"Ein Od Milvado" The Secret Code To EMUNAH & BITACHON - MUSSAR Iggeret HaRAMBAN (21)

[Music] we uh are back here in Avent Florida continuing our Tuesday night sh Onan the the uh series bash has uh helped me quite a bit I think each verse each uh sentence the rambam ranan uhad uh says has uh so much significance in it and you look at some of the commentary that some of the other uh said about it uh you could uh pretty much do a whole series just on each verse but um will uh continue ating on uh the next part of this letter today's uh sh will be uh for for aavid dor Leana Sana um also for a esora for um Elish Mercedes and all of will have so the uh phone calls continue the uh emails continue There are many many people that are doing chva but uh something very good happened since the last time I saw you guys there was quite a few people motivated by the uh most recent sh we did on Sunday uh about and how each and every one of us can be it in essence having a having a G having a exposure to either by getting a uh huge that you would have never gotten when your intellect or seeing him himself but uh uh most likely for each and every single one of us just a uh sudden burst of energy to do sudden burst energy of of Simply doing what a said and one of the things that says is to help each other do CH you know it's not necessarily A Bad Thing to to obviously focus on yourself for the time being as you get yourself stronger and stronger but uh as theim explained to us uh that when a person does chuva simply from Fear then he worries about himself he worries about himself he focused on learning Torah he fights for every single minute anyone that spend some time learning T knows that the more you learn T the more the starts attacking you because to not learn T you have to you know every day you're learning at 12:00 all of a sudden your father calls you at 11:55 okay son come on you want to come with me to the store which one your favorite store your favorite store going to come all of a sudden he wants to take you to the store he never want to take you to the store but today wants to take you to the store okay fine okay so you go to the store so you come back okay I'll be back by 1 2:00 all right so you sit down 2 o'clock all right I'm going to learn all of a sudden your mom comes with a nice dish your favorite meal like your eyes are coming out of your head because you see this meal you want to eat it but the same token you want to learn what are you going to do eat and learn you can eat and learn so now you have another then finally you okay fine no okay I'll give up the for half hour eat the food it's really delicious I really like it you know I don't want to disrespect my mom she made me this food my wife made me this food I don't want to disrespect her I got to eat okay so you eat a half hour later if think okay 2:30 I'm gonna I'm going to learn now I'm going to do it I'm going to do it all of a sudden you have a phone call and you have to answer it why it's the call you've been waiting for since 9:00 in the morning okay so you sold you sold out to the yet again for another half hour finally 3:00 you're like okay for sure I'm going to do it now for sure I'm going to do it right now but all of a sudden the ti from the food you ate hits you like a bomb and all of a sudden you can't even open your eyes can't open your eyes you can't think straight I'm not sure what I'm doing H maybe it's a waste of time and that's it that's how unfortunately this exact thing happens to every single one of us at any hour of the day the is not always going to come to you in a form of an a he's not going to come to you only in a form of a uh some type of sin a girl a guy money all types of things sometimes the is going to come to you in your he's going to come and distract you to not learn T to not learn T why because he knows that every time you watch a sh you get stronger and you want to do more he knows that every time you open AAR every time you open every time you open your every time you do anything that has to do with tor all of a sudden you're not going to fall for the yet anymore so yet tries to do everything possible to get in your way which means that when you're doing Chua out of fear what's really Chua out of fear you get the realization in your head that you actually have to now start fighting for tah like a starving person fights for food he hasn't eaten in a few days he hasn't drank he hasn't nothing but he sees there's maybe an apple in the corner and doesn't belong to anyone and but he knows there's a couple of guys behind him that saw it also first one first first come first get that's it he fights for it you have to fight for you have to fight for a half hour here half hour there two hours here two hours there you got to it day and night now this applies both to men and women and the reason why even though men are obligated to learn day and night they have to learn a lot of different things in order to connect to women are also obligated to learn the basics so she knows how to be a Jew she knows what kind of clothes to wear she knows how to celebrate Shabbat honor Shabbat the holidays she doesn't show up for PES with the p because she didn't know that a is girls also have to learn Tora needless to say girls need to learn M Learn how to behave modesty is not just clothing there are many Arab women that walk around with a tent literally they walk around with a tent but the filth that comes out of their mouth you would think it came from some volcano so allthough the clothes are are very very modest the women themselves are not modest you see some of the curses they curse at or government officials or anyone that pretty much disagrees with their crazy behavior you see the filth that comes out of their mouth so a woman needs to know that modesty is not just clothing it's also how she behaves how she speaks is she one of these girls that likes to wink and she likes to flirt that's not modest at all she likes to get attention it's not modest at all point being abai that learning is for everyone especially when it comes to m m is ethics that even the go even the non-jews have to learn one of the main things you also going to learn is that gim doesn't mean a derogatory word like some Lefty liberals think go simply means Nations so sometimes people make make a comment oh it's not nice that you call non-jews go what do you want me to call them Pikachu what exactly do you want me to call them want me to say the name of every country go is Nations but people that are so ignorant don't even know what they don't know they just like to fight but when you want to fight at least fight for Tora at least fight for the sake of doing something for yourself but the zimon said a he says that if you do Chu from Fear you're going to learn T you're going to focus on yourself you're going to go to the uh you know col by yourself learn by yourself at night in the morning in the afternoon that's it you're going to come to the sh by yourself but if you're going to do CH from if you're G to do CH because you love which takes time to get to that level you can't just Skyrocket to level number two right away you have to start with fear and Elevate yourself TOA how do you get how do you you get to that point of doing chuva from loving hasem where a person simply understands that Hashem has other children not just him or her she's not hashem's only daughter he's not hashem's only son there are other children and because I love Hashem not because I love his children because I love hem because I love hem it makes me feel horrible that his other children are not coming home also his other children are not coming to the sh also is other children are not keeping Shabbat also so it bothers him it bothers us what do you do you start getting other people involved you start getting your friends to come to the shoe you start sending the the links to your different friends you have 500 contacts on your phone you probably don't even remember who these people are at least use those contacts for Tora send them the email send them a voice note send them some type of sh that we have why because you love Hashem and you hate it that his other children are not coming home everybody that loves hem or at least begins to love hem immediately begins to start doing K why because that's simply a outcome of your love of hem you start thinking about him not just you not just praying about your you're this you're that you're you me me me me you start thinking about Hashem is not here barely mikash destroyed where we are we don't even know right or left there are many Jews that consider themselves religious but do the most horrible irreligious things in the world and they don't even know there's anything wrong with it the point is we have a situation where we have to express our love of hem by getting hashem's other children to come back home now some people that get to this point they get motivated by some of the sh they want to start doing K they want to start sharing the lectures they want to donate for the sake of sponsoring a lecture or sponsoring CDs to help us spread the message to more and more places around the world I wish we had an advertising budget we could actually spend millions of dollars not hundreds of thousands and not even tens of thousands millions of dollars if possible every single month just to reach to every single Corner in the world because bem gave us the ability to reach sometimes you need money for it for advertising and different things we do things on a smaller basis still gets the message to different places but if somebody wants to do kiru at least he's going to use part of his money she's going to use part of our money so we can do other things to share the message why because she knows she's not comfortable going to our friends or family or colleagues and telling them Hey listen why don't you come to the Sho she's not comfortable to do that so she can still do other things how she could donate money and the people that love Hashem do this just today just today I got three people from India from India donated money two of them are not Jewish don't don't know they're trying to convert and one of them is Jewish meaning that even in India the non-jewish people love love sometimes more than Jewish people why because you have sometimes people watching this sh making all the greatest comments in the world they watch it live they watch it on Facebook they watch it on YouTube YouTube they watch it on WhatsApp they watch all the sh donation for the year $32 for a movie you pay more than that these days but you have go that live in India they don't make millions of dollars woman send me a weak salary $100 $180 they don't make that much money over there but what for her it's more important to get am back to Aba in sh then for her to have a little extra money that's love of that's love of hasem when people love hem they do things that are not necessarily a direct benefit she's not buying herself an extra lavish dinner or a nicer watch or a nicer dress or a nicer something what is she doing she's taking money she's slaved over to what to have come back to that's love of sometimes people have love of it happens once in a while but sometimes people Express their love in a different way they want to get their family members and their friends to do chuva but their family members and friends don't want to do Chua you tell them listen you have to work on your character traits you have to keep Shabbat you have to keep this you have to keep that and the guy says Ah don't talk to me about this stuff I'm not even really interested yeah but don't you care about the purpose of life nah purpose purpose I'm just going to the basketball game the guy's completely just a wall so on this says don't rebuke a scuffer someone that makes fun of the Torah don't even bother with him he makes fun of the Tor move on why because the guy that likes to make fun of the Torah the girl that likes to make fun of the Torah you tell him something what is what is says says if you bring him some type of proof that he's wrong instead of him doing chuba instead of her doing chuba and actually fixing herself or him fixing himself what's he going to do he's going to hate you he's going to hate everything about you he's going to hate everything that you're telling him even more than he did before so what is it really doing nothing sometimes there are certain people you just simply have to avoid because they're are easier customers there is a huge Simone a huge thirst for Tora in the world the Jews the non-jews the people that think they are but they're really not the think people that don't know they are but they really are Jews there's so much there so many easy customers in the world all they need to do is just find out the truth so don't chase the people that hate the Torah don't chase people that are outright K they're easier customers even if that customer is not your brother it's not your cousin it's not your father or your mother you don't have a direct benefit but you have an indirect benefit why you made ABA happy you made a happy why because you helped return one of his kids or at least you showed a desire to help him so that's why schl continues this verse and he says rebuke the wise man and he'll love you who's the wise man wise man is someone that likes to he just doesn't know much he doesn't like he doesn't he just doesn't know that much but he likes to you give him a nice listen I have a for you I have a new I have a new you s to go oh thanks for thinking about me man I appreciate that I'll watch it when I get a chance thank you even if sometimes he doesn't end up watching it he's appreciative of he likes it go for him go for her someone hates it you turn seek a new exit reroute this is very important for us to know because a he doesn't want you to waste your time there's not that much time left the reality is that we have to spend a lot of time learning to doing working on ourselves if we spent all of our energy chasing a bunch of people that don't want to do chv we're wasting all of our energy let's go chase a people that actually want to do it that's why anytime someone tells me at least a few times a week people send me a 911 message oh please my daughter is this my son is this my husband is this my wife is this my cousin my friend my this they're off the D they hate this can you help them somebody's doing something crazy and apparently the family and the friends have had it and they want to do something about it so they call me 911 oh can you do something about it yes I can I could send you a link or I could send him or her a link to watch my personal Story the movie of my personal story and let him watch it let her watch it after they watch it if they have