Don't Fall Back on Past Mistakes

gentlemen welcome to practical spirituality here padishah tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount today we are oh just a couple announcements number one is everybody watches my classes every single person watching my classes I don't mean once I mean you keep watching them and you're gaining from them your job is to pay it forward because I'm hiring people and that's called the yom tov media Club which is I'm hiring a publicist right now that's big bucks hiring a social media expert the big bucks I got to put it out there I'm not paying for this this is this is just my live feed but we're gonna get a cameraman also we're gonna pay for it so we can so I can actually move around the room cuz I'm kind of trapped in front of this camera I used to use this room like nobody's business I used to teach classes from that back wall and come flying up around the side shoot down the aisle you know it was like an action sports experience to be in this class anyway so please if you've watched already a few classes yom tov media club.com get on there i don't care if you come in on a student level I don't care what let me come in just on some level okay I got thousands of people watching this every day and at this point I've got 20 people in the club which ain't cool because I know a lot more than 20 people are watching this every day and so just pay it forward man like where else you gonna give your money you know with what else you're gonna buy yourself dinner it's like if you came in at the student level it's ten bucks a day that's like that's like how many dinners is that for the year two dinners maybe if you go out and no city right two dinners like is it worth it to get some classes out there for the world big temple what's that 120 bucks a year and it's about a dinner if you're taking your spouse out or something so or it's a it's not even a trip to a therapist and this will do a lot better than a therapist oh my goodness so no offensive therapist obviously I'm getting a little work and the other cause I just want to mention is there's a physic that's you got to put on a see if you're gonna do that there's a Kyle and it may not work also if the Heat's on out there it's gonna blow heat on us there's a kala there's a bride ooh ain't got no dough and some people gave very generously broke Hashem we've really gotten some generous gifts but we're still raising money for this bride and please turn on low the fan it's on high it's the bottom right corner of the console okay so the our question today that we're handling is why or how to not fall back on past mistakes so what happens with with our past mistakes is that we have just pressed the bottom right side once no no the bottom right side ones no no don't touch that yeah the bottom right side you're on the left side there you go thank you stay there till goes off it didn't go if I did you're good you're good that he yeah I think it's cool no I think it's cool thank we're good so here's the deal one of the major mistakes people make is they miss they fail to measure impacts people fail to measure impacts like for example right now you're having like major negative impacts on people right now right now and you have major negative impacts on people for example let's say let's say you're short with your mother when she calls you I mean it's like the woman just can't call it the right time it's always been timing okay so here's the woman who gave you know carried you for nine months gave birth you you know she like she would give you her life for you she basically did it's just that she survived the birth you know she um I mean she she your father to like both of them sometimes the father also came called generally the mother can never call her her daughter at the right time and father's can never call their sons at the right time and most of the reason is because they they love giving unsolicited advice now how old do you feel when they give you an solicit advice about nine well how long is anyone gonna spend on the phone with someone who makes you feel like you're nine so we hang up on them real quick except those are the only two people in the world who would refinance their homes if something happened to medically something happened to legally they would refinance they would sell their home they would sell everything they got these are people carefully the most and yet you can't seem to give them the time of day so that's a major impact it's impacting you it's impacting them and you can ignore that for years you just go on for years ignoring that you don't recognize your own don't own you don't get your own space shuttle crash you know when the Space Shuttle crashed in the US the last space shuttle they found debris in four different states so the police had to like tape off this these four corners of four states you know for the for what's called a debris field it was this massive debris field with debris everywhere from all the wreckage of that plane you want to slide over one seat so he can sit in with you are you already sitting there oh you know he's good okay so there was you know it's a massive debris field so you're life is a Space Shuttle crash your life like I'm speaking to you like your life is a Space Shuttle crash and there's debris everywhere and you'll just keep going you're just gonna keep going there's gonna be more more debris and then you'll get married and they'll be all kinds of debris in your marriage and then you're gonna have kids and there'll be all kinds of debris on your kids and you just keep going so our class we're here to answer pass how do we keep ourselves from going back to past mistakes we're going forward like with all kinds of debris around us cuz the answer of how you stopped going back in the past mistakes is you measure the debris you got to measure the impact a lot of us don't measure the impact so one must hold that I liked very much that I heard from Jordan Peterson was the was that the maze of life when you put when you put a rat in a maze and it's gotta like go through the maze and get to the other side if you can put cheese on the other side your pungent cheese that's gonna smell throughout the maze so the closer he gets the more it smells so the rat you'd think the rat goes faster if he's got cheese on the other side for sure that's an incentive for the rat and it's gonna move faster through the maze but what they discovered was if you put the smell of a cat if you like blow the smell of a cat into the exit the entrance where the cat