Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser: Lost In Prayer 9/2/18

Shalom and welcome to practical spirituality here at Asia tour and tonight also there's gonna be a live webinar and you can go on my website ravi yom tov calm and tuned in to that we did we just did a series of four live webinars for people overseas and and this is tonight's the last installment what people can people and just purchase one and next week I'll be doing a free live webinar in honor of people who missed or had some technical difficulty over the other live webinars so we're doing you know in their honor we're gonna do a live webinar right before Yom Kippur for people living overseas anyone can tune in and join that you just we just have to send you the you know the link how to get in so you can do all that on rabbahum TOCOM or support at rabbi intercom send an email okay gang so today our class is called lost in prayer and i like that term because it's kind of got a double thing and one is to be have your ego lost while praying which is really cool meaning you have your sense of self no longer in the equation and you're just in prayer the sense of self is lost in prayer and you're you're in that meditation state which is really what prayer is prayer is really meditation and not too often we get lost in prayer because we all have wants needs desires like we have things we want and so we wind up very much in touch with self with prayer which is fine part of prayer is throwing your stuff on God and asking God to fulfill it so that's that's cool but there's also being lost in prayer where you can have no needs meaning I'm okay not that I'm don't have knees I have needs but I'm there's no me anymore there's just prayer I'm just in I'm in a state of prayer I mean a prayer in in I'm in a state of communion I'm at one with God which is kind of cool cuz the word atonement yom kippur you're looking we're 2-tone meant the day of atonement I've told him it is spelled like this I at one mint is atonement so we're really coming back to that state of being at one and you could say that sinning you know that was what we're doing you know when we transgress were be it's really being more of you when you transgress if you sin think about it if you're like first of all there's people don't know what they're doing is that I wouldn't even call that really sinning you know like if there's some Jew having a double bacon cheeseburger right now in Louisiana you know like but the guy doesn't know his ass from his elbow you know so I don't know if he's really sinning you know because he doesn't know what he's doing but when the when there's a person who's who's who's actually doing the wrong things and knows they're doing the wrong things we'll think about that think about that you can't have a bigger ego cuz here I'm saying I know there's a god and I know God isn't will I also got a will well that's it kind of a ballooned ego right cuz because what are you know better than God you think God doesn't know you have that will the only reason the guy gave you a commandment not to do this cuz he knew you'd have a will to do it and he's telling you not to but the ego puffs up and says well I want to do it anyway it's my will and so that's why you can't really sin without having a major like egomaniac moment you have to have an egomaniac moment to sin and and you think if you think about Russia China that's just gonna his like it's like a shredder you know it's like a document shredder and you're the document you know how you're supposed to survive that day in shul without getting completely shredded you know like it just it really reduces your resolve I mean first of all it's like any cold you know you're sleep deprivation going on we say sleep less the night before from like midnight to like 3:00 in the morning or a lot of people started like 4:00 in the morning you haven't even slept then there's many people fast before you know you're really ideally supposed to fast before midday so you didn't even get any nutrients so you're sleep-deprived now you're fasting until about noon and so like you know this is exactly cult tactics in Judaism set up for you to like have no more resolve then you finally get into synagogue and it's like slow really slow and it's really long and all you're doing the whole entire time is just basically saying a vinum okay no our Father our King you know you're just kinda like our father our King father our King you know you're just like totally brainwashed IV in the versus Shevin which if there is truly a god and he's truly the king and we were supposed to be doing as well is an amazing thing so it's it's really wonderful to be you know putting that kind of trance but it certainly leaves you in a trance and the and it's also I'm just gonna warn beginners that you should take lots of walks throughout the day like I remember one of my most important moments in Russia shona like a pivotal moment of my life in the restoration of service was not in synagogue it was out in the Jewish quarter or like walking around with some long haired dude I was that long-haired we were both walking around and he we've been together learning here for a couple weeks and he said to me I said to him so you gonna stay like in those days people would like actually staying like you'd stay and learn you know like it was back when when like discovering whether there was meaning in life was something that made a difference Peter wasn't just something you do for an hour on YouTube but it was like it was like you actually would figure out if there's meaning life and if there was you'd like align your life with that meaning q Majan like how crazy would work we would actually think that you should align yourself with me so so that's where that was Boz honor of the time I mean everyone like you could have been the biggest dumbbell or you could have been a total like I mean just the most irreverent guy ever but you saw the disk of the likes exploration here as am i