Rabbi Mordechai Kraft - Parashat Vayigash

Okay. So, let's take a look over here. We're going to speak about Joseph today. And uh continue to speak about Joseph. And the question that I'd like to raise is a question of forgiveness. The question, did Joseph forgive his brothers? That's what I'd like to uh see if we go through a little bit in my own mind. You know, I mean it's a difficult challenge I think about it to forgive you know, brothers who uh you know, when you were 17 years old, took you and and and sold you into slavery. And uh you know, basically threw you out of family and they you're gone the next separated from your family for the next 22 years. Now, of course, Hashem is working into Hashem's plans obviously because that you know, Hashem turns it all around that it should be something which is which is very good and and ultimately so necessary for the salvation of the world, you know, to stop the famine and to, you know, bring on the destiny of Klaal Yisrael. But the question we want to deal with on a somewhat human level is it possible to forgive if someone does something like that to you? That that's really what I'm trying to to get at. Can you forgive if someone harms you like in that way? You know, and this is really a discussion of forgiveness. And is using Joseph as as our model. Is it possible? Okay. Good. Okay. So, you know, the place to begin this session really is with the Rambam. And the Rambam says something very interesting. The Rambam says you know, that there is a way to evoke tshuvah. Tshuvah means repentance. But a way to evoke repentance to forgiveness. You know, whether you're trying to evoke Hashem's forgiveness or or whether you're trying to evoke the forgiveness from from a human being. So, how do you do that? So, it has to follow a certain formula. What's the formula? The formula is you have to turn to Hashem, you have to turn to another person, and you have to say the following words. You have to say "Chatati lefanekha." Which means literally means I sinned against you. I hurt you. And there's to be a subject, there's to be an "I" mean an "I". There's to be a verb. I misjudged you. I I I uh was wrong. I didn't I I I hurt, you know, I said words that hurt. You know, I I uh I spoke badly about you. Whatever what whatever it is. And you have to say you have to say it was I. And I hurt you. And then it requires that formula, "Ani chatati lefanekha." And that's exactly what we say on Yom Kippur. That's the formula of Yom Kippur. It works with Hashem and it works with people. But, you have to say those words. There has to be the acknowledgement of what one did. There has to be the vulnerability where one says that yeah, I really I really did hurt you. You know, I I I you know, I misjudged you. And I'm sorry. I was wrong. You know, and the fact that we say those words where we say it's the I, we acknowledge what we did. We acknowledge the other person's feeling. We acknowledge I did it to you. So, the Rambam almost calls it like a magic of teshuvah that Hashem or another person could find it in their heart to forgive. Now, I'll I'll give this little explanation why I think that that works. It's because, you know, who are we really in a sense? You know, we're really in many ways changing constantly. You know, we're suddenly aging. You know, we look at ourselves pictures 5 10 years ago. We notice changes in ourselves, you know, maybe a year ago, 2 years ago. We're shedding skin cells daily. You know, our whole I think we shed our body weight and skin cells over over skin cells over a certain period of time. And we're also growing and changing spiritually. And change spiritually means that when we wake up in the morning, we're really new creations. And who we are is really a function of of of what's going on in our brains, our minds, our hearts. And and it's changing always. It doesn't stay the same. We're working on ourselves. We're we're improving. And the main way we improve and change is when we regret the past, so to speak. We regret that which we did which was was not correct. And when we do that, there's that regret demonstrates that there's a new I and that new I therefore Hashem says, "Okay, you're a new I. I give you a a new lease." And and another person says the same thing, "I You're not the same guy as yesterday. I see that in you." And and therefore I'm willing to give you, you know, to go forward with the relationship because of of the regret. I see a new person in front of me. And but there has to be that regret. There has to be those words of I hurt you. You know, I I I I spoke cruelly and those words weren't thought out. I was wrong to say that and how could I say that to you? If if one acknowledges, expresses it, says it directly to the person, there's room for the other person to find in their heart to forgive. So, the question I want to deal with is did Joseph forgive his brothers? So, let's take a look at I want to take you through through something which I think is extraordinarily um fascinating to me. And the way we're going to take a look at it, we're going to switch parshas. And the other parsha is Vayechi, which is exactly where we're holding right now in the Torah. This parsha is Vayechi. So, listen to this. I'm going to just go through the steps of this last scene in the parsha, this last scene between Joseph and his brothers. This is really where the parsha is going to end and just before Vayechi begins. So, I'm going to take you through it over here. What happens is is that when the old Yaakov dies Rabbi, could could you call out the the book and chapter so we can Sure. Yeah, sure, John. So, we're on in Vayechi, Genesis, we're on um Sorry, that's chapter 50. Do you see that chapter chapter 50, verse uh 14. Okay, it just says the end. Chapter 50, verse 14. So, it says that we know that Yaakov dies and Yosef gets permission from Pharaoh to bury Yaakov where at the the Ma'arat Machpelah, the the cave in um in Chevron, you visit today. Yaakov's grave where he's buried together with Leah. And then Rachel's not buried there, she's buried with the the the Bethlehem, Kever Rachel, which is uh few miles away outside of Bethlehem, Bethlehem. And then it says in verse 14, "Vayashav Yosef Yisrael uv'echav." Yosef returns to Egypt, he and his brothers. "Kol ha'olim ito likbor et aviv." All who came up with him from Egypt to bury his father. "Acharei kavro et aviv." After they buried his father. Okay? Oh, wow. Thank you, John. Beautiful. Thank you very much. Thank you. We were you're good you're good you're good to me. I tried. So, it says So, there's listen to listen to this. So, I'm Okay, let me read this. It says, "Vayashav Yosef Yisrael Yosef returned from Egypt, he and his brothers, and all who went up with him to bury his father after burying his father." How many times does it say that they buried his father there? Well, let's see. It