Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser: How to Deal with Moods

Shalom and welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount and please join my club yom tov media club.com please go online and join that club let's get the word out there so today we're gonna talk a little bit about moods which is kind of funny cuz I almost never have a low mood and I kind of had a little mood yesterday which is rare for me and I don't think it was a true low mood but it was something definitely within the realm of a low mood certainly had all the symptoms so what we're gonna do is talk about moods moods are really important because you're the quality of your day is gonna come out based on the mood doesn't matter like you can have the best things happen you in a low mood is not gonna mean much and in a great mood you could have you know sad things happen you and you just totally miss that as well so moods are moods are really really a big big part of how life comes out and therefore we need a little bit of mastery when it comes to moods and how to deal with them and obviously the most important thing is going to be to identify movies there's other important things like for example stay maintaining high moods how do you maintain a high mood I'll give you a couple secrets to that and and also once you're in a low mood if low moods locked in well how do you deal with the rest of that day and maybe even date so how you can deal with that but the most important thing to know about moods is that whenever you're in a low mood it's a important thing that you do not try to solve any problems in a low mood okay you have what's called an nad nad stands for non analysis day because moods have a big impact on your thinking and when you're in a low mood you are in a non resource day your job that day is to just get through it distract yourself do what you got to do listen to some music go do some sports I mean I can tell you you know while we're at it I'll tell you a couple things that do in a low mood day yeah that was that will never happen to anybody who learns what I just taught you meaning once you know about na DS what's an nad stand for non analysis day once you learn about na DS you never ever will have a low mood for more than a day or two you'd be shocked you know 97% of people who deal with depression just don't understand low moods and they try to analyze their problems and so it keeps them a little bit I'll show you it on a graphic so if moods go up and down as they do you know moods are like this up and down and when happens is in a low mood that's called this a low mood here so in a low mood what happens is analytical people they try to and especially these white Jews also make up over 40% of depressed people in the world is all because of our special thing we have you know what's the special thing we have everyone says we're very what and a little until they say we're smart but that's not the right word because I know people who their smarts is just with a drill or a hammer or nailer I know other people's smarts is in the dancing like they just they just got some kind of amazing instinctual brilliance with dancing and no other people with a paintbrush got brilliance so a lot of different brilliance the Jewish brilliance is in an analysis analysis is our brilliance we're really good at solving problems and and creating you think about like you know the stock exchange and the hedge funds and all the leveraging of real estate and everything that's always Jews back there making our house worth nothing in a day you know so we're good at analyzing things and what happens though when you're analyzing yourself you know in a low mood are you in a high resource state or a low resource State you know low mood you're in a very low resource state so you try to solve a problem let's say because that's what we do in low moods we try to solve our problems now when you try to solve a problem in low mood it has babies and so your one problem now became three and what's it what's the average you're gonna do now that he has three problems to solve what's it gonna do it's gonna try to solve three problems gonna have nine your problems are having are being fruitful and multiplying and this is all low mood stuff you all know what I'm talking about you get in that low mood you're like a bull in a china store and you just break everything and you you just you'll you'll like you literally like let everything be ruined you know at the end of my day yesterday my wife came in the house and she she came to our room and I was laying there just going like leave me alone and and she was like she want to bring up several things that need like fixing in life and I was like I mean you could tell me that our house is gonna get flattened in 30 seconds and I'll just say please bring me a helmet you know like like I'll just I'm just gonna sit here and die you know like like this is no I mean a lawn resource state and I will not be solving any of our issues right now like that's just not gonna be going on right now so someone in a low mood has what's called a non analysis day okay none analysis day and what happens is when you're in low mood what you'll notice is if you try to analyze your thoughts in a low mood you'll wind up here which is called analysis paralysis this is the this is all those depressed