Parsha Perspectives - Nitzavim

Good morning bookers. Welcome back to para perspectives for today. So glad and grateful that you are here. We learn parasit together page 1086 in the arts girlish. As always we begin with gratitude. We remain indebted to our dear friends Becky Nikat and family who sponsored our para series in memory of Becky's father. Our learning is nishmas David Ben and man David Gman. Also this morning shar is dedicated in honor of Ben Isaac's birthday by his family to the most amazing husband father and human being a living walking heartbeating amuna story fills the lives of all you touch with your energy in I add to that Ben has touched my life his energy you can't compare it's contagious and amazing should have a happy birthday and a lot of success it should be your best year yet also this morning she sponsored anonymously may the learning be in the merit of a bin a hoen shbas and anonymous to Justin on the recent marriage. They should build a bias of we should always share only in thank you all to our generous sponsors. Page 1086 parasit often is read together with not this year. So we have a chance to delve right into it. It's a very short para and yet though short maybe in length it is packed in substance and messages. This is Mosher Raen is still on the uh cusp of entering the land but the end of his life he will not be going with the Jewish people and he continues to communicate to them a powerful message his monologue his message. What did we do wrong? What did we learn from our experience until now? And what should you keep in mind? Where do you want to go? and how are you going to get there? So he says you're all standing here today all of you before Hashem and he now elaborates who's the all of you I would have left it all of you is very inclusive it includes all of you but he goes on to spell it out the heads of your tribes your elders your officers your small children the women be care of and the converts or the strangers among you. From those who chop down wood to those who draw the water, every socioeconomic class, every age, every background, every role, all are included. You're all standing here today. Today, says Rashi, last week we left off. The end of parasa was the to the harsh rebuke Hashem's description through Moshe of what will happen if we're disobedient non-compliant. What happens when we don't fulfill and pursue our mission in this world then Hashem there's a punishment there's a consequence there's accountability so why did we end off last week with the we begin this week with you're all standing here what's the connection our commentators are always looking for an understanding what's the connection what's the continuity what's the juxosition not only what message can we get that is explicit in the words but what can we extract that even comes from the comparison of the contrast of the themes of where they're laid out. So Rashi tells us there were 98 curses in last week's para not to mention the 49 that we read earlier in Vayikraim when the Jewish people heard when Mosher Raenu stood up and he said listen carefully here's what's going to happen you go wrong you deviate from the path here's what happens and when he described it and it's horrific and graphic and painful and suffering. Their faces dropped. Their faces turn color. Whoa, we didn't sign up for this. Who can who can possibly overcome this? Who can persevere through this? Who will survive after all these warnings? So Mosha saw what happened. Their faces dropped. They become hopeless and helpless. They were giving up. So Mosha appeases them. And that's why this week's para follows last week after their reaction to the to the harsh rebuke. Moshe lifts them and he says, "Whoa, relax. Don't worry." You're still here. You're standing here. You know, you've disappointed several times. We've been through a lot in the desert. You've messed up many times. And here you are to tell about it. You survived. You're still here. So, don't worry. the fun of you're still here asks the and we've seen this before the we've seen many and quoted many commentators who ask the same question Moshe is trustworthy reliable the Almighty himself describes Moshe as his most loyal servant that he gets it that he's his mouthpiece his advocate his ambassador he's reliable he's trustworthy So last week Moshe was charged with the important mission of communicate transmit the rebuke in a way that taka you're going to light a fire you're going to wake up the people you got to tell it to them the way it is no more of this soft sweet kind we had a discussion a couple weeks ago at our off the record about a video which I'm not going to refer to explicitly that went viral about a guy who gave some harsh rebuke. You know, maybe it was too strong, too cynical, too sarcastic. You have to know him. He's filled with love. He's the most amazing person. Wasn't meant to be videoed. It wasn't meant to be distributed. He he he's a tremendous person. Ali that we should do the come close to what he does on a daily basis. But it generated a conversation. Forget that specific announcement. Are we such a soft generation? Our children or we everyone has to put on gloves, talk nicely, sweetly. It's going to be okay. It doesn't really matter. Do your best. Or no, sometimes you need to be smacked around a little bit metaphorically, figuratively. But sometimes we need someone who's going to tell us the way it is. Grow up. Put on your big boy pants. It's time to grow up. Here's the way you need to behave. Here's the consequence if you don't. Here's the reality of the world. So told Moshe, tell them the way it is. Tell them that yes, I love you and yes, I put you in this world for you to derive the greatest pleasure, the greatest benefit from it. But you know there's consequences. There's accountability. There's expectations. Tell them the way it is. And what does Mosha do instead? He says relax. You've already messed up so many times and here you are. Everything's okay. You'll survive this too. Says rashiva of the mere Brooklyn. Imagine it's a newsman. It's a new semester in the yeshiva and students come. The rashiva gets up and he gives a fire and brimstone speech and he says here's the deal. You got to be on time to morning seder. We begin learning. Be in the B mandish. Whatever time you got to be on time. If you're late, if you're late this many times, if you miss this much minion, if I find you doing this in the room, if I find this, if I find that, here are the consequences. How many strikes you get before you're out? The rashiva lays down the law. After all, it's the beginning of the new semester. You want the students to understand, to have expectations, to hold themselves accountable. Then what happens? Rashima