uh one, two, two times. Okay. Clearly, they just came back from burying his father. I think no doubt about that. And then in verse 15, it says, The you are after Joseph. And the brothers of Joseph saw he makes a beer. That their father died. Well, what? What do you mean that he saw his their father had died? Didn't they just return from burying his their father? And the passage before tells us two times they were there burying the flowers of his burying his fathers. They were their fathers. What does it mean? And the brothers saw the brothers of Joseph saw that their father died. Of course they know their father died. They just came back from burying him. So, Rashi comments on that. And this is what Rashi says. Malveo, what did he see? He killed when he saw so at so Joseph. They saw in his death that something had changed in Joseph. They saw that something had changed in Joseph. What had changed in Joseph? Well, it says, Should we give me so a sugar hammer that Joseph when Jacob was alive had always invited his brothers to eat at his table. Why in the cover be sure covered of it? And they thought that he was inviting them because of the honor of his father. Then it says a little bit deeper. It says that apparently Joseph when he when he would sit at the table, Joseph would sit at the head of the table. And the reason why he sit at the head of the table was because Jacob insisted. Joseph wasn't the oldest. But Jacob insisted that he he sit at the head of the table. So, Joseph wasn't the oldest father. After Jacob died, Joseph thought, "How can I sit at the head of the table? I have all the brothers." Reuben, Shimon, Levi, Judah. You know, Reuben is the before Leah. Judah is supposed to be the middle of the kingdom eventually. I can't sit at the head of the table. I I have brothers. All the brothers do me. And so, Joseph didn't know what to do. So, what did he do? He stopped inviting them. Now, how does his brothers interpret that? In the converse 15 again, the end of verse 15, what do the brothers say? The Yom Yom, the brothers say, Louis is the man of Joseph. It must mean that Joseph hates us. Louis is the man of the Yom Louis is the man of Joseph. That Joseph hates us. So, interesting, you know what you learn from that point? I never hear once in my relationship that that's that sometimes you could have my locusts, disputes between people, because of positive intention. Joseph wanted to protect the dignity of his brothers. So, he stopped inviting them. His brothers interpreted that as he must hate us. In Joseph's mind, in Joseph's mind, Joseph couldn't imagine that his brothers would think that he could hate them because he loved his brothers so much. In his brothers' minds, the brother mind of his brothers, his brothers couldn't imagine Joseph wouldn't hate them. So, he you know, it's interesting, sometimes you can have disagreements and misunderstandings and and disputes because both people have such pure hearts. I can't imagine what's in your heart, and you can't imagine what's in my heart. Do you know the solution to that is? Always tell people why you're doing things. Speak out what you're doing and why you're doing it. You know, for example, you know, like you don't invite somebody to a to a party. And the person comes to you and says, you know, I'm so upset that you what why don't you invite me? You can't you can't do that. So, you say, look, I couldn't invite you to you know you know why? You know what? I don't know why. Why? Don't you know that your your your your ex was going to be there? If I invited you, you would have felt so uncomfortable. I couldn't invite you. So, why didn't you tell me? You know, speak it out to me. See, that's the how important it is that in certain situations, tell people why you do things. It would can a lot of problems. So the brothers think that Joseph hates them. That was in the verse. So now they want to repay us for all the bad. He wants to repay us for all the bad we did to them. In verse 16, and they gathered around Joseph saying, Your father commanded before he died saying, Thus said Joseph, Please lift up the crime of your brothers. The crime also and the sin. They did evil to you. And now please raise up the crime of the servants of the God of your father. Joseph cried and he spoke to them this. Interesting. They gathered around Joseph and they basically said to Joseph, Your father commanded before he died saying, Thus said to Joseph, Please forgive the sins of your brothers. Basically what they're saying. Dad said before he died that you should forgive the sins of your brothers. Well, first of all, number one, Rashi tells us that they lied. Rashi says that they lied. They lied for peace. You know, we're allowed to lie sometimes. Sometimes we're allowed to lie. One reason we're allowed to lie is for peace. Someone invites Someone asks you, How do you like the the cholent? What are you supposed to say? Delicious. How do you like the um you know, How do you like the whatever it is, how do you like the kugel? You says, "Delicious." You can lie for peace. And you know, we want Hashem sometimes wants us to sacrifice truth that there should be harmony between people. That's Hashem's will. By the way, you know, from a Torah perspective or other, if you have to lie for peace, you have to make sure that you you make the lie before the person asks you. Because once they ask, it's too late. Before they ask you, "How do you like the cholent?" What do you have to say? Cholent's delicious. Cuz once they ask you, you can't say, "I don't like it." You know, it's interesting that one time my my father told me My father is a physicist. And he um he was a professor for a number of years at West Point at the United States Military Academy. And so, at the Military Academy, they have a law. One of the rules for the cadets is that you can't lie. And there's a very good reason for it. The reason is because that, you know, they're going to be officers in the army. And as officers in the army, you have to tell the truth. You know, people's lives might depend on you telling the truth. So, truth is a highly valued commodity in West Point. And then they had a question, but like Let me tell you what my father said to me. He said like, you know, the cadets weren't allowed to drink at the local bars. So, if you go to get out of the local bar and you see a cadet having a drink there, a beer, next thing you you confront him. You shouldn't say to him, "Were you at the bar?" Cuz if he lies, he could be expelled. You could say something like, "What what's this about you in the bar?" Something like that. Let him explain himself. He might be penalized for it in some way, but he won't be kicked out of the academy. So, they had a question. My father said, "That supposing you're invited over to your colonel's house, and the family They're very like family-oriented at West