Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser - Don't Be Looking For The Happiness

Shalom and welcome to practical spirituality here in Asia tour in the old city of Jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount I mean the temple be built soon in our days Amane so it's still the month of Honor and so today we're gonna discuss a little bit about about simpler and interestingly the first thing I'd like you to know about simply is take it off your list as a goal take it off your list as a goal ya happiness get rid of happiness as your goal you want to meet a depressed person look for someone who's made the goal happiness you know that's a depressed person and I'm not gonna mention any Jewish groups that have put simply as their like number one they're our number one goal but like you want to find some depressed people just go look over at that group you know there's they you never want to make simcha the goal happiness is not the goal of life you'll notice there's no commandment to be happy if it were a goal he'd be at least one of the commandments to be happy but it's just not it's not didn't make the list of Commandments and and you'll notice anyone who puts it up there and it's probably all of you at one point or another has put happiness at the top of your list of goals the it's only gotten in your way it hasn't helped you at all and and the reason is it's because we're not always happy and if joy is at the top of your list and you're not happy so that means you're failing right now what meanwhile nothing happened nothing went wrong everything's going smoothly like your life is your life and a life looks like a heart rate monitor you know it's got its ups and downs some people are up and down more often than others and some people are a little more steady and their ups and downs but but it's the goal of the the goal is not joy because you're not always joyous and it's very easy to beat yourself up for not being happy and so instead what would be the opposite the opposite would be to just embrace whatever emotional state you're in at the time you know which for some reason Aviva thinks is really funny Aviva we're gonna we're gonna limit outbursts of laughter to jokes okay thank you so yeah I can't expect you to do more than try so anyway the Aviva that happens to be joyous all the time by the way and and when people are having their first dose of Aviva they're there they just kind of they're not sure what hit them and they might even get a little frustrated but you should know that that Aviva's everyone's favorite student in this class because after a while after a while you start to realize that she she's holding the joy factor in this class like she's just got the joy thing down and it doesn't even have to be funny to be funny it's just always funny yeah yeah you're great yeah but you should know people speak about you outside class with yeah people speak mega my Shabbos table with like oh by the way I do have guest third meal I have a big open house every third meal so any of you were talking about my house about how much joy you've brought them and how much you've like kept the level of joy in the classroom on a high level okay now what is the opposite the opposite is embracing where you're at wherever you're at is where you're at and resisting that's not gonna help you at all I mean think about someone who's feeling down resisting that house this day gonna go from there yeah it's gonna go that's a good way to get a bad day to turn to hell is resisting the bad day if you're having a bad day have your bad day you know if you're having that bad day just have it you know there's stuff to do on a bad day your stuff you can do it makes a difference when you do stuff on a bad day like for example you could wear your nicest outfit as if you're going to a wedding or something that's something you could do in a bad day and then everyone kind of looks at you like wow you know yeah and even though you're having your bad day you keep seeing your friends and your friends are just like we'll look at you and you're like okay you know that could help on a bad day is a good day for alcohol yeah you mean I'm not a lot of it but certainly have at least one drink you know drink a glass of wine have a beer you know play around with your psychological chemistry on that bad day a little extra caffeine will actually caffeine could help another amazing thing to do on a bad day is go help people go go help people just volunteer with in any way you can to someone somewhere because on a bad day you're a lost cause so you might as well join someone else's cause cuz you could you still have a body and limbs like go move your body limbs around in such a way that it was helpful to somebody also in a bad day another important thing to do is get out of your house if you're having a bad day do not stay home that is not where you belong you want to get out and get around human beings that and go be a be of service somewhere in a bad day yeah but there's so much we can do on a bad day but the one thing you don't want to do is resist it and make a whole big internal fuss over your bad day because that'll send you into such a tailspin way worse than any bad day would have been right right so you gotta be careful you must you must embrace it Sam there's a bad day and I'm gonna