Jewish Confession & The Power of Vulnerability

Judaism does believe in confession we don't confess to people we confess to God but here's the question why confess I I sin but God knows I sin I know I sin let's you know it's like you know what I did wrong I know what I did wrong we both know if God knows that I sin I shouldn't have to say it if God needs me to say it that's not the god I want to serve if he's not really all-knowing I don't know if that's the god I really want to participate in what is the purpose in confession what are your thoughts notice the book of Education it was authored about 800 years ago anonymously it's one of the it's a commentary in the Torah he explains every single Mitzvah the Torah in order and he often takes the psychological approach to Mitzvahs he says that the purpose of confession is if I don't admit that that I did something wrong it's very easy to go and do it again because it's easy to forget about it I didn't really you know you know did I do it you know like when you you have a certain sometimes you question your memories you ever have that like it happened so long ago did that really happen or did I make it up type of thing but if you articulated you verbalize it it's concrete I did this you're owning up to it and you're saying just like I know about it I'm reminding myself God also knows about it I have to repent I can't fall back into those ways I can't do it again but it's it there's a it's almost like a psychological exercise bringing it um bringing it to our own awareness it becomes concrete I'm I'm admitting taking responsibility the Zohar has another explanation as to why we do confession according to Jewish law there's certain situations where when somebody does something wrong there's consequences right sometimes the consequence will be like a citation there's actually biblical citations there's times in the Bible where you have to you have to pay money I'll give you an example somebody worked to steal an item from somebody you have an obligation to return double of what you stole familiar with that law you steal one you gotta return two you got to return the principle you gotta return what you took and then you gotta steal return the second one this is biblical law and this is a citation you don't technically oh and it's a citation it's a Biblical citation right it's a fine if you came to court and said I made this big mistake I stole I'm sorry just return the principle you don't have to return the second one you don't have to pay that citation because you've admitted when you admit to the truth you're exempt from that citation when you've taken responsibility you've removed the burden of consequence you still have to pay the responsible amount but you remove the burden of consequences the Zohar says when we confess to God we're admitting we're coming to God and that's much better than God coming to us you know I when we run our summer camp I always tell our counselors at our staff orientation if a child gets hurt sometimes it's not a big deal to us right a little crybaby so to us it's no big deal and the kid's just being a crybaby but to the kid it's a big deal and when they go home and tell them but their parents they had a horrible day because they skinned their knee and almost died from it um I think a little facetious here that's that's a big deal it might not actually be a big deal but it becomes a big deal becomes a much bigger deal if the parents call me and I don't call them and let them know that this is what happened If the parents have to call me and ask what happened to my kid rather than me calling the parents and letting them know what happened to their kid it could be an awkward conversation and it just doesn't look responsible right it's just not a good way to earn trust with parents right and as a campsite vector and the truth is in any business not that Camp's the business but in any operation the key to success is earning trust with people says take responsibility admit it you go to God then wait for God to come to you right take responsibility and you'll be exempt University by the way the very first day of the creation of men which we celebrate on Rosh Hashanah Adam and Eve are told don't eat from this fruit of knowledge don't eat from that tree don't do it they did it and God starts looking for Adam and thinks he could hide from God big mistake if we do something wrong and this is a valuable lesson in interpersonal relationships in business relationships if we mess up don't try to kick it under the rug it doesn't work right it comes back to bite us the Zohar says no no no we gotta confess that's where confession comes in it's us having the courage to come to God and say I know I did something wrong and I'm willing to own up to it I'm willing to confess I'm willing to I'm willing to actually take responsibility and what happens is when we take that approach we exempt ourselves we alleviate ourselves there is a deeper meaning to confession it was a fascinating book called he was authored by rather monachnierson it's great great grandfather and he wrote a book explaining the spiritual background behind mitzvahs and he goes through each myth was similar to the safer book of education but instead of explaining the message from a psychological Paradigm he explains them from a from the Paradigm of khasidis from a more spiritual um Soul paradigm and he explains something fascinating here's an essay about teshuva an essay about confession here's what he says everything that exists is comprised of a body and a soul everything I mean human beings that's the most obvious example there's my physical representation the space