questions then call me no no why why why can't you just call them now no right now will be a waste of time and the reason why is because you have to establish two points with every single candidate that whether they're going to be a customer or not Point number one are they a fool or are they wise meaning are they someone that's going to make fun of the Torah they don't want to hear anything doesn't matter what you say you could bring a mosu himself to tell them that Tora is they won't listen if they're that I'm not going to waste my time I got thousands of people all over the world that are looking for answers I'm going to go after somebody that doesn't want answers waste of time if they're wise they appreciate they're interested in in something new they've never heard they're interested in expanding their mind their n their spirituality okay so that's the first thing how do I establish that point by seeing if they actually watch the movie if they don't watch the movie because they say it's too long or it's too short or it's too this or the music's too loud or the voice is not so nice or I don't like his beard I don't like his voice they have all these excuses why didn't watch it I don't have time I don't have time either you don't have time I don't have time first you have to establish the point of whether these people are interested in expanding their Horizon if they are they'll watch the movie if they watch the movie for sure they'll have questions then we get to Point number two point number two is where whether they connect to the movie The Story and the speaker or not if they connect then let's talk why because that means I'm the vessel that sent you to help you do CH and answer your questions if they don't connect they hate me they're one of these that makes nasty comments without even seeing the video or they uh they just decide to make fun or anything like that they just don't like my voice whatever the case is no problem I'm not the vessel so why should I waste my time why should you waste your time time point is you have to establish certain points so you don't waste your time because time is very valuable you have to spend that time learning and you have to spend that time helping other people do Chua not chasing a bunch of dead people and that's why says to the prophet says to the prophet in chapter 18 verse number 32 for I do not desire the death of the one who should die the word of the of of the Lord hasem Elohim turn yourselves back and live what does it mean someone I'm not interested in someone I'm not interested to kill somebody that's already dying that's already dead say that someone that's a sinner someone that's a rash someone that's wicked that's not keeping Shabbat that's not keeping that's not keeping kosher that's not keeping like they're supposed to in the eyes of hem they're spiritually dead already hem says I'm not interested in him continuing to be dead I'm not killing him further in the next World return do chuba and you live not only in the next world but here too if a person wants to live person wants the truth you invite him to the shoe but if he wants to play with his phone for two hours what why bother coming there's plenty of other ways to do to make money there's plenty of other ways to spend your hour or two hours of your life why bother this is a message from sometimes you're going to see certain people that are simply uninterested uninterested you cannot spend your time on them you have to spend time on people that are interested in living this Rai is the introduction for what the ramban says next the ramban over the last several months has taught us quite a bit he taught us how to deal with anger he taught us what happens the moment you die in the grave he taught us how you should run away from anger and run away from arrogance he taught us a lot of different things that if anyone just delves into any one of the shim and watches it several times and learns it like they learn a book you'll get a lot out of it but next the ran writes how a person should behave not just how he should behave when he walks around and he's among other people but also how he should behave when he's talking to so the ran writes the ran writes let your head be bowed cast your eyes down downward and your heart heavenward in essence the ramban is telling you that when you walk around the way you look the way you behave represents what you feel in your heart if you walk around tall that symbolizes arrogance ego you walk around just like regular but not standing up tall you're relatively humble you walk around like you have some type of Hunchback but you don't then you're probably a show off or you're stupid there's something wrong with you something wrong with you why why you playing why you pretending to have a hunchback you don't need to walk around like this if you don't have a hunchback you have old man yeah 90 years old that's that's the unfortunately what happened to your body over the last 90 years no problem that's that's what you do but some people pretend sometimes you go to religious communities and you see a lot of uh different people that uh pretend in and some people they're not pretending you'll see same thing in non-religious point is is that the way you look is what's inside I had a big M debate a uh for for sh not a argument with a few about some of the people that are speakers in the world today and uh now these people that I spoke to are serious all day all night they learn T and I tell them some of the things that they say if they don't speak English I explain to them if they do I send it to them and some of the things that people say are outright against the Tora like saying that there's no G saying there's no punishment Hashem loves everyone all of this Hocus Pocus stuff it's not in the Torah there's no source for it anywhere I tell them this is what people say today especially English speaking world every other day someone sends me a video of some other Rabbi that says that there's no punishment or one guy said just I think it was yesterday someone sent it to me he says in this generation there's not a single Jew that's going to be punished for a sin meaning half the Torah was canceled for this special generation why according to him he says that uh no Hashem gave us the so why is he punishing us why he didn't give us the sin at the time of M he didn't give us the sin at time of just this this generation has sins no other generation before has sins he says no this generation hasem gave us sins so we sinned so what is he going to punish us for it another one of the genius ideas of man is fredman is he's the one that said it now I had a m what's the m bottom line is he a rash or a fool is he a rash or a fool now on one hand you can say the guy is aash that's my argument why all day all night he changes the Torah all day all night he changes the Torah there's no Gom there's no this there's no that there's no nothing everyone's going to ganed well he ask a bunch of people oh so why do we go to Gom why do we go go to hell so people says why he says to go see all your friends that's what he says in the video and everybody starts H the hold sh the whole thing everybody's laughing about punishment it's so great I can't wait to go and then you start seeing a bunch of people in the background say oh you know what I don't really know anyone's going to to yeah it's going to be good in G this is sh this is this is what they call sh today so the guy is manipulating the to the extent of making fun of it this is a cuz all of those people now have no desire whatsoever to change but a couple of says not possible it's not possible he's that much of a so what do you mean it's not possible the guy saying what he's say goes no no if he knows what he's talking about and he changes it meaning if he knows if he knows that the says in that there G and it never ends and are going to be there even after Masia and says the details of what's going to happen to them and all of the throughout all of history that talked about that issue spoke exactly the same language if he read the books if he read the gar even once if he went through the sh if he did anything he went to a to a k and actually learned for a few years read some books other than his cartoons and he still changes it in order to apply to people in order to appeal to people then he's a rash so I said okay that's what he does said no POS they said it's not possible so what do you mean it's not possible he say there's no way someone knows and is changing it he's simply an idiot that's what they say him and anyone like him he's simply somebody who doesn't know anything and he just says whatever feels good he sees people are happy when he says that no one goes to G he makes another shoe about it he said he sees that people that could do whatever they want he says more people come to the show he makes another sheld about it why that's what sells that's what sells and that's what they say that's the m is are they or are they just idiots now there is a to prove that otherwise has to be why because of what the ramban here says which is a source that comes from the page 105b but also talks about the ramban also writes about it which is in essence what you do how you stand how you behave represents what you have inside you if you say that you don't believe there's punishment you don't you think it's all a joke that's what you actually believe inside that's what you actually think you're manipulating the Torah and the ramb writes that this classifies a person as a person that in essence is a in the oral Torah a heretic in the oral Torah someone that disagrees with needless to say someone that makes fun of the has no share of the world to come that's even if he's not a someone that makes fun of anyone that says that there is a g which everyone knows that there are there are people that say that I'm not the only one when you make fun of it you make a joke out of it now you have a serious problem now the ramban here says that you have to behave a certain way you have to act a certain way regardless of what you want or what you don't want you have to represent yourself as a certain way because of you have to honor now page 105 has a debate where R and R Shimon R Shimon the son of rebi not the he wasn't alive at the time I have to say it these days unfortunately now both of them started a discussion started a discussion about how a person should look and what he should do when he's praying so they said you should have your eyes someone that's praying should direct his eyes downwards to look at the not necessarily the floor but the ground as it says as it says in the uh T says that his eyes and his uh are always going to be on so one of them says you have to look down the other one says no no no I think you have to look up look at the heavens why look at the heavens because it says a different verse it says a uh that uh let us lift our hearts with our hands in God in heaven meaning that since the the mdash was destroyed the left so one of them believes that the is still here the other one believes left so you should look up to the sky comes R is the son of r r is one of the T that was one of the main of so the son of was a huge he says you're both right you're both right how you both right my father says I that the one who prays must direct his eyes downwards and his heart upwards meaning look down when you're walking look down when you're praying look down get used to having a certain composure a certain look about where you're looking down to see that there's the ground because this connects to because that's where you're eventually going to go it's it's also going to Humble you it's also going to remind you not to sin and so on but your heart should be in heaven meaning think about is right here think about how much you love hem think about how much you fear hem that's what you're supposed to do now interestingly the same starts talking about a story of of how they are and then as they're talking it continues where it says they were all in the BET mid and reos walks into the BET mid and everyone catches the seats they're all sitting on the floor they don't have fancy chairs like you guys so now they're all sitting on the floor is was huge was fat so he took a little while to get to his seat so the uh gabai of of RAB kados his name was abdan abdan says to him who is this that's stepping over the heads of the Holy people meaning who do you think you are that you're walking around in between to pick your spot who do you think you are you have no right to walk around and walk over all of these sikim here sit he rebukes them now knew his his place in the world why he knew that is if you're the son of a sage if you're yourself you're the son of a sage you have the permission to do this to go pick the right spot for you and so on and so forth you have the permission to do this and he says I'm the I'm the son of RI I'm here to learn from rebi in his humility he says I'm not here not I'm not telling you such a big deal because who my father is I'm here to come learn from rabi I'm here to learn Torah so abdan was woke up on the wrong side that day he says to him wait you think that you're in a level to learn from rebi there's a bunch of people there she's kind of embarrassing him a little bit you think that you're in a level to learn from reos so says wasu fit to learn from himself so he says to him are you m so he says back is rabie God at that moment as they're arguing reos sees this doesn't say anything but then he sends abdan to go check on a certain woman that came she was uh coming to uh see if she could be a do a and uh but then uh tells him go she he doesn't have to check he doesn't have to check her because the is my father says that someone of our age a minor doesn't have to check so re says you're right abani come back don't go abani comes back starts walking so says wait who are you that you think who do you think you are that you're walking among all on top of all of these people and rados says you're right sit down now you see that some of this cat and mouse game sometimes happened uh you know 2,000 years ago but there is a lot of things that you can learn from it more most importantly you should learn that abani was wrong there's a way to do certain things there's a way to rebuke there's a way to talk talk to people and when you insult a is not happy with you even if you mean well unless that is a unless that is and therefore he's not anymore so thear continues and says that because abdan was did what he did he got punished in sh he got both of his sons drowned to death and their wives left them cancel the uh the marriage but then says hasem blessed is the merciful one that shamed abdan in this world and not in the world to come