Point. And um and his wife makes a meatloaf. And she asks you, "How do you like the meatloaf?" And it's terrible. Can you lie in order to spare feelings? So, they concluded, yeah, you're allowed to lie to spare feelings. So, my father's very excited about that. And he called me and I said, "Look, the laws of West Point are just like the laws in the Torah. You can lie for peace." So, I think about it a little bit. I said, "You know, yes and no." We can certainly lie for peace. But according to the Torah, you have to anticipate the question in life first. And how do we know that? Because then when you When a man gets married, a husband gets married, he's supposed to go over to the katan and say, "You just married an isha no'amah a woman who's lovely and righteous." And you're not supposed to wait till he asks you, "How do you like her?" You have to go over to him first and tell him that. Why? Cuz it says in the Torah that if if he has to wait, if he has to ask you first, it means you don't really think she is lovely and righteous. So, you see then that when you tell a lie for peace, what do you do? You lie before the questions. So, I said to my father, you know, man's law could could say that if asked, you can lie. But the sensitivity of of Hashem is he has to be so sensitive that he mean before you're asked, you have to anticipate the question by Okay, in any case. So, what they're doing is is correct. They're not wrong in what they're saying. They're doing something which is absolutely correct by um by lying for peace. Now, how do we know, by the way? You know, it's interesting. We know the lying for because first of all, the brothers never told Yaakov. And it's also very fascinating that it says at the end of the Midrash with the whole time he's down in Mitzrayim, that during the 17 years that Yosef wasn't even with his father. You know, Yaakov dies at at 147. And he comes down, he's 130. This this is the parsha where where he dies. For those 17 years that Yaakov was with Yosef in Egypt, Yosef never allowed himself to be alone with Yaakov. That's what the Midrash says. He never let himself have a private audience with his father. There always had to be someone else there. And it says, why? Because he was afraid that Yakov would ask him a question. You know, how did you get down here? What happened? And even if he tried to you know, get around the question, Yakov was smart enough to realize that it's something to do with the brothers. So, he basically avoided his father with direct contact direct contact with his father for 17 years. And the say it more strongly, he sacrificed the relationship with his father, which is probably the most important relationship in his life. He valued He wanted Yakov's Torah. He was basically the spiritual inheritor of Yakov's Torah. He could use Yakov's wisdom just to be You know, Yakov was also a politician. Yakov had enormous wisdom. How do I How do I manage this this position of of of providing for the world because he used Yakov's advice. And maybe most importantly, he wanted his love. He wanted the relationship of a father to his son. And Yosef gave it all up in order that Yakov should never think badly about the brothers. You know, I always think to myself, you know, Yosef is called Yosef HaTzaddik. He's really the only one of our Avos who has that appellation, HaTzaddik, the righteous one. There are many reasons why. I mean, in my mind, I think this is one of the reasons as well. So, the brothers were lying correctly so. But what they say is a little disturbing. Let's look at the words again. Go tell Yosef, verse 17, Thus said Yosef, I am a son of Asher HaTzaddik. Let me go back one word. It says, We said to Yosef, being in verse in in in in 16, They gathered around Yosef saying, Our father had commanded us to say also, You father commanded before he died saying, Go tell say to Joseph, I'm a son of Jacob. Please forgive the sins of your brothers. What's awesome? The iniquity. He robbed them of all of them also. Cuz they did evil to you. The after now, son of the pressure, please raise up the crime of the of the local people. Of the service of the God of your father. And yet he also got a lot. Joseph cried when he said this to them. And in verse 18, yeah? So not only are they just there like are they thinking badly of him that he can't forgive them and and be happy for them. They're also assuming that he told his father. Right. They don't know what happened. Yeah, because they certainly didn't tell Jacob. But they're assuming Joseph told him cuz they're assuming he knows. They're assuming Joseph did right. They're they're basing their right to confronting Joseph. why? Because his father isn't telling them to do anything if he didn't tell the father about what happened. So, They're lying. Yeah, and and Joseph must have been lying. You know, but uh unless maybe Joseph thinks that maybe they told their father. He doesn't know. So maybe Joseph didn't tell. But what's interesting, my listen listen to this. Does this statement fill the requirements of the Rambam that we began the discussion with? The Rambam says in order to evoke a person's forgiveness, one has to follow formula where there's a subject, a verb, and a pronoun. I need to talk to the local people. I sinned against you. I misjudged you. I thought you were We thought we misjudged you. We thought you were dangerous. We ruined your life by selling you into slavery and being out of the family for 22 years. We were wrong. We regretted with every fiber of our being. We want to be brothers again. Can you forgive us? Mhm. That's the bottom formula. We hurt you. That's what the brothers said. What did the brothers say? They gathered and Joseph saying of the hot cedar leaves them also. Your father commanded before he died saying son now pay sure a helper. Please forgive the sins of your brothers. Dad said before he died you should forgive us. Mhm. You know, interesting like you know, imagine that um Bobby smacks his little sister Susie. Susie goes crying to her room. And uh then dad walks in, what happened over here? And you know, I was sitting I hit I hit Susie. Dad says, you go apologize. So uh Bobby knocks on the door of Susie, you know. And Susie opens up, what do you want? Dad said I should forgive you. Dad said you should forgive me. What would Susie do? Slam. Dad said that you should forgive me. Is not exactly I'm sorry I hurt you. I hurt you. I hit you. I was impetuous. I was I was I wasn't thinking. I was angry. I hit you. I'm sorry. Dad said you should forgive me. Isn't exactly I hit you. I'm sorry. What did the brothers say to Joseph? Dad said before he died that you should forgive us. Dad said you should forgive me. I think Susie would accept that. Why? Because it is lacking in the essential ingredients of truthful. The essential ingredient must be that there's an acknowledging of of