Rabbi Yom Tov Glaser: Our Complaints Serve Us!!

gentlemen welcome to practical spirituality here in the old city of Jerusalem a at Asia tour overlooking the Temple Mount life's created amazing like you actually have an amazing life you do I do the prison is sitting next to you does everyone has an amazing amazing life and what's what makes it extra easy to have such an amazing life is that it's always been happening now your life's always happening now any any life you think you have or could have had any other life is whether it's past or future as theoretical your life's here right now and and I mean it looks like all of you more or less have your limbs intact you all look more or less normal so Mazel Tov you have an amazing life you will all have right now an amazing life I mean is there something wrong right now anyone have anything wrong right now you got some wrong George yeah what's wrong yeah what's wrong right now right now you're poor right now there's anything for sale in this room there's no problem right now with being poor right now what else is wrong George you're sick okay but you're but you're as sick as you are sick right could you be sicker yeah could you be healthier are you healthier right now and are you sicker right now this is getting weird George like I said most of you look more or less normal oh you're lactose intolerant your stomach's decided to go on strike for for dairy so sorry that's really sad not being able to have milk is not being able to have dairy is like like punishment worse than death perhaps but don't jump over it but it is rough it's very rough yeah my suggestion George to help your digestion go back to milk is get really in touch with what what exactly is the connection between your digestion and your emotions yeah I understand I understand so something was triggered here about you and as soon as you work that out and it might be the fact that you don't belong here no offence in my opinion you belong I invited you to my house for Shabbos even but you don't feel you belong and when you feel that kind of rejection your digestion stops digesting okay it's probably super fragile even with that non milk products like fried foods and stuff yeah so it's it's a your your digestion linked up to rejection a lot of lot not everyone but a lot of people their digestion and the fear rejection are locked into each other yeah you want to hear something funny my father was my father is lactose intolerance Jorge my father's lactose intolerant have milk but ice cream no problem it's just milk yeah yeah it's like real milk ice cream so I would say to my father once a while waiting for him to forget each time just cuz it was so cute to watch him say it I'd say to my father like you can't have any dairy but somehow you're like you got two scoops of ice cream and you seem fine and he's like he looks at me with these cheapest like baby eyes and looks at me and says my mother made ice cream meaning ice cream represents mother's love and he can digest it perfectly so it was really an interesting case study my father with his lactose intolerance anyway but if you get the link of the rejection with the digestion you'll see your digestion will start to relax cuz all of our body feedback things like that muscles headaches you know digestive stuff chest heart knees back all that stuff all it takes is getting in touch with it and it tends to just let up because what happens is the body's job is to mask paint your body's job is to mask pain what kind of pain emotional pain sorry did I not say that your body's job is to mask emotional pain see emotional pain is the most painful pain so if your body can give you some kind of ailment so it will if your body can hurt so then you don't have to deal with the emotions so much and this happens in my seminars I always feel bad for these people is when it we're opening up all the pain the bots their bodies you know let's say someone has a chronic back problem and so in my sin we're opening up all the pain for them so what does their back say their back says hey my usual job of covering up your emotional pains not working let's try this and it just like really gets them and so I get these people my seminar by day three they're like crippled and that people with digestive issues are like in and out of the bathroom like I like I want to like just have them keep the bathroom door up and so they can hear me speak during the seminar you know get better they just stay in there because the body's like going double-time to try to mask the pain that we're finally getting up okay with but human beings are crazy when it comes to emotional pain we're really crazy cuz tell me have you ever heard of anyone dying from crying they don't ever died from crying no no one's ever died from crying but all the stuff that kills people the majority of things people die from our masking emotional pain so there it's in a way they're choosing what's killing them over their own heartache over their own pain that they would feel if they would just live let their emotions be expressed if you just let your emotions be expressed now obviously you need a safe place for that you got to be in the right environment you know you to have your emotions come out you need you need to be in the right circumstances and with the right kind of support around you and in the confidentiality that's necessary for that you know it's got to be it's got to be right but the but it's insane how afraid of our pain we are now your life's perfect I just told you your life's perfect and you're exactly as sick as you are and you're exactly as poor as you're and you're exactly as healthy as your on you exactly as wealthy as you are right now and that's what it is that's okay I bless you in the future that you should be healthier you can say I mean but that's not where you're at right now and that's also okay right now and we can all handle now now is OK in fact someone put a syringe in my mouth today and shot up my gums for a filling I was unpleasant