Emor: Does Religion Stifle Creativity? The Talmud on Respect for Dogs & Immaculate Conception

Okay, today's class is dedicated by Daniel Penn in tribute to the brave souls of the Israeli Defense Forces whose tireless dedication and courage defend our nation, our people, our homeland, our freedom, our life. May God bring all of them and every hostage home safely. Amen. Graciously dedicated Osa Khan Coronel in memory of her dear beloved mother Bimma Basim Yak in tribute to her yardite on the sixth day of today. May she remain an eternal source of light, blessing and inspiration to you and the entire family and all of the Jewish people. Thank you very very much. We're going to study today hashemarak a a story that's related in the garra in the talmud trackctate khaga page 14. It's one of those stories when you read it for the first time and even the second or third time it's extremely enigmatic. It's very you could see that there are layers of profoundity contained here but very difficult to decipher what it means and uh this particular story seems so so enigmatic so filled with mystery and the connection and the just juxtaposition of ideas and insights seems extremely difficult to comprehend. And yet upon deeper reflection, we're going to learn basm that there's a whole world of ideas and relevance that is unraveled here. So let's begin. It's your first source. You have it in the Hebrew, the original, and it's also an English translation if you want to follow the English translation. As I said, it's track page. That's 14b. He begins with a following story. This is a very well-known passage, but the passages afterwards are a little less known, which means the rabbis taught four people, four human beings, four individuals went into the paradis. Paradis literally means an orchard, a garden. It's called the parades. And here it's a metaphor. It's a euphemism for they ascended mentally to a spiritual state, a spiritual space. They transcended the usual uh patterns of thought and embodiment that we have and they went into a transcend transcendent state of consciousness. In fact, the word pardis, I don't know if you know, but in Greek, the word paradise, paradise is connected to the word parardis because the there's the word in Greek that means both garden and paradise. It's parardis. So that's why we call paradise paradise. It comes from this word which is parardis which also means an orchard. So they actually went into this state. Who were these four people? Benazi Benza. Benazi the son of Azai. Z is a son of Zer which means the other one which is again not his real name. His real name was Alicia Benuya they called him a stranger the foreigner the other one and the fourth one was Rabaka. So these four great sages of the time Benaz Alisha Rabaka are about to ascend on this incredible mystical journey where they would see things that most people never see. They would observe reality from a completely different perspective. The regular sensors of the brain that filter out most of our unconscious and access to different layers of reality would now be removed and they would enter into a different state of consciousness. Somebody got to prep you on a journey. Before you go on a journey, integration uh prepping is important. Rabaka who was the master, he did the prepping. He prepped them. What was his prep? says to them, "You're going to reach a place of are stones." Shyish marble pure. You're going to reach a place of pure marble stones. Do not say water. Water. Literally, it means you're going to come to a place. It's going to be beautiful pure marble stones. They're going to look like waves of water. Don't say water water. This was his warning to them. He says that would be a lie. That would be a lie. The says this is what happened. Benazi Benazi went hits it. He gazed vase. He died. He never came back. Ben hits it. He also gazed. Venka it affected his mind. Was demented. Alicia which means he plucked out the plants from the garden which is a metaphor for the fact that he became a heretic yatasham Rabaka is the only one who came out in peace. So four people each of them was affected dramatically different. Benazi passed away. Ben Zmed affected his his way of thinking his mindset. He was never the same afterwards. Alicia Bavuya abandoned Judaism and that's why he's called a he became it's well known Alicia Bavuya became a completely different type of person and uh Rakiva was the only one who went in in peace and came out in peace that's the end of the story right now the Gmorra goes into a whole different story they asked Ben are you allowed to sterilize are you allowed to neuter a He said to them, it says in Leviticus 22:4, you're not allowed to neuter. You're not allowed to uh sterilize any any animal, including a dog. What is he referring to? So we have here in the English if you look at the English translation third paragraph in the English Ben was asked is it permitted to castrate to neuter a dog he replied with the verse of our portion the says in what's the context the context is that in par the Torah talks about the offerings that we bring in the in the tabernacle in the sanctuary the mishk later in the bik the holy temple and the qualification is that every animal brought needs to be tim it needs to be whole shalim complete So if you have an animal that's blemished, it's called a balm. And the Torah goes through a list of many blemishes. It should not be brought as an offering as a carbon. And then the Torah continues, and this is the Ben was referring to English translation. Any animals whose testicles were squashed, crushed, pulled out, or severed, you shall not offer up to the land, you should not offer up to Hashem, to the Lord. And in your land, you shall not do so. In other words, one of the blemishes is an animal that is neutered, an animal whose uh procreative uh organs are compromised. But the then adds, "And don't do this in your land." What does it mean? Don't do this in your land. So Ben says you're not allowed to sterilize any animal in your land. Any animal. I don't want this to be happening in the Jewish community which wasn't. So this is the Ben answered. You're not allowed to neuter even a dog. Now you ask what's the connection? They went into an orchard. Ben Za was affected. And then they ask him about neutering a dog and he brings from paras you're not allowed. And in fact this pusk is the source for a very famous a very famous mitzvah that according to Judaism we are not allowed to neuter and compromise the procreative