Using Protection

Simon welcome to practical spirituality here in the Asia tour in the old city of jerusalem overlooking the Temple Mount trust I want to share with you just a thought on trust we'll see where it goes but they trust is on a continuum maybe I can draw it I don't know how to draw it exactly but trust us on a continuum from from you know no trip no trust let's put it like this let's call it like this let's put it in terms of kids for a sec no protection thank your responsible parenting okay and then what's on the other side well that'll mess them up to both mess them up okay no protection is where trust is over protection is no trust now you probably never would have thought of this but think of that be when you're very very protective of somebody what you're basically saying that I'm trust you I don't trust your ability to make good calls your judgments off I don't trust you so I'm just gonna protect you and make sure you never ever get in any trouble because I don't trust you now is that the kind of message in a once from their parents no not at all it's an it's an implied statement you understand it because all they're doing is just you know they're literally like like closing you off on every option so that they can be stay in control so here your parents like fully controlling but yet you're getting hurt the whole time why are you getting hurt yeah there's actually two human beings on earth that love you so much they want to take care of you so why you're getting hurt and why you feeling like breaking out all the time the answer is it's because he employed the implied message of overprotection is I'm not trusted well if I'm not trusted that means that that it was that brings self assurance or self doubt so that now I'm feeling a lot self-doubt and that's gonna and when you have self-doubt this world look look more the world looks more exciting or more scary with self-doubt scary in every aspect socially professionally meaning your ability to actually do something like if you have self-doubt you're just gonna wind up one to curl into a little ball and hide with self-doubt and so as parents we are we are serious it's a serious situation this continuum here because no protections are responsible but it builds the kid like nothing else over protection is is like over responsible but but ruins the child it ruins the kid and then the kids full of self-doubt the world becomes a scary place and and it's like a loss of a loss of a life in a way like you you really you know you really mess this person up the person you love the most is the one you messed up the most weird right it's really weird because anyone who's overprotective do they love their kid oh yeah oh do they love their kid and and they think they're gonna show it by protecting them you know protecting the gift of their kid and the person who shows no protection for their kid obviously this within reason and we're not talking about sending your four-year-old off to you know on a on a safari to Africa you know this is when I say no protection I'm talking about like you know like based on age based on maturity of a kid based on their abilities basically you know understand what I'm talking about is not it's when I wrote no protection when I meant was giving the kid a sense that they're that they're they can do this and so I think no protections maybe not even the right word but what we'd call it let's call it up maybe yeah planned protection or / like protection from above kind of we'll call it invisible protection I don't have the right so we're gonna call that invisible protection I'm really into invisible protection I'll like I'll send my kid on some adventure and he has no idea that I've got my tabs on the whole experience it's very godlike in a way if you think about it cuz like we're enough we're off on these adventures like all of you right now right in this room are here in Jerusalem you're all on this adventure I mean no one's really keeping that much tabs on you but God is and he's giving you a full sense as if you are not being protected I mean think about when you're walking out in the street or you were walking around on poram or walking somewhere here there anywhere are you going up to spot for shadows whatever there's no one on top of you there's no one on top of you oh can someone give me a five-minute 5 2 1 5 2 4 notice is anyone good if time 5 2 4 just put up a hand like this big wide fingers here just like that I don't have to go like that so anyway Wednesday I'll get there and say but the but think about it with your life with God God's letting you sense your full vulnerability and and all the calculations you have to make and you got to figure it out you got to make sure you're not doing some stupid etc et-cetera and but meanwhile meanwhile God's totally protecting you from above and that's kind of the ideal with kids but here's the one issue though is if you do invisible protection there's another issue and that's that the kids could feel that you don't care so you get the balance here meaning when you'll be parents then you're gonna be a mother they're gonna be a father if you do invisible protection it could be your kids just get a sense you don't even care what they're doing if you do overprotection we already discussed that's gonna mess things up so there's a certain level of asking about the details of things to let your kid know that you're involved that you're you care like these are this is important to you but there's this implied trust all the time this was the complied no trust and this is the implied trust but I do ask about its the details of what that child's going to do because I want them to know that I do love them and then I'm behind them and that I care about them so you understand like these are these are interesting variables going on here all the time and don't forget that we didn't even put this part but but there's a it's usually a person here in this case we've been talking about a child but there's a person here and I've got to choose where along the line I'm going to be relating to this person could be a spouse could be a child could be a friend could be a student could be a teacher and where am I gonna put that person so a lot depends on that dress so it's a whole other aspect is how much protection is a person like this need meaning if you build your child properly you should be able to go into more and more towards this direction the more you build your kid the more built they are the more you can be less protective and less and more trusting of them but the people who are more on this side of things they're the kid really is not gonna be great at what it does you know an interesting example is I'll take a question after this example an interesting example this is is did you know in Texas you're allowed to have wild animals in your home meaning you're allowed lions and tigers and bears and you know that in Texas you're allowed to do that and they're they have they had issues when that issues with with that in that people would get you know the guy works for the who knows what the military um gets transferred now to a state that doesn't allow wild animals meanwhile they've been raising Tigers since they're since the Tigers were babies and they're tried to get someone to adopt their Tigers but like good luck getting someone to adopt full-grown Tigers so what they did was they this happened years ago but they took the Tigers to to Africa where the Tigers were from and and just set him free and the Tigers just got eaten by hyenas which usually hey you know Tigers are not high you know food because Tigers are part of the king of the jungles the type animals but they just didn't have any defenses they didn't they weren't able to protect themselves because they they were raised in captivity and they're raised in people's home and so they didn't fend so well out there and you know that's just kind of a way to edge this whole discussion that I've just given over in your mind and there's a question when I was giving over this was all variables so it depends on the child different children have different level of independence different let chillner after mines and smarts street smarts depends on the kid but you've got to be very careful because some kids want you asking all about the details and some kids don't and you have to be able to send two kids out on the same exact different mission there won't be together but the same exact mission and that one kid asked more details to let them know you care and the other kid be careful not to ask the details but make sure you know that he tells because you know what be responsible so so yeah it really is gonna depend on each kid someone else had a question for protecting your kid I don't know what you mean anyway I hope you enjoyed that subject everybody and please join the club yom tov mediacom sorry you want to meet a club calm