How to Find Your Purpose In Judaism

some and welcome to practical spirituality here in Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount please log on to go online and log on to yom tov mediacom and join the yom tov media club yom tov media Club calm and that's the club that we are we have a staff of people that are getting these words out there as much as possible it's my social media network club and and it's a special kind of inner circle club of people who my classes have made a difference for them over the years and and certainly I'm I'm really I mean this week actually in the in the tents fearo's sorry in the count of the 7 meters is this week is net suck today's Hodes Sheva Nets off but that's really my character is net shot and that suck means you're in for the long haul it's the part of your character that just keeps going and going and going and going to go all of us have it inside but some people more than others you know those people who like have a new job every couple weeks that's not a net shock personality you know like I started working for a Chatard 27 years ago Here I am 27 years later I saw a girl I wanted to marry 27 years ago and I wasn't ready to date I had to study tour I had to learn all of it you know and and then but like three years later when it was time to date I the rabbi said you know yom tov it's time to date and and i said okay but before you set me up with anyone i have someone in mind and that woman I'm married to now this fall will be 25 years so and I really call 28 years because the second I saw her 28 years ago and that's net suck that's like I'm gonna keep going with that and I still surf and I'm still mountain-bike and I'm still doing yoga and I'm still pounding beers and I'm still you know yeah I started a seminar 18 years ago I'm still running the same exact seminar you know it's the same seminar 18 years later so you get that's me that's net suck the opposite of that is hold today's hoed Oh chip and Enza code means focus man I've got none of in fact you'll hear probably about ten different subjects just during this hour because I can't stick on one subject I just don't work that way code is focus and I know people are so focused they're just totally focused but they but you find them somewhere else every year they're like always going into something else when they're there they're micro focused in there but but then there's somewhere else the next year and you know you are you hold people you Haute Nicks but I'm a net sosnick and I stick with some a really long time but but again a bit of a kind of a space cadet and so that's that's today's meetup but we're gonna talk about today is how we interface in personality there are three types of personality and they're important to understand do you think I should do that softer I feel like it needs that but maybe it doesn't need that didn't from the banging okay so there's three types of personalities these are different kinds of interfaces there's the the intellect interface then there's the inter personal interface and then there is the the instinctual interface so we all have all all of these now for example in this classroom you're in a classroom so it's probably going to be information coming at you hitting your intellect on the other hand you're with me and I'm very interpersonal by nature you'll notice that I'm me compared to maybe other teachers I'm gonna be much more with you than then just trying to give over data you understand I'm gonna be more with you than way more with you than the data I'm giving over and I'm imparting myself into the experience much more than I would just be imparting data like I said information okay so that's the interpersonal and but you would think the lobby out there would be a great place for interpersonal interaction and then the last is instinct and instinct is your your body or physical body and how you kind of get your info from physicality which is our instinct our intuition that's all going on in the instinctual realm so you live in all three of these realms but it's really important that you figure out which of those three realms you most connect to which one of those is your number one which one's your number two and which one is your number three so if we put it like this if we gave these actual numbers so we give this one I mean it's not so strong one two and three so you'd figure out which is your strong is and then you give it you give it a number so I'm a two three one by nature I'm a two three one person a mostly interpersonal then I'm instinctual and then I'm intellectual so you want to get a sense of of what you are are you a three one two are yet I I was just meeting with someone this last hour who's a three one two three one two is not a lot of fun to talk to somebody by listening to me right now I'm a three one two is not very fun to speak it's not very fun to speak to someone is a three one two they don't naturally relate to people that's their least strong attribute his his meaning though by the way all three of these are we're talking about your USB cable how do you what's your USB cable to this world and so I had to spend the last hour with a 3-1 2 which means the conversation didn't flow I had to keep it flowing the whole time and it was fine I was there to help the person and so that's cool I'm gonna help him and I spoke the first half hour straight because he won't speak otherwise and then he started to share and then I was able to help we're gonna have to meet a few times had he been into it we would have been done meeting because we did we would have synergize and gotten to the point of it but this is definitely a two-three meeting person so we're gonna get to what he needs now the and there's people who are one three twos also no fun to talk to you certainly don't want them at your Shabbos table unless you're married to them and and then and so this is intellectual people and their and then their instinctual people but the last thing they want to do is be around a bunch of people so they'll generally