finishes. He walks out and now one of the older students gets up and he says ah he gives that same speech every year and don't worry about it plenty of people they come late they sleep in they play uh they fool around in the dorm and uh they they weren't thrown out they they nevertheless they remained in the yeshiva they graduated the yeshiva so don't worry about it so much I know there's yeshiva relax they all worked it out even if you mess up you're still going to be here what's going on what kind of loyal what kind of loyal student is Rashiv is trying to communicate a message. Rash is trying to communicate expectations. Roshiva is trying to stimulate a response and now you're going to go against him by undermining him. Mosher Rabenu here is not undermining God. Hashem says the Here it is 98 things. Listen carefully. Here are the consequences. Here are the expectation. Here are the rules. This is the reality. And then Mosha says, "Ah, do your best, but don't worry about it. He's not going to really punish it. Was not trying to break the spirits of the Jewish people. He wasn't trying to scare them into submission. She desperate. Moshe said the reason created these expectations is to tell you the reality of his world but it wasn't to make you despondent and depressed. It wasn't to make you hopeless and helpless. It wasn't to break your spirit. So Mosher was complimenting. He wasn't undermining. He was supporting the message and the mission. He was giving because he saw where it brought them to a place. And when a Jew is depressed and despondent, when a Jew is down and out, when a Jew thinks, "Forget it. I'm helpless and I'm hopeless. I have no chance. I have no future. Then ta they have no future. The first step to change is to believe we can change. To believe it's possible to believe in ourselves to see the path forward. To have the the strength and the knowledge to know we've got this. We can do it. And that's what was doing says. He wasn't undermining Hashem. He was complimenting the message of Hashem by reminding the people you've got this. You've got this. So don't break your spirits because then from sadness you can't do anything. This far bring down sadness is antithetical to change. A person who's in a depressed state who's sad who's down and out who has no energy will never realize their potential and become their best self. And that's why chuva growth so much of what our parish is about what this time of year is about has to be done. We make a terrible mistake. We think that when we announce when we hear that first chauffeur the first day of when begin it's time to get all serious it's time to go like this and sad and serious and somber and straight and direct can't laugh you can't smile you can't be happy because that seems frivolous that seems not serious that seems like you're not sober and you're not taking the way you should so we think we make the mistake of thinking You have to be all negative and serious and depressed and miserable. I'm unworthy. I'm lowly. I'm going to be struck down. I have no chance. I'm hopeless. I'm terrible. I have to change. Nobody ever changed from that. That's not what ever evoked elicited change belief in somebody. It has to be there's a joy. Vigil. There's a a trembling. But vigil with a joy. With a joy. Gila with a joy, with a happiness, with a fire, with an yes, we've got we believe I'm coming back. I've got this still going to win. Not win competing with other people, but I'm going to win the best version of myself. I shared a challen says we just read to those who finish with but the dy had the garra says similar many people begin their rash suda their meal with a seder and you eat all these you dip the apple and the honey and you have pomegranate and you have a fish head maybe you have the head of a of a sheep the eyeball they have the carrot you have the pee you have the gourd you have. There's a whole list of things and each has a yehiron. Tells you everything about the Jewish people in our history that every yeihiron is about. Eliminate our enemies, defeat our enemies, obliterate our enemies, remove our enemies. It tells you everything about what the last 2,000 years have been like. That when we sit down and rash, we say, "What's on our mind? Get rid of the enemies." Certainly, it's on our mind as we've begun the ground defensive into Gaza city, our soldiers should be safe and secure and successful in liberating the hostages and defeating every one of our enemies. So similar even though we're not a superstitious people and we don't believe in silly superstition it's from the gar that when a person says that and you say hashem you know it's not in the garra or the but they say that you should have at your table raisin and celery and what's the raton may I have a raise and celery okay anyway okay thank you very much you've been a great audience Thank you for coming today. So that's not that is not among the simum but there are among the simum and each one why we eat it should be the head not the tail we should be this not that each of the simum should make us have a certain mindfulness and thought of course directed to Hashem writes the biggest sim at the rash table it's not the pomegranate not the apple not the honey not the carrot not the gourd the biggest sim at the rash table that will sign and secure you for a good year is a smile on your face. The energy you bring, the atmosphere you create, the joy that permeates the home, the smile on your face. The smile on your face. So don't make the mistake of thinking you have to come to the rash table and you have to come to Rashashana. Oh, I'm serious and I'm somber and I'm sober and I'm miserable and depressed and unworthy and incap. Those are antithetical to rash. Rashashana is all about joy. We're coronating the king. We're worthy. We're fighting for our worthiness to be in his kingdom to serve him for another year to fulfill and realize our potential and our mission. Nothing brings greater happiness and joy. And that is the rash on a table. A smile and a joy. So Mosha Rab sees that their face dropped. They heard the and they said, "We're out. We're out for the count. We've got no chance." So he has to come in with and he has to come in and supplement. And that's why we always read this para before. We read before stand firm. Stand up. You got this. Stand straight. We've got this. Stand guard. Stand firm. Stand straight. Stand up. We've got this. stand up with the knowledge. Stand firm with the confidence and the faith that Hashem loves us and he's waiting for us with open arms and as we'll talk about. All we have to do is make the gesture the first step indicate that we want and he's waiting there. He wants to welcome to pull us up with open arms. He's waiting there