ability of any animal any behemoth kosher and even not kosher like a dog. In fact, in Israel, if you go to Israel, you know how many cats you will meet. And what's the reason for that? And the answer is because of this issue. There were many mayors of cities that wanted to uh eliminate the ability of male cats to uh procreate. But because it's forbidden for the Jewish people, is forbidden even a cat, even a dog. says he says her the says and here it's not only a mitzvah in even though it says because it's not connected to the earth mitzvah that are connected to the earth are usually because the earth is holy the earth in outside of doesn't have that holiness but here it's not connected to earth it's connected to any moving animal and of course human being so therefore it's not only in it's not only it's even in not only that There's even an opinion in Gmorra. It's not the that's accepted, but there's an opinion by Sanhedrin, many that this would even be a prohibition on a gentile wasn't accepted by many authorities. But for Jews, it's an absolute prohibition to do. And this is what Ben Z answered. This should not be done. Then they asked him another question and this is going to get a even stranger much stranger benza. They asked this ben za another question. I'm not going to elaborate on this one because it's it's you know sensitive information. You could look it up yourself if you want to know all the details. I'm just going to give you the general perspective. is that also needs to marry a woman who was never married before. It's called absula. What happens if he finds out after the marriage she was pregnant? Right? So what does this mean? Does he have to get divorced? She says, "No, I was never married before. I was never I was never with anybody." What do you mean? But she's ibra. She's lying. She's lying. What? What? What? I don't What happened? And indeed the kind sees that she's right. Doesn't look like there was anything. So they asked Ben what's the maybe it's what taught taught that there's a way of having relations without splitting the without causing any blood and that's why she's absula and she's pregnant. Maybe that's what happened and therefore he has to get divorced even though it's his absula because there were relations. And Ben Z said, "No, no, no, no, no, no. That's very, very, very rare. It's unique. We don't focus. What happened was something else and here you have 2,000 years ago, something that they only discovered now called artificial insemination." And he discusses the fact that it could be that she was in an ambata, she was in a mikvah, she was in a bath and there was a seat over there and it impregnated her. The whole the fascinating this the Gmorra discusses this. You're talking about 2,000 years ago. Ben Za lived in the times of Yakiva. You know 2,000 years ago the Gmorra talks about that she went into an ambata a spa a bath and over there there was a seed and it and she conceived it and that caused a pregnancy and therefore the koal doesn't have to divorce her. She's absula she was never married before. She didn't have her life. This is what happened. Now the question is how do you define this child? How do you define? So all the halas today connected to IVF in vitro fertilization is based a lot of it is based on this based on this concept that bin z introduced at that time and therefore the kadel can trust her and say it's fine even though you're talking about a pregnant woman that's the next conversation interesting conversations after he comes out of this orchard first they're talking about neutering dogs and then they're talking about IVF now comes a third story equally strange Right after this, the rabbis taught my Yeshua ben. There was a story about he was another contemporary of Raba. He was standing on a step on the temple mount. If you ever visited the harab around the Harabas, there's the everybody goes to on the west. But if you ever took a tour to the east, anybody knows the other side. It's incredible place to see because over there you could actually see an image of the gates of the Harabayas that we learned in Mishnayas how they went up into the Harabayas. There were all these gates and you could still see the imprint. You know what I'm talking about the imprint of the gates and mikvah places that were used for mikvah and steps going up. So this is what he describes who by the way was still in the second B mikdash. He was a ley and he was one of the vocalists the vocalist. There were musicians and vocalists in the B mikdash every day and he was one of them. He was one of them the gammor says. So he was standing on a step on a a mile a step bahabias on the harabayas what we call in English the temple mount veren saw him but he didn't stand up before this was unique because was considered one of the greatest of the sages and ben za was there too he was walking and bishu was there on the step and didn't stand up. Obviously, Yeshua was on the step and was probably sitting. I said he was walking. He was sitting because if he was walking, he couldn't stand up. He was sitting and he didn't stand up. Yeshua says to him, "From where and to where?" Meaning, where you coming from? Where you going? May means from where to where? In other words, what's going on with you? Where you coming from? Where you going? He understood that ben za must be overwhelmed by something because he ignored him. Even though Yeshua was there on the step of the rabbi, Ben Z ignored him. And therefore he said, where you going? Where are you coming from? Where you going? Oh my. So Ben Z says to him as follows. I was gazing on the space between the upper water and the lower water and I realized there is only barely three finger breaths between them. The Tyra says in God's spirit hovered over the face of the waters. like a dove which hovers over her young without touching them told his students still doesn't get it. He's still outside. End of the story. So here we have the completion of the story. Now, we're going to try in this class to I'm not going to say make sense out of the story. That would be audacious, but try to touch touch a little bit the texture, the the the depth of what's going on in the story. The story has been obviously dissected and analyzed and explored over generations since it was written in Kiga especially by some of the greatest mystics and cabalists who discussed the pardis at length. This particular commentary we're going to discuss is based on two sources. One is the mehash which is aidic work by the ishitzba