one's crime so to speak. And and when you see that I acknowledge and I make myself vulnerable it least I really changed because that vulnerability hurts. Yet the brothers aren't doing that. They're saying dad said before he died that you should forgive us. You know, that's not what they're saying? Go tell Joseph say to Joseph I'm the son of please forgive the sins of your brothers. Say to tell Joseph that you said that you that you should forgive the sins of your brothers because of the evil to you. Oh, almost speech there. But the essence of what his dad said you should forgive us. Not that we hurt you and we're sorry. Where's the vulnerability? They haven't What's that? They haven't asked for forgiveness by this point. I mean, these are righteous men. What's wrong with them? Yeah, look I'm look again that's a good point. I'm not I'm you know, we right the whole the story is working the brothers are great tzaddik. Each one of them has their name engraved on the on the one of the told them that the coin God would wear as he performed the vote of we They're noble tzaddikim. And yet they're they're there's something that's happening over here where they're certainly regretting. I regret that is there. But for some reason what it looks like is that the vulnerability is missing. The vulnerability comes when you say, "I hurt you and I'm sorry." It takes a lot to say that because it's painful to say that. And you're really putting yourself on the line, but that's what triggers the forgiveness. When one can look at you and say that vulnerability that you've expressed really shows me that you want this really that you're a new person. The brothers are regretting like they give a whole speech. Say to Joseph, "I'm the son of please raise up the crying of your brothers." They call it the crime. And their sin cuz evil they did to you. And now son of the and now please lift up the crying of the servants of the God of your father. Because of the crime of the servants, the God of the servants of the God of your father. You know, they the Yevchiels of God, Joseph cries. They suddenly acknowledge the crime. We we there was a crime. But what's missing in that little statement is we did this to you. Instead they're saying, "Dad said you should forgive us." Dad said say Joseph that Joseph should forgive them for the crime. Not we sinned against you. They're hiding. I think. Let's go a little Let's go a little further. Joseph cries, by the way. It's very moving. Joseph cries at the acknowledgement of the regret. But let's go a little further. Just got 18. Just bring up a higher Jonah. In 18 says, Is it the year who come forgive for the father? And the brothers go and and the brothers actually fall on their face faces. The young one they say, "We never call you a bottom. We'll be your slaves." They fall on the ground and say, "We'll be your We'll be slaves to you." Interesting. Did Joseph want them to be slaves or where did that come from? For 17 years Joseph avoids his father. So that the father said Jacob should never think badly about the brothers during his lifetime. And the brother should never be ashamed to be in the presence of the father. And now he's the brother saying to them, "Let us be your slaves." Brothers don't want Joseph doesn't want slaves. He wants brothers. It sounds to my ear. Maybe it could it sounds curious to say to your ear. It sounds to my ear that that the that expression of "We'll be your slaves." Again is almost like saying what they should have said is they should have fallen on their faces and said, "We want to be your We want to be a brothers again. Let's be brothers again. To say we'll be your slaves is almost like avoiding the vulnerability. Does Joseph want to be slaves? What does he want that for? He wants to He wants to He wants brothers. If they're not saying we'll be your brothers, they almost are ashamed to say ashamed to say that. They can't get that word out of their mouths. We want to be your brothers cuz to say we want to be your brothers is a much more vulnerable statement. How wrong we were in misjudging you as a brother and causing you not to be a brother. We want to be your brothers again. It's much easier to say we want to be your We'll be slaves. We'll be your We're so regretful. We'll be slaves to you. Do you hear that a little bit in there? That takes less vulnerability. Than to say we want to be your brothers again because that's really acknowledging we miss we we you know The job of brothers is to stand up for you. That's what brothers do. Brothers protect brothers. We did not do that to you. We were not brotherly to you. We were the opposite of brothers to you. We tried to kill you. We tried and we sold you. We want to be brothers again. That would show a greater feeling of of the That would be vulnerable. We want to be your brothers and That would be more of an acknowledgement almost of of quote would be closer than we want to be your slave. What does Joseph want to be slaves for? Why would he say such a thing? Again, the the The regret is there. But the direct expression of we harmed you is still missing. We did something to you. The vulnerability is is isn't isn't there entirely in my ear. Do you hear that, everybody? And this is what Joseph says back to them. The yo then Joseph Genesis 45, thank you. The yo then Joseph Joseph says to them, "Al tiroc, don't be afraid. Ki ataka the I'm another guy. Am I substitute for God? I'm another guy. You don't have anything to share. Don't be so afraid. I can have verse 20. You thought evil against me. I will keep the door open, but God intended that it should be for the good. In order that I should be in a position now to to sustain and give life to a to an arm rob. To a uh to to a great nation. And Joseph is in a position to to to feed the world. So, interesting. They said back they said Joseph listen, you know, dad said before he died that you should forgive us. And what does Joseph say back? Joseph says back, "Guys, don't worry. Everything's from Sham. You tried to hurt me, but God made it good." You know what's missing in Joseph's speech? What's missing in Joseph's speech is "I forgive you." It looks like everybody's hiding. Who is everybody hiding behind? Everybody's behind is hiding behind a father figure. Joseph is hiding behind I see the brothers are hiding behind dad. And Joseph is hiding behind God. Dad said before he died you forgive us. Guys, don't worry. You tried to harm me, but a sham turned it around. Like, where is the direct conversation with him? It seems like something's happening. Regret is there. But hiding behind dad, hiding behind his father, is exactly what one can't do when one's trying to evoke forgiveness from another. One has to show the vulnerability. We harmed you. We misjudged you. We ruined your life, and we regret it and we want to be brothers again. Now that dad said before