what does that prove to us here number one don't mess with number two there's a g why if two kids died and the guy gotat which is incurable disease and the wives left them and it caused public embarrassment and everyone knows that you got punished for this everyone saw it and one of the greatest sadim of the generation says it happened here and not there what does that mean that means that here the punishment you got here is not as bad all of that happening two kids dying and theat and this imagine cancer AIDS and all of that combined and kids dying and on top of it public embarrassment that's not as bad as a moment of embarrassment in sham so we see here in a small tiny paragraph in thear you could literally learn a world of knowledge but we first started with how do we behave as far as when it comes to praying what do we do how do we do it and we learn from these that took punishment took reward took everything very very seriously they said that when you pray to make sure you think about hem not about your job make sure you think about what his will is not just about what you want don't come to hasem like he's the Social Security office or his welfare come to simply talking to him pleading with him now the author of uh this specific commentary and the ramban writes something very interesting his name is RAB and he says when the prayer experience truly becomes an encounter with God the person finds himself G gripped with emotions that are conflicting on one hand the Mortal who stands before the King of Kings is overwhelmed by fear and as he confronts the unut Majesty of his creator he has no choice but to recoil in trepidation simultaneously however a different feeling begins to swell in his heart as the worshipper Inuits the almost tangible closeness to his heavenly father he is overcome by a sense of boundless love his heart leaps for Joy thrilled at the opportunity to communicate directly and personally with the Eternal Master of the Universe to pray effectively the worshipper must strike a delicate balance between these two opposing emotions and moods blending the two in a state of mental Harmony on one hand person that prays to you come to your your your and first emotion should be you're scared to death why is here you're not focusing on what you're going to do after you're not focusing on how much money you're gon to make today you're not going to focusing on whether the check cleared or what bills are do or what your wife said or what your husband didn't say or where your kids you're not thinking about any of that why you're thinking is here if you don't believe is here why are you praying who are you praying to sometimes you see people come to messet play with the phone the whole time or better yet they talk to each other why they don't believe is there if you believe that koshu is there the King of Kings is there the one that gives you life the one that gives you air in your lungs the one that gives you food the one that gives you a brain to work the one that makes the protein fold in a precise way in your body or else you die that one is here immediately you'll being scared if you don't think that you're not scared that means you don't believe hasm is here why are you praying needless to say why do you come to sh to socialize there are much better places to socialize people come to to sh and they don't shut up instead of talking to Hashem they talk to everybody else why come what's the point that means that they don't understand that is here this is why I've said it in before what have said there's no point for women to come to there's no point number one they don't have an obligation to pray three times a day number two they don't have an obligation to pray at the specific time number three even if you want to pray the rest of the women usually don't they want to socialize so you can't pray even if you want what's the point of going to Sho many times women you know they're excited to go to for or any the high holidays or sometimes for Shabbat Shalom his own besset right next to his house did not even have a women's section no women's section even if you want to come you can't come no women's section why there's no point why CU even if you want to pray the other 15 20 30 4 women they don't want to pray so they're going to ruin your pray and on top of it because they don't shut up they'll ruin the guy's prayer also because women love to talk the problem that we're reason why I'm mentioning it again is because now many guys became so feminine they talk more than the women the women keep saying sh sh sh and the guys say sh sh and you can't hear even the Kazan why because no one wants to shut up why you coming to sh if a is not here why are you here if he's here how can you allow yourself to spit in his face by talking in his little bit mikdash how do you allow yourself to do that this is why having your heart on a means that you understand first and foremost Hashem is here that means if I'm coming to betet to pray I'm I'm here to pray and leave not socialize not friend nothing I'm here to pray leave if I come to I'm coming here to learn then leave I'm not socializing I'm not text messaging I'm not looking at the windows and the ceilings and what kind of chandelier is this is this the one that's really four five six S8 $9,000 or is it really like the one offbrand from the flea market for $400 is the light too light or is it too dark or is it too this no I'm coming here to learn and leaving why who's here says one person learns hem is learning with him needless to say if 10 20 30 40 50 100 people if you come to sh just to socialize with each other don't come you're bringing punishment on yourself not a reward this is extremely important for people to know because to go all the way here all the way to your betet wherever it is simply to socialize because does not like it you don't get a reward for socializing and what's happening your friends during the sh I promise you there's no reward for eating the cupcakes either the reward is for learning tah we give you the cupcakes to entice you but you don't get a reward for the cupcake especially if you forgot to do the point is if you're going to come to focus on the shoe get your food get your phone get everything that's a distraction away this is what said know that hasem is the king of kings but he also said that this King of Kings is your father and anyone that has a close relationship with their father knows that sometimes it's hard to get your father why he's busy trying to make money so you could eat he's busy trying to deal with some of the other stuff in the house it's hard to get sometimes a one-on-one with your father but when you get a one-on-one with your father it's just you and him it's like ah it's so even it's five minutes wow ABA yeah you know no you don't have to say anything it's great it's amazing why it's your daddy it's ABA you have the King of Kings happens to be your father also you're praying to him you're praying to him him automatically it should warm your heart up now sometimes people say that they're waiting for a certain salvation to happen but it's not happening so I tell them pray say I pray say pray more how much more as much as it takes because there's a guarantee in the world if you pray something will happen but if you really pray if you really pray something will happen if you don't really pray nothing will happen which is actually something if you pray sees what is happening to you as a result of this prayer are you getting closer to him as a result of this prayer are you making promises and delivering on those promises that you'll become better in order for him to fulfill this prayer what does this prayer really mean to you are you using a as an ATM machine or is he the King of Kings but also happens to be your father in Heaven how are you treating Hashem what kind of relationship are you developing through this prayer because if you pray with your full heart day and night and you don't stop and you don't give up and you don't mess around and you don't play with your phone in the middle of prayer and you don't go to school just to CH chitchat and you don't just focus on the uh on the cupcakes you simply come to pray to something will happen what is that either Hashem is going to say yes or no either your prayer will be answered or he simply going to say no I don't want to give this to you now once a Jew that I know his uh kid was sick but not the kind of sick oh they have a cold the couple of days goes away sick like you hear a little kid four five years old agonizing pain one of the worst possible things you could ever hear as a parent is your kid in pain you simply want to take all of it times a thousand on yourself just so they don't cry anymore now the kid was in pain the mom has no nothing to do she's just crying to there's nothing to do the kid's crying the mom's crying everybody's crying why this kid is in massive Fame so this Jew says okay I have to do something about it okay medicine useless doctors useless what can I possibly do oh my father is not only the King of Kings but also is he's the Healer of All Flesh he's the Miracle Worker I have to pray to Hashem now there's a couple of different types of prayers one type of prayer you could pray in your own words another type of prayer outside of the three prayers that we do aside from praying in your own words you could do what said different said you could read but there's also unique prayers that some of the the put together now this is book by one of the from the previous generation of Shari and he was a enormous Miracle Worker and this little purple book has all types of and different types of unique prayers that you can say for any different reason whether it's for sucess finding a husband finding a wife Health all types of different things you're giving birth you have something in your eye you lost something all types of interesting prayers so he took the book he looked for it he never saw it before it was recently recommended and uh he started looking oh found a prayer for health now of course you know what I say when you want to do what happens all the phone calls begin all the problems begin everything starts breaking apart shut off everything start praying to now I don't know how prayers work for some people or others I don't know how yours work sometimes I feel like my prayer hit the ceiling and then come back once in a while they work too though but he said he decided to cry to he looked at what said and I happened to have the book and he simply read what he said but it wasn't enough he didn't feel like he did enough he didn't feel like he did enough he felt like he wants to do more so in the prayer he just simply started talking to and said you know you're also this kid's father too which means this kid belongs to you too why should this kid be sick why should this kid continue to scream what benefit is it why don't we let it grow up be strong be healthy serve you better simply poured his heart out to for a few minutes without even realize what's happening and he says that right before he got to the last line his wife says oh everything stopped finished the prayer what do you mean this what he says what do you mean everything stopped what do you mean everything stopped it stopped she's not sick anymore what do you mean it's stop and sick I don't know whatever you did it worked sometimes prayer works like that which means what all of that pain all of that suffering that that little kid was going through with simply a saying to this guy I want you to pray that's it you don't pray so I'm G make you pray I'm going to give you something you're going to be forced to pray because nothing else is going to work the medicine's not going to work the uh doctor's not going to work nothing's going to work I'm going put you in a situation where you're forced to pray but not just say please Hashem thank you the kind of prayer where you simply just start crying to say please please please please not for me for you you have another kid in the world that's going to do something good please you don't have many good kids in the world you don't have many good anything in the world this is one of the ones that can be good I promise he'll be good I promise you'll be good I promise I'll be good and you start doing things whatever you want I'm going to do and you start thinking what could I do oh you learn you don't learn start learning you don't do K you start doing K you don't have you take money out of your pocket during the prayer take money out your pocket put in a stocka box do something about it why because that's what a sometimes he wants he wants us to rip our hearts apart and let them in now one of the from the world of was the he was the tal of the talid of the B now the kit kit Magid has stories about him that are truly unbelievable that someone like this walked Among Us just a couple hundred years ago now his story does doesn't start with him but rather starts with his parents his father his name was and he was an older man older Jew that was a sadik serious sadik learned Torah did meet vot didn't ask anybody for anything wasn't relying on the public to fund his life or anything was very serious about his a but he never had a kid and he already got older usually as you get older whether you're male or female kids become less and less likely in your life now one day after he already got to the point where he was retired wasn't working as much he uh not the same type of retirement like people have today retired meaning they worked a little less not nine days a week work a little less just to make ends meat but as things happen as a who made it happen they ran out of money they literally had no money whatsoever for shabat now today when you say people tell me yeah listen I'm broke that means they have 500 to $1,000 in the bank one guy told me listen Rabbi can you give me some staka I usually people don't ask me usually it's the opposite but it happens to be that that's my fortune in the world is to give money we try but usually it's supposed to be gives you know not confused right okay anyway one guy tells me RAB can you give me some I don't ask somebody says give me staka okay give me staka so you give somebody gives you a hand you have to give them something if you're generous with people is going to be generous with you so I sent him a couple of dollars and uh maybe a week two weeks later yeah I think a week later comes back to me goes Rabbi can I have some more takaka I spent all the money I had buying a few hundred worth of books yesterday so can you give me some more money so I'm thinking to myself you told me last week you were broke but in reality you're a liar you had $500 or $1,000 but you wanted to spend it on buying books but you