The Rebbe vs. Freud - why my counseling style changed

there was once a group of college students who had a meeting with the lab they had the opportunity to ask different questions and and get their questions answered and one of them asked what is the purpose of a rebbe what is the purpose of Jewish leadership and Reb had told them that a rebe Jewish leadership is like an archaeologist an archaeologist digs and comes up with something valuable not just dirt most people who dig if they don't know how to dig they don't know where to dig they're just going to come up with dirt re comes up with value and the re said that Freud was not a good archaeologist he dug into people and he came up with dirt he came up with problems he says my hope is to dig into people and come up with something beautiful to see your strengths to see ultimately that you have a soul that you are created in the Divine image when it comes to helping people you want to understand them you you don't have to address problems as you can address the other version of them the version of them that has deep pristine value and that's going to help why did Freud believe that you have to understand somebody's problem and bring that to light in order to help them so Freud although he was the father of psychology he was not a originally a psychologist by profession because psychology doesn't didn't exist he initiated it Freud was a neurologist he was a medical doctor and Freud made the mistake of comparing Medical Health to mental or spirit spiritual or metaphysical health and they're not the same when it comes to medical health you have to understand what the issue is you have to isolate the issue you have to understand maybe even have to understand its root cause and you have to somehow address the issue and Freud said let's do the same thing with mental health let's understand what the root cause of this problem is let's try to address it let's essentially problem solve and when you problem solve you bring problems to light you make those problems more relevant you make those problems stronger many a Time what one could actually do is not just address the problem address the part part of a person's life that isn't a problem address the possibility rather than the problem when you address problems you bring problems to light when you address possibilities you bring that version of that person to light you bring hope so if a person's depressed well what would you rather be isn't that valid isn't what you'd rather instead of depression just as valid is your depression not saying that your depression isn't real but what you would hope for instead is also real why don't we make that more relevant if somebody's anxious well what would you rather experience isn't that what you'd rather have instead of anxiety more meaningful than the anxiety itself wouldn't that equipped you to face your anxiety knowing that you have another option you have greater possibilities if a marriage is falling apart and there's tension in the marriage well what would you rather in that marriage the premise of this is two things number one if you want something you believe you can get there because you've had it in the past otherwise you wouldn't want it you can't you can't sample something you haven't tasted number two nothing stands in the way of what you truly want and if you could face your problems not from a vantage point of desperation and not as a victim not as a victim to trauma a victim to depression a victim to anxiety a victim to addiction or a failing marriage a relationship but if you could face your problems with from a vantage point of possibility from a vantage point of knowing that there is a part of me that is Untouchable from a part of drive and will because I have a drive for something else for a greater possibility you're going to be much more equipped to deal with that issue when clients come to me and they have a problem I have to empathize deeply with the problem that they're going through but what is more important in our discussion is what you want instead of the problem the possibilities it's not just masking the problem and let's do something else let's distract you take your mind off of it but there's another version of you where the problem is less relevant because nobody's perfect nobody's perfectly messed up so there's a problem there's a part of you where the problem is little bit less relevant and why don't we explore that version of you that's going to equip you to face your problems when You Face your Angels first you have the capacity to face your demons when you approach issues from this vantage point from understanding the possibilities rather than just trying to ruminate in the issue you actually have the ability to help somebody with literally any issue because you're helping them discover their true selves that has incredible drive that's my story and I'm sticking to it