but while it was going on I felt my body tense ah I put on some meditation music you know in the background and in which the dentist and his assistant thought was pretty humorous and so we had the meditation music on but I just felt my body half I had to let go into stages of relaxation after the original pinprick into my gums and that's really awkward and but I now I can deal with that that pinprick in the moment that's what I said to myself like now I can handle that and this is the source of anxiety as we spoke about the other days this is now that's everything you got to deal with from the future can you always deal with now yes or no how're you guys doing right now can you deal with now you're doing now now are you doing now now no yeah what you have now so you can't deal with I would argue that I have a feeling you're projecting into the future a bit we're now I if we checked you out in that situation I bet you there's some predictions going on so now you can always handle but what we do with our brains as we project into the future this becomes like a drawbridge and all of a sudden we're dealing with everything now can you deal with everything in your life now no nobody can deal with everything now and so that's this that's the cause of anxiety in this moment everything's really going pretty well and and you should know that even when things aren't going so well in the moment which happens to you know people are going through all kinds of stuff in the moment but right now then it's happened when it's happening to the person they can just be there and and ride ride the wave of what's happening there you know when when we're riding when we're surfing big waves in the you know big waves and you fall you have to ragdoll your body after let go of all muscles you become like a rag doll because when the wave finally lets you go after you go through the washing machine you still got your gonna need strength to swim to the surface and you've just gotten pulverized by a 20-foot wall water 30-foot wall of water you're gonna need strength and the way you do that is by totally surrendering to it you don't fight whatsoever when you're in the middle of the mix of a wave I would suggest that even for you people who might go swimming in the waves er you get smashed by a bigger wave I suggest that you do not fight until the wave lets you go so that you have plenty of strength to get to safety afterwards you don't want it tense up and it's the same thing with whatever we're going through and I was head of I had a needle in my gums today and I relaxed my body with it in beside my gums and went through the trauma of that you know I originally I did get shocked and then I slowly let it let it go but here's the thing here's what I wanted to talk about today because there was someone in the class who had asked me about a question that they've always had and but it's remained a question because it serves her to keep it as a question and I'd like you all to think about in your life right now and how much it serves you to have your complaints so everyone right now take a moment think about a complaint in your life one thing I mean we already heard George's I know I just want to give an example of a complaint they have right now it's fine if you want to otherwise let everyone think I'm not gonna start til everyone has got their complaint so take a moment figure out a complaint in your life you can go you gotta go Terry what good so we're we're here everyday 3 10 to 4 so you got your complaint I'm not asking you for it I'm just asking if you got it you got yours get it unless you ain't going yeah nice you're with me yeah yeah you can play we're gonna start when someone's got a complaint no complaints that bad no I mean maybe you sure that one it's getting here no maybe the guys I can glue you know no everything's great oh you got a complaint complaint you I know you gotta go Mike yeah okay now everyone have your complaint in mine let me think if I got a complaint I want to think of one I could share with you let me first see if there's any complaint mm-hmm I got a complaint yeah I got a complaint okay so we all have our complaint and and now our next step is why does it serve you and I'll give you a little hint human beings can't stand a lack of sunlight lack of identity you slide over a bit not you yes you thank you human beings just to give you a hint at why it serves you is it may be that you need it as part of your identity it may be like a part of your identity that you need so whatever that's just a little hint that your complaint gives you somewhat of a self knowledge of yourself okay so I'm gonna take a moment to figure out why it serves you yeah in some weird way it'll be weird how it serves it not necessarily an identity at all certainly in all kinds of ways the only reason I gave the hint was for some people were really stuck on why it serves them it's probably helped them have an identity you know like it's like homeless people not all the homeless people but some of homeless people like that poor me identity works for them you know that's that's good that's why when you get them off the streets they wind up back out there again cuz like they lost their identity when they were given a place to live okay okay we're good someone here want to get coached by me okay I'll choose you just cuz we already heard from George he raises him - okay first name please Abigail okay what's your complaint okay she has a complaint that she wasn't so lazy okay and I mean that's gonna be kind of an easy one but why does it serve you to be so lazy keep going keep going you're still not at the real core benefit there's a core benefit to being lazy [Music] let's not get to that let's get to the deeper deeper stuff why does it benefit you to be lazy it begins with an R well actually it begins with an i yeah listen responsibilities lame nobody likes it it happens to make life meaningful and makes us a lot less apt to jump off a building because when you take on responsibility