be more more likely to be introverted anyone who number two in case you're wondering which one you are as far as number two is if you would if you would call yourself an introvert you're most likely interpersonal is your last on your list and someone who's like an extreme extrovert like me this is probably gonna be number one on your list so that that's helpful and the other thing is there's good ways to know how instinctual you are as well that's not so difficult because you would you'd relate very much to life's pleasures you would you're you're you really are in your body very much and you're you're good at uh you're pretty balanced probably I mean you have good balance you could do things that require a good balance you're probably handy with your hands can do stuff like that you probably like eating on Shabbat but you don't really like Shabbat you find yourself sitting at the staring at the clock like well you're not that interested in staring at people and you already ate and you know lunch is over and the only thing you can think up is go to sleep you're not an intellectual to study so it's really important by the way to know your order of events here which one to know your order to get your modality one of the reason it's so important is if you aren't married yet it's not too late to marry someone who shares your modality because that's that that's the ultimate is for example I mean I mentioned I'm a two three one so I married it two three one which is great her proportions are different meaning uh medium I'm very strong here and very not strong here and she's really strong at all three so it's great we always want to do the same stuff except you know after Shabbos lunch when I've eaten my chili I only want one thing what's the one thing I want yeah I want a nap no no she'sshe's done the interpersonal at the table she's done the eating at the table she wants to study shows open books so we were first married she would we would open a book together cuz we're first married and and we're at the table and like within literally like 30 seconds I'm just like she's just sitting there what happened what happened that was quick fast asleep so then after like a year of marriage I said okay why don't we study and in our room yeah that wake up with a stiff neck you know that's study in our room I've got it you'll read I'll listen yeah except I'm laying down comfortably but but now that we've been married for almost a quarter of a century she didn't say anything just just make sure that I'm happy and I also do a little something cuz you know the five love languages are so that her language of love is service mines words words are a lot easier than service so I can't just say it was a wonderful meal good night in the middle of the day after the chunk so what I do is I go clear the table and then she sees that she's loved and I cleared and I'm exhausted you know I'm like I'm falling asleep carrying like bottles to the kitchen and yeah but I I do the service she knows she's loved she's gonna study for another hour - and I'm going a bit so anyway but it's but if you're not married yet you can do what I did and and find someone who shares your things otherwise you're gonna be living kind of what do they call that parallel lives parallel lives although that sounds nicer than it is parallel lives just means you'll agree to do other things at different times of the day and you know they have to be together with my wife she's she'll do anything just to talk to me and and I love talking to her so the interpersonal stuff is really always cracking and then we will do yoga together we meditate together and we we do all I mean we do we dance together like we will just rock out like sometimes we'll just take a like an air B&B in the mountains and with speaker system and then just crank up some rock and music and we'll just dance the entire night and we're just a couple weeks ago we danced for life I think we danced six hours straight something like that we danced for six hours straight it was amazing best night so anyway so we totally meet here and then the next day I woke up you know like 11:00 and she's like studying yeah just kidding anyway commit 11 o'clock we went all night we we never went to sleep but what an amazing experience so so anyway if you're single you still have a chance to interview a person of the opposite gender who might share these things because I know people are total misses on this I know people who are I mean just everything's the opposite on these things so he wants to study she wants to do yoga you know she wants to hang out with her friends he wants to watch TV you know he wants to watch sports or something like that and so yeah he goes with her sometimes - out with her friend sometimes and but it's like pulling teeth to get him to do it and some and it's not a big deal for us to stretch for our spouses that's fine to stretch for our spouses and the and I will study with my wife and she will say to me you know Shabbos is coming I'd really appreciate it if you had DVAR Torah something to share in the parsha for each meal and and I'm just like yes ma'am you know and so while I'm in shul I'm opening up the whole mission I'm checking out what to say at each meal and while I say it it means so much to her because she knows that's a stretch it's a stretch I'd do that you know cuz cuz normally I go to shul we I'm a Hasidic Jew and I go to an ecstatic prayer place so you're just ready to go home after that you know there's three and a half hours screaming your head off you know and like a full chuckling like like like intense bellowing of screaming for hours you know I just want to go home but my wife said you know see if you can have something to say so that means okay kids go talk to your friends I'm hoping um ish get a DVAR Torah Fred for the meal so so it's fine if you don't have the same numbers on everything and you can just stretch yourself a little bit okay any questions at this point excellent moving on now the Jewish world was always very respectful of these