figured I'm going to pay for your living because it's to so I'm supposed to fund it too that's what it means in America someone says I'm broke that means $500 to $1,000 they have in the bank R shap when he was broke that really meant Zero that really meant there's nothing there's no sugar there's no flour there's no bread there's no water nothing now him and his wife were very very honorable people and they said listen under no condition are we going to ask anybody for anything it's better off we fast all of Shabbat then ask people for money he went toet he used to go toet really early and then by the time he came back he says he saw already the lights of Shabbat from his house from the streets and he was happy to go home but knowing that there's nothing to to do once he gets home there's no like K on nothing as he opens the door he sees thean shabat the table of Shabbat is full it's like a feast full of food he knows his wife is not going to violate their agreement and go start asking people for money so he doesn't question her at all he simply goes and starts doing the K he does the kou after he finished the K the wine the bread this they start eating and the wife says my dear husband just to make sure you know do you remember that jacket that very fancy jacket that you lost they used to have silver buttons he said yeah I found it a miracle happened I found the jacket I took the buttons I sold the buttons in the market and that's how we bought Shabbat the bmov came to the town to go see him and he told him this story and the B was so happy he says you know what you did how you honored chabbat how you honored the Tor how you honored what you did the Angels in sham started dancing because of what you did so I want to bless you whatever you want Shai says whatever I want I want a son I want a son he's older already retirement age that doesn't mean anything says you'll have a son next year a year later is born mikit is born now since he was born in when his parents were already older his body was very very weak so weak that he would spend most of his days cover covered with blankets because of the pain and Agony that he was in he would lie down most of the day covered in blankets all the whole day because of the pain that he was in but when it came time to pray he would get up like a bull like a lion walk into theet with a seph t holding a seph t and with a loud voice like a lion roaring in his praying with such excitement with such passion and trepidation for that's how he prayed now he was glued to the tah from childhood at the age of seven he already knew several tractates in thear by heart something that today if you could find somebody in their 20s to do it it's already a big deal he gifted but also had a huge amount of one time someone came to ra and said to him that uh he has a friend that hasn't uh him and his wife haven't had any kids he wants to bring him there he brought him inside now this guy that he brought was very poor didn't have anything but he wanted a kid you know your parents cried about you guys for a while before you got hit to this world even though sometimes kids never cry about their own parents now he wanted a kid he cried for a kid but the kid wasn't coming so his friend told him why don't you go to the sadik you already helped thousands of people that didn't have kids go to him so okay I'll go sadik so he came here this poor guy came there with a lot of like excitement why cuz the sadik is going to solve my problems sadik's gonna solve my problems that's a problem why that's possible what you think if the sadik is gonna solve your problems and you think you're mistaken him and hem that's a problem so what does a sadik do he makes you realize there's nothing else but God so when he came to them and he says we have any kid maybe we could get a blessing that we have a kid soes he says to him okay no problem I just need 52 gold coins the guy's face dropped to the floor go what 52 gold coins the rich people have that I don't have 52 gold coins goes I'm sorry I cannot help you without 52 gold coins you give 52 gold coins you have a son the poor guy traveled this whole journey all the way there there's no bus in those days there's no nothing traveled weeks to get there to find out what only rich people can deal with this RAB so poor guy raises his hands to shamim and talks says to his wife this Rabbi is not going to help us only hem can help us mik says to him ah you're gonna have a son this year and he had a son that year why I needed you to understand the point what's the point there's nothing else but if you understand that and have in that they can help direct you in the right direction to connect to him the prayer will work the will work but if you pray to the tadik you pray to the person and you think the person can help you can make it not work why you're mistaken a with this person some people tell me yeah we go to the grave of this such and such sadik we go to this one and that one and we pray to the sadik to help us I said I'm sorry that's idolatry no no what is idolatry there's thousands of people go to this gravite every day I said okay if they're all doing what you're doing they're all Idol worshippers you're not allowed to pray to sikim you pray to hem in the Merit of the sadik you pray to hem in the Merit of this why should this sadik help you by talking to hem on your behalf if you will because when you pray to ashem on behalf of this sadik you're in essence also making a deal with this sadik you came to visit his grave and honored him you're going to take one of hisim and learn them you're G to givea in his name you're going to do something that he's going to benefit out of and therefore he's also going to pray for you too you never pray for the person doesn't matter who he was you're not even allowed to pray to mosenu needless to say to anyone that died in the last 20 30 years but unfortunately many people do not know this specific of this Al they go to grave sites they go to different places they pray to people thinking that their salvation will come and daa things get worse why you just committed idol worship no different than the Chinese in China praying to some statue no difference than the Hindus in India praying to some cow no different than two and a half billion Christians that pray to some guy with a long hair do no different than anyone else that's an idol worshipper that's what people are doing why they forgot a from there's nothing else but God not the sadik not the rabbi not your mother or your father not your sister and not even you nothing else in the world but a if a person understands that and applies that to his head and literally uses that as a mantra in his head nothing in the world can hurt him there was a group of guys in Israel years ago that came to a famous meal yite and told there's a there's a witch some guy uses Black Magic that is actually able to do it the Rabbi says he can't do anything because no for the he showed us all types of things goes that's St it's nothing he can't do nothing because no Rabbi he could impz you even says he can't do nothing says Rabbi well bring him here goes bring him bring him here so the MF came over there he's trying to uh do a uh public uh thing now there's people watching there's a bunch of people there if he beats this big meal this yite meal this is going to be a big deal why all of these people going to turn into to customers all of the rabbis tell me we going to turn into his customers now if he could beat the rabbi in public that's like uh advertising for free so he comes over there and he starts doing his nonsense and the rabbi just sits there like this nothing affecting him he's trying to hypnotize him nothing tries again nothing tries this again nothing nothing's working to the point where the guy is sweating bullets and just say stop it already everybody's looking at this switch guy was stop what are you talking about you stop it tells the rabbi stop it already goes what what am I doing what what do you want go stop thinking what are you thinking about he goes huh all I'm doing is I'm thinking all I'm thinking about is there's nothing but nothing else but AEM as long as I think that you and a million like you cannot touch me this is something every single one of you can do there's nothing else but AEM there's nothing else but him nothing if you think like this during your prayer when you say hashem's name during a time you're crying to Hashem because you didn't study for the test but you really want to pass or they're going to get you to stay back and going to be in first grade but you're 15 years old you're lonely you want to find a shid but all the girls think that you're a troll you're you're you're lonely you're a guy you're you want to find a girl but all the girls they don't want you you're lonely you're a girl but all the guys think that you're maybe from a different planet no one wants to look at you you want to find something find First say you just keep saying it in your mind over and over again you could say it out loud you could say it in your mind simply say it all day as often as you possibly can especially when you're praying to Hashem especially when you're dealing with stress and you have problems get yourself to the point where you truly believe that there's nothing else but him you have a problem that's from him there's nothing else but him so he's the one that give you a problem that means that he's the one that can give you a solution he's trying to give you some type of attention here to get your attention understand there's nothing else but him so this is from him the Holocaust from him the pgs from him the lottery from him the loss from him the win from him your wife from him your father from him you from him everything is from him understand there's nothing else but him and you'll get anything you want in the world nothing will hurt you this is a easy thing to do but very difficult to practice if you don't work on it every single day because this is one of those things that will help your Amun but it's one of those muscles that has to be worked on every single day you know I used to work out when I was a kid I wasn't always this fat I used to be a bodybuilder now it's okay you guys are going to get fat when you get older too don't worry uh now not wishing you bad it's just a reality you get married you get fat so the she gives birth she gets skinny again you continue expending now because the food's good but anyway what ends up happening is when you work out at one point I was able to lift 85 lbs those enormous muscles squatting it's very muscular and I got to a point I said even if I stopped for a month or two what could possibly happen Okay so I'll lift 500 lb instead of 8800 still muscular still good you look a certain way but guess what once you stop for a week to come back a week later it's harder you stop for two weeks it's even harder you stop for a month you almost don't want to go back you stopped for a year it's almost like you never went to the gym it's almost like you never worked out ever and to get started it's almost like you're starting from scratch even more so when it comes to if you say every single day at the time of need when you finally need it one day because you're short on money you're lonely you're angry you're miserable whatever emotional negativity you're experiencing whatever Financial negativity you're experiencing but you understand that there's nothing else but AEM if you do that every day at the time you need it you'll know how to use it and it'll work but if you only use it once in a blue moon that muscle is going to be so immature so underworked who knows who knows if it's going to work now the same RAB is mikos says that the reason why you got two eyes is to teach you a lesson I mean technically you can see with one eye you could see with one eye you could operate your life with one eye but with one eye you have no ability to see depth and perspective you have no ability to see where you stand in comparison to everything else in a right way and you have no ability to see the details of certain things because you'll look with one eye at the world and you'll simply look into the cosmos you look into everything and everything will just seem either too big or too small you won't have the ability to really understand where you stand hence the reason of why you get a second eye because the second eye is going to help you understand the truth of your surroundings now the C Magid says Hashem gave you two eyes not just for that but also to one look at the ground one look at Heaven just like the gar says have your heart in heaven while your eyes on the ground hence the reason why you have two eyes look at the heaven meaning your heart should be in heaven when you pray to a but remember you're nothing remember that you're in this world remember that in order to connect to there are certain requirements comments on this in a little bit of a different way he says in his commentary on he says that when a person prays he must visualize himself as standing before God's Celestial Throne he has to visualize himself mamash next to the throne of Glory this is impossible as long as the person is weighed down by mundane Affairs such as Financial worries business problems marriage issues and the like therefore before praying a person must First Look downwards and eliminate all of their Earthly concerns just like our early generation Our sages said if you wish to concentrate on your prayer you want to have kavana the first thing you must do is strip your soul of your body only then can your heart be released to be aligned heavenward this is if you delve into it the exact opposite of what's being taught in most places and in most shim there are many shim that people like today from all types of uh motivational speaker type speakers which they tell you come to hasem with your problems what do you have money problems come to hm with your problems go look at your account I'm missing $500,000 go to Hem Hem I need 500,000 go to hem with certain things go go go go go says the exact opposite come to hasem empty nothing all your problems forget about them yeah but I have problems okay those problems leave them at the door your financial worries your job your wife your kids your everything pray to Hashem and talk to him forget about all those issues why because as long as you're thinking about those problems you're not going to allow AEM in you're not going to allow yourself to connect to because you're too connected to the problem you're too connected to the reality of your life you're still stuck in this world you have to get up there you have to get to the throne of Glory you have to get your n to be elevated how's your n going to be elevated if you're