he died that you should raise up the that you should give this into your brothers and we'll be your slaves. And Joseph's response is, "Guys, don't worry so much. I I believe in God. I can't hurt you. And look, you tried to harm me, but it shall turn around and all shall be good. So, don't worry so much. Everything is fine." Is it really fine? It hasn't gotten anywhere. It's getting close. But the real ingredient to evoke forgiveness is missing. The real ingredient where one perhaps shows that vulnerability and therefore demonstrates, "I'm a different, changed person." Because of the vulnerability I'm showing in the in the direct when I ask you for forgiveness and say what I did to you and go through that, you know, the have to feel the pain of how wrong I was by saying the words to you and you seeing me that I acknowledge it and I own it and I regret it and so painful I'm doing anyway cuz I want the relationship to be whole. That's a new person in front of you. And then the other person is able to say, "You know," then the other person is able to say, "Yeah, I see you're a new person. I forgive you." But that's not what Joseph says. Joseph says, "Guys, don't worry. God meant it all good." So, you're going to hide behind dad. So, I'll hide behind that. You have two fathers in this world. Right? You have our earthly father and heavenly father. You'll be hiding behind your earthly father. I'll hide behind our heavenly father. We're both playing the same game. Now, I'm not saying this to I'm not saying they're playing it consciously, but they're playing the same game. Let's go a little further here, we go. So, John the disciple of one You can't. Thank you. He says, "Now, Joseph says to me, "After all that you wrote," "Don't be afraid." And all tell you what, you're wrong. Don't be afraid. I'll sustain you with your children. You know, just go to verse 20. Let's skip verse 20. Let's go down here. Verse 20 says, yeah, 20. He said, "Tell me you that you have a shot in Iraq. I turned out to be good. I read that the man of Saki was out like in Iraq. They just stayed in a great nation." 21, the after after all, and I don't be afraid. Hey guys, don't be afraid. I'll tell you what, you're wrong. I'll sustain you. The top of him and your children. And at the end of the verse, he says, "The Iraq him or something." And he comforted them. The Iraq him or something. Can you hear me or something? Did you hear me? Can you hear me or something? I can't hear you. Maybe. I can't hear you. You can't hear me? I can't hear you. No, I don't hear anything. You can't hear Is everybody hearing me, by the way? Yeah, give me a thumbs up. You hear me fine? hear you. Yeah. Well, with uh If you can't hear me, don't be With headphones, you can hear you properly. Okay, okay. With headphones, you can hear me? Can you hear me with headphones? Yeah? Yeah, I'm not using headphones. I can hear you fine. You hear me fine, okay. Everybody hear me? There, you hear me? Okay. Good. And if you can't hear me, I don't want to be polite, please tell me you can't hear me. Okay, cool. You're good. Excellent. Okay, great. Um so, what does this say over here? In verse 21, it says, he said, "The end of the passage says, do not be afraid. I'll sustain you and your children." The Iraq him or something. The Iraq him or something. And he comforted them. Oh, nice picture. The The Iraq him or something. And he comforted them. also. The Adabe Aliba. And he comforted them. And he spoke to their hearts. The Enachim Adabe Aliba. Now interesting, what does it mean? The Enachim means to comfort. Joseph still sees they're fearful. So he wants to comfort them. The Enachim of some he wants to speak directly to their hearts. So let's learn what he said to them. What what did Joseph say to comfort them? They wants to comfort them. They they're so nervous. They maybe he's planning some sort of plans for revenge. They're not comfortable. He wants to say words that will speak directly to their hearts. So when what would we pay to listen in on that conversation? I'd pay a lot of money. Fortunately, we have that conversation right in front of us. Where do we have it? We have it in Rashi. In the oral law and in the Midrashim there is this conversation apparently is is part of the Midrashim. We have a record of this conversation of this conversation or the essence of this conversation. Jonathan, are you able to go to to to look at the get Rashi and the commentators below? Where you see you see it's the commentators. And if you um yeah, so if you go to verse Rashi, yeah. The Rashi verse 21. Let's see. Uh on Exodus, yeah. But I think you just click right on the bottom of the text. Do you see there? No, it's on it scrolls down to Genesis. That's Exodus. Genesis, sorry. Should be Should be right there. You see it's on the page. You just click down. Or under the text. Yeah, the commentary commentary. Yeah. Go to commentary page. Rashi good. Excellent. So I go to verse 21. Okay. Uh slide down. This thing after you got the answer from one. Okay, maybe it doesn't have it. Oh, we got to leave it. There it goes. Okay. So, listen to what he says. They actually have very antiquated uh English here, but I'll read it if you follow with me on the Rashi. Again, what is Rashi doing? You know, Rashi's self-proclaimed mission is Rashi is trying to integrate the oral law together with the the written law. Where he feels the written law needs greater clarification or or problems, he he brings in the places from the oral law that he gives greater clarity. So, Rashi feels on this verse, he spoke to their heart, this is the midrash that he feels is is the conversation that was is in the oral law that describes what he said. So, we got to leave on. I'll read I'll read I'll translate in English later. He said he spoke to the the double leap on. He spoke to their hearts. Divine is carbon aleh. Words that can be accepted by their hearts. So, he says to them, actually rather to the come before you came down here, I am the running the life here and the other people. People used to mock me that I'm a slave. But I did know that I am in home. But through your hands, it's known that I'm really a free person. Why you know, why would they mock him? Because he was a slave and then he was in the prison and then he was elevated to be the mission of the mouth, the viceroy. And the probably there was even a law in Egypt that a a slave could never never be a citizen. Surely couldn't be a a leader of the government, you know. So, probably part of himself changed the law for Joseph. A good thing to do this life like you know. You are probably you could do this sort of things. Like you know in the government, you need money, to print it yourself. It means that the way that it 1 trillion, another 1 trillion. So, power changed the law, but people still mocked Yoselach. He was just he's just a slave. So, Yoselach