aligning my life with this or am I not which today no one even looks at it like that someone just sent me an email recently it was a guy who was here you're amazing guy just amazing a brilliant guy in a doctorate program like in university a really special and also quite a good hippie psycho nodded as well and notice psychonaut is you know an astronaut is psycho nuts does that but on psychedelics so this particularly super high IQ guy was also into psychedelics so it was an impressive guy in every in every way and and he you know graduate studies I'm not mentioning the program he was in because I stole trying to protect his protect his you know private life a little bit on live feed you know anyway he's probably watching this but the this one who watched for his video so anyway so he just sent me on whatsapp recently saying like you know I'm ready to come back and then I'm you know I'm thinking old school I'm like oh amazing you know he finally realized like this is the lifestyle and he's like he's like nothing to do with Judaism you know it's just the pursuit of truth just okay mr. millennia anyway nice lady in the way back do you mind just sliding your over just a tad that way this way a bit thank you you did it perfect okay now so I saw him walking in this dude in the old city during Russian and when we just couldn't take it anymore so we just took a walk and I said to him are you gonna stay and he's like yeah and he's like are you gonna stay and I'm like yeah and then we both looked at each other like whoa like Avinu volcano that was our avinu volcano moment that was like our father our King like like he and I are both like we're athletes were you know or total experiential tripper types and we're like we're gonna align our lives with Tara mitzvos I'm gonna build Jewish families to make beautiful homes and so he I was always born to teach so I went on to become a rabbi and he went on to become a a doctor and I got married built a beautiful home I built a beautiful home here and but we were it was real like that moment a resident was like it was one of those this is forever moments and so so that that's really what we're after in like we want Russia Shana to be groundbreaking we want it to be you know we want it to be creating a fundamental shift in how we are how the rest of our lives are informed in our actions you know we want that kind of shift now the good news is is that Judaism can be expressed however you want yeah this guy's still along here trippy dude you know this is probably one of the funner pediatricians any kid ever had growing up and he skis so many days a year I mean well we were he's dated eight we were learning together but everyone so he'd like disappeared anyway and there was before cell phones I wouldn't know where it was they didn't come back all tan and stop yeah I went to the French Alps the skin skiing for ten days in the Alps I'm like we're in the middle of like yeshiva you know like we're studying kimura all day you know I can you just just spin when skiing is like what can I say I got a ski so everyone there's no way to do it like you just choose your way there's a million ways right now we have a guy at age who's you guys met le mayor le marry he's he's got like really good questions and gets really frustrated when I digressed - a million subjects which I finally explained to him today why I do that in this class and anyway so he's been asking all the rabbi's which what's the definition of Judaism and he says so far the number of answers he got is exactly the number of rabbi's he's asked and only you guys can truly appreciate the the rabbi's coming through here cuz like do I have anything in common with Ken spear like nothing nothing you know and just kids fear of anything come with rabbis l know and do any of us three have anything come as an echo minor not at all Andras that network or who's teaching today you know so and then and then there's God Friedman who's like you know like and he's his own species you know and you know we're the staff here it sounds like they're like we and we're just like you can't believe we're the same we're doing the same stuff every day is a mere it's okay now anyway but then there's the other aspect of being lost in prayer and that is meaning you don't know what in the world you're doing but yet you know that there's this prayer obligation oh it is a tour commandment there is a tour commandment to pray actually to call out to God and the details of that commandment are actually much simpler than we make it and the details are to once a day - to do three things praise requests and sorry praise requests and think praise requests and think that's all you got to do like like for example this young lady here did you pray today many chose no so you're ready to pray with me we're gonna pray together you're gonna fulfill your obligation ready say god you're awesome oh god yeah god you're awesome then say just tell me one thing you need like one thing in your life you could use and it helped me get something proper sleep thank you so much you did it and you just fulfilled your tour that's a tour commandment that every person must do there's a whole lot of discussion whether women are obligated to do it or not and certainly women pray a lot weren't met anyway but they but whether they're obligated to or not is a question just because it's a time bound positive commandment thou shalt pray every day well once you say the word day it's time that you're gonna pray every day that's time bound commandment and women are not obligated in time bound Commandments but there's others that say when it comes to prayer they are bound to pray but what they pray can be just simply three lines praise request and thanks sometimes my wife's like god you're amazing help me find Moishe sock thank you thank you for helping me plan what she saw she did she did her job and but what happened was that commandant Spencer got attacked by the rabbi's the rabbis went like you know when