And yet, despite all of this, my amuna with Hashem has never been stronger. It's not perfect, but it's definitely something people notice. my friends, colleagues, and even strangers. They feel it. And they all have questions. So many questions, Rabbi. The hard ones. The kinds that make you pause. The kind that challenge our understanding of Hashem's love, justice, and mercy. Growing up in a Kira focused home, I learned early on how delicate one must be when a Yid begins to search for more. A thoughtful answer can draw in Hashem closer. A careless one can push it further away. I'll give you an example that highlights my dilemma. One of my closest friends who grew up in a completely secular home started coming over to our house on Friday nights after the meal for some just to hang out. Over time, he started to ask questions, deep real questions, and we did the best we could, but he usually laughed and left unsatisfied with our answers. A few weeks ago, he was sent into Gaza. And one day, he called me. I picked up quickly, worried at first, but there he was on some rooftop, explosions behind him, just wanting to talk on FaceTime. I can't quite describe how insane modern war is, but yes, one of my friends was video calling me from an active war zone just to talk and catch up. We joked around nervously for a bit, and then he told me that he and the guys on his team had been having long, meaningful conversations every night about life, faith, and Hashem. That's what IDF soldiers do in Gaza. I don't know, and I'm not judging what other soldiers of other countries do where they are deployed at night in their few minutes, but that's what our holy soldiers do. They have long, meaningful conversations about life, faith, and Hashem. Wow. And then came the hard questions. If he's so merciful, how could he let this happen to us? If I'm supposed to believe in God, why does he cause so much suffering? Why do good people die while the evil live? Why do children get sick? I paused for a moment, carefully thinking about how to answer. But all that came to my mind was, I don't know, not a rabbi. How am I going to answer? Why is he asking me? I then realized the responsibility and the opportunity Hashem had given me to not only spread the light of bear, but also give him in the situation he was in. I did my best to answer, but that not definitively. But from the knowledge I have and from the in my heart, my question to you, Rabbi, is how should I have answered? What should I say when these questions come up? Who should I refer them to? Is there a correct way to answer? Thank you and good chabas. Wow. Wow. There's a lot of parts to that email. How he's been to more funerals than anyone his age should and yet his amuna in Hashem has never been stronger and strangers can see it on his face. That's an unbelievable part. That's you should frame that and put that on your wall. that part of the that part of the email that soldiers in Gaza are sitting up having long conversations at night about life, faith, and Hashem. Frame that, put that up on your wall. These questions, they're tough. These are tough. So, let's get back into it a little bit. And uh maybe over the next few shim, again, we're taking a two week break, but when we come back, maybe we'll try to get into them a little bit more. Let's just finish this paragraph and know that we finished this peric and pick up with a new lemud when we resume. We're on page M. the left hand column Hashem. So if money is the biggest money can be the biggest right where did bam go wrong because he saw that which was impeding him or blocking him that's the sat. So money the drive the temptation the quest the longing the corruption the pursuit the misuse the abuse money could be a big sut in our life. So how should one act with m with money on always ask yourself what does Hashem want me to do in this moment? How does he want me to spend it? Where does he want me to give it? How does he want me to report it on my t? What does he want me to do? Give as much as you can. Your first reaction should be not be to lock down. You know we're all born in the world. We come we're born with a closed fist. And when a person is buried, their hand is open. But don't wait to die for your hand to open up. There's no greater pleasure in the world than giving while you're alive. Paradoxically, the only thing you could take with you to the next world is what you gave away in this one. What you tried to hold on to, you can't take with you. But what you gave away, you do. It's a continuation of this. Give poor people who need help invest in spreading the light of Torah without explicit criticism of the organizations and the alphabet soup who were supposed to be fighting anti-semitism the last several years. But literally tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars went into them with the result and the return being more anti-semitism than ever. Imagine if instead those hundreds of millions of dollars went into Jewish education. Imagine if they went into outreach. Imagine if they went into connecting with our millions of brothers of Jewish brothers and sisters to expose them to the light and the beauty of Torah. Imagine. Imagine instead the answer to anti-semitism is not the alphabet soup of organizations. It's Jewish practice and Jewish pride and Jewish learning and Jewish observance. That's what it is. So invest what what should we be doing with our money? Helping people who need poor people. What should we doing with our money? Investing in the spreading of Torah. So what comes out what comes out says is that the path the instruction of our sacred Torah by avoiding the negative the wrong and pursuing the correct the right that through that if we could live a life of mindfulness. If we could be a thermostat not a thermometer. If we could be present and aware and conscious and conscientious. If we bring the right attitude, the right mindfulness, the right perspective with money that Hashem, you close some doors, you open others. I have what I meant to have. You provide. No one can take from me. This is what we've been learning about. I don't have to worry about competitors because nobody can take what I meant to have. I should be generous and kind to competitors. I should offer to help competitors because there's no such thing as a competitor. Nobody could take what I meant to have. And therefore, yes, sometimes you have to invoice and bill. Sometimes you have to send someone to collections. Sometimes even it's okay to take someone to a din Torah because they owe you money. But all the while recognize that whatever the outcome of it will be is what you're meant to have. It comes from above. It comes from Hashem. So therefore, you don't sweat it out. You're not anxious or nervous or angry. You're not schwitzing it out because it's all what's meant to be. Already on Kipper, it was decided and determined what's in each of our personal trust fund. And now we go in order to access and transfer it from the great trustee namely Hashem. That's the attitude, the mindfulness, the mentality that we have to bring to our money and to our life. But save us from ourselves from my limited finite perspective. This is what I'm asking for. But if it's not right, definitely don't give it to me. If it's not good, definitely don't make it happen. Yesh, hear me out. But Yoshim, save me from my cells. And our job, our work is to realize that what appears and feels sometimes like the Satan is a malik is in fact the angel of kindness and the angel of compassion. We're off for two weeks, but continue to live with amuna and we will resume. We're going to stop the recording of the stream here, but we continue. If you're listening or watching and you're local, you got to come in person because the best conversations happen after we turn it off with our question and answer. Any questions this