entirely entirely for us. That's what is necessary. Okay, that's number one. Then he offers a second shot. Maybe a little bit the opposite. The doctor gives the patient a certain medicine. And the medicine is very bitter. And the medicine has a horrific odor. Smells like rotten fish. And the sick individual takes the pill, sees how big it is, smells how terrible it smells, can knows how bitter it tastes, and just from the smell, who is just from the smell, he begins to cough and to vomit. And by vomiting, he cures himself. He gets rid of the whole illness. Sometimes the person has a stomach bug and they desperately don't want to vomit but once they do they feel better. So this medicine even before you take it the medicine was effective because of the horrific smell and because of the anticipation of the bitter taste the person vomits the illness out of them sees that when they Jewish people take what Hashem said seriously so much so that their face drops that was everything that was necessary. Now he can step in and give them why how many people including us read the to last week and said ah turn the page can't heal the bakor why is he mumbling ah let me read the handout they had in the lobby ah I wonder what they have at the kdish this week did we really shake did we hear and read the to and say whoa whoa those are the expectations have I met them that's the accountability am I in trouble the great in his a collection of his talks this time of year has a whole perk a whole chapter that's called it's called I'm sorry amuna amun faith in sin what kind of a chapter is faith in sin faith is in god sin is what we avoid what do you mean faith in sin and reva develops the idea there of that until you understand the significance and the magnitude and the impact of what Hashem tells us not to do, then you'll never avoid doing it. You'll never feel bad that you did it. You'll never make a promise and pledge not to do it again. Person has to know and understand, you have to have faith that these things matter. They mean something. They make a difference. They're not 613 suggestions. It's not wishes. It's not 613 nice ideas. Hashem created a world. And the same way that if a person has an allergy and if they eat that food, they can go into anaphylactic shock, it can cost them their life. A Jew should have that attitude that non-coosher food, a person who's on that level, not to holding someone accountable who didn't have the education or background, but a person who could and should know better, was raised a certain way, should look at non-coosher food and say that's poison. In the same way that I wouldn't experiment, in the same way that I wouldn't eat even just a little just a taste of the poison and I wouldn't eat a food that even might have the ingredient of the poison because I understand I don't need faith in cyanide. I know if I eat it, it will kill me. So similarly is the attitude. That's the attitude we have to have to. So vula writes a whole essay and that says the rashiva that's what he sees he's communicating the and he sees the people their face drops they believe it they buy into it they understand it they get it and the whole reason they recoil they're so worried about it because they realize he means business he's serious these things matter they mean something I want to work on it I've got to be better and Moshe says okay they're good to go they're good to go if they have the If their face is dropped, then I understand that they get it. They believe it and that's enough to be able to move on. I don't need to scare them further. Now I can give them the that everything is going to be okay. Moving along to Rabbi Sax. Rabbi Sax in his introduction. Atm. Let's go to the opening word. Atem is the plural means you. But you in English that same word you can mean you the individual. Hey you or you all of you. You can refer to a group and you can refer to an individual. But in Hebrew we have different words. So we have the word atm. Atem means you in what tense? The plural. Right? So by saxs Judaism is of its essence a collective endeavor. The liturgy other than occasional meditations is written in the first person plural not the singular. When we pray for an individual, we include him or her amongst all bes among all of others in Israel who need healing or consolation, right? We pay you visit someone who's mourning somebody's sick, they should be healed among all others. We never highlight or focus only on the individual. Yes, we identify the individual. We express concern about them in the context of the whole. We confess our sins together. When a couple stand under the blessing said the chevraas is rejoicing vivana and her children as if the whole Jewish people past and present joined in the celebration. Jewish morning customs draw the bereaveved gently back into the ambit of community at the very time when they feel most alone. Even the Jewish home is not a closed institution. Jewish teachings emphasize the open house, the extended family and welcoming the stranger. Hospitality of Zion. When Arainu is in the middle of a conversation with the Almighty and these three angels in the guise of men come, Aram inter a inter interrupts his conversation with Hashem to greet these guests from which the rabbis conclude. You see, greater is welcoming guest than a conversation with the divine. We discover God in our togetherness, not our isolation. And that's why the apex, the culmination of Moshe's speech, his monologue begins with the word atm. All of you, all of us, we. Martin Bubber misdescribed the faith of Judaism when he spoke of I and thou. The primary relationship of Judaism is we and thou. The Jewish people standing collecting collectively before God. There isn't an I. We're tempted again this time of year to put our mind into the me I I need to have a good year. I need to be signed and sealed. I need a positive judgment. I need good health. I need wealth. I need I need a spouse. I need children. It's all about me hunkering down. Person who's coming before the judge doesn't walk around the courthouse saying, "Oh, nice to meet you. What are you here for? What do you how can I help you? Maybe I can help pay for your lawyer. Maybe I can testify on your behalf." that person is just sitting thinking about the judge themselves, their trial, the judgment that they're about to get. But that's the opposite of the attitude we should have. For a Jew, rash is all about we. It's us. Yes, we're concerned about ourselves, but ourselves in the context of the cl. So we say, "Hashem, here's what I do for the Jewish people. Here's what I'm doing for my community. Here's the role I play in my family. So if you're thinking about taking me out, no, the impact won't be on me alone. Who's going to