I take and there's my soul soul can mean different things but there's the spiritual part of me that doesn't take space is my emotion there's my intellect is my perspective there's my drive there's my connection to God there's a body and there's a soul they go hand in hand they work together at least they should we're trying to get them to work together even the most um inanimate parts of life have some sort of life force that keep them in existence a handshake has a soul to it you're not just slapping hands with somebody there's a business deal there's an element of trust there's there's something spiritual to it and he explains that sins have a body and assault because what happens when we sin what happens is we feed into clipper remember from our Tanya class what is Clipper Clipper is some sort of shell right literally means a shell but it's basically this negative energy that makes us see life superficially it covers up the truth it makes us see the body not the soul when we look at people and the first thing and they take up space that's clipper because that's the body the body takes up space if those people don't take up space we appreciate their good qualities we're moving more into Soul territory less into Clipper territory and again this is not black and white at all because there's varying degrees but sometimes it's easier just to use black and white terms um one of the reasons Sports new it's one of the reasons for modesty is hide the body hide the clipper so we could remind ourselves that there is a greater depth Within and when we and is everything again has this body dissolved and he says sin has body and souls well Clipper has a body and soul the clip itself has a body and a soul when we sin we generate we generate this shell or in English we desensitize ourselves from spirituality right that's what that shell is we become less and less sensitive the more we sin the less we care and the less We Care the more we sin It's a Wonderful cycle and it's it's true the other way around too I don't mean to be negative right the more Mitzvahs we do the more we're going to Care The More We Care the more minutes we're going to do right the more we break through those Clippers and tissue is ultimately smashing through that clip that's what teshuva is because as we sin yeah and by the way whether it's intentional or unintentional because we're not talking about accountability anymore we're moving on to new territory here we're talking about reality in terms of accountability okay God won't hold you accountables by accident but you still build right it's like bothering somebody without realizing it okay they're not gonna they're not gonna like scold you for it but you've still alienated yourself from them you did something they don't like right it's just it's just the reality Toshiba is breaking through that clip and that Clipper has a body and a soul the soul of the Clipper was created through the lust of sin the desire of sin that burning passion to do whatever we know we shouldn't have been doing whatever that may have been the body of the Clipper that's the action that we did the ACT the act together with the passion creates a body and soul to make a physical representation of clip in this world to further desensitize us so if we want to do proper sashiva we can't just get rid of the sin we can't just regret the sin that would get rid of the desire the soul of negativity we have to physically enunciate and articulate our regret get rid of its body and that's what confession is the point of confession if we're just saying the words we're only halfway there there has to be the Cabana there has to be the intent there has to be the interconnection the inner desire to actually uproot what we did and when we emotionally regret what we did we get rid of the soul of clipper the soul of negativity the soul of being desensitized the energy behind it but to get rid of its physical impression that we had on this world in order to do that we need to um we need to physically enunciate the words audience is all together this is an incredible incredible paradigm shift because what we're saying is the ability to do Toshiba the ability to be turned the ability to confess and get back in good terms with God it's not just about brownie points with God it's not just about what's going to happen if you know it's it we're so used to and many of us are brought up with the fear what's going to happen if what's my year going to be like if I better do Toshiba I better shape up and I'm not here to dismiss that fear that fear is not a bad thing but we can do better there's a relationship over here it's not just what's God going to do to me or what's going to happen to me what type of year am I going to have if I don't there's a relationship here there's negativity that I potentially have brought to the world and fine it wasn't my fault okay um I didn't know or I'm not perfect no wait no but we have the incredible ability to clean it up with an incredible ability to smash that clip up to destroy its Soul by regretting what we've done to destroy its body by articulating what we've done sins actually make a difference and our Toshiba actually makes a difference can actually change the past it's incredible incredible paradigm shift it's not just about our own accountability our own responsibility our own oh no what's gonna happen to me now I have a responsibility to the world I have a responsibility to existence make this world a place for God and inevitably along the way failed I shouldn't fail I've slipped we all have slipped and through the confession the body and soul of confession we can fix it Whoever thought