Jews out there and then they just don't stop analyzing all their problems and they of course they're there in a non resource state because once you're stuck in analysis paralysis it's gonna be really bad news and and a low mood over time what's that called depression depression is just a low mood over time is a low mood depression not at all moments just low mood it's like you know everything works vibration even dogs have looks like everything my voice right now is crossing the room in oscillating vibrations everything works that way and so do we we each have our own vibrational energy sometimes it's very high and it comes with very resourceful thinking sometimes it's very low and it comes with non resource think those are days where it's more contractive whereas there's more expansive days God knows what he's doing with moods but when it happens unfortunately as so many people get stuck in this low mood day and they miss all the up swings they would have gone right up had they just had what's called the non analysis there you didn't know analysis that you literally do not analyze your moods that's the most important thing in a low mood is to not analyze problems do not deal with any problems in a limit is most important thing and what you'll discover is within 24 hours you'll be feeling fine and you'll be shocked and you're gonna want to give me a big hug you just a rabid Glaser you saved my life cuz I've had my low moods were a lot longer than one day and ever since you taught me about non analysis days I'm fine and I and I it takes one to know when I was this guy this was me I'm a highly analytical person and I destroyed myself with that analysis I mean I was I put myself as the target and I just shot arrows at myself all day trying to constantly fix stuff that I was not in the right resource state to be fixing I had no business trying to fix him my life up and so I had my nan and I remember my very first knot analysis day it was it was 26 years ago something like that and I'm someone who I would go into depression for like months months six months eight months I was I would have one most depressed guy at age award when I was in buffer I'm not as really chronically depressed and as soon as I learned about na DS having an on analysis day that was the last time I was depressed in 26 years and I went to I mean I went to everybody every therapist every rabbi I got brothers II prayed at the tombs I like I did everything you gotta do you know they anything you can do against depression I tried it nothing worked cuz my my search engine my analysis brain is crazy strong it's a power I have a powerful Google search in my brain and I but unfortunately I did all the clicking against myself on my search engine and and wound up really dealing with depression for years but I got out of it brother Jim through the na DS I remember that day like people coming up to him when you're depressed everyone thinks they're your therapist so they walk up to they're like how are you nothing they're listening but everyone's your therapist how are you today you're just like get out of my face so people walking up to me my that day and then they're like how are you and I said don't know like what do you mean you don't know I don't know I keep I mean you Shiva in your she be alert and Gamora I'm gonna go open my Gamora and learn one day later I was fine and I've been fine for 26 years it's crazy like it was that simple and and thank god I've been able to help a lot of people with that but just to let you know since you do got to get through that day it's gonna be a rough day cuz every thought you're gonna have is on a low mood day is gonna be pretty harsh so just to get through the day I got a couple things you can do and one of them is to well I'll give you a bunch of things and one of them is that you're all those thoughts you're gonna have all day in a low mood day those nasty thoughts you're gonna have a couple thousand an hour so it's not gonna be an easy day because we all think thousands of thoughts an hour it's involuntary you know unless you're a meditator you're probably thinking involuntary and most of the day most of the content is pretty involuntary so so just like your heart beats and your lungs breathe your brain thinks so let's all let's do in a little exercise I'm gonna take your right hand raise your right hand okay we're gonna say hi to our heart say hi heart want to say hi heart hi lungs hi thoughts not say no not not going there let's try it again hi heart hi lungs hi thoughts not not going there okay you know your thoughts in a low mood day are just a train going to a bad neighborhood man okay you know where that trains going and I mean I imagine when you go to a subway system in LA or I'm sorry in New York or you're up I imagine you actually look at the sign to see where the trains going before you get on yet how many of us get on trains of thoughts that are leaving two really bad neighborhoods and and we're just we just jump right on that train don't we so you don't get on those trains of thoughts in a low mood you better be very careful with those trains so you just let that thought coming go that's where we're gonna do our next one and you guys ever looked at a internet site that has the news and they have the breaking news moving by it moves by it's on us it's called a