take care of that committee? Who's going to visit and call that person? Who's going to collect the sedurum at the end of Davening? Who's going to give out the candy to the children? Who's going to do the make that donation? Who's going to the I position myself to be an isha to be a person that's indispensable to the community. So that Hashem now is not only judging based on the individual merit or demerit but their role in the greater community. That by the way is how theb answers the question that we read from the why would undermine Hashem last week. Hashem said theem's going to get you if you're not behaving you're going to be out. Here's the rebuke. Here's the harsh consequence the harsh judgment. And then Moshe gets up and he says is he out of the room? Let me tell you you're still here. You'll be fine. Don't worry about it. And we asked why would he undermine Hashem? So the son ofb gave a different answer and shalom. He says Moshe is not undermining Hashem. Moshe is clarifying. See Hashem was speaking to the individual. You want to live isolated and alone. You want to see yourself independent and apart. You're disconnected from the community and the Jewish nation. You don't care what's going on in Israel. And you lead or go to some breakaway yavin in your house. You don't care about community. Community is not a value for you. So watch out because the is coming for you. You want to not worry when you stand then when you're all together the rich and the poor the advanced background and the beginner background the young and the old the men women and children there's a section for everyone where you den it's not just the guys and the and the kdish there's a section for the women there's a program for the children there's a dra from a rabbi when there's community when there's a community. So then don't worry about the to Moshe wasn't contradicting or undermining Hashem. He was clarifying the is written to the individual. But the moment you connect and you see your identity intertwined, your destiny intertwined with community with the covenantal people, that's how you persevere. So it's not I thou, it's we thou. And then he continues, the covenant is forged a new with all the people present and all those who are not with us here today. Because that's how the continues. If you read Moshe on behalf of God says not just with you as we're renewing our vows, the covenant from Hari last chance. We're going into the land. We're going to fulfill the promise a holy people and a holy land living a holy to holy Torah lifestyle. So let's agree. Let's renew our vows. Let's recommmit. So Mosha on behalf of God says not just with you who are standing here assembled here gathered here those who are here figurative physically and those who are not here. You know what we came out of. You know what we went through. We were liberated from Egypt and we had to pass through the nations we encountered. You saw detestable things. They're abominations, wood, stone, silver, and gold. Let there be among you no man or woman, family, or tribe whose heart turns away, but rather we stay true to the covenant, to the promise. You know, people say, "Why am I bound by Torah?" 613 laws. Where's the paperwork? Where can you show that I signed up for that? I didn't sign up for that. Well, I just want to keep the seven. I'll be a no. Why do I have to keep 613? Where's the paperwork? Where's the contract? Where's my signature? Where does it show that I signed up for that? Where does it show I signed up for that? The answer is we're not a contractual people. We're a constitutional people. Where does it show as an American that you signed up for it? But if you're a citizen of this people, of this country, you're bound by its constitution. When you're born to being a Jew, we're bound by the covenant and the constitution of what it means to be a Jew. It's not a contract. Sax writes the commentators point out this cannot refer to Israelites alive at the time who happen to be somewhere else is the entire nation was assembled it can only mean generations not yet born the covenant is to bind all Jews from that day to this as the yum each of us is mushba it's a term the gmor uses use our rabbis use we're mushba we are for sworn from sai we took an oath but how can this be how can we be subject to a covenant basis of a decision taken long ago by our distant ancestors. Okay, very lovely. My great great great great great great great great Za and Bi stood at Hari and they swore what does that have to do with me? Why am I bound by that? Kazal answered the question mystically. Even the souls of Jews not yet born were present at Sai and ratified the covenant. Every Jew in other words did give his or her consent in the days of Moshe even though he or she had not yet been born. The 15th century Spanish scholar the author of the para reopened the question Hashem's covenant is not with souls only but with embodied human beings. We can understand that the soul which desires closeness to God would agree to the covenant but the ascent that counts is surely that of living breathing human beings with bodies. We cannot assume that they would agree to the Torah with its many physical restrictions. Only when we understand what is being asked of us can we give our binding consent. So why then be Jewish? This is not a question. This is, I would argue, the question of the 21st century. When I interact with young people, not only those unaffiliated, not only those who didn't have a Jewish education or background, but some of our own who go off to universities, which we always knew were spiritually dangerous. Now we've learned is physically dangerous for them as Jews, too. Shocking and mindboggling. They're still going off. We all saw the news of the last two years and thought finally Jews will give up on the Ivy Leagues and some of these institutions of so to say higher learning and we'd saw we'd see a migration. You remember Brett Stevens stood right here in this spot and he turned to our two years ago and he said they don't want to stop going. You would think that he would have advocated that we have to fight for our right to still be there. said, "We got to go to Jewish universities and create Jewish institutions and let people come to us on our turf and not fight for the opposite." And people are still going to these places. And many of our young people are losing their way. And they meet someone, they fall in love. They didn't intend to, but their lab partner or study group or or someone they were in class next to, it turns out they're not Jewish. And they come and they say, "Why should I be Jewish? Why doesn't do anything for me? And I don't feel bound or obligated in it. and I never signed up for it. So why? And you know, the Holocaust