Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser: Get Paid!!!

gentlemen welcome to practical spirituality here in the old city of Jerusalem a nation tower overlooking the Temple Mount you are gonna be sponsored throughout your life people gonna be paying you money for nothing because in the end you're gonna be doing stuff everything you do every service you'll ever offer is your pleasure raise your hand in the room if you ever did something for somebody that was a hassle you did something for somebody that was a hassle that's it raise your hand if it was a hassle and you did something for somebody keep your hand up what is this give a vauban to hell yeah give him up you did something for somebody okay keep your hands up if you can think of doing some for somebody it was quite random I mean it wasn't a close friend or family member it was someone who was a bit random might have been review took him where they needed to go but you all done something for someone quite random very good and keep your hands up keep your hands up if it was a pleasure it was a pleasure okay and the same people have their hand up you just thought of the wrong person so the same people keep their hand up because it is your pleasure people are going to be doing stuff for each other in this world and it's our pleasure to do that and if you figure out which I bless you to figure out what service you can offer this world it's your pleasure the fact that someone hands you money for that service is their pleasure it's your pleasure to you know it what a blessing that someone will actually hand you money fare service you provided because you know if you how do you know you found your spot and the service you're meant to provide is that you do it even if they didn't any money and by the way for those who are complaining about the money amount of money you're handed for your services don't focus on the amount of money just focus on the service fix it make your service better make it broader make it more thorough you're never to focus on the amount of money you're making for the services you render your only job is to focus on the service you're rendering stay focus all the time under the service that you bring to the world it's your pleasure with or without the money the fact that you get paid for the service you render is a bonus for the difference you make in the world because making a difference in this world is oxygen it's life or death people who don't make a difference in the world can't get out of bed it's one of the major sources of depression especially in young men or even older men who never found it off of Cole's Agana Alderman making a difference in this world is your service the reason why women don't suffer depression the same way over this as men is because built into them is one of the most major purposes and that's the ability to rate have and raise children it's built in you your life is automatically ten times more meaningful than any man in this room and while men are donors to that event the men are really needing to make that difference outside the home which is horrific for women because you've been fighting your mother for your father's attention for years and you know the best thing I can have you is they get in a fight and you come and like bandage him up you know like that's the best but she'll be back to elbow you right out of the way again because mothers are great at keeping their daughters away from their husbands and the so you finally get a husband of your own except the only meaning that's gonna come out of his life in a deep way will be the service he renders outside though now man I'm telling you to render service in the home too if you want to have a happy home and you want your kids to be healthy people make sure you also render service in the home you know don't just sit there like a king yeah and you know your Shabbos table but I you know render some service there too not so much that your wife needs that you probably would prefer you sat there like a king if you have a proper marriage but see your children see let your children see that that daddy's not a bum you know he gets up and helps serve something or maybe helps cook something for Shabbos or it cleans something before Shabbos people who offer you money when you're a young man or young woman take it with joy take with pride people are too proud to take money when they're young first of all they're not gonna amount to anything because they're because you need training I mean if you're gonna get anywhere and the difference you're gonna make in life you're gonna have to know how to do something really well because we're only gonna give you that money if you can do it really well because there's another 200 people we have an option of giving that money to so you better learn to do it well the only way you're gonna do it well as if you trained and the only way you're gonna get trained as if you have money and so for people to sponsor you should be proud to do that let people give you money you're young and when you get money when you're older you can give young people money i sponsor young people in all kinds of all kinds of things let people sponsor you and if you're too proud to take the money and you don't know what's really going on what's really gonna do you think you're a piece of garbage and you're using pride as a cover-up but meanwhile you're now you're really stuck in a hole because you can't even train to get good at anything to render your services and make a difference out of yourself the whole time you're being sponsored anyway lady will be sponsored for services that are your pleasure to give now you're not quite ready to render services take money to train to be ready to give services the whole point is making a difference out of your life they visit you having shared the oxygen of the planet should have meant something should have made