Sacred Letters: Addiction, Failure, & Pragmatic Planning

have you ever resolved to stop a harmful Behavior or any behavior that you really don't want to be doing or you feel like you shouldn't be doing and you said you're not going to do it and you did it you failed it doesn't feel good how would you describe that feeling you feel like a failure you feel incompetent you feel powerless you feel like eating a tub of ice cream on a scale of 1 to 10 how motivated would you be to move forward to continue in 1962 there was a fellow who was struggling with an alcohol addiction he failed he said he was going to stop and he resolved to stop and he went for it again he had to relapse and he wrote to the Reb expressing his concerns and the rabbit did two things in this letter he reframed how to view failure giving new insight and he also gave very practical suggestions on how he should move forward so number one how to view failure the rabbit was encouraging of this individual to not give up on himself the rabbit told this person wrote to this person that the same yet sir Hara the same evil inclination that is compelling one to sin or two things that we shouldn't be doing also compels us to beat ourselves up to feel bad about ourselves to say that we're Unworthy of actually succeeding so we can further not succeed and the rep told him that this propaganda of the atahara is going to hurt him spiritually but it's even going to hurt him physically there's going to be physical physiological ramifications let alone the mental psychosocial and for sure the spiritual ramifications of listening to the Sea Sahara the rep told them put in the effort and you try it you're going to succeed you're going to get there and then the rabbit proceeded to give him some practical suggestions whoever gave him four practical life adjustments that he can make to help attain self-control for the future number one and I'm paraphrasing here create a path of most resistance to this problem the reputation don't carry cash with you if you need small change because you need to buy certain things fine but don't carry enough cash that's going to lead you to perpetuating the issue remove the obstacle right this is a behavioral Intervention when you're experiencing some sort of um Affinity towards something you shouldn't be create more resistance you don't want to be on your phone all night put it on airplane mode or find somewhere to place your phone where it's going to be hard to get to you don't want to indulge in certain types of foods your eating problem make it harder for yourself to obtain that food right very practical number two the rabbit told them to secure your environment hang out with the right people hang out with the right crowd because we become like the people whom we hang out with if you don't want to have a drinking problem don't hang out with people who like to drink if you don't want to have whatever issue one may be struggling choose the right social group and by the way in our social media day and age where we have Facebook friends LinkedIn connections Instagram followers be careful who uh who you who you allow in your pocket who you allow in your home be careful which digital or virtual friends you have with number three the rapper told them to seek medical attention there are uh apparently certain medical interventions that one can take to help with overcoming their willpower and this is powerful you're going through a certain issue you don't have to reinvent the wheel find an expert in your issue find resources and listen to them number four the Reba said quote this is the most important fill the void when you feel that you are being drawn or compelled toward this behavior that you shouldn't be doing fill that time at that moment and study Torah but have passages of Torah study mishnah to illum or whatever it is have it readily available and be able to fill yourself with spirituality fill yourself with your connection with the gem when you're feeling that Affinity toward what you shouldn't be going toward in summation when you fail stop beating yourself up that's number one doesn't help and that's just what the atahar wants to to perpetuate number two there are very practical shifts simple shifts not necessarily easy but simple shifts that you can make so that you can succeed that's my story and I'm sticking to it