says to his brothers, "Before you came down, people used to mock me that I'm a slave. Value there can nourish and become But through you it's known that I'm really a a free man. But I need a Vegas hand. And now I come to And now I would kill you? My real son was What would people possibly want people think? What would they say? Catch up the coin rather than you should be with them. This this set of of of young men he sees and he becomes praised through them. The other a high end. He says, "These are my brothers." Now, the brothers were so magnificent in stature, the way in appearance, they were beautiful in appearance, they they were even physique and in in in in spirituality and in wisdom. They Jacob was royalty. You know that that power has a meeting with him and power asks for his blessing and and kind of blessing was that the now should come to greet you. They understood who his family was. And Yoselach says, "These are my brothers." All of a sudden for Yoselach and And he And he kills them? Yes, the actual the children gets a hot. Is there such thing as a brother who kills brothers? Guys, don't be so nervous. Don't be so worried. I can't kill you. It would look bad for me. Again, what's what's the essence of that? Before you came down, people used to mock me and say that I'm a slave, but through your hands it's known that I'm really a Ben Horan, I'm free. Body of Vegas hand. And now I come to kill you? My real son was What would people say? I catch you with coin rather than you should be with them. He sees this amazing group of young men. He himself becomes praised as a result of them. The other hand He says, "These are my brothers. Although I suffer and then he comes to kill them." He says that you have a brother who kills brothers. Guys are like kill you. People would think they're not really my brothers. That would be bad for me. So guys you don't have to worry. I can't I won't harm you. I can't kill you. What is He's speaking common sense to them. I have said once in the name of the teleprompter only I was talking to the doctor. He said, you know, he said he was speaking horse sense. You know, sometimes you just have to speak to a person in a way that's very practical. I'm just trying to say guys don't be nervous. I can't kill you. It'll look bad for me. Before you came down people used to mock me. Through you they see that I'm from the such a illustrious family. You know. And and I claim that you're my brothers. That's my connection to this five hundred. You're my brothers and I'm really part of this illustrious family. I'm not a slave. And if I were to kill you, what would people say? You know. You know, brothers don't kill brothers. You must not really be my your brothers. So guys don't worry so much. Now he's really trying to calm them down through this. He's really trying to Try to think of another way. Thank you. He's really trying to calm them down through the statement. You look at that we take the sphere. And it's You have to answer my question on this. In the eyes of the brothers is this statement comforting or absolutely terrifying? Is it comforting or terrifying? You have to do with the screen. You can take the the verse off there. Terrifying. Yeah, I'm going to read it to you in a different way. Listen to this now. I'm going to read it to you a little differently here. I'm going to reflect my voice a little different. Listen to the difference in inflection. It says, you double the fun. You spoke words that under this common life with the hearts good except. Actually right in the con before you guys came down and I had run and run and run and run and run. Previously marked me that I'm a slave. But I you did notice I need calling. But through you it's known that I'm really a free person. I need all the greatest con. Now I would come to kill you. My people saw those. What would people say? Catch up with him. I would have stopped back for him. This he sees this set of of of of illustrious young man man and he becomes praised as a result of them. The other hand and he says, "These are my brothers." The soft a lot of sun and then he killed all of them. Now listen to this. I'm going to reflect the last part a little differently this time. Guys, Yeshua ach shachora yesa ach. Is there such a thing as a brother who killed his brother? Mhm. If you're the brothers, what are you thinking? Yes, there is such thing as a brother who would kill his his brothers. You know who they are? Us. There is such thing as brothers who would kill a brother. That's what we tried to do to you. Did you hear this? On the one hand, he's offering words which he's trying to comfort them. Guys, I can't kill you cuz it'll look bad for me. People won't believe that I'm really you you're really my brothers. Because Yeshua ach shachora yesa ach, is there such a thing as a brother who killed his brothers? They give you the same words and the different It's just different inflection. Yeshua ach shoharei yeshua ach. Rabbi? Yes. Is it kind of Okay, this is a ridiculous martial, but it's just what I'm thinking of with like the blood on your hands. We had to do Macbeth in high school, and there was this I don't exactly remember what happened, but I think it was the mother of the wife or something, and so she had blood on her hands, and she couldn't get over it. That's all I remember. But the idea is if you have blood on your hands, if you've killed, or if you've like the brothers effectively killed, and then it didn't work out, then you kind of see within that context, and you can't imagine a different context. Like they they've kind of put themselves into the guilty party for eternity, haven't they? So now they can't consider anything else outside of that. Exactly. That That's exactly the point we're getting at. Yosef is speaking to the hearts. Trying to give them words for why he can't harm them. But the words he uses to say why he can't harm them from the perspective of the brothers are exactly the words which they would think would be the reason he would want to harm them. Guys, I can't harm you. Yeshua ach shoharei yeshua ach, is there such thing as a brother who kills his brothers? Or you could just listen to the same words differently. Yeshua ach shoharei yeshua ach. Guys, is there such thing as a brother who kills brothers? If you're a brother who tried to kill his brothers, or you're the brothers who tried to kill his brother, exactly as I'm saying, with those words ringing in your ear in a completely different way. Yes. I don't understand, Rabbi. Why are they acting like they have blood on their hands, like that lady from Macbeth, if the entire time they don't even think they have to really give an apology, because they think that they were righteous, and even when they saw that he was there, they thought they were right in what they were doing. They didn't think that they apologized. They