three because the Jewish world really hits all these three in a big way Torah study prayer mitzvahs torez steady career mitzvahs it's like it's all there thank you we're built for this you know you can study the Torah which is an intellectual practice you can pray and interpersonally relate to your maker like that's amazing and lastly is you get to like build a Sukkah you can shake your cosmic vegetation around yeah the men get to strap these leather boxes on themselves if you're into leather and they're that the we just got mitzvahs all over the place we can there's a spot right here for you right in the middle there's uh there's I mean there's just so many mitzvahs we can be doing all the time and not to mention the mitzvah of Shabbos our house starts Shabbos on Wednesday seriously when's net shot of shot weren't full Shabbos mode like all my wife's creative activities are Sunday Monday Tuesday starting Wednesday it's she's shopping for Chavez started getting stuff going for Chavez yesterday they already have the fish reading for Shabbos tonight tonight will be I already right now I'm probably in my kitchen in there in full Shabbos prep mode right now and so and so you're just your body's in the midst of things you're busy using your body so Judaism's really nicely set up for the three modalities and it really it really hits them quite well and so we're all pretty psyched on that but it's also you can have your favorite part of Judaism the part you want to really connect to cuz that's fine everyone's allowed their Mitzvah you know even though we're supposed to you know every Mitzvah is equal to every other Mitzvah you can't judge the weight of a mess over another Mitzvah every Mitzvah is you know it's it's a standalone it's a standalone and so you want to sit are you looking for the bottners she mention you're here earlier no she doesn't yeah you're good so the every mix was a standalone reality but you're allowed to have favorites it's fine to have favorites you know for example holidays I'm crazy about holidays I'm really crazy about holidays I mean maybe because my name is Johnny holiday and my name is my name is Yom Tov my English name is Johnny Johnny holiday so I'm born to love holidays but I really really get into them like you guys anyone here been in my cyka parties and she's been a circle yeah so even it was a good party okay so our suka holds a hundred people has tap beer bandstand and it's I mean it's just this amazing experience there and but but like that's my Mitzvah hey guys that is the Mitzvah simplice yom tov like the joy of yom tov and so you can have your favorite Mitzvah but here once you know if you're at 2 1 2 1 3 or a 3 1 2 uu Judaism is just waiting for you so the ones are in heaven because we so emphasize Torah study that the ones you know sometimes I meet a one who comes to Israel you know they discovered Tara and they're like blown away by these classes they want to get out of this course essentials they want to get out of here as quick as possible and move over to the base mid-race and starts really studying and and then they're like they catch wind of the fact that once you get married they like pay you to learn you get a stipend like forget tuition you get paid to learn it's called coelho quite well okay Eddie's by KO y el el cuello so you get paid to learn in Coelho and and the when they hear that when the ones here that you know what they do they send an email back to their entire email list saying they died and that and that the body can't be found and people should just you know we're so sorry you know and then they just like lock themselves into the study hall and live happily ever after because they just love this place this is great for them and and the interpersonal types like me they're gonna want to join like some community because the Hasidic community if you're Ashkenazi or even Sephardic because they have breasts live and Habad and stuff for breasts are dim but if you're if you're if you're an interpersonal type so the yeshiva should community is not really the funnest place in the world but the Hasidic community oh my gosh like we love hanging out has seen him love hanging out we can just hang out and hang out and hang everything up and in fact that Shabbos I'm going to tomorrow is like it's like it's like five hundred couples Hasidic couples yeah I mean it's like a stream I'll and they and they and it's like the ultimate hanging out with scotch and herring and we just will just hang out for hours and hours eyed people right people won't sleep there for two nights straight because they're just gonna hang out the whole time and so this really works they're also interpersonal as yeah and yeah but you know the connection of Prayer I mentioned and lastly is there's like a million is supposed to do for the instinctual times know there is one issue though and the issue is is what if you're part of a community that doesn't honor the other ones what if you're in a community that doesn't really honor the other ones like what do you do for example what if you're raised in a from a family that's really into let's say you Shiva like study the father's really in a study and he puts the kids in the all the kids are in this yeshiva environment and so and so that's called making it like making it is there but what do you do with you know because there's there's a statistical chance that you're going to have several children we're gonna be here several the kids can be there if you have ten kids let's say for example a lot of these families happening so they're here yeah what do you do with the instinctual kid what are you do with the kid who's uh who's a three to one in yeshiva what do you do with that kid what's gonna be what I can and what do you think the percentages are like if you actually took the human population let's say females for example where do you think the females come out in percentages here so well there I think when they come out to is about forty five forty five and ten yeah five forty five 45 min ten something like