go be of some service to somebody out there and go make a difference for somebody so the goal of life is not joy but this is a class of joy there's a class about joy because we're in a simple mission if my child are Marvin but simple and what does that mean from when you go into the month of Adar you increase in joy you know what that means that means this day should be hired important because from when you get into other which I imagines the whole month so you must increase in joy that means this day has to be an increase on yesterday which has to be an increase on the day before an increase in day before that each day has to be an increase because from when you get into other mission Nick no so not from when you entered other you have to be more joyous and as far as the pill that we all took on on poram which was like you know the mega burst you know joy pill you know when you hit off when you hit poor him that was like boom you know we're going big so now you've got that in you that's in your bloodstream now you got that in your bloodstream and you're still increasing in joy it's just that halfway through Aadhaar you got a big hit and now it's going bigger let's go beer it doesn't done hit you in the face like a burst of joy that we had on poor but you're definitely increasing now because others in every holiday in Judaism is a download that becomes part of the part of your computer it comes part of the hard drive I mean it's an download into the hard drive and so now you're walking around you're walking around with poram inside of you oh yeah I know a lot of you have more rollercoasters type lives so like after poem you felt like you got dumped afterwards some people probably felt dumped after pouring back into life but uh but that's not the case we're going higher with our joy no so what is what is joy all about so joy ultimately is an emotion you can't addicted so much you don't have that much control over it but but the one thing that you can do a little bit of is is that you can use your brain sorry about the music by the way there's some kind of jam session going on imagine it's next story I you mind uh yeah yeah listen yeah yeah you've got enough trouble oh yeah just tell those guys that it's enough already say rap you home tom says it's enough already so we've already discussed this with them but broke your ankle when he's always climbing the western wall I mean okay anyway but if you look at the words of joy in Hebrew so the state of joy is called Bisson huh looks like that bit simcha and that state of joy the word simply means joy busy Allah means the state of good okay so the number oh this means joy and that the bit equals to the equals 300 the min equals 40 and the fit equals 8 and the hay equals 5 what does any call together 3:55 which is an amazing number because that's the number of the word shut up so that is 305 okay so the word for year which is the actual number 355 is the lunar calendar 55 is the lunar cycle so when we say China in Hebrew we literally mean that you know the it is literally the year it's the 355 days of the year is shut up so this is a state of joy and we're meant to be in that state of joy for the year but we just got through saying that you're not always in joy like sometimes you're down sometimes you're not enjoy so it must be that the word simcha doesn't necessarily mean outer joy but rather what does it mean what kind of joy inner joy the word sympho means inner joy we have lots of words for joy in Hebrew and there are outer Joy's and there are energized just like we have words for outer beauty like you yo fee and inner beauty which is pain so there's a lot of different words for for inners and outers in Judaism because there's always the external world and then there's the internal world and the inner joy is the word simcha and this inner joy you can keep going all the time you imagine someone you imagine someone burying their parent visum ha outer joy for not for sure not for sure not outer joy you can definitely not have when burying a parent no one's gonna have outer joy but could someone to have inner joy while bearing a parent for sure for sure they can have inner joy so we see that that reals inner joy is is not disturbed by external events it's not it's not vulnerable to what's going on around you you got to get so you got to get to a place in your life like you got to get to a level to get there and can you guys imagine being in that place well let's look again at the word 355 and see what else equals 355 I know so the same 355 is the word must Shaba an interesting about the word mock Java is it's the exact letters Chang na equals 355 but it's totally different letters besides the shin that's kind of hey look at the word look at the word macho macho ba means thinking or thought it's how you're thinking and moksha ba has the mem the head the shin the bed and the hay it's the exact same letters so the word for thinking has the exact same letters as the word for a state of joy which means that it's up to you right sinner Troy it doesn't matter what's going on outside it's up to you it's gonna be dependent upon you not on what's going on outside of you so what's really cool about that is because is that you become impermanent ball or invulnerable to external circumstances that your state of joy is internal what gives