the reb of isbbitz rabbi liner was his name ishbbitz is a city in Poland ishitzah that's where he's buried as well and he has a work called the waters of the spring which of course was the mikvah that they used the basha the spring they used for and other things is very close to the place of the harabayas last year I was in I had to go to the mikvah over there in the meash. So it's called the waters of the and in paras he has a very profound commentary on this story. So some of these ideas are based on that and another also on the writings of the Arizal and the balatana. So let's just remember the structure here. Four people go into an orchard. They're all affected different ways. Benzema doesn't die. Ben Z doesn't lose his faith but something happens to his mindset to his state of mind unlike unlike Benaz right after that they ask Ben Z a question the Garra doesn't give a time frame but it comes right after that means there's some connection somehow the Gmorra sees it connected they ask they ask him about neutering a dog which is like this man just had the experience of his life maybe you know let him relax a little bit no we have to know if we could neuter a dog maybe they had problems with dogs in Jerusalem then I don't know and says Absolutely not. You're not allowed to do that. In other words, it's not only a kosher animal, it's also a non-coosher animal. Then they ask him a second question which seems completely completely far-fetched, very rare about this kind who marries this this girl who was never married and she's pregnant and what's happening? Does he have to divorce her? Does he now divorce her? She claims she's absolutely suitable for him. It's completely fine. Even though she's pregnant, we want to know if maybe there was an issue. There were relationships without blood and that's why she could still be Absula. she didn't lose her virginity etc. And he says, "No, we don't say that. That's very unique even though it's possible. We say that there was an issue of artificial insemination and therefore all is good and they can continue to they can continue to enjoy each other even though he's a high priest." And then right after that there's the story of the Harabas and he doesn't stand up for is is uh is somewhat astounded. What's happening? What's going on? He wants to know why didn't you stand up? What are you involved in? What's bothering you? What's overwhelming you? And he says, "I'm busy looking at the space between the higher water and the lower water. And I realize that the space is only three fingers, which of course is a very very tiny space." And of course, he's referring here to the story in Berius. It says, "Hashem creates the light on the first day and there was light. But before that, the begins and the earth was engulfed in darkness. The spirit of Hashem was hovering over the water. On the second day, Hashem says, "Let there be a firmament in the water and separate the water." And from that day, there is what's called the Mayim Elim, the higher water above the heaven and the lower water, which we are all familiar with below the heaven. On the third day, he has the water retreat into oceans and rivers and seas and lakes and canals so that dry land can emerge. That's on Tuesday. So, Ben Zima is looking at the space between the higher water and the lower water. And it's only three breath, three finger breaths. And that's why he says, "Hashem's spirit is over the water like a dove over her young where she's so close, but she doesn't touch them. She doesn't want to skin, doesn't want to intimidate them. So she's right over. If you ever see birds, how they're protective of their young." Yeah. Almost like Shamas, you got to be there. You don't move. But we don't want to completely take away your freedom. So we're going to hover there. And she doesn't touch them. And hears this. He says, "Ben Za is still outside." What does this mean? Well, he heard something and he said he's still outside. So, in order to appreciate all this, we have to We have to really explore what's this idea in this week's paren says that there's aic prohibition of eliminating the procreative the reproductive ability of a living organism in our world. This includes a human being. It includes every single type of balai, every single type of animal. And the fascinating thing is, as we just learned, even non-coosher animals. And it's not because they're going to be brought as an offering. They can be brought as an offering, but even they're not being brought as an offering unless it's an issue of pikes. Of course, if the life is in danger, then all the get suspended. All the mitzvah get suspended. But if it's not that case, so then this remains the is known as the Easter of serious the prohibition to to castrate. What is what is the what is the reason behind this? In fact in fact even though one says this is what the says but the Rambam writes in that whenever we can give a reason whenever we can try to understand we should try to understand. So the the gives a reason for it and the reason he wants to give a reason is he he likes to give a reason for every mitzvah. But here the question is even stranger because this was a practice very very common in the past in the days of your yester year. It's also very common today especially among farmers especially those who raise animals and for a simple reason. The reason is actually because it made life much much easier. When you have a uh bull in a farm, right, a male bull in a farm, if if in simple English, if he's not tamed, if his abilities are not compromised, within a very very short time, they're going to be a lot a lot a lot of offspring. And this is very hard for farmers. Number two, bulls that are not diluted, their abilities are not compromised. They they could be very very aggressive. It's very hard to train them. They used to remember use oxen for threshing, for plowing. For this, you had to harness and train and discipline your ox. Neutered oxen were much, much easier to deal with. In fact, even in terms of food, I believe it tastes much better. So in terms of practicality and pragmatism, this was and is something that was universally practiced almost in all cultures. In Judaism, it's absolutely prohibited. And not just Jewish animals, even a kazer, a pig, a swine. You would think, what does care if there going to be one less kazer in the world? what's going to be in and even if I'm raising animals here in Ma or anywhere in New York or anywhere in the world outside of fascinating why so the