you click on something you got this like big long website so the rabbi's started clicking on that one and clicking and clicking and and they just like they went to town why why the rapids go to town on this one and the reason why is because these rabbis were super Kabbalistic expialidocious people and they were like they knew all kinds of cool stuff about the names of gun and like different worlds you could enter and like realms of spiritual planes that you can you can actually connect to and they knew all that stuff and they were doing it started off he was just being done by the Kohanim at the temple first temple there was no prayer meaning they did their thing these ceremonies and they were like super trippy cabbalistic realities going on in there and you could come and be part of it it was really freaky and then and then you could I mean like animal slaughter and like blood everywhere and like like incense like wafting through the air freaking everybody out and it was highly intoxicating the smells and the and not to mention the the song was like blow away live concert going on at all times you know this made Burning Man look like a Las Vegas show you know and in a hog deal and so anyway the Second Temple the rabbi's where we didn't have the same you know kind of amazing Kabbalistic stuff going on we still had the temple we were slaughtering the animals we were doing the mitzvahs that Kohanim do and also they were using a lot of these names of God and stuff but we didn't have that same kind of spiritual level and we all said they didn't even bring out the ark meaning meaning when they saw the majority of Jews didn't even bother to come back did you know that you know Second Temple the majority just didn't come there they're too busy enjoying their kosher restaurants you know in their you know Glatt mark kwok mark and and you know all the other kosher men and he's out there and they made a good life for themselves in those seventy years of Exile and do you mind switching seats to that see I'm just trying to see everybody without moving too much thank you so they were enjoying their exile lives I don't know you tell me how people can go from First Temple to exile lifestyle for seventy years and then like somehow miss coming back like how you missed that how'd they blow that one but they did and they didn't come back for the second temple sanctum was just like come punch people like tambourines dancing around and then after a while they were like where's everybody else you know they're like awkward everyone else is like busy pulling up their Lincoln Navigators to like Costco you know things are a lot more convenient out here I'll tell you that you know it's difficult over there in Israel so so you know what they didn't even bring out the art they left the ark and it's hiding the Ark's hidden underneath the Temple Mount and they're like we're not risking that like if we don't see the majority Jews here we're not bringing the art gala was I think it they kept it in and a bunch of other things didn't happen to cuz there's a lot of mitzvahs we only do it with the majority so like for example the sabbatical years those were out that's heavy stuff sabbatical don't mess with that but we we didn't do these special sabbatical years because the because we didn't have a majority of Jews in the wind so there are a lot a lot of really amazing Commandments we lost and we still did them like rabbinic Lee I think the rabbi said well we do it anyway but it wasn't the real deal what you mean well if it isn't the real deal we're not getting the real merit of it and next year no Romans come and wiped us out we had a Holocaust number two four hundred years later we just get slammed but it's interesting like I know we everyone likes to blame the way everyone behaved here because they were not behaving that well they were very observant but they were not behaving well towards each other in the Second Temple period and that meaning the Jews were not being such they were kind of being like they can be today you know they were like a little judgmental and you know mudslinging and so but we like to blame them who knows maybe the people to blame her the people didn't come back like whoa what do you want them to do the ones who came to Israel they didn't have they didn't have a lot of merit that comes with Commandments they that come with a majority you need a majority to do them and so we weren't able to do them and we weren't even able to bring out the ark so what come what kind of Yom Kippur service takes place without an ark you know like the Kohen Gadol for foreign something years is coming into the Holy of Holies every year and there's no ark so like what are you supposed to be doing with the his service there without the Ark and so anyway so what happens to the rabbits went a little wild on the prayer thing and they said second temper they're like well we still know all the Kabbalistic stuff so we're gonna create a Kabbalistic prayer service which is like you know real Temple of Doom super cool thing that like it's a cosmic thing but what happen was it gave once the temple was destroyed we would that we had that whole you know Roman Holocaust you know at the hands of the Europeans we we went to we went in exile and then next you know it's like synagogue Judaism it's like why don't you just kill me yeah synagogue Jew didn't that's like Church or something you know like nobody wants to go there at least the Christians they only go once a week we got three times a day they set it up three times a day it's like oh man what's that that's why like a lot of us rabbis here at age we do we do a lot of and we'll do meditation for an hour or two before we'll go to synagogue and I tend to do it after Nick America Nick Amira there was next rabbi he does it before and I think he's up to like two and a half hours now a day a meditation before even getting into the synagogue so so they cuz we know what they meant you know we we definitely know what they