a difference for somebody in this world people will pay you for that later but if you need to train in that so happily and with pride be happy to have people invest in you and stop playing the poor card and why you can't do any of the opportunities that are out there take every opportunity you got and put your name on the dotted line commit to it the money will be there one way or another the money will be there you'll have divine assistance because God favors committed people now I put this on the board a few times but I'll do it once more just to really break this down into its it's real part is that those people who don't get anywhere live in a world that's called decide but there's a whole other world that you think you're in but you're not which is called commit there's will decide the world called commit the reason I put them in a Venn diagram is because when you decide you thought you committed but you didn't you're still in decision mode and what's the proof the proof is is that the way you get to any decision is based on reasons you can't make a decision without reasons reasons lead to decisions the word decide it has the root side in it because it means to eliminate pesticide right homicide genocide suicide those are those who have elimination in it why because you based on reasons for and against the options you eliminate options and then no no reasons to commit whatsoever you need to get to decide because then once you've made your decision based on reasons because you can't make it without reasons the problem as many of you think you already committed when you're actually still in decision mode and what's the proof is that the reasons you decided are gone and then you're out of there or new reasons came up to do something else and you're out of there again which means there's nothing to rely on your your your like the weather you know it's one day it's hot one day it's cold isn't there no way to know you're committed to anything and here's most important as god doesn't know you're committed to anything or he knows you're not actually God knows you're not committed to anything and therefore why back you why back you when you could back out why back you when you might back out and there's always reasons there's always reason because when the tough gets done when the tough gets going yeah when the going gets tough you get out think about it every one of you when the tough get with it when the going gets tough you get out every time the going gets tough you're out and if you smoke grass you smoke weed you're like times a thousand okay I just wasn't expecting that but anyway but apparently everything's growing in popularity these days but they but when the when when the going gets tough you get out why do you get out because reasons have come up in such a way that you're out you quit every time and people are doing this like people think they put a ring on someone's finger or got a ring they think they're committed you think you're committed you think you've moved over to commitment you think you went yeah you decided on that person to that the most pros the least cons intuition was buzzing and you committed you think you're committed well let's see how you treat that person when you're feeling insecure let's see how you treat that person when they come home late let's see how you treat that person when they forget to call let's see how you treat that person when when you're in a low mood how committed are you really and are you really that committed to your own parents how long you stay on your phone with your mother when she calls you randomly with unsolicited advice she makes you feel like you're nine you stay on the phone with the person makes you feel like you're nine or do they always call it the wrong time how long you spend on the phone with your father with all his unsolicited advice when you feel like you're not you can never call the right time it's always the wrong time when your father calls every time your father calls it's the wrong time so you'd think you're committed those people but you're really in decision mode because you let reasons stop you all the time in every single way now how does the flowchart work you go from reasons to decisions from decisions you go to what commitments once you're in commitment mode is there anything underneath there I wouldn't try the Spanish word nada try nada not it was not a mean nothing there's nothing under there these are the words these are the famous words that people love to use these days I'm what I'm in those are the famous words I'm in the other words I'm in never use those words by the way if you're not in when you say you're eating for something I don't care if your bus gets a flat tire I don't care if they close the roads because of snow just show up because you said you're in you show up no matter what become that person become the pine kind of person that when she or he says I'm in that people can count on that and you will never lack anything in your life you will always have what's called LSD which stands for large sea at the dish Maya you will always have large sea otter - Maya which means that God is going to back you because he knows you don't back out God will back you cuz he knows you don't back out once you use those words I'm in once you get committed to something you're in no matter what you start getting wind in your sails things start working out you start living a successful life because you're committed to something when you live committed to something there's a difference you make when you're in decision mode you make no difference because we can't count on you making that difference and therefore you're not the kind of person anyone expects anything out of and that's not a very healthy either because obviously you won't want to be self-generated but you can't be self-generative every day we all have ups and downs so when you're