says something very powerful says and I'm going to read what he says I have to add it to the source I forgot to add it this morning but I'm going to read his He says, "Hashem, Hashem created his world with perfection. There's nothing missing and there's nothing extra. He created a world in which every single creature constitutes and fulfills an indispensable role in its own way." That's you're talking about every worm, every reptile, every fish, every bird, every mammal, every plant, shrub, bush, tree, every star, every galaxy. You might say, "I don't see how the worms are helping anybody." That's what you might say. That's what I might say until we find out that the only reason we could live is because the earth is fertile. Who makes the earth fertile? There are billions and billions and billions of worms that don't stop moving around in the earth. And they actually plow the earth all day and all night. You know, we don't look at it that way. You see a lightning a lightning every eight or seven or eight seconds a lightning somewhere in the world. You know that. So it's a lightning some electric explosion because of we have the scientific explanations today. We know that a lightning we can't live without nitrogen because nitrogen is what creates amino acid which is the food of every single cell and we have 70 trillion cells in our body. There's nitrogen in the air, but there's no way the nitrogen is coming into the earth so that we can grow from it. We can live from it. It's the lightning that allows the nitrogen to merge with the oxygen, which then comes into the droplets of rain, which goes into the earth. So whenever we eat plants, so we eat fruits, we eat vegetables, we eat animals that eat vegetables and plants, we get that nitrogen so we can live. So every single every single detail that we learn about, we discover how it constitutes a there's something a purpose in it. It's an incredible thing. We say in ash, right? What does it mean? Generation to generation, your your actions get praised. The malb writes in his commentary on the word actually doesn't only mean praise. It means enhancement. Things get enhanced. He says every generation we appreciate more and more the intricacies of every single aspect in existence. So the says nothing missing and nothing superfluous. If something is superfluous is extra. If something is missing again it's imperfect. And the says and he wanted that the animals should naturally procreate create new generations and the same is true humans of course somebody who neuters somebody who eliminates who ruins the procreator The reproductive ability in a human or an animal is demonstrating disgust or repulsion for the act of the create for the for the creature of the creator for the work of the creator and it's a form of wanting to destroy his good world. So what the is telling us here is that the wants to respect the integrity the natural integrity of every single creature because it's natural integrity again if it endangers life then the says you have to do whatever you have to do is but if not it's a form of respect for everyone's role in creation and that includes the lion and it includes the hyena and it includes the cheetah and an elephant and the dog and the cat and any other mammal or any other actually living creature that procreates. The spiritual and theidic masters add another very powerful point and that is that the procreative ability is actually the space in which the human being or any creature resembles the divine in the most powerful way. Hashem is a creator. Where do we come closest to be divine? When we create. So the creative ability of the human being creating life is the place where we most reflect the divine. That's why the word for creator is yer means creator and in Hebrew means creativity which comes from the word creator. So eliminating this creative ability of the person which literally allows us to create life just like God. It's the space where the human being touches holiness in the profoundest way because that's where we come closest to reflect Hashem. What is more we create everything we create is temporary temporary it's limited but here it's something we call in it's something that's invested with the power hopefully of eternity generation after generation after generation after generation for eternity. So this is the eternal divine gift invested in the human pro procreative ability to be able to create like God and to be able to create something that will continue for for generations for generations and generations hopefully for eternity. Such a power you don't eliminate. Such a power you don't destroy. such a power you don't compromise because you're you're you're playing I'm touching something that is so sacred so incredibly profound about a human being of course of course there's challenges in it any powerful any powerful energy can be challenging nuclear energy has to be protected that's true I have to protect it I have to know how to harness but not destroy not eliminate so this is on the basic level what the meaning of the mitzvah is. Every single mitzvah, every single law and also has a spiritual and emotional and symbolic dimension. In addition to the physical, the concrete manifestation of it, there's also the inner idea behind it. Which means in this case the concrete is you know I'm not allowed to neuter a dog or a cat or any other animal or any other mammal or a human being etc. I'm not allowed. That's the physical concrete. Eliminating the creative ability to create a new generation is forbidden in Judas. But in every single mitzvah, the Rambam writes, most mitzvah had they teach us something about ourselves internally as well. So in addition to the concrete manifestation of a mitzvah, there's also the spiritual and emotional and psychological manifestation of a mitzvah. What does that mean? In our case, every person has creative powers. Every person has a creative power, a power to create. What's the first mitzvah in the first mitzvah that's given to is the mitzvah to have children. Why is that the first mitzvah? You would think the first mitzvah should relate to something in the person themselves, herself or himself. But the first mitzvah receive is so why? So once said in Yiddish, he said if the first mitzvah is you're a Jew, make another one, create another one. That's the ability of a person to be mashia to procreate. There's physically of course, but there's also emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. That's the creative power of a human