meant those rabbis but ever since then we've just been kind of trapped in the synagogue Judaism ever since ever since that movement this is why Hassidim have have turned the synagogue into a more experiential place because they just were I think they were just dying of boredom you know in long prayer services and stuff so they um and even non Hassidim added a lot of Ashkenazi non Hasidim added a lot of at least for the challah and the High Holidays they added a lot of but that secede him they like for example the the synagogue over my house is non Hasidic Ashkenazi non Hasidic very holy people up there but let's say the Shabbat prayers are about an hour and forty minutes with the whole car shut there are senators Hasidic synagogues in Jerusalem with the same amount of stuff you say that are that are four hours long I mean how do you say something that can be said in there in 40 minutes how do you stretch that more than double and the answer is is that they're there they're doing all kinds of other things during it to you know get the heart moving get the emotions get to get it experiential and so but because I think all of us have a ton to say in Russia Shawano so we're all going to be even Ashkenazi and put a lot of music to it and it's definitely we get the singing going then the non Hasidic people also will do quite a bit of singing and obviously the beginners service is gonna be singing of Ino you know which the most Ashkenazi schools kind of blow that off singing on video machina some do a lot don't okay um I'm taking a little pause for anyone who has to say anything at this point yes Hey you turn up the AC for a minute just the ambient noise is too much it's up above them appraised asked yeah so it turns out there's more than one commandment around this they there's there's a commandment of one in the 613 is to is to become one with God which is called give a quote like cleave to God so so and then the prayer one is to call to God in a time of need that's the commandment you understand like we're supposed to call to God when we need and we're supposed to focus on him to fulfill our needs and it doesn't mean you don't go to work like you can't just call to God to fulfill your bank accounts needs and then not work but you should pray for it first and then go then go work I think you got to do your part but you know I know a lot of people work don't get any money so they someone recently came to work on some of my house but it was a it was clearly a oh no no you know it was my iPhone died and this guy charges one hundred fifty shekels an hour for his work and so he worked on my phone for four hours that's a lot of money and and he failed yeah and then I signed a piece of paper then it's only 50 shekel you know just meaning for him to open my phone is 50 shekel so I said okay you know fine I signed it guess how much he made for four hours of work he made fifty shekels I offered him more he's like no it's my deal you know I said I'll give you more if you spend four hours on the thing trying to figure it out and he's like that's why I didn't succeed so thank God Apple gave me a new phone you know it's a miracle but so you you so work requires prayer how many people I know worked their tail off and went bankrupt lost everything so it's not enough to work you gotta pray and pray and then work any other any other people want to mention something yes ma'am sure you know and with shabbat is there's a separate theme on Shabbat this will answer your questions you'll remember this as a formula that then everything on Shabbat is perfect it's perfect that's why we do so much getting ready for it cuz cuz you not let us shift anything once you once that Sun hits the horizon the lights that are on Iran lights that are off for all the food that's good cos good food that's where all is raw and it's gonna be staying wrong understand it's perfect so when I ask for something even for my community you're allowed to ask community but when I ask for something it's a statement of imperfection there's something not right here and so we're supposed to have such a like a kind of a meditation on perfection on Shabbat that that we nothing even if you could be seriously lacking you're not to mention yourself on Shabbat now emergencies you're allowed emergencies are allowed like let's say you know let's say someone's an emergency surgery and it's Shabbat or they got hauled off to the hospital and an ambulance you first true praying for them because this is like unanimously not what needs to be gone what we at least think shouldn't be happening and so we pray for that person by the way this is all hinted at at the word tove laho don't last shim toe those turn those words Tove lo Hashem Tove lo Douglas shim means literally it's good to think of toe good to think but our rabbis teaches that when you click on the words Tove lo and o / M coz when do we say it means more sheer Leo Hushabye this is the song for the day of Shabbos Tove lo does Legend and good - thank God so so the rabbi's say that it's what's called is the term tactless I'm not you know the word Texas it's called tactless Latoya the epitome of good Shabbat so in other words it's not good it's good to thank God rather rather it's good like everything's really good right now no matter what it is it's good to hot tough luck you know like you forgot to turn on your AC it's good you're meant to be hot right now it's like you're in it the term is surrender you're surrendering to the perfection of what is because let's say you are sitting in a hot room which this room is gonna be real soon without the a/c on so let's say let's say it's hot here so is it exactly as hot as it is is this room exactly as how does this and is exactly it's not hot as exactly it's not hot yeah for sure right it's exactly as odd as it is it was exactly not as hot as it knew exactly not is exactly it's not that's a state of surrender it doesn't mean you can't get up and do something but on Shabbat you can't so so