that and maybe this is a little more maybe we got sixty eight thirty five yeah you don't want to be I mean no female wants to be intellectual I mean that's like that's a disaster AJ you have something did you notice the did you have you ever noticed the haha mode that a lot of women who are a half a mo are often single you know I'm time out there's these great teachers they're like no all of terror and they're like big huh come out and they're like forty fifty years old and they're single yeah they it's it's not something you want to happen because because what happens if oh my gosh I totally forgot I forgot that when we're not discussing brains here there's none with brains meaning meaning there's a rabbi in Jerusalem he used to be an Asia tour rabbi who's the probably one of the smartest people you will ever ever meet he was in charge of our rabbinic ordination program maybe was smart smart and he was a total instant guy so like he he even though he was studying Torah all the time he'd prefer to be eating burgers and drinking cheap beer okay do it when he came to Israel when he got here he had just finished rebuilding a Mustang like a Ford Mustang like you took it all apart labeled everything and put it all back together and drove it you know like this guy's a total instinct guy but a genius all the people all the geniuses who have like figured out how to make millions in the stock market they're all instinct guys those are instinct guys instinct people who are geniuses none of this was about brains we were not saying this is a smart guy I know I know intellectual guys in yeshiva who love ideas but everything comes hard to them cuz they're not as smart as some of the other people who get it a lot quicker they just don't care I mean this guy cares he just doesn't get it so well this guy gets it easy he just doesn't care you understand I mean he doesn't care that much about ideas this guy cares his whole life his ideas he lives in the work realm of ideas but he's not that smart and obviously the ultimate would be and probably who are our top rabbinic leaders they're people who are intellectuals who are very smart meetings super high IQs they get they got it together but this has again this has nothing to do with than one's intelligence and this is why for example there are genius artists there are artists were man geniuses crazy geniuses but they live there like 90-95 two and a half two and a half and they're there just beyond like mad geniuses these people and that's fine God knows exactly he had a like you know how to shake the salt over the different pots when he creates us yeah they say you know every country has where all the crazies live you know like America has on the East Coast they have Greenwich Village and the west coast they have Venice Beach and here they have spot you know so so they say that when when God was shaking craziness around the world he that thing the thing fell off or that how you supposed to say that and whatever it fell off over those towns you know the so what I want to share with you is that is that if someone's born instinct shal to you Shiva situation where that's the culture so he can easily feel marginalized very quickly about himself and that's why I started talking about percentages cuz we're not to mind a small amount of people because in the male's let's say what do you think the male presented I believe the male percentages are probably there probably forty five forty five intent I would imagine they're probably forty five forty five minute ten not too many men just live in ideas you know we we we want our friends like our sports you know like think about men we like to have a few friends and we like you know we don't mind being a little intellectual like we'll read the paper in the morning so like most men are not poring over books you know it's just not the way it goes because it's a very low percentage and it should be a low presenting because you just don't need that many people being involved in the ideas you have to have some people involved in ideas and when I sing him before about women is that a woman whose intellectuals are gonna have a rough time respecting her husband and the key to marriage is the respect kita marriage is respect when I interview men to marry my daughters all I'm doing is just seeing if this guy knowing how my daughter respects me wouldn't this guy also be respected because if there's no respect and I just completely blew it for my daughter on the marriage I understand so the the respect of one's husband is the key to one's marriage your respect um you get some automatic as an automatic free me if you respect a man if you respect a man the automatic freebie is attraction no respect no attraction respect you get a change okay and I tell married people all the time that if the woman doesn't feel respect for the husband then she doesn't complain about it she builds him up not only in her eyes but literally builds him up to the person that she respects she builds that man up because sometimes they'll get into a mode of tearing him down even stronger but there's always an easy way to know if this is going on if this dynamics going on you know very simply by the frequency of cohabitation if the frequency of cohabitation has dipped that means that there's a respect issue here and so the man needs to be trained how to command that respect obviously not did I say demand or command commanding respect is not demanding respect once you're demanding respect you don't deserve it okay anyone who anyone who thinks they needed to think anyone who wants respect shouldn't get it necessarily but someone who commands respect in in his approach in his relationship in for example you know that say my wife was upset with me let's just say and the and my wife is upset with me and and she goes you know she goes for the she goes into attack mode she's upset with me and she goes into attack mode if I if I interact with that attack is that respectable or is that just show I'm just a I'm just a Pavlov dog I'm a I'm just a