being to create life to give life to infuse somebody with life. So the says this creativity of a person this creative power of a person your ability to give whatever that giving consists of we must never ever compromise or destroy or eliminate. But it goes much deeper than this. As we see the prohibition is not just on a human being. The person is even an animal. What does that represent in a per what does that represent in our life? Even the creativity of our animal, the animal inside of us. Everybody has a nephew but also a nepheam an animal consciousness. So even the creativity of the animal I have to respect. I can't just destroy because the ox is very wild or the dog is barking too loud or the other mammal or is very very aggressive and I'm having a very hard time. I may be having a hard time. I have to know how to deal with it. I have to figure out ways of handling the issue. But to destroy sirus to destroy to eliminate that creativity of my inner animal that the gives us in Musahascal a general lesson one has to be extremely careful not to do that. Now let's understand a little more what that means. What does that mean in a person's life? In other words, how do we understand this mitzvah really as a reflection of a person's daily life for ourselves, for our children, for our students, really for all of our loved ones? [Music] Sometimes there could be a mindset that develops and I would say it's probably not very infrequent. It's certainly not very I don't think it's very uncommon. Maybe the opposite, but you'll have to decide that on your own how common it is. But it's a certain mindset that uh we could feel in ourselves or we hear from people and that is that somehow religion or faith or yiddishkite or tyra comes handinhand with a certain form of repression, a certain form of psychological repression. There are people maybe even instinctively that's how we're taught maybe it's ingrained somehow in our psyche or our system for whatever reason that to be a good person often means that some of my creativity needs to go dull needs to be dulled stifled. I often get emails from people. I mean pretty often I should say lamenting this that in their community or in their culture or in their environment or our environment, their system, they feel that creativity is something that is seen as dangerous or mocked. Somebody shared with me in a different community, a very beautiful community that he was trying to do something very uh let's put it creative and it took audacity and guts. He really wanted to change something fundamental. And he said someone just came over to him and said, you know, who do you think you are? Just do what everybody else does. You know, don't swim against the stream. Just do what everybody else does. Just be a men. Just behave normally. Don't make noise. Don't make noise, you know. Just just acquies. Just surrender. Follow the system. You'll be safe. You'll be safe. It's a much safer space. And this is not a judgmental statement. One can understand where this person is coming from. There's a lot of dangers in life. There's a lot of pitfalls. There are mistakes. There are stumbling blocks. Originality is very interesting, but it could sometimes lead me to places that are dangerous. What do you have to be original? What do you have to be creative? You know, Just follow the footsteps of others. You don't have to go off the beaten shack and create a new path because you're full of imagination and creativity and you're an artist. There were artists before you. There were artists there would be artists after you. Zill, just be a good girl or a good boy. I once uh saw somebody once shared a story. His name is Clint Pulver. Clinton Pulver said when he was 10 years old, he was in school and uh non-Jewish boy and he had this instinct of always banging, tapping on the desk in the in the in the in his class. So he was always like this because the teacher was annoyed, the students were annoyed, and the teacher kindly asked him again and again, Clint, this is not the place for it. You got to be quiet. We're trying to have a class. But he simply couldn't stop himself. He sent him to the principal and the principal gave him a brilliant idea. He said, "Sit on both of your hands a whole day. Sit on both of your hands and that way you won't drum." So it helped for like 90 seconds. And then instinctively both of his hands came out and he continued to drum and he was always sent out of the class cuz he needed to relax. And anyway, once he says he had a new teacher, Mr. Johnson was his name. And again, he couldn't help himself. He was drumming. And Mr. Johnson, one of the first days in the class, said, "Clint, I want you to stay here after class." And he was certain that's it. You know, his time is up and it's expulsion time. He's going to be sent home and this time for good. When everybody left, he stayed there with Mr. Johnson. And Mr. Johnson said, "I just want to tell you something. I was watching you. I don't think that you really have a problem. I don't think you really have a problem." And he opened his drawer and he took out a drum set and he gave it to Clint. This was his first drum set with drumsticks. And he said, "You were created to be a drummer." And because you were created to be a drummer, that's what your mind is telling your hands to do all day. That's what you were created to do. And Clint told the story and he said, "I never let go of that drum." And today he's a worldrenowned drummer. Literally worldrenowned. He's in fact one of the best drummers. And I was thinking to myself, you know what? if he would have had a different type of teacher. Michelangelo was considered uh the greatest sculpture, one of the greatest sculptures in history. And they once asked him how he creates his sculptures and he says, "I see the angel trapped in the marble and I chisel away on the marble and I set the angel free." So, it's really seeing the angel inside of the marble. So, here was a kid. Yeah, it was a problem for the class, but the teacher understood your brain is telling you your hands to do what it has to do, to do what it's supposed to do, cuz that's who you are. That ability to be able not to be afraid of one's uniqueness, one's individual creativity is crucial also in education. I once read a story about a kid. He was in sixth grade and all day he would look out the window, right? You remember that one kid in the class all day looking out the window and finally they used to call it a he dreams all day. Today there's a lot of