thought they were right. And And they they They thought they were right, but it was a shame they had to do that. Like they weren't really apologizing. So even now they're not fully apologizing for what they did. How is it that they both believe so much so that they did that they were wrong that they can't imagine he would forgive them, but also not that they were wrong enough that they'd actually ask for apology. Well, you know you know it's true you know that after when they first see Joseph, he says shame on us where where you know you know they Oh, and you shouldn't have put him in prison actually for Yes, they should have allowed him to put Yes in the pit. So Yes was put in prison Yes, he was like a prison war for 3 days. And the brothers do say shame on us we're ashamed. But again, they never say because we sold him. They said because we didn't feel his pain enough. We didn't feel enough of his pain when he was in the pit crying and we weren't we weren't sensitive enough. So again, they never acknowledge at that juncture that they were wrong. Just that they didn't feel enough of him. But certainly now, you know, 17 years later when it's all said and done and and they realize how wrong they were, that Joseph was not an enemy, he wasn't a rebel. He wasn't someone who was trying to undermine the mission of Jacob. He was trying to to push forth the mission of Jacob and and he has only only good intentions. They certainly recognize they were wrong. And and and their speech I think does demonstrate that. And their speech of Dad said before he died that you should forgive the sins of your brother. They do say the sins of your brothers over and over and over again. The sins, the crime of your brother, the the iniquity of your brother, the evil that they tried to do to you. Again, the acknowledgement of of what they've done is there. The regret and and the intellectual realization that that we were wrong. But what we're suggesting is is what's lacking is the vulnerability. Where they say, "We hurt you directly. Not Dad said you should forgive us, but we harmed you. We misjudged you. We're sorry. We want to be brothers. As opposed to Dad said, you should forgive us. We want to be your slaves. That's That's different speech. The vulnerability of of we regret and we harmed you and we're admitting it. That's what's lacking. And And again, they're great people, as is mentioned, right? They're great people and would they they would they certainly wouldn't want to say it, but they're not saying it for some reason. Not that they don't want to say it. They want to, but they can't, you know? Maybe it hurts too much. It hurts to be vulnerable. You know, that's why you That's why forgiving That's why being vulnerable allows the other person to forgive you because it hurts. Because of being vulnerable you're hurting. Maybe it does hurt just too much to say those words. It's easy to say we're your slaves and we want to be your brothers. Cuz if you're brothers, then you would destroy the brotherliness. Rather we'll be your slaves. You're the king, we'll be the slaves is is is is is is That is painful, but to say we ruined brotherhood. You know? So they want it. I I would suggest they they they want it. They they want that relationship. They They're not They're They want it to be restored, but they're not saying the words. And therefore, when Joseph speaks to their hearts, he says, "Don't worry, I'm not going to harm you." He gives a little speech. Joseph says something which, you know, is is very practical on one hand, right? It's very practical that I can't hurt you because of what God did for me. You know, all these people are making fun of me. They're going to say I'm They're going to claim that you're my brothers. How can I kill you? Cuz people would say brothers don't kill brothers. But those same words, brothers don't kill brothers, do they? It's like you could say those words in two ways. On the one hand, you could say those words to comfort them. I can't kill you. Brothers don't kill brothers. And the same way you could say those same words and absolutely terrify the brothers. Brothers don't kill brothers, do they? Could I I'm sorry, can Can a question as well? Sure. who's speaking? I'm just uh Rena. I'm just wondering um why would he use these words in terms of what would others would think of me rather than what would God would think of me? Cuz typically anytime he would speak to like to the Pharaoh or anybody else, he would say because of God. God gave me this. God gave me that. Right. So So that's what I'm thinking he's really It's that he's speaking as Rashi says, he's speaking words that their hearts can accept. He's You know, words that his common law life that's the beginning of Rashi. Words that their hearts uh their heart can can can be real to them. As I see you're afraid of me. Don't be afraid. Why? Because I need you. People mocked me, said I was a slave. But through you they see I'm part of this illustrious family. I claim you're my brothers. So you're my You know, you're my ticket to respectability. And if I kill you, what would people say? You know, claims they're the brothers. He claims that they're his brothers and kills them. Brothers don't kill brothers. So he's saying words that their heart can accept. What would people say means, you know, it looks bad for me to hurt you. That's what they're trying He's trying to comfort them. Like common sense. Like poor sense almost. Now there's nothing that Hashem would say. He's really trying to say to them, "Look, I I before they came down, people used to they used to make fun of me, mock me behind my back. Never to his face I might add. But behind my back just to mock me saying I'm a slave. But through you, people see I'm not a slave. So if I kill you, what will people say? He says they're his brothers. You know, he he says that these are his brothers and he kills them. Like brothers don't kill brothers. They can't really be his brother. So he's really That's why he says, "What will people say?" He's trying to tell them, "You know, I need you. If I kill you, people will think that I'm still just a slave, you know." All right, thank you. But what I'm thinking what he's trying to communicate there, what's interesting is the This is so fascinating to me. It just seems like there's a lot of lack of honesty of what they're talking about. Not that they're not honest people, but we currently live in a society that's so much about tell-all, say everything that you're feeling. So, I guess it's hard to look at this and see so much being concealed and so much not being said and so many, you know, it's almost like a ridiculous, you know, TV show of all the drama coming about because people aren't communicating basic things. Um, but it's true, but again, this is difficult to communicate. Again, the reason why true love works is because person makes