where the mouse went into the you know where the rat went into the maze if you blow the smell of a cat there what happens to them and how fast is the rat go now yeah like four times faster so no cheese it goes a certain pace and that's all the Millennials today who like all the young people who have no motivation for anything really they wind up in our essentials class and ditching their seminaries and stuffing Shiva's and stuff but they just cuz they've lost motivation to be part of that so at least you know maybe this place will give them some ins maybe we can provide some cheese today I am actually providing the smell of a cat because of her question but uh but what happens is you when you smell that cheese you're got incentive now for something you might get motivated our generation there's no cheese and there's no smell of a cat because it's human nature to avoid negative emotion it's our nature to avoid negative emotions so the reason you fall back to past mistakes because you never quite measure the emotion in your heart of negative emotions that came from the mistake it was just a mistake even calling it a mistake is like a bit of a joke because it was a much bigger disaster than that it wasn't just a mistake the question isn't how do I stop myself from falling back to past mistakes question is how do I stop myself from falling back to the disaster that my life is when I do stupid things because it's a disaster it's a it is a another style of Space Shuttle crash it's more of a it's more about what are those people from Gaza shoot one of those rockets they're shooting they have names yeah they're just Rockets whatever they're explosions these aren't like mistakes mistakes are like going to the wrong address you know mistakes are like ordering the wrong you know meal or something these are like disasters but we don't measure we don't measure the impact and so if you want to be really motivated you got to think about that rat who's got the incentive in front of him he knows or she knows what she wants and you also got to have the smell of the cat of what price you paid if you don't get there what is it gonna cost you and it means going in deep about that you gotta go in deep and what what what's it cost what's the impact and there are also future impacts - I mean there's past impacts there's future impacts some people work better with the next world also like there's some people are like got a serious fear of Hell meaning that you're gonna have to pay the price now just on the subject of Hell for a moment because a lot of people don't understand Judaism's take on Hell hell is a is a world that you weave in this world and while you're in this realm meaning while you're in your physical realm you actually weave this world called hell feel something's called Gehenna and you you weave it while you're here you make it while you're here all the fabric is woven while you're here and then you go and you've got to go into it when you die you get to go into what you wove and deal with it and it ain't pretty over there it's not a nice place to be but it's all yours it's 100% yours you're not gonna get anything that you didn't create because everything you get everything you do in this world is creating your spiritual life and so and so the good moves you're making are gonna be eternal and wonderful and the negative moves you making that that's you're gonna have to deal with that it's but it's temporal it's not forever and one more thing and the reason we know this logically is well not just from pure tradition from the rabbi's meaning the Kabbalists the reason we know this also logically is because have you noticed there's very little consequence for people who make dumb moves I mean the people will do moves like steel there's a very little consequence going on meaning someone could just rip off some guy's bike and ride it and enjoy it for years on just love it and then sell it and then take that money and pay for nice suit just gonna wear around and and as far as he's concerned it's all been good news the whole time I mean yet the wall can catch up to somebody at the cops can say hey whose bike is that and then he'd be like stuck and now he's gonna get busted but but he could possibly not get busted and a lot of people haven't you have about what percentage you think of people get busted stealing bikes very very low percentage I mean just yesterday I was hearing of someone who was someone who found his stolen bike called the cops and say I know where my stolen bike and the cops are like we don't have the manpower for that it's like it sounds like Sodom and I'm up civilian in the Maya you know lawlessness like even the cops aren't interested it wasn't cheap biking so anyway but you realize that people walk around without consequence so unless God has six sense of humor which he made but unless God has a sixth sense of humor all of what we do down here has to have a consequence but you don't see the consequence I mean for example this kala who were trying to marry off so so I'm also giving but from a purely physical level if that looks stupid she's not my daughter like why am I just throwing my money into the wind for some girl to get married happens to be my daughter's best friend but let's just say it was a random call I've given for plenty of random brides to help them with their dowry over the years you know it must be I believe that there's that I'm weaving a world somewhere I I'm not gonna see it here I'm not gonna go into the wedding I don't know who the family is I'm just like throwing my money into the wind for this family and but I must be weaving something I must believe that somehow and I don't believe God has a sixth sense of humor and the same thing with negative moves is doing the wrong things is I know that's gonna be I'm gonna be facing that later and I don't want to weave that kind of world and I believe that God I don't believe God has a sixth sense of humor and that we can do the wrong things and get away with it I don't believe we'll get away with it I even believe in this world you'll get hit you have a heaven you noticed you get hit down here too you get double hit because when you're going on the negative vibrations boy do you attract negativity towards you right which can attract the big-time negativity enjoy lives so you get hit in both worlds you're weaving a crazy world in the Ganim level and you're weaving a craziness in this world because once you have that kind of negativity attached to you there's no end of negativity that can come your way you