when you take it on you're like you start to realize your bag of bones actually can do something and maybe even benefit another person or benefit yourself or like a responsibility so super positive thing but it does come with responsibility responsibility comes with responsibility or to quote Cheech Marin of Cheech and Chong responsibilities a heavy responsibility men so they know anyway but it means you have to get off your you-know-what and get busy with life and as long as you're irresponsible you're you get to chill this is everyone's fight but the problem with it is it leads to meaninglessness a meaninglessness leads to meaninglessness leads to well it leads to leads and these ultimately to leads to millions of people dying so it's better to take responsibility now because then they the liberal Milton millennial style people are kind of wallowing in the meaninglessness of things and so they they might sometime god forbid it should happen but in throughout history we've noticed that when the left goes far enough to the left into their liberal meaninglessness world the they sometimes take a stab the what they call the hierarchy of me and that's what Stalin did 200 million people lost their lives over that one the atheist meaninglessness so I know none of you would think about the fact that you taking on responsibility is gonna keep people from dying but but as a movement it does keep people from dying in the response and it all boils down in the end to personal responsibility that if you if you accept personal responsibility and you do your responsibilities your life gets filled with meaning but meaningless meaning fullness brings responsibility also so they snowball a meaningful life like you know however meaningful in your life is as a Jewish woman have a go causes you more obligation in Judaism which means you now more our responsibility and then as you do those responsibilities your self-worth goes up a lot and so and so whatever they just snowball meaningfulness and responsibility and Judaism being a very meaningful path those the snowball but being lazy is a great way to stay keep things meaningless and and so yeah I see why that serves you [Music] that's only because meaninglessness is what I was really doing was getting down to what really serves you we're not fixing anything yet well really this all boils down to is that is that you kind of like meaninglessness now why would meaninglessness serve anybody yeah there's no obligation well you already you're not how old you have a girl you're not 19 you know you know where meaninglessness goes it's not easy there yeah but she's 19 and today 19 year olds 20 year olds 21 year olds 22 year olds like meaninglessness is where it's at not you I'm just saying for many of them it's a whole movement of it that it's just like blur the lines man blur it all up you know it's all you're probably wondering why Jews are better you know besides whatever racist thoughts your parents gave you growing up about Gentiles but but you're probably like kind of on your own in your own deeper heart thoughts is like why are you so much better like what it's a big deal about us yeah because you're in the you're in the you're right in the zone of the blurred lines it's yes it's easier it's easier can't we all just get along and be the same and the answer is though in the end is they start pointing if they get in government they start pointing guns that people who talk about hierarchy and and but in the mean time meanwhile you love hierarchy because if god forbid you had a heart problem you know you'd like to go to the top doctor you don't want the uh you don't want the you know the guy who got in med school because he was Asian or you got in med school cuz he was that he was african-american or something like you know and that's who you got for your heart doctor for open-heart surgery now he may be great but that's not how he got into med school you want the guy who got into med school because of his brains that he has a super high IQ and he knows how to handle himself in the middle of a complicated heart surgery so it's the funny thing is is that when things get really tough suddenly we like hard cases no matter how liberal we are and that's called that's called the hierarchy of competence and hierarchy of competence what makes things great that's why you want to throw a lot of money you want to throw a lot of money at people if people get really good at things you want to throw money at them don't get you and you know that that people who live in the Millennial blur where let's all be one those are exactly the people who think everyone should be making the same but you don't want that because you want the smartest people to choose high-paying careers so that when we need them for something important we've got very high EQ people handling the important stuff like that that's life-and-death stuff you want them making more money it should be a pleasure that they make more money for all of us because they're keeping the standards high on things that count life-and-death stuff plus many other things that are really important like technology you definitely want the top people doing the technology because you know as we go further into transportation things are getting higher and higher tech and that's our lives moving at 70 miles per hour or a couple hundred miles per hours in airplanes you want a hierarchy of competence in all these fields that's a good thing anyway so you want to think how things serve you so I if I give me like brutally honest with myself you know what I came up my complaint was my complaint was that I don't have a social media staff but those who have known me for a while like how long ago should I have had a social media staff in 2000 2000 18 now how long should I have had a social media staff 2012 about yeah I'm as six years overdue so now my jobs you see how it serves me okay guys who's kind of a lame class today I apologize but can only get better from here okay so I'm here right [Music]