Believe in Yourself Like Your Haters Do

Okay friends, paras Balak is all about Jewish strength. um what Balac and really sorry what Bulam Balak's hired hitman had saw in the Jewish people I if it's ironic because if we can get ourselves to appreciate our value to the degree that Bum did and without knowing it we would be in a very good place literally on every level. Let's take a step back. We have these two anti-semites, real Jew haters. Uh the truth is they're for very different reasons. You have Balak who's the king of Moab. And Balak is just afraid of the Jews. He doesn't want them passing through his land. He's afraid of what they might do. He saw already what happened to the Amalachites. He saw what happened already to the Midionites. He saw what happened to the Egyptians. And as a nation leader, he's afraid of them. So he hates them. He realizes that he's probably not going to succeed in fighting them independently. And he takes a very creative route. He hires a hitman. And this hitman happens to be a prophet, a non-Jewish prophet, a wicked prophet. But God had given him prophetic abilities, spiritual abilities. And his, this is Bum. And Bum hates the Jews just as much as actually more. Balak's hatred was a product of internal fear. Bam wasn't afraid of them. He literally just hated them. He was like a real anti-semite. And um Bam says, "I'm not able to not able to curse them to curse the Jewish people," which was his intended pathway toward toward annihilating them. Um eventually he gives it a shot and what starts coming out of his mouth are blessings and Balock says, "No, what are you doing?" the curses or really the blessings that he had conveyed are are quite beautiful are quite poetic. Um some of them we're familiar with more because they made their way into Davening to the sitter. Um but I want to harp on the very first thing that Bum said. He says I'm going to read in Hebrew and I'll translate it. Let me get the exact verse here. This is okay. I'm going to read the exact sentence and I'll translate it. He says, "From the top of rocks, from the top of the rock, top of a mountain, I'll see them. From the mountains, I'll praise them." This is a nation that rests independently. and they're not going to be considered by other nations. No other nation can really think against them or plot against them. What does that mean? It's kind of poetic. So the way many commentaries understand this just in the very simple way is he's standing on top of a rock, standing on top of this mountain, overlooking the Jewish people, saying that this is an independent nation. Right? That makes sense. That that that's what the word said. From the top of the rock, I'll see them or I do see them. From the mound, I praise them. That's just part of what he's doing. That's how many of the commentaries understand the simple meaning of the text. And I think that's quite logical. If you're reading the Torah text without any commentary, I think that's what we would think. However, that isn't Rashi's interpretation. Rashi takes a more midrashic interpretation over here which is quite ironic by the way because Rashi is considered to be the literal um explanation. He will occasionally or often quote midrash but when he's quoting midrash he believes that that midrash is the literal interpretation and what's rashi's interpretation over here and we'll compare and contrast because there there is a I'll tell you this now there's an age-old tradition the hakadesh quotes this the shalah is a cabalistic and mystical philosophical ical work called the acronym of that is the he was around the 15th century and he has a lot of works on on on the para on the Torah and he has this tradition that embedded within rashi which is the simple meaning of the text is life lessons and messages is almost like deep cabalistic meaning and explanation as we'll soon get to. Here's what Rashi says. Rashi highlights the words. I'm seeing them from the top before I tell you Rashi. Actually, I'm sorry. I'm taking you for a little ride here. What is the significance? I meant to mention this earlier. Um, what's the significance of Bum standing on top of the rock watching us, praising us according to these commentaries? Like why does that matter? So the way the commentaries explain it is the reason why blessings came out of his mouth rather than curses, why he couldn't curse us is because he saw us as an entire people. And were he to see just some of us, he'd have the ability to curse us. And this is alluded to in the following verses when Bum when Balak says afterward, "Billam, what are you doing? Why did you bless them? Come with me. Let's go to a different spot, hoping that it was due to the location that caused him to bless him." Well, what's unique about that location? It's on top of a rock. He could see everybody. There's everybody together. There's unity. Or at least he's perceiving unity. That's good enough for him to not be able to cast curses and only cast blessings. But were he to see just some of us, he'd focus more on the details. And with details comes individuality. And with individuality comes separation. And with separation comes the opportunity for negativity to come and rest. Not that individuality is necessarily unwarranted or or a bad thing, but the point is that's not what he saw. What he was doing was standing on top of the rock and he saw all of us and for some reason seeing all of us circumvented his ability to curse us required him to bless us inadvertently. Okay, but that's not Rash's interpretation. Let's go back to Rashi. I'm sorry for taking us for a little ride here. Okay, let's go back to Rashi. Rashi tells us that what is from the top of the mountain you see them. It doesn't mean that Bam is standing on a mountain looking at us as the other commentaries had explained. It means that he's seeing us like a mountain or like a a rock. He's seeing us for our strength. It's