know so but back to us is we need that smell of the cat so I was saying regarding the next world why did I just talk about the next world I was speaking about it because there's people were very motivated by the next world i person was not raised observant so the next means almost nothing to me I mean it means almost nothing I believe it exists I'm motivated by it but I wasn't raised with that concept you know I was raised that this world's all you get which is probably why I fill my schedule the way I do because I'm even though I know there's a next world I'm still living every day as if there is not meaning as far as getting things done I'm extremely motivated to to do everything in this world including a whole crazy bucket list of places I still want to surf which is like rabbi you know get over it already you know like what is wrong with you you know but I I won't let go of it I just did Costa Rica you know like a week of surfing in Costa Rica unbelievable check check Costa Rica's been served I think my next spoils is gonna be Jeffrey's Bay even though I've served South Africa many times I've been kind of saving Jeffrey's Bay which is considered one of the it's called the queen of the coast it's one of the greatest waves in the world it's just not where the Jews lives that's why I keep missing it but this time I'm that's it like I'm gonna go to Jonah Hannah's burg teach the Jews and then I'm flying on some little plane to Jeffrey's Bay and I'm gonna put a check on Jeffrey's Bay as well so so the anyway but the the for those of us who are you know like people raised observant like the people here in Asia are you weren't raised observant oh this is so exciting we need to take a snapshot of you for our donors anyway so you also you were Jorma carving this guy little like here so anyway that's why we need a camera man I fall out of the screen to give a high-five like what's going on in here so anyway but you can have a double motivation and the way you do that how do you stop from past mistakes is that you have consequence in your future let's get'em and then but you also have like just think about it what impact does it have what impact does that have what impact does it have let's just say for example one of you ladies got some guy's heart trapped up in your in you let's just say you got some guy's heart trapped up in you now you can play around with impact well what's the impact that well nothing it was fun it was great it was full of good feelings everything like that it was what's wrong with that well let's project your life into let's say you're married now you're married and now you noticed that the guy you're married to the guy you're married to he seems distracted meaning maybe he just seems like like he's distracted by maybe his heart's been kind of there's a couple slices like if the heart's like a pie a chart cuz the higher it is really a pie chart you know like I like I like surfing I like mountain biking I like I just picked up another mountain bike brothers ship I sold three bikes to get one bike for my sons roughest gym so I've finally got it all done I'm just coming back from Tel Aviv where I picked up a new a new mountain bike but I love serving kids in my career so my heart is like a giant pie chart but how would you feel how would you feel to be married to somebody and notice that they're sliced their heart has missing slices would you like that I'm gonna marry do a guy whose hearts got slices pulled out of it you don't want that it would suck right but how many of you have pulled slices had amend and and then you're expecting like somehow that's not gonna happen to you like why wouldn't there be a me to connect it me that that you'd wind up with that situation having done that to another man I tell this the same thing to men who don't guard their eyes with women tell them the same thing like you expect your girls to be good but you're willing to stare at someone else's daughter so I'm being a little rough today but alright I don't know why I'm doing this I normally I'm nice but normally I am nice really but you hear the question you're the question like what comes around goes around you know what goes around comes around and and if you want your daughter to be good like for heaven's sakes like don't look in another person's daughter like a piece of meat right and then perhaps your daughter won't be looked at like a piece of meat and so so these are all impacts by going deep you gotta go a little deep you've got to think deeply about what happened in the past mistakes that were made and what what was the full collateral impact and not just to know it but even to feel it like to feel it well how am I supposed to feel it I could maybe figure it out you want me to feel it answers yeah how do you feel it you will you get yourself alone in a room you turn off all lights and you put on some I don't know maybe some meditation music or something like that something deep that's gonna bring tears then you close your eyes and you breathe deep into it and go through that whole scenario and you may not cry but you may and if you can cry over that you're never gonna make that mistake again you're not you're just not gonna go there again cuz you need the smell of the cat you need to know what it smells like back there so that you never go back there again there's nothing more motivating than the smell of that cat for a rat and if you've acted like a rat so so you need this you need to realize what what are the consequences of going back that way and the answer is well I fully fully become present to the impact that it had and some I'm just not going back there again I don't I don't go there and I think all of us we do a lot better going deeply into the impacts of things all of us would do a lot better going into that you'd find your life in a totally different place if you do that because what it means is you're not susceptible anymore for returning human beings once they've done that full inventory of mistakes they just don't go back there and they're just not doing that you know I know in my own life for example like I made a lot of mistakes with playing cool because I had intense social anxiety and cool seemed to work for me so so I was doing the whole cool thing for years and years and years and years and years but people got hurt got hurt by that and but cool comes quite naturally because when you have social anxiety and your anyway kind of naturally cool so it's easy to go cool again it just got very easy to go there and so I can easily go right back to cool but