reactionary boy trapped in a little corner trying to you know I like a cat named Zen am I supposed to react to that or am I supposed to just kind of you seem very upset soon really excel or am I supposed to defend myself and told to let her know how wrong she is which one no my head he seemed really upset and I get it and then repeat a couple of her points and then she's like okay married a man I mean a man cuz I can't I can't drag him into this he's not willing to go down this river of pain that I'm in and because we're going down a river of pain wheel of a wheel of a passenger and we're going down that river then no greater passenger than a than a hurt husband a wounded man or a girl we should call him and so you get him to fight back and get him to getting the whole thing together and then everyone's miserable but instead when the man can just breathe be there with her let her express whatever she's got to say repeat the stuff she said she knows you heard you you're heard and you'll see it's the most amazing thing by the way anyone who doubts when I'm saying is true just watch what happens watch what happens you will see her go into a full factory reset within one hour within one hour I promise you just see your wife no no full factory reset within one hour if you can be a man when she's upset and so that's just the proofs in the pudding go check it out yourselves and you'll see it works and the by the way if there's women listening to this just forget everything I just said yeah because if your husband didn't hear me say that he's just gonna get into a video then and then you're just gonna both be like just the snowball going down there down into a ravine somewhere so anyway so that's why God made it such that women would be more involved in instinctual living in also the interpersonal in order to care for our world and nurture it and no we don't need that many people intellectual not in the male world not in the female world but it's a particular kind of curse if it lands on a female because of that respect issue and the oh by the way if you're wondering why intellects the most challenging for respect its unique the intellect when it comes to respect because you see let's say I'm a bass player and let's say what's your hip naming in Russia let's say Moshe over here plays bass and I'm better and no one else in the room plays bass can I be arrogant over anybody here only one there's only one person I've got I can upstage and that's motion everyone else it's irrelevant that I play bass better than you you don't play bass when it comes to intellect everyone's got one and if your intellect if your intellect is a cutting-edge intellect understand if you have like if you're on the high percentiles of intelligence you can hit the snobby intellectual mode with everywhere you go everyone you see no matter what you're stepping around an airplane with 300 people on it you're the smartest person on that airplane including the pilots you you go to a business meeting you're the smartest person every single time in the business meeting your no matter where you go you are head and shoulders above everybody and therefore you have to work yourself so deeply because God wants from us God favors the empty vessel and someone who has arrogance is always full that's the full vessel and God favors the empty vessel you see who did he choose to get the Torah the smartest know which one the humblest God gave the Torah to the humblest person it's very interesting how are you shiva community who do we respect the humblest or the smartest we were to pick the smartest and that's the one with the biggest challenge of of arrogance and now one add insult to injury not only he's got the biggest challenge because he's got the highest intellect and therefore was the top of everywhere he went every school every window every you Shiva everything everything is always at the top but to make it even worse because that's who we give all the honor to they but they get extra piled on honor everywhere they go they're put in the front God give him a seat now you should know that's our Mitzvah we have a commandment it's one of the 613 commandments honored the Torah those who know Torah we have two Commandments regarding Torah of the 613 one is to study it and the other is to honor those who study it study it honor this I don't know if you guys knew that that when you honor a Torah scholar you're fulfilling one of the 613 I don't know if you knew that but you should know the next time you see a Torah scholar do something to honor him in some way and you're literally like shaking a lulav right now you're literally doing one of the 613 when you're when you're honoring a Torah scholar so do what you can to honor Torah scholars and obviously make sure they're eating most big Torah scholars are eating but but you never know there's a lot of Torah scholars who are you'll never ever hear of in your entire life and they're just hidden out doing there's a Torah study and so you have a chance if you have a chance to honor them which may even be helping support them go for now you know given that most men are probably 45 and 45 that means that that means that 90% of men being raised in the Shiva environment are like fish out of water they're like fish out of water now the ones that are here survive they do pretty good and the reason they do pretty good is because think of the fraternity think of the fraternity of a yeshiva you'll notice that some of you who graduated you shiva's are like you reminisce not so much about the learning but about the friends and that you're part of a gang of people and you could be any issue but with 300 men and you're you're just you're in this camaraderie there's those this partnership that the people who are here are are they do well in your shoes as long as they got like half a brain they'll do fine in your Shiva because they've just got friends and and there's just there's weddings after a while when people start getting married and they're like in constant events if you're Hasidic forget