I wish people knew how DEPRESSION really works...

one of the worst things you can do to somebody who's going through a difficult time is say hey why don't we talk about it because when somebody is suffering when somebody's going through pain what is talking about that pain going to do that's going to create rumination either consciously or subconsciously that's going to deepen the pain that's going to make things worse that's what language does because language reinforces the reality that we're experiencing that the reality that we have within ourselves the Rous says when somebody's angry don't talk about the anger at that moment right always says when somebody's decease is in front of them don't try to comfort them at that moment I'm not saying that you shouldn't be supportive to somebody who is suffering and you definitely should empathize with somebody who's suffering but you don't have to get them to elaborate on the pain that they're in when somebody talks about pain they feel pain more when somebody talks about hope they feel more hope and having a conversation about that can be very helpful I was once uh counseling a couple and the truth is I do this all the time when I counsel couples I say so what are your best hopes from our discussion and sometimes they'll say well look this is the issues we're going through and we're fighting about this and that and I'll say look it that must be really difficult and really uncomfortable and I'm sorry that you felt hurt when this and this happened but if this was a useful discussion and you walked out of here and things were like super successful how would you know like what can you dream for what are your best hopes and when they have a conversation about what they hope for it it gets reinforced when you talk about problems and I I'm not saying that we should be problem phobic and that we should be afraid of listening to people's problems no we should be very EMP pathetic but if we talk too much about problems we reinforce problematic behavior when we talk more about hope we reinforce hopeful Behavior essentially people have within themselves the ability to shine the ability to persevere and we see this by the way in the paraa of amalik the amalekites trying to kill us in the Bible in the Torah this unprovoked attack against our identity but sometimes we feel like our positive identity the identity we're most proud of the version of oursel that we want to share with others gets robbed and you can call this depression anxiety trauma it could be for external causes as well but sometimes we feel that our identity is being robbed so the Torah says you got to fight amalik you got to fight this negative Force within you and how do we do that MOA Renu chooses people to fight this war if you were chosen by MOA Renu if you were chosen by Moses to fight a war what quality would you want to believe that you had that you're worth being chosen by Moses think about that what makes you so special that you're chosen by Moses try to identify with that quality I want you to imagine this right now as you're watching this video Mishu chooses you to fight the Battle of God to protect the Jewish people you have a soul within yourself that needs to be protected and if moeru chose you what do you think that quality would be write it in the comment section as well I'd love to hear what your thoughts are the Torah tells us that at this battle mosu would raise his hands and when his hands were up the battle was successful and when his hands were down they were losing the battle it says they were successful when he lifted his hands they were successful they were winning they were victorious when his hands were down they were not successful why what is significant about moo lifting up his hands giving the Jewish people the ability to fight so Rashi interprets it as a sign he's reminding us look to the heavens understand where your success comes from but I want to share with you an Al alterate interpretation from the he explains that y the hand is a euphemism for strength the hand of God like the ram tells us when it says the hand of God it's an anthropomorphic metaphor not that God actually has a hand because God Is Not a Human Being God is the creator of human beings but God is Way Beyond that and is not limited to a specific form when the Torah says the hand of God it means the strength in this case also when my lifts up his hand when you have strength and like you take advantage of it you lift it up you take that strength within you that God has given you to persevere to shine and to fight and to win and to be the best version of yourself and to show up in the way that you're most proud of the way that God is most proud of you take your hand and you lift it up you actually take advantage of it you take the strength that God has given you within you find it and you take advantage of it you can be very successful but if you neglect it you just put it down you put down your strength and you wallow in your pain and you just want to talk about problems but not actually talk about the hope that you have the strength that God has given you it's very difficult to win a Malik but friends we can win this amalik aik does not have to Rob us or abduct us of our selfworth abduct us of the value that we have the god-given value that we have God has given us this value and we can pick it up and the very first step is to notice it and it it's ironic but noticing the value God has given us within ourselves it's ironic but it requires a lot of humility because our self-made worth has its limitations and we could put doubts on it but the god-given worth that we have takes a lot of humility to step aside and say I know it's there friends you got this that's my story and I'm stick into it