you that state of joy what how can you create a state of joy through your thinking that would be an internal joy that that outlasts or is stronger than your circumstances what would be that joy how do you get that joy and so the answer is you forgot to say that yeah thank you so the answer is mo mo Naya is how you create inner joy well how do you do em or not how do you do mo na oh sorry the word I would not it doesn't have any much translation but it just means being at one with God [Music] it means being real with God I guess doesn't have English the word faith is not in the know I mean you can you could use it that way but no one else uses it that way everyone else uses the word faith as as believing in things you wish were true like doing business doing business in good faith is that I wish the guy I'm doing business with would keep his work as opposed to writing a contract but in Judaism the contracts the faith that is the faith so we don't call that faith I mean here doing business in good faith with somebody meaning no contract that's that's just something you wish were true like Gentiles believing in God they wish there was a God so they have faith that there is in Judaism is when you write a contract with somebody and now you can now act according to your end of the bargain meaning you can do your part of the contract you now do that at peace cuz there's a contract you the law will back you up here you're in good shape here this is why for example in G in our in our seed or kami acid or there we have this definitely shows you what I'm talking about is in the evening prayer every night we say we say the M will not call salt after we said Shama we say then when na calls on and and this is all Amana now according the regular definition of faith is is you know this is stuff we wished were true you know we believe we wish this work a fact even though it may not be but listen what it says here van will now call salt Vica I'm Elena and it is firmly established for us key Hashem who and okay know that God is our God okay that sounds like regular faith except what's it go on it goes on and says says how put day no I'll read in English he redeems us from the power of Kings redeems us from the power of Kings the king who delivers us from the hand of all coral tyrants he is the God who exacts vengeance for us upon our foes who brings just rip do tradition upon the enemies of our soul who performs great deeds that are real income grant wonders beyond number who set her soul life and not her foot about lettuce Knights were an amazing race our pride about those who hated us who brought up for us miracles and vengeance upon Pharaoh signs and wonders and land of calm which is Egypt who struck with his anger at the first point of Egypt it's a history lesson like the first word is van muna and then it just goes down the history the contract the actual experiences we all went through you understand so the word Emunah is defined right here that the word of muna is that when stuff is real meaning meaning when when you're when you're actually totally real with things now you have a muna it's not something you wished were true this is when things are totally absolutely 100% real and then you can now now you have this faith in it to have faith in something that you just wished were true is a very flimsy faith now on the one hand you might say well that's guys got a lot of things you know he's got a lot of babe but there's another way if you can say about that guy that guy's a total idiot because he believes in things that aren't true whereas in Judaism faith is someone who's very real with with reality like let's just say for example a guy hit rock bottom on alcohol you hit rock bottom and alcohol you went through hell yeah the guy just went through hell and he had to go to rehab and he lost his marriage and he lost his house he lost his car and he lost you know everything when I say his house I mean the wife and the kids he lost it so that guy later is when he rebuilds himself is a man of faith because he rebuilt that stuff he's rebuilt him and he went through the hell he went through and now he's like stronger than anybody in this room because he went through it all and he's and he stood up he stood up and now he's he's a living testimony to to everything that he went through and now he's a solid citizen and that's that's faith that's faith whereas where's some guy who just can't stop drinking you know but he keeps coming back saying he's got faith that this is it man he's never drinking again that's the that's the Gentile version of faith cuz you know he's gonna drink all in the right circumstances he's gonna drink again where's this other guy who went through it all had his own leaving of Egypt that's faith that's that strong faith now how do you live with this kind of faith so how do you get your thoughts on this kind of faith that brings the joy the inner joy and the it and outer joy comes and goes as we discussed earlier outer joy comes and goes inner joy is always here to stay that's locked in and how we get that to do I'll just give you an analogy is that you're never focused on external circumstances as much as you're focused on the cause of the external center that's why I said mo naught is that let's say it like a yo-yo external Santa's string was in to have their ups and