it's the ultimate good cuz whatever is is good cuz you can't do anything about it anyway so it's me it's like the ultimate good and therefore I don't pray as an individual on Shabbat any other randoms questions yes ma'am spiritual moving in Shabbat that's an excellent question I would guess you could yeah but it's a little different there there that's the point of all creation the whole point of you being here is the first perfecting yourself spiritually so it could be that just like Shabbos and the toddlers at oh well the Takas of your life like the epitome of your life is closeness with God and if you're lacking and that could be that that's okay I don't know that I can't really answer that question with authority any other random question per at this point okay now check this out I just drove antique Corvette in LA seatbelts like really old Corvette like the Stingray you know like the front was like ten feet long just that huge hood area how cool was that and my wife in the car I floored it yeah so so yeah you're allowed to what I do is if I want something that's a little extravagant like a Corvette so when I asked for it I say only if it's good for me heard that anything there yeah only if it's good for me I don't want if it's not gonna be good for me you got it okay now there's two types of Prayer when it comes to for her there's formal and there's informal formal is the stuff that the rabbi's did all that no embellishment on that Kabbalistic stuff in informal is prayer just between you and God so you want to do a lot of that so that when you get into them when you finally get into synagogue you finally get to shul and you're starting to do the formal stuff you've already got a relationship developed so that's your first piece of advice mr. Spencer okay so you want in relationship with God no how do you get a relationship with God through prayer is you talk to God in your own language and you can say whatever you want there's no rules you just talk to God and you may not have a ton to say and that's okay too it'll just be a shorter talk to God but but it's um it's something you want to do you want to get yourself in a place where there's no one around and just simply talk to God you can even go up to the roof of this building go into nature but start talking to God and some people like to talk to God before bed you know cuz people are asleep when you're alone let's say hopefully the roommates are asleep and you can just talk to God the in form of prayer is really important so that when it's finally time to pray you have a relationship with God that you're coming in with as opposed to just some formality you can join a scene I'm a con it's it's hot enough let's get let's surrender to some AC and an out formal prayer has therapist several subjects one is a his priorities and when I sue Priorities media's a big part of prayers to get your head on straight you know like we we've got a million things that we're prioritizing our lives and prayer puts it all in prayer like it puts it all in order puts what's important in order doesn't mean you can't pray for a Corvette but but there's a lot of pressing things in the in the Jewish world there's pressing things in the regular world there's pressing things and there's and then just the human existence has needs and and so prayer prioritizes all this stuff for us another thing that prayer does is it it helps us develop a I'm just going to put in formal prayer is relationship relationships that's that's developing a relationship with God okay so forth prayer goes priorities and it also there was something else trying to remember what that was there's a second thing that see if it comes back to me but the main thing that we're going to talk about is alignment it's there for alignment and what is it exactly you're aligning to when you pray so if you're praying you're aligning with with a with forwards so the world number one when it comes to alignment is the world of I'm gonna put this in English a manila emanation in the second world is called something from nothing and the third is called something I'm sorry I think I've caught something third one is called one-to-one or one like a ratio one-to-one angelic round and then last one is the visit hole so there there are four alignments that take place in prayer and our job is to align with each of those throughout our prayer service so again there's emanation it's a super high level that's where God's emanating light into creation so it's like you can't just jump up to there that's nice you know you got to climb your way and the way you climb your way is by starting at the bottom which is the physical world so you'll notice when you open up a prayer book it always starts with carbonate which is the offerings in the temple well think about the offerings and then temple there's there's a mineral for example that there's stuff that has to with ashes you know like the altar as ashes in it there's smoke from the incense that's a super important carbon there's a water involved there's salt involved there's these these are all physical things and in the human realm so think about it we got oh we got grains like we got inanimate like salt ashes fire right you got fire you got smoke that's inanimate then you got vegetation which is like flour there's wine libations there's oils that are used and there's the incense before you burn it is vegetation then you've got animals birds sheep cows bulls and goats yes now we got the animal kingdom is that you see what's going on there like there's all this physical world stuff today we read about it we don't necessarily do it physically but we read about it and and then you've got in the human realm who's doing it well if you look at the human race you got these people who are the people who witness Sinai and that's the Jews of the Jews you got three levels you got these people who are Nemco hain then you got people named al AV and then you got all the rest of the Jews which I'm part of that