more of an allegory. It's more of a a parable than it is a description of what historically happened. It's part of his actual praise. I'm seeing them like the beginning of a rock. I'm seeing them for strength. They're like they're as and I I'll give you a loose translation over here. I paraphrase. I'm looking at their beginning, at their roots, and I see that they're strong. I see that they're fortified like rocks, like these mountains because of the patriarchs and matriarchs. That's what Rashi says. So, Bum inadvertently blesses us although he intended to curse us. His curse was or blessing was quote from the from the Torah itself. From the beginning of a rock, I see them. From the mountains, I praise them. This is a nation that stands alone or independently. Rashi interprets them to mean, I'm seeing them as a rock. I'm seeing them as strong. And why are they strong? The reason why they're strong is because of their patriarchs. Rashi believes uh something very different than the other commentaries. Rashi believes that Bum has the ability to see something within us that maybe we don't even know, which is that not only are we an independent nation, and he perceived this by being on top of a rock of viewing us, but we're an independent nation that has the strength of Iraq. And the reason why we have the strength of a rock, where did we get that strength from? Well, where does that strength come from? It comes from our patriarchs. Now, this is a little bit different than learned strength. This is an inherited strength. Many people have learned strength. You could try this, by the way. Go go go go go to anybody you know. Identify a strength that they have that you're you're genuinely amazed by. Ask them where they learned that from. I mean I do this all the time. And people say I don't know. And you say come on tell me. I don't know. I I I was working with a client who was going through a difficult time and was hoping to to show up in his relationship, in his marriage with more generosity. And he told me about times where he was actually quite generous, even though he doesn't feel like a generous person. I said, "Where'd you learn that generosity from?" I don't know. I said, "Think about it. I don't know. I just did it. And I said to him, if I were to not allow you to leave until I had an answer, if I were to be that assist in insistent, what do you think you might come up with just so you could get me off your back? He thought about it. He said, "His father." And he started thinking about how generous his father was and how he grew up seeing that type of generosity and that he even saw that and witnessed that level of generosity from his grandfather and he got into the details. Now generosity became something not only that he performed by accident. He realized it's a true resource that he has but in this situation it was learned. Maybe it was inherited too uh biologically or in his DNA or chemically or or maybe even spiritually. There's no real way to know. But the Jewish belief is that Jews have a certain strength that we've not only learned from our history. Jews have had to have been strong throughout the ages. And it may have been something we've learned. But our true strength isn't only something we've learned. It's something we've we've inherited. It's something our patriarchs actually bequeath to us. And the truth is the type of strength that we have as Jews is the type of strength that you can't actually learn. It just is. It literally just is. There's an unexplainable strength that for some reason we're as stubborn as a rock. We're just strong people. And sometimes, by the way, that comes to bite us. and um where it counts and it's inconvenient um think of the sin of the golden calf. Moshe says to God afterward, "Forgive the Jewish people because they're a stiff necked nation. They're a stubborn nation. Forgive them." And commentaries wonder why forgive them because they're stubborn. Forgive them despite them being stubborn. What Moshe was saying is they're stubborn people and that could be a gift as well. Notice the gift within them. And we've inherited this stubbornness from our patriarchs and starting from Abraham. Abraim was very stubborn. It was very strong. He led an entire movement of monotheism and it was not popular and he suffered greatly for it. And God rewarded him for this. The reward, this is not just something you've achieved. This has become part of who you are. And because of that, it's going to be bequeafd to your n to to your to your um descendants. We've inherited the strength inic teachings and particularly when you um explore various books of on this week's para they explain that the rock strength we're referring to over here is not intellectual strength which is required which is which is a it's a good thing and necessary but it's deeper than that. It's will it's willpower. It it's not just intellectual conviction. Let me put it that way. It's drive. It's a different type of conviction. The conviction you have because you want something is much more meaningful and strong impactful than the conviction you have for something you understand. Or let me put it this way. Conviction you have because of a belief is much stronger than conviction you have for your understanding or appreciation. So when people try to say Jews have a right to the land of Israel because of the Holocaust and because we're a democratic country and because we need a safe place and every nation is has the right to a safe place. These are intellectual talking points. And when you have an intellectual talking point, you don't actually, it's ironic here, but you don't actually convince the other side. You temporarily suppress the other side. You temporarily quiet the other side until they just get louder and louder and louder and louder and ultimately explodes and they take over the media and now we have to rediscover what our true identity