himself vulnerable. The reason why forgiveness is is evoked from the other is that vulnerability. And it must be very difficult for the brothers to say those words. It's easier to hide behind the father. And that's why you also hide behind God, right? Like, you tried to harm me, so you know, I God turned it out to be good. But I'm not hearing from you that vulnerability. Again, they're trying to get it out. Everyone's trying and trying and trying. And even Joseph, that's why even Joseph at the end Again, this conversation is recorded in the Midrash and and Rashi brings this to be the simplest explanation what it means when he's trying to comfort their hearts. And on the one hand, like if we know as asking before, he he is trying to comfort their hearts. He is trying to say words to them which they can accept. Guys, I can't kill you, it looks bad for me. Cuz if I kill you, people will think that you're not really my brothers and therefore I'm only asleep. And and brother, you know, people would say, you know, cuz why why would they think that? Because I kill you. How can I kill you cuz brothers don't kill brothers? So, don't worry, guys. But listen, this is so those same words, you know, yesh to achim as achim as achim. Is there such thing as a brother who kills brothers? If you reflect with a little different intonation, they're absolutely it's it's it's abject terror. It's so frightening to brothers who tried to kill a brother. And I can't kill you because there's no such thing as a brother who kills brothers, is there? Yes, there is. The brothers are thinking, "Yes, there is. There are such things as brothers who kill brothers. That's us." So, how can there be these words that you're trying to comfort them? How can these be words of comfort? These are words of abject terror to brothers who tried to kill a brother. So, I'll tell you what I heard them that they were forming sand as it must mean that on the surface he's trying to to comfort them. On the surface, he's really trying. On the surface, he is trying to offer words that will comfort. His desire is to show that he's okay with them. But, the same words also demonstrate what's going on in the inner part of who he is. In his subconscious, deep inside of himself, where the doubt and the feelings are still harboring resentment. I still harbor resentment for what you did to me. Guys, brothers don't kill brothers. He's trying to comfort. But, the same words Is there such thing as a brother who kills brothers? Externally, I'm trying to to to comfort. But, internally, I'm a resentful. And those That's why those words can mean both things. They can be words of comfort, and they can be words of of of expression, you know, of of of of abject terror to brothers who tried to kill a brother. Because that's what Joseph did. I'm trying externally, and my my external part of myself is trying to sound forgiving you. But internally there's another voice speaking under the words. Where I'm still harboring resentment. And maybe Joseph is still harboring resentment. Because the brothers never really asked for forgiveness. They never really made themselves vulnerable. And by the way, it's on this note that safer relation closes. The curtain closes exactly right here. This is the last relation in the book of Genesis. This is where the safer closes. The curtain goes down on that note of doubt. Interesting. And then the curtain opens one page later and the slavery begins. Interesting. The brothers who will be your slave. And there's the cycle. There seems to be a feeling of some unresolved tension in the family. And we have to go through the next episode to really bring the family back together. And the reality is the whole history of the Jewish nation is is about bringing the family back together. It's about the split of the 10 tribes, which by the way were the children of natural. Yes, it's children. And Yehuda, Benjamin and trying to reconcile the brother the hood of of Jewish nation. All Jewish history the function of bringing the Jewish people back together. What might have been changed had full forgiveness been achieved at this moment. Maybe Jewish history have gone different. I don't know. It's just uh it's a speculation. Pure speculation for me. If you'll allow me that speculation. But again, what I'm offering you today is is is not clear. I'm just offering you a a one approach. Many say this conversation demonstrates that the brothers asked for forgiveness and Joseph did forgive them. That's what seems to be on the surface. But I feel very strongly you analyze it and you look at it deeper. It's lacking that basic ingredient that one needs to evoke the forgiveness of another, the vulnerability. And so in that last Rashi, which is describing here says a desire to speak to their hearts is can be read in two ways. It could be read in a way of saying, "I can't hurt you because it'll be bad for me. The brothers don't kill brothers." Or they're read in a completely different way. Do brothers kill brothers? Well, the brothers who tried to kill a brother those aren't comforting words. Those aren't comforting words. Those are scary words. And maybe that really reflects the duality of the brothers themselves. And maybe the ambivalence the ambivalence of the brothers themselves is like I'm trying to forgive you, but something inside of me is pulling me back. It's a theory. But I think it's something to think about. Okay, everybody. You okay with that? Any questions? Okay. Thanks, Rabbi. You're welcome. Uh this is actually one of my favorite pieces. So, I hope you enjoyed it. This is one of after this one of my favorite you know, one of my favorite pieces. And because you didn't hear the brilliance of the Medrish how a Medrish can be speaking both to one's conscious voice and to one's subconscious voice at the same time. And that's why it's so fascinating. The Medrish is like a you know, like a like a like a piano that you hear the melody on the external melody at one time, but there are the chords behind it, which are a little bit darker, a little bit more sinister, a little bit together they're coming fusing into something. You know, you hear both the right hand and the left hand simultaneously in that Medrish. Jonathan if you should die of music it's like you hear both hands working together in that. And that's why I think Rashi and that's why Rashi selects it because you do hear both voices. And maybe that that that indicates you know, really the ambivalence and duality and ambiguity that is is reflective of of Joseph and his doctrine. I want to forgive you, but something is going to dissolve. Okay, everybody. Wishing you a wonderful week and um looking forward to continuing this session next week. Thank you, Rabbi Kraft. Okay. Peace, Rabbi Kraft. You, Rabbi. Thank you, Rabbi. Have a great week. You, too. Thank you, everyone. Have a wonderful week.