still over here thinking about the flat tire you got this morning and how you going to get to the appointment on time you have to forget the flat forget the financial problems forget the stock market forget the real estate market forget the FED rates forget the school stuff forget everything talk to a and focus on the words focus on the fact that you're in front of hem if you're in front of Hashem and you understand he's going to see that he's going to see oh there's nothing else but me no problem everything in your life I'll take care of it why because you realize the whole point of life there's nothing else but me all of those problems that I gave you the financial worries the the husband issues the wife issues the school issues all of those issues was simply to get your attention so you understand there's nothing else but me now that you understand there's nothing else but me there's no point for the problems it's like the game Hide and Seek as soon as you see where the guy is the game's over as soon as you understand that your problems are the game's over there's no point for the problems so if you come to Hashem and say Hashem problems that's all back there I'm just here with you it's just you and me Hashem because there's nothing else but you Hashem says oh so what's the point of these problems just eliminate them there's no point for these Financial because I did the financial problem to get your attention to you pray to me I made the check balce from the customer so you pray to me so that the customer is not going to dodge you with no money I made your wife say something really nasty to you because there's no one you can talk about other than me all of those problems you have at 9:00 in the morning is me now that you understand there's nothing else but me and I'm The Only Solution there's no point for the problems there's no point game's over got you I see it you I see it's you this could literally turn every single prayer that you succeed to do this into a personal meeting at the beta mikdash with just you and him we succeed because if we do life becomes ganeden life simply becomes ganeden because you understand where the problems are coming from and why you understand where the solution is and where it it only be you understand the purpose to life your prayer becomes meaningful talking in sh playing with your phone during a sh doing everything else becomes something that's completely impossible to you why how could I risk my meeting with a inside the mikash at the Throne of Glory how could I do that I have a meeting with hm you think I'm going to waste it talking to you you think I'm going to waste playing with my phone doing another like on Facebook you actually think I'm going to waste my time talking to you instead of talking to is the easiest and only way you can focus understanding that it's AEM as long as we're not focused that hasem is here in the sh during the sh in the sh during the time that you're actually praying in your house when you're trying to learn in the car when you're listening to some sh in school at work you understand that Hashem is everywhere you're going to behave differently L you're going to do things differently you're going to manage your life differently but as we said in the beginning your behavior is also represented by the way that you look the way that you present yourself the way you walk the way you stand now a person's mannerisms to a certain extent determine more deeply hidden emotions and thoughts page 31a teaches that it's prohibited to walk even four cubits with an upright posture less than four steps couple of steps not allowed to walk around like this why they use a verse in the tanak by Isaiah chapter 6 verse3 the entire world is filled with God's glory then when you walk with an ight posture it represents arrogance it represents like you think you're running the world the prophet says the whole world is by the whole world is filled with hasem how are you taking up so much space now the ramb in says some interesting things I'm going to read you a few to give you uh some insights on how a guy is supposed to look many times we talk about how women are supposed to look but now we have to learn about how a guy is supposed to look because we see in sh that when Abu arrives after his wife Sarah dies he doesn't have to say much he says he's looking for a grave site and please help me and immediately the people say they start bowing to him and pretty much saying you are the president of God you you're the representative of God in the world how do they know what is there a uh advertising in every tent with with abah's picture in those days there wasn't Facebook and WhatsApp and and profile pictures and Linkedin and there's nothing like how could they know this is Abraham and he's this one and maybe it's not someone that looks like him surely aam represented himself in a certain way not just the clothes that he wore but the way he looked the way he behaved the way he carried himself and the rambam writes in chapter 5 in the fifth he says whoever conducts himself in this manner following everything that he said here in regards to modesty sanctifies his soul and purifies himself and finds his character and ends up having children that will be handsome and modest and worthy of wisdom and P meaning to follow this instruction set is not just that a will love you and you'll be a better evidem but you will breed that as well your children will follow suit there are many kids that literally seems like they were born on the left side they wake up angry they go to sleep angry they were born everything is like left side there something wrong you bring him to sh the guy can't sit for two and a half minutes you tell him he doesn't know what you're talking because he's thinking about some video game or something he saw it's almost like it's a Golem you're not really sure what's happening now of course every single soul can do chuva needless to say a Jewish Soul can do CH and get closer to fix itself regardless of where it started but the rambam is giving us a way to get a head start meaning why not breed children bring children to the world that don't have to go through the difficulties that we did for so many years he says if you sanctify yourself make yourself Holy by acting in a certain modest way you will end up having children children he's talking to men not to women here you will end up having children that are not only modest and worthy of wisdom where when they learn they'll actually understand what they're learning they'll beim but also they won't have a problem finding a why he says they'll even be handsome and whoever doesn't conduct himself in this way someone walks around with a shirt open sees his his wolf on his chest walks around half naked half to day like he just came back from the pool he spits out curses like it's nobody's business he acts in a relatively unethical way this is a person the ram says the opposite he says in contrast whoever conducts themselves in the way of the rest of the people who walk in darkness will have children like those people all of those kids that you see that are causing the problems in the neighborhood the ones that are smoking marijuana even though they're only 13 14 years old and you shouldn't even know what marijuana is all of those kids that are already stealing all of those kids that are cursing filling up a storm with Cur all of those people guess what their parents were just like them at least at the time they consumated the baby maybe they did Chua now maybe they're T came now but at that time there's a reason why this happened the kid could still do chv the parents can do Chua everyone can improve but the key here is that for anyone who hasn't had kids yet or all of their kids yet this is like a cheat sheet that if you do this now whatever that will come out of you will be drastically better than anything you can imagine this is a promise from the Ramba you could take this to the bank now he continues and he says in his next Al number six he says people that people that spend their time learning tah conduct themselves with exceptional modesty where it's not say it's not just simply the way that they dress because even Muslims wear a turbon on their head and they have a long beard and they cover pretty much their entire body espec especially the ones that still live in the Middle East so that's not what he's talking about only he says but rather the modesty is an awareness that a causes a person to cover their head out of respect meaning don't cover the your head with a hat or even with a keeper just because your community requires it or cover your head with a keeper because you're at you know like some people they walk around with nothing and they come toet comes out of their pocket they hey hey hey what happened what you forgot your head how come you can't walk around were you embarrassed to be a Jew they don't want to put a keeper the whole head why because they're embarrassed people that love people that fear it's not just what theat says that wearing a keeper is a sign of it's a sign of fear of hem it's a sign that you understand that hem is above you and he's the holy king and so on no it's not just that what he's saying here is that the keeper the big keeper the covering the head is actually part of the modesty of the man why how dare you have a naked head under your king hence the reason why the rambam and the sadim in his generation wore a turban that covered the whole thing cuz the real way you're supposed to have a keeper supposed to cover your whole head these little quarter Keepers that PE the people War today that's like you know it's like a half a Mitzvah it's like a half a Mitzvah especially when you start having the Nicks and the Jets and the Giants on it it's like a half a okay so you're covering your head but I'm not really sure if it's the right reason because now when hasem says where yon he sees the Nicks instead is that yon or the Nicks his name is Nicks his name is Jets okay jet Jets you guess you Chang his name to Jets this your own guy Steve is now called the Mets Steve is not called LeBron James why that's what he has on his keeper if you will from Heaven sees this what you have on your keeper why because you're not wearing the keep for for modesty for you're wearing it now for style it's stylish to have a blue and a green and this and that it's not enough to follow what T says so that's why he says here that the head covering for a man is actually part of his modesty not just the way that he shows that he fears Hashem because the sages found a huge difficulty to have a bare head because they knew that the divine presence is constantly over them it's constantly there needless to say for a woman who doesn't cover our hair the sages and their wives wouldn't literally leave their head bare for a moment unless they went to sleep and even in some of those cases they left it with covered even during that time certain had so much modesty so much so much connection to that even though you're allowed to take off your keepo to go to sleep you're allow to take off your your heart when you go to sleep no problem they still felt uncomfortable why cuz hem is still here so what if I'm sleeping I know one sadik she goes to sleep with she goes to sleep with the most swimm tell wear no no I'll wear a wig yeah but the wig looks like your hair but my my RAB allows okay fine no your Rabbi allows okay you go to sleep with the wig no as soon as I get home I take it off what do you put on I put he put the on wait so how come you don't put the MIT on outside also how come the MIT is in the house but in outside it's a wig maybe it should be the opposite if anything why are you wearing the wig to go outside no cuz it doesn't look as good for who for all the strangers this is the exact opposite of the you if you want the wig because it looks beautiful cuz you like like it better no problem but you're supposed to look beautiful for the right person who's the right person your husband where's your husband home your husband's home he's not in the streets in the supermarket or your job he's home which means what are you doing now you're taking the wig to wear it to show it pretty to who to Steve and Jose and and all the other people they're going to see you pretty but your husband sees you with and he likes you with the wig shows the sh the Sher behind that shows the Satan inside the Mitzvah inside the Mitzvah there's a Satan I know a woman that covers her hair going to sleep going to sleep she covers her hair I said you don't you don't have to do that hashem's here I said yeah but you're allowed to sleep she goes but aem's here it's almost like I was talking to an alien I'm like yeah but you know some women don't even know where she goes I don't know what other women do I knowm is here I'm going to sleep hasem is here I'm going to hm want a woman that's married has to cover her hair that's what hasem said hasem said it I'm going to do it yeah but you're allow to do this she says I don't know what allowed not allowed all this stuff that you're saying to meem is here I'm covering my hair we had a billion of that Al people understood just this simple me why this woman is making but unfortunately we forgot Hashem is here we remember that Steve is here we remember that uh Darren is here we remember that uh the guy that just came here from Honolulu is here we remember they're here so we want to look pretty for them we remember that we don't feel like covering here for them needless to say the guys which is much easier to cover your hair why no one's going to make fun of you for wearing a keeper they may ask you who died if you're just starting to wear a keeper for the first time because they think that maybe you're doing Chua because somebody died because that's unfortunately the reason why most people start doing cha but nonetheless after you answer that a couple of times no one's going to make fun if you're wearing a keepa no one's going to say why is you keeper too big but they will ask you in sh why is you keeper so small they won't ask you why we're so big if you have a turban like in sh they're not going to say that was too big they're not going to say that but they will ask you why was so small why because the keeper represents two major parts of a guy's life one how much did you have how much fear of a did you have because in essence you're supposed to be reminded if there's something on top of you it's like the heavens on top of you because hm is on top of that the says represent that second thing is modesty and you see that when a person is more modest it helps his Insight it helps his AEM it helps his prayer it helps his whole [Music] life now the rambam continues and he says a person that's going