no longer is a compelling reason breaking that link in that chain. I've even had a young person say to me when I told him, "You know, you understand the pain you're causing, how selfish you're being, what it will do to your parents, your grandparents, how sacrifices they made, the price they paid, the chain that was created for you to be here, and now you're going to marry a non-Jew." And the young person turned to me and said, "My parents are selfish. They're asking me to give up on a person I love. How selfish of them for something that I don't care about and doesn't speak to me. Don't accuse me of being selfish. They're the selfish one. So what's the answer? Have we formulated what's the answer? Why be Jewish? Why be Jewish? It's not a question. It is the question. And here we are room full of people dedicated and devoted to learning and Torah every week. And here we are a room full of people dvening learning shabas kosher growing Torah and mitzvos. Can we articulate an answer? Is it persuasive? Is it compelling? Does it resonate? Will it win the day? Why be Jewish? Writes Rabbi Saxs. When Jews ask this question, we know we are in the presence of a major crisis. And most times in history, Jewish identity was a fact of birth, a destiny. It was not something you chose anymore. you choose to be born in the init's day for the first time Jews converted to another faith in significant numbers was those that did so seemed to prosper those who remain loyal to their faith suffered ever increasing persecution in times such as those what answer could rev give why should I remain a Jew the following was his reply after thousands of years Jewish identity was a deeply engraved in the minds of Jews as the instinct of life is in all living creatures it was no more possible for Jews collectively to desert the covenant than than it was for a species to commit suicide. Within all that lives, there's a desire for life, an instinct for survival. And for Jews, that instinct is for Jewish survival. I'd like to suggest another answer, says Rabbi Saxs. That lies in what Moshe himself said at the end of his address. I call heaven and earth. Maybe maybe we'll get to it. I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you today. I've set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life. The anxious ancients the ancients with their belief in fate, the influence of the stars or the arbitrariness of nature did not fully believe in human freedom. Nor do most scientific atheists believe in it today. We are determined they say by our genes. Choice is an illusion of the conscious mind. Judaism says no. Choice is like a muscle. Use it or lose it. Jewish law is an ongoing training regimen and willpower. Can you eat this or not? Can you exercise spiritually three times a day? Can you rest one day in seven? Can you defer the gratification of instinct? What Freud took to be the mark of civilization? Judaism gives us 613 exercises and the power of will to shape our choices. Choosing life, choosing Judaism is how we with God become co-authors of our lives. It's beautiful. It's magnificent. It's deep. I don't know it will win the day for that young person who's considering going off. So, what's the answer? Who's going to write the booklet, the website, produce the app? Who's going to release the video that answers the question, why be Jewish? Why? Why does it matter? How do we show it to all 12th graders before they go off, before they might meet someone? How can we ensure that all young people and don't assume that if they're on a certain trajectory of path, they went to yeshiva, they grow up in this world, they wore that clothing on their head, that they're immune because I promise you they're not. And this is a plague and a pandemic across the Jewish world and community. What's the answer to that question? Why be Jewish? Why marry Jewish? Why live Jewishly? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? Why does it matter? So the gave his answer by Sax offers his suggestion but I'm not sure that we've landed yet on what the total and correct answer is base turn the page turn two pages 1090 and it will be when all these things come upon you the blessing and the curse that I presented Take it to your heart among all the nations where Hashem your God has dispersed you. And what will happen? You'll return to God and you'll hear his voice. You and your children, you'll return to God and you'll hear everything that I'm telling you with all of your heart, with all of your soul. And Hashem, your God will bring you back, bring back your captivity and have mercy upon you, will return and gather you in from all the peoples to which he has scattered you. Hashem el Hashem is going to bring you, he's going to bring you back. It's noteworthy that Moshe here does not say if if you stray, if you fail, if you're disobedient, then hopefully maybe Hashem will bring you back. When all these things befall you, it's not what the emotion speaks about when this will happen, not if this will happen. It seems this process is inevitable. And Ben is they're going to sin. But here's the good news. They're going to make mistakes. They're going to fail. They're going to fall. But the good news is they're also going to get up and Hashem is going to lift them up. And this is such a powerful message and one we need to read and hear specifically that week before Shana. Religious life is not linear. It doesn't proceed in a straight line. They're going ups and downs. And we have to know that if we fail, if we slip, if we fall, if we make a mistake, it's okay. That's built in. That's part of Hashem's expectation that we're human. And our response is get up and try again. Ups and downs are inevitable. The part of life said, which means if you haven't failed, you haven't tried. You're not taking risks. You're not pushing yourself. If you haven't failed, you haven't tried. You're coasting. You're taking it easy. If you haven't failed, you haven't tried. The key is not to fail backward. The key of what it means to be a Jew is to learn to fail forward, to lean in, and to learn from it, and to grow from it. And it's true in every area of life. In our marriage, in our career, in our profession, with our hobbies of Odis Hashem. If you find yourself struggling, don't despair. Don't be disheartened. Know the struggles and the ups and downs. They're part of the process. If you had a cheat day or week or month on your diet, if you failed to do that regimen of the push-ups and the sit-ups and track what you promised you're going to do. If you skipped a day or more of your ice bath, yeah, there it is. Then you're not a failure. It means that you're trying and you're working and we have many terminologies. They all describe the same