about I mean you're just hanging out all the time and and then the but the guy who's here which is again it's forty five percent of the children are born to these to these homes if you're there then you're like no I like I'm not that interesting all these people I'm pretty uncomfortable I feel judged a lot of the time when I'm in public I have a fear of I've you know social anxiety I don't want to be with with you know 200 guys who look exactly like me i I'm not interested in in certainly not interested in four hours of study in the morning four hours of studying the afternoon and another two at night night Seder and in the interspaces like prayer no not her shouldn't any of that and the now some luck out if they're geniuses and they can just anyway cuz usually got doesn't create this kind of head space for a guy but if the guys that unique genius who's an instant guy okay don't put up with it but what you get instead is a lot of marginalized people a whole society of people who feel marginalized they just feel out and of course you're never allowed to talk about this but that's my job I'm the one who talks about everything you're never allowed to talk about but I know a lot of parents who suffer because they love their children like their own flesh and love their children and they see their children suffering in these situations and the child has this big problem because in those communities they make Torah study such a big deal that it's almost like idolatry and what do I mean by ideology I know I'm using big words but why is it like idolatry like idolatry the reason it's like idolatry is because there's amazing definition of idolatry and you know what that is it's making the means the end making the means the end for example kuna our earth exists without the means of the Sun no are we let about down to the Sun now that would be making the means in that's idolatry money could be idolatry is is it is do you need money to live yes is that the end or the means money it's just the means but you bow down to money it's idolatry it's about making the means in and you should know all the intricate idolatry of the different you know like more pagan communities India and stuff like that that what are they who are these people what are why are they doing this why are they giving flower offerings to this God and that God there's God that God knows God like what are they doing that for and the reason is is because they know all the Kabbalistic parallel universes that we study in Kabbalah and they know those universes and in those universes are beings there are beings in there and some of those beings are quite in charge of large swathes of spiritual realms and they in those traditions believe you can appease them with a gift with an offering that you can bring them an offering okay yes if you're some media guy with a dot on your forehead wearing a bedsheet you know that makes all the sense in the world if on the other hand you're from the tribe of prophecy Israel and you've already been let known etapa Raceland daughter who have been shown to know key Hashem who are located a knowed Nevada that there's really only a sham and all that system that he created all the parallel system does not need your offerings all offerings are for whom the Creator for the Creator not for the intermediary not for the mediums they're not for the means you get that idolatry I so I just explained how real idolatry is really just giving making the means in it's like thinking a waiter I try to go into the kitchen when I go to a restaurant I try to go into the kitchen if I can get back there all of a sneak I'll wait until no one's looking I'll sneak back there find those chefs sweating it out on there and I just say thank you so much cuz it's nice I tipped the waiter I thanked the waiter I appreciate them bring the food can't eat without them doing that but you certainly can't eat without someone you know you know whisking up the eggs and stuff like you gotta meet that person and say thank you to the source and also obviously I make a broth on the food because I'm thinking the true source before and after the meal so so anyway but that's idolatry but how many people in the shiva community have made datura the end you understand they made the tyre at the end and and so in a way it's like an idolatry like i don't to make the tour the end and you know that's cute and sweet what I'm saying but there's casualties along the way and what happens is that people make this really dangerous distinction which I'll show you here here is 612 Commandments 612 Commandments and over here is one commandment guess which commandment what commandment it's called Torah study it's a commandment try study one commandment but what happens if you so emphasize listen carefully if you so emphasize Torah study if you make torah study the end in itself so then what happens is you wind up here thinking that this is the entire thing right then you wind up thinking this is all there is and so if this doesn't go for you because you are the instinct guy and this didn't go for you so I have met countless kids over and over again and adults adult businessmen with Gentile families cuz he married a Gentile but sits next to me I somewhere you know wherever I met him and he's got his Gentile family around him and and he's like I was in yeshiva and as I get to know him I realize I'm talking about an instinct guy and he was considered the guy for not really getting any traction in yeshiva and he got spit out of the system because he was told that terrorism what it's all about meanwhile there was 612 count of 612 mince was waiting waiting for him mitzvahs are to connect to God so yeah it's 612 other mitzvahs waiting just waiting and so as a peer and so as a people so as a people I'll tell you we don't have to de-emphasize Torah study but we do have to put everything in perspective we have to put everything in perspective for for our generations growing up to make sure that there's something for everybody in Judaism thank you very much [Applause]