diagnosis for him but then it was one diagnosis for everybody. You dream heals. Finally the teacher lost his patience and he says to him who do you think is going to pay you for looking out the window? You're not going to get a job. If you look in the book you'll master the text. You'll get an education. You'll be able to make a living. But you dream and you look out the window all day, you're not going to be able to support your family this way. Says today he's 32 and he's a pilot. So he says he gets paid for looking out the window all day and much of the night. That's what he shared. But what is what what are we what are we what are we referring here to? And sometimes it's painful. You know, you see people I once met a woman Abalas Chuva and she had tremendous courage to change her entire life and and she was mocked and then she told me and this was painful she said you know what my greatest goal is that nobody should know my background I don't want anybody to know I'm a bal chuva that's how much I want to fit in and I told us the exact opposite your experience will enrich people's lives what often happens happens is that people there's so much pressure that I want to fit in and become integrated. So my kids should be able to marry all of the best families. So that way I try so hard not to stick out, not to be conspicuous. And people who maybe had so much color in their life and so much creativity and individuality in their life but for some reason consciously or unconsciously because of pressure that's conscious or unconscious or just somewhere in the water that we drink feel the need to suppress that or to repress that. I once went to see somebody for some physical ailment I was having and here in this in my he told me something it was very painful very painful he said to me that uh he made a big mistake in his life I said what was the mistake so he said that 32 years ago he became a baluv and he was diving in a particular sh and he was the only one who didn't have a black hat and in the beginning he was celebrated because he was like you know the fresh kid on the block but after a while he was getting this pressure like new new new. So I said, "What was the mistake?" He said, "The mistake was the day I put on a black hat." I said, "Why was it a mistake?" He said, "Cuz for me it wasn't authentic. I was just copying other people and trying to fit into other people." I said, "Okay, so you put on a black hat. I mean, it's not going to kill you." He says, "No, but the atmosphere in my home, my kids felt that after that everything was inauthentic." And he told me that they chose to uh they they they left the path that he brought them into. So I said, "What do you think it's all the black hat?" He says, "It wasn't the black hat. It was the fact that somehow I came here because of authenticity. And in the process, I lost my authenticity. It became much more about fitting in, saying the right thing, doing the right thing so I would be socially accepted and conform. It's like I think somebody once said, we build institutions to facilitate our greatest dreams and then our dreams become prisoners to those institutions. So I create an institution because I have a dream. But now the institution defines me rather than I define my institution. So it's not anymore the dream doesn't fuel it. And this is natural because in life we grow up and we have children and there are systems and there are structures and you want to be in those structures because there's so many opportunities and blessings. So it's a very sensitive balance not to become jaded and not to lose one's passion and one's life force and one's authenticity in a hashem. You see the last source sheet is from 103. Blessed are his angels. Those who have tremendous they're strong. Their worry was full of power. Doing his word, listening to his word. What is his point? To do Hashem's word. It requires a person's full strength, full creativity. That's what it means. Is not an act of passivity, of acquiescence, of of suppression of a person's soul, of a person's heart. It's it's showing up to life with all your flavor, with all your love, with all your presence, with all your nama, with all your soul. Hashem wants us to protect our our creativity, our ability to create, our ability to change, our ability to transform, our ability to revolutionize, our ability to dream, our ability to serve as colossal great human beings, ambassadors of infinite light and love and hope that needs to be protected. Initiative, craving, desire, color. Trump doesn't want you to lose your color. doesn't want you to lose your your passion for life, your proactivity, your expressiveness. I don't need to sometimes I could feel, you know, that religion means I should become somewhat I mean emotionally hunchback like you're an evashem and evadem means be like a slave. So a slave means I'm like hunchback. I'm fetched. I don't mean fetched necessarily physically. Maybe that too. I mean fetched emotionally. It's an approach to fetchite. There's a chapter 2. My dove is in the cliffs of Iraq, hidden behind a step. And this describes a person who's hiding behind Iraq, hiding in the cliff, you know, peeking out. I'm afraid to be me. And the tells the God tells the Jew, come out of the rock. You don't have to hide under the rock. You don't have to hide. Come out. I want to see your countenance. I want to hear your voice. Your voice is pleasant. It's sweet. Your countenance is beautiful. In other wants to feel the heartbeat of a person to be fully present with life. A day is a day of zaka. It says he came with all of his days. every day was was saturated with his with his and Sara's full light, full energy, full full creativity to utilize every resource, every talent, every skill because like the says nothing is superfluous, nothing is missing. the skills, the talents, the resources, the personality, the circumstances, the life story, the background, the home, the challenges, the blessings, the gifts, and even the difficulties that every person has in their life are all part of the story, are all part of the of the realities that shape us, that help us, that challenge us, stimulate us to become the human beings we're capable of becoming. When it says the Gar says in Nothing was created in vain. We say in everything that was created reflects the glory of Hashem. That includes your heart. It includes your talents. It includes your resources. It includes your soul. It includes your passion. Now sometimes a person feels I have a big Yates. The