thing. the running towards and the falling away. That's what it means. That's what's part of life. I've quoted before he says when a patient's hooked up to an EKG machine, the line, if the line is straight, it means they're no longer alive. As long as he still lives, he has a heartbeat, that line is going up and down. So the going up and down is a sign of life. You want a straight line, it means you're dead. Only people whose existence are linear are dead. If you're alive, you're going to experience ups and downs. So when you're struggling, when you have a down, don't despair. Don't be despondent. Know that Moshe didn't say if. He said when. But he said as much as the when you'll fall, when you'll get up. And that's why we read this when we read it right now before the gift of chuva. Not if, but when we'll need it. It's built into the system knowing that it's going to happen. It shouldn't make you discouraged or throw you off balance. It should inspire and motivate us. Get back up. Get right up because no things are going to be okay. So, I'll tell you a little preview of next week because we're not having par next week because next Tuesday you're not available. Next Tuesday morning hopefully you'll be in Russ. So, the end of par next week's para little preview for next week. The P at the end of last next week's para says, I know how defiant and stiff necked you are. Even now, while I'm still alive in your midst, you've been defiant. How much more so when I'm gone. Thanks for the pep talk, Moshe. Moshe says, "You're impossible. You're miserable. When I'm here, forget about it. When I'm gone, and I'm not here to rescue and save you and coach you. You have no chance. I know when I'm dead, you're gonna act wickedly and you're gonna go off course. You're gonna be off the and I enjoined you that in time come misfortune will befall you and and you're going to make these terrible mistakes. It seems like Moshenu is summing up his tenure as a total failure. It was bad. It is bad. It's going to be bad. Wow, what a pessimistic message. And that's the last Shabas of It's not the last Shabas of the year. Next Shabas will be the first Shabas of the new year. That's the first Shabas of the new year. It is bad. It was bad. It will be bad. I'm a failure. Sayanara signing off. Das Vana Mosher Rabenu. That's his last message. You stink and you're going to stink worse when I'm gone. Sort of winefeld. Timely and timeless. You got that timely and timeless. You could buy it local bookstore. You got to get it. Beautiful new safer collection over by Weinfeld Weinfeld. Schluto suggests that really the message Moshe is trying to convey is it was terrible but I never gave up and you made mistakes but we always bounce back. And so it's not pessimism and despondency. It's realism and optimism to know that you did make mistakes. You do make mistakes and you will make mistakes. And that's okay. You have bounced back and we're going to bounce back. And so don't be knocked down. Couples who don't fight don't have a good marriage. I'm not the one saying that. All marriage experts will say that. I just made people panic. They're like, "We haven't had a good fight in a while. We better start up something today." It's not a goal to fight. It's a goal to have harmony. But we're different. By definition, we're different. All people are different. We're two becoming one. And in that union of the two trying to become one and align, opinions, behaviors, priorities, there's going to be friction. That's okay. That's built in. How we resolve it. As Gottman says, in every fight there was a conversation that had to happen, but the fight happened instead. So how much we learn to pivot from fights into the conversations that we need to have instead. But it's what it means to be alive. Again, your your marriage is flatlined if there aren't up and downs. And if it's flatlined, it's not alive. To be alive and vibrant and amazing and energized, we navigate and we learn how to navigate those ups and downs, but we have them. And that's what Mosher Raenu was saying at the end of Vay. The same thing that's being said here is there ups and there downs. You could fail, but you could fail backwards or you could fail forwards. I'm not going to give you the long list of people, you know, from the Beatles to Michael Jordan to all the examples that all the motivational speakers bring of the people who failed and they failed miserably in their life, but they didn't fail backward, they failed forward. I'll tell you the one quote Winston Churchill who once said success is a consists of going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm loss of enthusiasm. Again the great Winston Churchill once said that success is going from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm. He was an excellent example of this. The noble laurate twice elected prime minister didn't do well in school. He failed one year entirely. He lost an election and a seat in parliament and he first became prime minister at the age of the young age relax the young age of 62. He went from failure to failure but without the loss of enthusiasm to fail forward not backward. So Moshe is giving a very real and sober look. He's not giving some fake pep talk. He doesn't say we're going to go undefeated this season. Everything's going to go great. We're going to march to the championship. Your life's going to be perfect. It's going to be linear. It's going to be climbing on the rise. Nothing will ever go wrong. Everything is going to be great. He says, "Look, things are going to come up. We're going to encounter challenges. We're going to find problems. We may fail. We may fall. We may get knocked down. But we have always gotten up. We do always get up and we will always get up." And that is the message of this week's para, next week's para. And certainly the message of rash alter the great rash and alesha also has an insight. Rashi notes. Instead of what word should have been used, why does it say the word? Why implies Hashem himself will return? So Rashi explains that Hashem will indeed return together with the captivity of the Jewish people because he comes with us to exile. Hashem is right now in the tunnels or apparently the report is the hostages were moved above ground. Hashem is above ground with them. Rashi adds another explanation. The in gathering of the exiles will be so astonishing so complex as if Hashem himself will need to take each person by the hand and lead them home. This doesn't mean only the physical kibbut golios. It doesn't just mean physically the in gathering of the exiles because that for hashem is not so difficult. The planes have to run. They have to seats have to be affordable. But physically the ability to go to travel to get to Israel today