scrolling marquee just kind of scrolling by and and it's just a headline you can click on it or you can just let it scroll by tell me in a low mood should you be clicking on your thoughts or should you let them scroll by I'll let them scroll by okay I'm gonna take your right hand up okay move it to your left side of your forehead it out in front and go my thoughts are a scrolling marquee we knew that two more times again my thoughts are a scrolling marquee one more time my thoughts are scrolling marquee now I imagine I mean you do see headlines sometimes where it's like what you know but most of the time you're just like you know like what high school was shot up now you know like next so you mean we're pretty we're pretty calloused we're pretty calloused when it comes to headlines you know they don't touch us much we've we get pretty cold-blooded when it comes to headlines so I'm asking you to get a little more cold-blooded with your scrolling marquee when you're in a low mood is just let it scroll by you're not clicking on any of those headlines I'm not going for the full analysis of that story for sure that's just a headline it's gonna scroll by moving on to my next horrible thoughts now now the in a low mood there's other things you can do and one thing is alcohol drink alcohol in a low mood not more than wondering meaning one glass of wine or one 12-ounce beer one shot of whiskey or so whatever your favorite high alcohol forty percent alcohol is so but definitely drink you want to start playing with your mind a bit and alcohol does affect the brain so so definitely have a shot or won the equivalent of one drink also when you have your coffee that morning you want to have a stronger coffee so go for like double coffee is a mood enhancer so you want to double up on coffee for your morning coffee those who are addicted to coffee I don't know what to say to you but I'm them at the people who just go for the fog lift her in the morning and you should know the fog lifts her people they know how to appreciate coffee because once you drink more than one cup of day it doesn't lift the fog the same way that rhymed once you drink more than one cup of day it does not lift the fog the same way but but those who have got it nailed down to that one fog lifter in the morning it's amazing and and try to have it as close to prayer as possible basically coffee bathroom prayer okay it is a laxative so and you're supposed to pray with a clean body so it's a coffee bathroom laxative I just add one more thing because I'm Hasidic - coffee mikvah bathroom pray and there's nothing like a pool of hot water in the morning and I do my stretching and yoga push-ups and everything yeah it kind of raises some people's eyebrows but but I live in a small community and everyone's gotten used to it more or less that that I'll be doing all my exercises in there I wrap a towel around me so it's not like I'm doing naked exercise wrap the towel around my waist what's amazing is I'm dry by the time I'm done and I didn't the towels dried - meaning I just wrapped around my waist and by the time I'm done with my exercises I'm dry towels dry everything's great so I'd never even have to use the towel which is fabulous for my wife and laundry not that men can't do laundry it's just this man doesn't and it's not that I wouldn't I would it's just she just beats me each time to the to the laundry machine I'm not sad I'm not I'm not agent do laundry but I do love service like I love doing a service at the house and it's obviously very special when I do and it makes my wife feel loved because her language of love is service mine's word so feel free to give me any positive feedback it's coming to you imagine though what a mist that is my wife says service and mines words so it's like so I'm walking in and tell her I love her well she's got three sinks full of dishes she's like well then why aren't you rolling up your sleeves and I like get busy and and then I leave the room going like I said I love you like that was not very fulfilling you know and and that and then of course she's like you know my kids are all eating on like disposables macaroni and cheese and I've got like three types of meat you know like on China with like crystal crystal wine glass and silver on a Tuesday night you know and and she's because she's service and that's her language of love and I'm just like I look over at her I'm like you realize some people in our community didn't even have chicken my Chavez this is this is insensitive and my daughter's like my wife's like and I'm like did I say something this is why the five languages of love is like such a game-changer for marriage cuz now I give my wife service and she actually says I love you yeah which is amazing she says the words I do the service and and and now I get the service too cuz now when she serves me those meals which is every night the now and she serves me those meals I'm realizing what she's trying to say my father's also service his his unsolicited financial advice now if you don't know it's his language of love you feel like you're nine years old now how long do you spend on the phone with somebody makes you feel like you're nine so I literally got off the phone with him within ten seconds for twenty years straight until I finally realized this is his language of love he loves me you