when you're in a non self-generated day everyone else is gonna generate you because they know you make a difference you're someone who commits to things so that even on a day where you can't really do much from within everyone will create it for you from without because you're known already as someone who's a committed type of person when you say you're in you're in hi ladies there's two seats right here you can even put them together if you want oh you're from that last group I've just taught alright there's a group of women over there okay now I think I've made my point enough clear here large yet the dish Maya comes to people who are committed people people are in let's practice it in a song everyone try the words I mean I mean ready so it goes like that ever try think of something you're in for I don't know Judaism no I'm ok you got it so but you want to think about your life like what are you really in for it and if you're not in get in meaning meaning figure out what you got to do to get it there's I know people who are not in in their Judaism but every time I speak to them privately for 15 minutes it comes all too clear that they're missing major major like giant areas of information they're just missing a lot they were raised observant and like stuff went wrong here there and everywhere and they had no one to blame but God and so they're out but they're just missing major parts of understanding of things maybe then we realize that your belief in God counts I'm gonna say something very deep right now ready for this ladies ready for this deep one your belief in God your belief in God revolves or know the foundations of your true belief in God as an adult requires that you suffering you believe in God as an adult requires that you suffer because only someone who suffers starts asking important questions I've met so many kids who were protected by their parents so intensely usually in the more 480 circles they were so protected by their parents so overprotected supposed to the Hasidic European ones post-war Europeans so now their kids are like teens and stuff and young 20s I know kids who are so overprotected that there have almost no belief in God because they never got hurt they never they never got they never touched the edge of life that all the questions start coming - you need to touch something and it needs to touch you back with a fist meaning you got it you got to push some limit in a way that you get punched and then you start to understand a little bit of where you live and you can start asking important questions cuz you're suffering you know black guy from I don't mean literally a black guy know what you can punch - I bless you all not to get friends especially with poram coming we're getting punched increases the chance of getting punched increases by like like 300% but the but I bless you and I bless you no altercation whatsoever I'm four should just be only joy peace and love so the guys I have a I have a tradition of punching somebody meaning like really taking somebody down to the ground every third part every third perm but I think God I broke it after nine years last year was my third poor my kids were just watching me the entire time and they're just watching the party and watching people coming in and out and they're just my kids are like taking bets on who I'm probably gonna take out this year and and and of course I'm the last guy you would think could take anybody out but I grew up in my school there you had to fight to live every day and so like you can't see any more kids it's kids got a little older but all my years you just looking my knuckles and see teeth marks like like if you can see that little one that's teeth it my old my ol knuckles are just different people's teeth from years of missing their nose and and yeah so anyway I have to take someone down every three years but now I'm done now it's all just peace and love no we're taking people down please God I don't want it taken my dad but but you realize how important when people been drinking there's zero tolerance for what I'm not sure no the anyway but this this place of being in that's where the power is you got it but you got to suffer a little to get in to get in you got to suffer a little cuz what happens if all you people who had your nose white for you since you're a little kid you you it's really hard to commit to anything because you just even though the slightest suffering you're already running the other way and you don't know you don't know how to stick to something without when you commit something it's because it's fraught with danger and the funny thing is is that all of you are gonna get married hopefully in the next year isn't soon inured you're gonna be in the suffering so badly because part of marriage is tremendous suffering and that's why you have to be in wedlock or you'd be out notice um I'll give you an easy proof but I don't think we have anyone raised secular in this room anyone here was raised segments no one hears we're saying we're at Efes like we've met you have you don't count you're like you're part of the furniture here anyone no one here was very second not one person you were a second sort of and doesn't count yeah but your family made Shabbos and everything yeah hey we finally made it like instead of instead of 98% of the class being raised observant now it's a hundred percent oh he was definitely raised observed with this guy forget it and you missed the yellow steep part that was part of the class so you were the one with the comment right yes yeah you had a question but the money isn't enough you'll get your services why did everything change with you getting money what change you need to do some work on yourself yeah you gotta do some work on yourself and get your self-worth built up how much you pay you know move it to 100 you would you lose no you didn't you think that's what happened I'll