really is. Well then what is my connection to the land? I'm using the land of Israel as an example, but it's true to our connection in Judaism, our connection in God, our connection to to really to really anything um spiritual when our connection is because of a belief, not just because we're intellectually convinced, but it's much deeper. It's like a part of who I am. I'm a lot more passionate. The other opinions that seem to frustrate and trigger don't actually matter. That's the strength of a rock. Rock solid. You know what I think of? I think of Yakovu, Jacob, our patriarch, who is running away from his parents' home because his brother Asov, wants to kill him. He's going to go live with his uncle Lavan. And on his way to Lavan, he camps out in this spot which happened to be Mount Maria. Ara Maria happens to have been that exact spot where the Ba Mik was. He goes to sleep. He has the dream with the angels. He's told by God that incredible things are going to happen, not to fear. But what does he do before going to sleep? The Torah says that he takes 12 stones and he puts it around his head to protect himself. And Rashi as well as other commentaries try to figure out how is that a protection? What about the rest of your body? How does putting stones around your head protect you? The animals could tear the rest of you apart. Okay, there's a whole discussion what that means literally and how that um on a literal level like on a historical factual level how that's meaningful. But at least on a spiritual level there's a lot of meaning here. If you want to protect yourself before going to love on, before going to somebody with negative viewpoints, before going to somebody who's corrupt, before being in an environment that is way outside of your spiritual comfort zone, you got to put stones around your head. You got to be rock solid. You got to be very strong. And here's the interesting thing. Yakov was traveling with his staff. Nothing else. It wasn't like he had caravans of horses and donkeys and like his grandfather or even his father Yeetszka had. Where did he get those stones from? Hm. Convenient. Here's 12 stones. Where did that come from? Did you ever think of that? Well, what happened at that exact spot one generation prior? The binding of Isaac was in that exact spot. And Abrainu had built an altar to offer Isaac on this altar to God. It was those stones that were left behind. That's what the commentaries explain. Those stones were left behind and he used those stones as a symbolism of him being rock solid in his commitment. Because where does the rocksolid commitment and connection come from? From the patriarchs. from the previous generation. And the moment we realize that the strength we have is not our own, it's much greater. It's not just about my own intellectual conviction and understanding. It's much greater. That's the moment we discover joy and stability in our relationship with God, our relationship with Judaism. And the truth is our relationship in marriage because this all ties back to marriage as well. when couples are just trying to understand each other. Well, there's times you'll understand more. There's times you'll understand less. And and by the way, I'm not not anti- understanding each other. Um it's not a bad thing. But why get married? Why not just understand each other? Marriage means even when we don't understand each other, we're still rock solid connected. We're still committed. We're still surrounded by those stones together. We're still united. And that type of rock solid connection, rocksolid commitment that we've inherited from our forefathers is exactly what Bum saw within us. C can you imagine looking at another Jew and seeing that rocksolid connection the way Bum did? Yeah. But that guy um Bum was also thinking that too. Bum tried cursing the Jewish people. He had every excuse not to see that. He wasn't looking for it. He couldn't help but notice it. We have to be like BAM. There's times where people are frustrating, where people are difficult, where people where it's easy to give up hope on them, where it's easy not to believe in them. And there's good reason not to believe in them. Maybe their track record proves that. But like Bum, we can't help but notice or not notice the rockolid connection that exists within them. About eight months ago, I was teaching a class at the at the labs in Liverour and there was a fellow there. He's a scientist. He's he's a one of the oldest employees in the labs. Beautiful nama, beautiful soul. Um, he's probably pushing 90. He's like a part-time employee drinking the words of Torah thirstly, which is fascinating because he calls himself an atheist, right? We need more atheists like that in this world. Um, he says to me after the class, can I ask you a question? Sure. How is Judaism doing in America? What does that mean? He says, "I've been out of the loop." He, this is his, you know, he's reconnecting with his Jewish Jewish roots from these classes. Um, for the first time in many, many, many, many decades. Um, his wife isn't Jewish, his kids aren't Jewish, his grandkids aren't Jewish. And and he's he shared this with me. He says, "Because I've just been out of the loop. I've left Judaism and I'm curious if more people are joining Judaism than are leaving or more people leaving than are joining. Is this sustainable? I said to him, I don't have any data. I don't have any I mean I don't have any uh statistics to share with you, but what I could say is Judaism has been more accessible now than it ever has been probably in history. Maybe since Mount Si. At Mount Si, we all stood there. But even that wasn't sustainable. It didn't uh you know the inspiration fled. But now the ability to learn Torah, to connect to God, to understand our roots, to appreciate the rock solid connection we have that Bum noticed within us. I mean, it wasn't a class on Bum, so I didn't mention