know my father called you about your finances he doesn't love you yeah he's called me and the reason is cuz he loves me and I finally got that and finally stayed on the phone with him okay I put the phone a few inches away you know I never know what he's talking about you know if I you're a financial guy I wouldn't have an Arab ah so anyway the and things to do so we mentioned alcohol mentioned caffeine another thing is YouTube just kidding be careful with YouTube in loanwords you know I mean you could just turn it on and have that you know where it just keeps playing the next video and and just like died there so anyway but what you do want to do is something you'd never want to do in a long wooden that is cardiovascular sports you must sweat you must change your brain chemistry with some see yeah you got a sweat and which means you're gonna have to go run a treadmill or get on a bike or go swim you got to get your body moving and that's the last thing most people would want to do in a low mood people get very lethargic in a low mood but you force yourself I have I forced myself I mean I in my sports mountain biking and surfing so servings a house I gotta go drive down there and stuff and but let's say there's no surf so I found myself like literally pulling on hi We're full body army I find myself like forcing myself to just get my kneepads on and and cuz I don't want to ride I don't want to do anything in a low mood but I'm forcing myself and then getting out there and start pedaling and started sweating and start and you know when I come back better off and be in the end yeah it could it could it could each actually save someone from a low mood but it's also just good thing to do to break it up it could break it up by the next day you're fine I can imagine you being a mean kickboxer what's that yeah yeah yeah it could shift your mood for sure letting off steam also especially with boxing kicking do you put pictures of people you don't like yeah I was kidding and the answer is yes so anyway hey there's an interesting class today you have something like say oh that's hard that's harsh so that's a good question if you're not self-aware enough that you don't even know you're in your low moods so what would help is being married because they'll tell you no I mean you got to let them know that you want them to tell you but you got to let them know like he's like I'm not aware enough to know when I'm going down that you know down that hole and what's that yeah sure yeah a hungry man is an angry man hungry man is an angry man always feed your husband and while we're on that subject it's really important ladies who are listening men just plug your ears for a second it's really important ladies that when you're upset with your man you never let him know that until he's had something to eat and never let your man know what you what's bothering you about him until he's eaten something and the beauty of that is that is that he'll be you'll probably have a lot more wisdom when you finally tell him what's upsetting you by having given a little pause to letting him know that until he's eaten into something but there's the other way I say it is instead of in the eating thing is to say never give it to your husband meaning don't don't get mad at him or tell him what's upsetting you never get mad at your husband at the threshold of your door meaning don't tell him when he walks in the door and so by the time he's relaxed feel safe because men don't feel safe out there why do you think we go out there why do men leave the house to go out there because we're trying to make it safe how do you make it safe how are we supposed to make the world safe out there the answer is by having a nice car you know Lexus you know or greater and so well 90% of people you're gonna pass don't have a Lexus you do you're safe okay now you're safe so men want to feel safe that you do not feel safe out there which is why we a constantly go out there because we're gonna go hunt for honor and then and then when they get home they're not that safe yet because you're dangerous and and so let them feel safe and you'll and if you let them eat something first and relax you'll have a lot more wisdom of how you'll share such that he will probably not get defensive if he doesn't get defensive you actually may be effective in your communication and something he may actually change and so but but coming after a man at the doorway of the house is not the way to go if if he came late he's gonna be later tomorrow okay so don't don't make coming home scary now okay well she was first yeah sure for sure yeah that's doing doing things you enjoy big-time music we mentioned before you're allowed to listen to music on sphere if you're depressed I mean if you're low mood yeah there's no mitzvah to be depressed so if MOOC music would get you out of it you should wear it on do it on a headphone though don't take out a giant ghetto blaster what's that oh no no one no mood days probably okay too cuz again the whole prohibition of music is is its making like weddings and parties and like celebrating is it four o'clock holy moly and everybody we have a lot more to Sam moods but we're not gonna say right now shallow shallow again please go online to yeoman till media Club comm let's get this out there to as many people as we can join the club