tell you what happened what happened was someone started paying you for your worth not your intrinsic worth but the worth of your handiwork and if you start freaking you out because you have an issue with money and guess what so does everyone else in this room and none of us feel worth anything really and so you know how long it's taken me to feel worth the money that people pay me I know I can tell you I'm not there yet I'm still not there yet money and self-worth are so wrapped up you have no idea and especially in men it's totally then-white we all have our wires totally crossed and a lot of us are allergic to money a lot of us are allergic to money because because it's too painful to face the fact that so much of our worth is dependent upon money it hurts us so badly to think that society would evaluate us based on our earning ability or what we actually earn that we're gonna go allergic to money we're gonna pretend money doesn't matter we're gonna say Oh money doesn't matter for anything like this that's all weird all that changed was that she she opened up your your whole insecurity about your own worth that God opened up now and now you're stuck in some weird spiral there's nothing to it anything just get back to delivering services and do your own personal work on how you are worthy for who you are without any money but money is the measure from now on does it I'll give you all a new definition of money for the rest of your lives you don't have to so you can finally understand it money is merely the measure of the service you render it's nothing to do with you it's just the service you rendered is worth something that's it like pull the plug out of money stop making it so powerful and just take it out a little take the power cord out of the wall it has nothing to do with you it's just a man it's a measure it's an mirakl measure of goods which in this case might be money but it could be bartering I mean it could be all kinds of things but it's a numerical measure of a service you render and nothing more than that it's just the measure of the services welcome sorry to get so personal without you us being in the seminar contact normally I would never talk to somebody like that until he told me he was in and we're in the seminar but but I just I figured you could hack people who have the right context of it when they have the right context for money they just get right back up it's amazing I know people go bankrupt you can find thirty years later and they're just like they're like on food stamps and then I'll find someone else he went I know a guy went bankrupt five different times every time I'd call him I'd say you know I hope not every time one time I called him because I only met him after like the fourth bankruptcy and I said to him you know hi I've heard you went bankrupt so I just went to offer my you know a little comfort you know rapid glazier call him from Jerusalem that's guy in Toronto and like I hope you're doing okay and bouncing back and he's like that bankruptcy had nothing do with me and he's like what you think I invest my own money I'm an entrepreneur that was his answer that also immunity I'm an entrepreneur meaning I come up with business ideas I take people's money put him in the ideas something they win they and they lose like so far they lost he bent bank quit and then he started something else went bankrupt and then he started something else he did so well that he moved his entire family and built a home here and in Eretz Israel I'm not mentioning the city because I've said too much already so but he lives here inherits this role with his family Brooklyn chef and counts his money whereas I could literally split-screen it was someone went bankrupt and that was it because self-worth has everything to do with money I know another guy who owner you're crazy started is really crazy this was guy in his 60s who came to Israel on a trip in his 60s meets Reb North Weinberg of Asia toys that song in just oh sorry he goes bankrupt loses his money comes on a trip meets or of no Hawaiian bird and this guy's from a family that everything your entire worth is whatever your bank account says that's who you are like it's not just what you it's who you are and your worth is you're literally the the balance sheet the bottom line on the balance sheet is who you are and what your worth period like hardcore capitalists and generations of them and he goes bankrupt he loses everything but before the bankruptcy actually hit him he flew off to Israel for a trip meets her of North Hawaiian bird becomes observant new ball Shula sixty years old so everything was great like no bankruptcy because he suddenly got into God and Torah and and like started getting his act together and what is truly valuable right so he flies back to New York and now he's like gotta keep on his head he's got sit says just fill and he's dominant three times a day he's gonna minions he learned here for half a year gets back to New York and what happened was he was thinking hey you know I never went to university maybe I go to university now and he asked me that I would tell him absolutely do not go to new university - meaning go to university that's fine but don't study Jewish Studies I'm sorry I missed that part you anyway you said I'll go to university and study Jewish studies now that I'm so into Judaism if you're into Judaism where do you study Shiva he went to university what do they have in university and the Jewish Studies you have people called Bible critics you know Bible critics are Bible critics are people who try to figure out how we can prove that God did not write the Bible now how do you think a Bible critic does face to face with a rough multi [Music] mati burger how do you think a Bible could have does face-to-face with Monty burger how do you think he survives well or falls apart completely falls apart we've got to watch this