to work on their modesty is never going to demean himself and walk around with a barehead or body a person that has modesty is never going to walk around without a shirt on or with a tank top on or with no keeper on he's never going to not look like a Jew he's never going to not look like he serves hem never yeah what if he's exercising exercise with a shirt on exercise with a keep on what if he's uh you know swimming okay you could take your keep off because they'll probably fall off anyway but who says you have to be naked in front of all those people who says you have to be naked are you allowed technically yes but is that necessarily the most modest thing in the world depends where you want to be in life depends where you wants to get to this is why I always tell people mik the wrote this it's not my own opinion seph wrote this he says if you go to a mik and the people over there in the mik in a place where is a mik you're supposed to in essence purify yourself but the people over there in the mik walk around naked like the Greeks and the Romans there is more a to go to that place than why you're not allowed to walk around naked even among men you're not allowed to look at the member of another man nor are you even allowed to look at your own member when you have certain mik and as people feel like they're uh they're Dolphins they could just walk around naked that's not a mik that's a place of a so modesty is not just something that applies to women or just to rabbis it applies to everybody here now he says that even when ay enters the lantern he should be modest and not uncover himself until he's seated he shouldn't wipe himself clean with a uh with the right hand because that's the hand he uses to put on he should stay away from all others and enter the chamber beh uh beyond the chamber a cave within a cave before he relieves himself meaning that even when a guy goes to the bathroom to relieve himself even during that time he has to be modest why because the explain the way you behave in the bathroom or in the bedroom that's you that's what you believe that's how you are that's that's you that's you that's who you really are that's who they're going to show you in sh that's because that's a person can pretend in front of the people in the B to be a a person can pretend at work to be really generous but he can be like eon in front of all of his friends in this week's when he first met and everybody said no you're going to helpah he needs a grave for the sight he needs a the the cave for his for his wife if one says yeah what of course you could have it no problem a lot of words he said but then later on he came up he pretended like he was giving it to free why he's the isim this is a man of God representative of God but then when it came up to one-on-one with uh with a he says what's 400 Zo between us 400 Jews is like $40 million it's an obnoxious amount of money it's a lot more money than the cave was worth one second you're saying it's free but when it was Private you said it's because you knew he wanted it so he took advantage a lot of people can pretend they could pretend that they love hem they pretend that they serve hem they pretend sometimes they even pray to sometimes you go to AET and the guy is nogging and ning and he's going back and forth and forth and he's going and going and it looks like you have a you know the babaali and the bov mixed into one but two minutes later he's yelling at somebody five minutes later he's stealing from somebody else what is that called in their mouth and their lips they honored me but in their hearts they were far away from me what are you ins inside your heart who are you really and the rambam writes here that even when a person is in his private he's doing something private he has to express modesty he has to be beyond the fence he has to move far away so no one can hear him even the sounds is an expression of immodesty now a person that's immodest is going to be annoyed by this what what are you talking about it's not up to me to make sounds no one says you should stop the sounds be far away from somebody else contain yourself don't be an animal why is everywhere to such an extent the ra writes that many people are violating because of their lack of modesty or even knowledge of it he should not even speak while he's in the bathroom while he's relieving himself even if there's a great need just as he conducts himself with modesty while in Lantern by day he should do it at night why shouldn't he speak why is the who's he speaking to wrote 900 years about all these guys that have phone calls while they're going to the bathroom they have an hour and a half phone call while they're in in the toilet why they're so comfortable with themselves they don't realize that they're even naked that's a problem why because the more comfortable you are with your s's nakedness the more likely you are to be immoral as far as sex crimes are concerned the way that a person needs to behave when he speaks he shouldn't be screaming shrieking at yelling people even if he's angry he shouldn't act like cattle or wild beasts he shouldn't raise his voice excessively he shouldn't act with arrogance he needs to greet all men before they greet him he should judge everyone in good light speak favorably about people if he sees that his words will be effective and that people are going to listen to him he should talk he should rebuke people should tell them the truth but if he sees he's surrounded by a bunch of K haters of Tor he shouldn't speak he should remain silent if if they make fun of the Tor mitvah to be silent but if they're just ignorant no problem talk even this is part of the of modesty when and how to speak having a uh a battle with people a screaming match with people is not you shouldn't question a man about his vow at the time that he's making a vow meaning if a person is really uh upset if somebody just died or if somebody just made a deal or if somebody just lost a bunch of money don't start asking them questions so what did you lose the money on what the market went down oh that's why you're upset that's a sin from the sin the guy is upset he just you know kicked something he just yelled something and you curious you here come what happened what happened why you asking what happened happened what do you care what happened how is it going to help you to ask him what how you could ask him if he needs any help you could ask him if he he could do anything but asking him what happened how he lost the money and who just yelled at him and who's the customer that left all that stuff that's not going to help him it's just going to make him more upset because you're reminding him of what he's upset about and he has to repeat it again he's already feeling it now you're asking him to say it which requires him to think about it requires him to speak about it and requires him to hear it because he hears himself talk you reminded him of the problem three times he should not look at his fellow man at a moment of humiliation but turn his attention away you see that one of your friends one of your colleagues or just a fellow Jew is embarrassing himself walk away walk away don't uh have a laugh at it don't enjoy yourself at his uh at his expense he got a little too drunk at the porn party he's making a fool out of himself don't stay around and enjoy the enjoy the laugh either help him out or leave he should not speak to a woman in the marketplace even if she's his wife or his sister or his daughter this we spoke about last week in the marketplace everybody's there no one's going to know know who this woman is if he starts talking to some strange woman and he's a everyone say oh look see this he's talking to somebody's wife right now it's gonna be because they gonna think you're talking to somebody else's wife they're not gonna know that it's your wife they're not gonna know it's your daughter they're gonna think it's somebody else and it's going to cause shouldn't just talk to women uh in general needless to say even if it's his wife if it's in a market you want to talk to your wife talk to her in private talk to her in your car talk in the house a couple of words here and there where you need to go but to have a whole long drawn out conversation you have to think about what other people see next Al says that he should not walk around erect and his his head held high you shouldn't run in public like a madman nor bend over like a hunchback he should cast his eyes downwards as he does when he stands during prayer and he walk in the marketplace like a person preoccupied with business Affairs this also solves a lot of issues for example when it comes to you know immodesty that's in the streets if you're constantly carrying books with you or sepher with you and you're occupied you need to go to a certain store you need to go to a certain Market you need to go to something you already have a a destination already wired in your brain of where you need to go and you're focusing on that and you're thinking about Hashem you're thinking about things that perhaps you could be learning you're going you're not going to know even that there's this Imus woman here and the Imus billboard there and this one is a p and this you're not going to notice all this stuff why because you have a destination you're just walking around in the mall on a Sunday afternoon just to see what's going on you're window shopping you're not doing that you have a destination you're going from point A to point B that's the only way to survive in the world today whether you're in Florida or you're in New York or you're in Israel everywhere there's modesty everywhere if you want to be modest protect your eyes protect your you have to always be preoccupied and have a certain a uh goal of where you're going and why you're going not just walk around aimlessly even if you want to take your family to the zoo or some park or anything like that if you continue behaving that way the modesty around you is not going to affect you why because you have a go you're going to a ride you're going to see the lion you're going to see the bear you're going to see get hot dogs I don't know what you're doing but you have a destination so all of the filth that's around you is not going to affect you as much that doesn't mean you should go to the beach or anything like that because there there's only IM modesty whereas everywhere else there's sa sometimes yes sometimes no but the point being is that if a person protects themselves and understands that Hashem is there right now even if you see something inappropriate since you know Hashem also sees this immediately you're going to look away why because he said if you see your fellow man embarrassing themselves don't continue looking you see a woman embarrassing herself by walking around with underwear you see a woman embarrassing herself without even covering our hair without covering her body without covering anything and she thinks she she looks good she doesn't realize what they're going to do to her in Gom she think she's embarrassing herself don't look don't look I told you guys a story with f right one time when night and woke around and a emodest woman walks past us cross a street or something like that and everyone looked obviously didn't look and I asked him I bother like okay you didn't look I didn't understand yet that in those days really how hard you have to work on working in your eyes but the point is like I just said doesn't bother you and he looked at me like I have five heads what do you mean bother me what bothers me oh the people says I don't understand what the big deal is like what do you mean what the big deal is the woman was uh I I don't understand why everybody's looking and I was confused for a moment I said what do you mean you don't understand why people are looking at a e- modest woman why guys look at a e- modest woman and he says yes I don't understand why they're looking and I kept asking like what do you mean you don't understand why they're looking and he looked at me and he says what they don't see that she's on fire and her skin is melting why would you look at something so disgusting the average person that doesn't clean their mind and their eyes and their brain and their n sees something that he thinks that his yet thinks it looks good some that purified their n someone that purified and Protected Their Eyes sees the after effect what happens to the girl that walks around immodestly hence the reason why he doesn't understand why anyone's looking what he sees is disgusting if we saw what he saw we would also agree it's absolutely disgusting the rambam continues and he says says even from a man man's Carriage meaning even from a person's car a person can recognize whether this person is wise and thoughtful or a fool and Mindless as says in Ecclesiastes 10:3 on the road to when the fool walks his mind is empty and he proclaims to all that he is a fool he informs everyone about himself that he is a fool how sometimes you see guys they get to the traffic light have the traffic light and other people at the traffic light and they look at you they think they're in a movie and start pressing on the gas boom boom boom you want to race what is that a sign of that his car is fast no ra says the sign is an idiot and if you join the race you're an idiot too that's what it's a sign of you speed up just to show people that your car can make a certain sound or can go a certain speed the ra says oh you have a you have a certificate from sh what you're an idiot you're fool that's why he says's Mal his uh his clothing should be attractive and clean it's forbidden the blood or stain or the like will be found on His Garment sometimes you see religious people look like they just came out of a garbage pil that's I know many times that I saw different religious people either besset or on a bus or Subway or sometimes they came to my office one of the things that bothered me a lot is that many times they would smell terrible this is this is desecration of hm's name this is violating this Al you have to look presentable you don't necessarily need to wear a three-piece suit you don't need to wear a tuxedo but you need to look clean you need to look representable don't walk around like you just came out of a garbage pale and don't smell like one either why it's a sin because if people think that religious people smell bad religious people look bad religious people walk around with stains on their clothes religious people look like they just came out of a garbage pil guess what they will not want to be religious that's that's desecration of hm's name you have to always look presentable always don't walk don't walk around you just came out of a shower either don't walk around