that part. But the the ability to do this is more accessible now than it ever has been in history. Anybody can pull out their cell phone and in any language connect study Torah. Um there's more opportunities on college campuses than there ever has been. There's more opportunities with Kabad centers and other centers as well, outreach centers as well throughout the world than there ever has been. I said that's got to be emblematic of of some sort of interest among the consumers. I thought it was a good answer, but he said looks at me and goes, "Why? What do you mean why? Why? What? Why would anybody want this?" Which is ironic because he wanted it, right? Nobody's forcing him to show up. Uh the food wasn't that great. It wasn't that No, I'm kidding. But I'm saying he he he opted to be there. So I said to him, "It's a good question. I don't know. In many cases, it's easier not to want it. If you're a Jewish student at Columbia University, a place where, and I'm using them as an example, but there's many universities to call out. A place where anti-semitism and Jew hatred has become acceptable. a place where Jews are not protected and have to hide in classrooms and avoid people to to get to their class. It's easier to hide the star of David to take off the amaka and just say I'm just a regular student. It probably won't help anyways cuz people I don't know the soul just shines too much. But theoretically, it would be easier to do that. So why are they embracing Judaism? Why? Back to the question, why? And what I said to him was what you're describing with that why is what I call the soul and what we're calling right now the rock solid connection that BMED saw within us the rocksolid interest that Bilamemed saw within us in sometimes in order to see this within our other people and by the way to see this within ourselves We have to, this is going to sound bad, but we can't believe people. You have to believe in people more than you believe people. Um, people say all the time, "Well, I'm not too much into the Judaism thing." They're like, "They're showing up." Which means you don't believe them, you believe in them. I was working with um a person who was going through a difficult time in his marriage. And he told me he hasn't felt much connection in many many decades, several decades in his relationship. and he felt like um I mean he obviously felt there was something worth working on, right? Because he came to me for for assistance. I asked him, "How did you meet your wife?" And he starts describing how they had first met, which is usually a positive question that kind of triggers memories. But he says, "My wife claims she has never felt happy since we got married. And I'm just I don't know what to say. I can't. But he says I don't believe her. Which gave me opportunity to ask him why he doesn't believe her. Um, this is the rockolid connection that what we say doesn't and even what we do and how we even feel and think doesn't always reflect the deepest part of us. But when we discover the deepest part of us and we see ourselves and others the way Bum saw us, that's going to affect the way we think, the way we feel, and ultimately the way we behave. I want to point out one last point. I and I think this is important to mention. Bam is speaking in parables in in allegory. He's not saying we're literally a rock. There's literally a rock with inside of us, right? He's using a rock as an analogy for some sort of solid connection. And it's important to note that whenever, especially in the Torah, but in general, whenever an analogy is used, the analogy can never be 100% accurate. Because if the analogy was 100% accurate, you wouldn't need the analogy. You could just talk about what we're talking about. So the fact that you have to bring an analogy means it's by definition inaccurate. Right. So what is the analogy really depicting? So in the analogy the rock connection, where does rock solid connection, where does rock solid strength come from the independence and rigidity of the rock. The more independent, the more hard, the more defined and rigid that rock is, the more strong it's going to be. The lighter it is, the more dependent it might be on it on the earth. The less the more rounded it is and the less rigid it is, the more flexible it might be, the less strong it's going to be. And that's why it's not a perfect analogy because when it comes to spiritual connection, it's actually the exact opposite. The more independent you feel, the more rigid you feel, the more defined you feel that this is the way how things need to be because this is the way I feel things that I understand things need to be. The more parameters we put in our mind, the less connected we are and the more flexible we are, the more light we are, the more uh we appreciate dependence on something bigger than ourselves. That's where real Jewish strength comes from. real Jewish strength and that that's what bittle is bitt Okay you guys I assume you know what we're talking about when you say ble but whoever's watching on YouTube have to describe ble at a different time but ble which is often described as nullification ble means being part of something bigger that's a strength because with that comes flexibility the strongest people are the most flex fible, right? That's what resilience is. Resilience is flexibility, the ability to bounce back. It's the opposite of rigid. By the way, I got a whole half hour without messing up on any words. Rigidity. Rigidity. There we go. Um, so our strength is like a rock in the sense that it's solid, that it's stable, that it's not going anywhere, but it's inherently quite different. It it's it comes with inherent flexibility because we're not set in our mind that this is the way it needs to be, but it's going to be the way God wants to be, which is a deeper sense of faith than where our mind can take us. Okay, that's my story and I'm sticking to