in person many many years ago they last they know in the last five minutes again someone who knows his stuff how do you think how do you think I'm the biggest Bible critic here Hebrew University how long you think he would survive against rabbi moshe Zelman never hear Nick Meyer none at all and that's why it's very hard it was a miracle we got to see Reb Monty burger because they would do everything in their power not to be in that confrontation because they would never stand a chance not even for a minute the very first thing that would come out of their mouths would be refuted in 30 different ways and then they would leave a laughingstock but this six year old me and went and did it he didn't ask me he flew to New York went back to his life put his house up for sale because obviously couldn't afford this house anymore and went to university now the people the university were telling him that man wrote the Torah man wrote the Bible with all their little proofs that hold no water man wrote the Bible and so what happens is he's there this guy was a major sports fanatic with like 50 yard lines of the New York where the football team of their Jets 50 line the Jets you know half court seven rows back at the Mets you know this guy's a fall sports fanatic with like a gigantic screen that's off every job is with the biggest games of the years playing y'all Monteux him with big games and he's like you imagine the reward he's getting to not turn on that screen because he only thinks sports day and night except once he started hearing from the professor's man wrote the Torah and then it was I don't know I was like the World Series I don't know what was going on it was a big game and he put the television on a timer I know he just kept it on all Shabbos turned off the volume but it was a slippery slope and he finally fell all the way fell all the way now here's the part of the story that you probably totally forgot we were talking about there was a tidal wave like 300 feet high called bankruptcy when you think money is what you're worth think about the families from money's what you're worth he was able to push that water back for a good year and a half and he all you want to do is watch a game and he let the professors in the university get that TV slowly turned on until he was already with the remote control in his hand flipping around two games driving out apologizing cuz his wife did Chuba to apologizing to his wife listen you know I can't be at the Shabbos meal because such-and-such a game now she's alone to this day they're in their nether in their 80s she's still alone on Shabbos and and he's at this game in that game the other game and what he didn't realize was there was a 300-foot tidal wave waiting in the second he it didn't take literally more than a month of stopping to keep Chavez that veg gigantic wave of transgenerational capitalism of like you're worth your money your money is your worth just goes like oh and just destroys him for the next 40 years heard sorry he was 16 now he's nine something 90 I guess he's turning 90 this year so how many years thirty years for next 30 years he gets taken down but like taking down bad it was amazing how Judaism held that wave up for a year and a half and it would have kept going would have kept going because he was just learning more tour and learning more Torah anymore Torah but then it's a disaster story but it's a big lesson for us is you got to get yourself worked out on what money is it's the measurement of one's services as rendered in the eyes of others it's in the eyes of others okay what can you do about that I mean they're the ones given the money so that's gonna be in their eyes and it's but your actual worth comes from the soul it comes from your the fact that you're created an image of God and this is why the seminar work that I do with people which this is a little excerpt from it this is just to get everyone like finally committed so we can actually grow together cuz you can't do a seminar on that level without full commitment people have to be in no matter what I can't have someone leaving in the middle we once had again Toronto leave in the middle he didn't realize that that wasn't gonna be very effective so he so we get in there and we're all together and you know I got three big whiteboards in the room set up and and and we're sitting there and I'm I'm like I feel like someone's missing and it turns out a guy decided to run we had a runner it's called a runner so we had a runner like hmm and it was looking like what are we gonna do cuz we're fully committed so it turned out his wife was simultaneously doing the seminar in the daytime this was night the men were at night the moon right day called his wife she said I tried he's not coming he's like sitting in our living room you know like learning commission and I'm like I'm like okay I hang up the phone I got her address hang up the phone I said okay everybody in the cars we took the boards we threw all the boards in the car and all the equipment and we everyone jumped in in their cars we drove over 40 minutes we managed to pick up some beers and Chinese on the way and a little longer in 40 minutes gonna be had to pick up beer in Chinese and Andy and we drove across town and we're all lined up coming down his stairs like to the street and you know where all our black hats and coats because there were several of us were you know black hat wears and it's supposed to the front guys so I knock on the door and he comes to his door and he sees that it on the top it had an arched window a little above he sees like all these hats so he's like I've never had this many snores at once he thinks it's fundraisers from you know Israel coming so he's like I've never had this many snores before and he opens the door he sees me and the whole seminar behind me and we all just walk we didn't say anything I just walked right by I