word Yateser comes from the word Yitzer. Yateser inclination is connected to the word yitzer creative. And sometimes people feel that their creativity is dangerous. If I'm going to allow my creativity and my individuality to blossom, watch out. It's much better if I get stifled. Maybe some a person once told me, he says, "I don't even want to feel what I'm feeling. It's much safer." But how could you live without feeling what you're feeling? Living without feeling what I'm feeling, I'm a dead man walking. So yes, sometimes feelings are painful. That's why some of us shut down our feelings at a very young age. If I don't feel, I can deal with much more stuff. You know why? My computer functions much better than me. You know that my computer never gets into a bad mood unless it gets a virus which is affected by a human being. Only human beings ruin computers. My computer never gets into a bad mood. It never says, "I'm tired today. We're not working." And if it does, I throw it out and I buy a new one. Either it dies or it's alive. But a human being is not a computer. We're not artificial intelligence. If I don't live with my heart, if I don't live with all my parts, if I don't live with all of my emotions, if I feel that I have to neuter parts of me, I have to castrate psychologically, emotionally parts of me, half of my heart has to go into jail. Half of my experiences I can't talk about, half of me has to be suppressed, repressed. Who's showing up to life? A very very tame, timid, beautiful, acquiescent, well-behaved animal, but one who lost its entire flavor and texture and uniqueness. Once said, it says it's the of Sunday from 24. Who will go up to the mountain of God? Who will stand in his holy place? Somebody who has clean hands. Clean hands is a pure heart. So I have to have clean hands, which means I'm honest in all my dealings with people. I have a pure heart. I'm authentic. I have integrity. I'm not a lawyer. I'm not a deceiver. But then he says he did not carry my soul in vain. What does it mean to carry a soul in vain? So he has this interesting example. So he says that there was once two very close friends. One was made it well one made it he was wealthy other person was povertystricken so the wealthy one gave a huge loan to the poor person so he should be able to invest and make a living the poor person was a very honest person so he took all the money and he put it in a drawer he didn't touch it a year later the wealthy guy comes back to him and says new how did it go you give me back my loan so he says absolutely and with pride he opens the drawer and he takes out the money and tacked exactly what he gave me gives him back he says I gave you the money to do something with it. I know you're an honest guy, but I wanted you should invest and make money. So, you didn't carry my soul in vain. I gave you a soul. I gave you a mind. I gave you a heart. I gave you largeness. I gave you creativity. I gave you talents. I gave you resources. Don't just put it in a drawer and hold on to it and you won't do anything with it, but it's going to be safe. That would have stayed in heaven. The Gomorrah says in many places which means when we could mention the prohibited view or the permissible view we always try to mention the permissible view. Why? So Rashi says because in because to prohibit something you don't have to be a big matter. You're allowed to eat it. No. You allowed to do it on Shabas? No. You allowed to do it on? No. If you say no you're always safe. To say yeah you actually have to know how to learn right? To say that could just say no. No, no, no, no, no. Everything is prohibited. So, in other words, the power to permit is greater because it means you're actually a real scholar. There's also a deeper interpretation and that is Yiddish has two parts and what we don't do and what we do. The part that we don't do is the foundation. It's called discipline. But that is not the the novelty of the soul coming down into this world because not doing we also had when we were up there in ganed before we were born. Staying away from negativity is critical in life but it's not the great purpose of the soul coming down here because in heaven we also abstain from all evil and all negativity in fact much more and much better. What's the uniqueness of the soul coming down? The activity the creation the changing something the positive. So even though we need abstaining as a foundation for life, anyone who doesn't know how to abstain and doesn't know how to say no to certain cravings can't live and can't survive is going to get into lot a lot of stumbling blocks and fail. But the the power of is because that's the purpose why the came down. That's where you didn't carry my soul in vain. you actually actualized it to the best of one's ability. Now a person always has to know when an animal's creativity is not compromised there are dangers. Yes. And therefore I have to harness myself. I have to discipline myself. I have to haveim I have to have I have to have red lines that I don't cross. But it doesn't mean God wants me to become a zombie, a robot, devoid of me, devoid of of my passion because that is the gift that was given to me in order to bring to bring light into the world. And it's not an ego. There's a big difference between being crushed like he says and nishb means that I'm not driven by an ego. I'm a channel for divine light. I'm not stuck in smuggness or arrogance or hoardiness. But that's very different than being crushed. Than feeling that the great religious personality is the personality of a schmata of somebody who doesn't feel of somebody who doesn't protect their dignity. Of somebody who doesn't realize that they are essentially a derivative of infinite consciousness with the power with the power to change the world in a very very powerful way. We say in Davening every morning, Hashem knows our Yates. What does that mean? It means God is not afraid of yet. You also don't have to be. People sometimes get so afraid of the Yates. Don't be. He created it. He's stronger than it. He knows it. He understands. We don't have to be afraid. Imagine if nobody was afraid of the voices inside of them, the struggles inside of them. The moment you're not afraid of any voice inside of you, everything changes because you realize this is part of my journey. It's part of my mission. Put it in the context of your creator. He knows everything. He knows my instincts. He knows my struggles. He knows my demons. He knows my skeletons. He knows my