last group but you've got we've got the highest of all the Jews is called the co hain in the cone so when it does does the service in the physical world in that temple so that's the first alignment that we do in in the morning now how do you but how do you get from one world to the other so the answer is you have a connector that's like an escalator that takes you up to each world that's called the Kaddish Kaddish is a secret ladder it's like hooks and ladders here it's a it's a chutes and ladders saying Kaddish is a ladder that helps you climb to the next world and that's why one reason why it's in Aramaic you'll notice that God is switches you know what Kaddish is nice got dahlias Kadosh R it switches to Aramaic we've been praying in Hebrew this whole time and then all of a sudden we're in Aramaic the reason we're in Aramaic is because the the the spiritual parallel universes which are filled with all these beings they're not physical beings but there are spiritual beings in Hebrew they're called my love him these these mala him they only understand Hebrew and Kaddish is this like super holy thing cuz it transports people it transports you from world of world well they're not so excited about it like who the hell do you think you are Spencer like you're traveling from world to world hey who invited you who invited you up to the world of the one-to-one angelic realm like you wanna hang out down here fine you want to come up a realm no thank you it says the Angels so you know what we do we switch it to Aramaic because ain't that those angelic beings their job is to send stuff them or send stuff up well when we're praying now they're sending stuff up when God's causing stuff he's sending it down through them everything's through them so you're now sending stuff up well they're not so happy about that not to mention the bag you're going up with the stuff meaning you're gonna go to the next round so they want it then got like fly swatters they're gonna SWAT down your prayers and they're gonna SWAT you down in the but what happens is when you switch to aramaic they don't understand it so they just sent it up phonetically and it gets recreated in Hebrew upstairs because God that's God to never grow there maybe you can pray in English God will figure that out when you pray in English all you have is these angelic things that send stuff up they're just sending up the phonetics they're not sending up English they're sending up all your phonetics and and then they that those phonetics of the English prayer then put together with what it means by God not by they by these angelic things so so Kaddish is Aramaic to send up the prayer phonetically just one last thing you guys should hear if you think about the climax of Kaddish it's you hey sh'mey raba may his name cuz all of this is made of his names including this world may his name it may aim be blessed or Lomb this is the first world olala May that's next row Oh Maya that's why it's the elevator it's the elevator up to the next world you're actually praising his name Lorelai more the male Maya up these three worlds to get up to these worlds so that's so that's why we're saying lo Orlando male Maya this three language of the world just thought you might like that question you did that in your last kill go find something else to do you for sure where man I think I personally think every woman was a man in a passcode cuz you already did that you already did that whole conquer the universe like make your mark that's why you're so chill cuz you're just like I just want a man to support you know and like we're not looking for a woman that's poor that's for sure you know we're looking to have our name up in lights you know like men like to you know they want to make their mark on this place on this planet so how can women be so chill like doesn't you want to make her mark no for sure not if they did they'd be female neshama nish a month and no soulstone engine so the bodies don't either really until the 40th day a fetus you know we'd learned Kabbalistic Lee that that until that soul is put into the body God holds off on the gender and guess what science says that you can't know the gender till the 40th day so all the years we were told years ago years ago we were told by the Kabbalists that if you had if you've already had like five boys and you really want a girl you have up to the 40th day of pregnancy to pray for a girl because you're not allowed to pray for something that's already done it's a call to prayer in vain and it's forbidden to pray in vain like if something's done it's done so like for example let's say your phone broke you don't know how the stock market closed and I don't lie to pray that it closed in your favor it's closed you know so it's it's a prayer in vain it's already closed so the same thing you're not allowed to pray for the gender of a child what Jen do you want after the 40th day so turns out years later after all these prayers that I you know would do for a boy or girl whatever pretty much for the gender but sometimes I did after you know two girls and wrote it kind of balance things out to have a boy so so then I pray for a boy but they turns out that science in the end you can google this later has determined that you can't tell the gender of a fetus until the 40th date it's pretty pretty amazing and it's corroborated by science and we've been doing that for thousands of years in the end our family is actually if you include my wife and I it's boy girl girl boy girl girl boy girl girl boy that's how the sandwich works which is really amazing cuz I have six years between each boy so there's a lot less competition not none they still going at it yeah we're done accent them at every food night that's right they all come through age order yeah and then the grandkids come as well I do bless my grandkids everyone i bless my guests too like if they have it if their fathers didn't bless them growing up like this I guess okay show them everybody that's loosely