that vide the confessional prayer can literally change the world literally change the world it's just interesting to know side point Rosh Hashanah which the theme of Rosh hashan essentially is teshuva that's what the shofar is all about waking up the inner soul he's the only Jewish holiday that is not celebrating an exclusively Jewish event the Passover is exclusively Jewish the Jewish people left the Egypt Purim the Jewish people were saved from the um potential mass destruction Hanukkah when we were saved from the Greeks shavuas the Jews were given but Rosh Hashanah God created the world it's not an exclusively Jewish event because it represents our responsibility to make this larger World a more Divine place an hour Toshiba our view our ability to clean up the body and soul of our mistakes can actually make this world better and brighter there's a strong correlation between prayer and the biblical sacrifices that take place in the basement we know that prayer is a replacement for those sacrifices as soon as the basement was destroyed and we had no altar we had no ability to come close in that fashion the sages established a formal prayer where we can formally bring ourselves close to God right the three amidas de amida every single morning every single afternoon represents the sacrifice taking place every single morning every single afternoon when would you bring a sacrifice in the basement when you sinned right you messed up let me bring a sacrifice to God which would one might think that the vidua the confessional prayer should take place before the amida that should be the first part of Prayer because the amida represents this coming close is drawing towards God standing in front of God well shouldn't I get rid of my sins shouldn't I clear my sins first then come close to God why am I doing the Ami the first and then recite in the confessional prayer it seems like a backwards order what are your thoughts well um I I could Envision that uh you want to be as close to God as possible at the moment of your confession and immediately following the amida you've you're at the the Pinnacle of your connection with Hashem and you're at your most exposed vulnerable place to provide you know to give your confession Bingo exactly in other words to put that put this in context we start off with the mode that I need the very first prayer in the morning thank you God for for giving my soul back giving my life back my life is dependent on you and the whole of prayer is unpacking that unpacking our ability to concede to God we get to the Shema we say God is one we're absorbed in that we become passionate about that now I love you God I want to experience that love I want to experience the reverence we then get to the amida where we're standing in front of God and we feel it we really feel that we're standing in front of God we take three steps forward as we're approaching God because we know and feel that God is right there we're literally prostrating ourselves before it's at that point the amida that I have the sensitivity to know that I've actually sinned there may be certain subtle things that I'm unaware of oh that was actually a problem but after the amida once I've felt that connection that deep Soul connection have to be amida not that's a sin and I have the ability to come close I have the ability to be vulnerable with God now that I've prayed the Amita I can talk about those sins to God I know he's gonna forgive me we just developed this connection we just developed this relationship it's not just God forgive me for my sins so I can connect to you God I am so connected to you that I know these sins aren't getting in the way and I know I don't want to go back to those conclude with a story this is one of my favorite stories it's because we have this Hasidic approach to tishuva and it's it's an incredible shift I am connected to God therefore forgive me Overlook these sins because we're connected rather than my connection being contingent on the action it's for this reason that Toshiba has to be done with simcha with joy look in many many many hundreds of the rappers talks throughout the month of eluth in Rosh Hashanah and the rep is talking about tashuva connect come home with joy so here's the story was traveling abroad he's traveling abroad and he's looking he's going to be away from high holiday season he wants to go to the right show and he's not just going to dive in anywhere he needs to go to a very uplifting inspiring place so he starts interviewing the leader the cancer the valtter Fila he goes to a particular show and he starts asking him questions what is unique about your davening what's special about your dominating what is there anything so here's what one guy says when I get to the video when I get to the confessional prayer we usually recite it with a more somber too you know it's a little bit more heartfelt in somber he says when we get there I recite it with a very upbeat and exciting tune a tune that is associated with joint the mashem was shocked I've never heard of such a thing why he says if you have the opportunity to clear out a palace for the king the king's going to stay in your home and you could clean up you're not going to be upset I gotta clean up and deal with dirt I gotta start mopping I no the king is coming I get to clean up I'm a palace for God as we all are the king wants to reside with me wants to stay within me he wants to be a part of me so yeah I gotta deal with her but I'm doing it for the king I'm allowing the king to dwell Within Me the Toshiba is an incredible an incredible Joy an incredible deep connection okay that's my story and I'm sticking to it