like you are uh just came from the sanitation department walk around presentable you could wear a long sleeve shirt or a sweatshirt a sweater and long pants perfectly fine it could be any color you want as long as it's not something insane don't wear any of these shirts that have uh the advertising of some of some company don't turn into a billboard like some people walk around with like Tommy Hilfiger from like here to the back you could pretty much see Tommy Hilfiger uh is saving a quarter million dollars a month in advertising just because you bought a shirt or any one of these advertising people walk around with like a billboard on themselves there's no need for that presentable presentable this is not even something that a person should should even argue with why wouldn't you want to look presentable now his flesh should not be visible under his clothing in case he wears something uh exceptionally sheer like the garments produced in Egypt this is very common in Florida and different uh tropical cities where people walk around in the the beach type of weather and they wear all types of linen where pretty much it's like see-through clothes raham says even if you're as a girl of course you all realize I don't have to explain as a woman it's obviously not allowed that someone can see your skin as a woman through your clothes I don't have to explain that right you guys understand that part okay he actually says it's also not allowed for a guy to walk around with clothes that see- through why it's not presentable there's certain Linens there are certain Fabrics that you can pretty much see through the clothes now although some guy from France or Italy decided to to to wear that to sell that clothes for hundreds and thousands of dollars and people are stupid enough to pay for it that doesn't make it allowed just because it's expensive doesn't mean it's actually proper he should not go out into the marketplace perfumed or perfumed clothes nor should he put on a perfume in his hair he is per he is permitted to rub perfume on his body like deodorant and things of that nature to remove any filth or or smell but don't walk around with eight pounds of uh of perfume like when you walk pretty much the whole neighborhood knows you're here some guys walk around with such heavy perfume they walk into the room everyone looks why cuz they know somebody he arrived he left the Aftershock is still here for 3 days he calls it after shave for the rest of us after shock it's an earthquake is uh Polo and and and and Calvin Klein and whatever other uh Jean cier or something like that perfume stayed in the room for three years it's like the incense from the BET mikdash only difference that that was a Mitzvah this is not a deodorant no problem don't smell bad but walking around with a 3 oz of the cologne on you it's not going to help anybody especially yourself why it's not modest because all of these susp these restrictions the rambam writes all of these restrictions are inst instituted lest the suspicion of immorality will arise says be anyone that acts like this that puts a lot of perfume on that wears immodest clothes that acts a certain way that's immodest people will know oh oh that guy he's a womanizer he's an adulterer he's a player in today's garbage language he's one of those guys that has a new girlfriend every week why because that's how they act forever it's not new today those people that put so much attention into themselves they go to the medicure and pedicure three times a week they do their eyebrows they do their this they do their that they put eight kilos of perfume they walk they walk around with a brand new shirt every hours you know those types of people that are like almost like women pretty much for sure womanizers for sure immorality and even if the guy is the exact opposite he's not immoral he has a wife he loves her he never cheat on her even once he's still not allowed why it'll be suspected that he is because of the way he looks because he's too much of a pretty boy because he's too much of a guy that's like looking at the mirror half the day it's not appropriate for a person that wants to connect to it's allowed to be groomed it's allowed to look good but you're not allowed to turn into something that is too much as he said first thing he says don't look like a garbage pil obviously you could look presentable but don't spend half the day in front of the the mirror don't take an hour and a half to get ready you're not a woman 20 minutes you're finished with the shower with everything else you're done it shouldn't don't F your hair three and a half hours he puts the gel and every week he start he tries a different gel that holds his hair a certain way and he's like this he's like that and he puts the lines over here and the lines over there and the lines over here and over here enough what you dating yourself if you think a single woman in the world one woman in the world is going to pick you because of what you look like this you have you have no idea about women women generally if they're quality women do not pick men because of their looks they don't obviously she doesn't necessarily need to she can't be revolted by you she can't be unattracted to you and think you're ugly but nonetheless women generally do not pick their husbands based on their looks unlike men they women actually pick their husbands based on their personalities so if you're spending all of your time on your looks surely your personality is defective and you'll be alone and there are many really really goodlooking handsome guys that I know from from from my childhood they're in their 40s still single they were always handsome they're still handsome but they're still alone why they spent a lot of time in front of the mirror instead of doing Chua you're a guy spend a lot of time in front of the mirror you care that you have one hair that's gray you pluck it out because Shalom you have a gray hair and you look a day older than 28 guess what you have serious problems not even not with me I care less your problems with hem why you disconnected there's a disconnect there's a disconnect in the cable between you and and it's also going to disconnect you from your potential spouse you're not opposed to worry so much about your looks as a guy look presentable no problem groomed no problem three hours in front of the mirror an hour in front of the mirror you're doing your hair for 25 minutes a day unhealthy unhealthy for a guy spend a few minutes in front of the mirror every day flexing your muscles for sure you're wasting seed for sure you're you're going to make a lot of sex crimes for sure why you're too into your body as a person that wants to be close to you actually have to get to a point where you're uncomfortable being naked uncomfortable why is there every human being is supposed to be uncomfortable naked that's why the ram writes even when a man is with his own wife allowed permissible mitvah to be together even then should be covered with a blanket only the husband and wife should see each other but even the the ceiling can't see you why modesty of course can see under the covers and Beyond the covers but the point is at least to the best of our abilities is the point you're supposed to be uncomfortable why Hashem is there just like he was when you prayed just like he was when you came to the Sho just like he was when you ate just like he was when you went to work so on and so forth Hashem is there when a person thinks all day guess what he'll become uncomfortable naked he'll become less likely to make sex crimes less likely to do all types of things that lead him to that last couple things the ramb writes here in chapter 5 about the behavior of a guy he says as far as a man running his household he should always eat less than befits his income dress as befits his income and provide for his wife and children beyond what befits his income the sages said in page 84b that a person on himself don't Splurge too much when it comes to your you're eating and things like that don't Splurge too much on materialism meaning eat just a little less than what you need don't eat like a pig eat just a little bit you know it's okay don't get overwhelmed when you see a steak you start salivating like a dog you know control yourself control yourself you're hungry you ate it eat a little less than what you need a little less why that separation that restriction you're giving yourself will actually help you become spiritually closer to don't starve yourself don't start fasting four times a week you're not to b or anything but restrict yourself a little bit leave a little bit on the plate don't be one of those people who like oh can I have a second can I have third sir you ate the whole Buffet the only thing you haven't eaten is the table oh is that is that for sale too don't be one of those people relax sometimes people go to people's houses and it's like they never saw food before in their life they start grabbing oh can you PR the chicken can you PR the this buddy did you eat all week relax take it easy a little bit have a little nus nus nus is is is tacked having a little bit of like just I don't know how to say nus in in Hebrew in English it's it's just a certain type of h no nimus is the opposite nus is is being well behaved huh no nus is is just having a good behavior be uh proper behavior proper etiquette that's the word that's the word the point is is to is understand where you're standing understand that it's it's it's you have to always be proper pre appropriate it's Hashem is there Hashem is there people will look at you and they'll build a certain Persona of what Judaism is is what hasem is based on you so if you act like a pig that's what they'll think of religious people yeah but they're religious too doesn't matter they're looking at you everyone's looking at you always think everyone's looking at you and Hashem is there so it doesn't mean you need to fast doesn't mean you need to pretend you're something that you're not but remember there a certain way to behave so when it comes to eating contain yourself when it comes to dressing don't be cheap on your clothes don't wear a uh gar bag for 20 years look like an appropriate person he says he should dress as be fits his income if you are an average middle income type of person wear that type of clothes don't go buy ,000 Gucci shirts that you can't really afford but you're buying it on a credit card don't go spend you know $500 on sneakers and it's your 18th pair that's just being wasteful and it's also doesn't it's not appropriate you don't make that kind of money you make $50,000 a year you just spend 1% of your income on a pair of shoes there's something wrong with you mentally there something wrong with you all of these kids that have 30 40 pairs of shoes there's something wrong with them why says over here you're supposed to spend money no problem but appropriate to what you your income is this is doesn't even need the toah to tell us this is any normal person would know but when a person spends 25 30 40% of his money on his clothing on watches or on jewelry on all the exterior stuff he's not leaving anything for his he's not Le anytime you ask him listen why don't you buy a new pair of how much is it oh good ones 1,500 2,000 depends he never has any money t he goes to shoot without a talit how come you don't have a talit you're a grown man you're 30 years old 25 years old why' you have a talit I don't have any money you look at the guy sneakers at least three $400 for sneakers he has $400 for talit he doesn't have any money why cuz he spends all money on all the time people tell me listen I'm broke I'm broke I'm like how is it everybody's working but everyone's broke they're all working non-stop they can never come to the shoe but they're all broke how are you broke but and at the same time you're working where do you work you work for free you work at a uh at a a homeless shelter as one what do you do that you don't make any money no no I make I make a little bit I make 60 70 $80,000 how are you broke you make $5,000 a month and you broke how many kids do you have no I'm single you're single you make $5,000 a month you still broke how what's your secret you're a drug addict what do you do with all this money no no I don't do any drugs there something wrong you Gambler how is everybody broke everybody's broke why there's no blessing in their money number one because they don't serve AEM properly number two because they're wasteful they live above their means this is why theah is aah that does a few major things for a person number one it shows that you believe that a is the only one that gave you the money it's not because of your talent it's not because of your uh timing it's not because of your intellect no when you give at least 10% of your money to publicize Torah you are showing AEM I know 100% of the money you gave me but you told me to give 10% so that's what I'm doing showing you that I know all the money is yours really but this is for sure I have to give back so it shows that you havea you understand who's running the show but secondly it helps a person build their amuna why because sometimes M will put you in a situation where hasm is going to test you he's going to give you more expenses than your income if you pass it if you pass the test then your money turns into blessed money where you'll be able to have whatever you need with whatever you have now the real mitvah is really 10% of your gross income that's the real Mitzvah meaning you make $5,000 a month supposed to be $500 myale now if it cost you money to make that money meaning let's say you made $55,000 in gross income but in reality you sold a car to make the $5,000 so that five that $5,000 is not really profit the car cost you 2500 and you sold it for 5,000 so in reality 2500 5,000 minus 25500 is 2500 so the M comes from the 2500 so that's $250 but after that that's when you give M the $250 M but the rabbi said that unfortunately some people havea they have littlea baby emuna where they don't believe that they'll be able to pay their bill and eat if they give 10% of their gross so they suggested to them just to get to a point where they at least fulfill some part of the Mitzvah and get themselves used to doing a Mitzvah of giving then they should give M off the net which is whatever you made minus your expenses so let's say again go back to the same number you made $5,000 in income but you have your rent or mortgage it's let's say $2,000 your electricity is another few hundred your food food is another few hundred and gas for your car and uh I don't know insurance it's another few hundred so out of the $5,000 you have $4,000 in expenses and really you have $1,000 net income okay give my off to $1,000 so it ends up being really $100 instead of $500 what it's supposed to be now even though the real mitvah is the $500 is is the 10% off the gross that's the real Mitzvah you should still do if you can't do the 500 don't just do nothing you can't do the 500 because you don't have because you don't believe in God at least enough to give the whole at least start off by giving 10% of the Thousand because that will at least be part of the Mitzvah number two and also it will get you used to giving because once you give and you benefit others there's a certain spiritual pleasure that you'll get out of it that will entice you to do it more and more over time plus it will start blessing your money meaning that you'll be able to keep more of your money as a result of you fulfilling what but of course remember don't just give for parties and for uh and for office parties and for buying your friends a bunch of tickets to the next football game use the to publicize either to publicize or to help somebody it's a or to do those are the two main things that a person needs to do with their money all of the other things as far as feeding the homeless and saving some dog in Kentucky all that of the stuff is great but that's not the same high level of Mitzvah there's plenty of people that will donate to save dogs and chimpanzees and and all types of things plenty of people you look at Ellen degenerous the day she founded her organization some other actor gave her $4 million to what was the organization about to save a special type of monkey or chihuaha or something I think it was a monkey or gorilla in in South America some some guy gave on the first day $4 million and then other people gave her tens of millions of dollars to save I don't know a couple of hundred monkeys in South America if you actually took the couple hundred million dollars you got and actually used it for the people in South America it would be much better but no no we're going to save monkeys so to feeding and doing all of those things there's plenty of people that will save the monkeys and the dogs and the elephants and the zoo and and the extinct fly all that stuff plenty of people for that to there's not that many people use your to publicize like I said either the C of organizations like our organization or or anybody else that you know that actually does helps people do CH or if you have a this is part of what a person can do to help bless theira where hasem will give you more and you'll end up keeping more there's plenty of people that make a lot of money for very very few actually have a lot of money now when it comes to your wife and kids the rambam writes something very interesting he says for yourself eat less then beit your income but dress as it beit your income meaning if you're a rich person you have to look rich don't look like a homeless guy if you're rich you need to look rich wear something that rich people wear wear a suit that's appropriate if you have millions of dollars don't buy a $100 suit it's not appropriate re on a see rebuked somebody that was very rich that was looking a little homeless he says no you're not allowed you have to wear rich people's clothes you can't walk around with $100 suit you have to walk around with a couple thousand do suit why because you're rich don't walk around with uh sneakers and sweatpants not appropriate you have to look rich why people need to know you're rich yeah but you have a responsibility when you're rich you have a responsibility it's not hasm give you rich you have 80 different watches now if you're poor you don't necessarily need to look like you just came out of a garbage P but wear your best whatever you can if you're middle class wear what you wear but when it comes to providing for your wife and your kids not only does he say don't short change them not only does he not say give them whatever you have opposite he said provide them beyond your income meaning be generous with with your wife and kids be generous with your wife and kids is a mitvah if you are stingy you're making a sin aside from sin of what the ramb writes here you're also violating yourba because yourba says you have to be generous with your wife by her dresses by her present that's part of the guys that are stingy are not only spiritually sick they're also making sins every day every second they exist being stingy they don't want to give their wife money or they short changing her they're giving her I don't know $50 for the whole week she's a grown woman you give her $50 a for a week and you have the money you have thousands you don't want to give her money cuz you want it all for yourself it's not only a sin it's spiritual sickness you have to be generous with your kids when it comes to education never ever ever not buy them a SE a book that they need for Tor for for you need a new book yeah but you have books yeah but he wants that book buy him the book buy him as many books you needs to at least get him to read get him excited Yesa if you could afford it afford the best Yesa in the world yeah but there's a local one that's half price is that the best one no the best one is twice the price if you could afford it get the best one why that's what you're supposed to do same thing with your wife don't look for a uh item on sale at Walmart for anniversary oh honey I got a two for one for this year one for next year you're also going to get divorce one for this year and the next wife also going to divorce you wives hate cheap husbands wives hate cheap husbands it's aah to be generous with your wife not if she's a sick woman and all all day she spends money but someone that's healthy someone that just wants basic stuff she wants food she wants to uh have a uh some good clothes she wants to have a decent car she wants basic stuff no problem be generous with her be generous with her don't wait for her to beg don't wait for her to ask be generous with her one of the things that I could tell you that we do in my house that I think is a very good that has helped a lot of a lot of these conversation to Simply never take place is we have a little box I put money in the Box soon as I see the money is out I put more money in the Box every time whatever a few hundred Ione need spend as much as you want as soon as it's out I'm going to fill it again why I don't want you to ask me for money why I don't want you to feel uncomfortable I'm calculating how much you're spending not spending I trust you you trust me here this box we put it there you go take as much money as you want she knows how we're living she knows it's all a miracle anyway she watched herself but the point being AB time it's never this uncomfortable meeting that husbands and wives always ask if the if the wife is a housewife and she's dependent on the husband and so on don't have that put money in the Box give her a card whatever it is that's it be generous with your wife if she's a sick person and she doesn't stop spending then why' you marry her in the first place but if she's a normal person give her the ability to do whatever she wants why if you're generous with her it's going to eliminate a lot of schite problems most of the schlom problems that I deal with are not just because of immorality and addictions and sick people but also it's because many times because the husbands love their money more than their wives it's a very very sick addiction these days people literally are worshiping their money like it's God Ram says you want to be a gentleman you want to be a sadik you want to be a you want to be a kosher Jew you have to be generous with your wife have to be this these are not suggestions this is a lastly he says in the last in this uh section he says that a person needs to be stringent with himself and his own accounting but gives and yields to others when he buys from them when you conduct yourself in business don't be overly demanding about what they owe you but be demanding about what you owe them if you're going to buy stuff my father taught me this God bless him he says don't negotiate on small money don't negotiate on small money like if you're going to go to a store you're going to buy something you're G to buy you're going to buy SE you're GNA buy groceries whatever you're buying it's small money it's $100 $200 few hundred it's not big money don't negotiate just pay the guy whatever he wants don't negotiate let the guy make a living let other people make a living people that do not allow other people to make a living they don't want anyone to make a profit on them these are detestable people they don't want anyone to make money on them they want everything for free these are detestable people they're the worst customers in the world the worst business people in the world also worst people in the world when it comes to business you have to conduct yourself in a certain way where you have to be generous with other people let them make money don't negotiate on small money if it's big money spending 10 20 50 100,000 half a million a million oh okay negotiate you got to negotiate a little bit here and there when it comes to small money don't even bother for what so you could save an extra $20 let the guy make $20 the poor guy he's uh he's he's slaving all day just to get the product to you you get a short change him for 20 bucks let him make the $20 let them make the hundred whatever it is let them make let people make money on you it's okay it's not a sin to allow people to profit but even more so is that a person needs to to also be very yielding with other people as far as when he's judging them you see somebody doing something that doesn't look so right don't assume the worst right away don't assume the worst right away the opposite you see yourself doing something that may be looked as wrong assume the worst right away with yourself you have to be strict with other people you have to be more lenient that's what the rambam says here the rule is that he should be among the pursued and not the pursuers those who accept humiliation and not those who humiliate others he says if you want to be an you want to be a sadik don't be one of those people that looks for other people's mistakes constantly makes fun of everyone constantly bothers everyone a bully don't be one of those if you end up being one of those that's actually being bullied that's being pursued people making fun of you writing comments on you on the internet all that stuff that's a good thing it's a good sign why that's hem helps those that are pursued those that are chased he helps those people it doesn't help the people that are chasing what about people making fun of me good why that suffering that you have from people making fun of you is removing the sins that you've made don't be the guy that humiliates other people now all of this stuff that I just said is right before chapter six where the first Al says that it's natural for a man's character and actions to be influenced by his friends and Associates and for him to follow the local Norms of behavior meaning is that all of this what we just said is a preparation of how to act among other people because other people are going to influence you and most people are not most people are not righteous most people are not you have to already prepare yourself to be surrounded in all types of circumstances some of the people that are next to you are not going to be the nicest people in the world you still have to be nice some of the people around you are not going to be the most generous people in the world you still have to be generous some of the people are not going to love hem like you do you still have to love hem no matter what but but also know that you shouldn't stay around those people if you're going to Yesa or to a b or you're in a community where simply everybody's just making fun of hem or they're making fun of you or both find a new place what if you can't afford it that's perfect why because that means that you already got the answer from Hashem that's where he wants you if you can if you can't afford to move a bad from a bad situation that means that hasem wants you to experience this bad situation and overcome it but if you can't afford to leave and go to a better place then what are you doing staying go to a better place go to a better go to a better go to a better Community that's what money is for if you don't have money you don't have money but if you have money use it what are you going to sa it for the next Generation if a person simp simply understands that everything comes from a they're going to understand every single word that we said it's going to be easy for them to act modest it's going to be easy for them to be generous it's going to be easy for them to serve hem through their prayer and through their learning because when they learn they'll think about Hashem when they pray they'll think about Hashem they'll feel Hashem physically not that hasm has a body or even a likeness of a body but he will give you a physical feeling if you're close enough to him and that's why the in sh chapter 8 writes that when a person stares down at the Earth he reminds himself that after all nothing is's nothing more than dust and that he shall return to dust in this way he will not be seduced to pursue the fleeting desires of this world and the pel continues by saying that that when a person weakens his desires for material things by looking at the Dust by looking at the ground and having his heart at the heavens he looks and he understands the meager basis for all physical things and when he prays his prayers will be answered because as it says that he who casts his eyes downwards will be saved says in job 22:29 when a person simply strips himself of this world of the materialism of this world of the addiction to materialism in this world and he connects to the one and only by saying in his head in his mouth in his behavior in the way he looks in the way she looks you're constantly living your life with an understanding that a is here here where wherever you are he's already there if you act like that where you understand that is here wherever that here is automatically it'll be easier to serve AEM it'll be easier to pray to him and it'll be much easy for him to justify answering your prayers hopefully this helped us understand a little bit more about our prayers tomorrow we're going to be in Sunny Isles doing a questions and answer series series stumped the rabbi this is something that we could all take into account to serve hem better to serve our communities better do better for the rest of our fellow Jews that do not know better because if we do better they'll become better amen amen [Music] n oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] no oh 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