I can't because I've cried it through all the way through the cost that cool had cost it had on others who tried to keep up with me some of we're not alive anymore cuz I I always land on my feet but a lot of people try to keep keep up with me throughout all those years who don't land on their feet they didn't have my mouth' the there's other people who weren't in the free world today because they were not so they just kept moving in their wet realms that they didn't know where to stop cuz they weren't Jewish there's something about when you're Jewish you're a lot better not getting caught that's why recently I was I like not raising like 10 years of cars trying to raise money for the legal fees of some guy who was in jail and and I didn't know who he was but I was told he was totally innocent can I raise some funds so the first person I call says says he's Jewish I'm like yeah he's like he did Jews are just so good at not getting caught at what they do so if you actually got caught you know it must be did it there's no other way that he didn't do it and the guy was right actually I found out later he did do it doesn't mean you don't get him out of jail you know get him post bail or something you know cuz he wasn't a danger to society but he had done something that was illegal so the anyway their impacts for example how I treated my little brother when you're being cool you treat your younger sibling well you'd let your younger sibling hang around your friends if you let your younger sibling come to your parties yeah younger sibling in your life I didn't and that had massive impacts I called my younger brother years later like 20 years later I called my younger brother literally 20 years later we're both like adults and married I called my called my brother and I cried I think for a half hour straight I didn't stop sobbing apologizing for the cool years and so you think I'm going back to do you think I'm gonna use cool think cools think I'm going for cool after measuring those impacts think I'm going back to that mistake what do you think hmm yes or no no way not not once I've once I've been in the debris field and looked at each piece of debris and held it to my heart I don't go back to those things those are not available mistakes anymore and so that's the smell of the cat that's when you realize you're just not going back there anymore it's too dangerous back there by the way I'm still allowed to be cool like for example I walk into a building here and someone says some tour guide says oh it's the surfing rabbi too you know family you know like family of 12 here for a Bar Mitzvah he's like it's the surfing rabbi so I'm like what's up everybody good they're like really is surfing I'm like yeah man I'm from Malibu yes sir and they're like that's so cool and I'm like why don't y'all come to my class they're like great so they all walk into this class soon as that door closes I'm like they're like what happened to the cool rabbi you know so I mean there's nothing wrong with using something you got good at for them you know I got good at cool for all the wrong reasons but it doesn't mean you can't try to make a difference with it you know what's anything you got good at you know I I plagued the reason I play guitar is cuz I failed at piano I'm from a family of musicians so you can only get your instrument once you're good at piano you gotta get good at piano learn all the music theory and then they let you get another instrument but I failed piano so badly I had like tater tots four fingers I couldn't stretch them over the keys and and music theory structure I don't think and stretch I'm a pure creative thinker and so I don't think in terms of structure so I failed piano so you know what I did I bought a guitar when no one was looking let's bargain today I play guitar and fairly rock on guitar as well should I quit guitar now that I know that it was really just a cover up for my failure in music what do you think keep playing or quit make a lot of people happy with it lead meditations with it help people their lives with it I'm not saying you can't use the things you're good at if you got good at them for the wrong reason but I want you to get this distinction before I had to be cool now I can use it before I had to play that guitar now I can use it even public speaking I felt like I was stupid when I was a kid because what is the education system structure or creativity it's all structured now I failed that I mean I couldn't read I can write I couldn't do anything could new math nothing they were offering was something I could do unless it was like finger-painting and and so that was a total failure but you know what I noticed well I may be dumb but I noticed smart people they speak well they're articulate in none st. well they're their vocabularies large so I notice all these things about smart people when it comes to speech so I said to myself well I could never be smart but I could sound smart and lo and behold it worked should I stop public speaking no I can use my public speaking and but before I had to cuz I'm stupid now I can be smart because I am smart just not structure smart I'm creativity's okay anyway but that's how you do it that's how you make sure you don't go back to past mistakes it's measure the impact deeply think about the fact that you're weaving an ex-world for yourself and and just but you measure that impact so deeply that you just never go back there again clear questions comments in one week last twenty one week yeah so the so they the only weave from twenty the Ganim world only is from twenty yeah yeah except you want to start practicing this week so you just kind of get a little you want to get a little moment you know it's not like you can become a Tzadik in a day you know yeah anyone over 18 should be getting ready for 20 you know like get good habits so that when you hit 20 you know and and also there's always chuva you know you still have a remnant there's always a bit of a remnant even after Yom Kippur there's a remnant you got it the world you weave you can clear it up as much as possible through chuva 3 ohm kippers through other ways of of atoning but but there's always a what's with the cobble is called a regime ax still at a bit of a it's a word regime militias still a mark there it's still there it's still there there's still something there and so but for sure to do two of us often this pouch is possible especially if you did something wrong you chew it right away okay any other questions coming something okay that's our first class