for Hashem is not a miracle. It means primarily the return of the spiritual state of Israel. People who have become deeply sunken in the physicality of this world will need to be extricated by Hashem one by one. It'll infuse them with a spirit of purity that'll enable them to do chuva and accept Hashem's kingship. So it doesn't say the shv means Hashem will return us. He's going to create a world in circumstance. He's going to stimulate us to to have an awakening. The October 8th awakening. Even this summer when I was in Israel, you still see Jews wearing tits but no yarmaka covered in tattoos who are beginning to learn, observe, keep. And all the Jewish people are on some spectrum of faith. You can't measure it all externally on the outside, but the connection that so many have and the bigger observance that so many have begun and the returning to faith in the aftermath and the current situation of what we're going through is all because hashem has awakened the world. This concept is laid out clearly says the gashiva the beginning of shahuva thereon writes it is clear from the Torah that hashem will help those seeking to do chuva when by nature they are unable he'll place within them a new spirit of purity to reach the great level of aas hashem that even when we have our own limitations even when we have things that are holding us back hashem enables us to break through to run over or under or around or right through them is not discussing a scenario where a person lacks the strength to do chuva but whereby By his nature, he's unable. When drowning in gashmas, drowning in physicality, when one repeats a out of sheer habit, Hashem will take us out of the muck. He'll extract us when we're sunken in the mire, pulled out. Sometimes a person's in quicksand, they can't get out. So, you got to throw them a life preserver. You got to extend your hand. You got to pull them out. Hashem does that to us as Rabenua. But when does he do it? Here's the key. Here's the qualification. Raen writes the Gashiva expands that if a person is sinking but they say, "Oo, this is warm and it feels good and it's cozy and I'm happy here." Then Hashem doesn't extend his hand. He doesn't throw a rope. He doesn't throw a life preserver. When does he extend the rope? When does he throw the life preserver? When you say, "I want to get out of here. I don't want to be here." Part of it may feel good and that's why I got in but now I realize this is killing me and I have no hope in future and I want to get out. Can you help me? It has to be preceded by can you help me? It has to be you want to get out and that's why we read Hashem we describe Hashem he opens the gate for those who knock. He'll open the gate he'll throw the rope but you've got to knock. How do we knock? With chuva. If we knock, he'll open the gate. But we have to first knock. We have to knock. And that's why the word is that's why the is formulated in this way. Not but because hashem we can't do it without him. aa 12step program is all about surrendering to a higher power. Higher power is another name for Hashem and the brilliant creator of the program that's helped so many people a program it's not entire it's not perfect but it is so highly aligned with our Torah because it begins the person who says I've tried so many times to give up on fill in the X just so you realize we have addictions that we call and label addictions alcoholism drugs drug, gambling, and so on. But there are a lot of addictions that are equally addictions and unhealthy. But not only do we not label them and have a stigma to them, sometimes we even admire them. The person who works 20 hours a day, oo, they're so driven and ambitious. No, they're addicted to work. The person is so stylish and fashionable, they're addicted to shopping. The person, it's dangerous. The person could be addicted to food. There are all kinds of addictions we have. Even the ones without the label and the stigma are still addictions that we should confront and work on and try to grow. And what's the first step? Realizing I've tried so many times. I've been unsuccessful. Why? Because it starts with surrendering to a higher power. And the very language and lingo of the program is a template is actually the recitation of saying that I've tried and I can't without surrendering to the higher power asking him for help. And then there's steps that you take along the way and you have to take them. That's the free will that we'll get to that we'll talk about. But you have to surrender. Hashem will bring you back. But do you have to knock on the door? You got to knock on the door. When we knock on the door, he opens it. When we call out for help, he throws a rope. But if you're comfortable and happy where you are, if you don't see a problem, if you don't believe you can get out, then that's where you're going to stay. It begins with calling and asking. It begins with the knock asking for help. And then Hashem will circumcise our heart. Hashem will circumcise our heart to love Hashem your God with all your heart, with all your soul, so that you may live. A beautiful insight we've been quoting from the greatb. Did I mention that I was at his ke this summer? Why does it have so that you live? Well, circumcise our heart. What does it mean to circumcise a heart? Does the mole do that procedure too? Does it come with bagels and locks afterwards? Am stations? What is the circumcision of the heart? It means that there's a covering. Circumcision is the removing of a covering. There's a covering over our heart that's trying to prevent us from feeling. Often it's trying to protect us. We wear armor. Last Moses Shabas, we had the off the thereord program for men. We talked about being vulnerable, taking off that armor, being real. Because the only way to truly overcome masculinity, temptation, is the willingness to be vulnerable and to take off that armor. We wear an armor over our heart. We don't want to take the risk of being hurt or of feeling or of being inspired or having to make change. So, Hashem says, "Mal, he's the big mall. He's the mall. He's ma. He circumcises the heart and only then will we love him with all of our heart and all of our soul. So that you live. What does it mean so that you live? If you have an uncircumcised heart, you're not alive. Says the mayo is we have to know that all all of life, all of life force, all of life meaning, all of life purpose, all of feeling alive, it comes from him. Yes, you might register a heartbeat, but to really be alive, to have a vigor, a dynamism, a purpose, a mission is only when we're connected and attached to him. The moment that you're offline from God is the moment you are not alive. So the reason we are circumcising the heart so it can get plugged in