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You need more than communication to stimulate a relationship. #chassidus

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Rabbi Josh Zebberman avatar
Rabbi Josh Zebberman

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If you really want to work on your relationship, you can't just work on communication. Communication is a distortment of truth. What I say to you right now represents thoughts. But it's a distorted version, a limited version of what I'm thinking. I can't share everything I'm thinking with you. So, I have to condense them into words. And even everything I'm thinking encapsulates my feelings. A distorted version of my feelings. Otherwise, I'd overwhelm my own mind. And those feelings are a distorted version, a condensed version of my drive, of my interests, which is a a distorted version of my passion, pleasure, and ultimately my identity. So what I say is the front end distorted version of who I really am. You won't really understand who I am by what I say. You'll understand who you think I am by what I say. The only way for me to really communicate myself and allow that to shine through without overwhelming you and without overwhelming myself is through being comfortable with who I am is through happiness is through joy. Tim together joy breaks through the boundaries. Communication is limited to a boundary. If I overcommunicate, I'm going to overwhelm you. But if I'm comfortable with who I am, then my identity will shine through. And this is how we improve relationships. We don't just improve the communication which is the mechanism.