downs it's always going up and down like a yo-yo so some of us live our lives on this yo-yo going up and down with the yoyo and so our eater joy is either high or low based on the yo-yo but the yo-yo represents external joy which may be circumstantial inner joy is focused on the finger that's got the string of the yo-yo attached to it whose finger is the yoyo attached to yeah that's attached to God's finger and how much does your finger move compared to the yo-yo when you're playing yo-yo a little bit tiny little moves and with god they're like not even really even microscopic moves cuz god's all-powerful and like can make yo-yos do things without much movement at all but you'll see a real good yo-yo person just kind of barely moves and the Yoko's going up and down because they got a feel for that thing and external joy is the yo-yo it comes and goes no one's happy with the fact they have to put their car in the shop for two days and no one's happy to lose their transportation for two days circumstantially it's it's not great especially on a rainy day on these rainy days and stuff there are people who put their car in the shop today and they're not going to see their car till Tuesday and and we got this like major storm coming through Jerusalem once again you know this country's just like in a constant insane rainstorm which is like God just showering blessing upon Israel it's just such a such a blessing it's really a we're really crazy you know think about it like 100 years ago maybe a little more there was no such thing as turning a knob and water came out imagine it and today you find some lady who's like she's got to go meet her shrink cuz she's got to go meet her psychologist cuz she's just she can't decide on which faucet to choose for her for her new powder room in the entrance of her home in the foyer or if she's from Brooklyn in the foyer yeah she can't decide which faucet to choose and like number a hundred years ago there no one had even conceived of the fact that you could actually turn a knob and water would come out yeah you ready what bathing must have been like for like all of history and so God you know like God's doing right now for the Land of Israel he's just like he's just like I mean we're getting so much water like they say they don't need rain for ten years now like like but the canary 'it's like literally ready to flood Tiberias I know my wife and I just drove drove down south we saw we saw like whole valleys that were just like had become lakes never I mean we've seen this valley a thousand times cuz we've been living here for 27 years it's just like a lake you know it's just a regular Valley but it's just it's become inundated with floodwaters and stuff you saw lightning storm I saw some good lightning yeah yeah got to make two brothels in a row lightning and thunder yeah anyway so so by putting your mind by focusing your mind on the finger of God who's causing everything to spin causing the yo-yo to move up and down the yo-yos got to move up and down that's the way life works I mean they're up days or down days we discussed that already but our job is to keep our eyes on the on the the cause of them and that is called a Munna our Munna is is this it's like recognition that gods running the show all the time now there's a whole other subject we're not gonna go into it but it's called a bit tough on Fatah clone you know the word but tough on I mean security in Israel in modern Hebrew but in in in the Holy tongue it means trip trust it's it's the ability to trust God in in your life like like go for it go for it and like know the guy trust Obito home beat the horn means to trust and what has been to hone be to hone is applied emunah meaning amudha is knowing there's God really knowing our history understanding the facts be taught one is now living that way like can you actually live that way so for example this Jew back here what's your name again Roberto amantha wants to live Beto Mexico Panama do they say Beto and Panama more Mexico and your Alberta wants to live in Israel yeah why because of his emunah but what does it take to live in Israel what does it take and what is beat alone it's applied Emunah you know reason he desires to live here is his Emunah and this is the land of a muna - but to actually pull it off that's gonna take the tough and probably the most bit tough one you need is dealing with your family and friends and people which is really funny that the people who love you most are the ones most in the way of what you want very conflicted place to be okay everyone may we all be blessed to have the inner joy and and the outer joy whether it comes and goes that we should embrace what's happening in our lives be of peace that will add to inner joy to not to resist it when you're in those low spaces then for sure move your body around to make a difference for somebody else and and then in in the but but our inner Urim or not is to keep your thinking always all year round full time inside of God and then you'll have what's truth joy which is the inner joyous be simcha no matter what the circumstances are you're always missing huh cuz your your eyes are cast upon the the causer of all things of all circumstance I mean please everyone go online to yom tov media club calm and enjoying the club please yom took me to a club calm Shauna