didn't ask if I can come in he said he's in I'm in he told the room he told us he was in if he said he's in I'm in I don't care if we're gonna end it one in the morning because we had to take an extra hour to get there and also the whole group was in no one even bat an eyelash no one said hey why should we drive 40 minutes extra and 40 minutes back later for a guy who didn't even really commit to all of us I said because you said you're in and when you're in we're all in and let's go prove to a guy that we're in for him by the time we were all sitting in his living room we had to bring chairs from everywhere we had chairs from his kitchen we had like beanbags we had we had his living room couches like we're all set up in his in his living room boards are set up by the time we were all set up he was he burst out crying because his breakthrough was that no one was ever in for him no one was ever in in his life and he got the breakthrough of what it's like to be to have people actually commit to him and be in there for him no matter what that was his breakthrough for the seminar is cuz his story was I'm I'm not important that was his deep story that was the narrative of his life where he literally lived his whole life seeing through the eyes of I don't matter and all of a sudden for the first time he saw how much he mattered it was a powerful powerful moment you know since we're on the subject I run ER like once a year and it's always super powerful like it's always like I know when there's a runner like we're about to have like the most powerful seminar ever cuz we're not gonna go on we don't go on without it's just the rule we're not going on without and so I made the mistake of running this I mean no offense if you're from LA listening to this but I made the mistake of running the seminar once in Los Angeles yeah I can tell you a little rule of thumb in Los Angeles you can find this by the way on the web under the personality disorder called narcissist so I ran the seminar in LA and and so I'll just tell you the rule of thumb instead of the fancy word narcissist the way the rule in LA is you only do what feels good you only do what feels good I know that's also in the Webster's dictionary under the definition of of children cuz think about it what's what are your lives everybody how do you how do you how can you categorize your life you do stuff that feels good you know stuff that doesn't feel good and that's how you get somewhere the stuff that feels good I suggest creating us a reward for the stuff that doesn't feel good create the stuff that feels good as your reward for all the stuff you have to do that doesn't feel good but if you ever want to make anything of yourself you better get used to stuff that doesn't feel good but here I was running my seminar which does not feel good it's very difficult it's painful week here I was running in LA like I don't know how I got convinced but I guess I had left Ellie so many years prior that I forgot about this whole issue guess how many runners I had out of 30 people I had five runners out of 30 yeah I'm lucky to get a runner a year out of like hundreds of part is not a runner a year 30 people have five runners and guess what if you're a runner you better have a damn good reason to why you're running cuz I'm gonna beat it no matter how good it is I will win the conversation guess what all five had the same exact reason why they ran your anyway it's crazy that they all five said this I literally was gonna like I was gonna fly out in the middle December except I wasn't when I heard all their reason all five people the same reason it was all different times during the week but you know what the reason was I don't want him one of the women was like 32 and single and I was like so when you get married you and have a diaper to change but you don't want to or you're going to labor and but you don't want two cars out of gas but you don't want to got an important appointment at 9:00 in the morning even want I mean you imagine what your life would look like if you only did what you wanted yeah what would your life look like you'd have a lame life and you'd feel dead inside it's been the majority your income on therapy now the why am I talking about that and the overtime of runners yeah sorry I'm off on a tangent is it after for Rama yeah let people sponsor you the people develop you take money with pride take money with pride when you're young if it builds you and when you have money when you're older and you have money build others with your money it's our pleasure to give the services we render our our pleasure the fact that you get paid is merely a measure of what someone else saw it's worth you have complaints about the money you're making focus on the service see if you can somehow optimize your service in a way that people would give more for it push your limits into the world of suffering a bit so that the world pushes back a bit so that you get a sense of who God is because it's gonna make you have to ask the important questions why you're going through what you're going through as you ask those questions you come to amazing amazing discoveries and you're Emunah and Hashem gets finally filled in with real answers about life and about God and how God interacts with us also become knowledgeable and Judaism such that you're not in doubt all the time and feeling the struggle of even keeping basic Jewish tradition you shouldn't have to struggle that you can study spend time studying so that the basics are in your back pocket and be committed in your lives if you want to see large see out the dish Maya in your life if you want to get real seeds try if you want God to blow his divine wind into your sails put your whole being into stuff when you're in you're in all the way go all the way with things and you'll see that you'll live a very very successful life may you be blessed [Music]