to God and pick up the connection because as long as it's covered and it can't get connectivity, then you're not alive. You have no signal, you're not alive. If you want to pick up his signal, you've got to circumcise the heart. That's the way that's what's necessary for it to pick up his signal. And only with his signal, only with his signal are we really alive. Always a dilemma. Where do we go now? No, we'll go to very end of the para the penultimate God. We alluded to this earlier. I call heaven and earth today to bear witness. I've placed I put before you blessing and curse. Choose life so that you will live. You and your offspring. I've put before you blessing and curse. Choose life so that you will so that you will live. But Mosha Feinstein Moshe asks a very basic and obvious question. The tells us choose life and then tells us why. Do you know why you should choose life? So that you'll be alive. Wow. It's a good thing he told us that. Isn't it obvious? If I choose life, I'll be alive. Torah is going to motivate me to give me a reason. Give me a reason. Don't repeat what I just already did. What does it mean to choose life? What does it mean to choose life? As faro suggests, life means eternal life in the world to come. In other words, make the proper and correct choices in this world so that you can achieve immortality and eternity. You can live forever in the world to come. That's the answer. Choose life so you live means choose life in this world so you can have immortality. You'll live forever in the next. That is the answer of the Mosha comes with a different suggestion. He says there two ways to choose to do mitzvah. You can do mitzvah out of a sense of burden and obligation or out of love and out of privilege. When we fulfill Torah andos, you could do it like a checklist. I have to. What choice? Like a dry empty act. Then our children or those around us won't be inspired. They're not going to be moved or motivated to want to walk in our footsteps. They won't want to emulate our ways. They are going to because now they can leave it all behind. But if you're if you choose a vibrant living energized Torah life, then not only physically will you be alive, then you'll spiritually be alive. You and your children, you and your children will be alive. So the P is not repeating says he says look I put before you choose life. If you choose life, then you and your children will live. If you love Shabas, they're going to want Shabas. If you can't wait for Rashashana, they're going to look forward to Rashashana. But if you're miserable, I can't believe what they charge for the seats and this is terrible and the rabbi speaks too long and I hate rash and I have so much cooking I have to do and I can't believe the way it falls out this year and it's miserable and I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up after the then guess what your children and your grandchildren are going to say when they're not in front of you I'm skipping rash sh I'm not signing up I'm coming late and leaving early maybe I'll stop by for the kdish but if we're if we choose life and there are no guarantees because there are people who are making good choices and still we cannot control so there's no judgment there are people who are living such beautiful admirable lives and still unfortunately there are challenges with children and grandchildren so there are no guarantees but says you have the best chance you've increased your odds so I want to tell you another suggestion we saw the that's I'll tell you a third suggestion a few years ago we interviewed judge Dan Butler Danny Butler whose son Mikey Butler passed way at the age of 24, his fourth bout with lymphoma, which followed lung transplants because he had cystic fibrosis. Mikey was an extraordinary young man who radiated joy and positivity, cared deeply about others. In fact, the day that he died from the ICU bed, he was sending emails checking in on and caring about and helping other people on the day that his soul left this world. So on that interview, you could watch the whole behind the beimma. It's a few years ago. He told us that two weeks before he died, two weeks before he died, Mikey said to his father, "Aba, I'm not afraid to die. It's just that I love life. I'm not afraid to die. It's just that I love life. After months on a respirator rounds of horrific chemo, scolding radiation, zillions of needles, in that pain and with that prognosis, he said, I love life. Maybe a third answer we can say is that Mikey Butler was saying even in that condition and at that place, he was still choosing life. So that his legacy of choosing life will continue and outlive him. If you live a life in which you choose life, then it will outlive you. That will be your legacy. That will be what people talk about, the story they tell, the impact and the influence you will have for years and years to come. You can live life drained and tired and centered on yourself or you can live a life where you're choosing life. How we live in this world is creating the legacy we will leave that people will continue to talk about us when we're gone. So choose a life that will result in that you'll have a legacy that people continue to talk about long after. Rafam had a granddaughter who was an incredible engine of always helping others. She was diagnosed with a terrible illness over time became very sick. In her final ride in the ambulance to the hospital before she died, she was on the phone helping arranging meals for someone who needed help. When she hung up, she turned to her husband and she said the following. Thear tells us, "Even if there is a sharp sword in the neck of a person, don't hold back from." Now the classic explanation is even if you feel the situation is hopeless there's a sharp sword on the neck the situation is hopeless don't despair don't give up on Hashem's and his compassion that's the classic understanding but in the back of the ambulance on that day she suggested no you know what it means no matter how dire the circumstances don't stop choosing life don't stop caring about other people. In the ambulance, on the last ride of her life, she was sending texts to arrange meals to help others. Choose life. Choose to live a vibrant, energized, dynamic Yiddish kite because if our children see that, that's what they will want because that will be the legacy that we leave. And because is this that will be the immortality and the eternal life that will earn ourselves in that world to come. A lot more to talk about but wishing everyone no Shir until next year. >> The next year isn't until next year. Wishing everyone good a year of peace and serenity and harmony for Jews everywhere. Hostages home soldiers safe and all of our answered for the good.