ghosts. Even those I'm not aware yet. I'll find out about them in a few months, maybe. Even if it's in my unconscious, he still knows about it. So I don't have to be you don't have to be afraid of I have to know how to deal with it. On the contrary, when I know that he knows it and this is part of my mission. So then I'm not a loser. Part of this has to do with shame. If people are going to see me, they're also going to see the other parts of me if I just hide. So fine, you won't see anything. You'll just think I'm a good person. But when we can transcend that shame and realize every challenge, every struggle I'm dealing with is part of my journey in life. It's part of my it's part of my mission in life. I don't have to be I don't have to be embarrassed. So the says love is with because if I kill my I kill something else. I kill my myer my creativity. The katskarba once said something very sharp. He said when a person breaks a tya they now have two. When a person breaks a tya tya is a craving they now have two. They break it again they have four. They break it again they have eight. What does that mean? The katskyba didn't know that a person needs to break a tya. There's two ways of breaking a tya. One is I break a tya out of with guilt and with shame. I break it. You know what happens now? Now I have two instead of one. In other words, not only does it come back to haunt me, it's increased. It's strengthened. And the reason is because I'm denying a piece of myself. Whenever I deny a piece of myself, it comes back usually to bite me. The real concept is not breaking a ty. The real concept is understanding that what I'm really looking for is not the external facade of what this ty says I want. There's a void. I'm looking for something. Even at the core, the is not evil. It's a coping mechanism. It's surviving. Means understanding that inclinations for horrible, toxic, negative things is the external part of the story. Don't break yourself in the process. Understand your goodness and your search, your quest for infinity and oneness. and then see the craving as an opportunity to learn about myself and then when I have an opportunity to learn about myself I don't want to resort to this superficial component sometimes and this is very true with teenagers and it's true with teenage girls and teenage boys and kids some of them are very lively and as they develop as young adults different things get developed and there are challenges and the shame that is associated with these challenges in so many youth is debilitating. I can't tell you how many people they're now 20, 30, 40, 50 still dealing with shame of age 16, 13, 14, 15 because of internal experiences inside or things that happen outside without any vocabulary to process it, without any self-respect, with so much inner guilt and self-loathing and self-shame and self-denigration. And this is where it's so important for parents to be able to develop as much as possible a trusting loving vocabulary language with their children to understand our creative powers are not our curses. They're our divine gifts. And those parts that could be very challenging are the parts that the says don't eliminate them. Wouldn't it have been much better for God to tell the Jewish people I have a great idea for every 14year-old? Why don't you just eliminate all that evil and you'll be an At least do it in a dog. Even in a dog, you're not allowed to do it. Even in a you're not allowed to do it. Even in a lion and a cheetah and a hyena. Who needs hyenas? Tell me. You really need the laughter of hyenas. Elephants. Hyenas. So you look at yourself. There's a hyena inside of me. There's a dog inside of me. There's a behavior inside of me. Don't be afraid and don't think that the path of Judaism is destroying it. Why? Because it's challenging. Yes, may be challenging. But this challenge is always coupled with your power, with your creativity, with your passion. Now, I have to not break it. I have to help a person understand what's happening, see what's happening, learn how to create boundaries and borders and structures that will bring out the best in me that will bring out the best in my will also be painful. Help a person. Help a person distinguish between what is healthy, what is unhealthy, what is normal, what may be an addiction, what may be destroying my life because it has overtaken me and I'm not a master anymore because of my own wounds and coping mechanisms so I can heal. But the process is not self-loathing and self-destruction. The process is celebration of all the parts of myself and seeing where certain parts completely went out of whack because of my need to develop coping mechanisms because of whatever story I was dealing with or I am dealing with. But the approach is one of tremendous respect for the internal dynamics of a person for the internal emotions of a person. And therefore, what the is teaching us in this mitzvah is that Hashem wants you to be successful. He's not afraid of big people, of gigantic souls, of gigantic hearts. God is infinite. He gave you a soul that's infinite, not in order to crush it and turn it into something tiny and small hiding. It's the largest of that happens through the through through the power of a person to be to be to be to be to be a giant in your goodness in your kindness because it's it's not it's not arrogance it's godliness that flows through you someone once said I don't know a poet he said most people live lives of quiet desperation here the says don't surrender to mediocrity we don't need quiet desperation I don't need you to be frustrated and desperate. I was once in your inul and uh Rabbi Adinstein you know Rabbi Evan he was celebrating his birthday. So by the somebody came over to him I still remember was Rabbi Lipker from the Shul in Bal Harbor. He came over to Rabbi Stein and he asked him what are your regrets on your birthday? It's an interesting question. So he said, 'I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, but should I tell you my biggest mistakes? My biggest mistakes were things I did not try to do because I was afraid I'm going to make a mistake. That was my biggest mistake. It was such a p I was I was quite young at the time. I don't think I was married. It was such a lesson in life. Somebody once told his son, "Son, I'm not afraid if you shoot the basketball high and you miss. I'm afraid if you lower the hoop so that you never miss. I'm not afraid. It's a it's a tall hoop and you're going to try and you're going to miss and miss and miss, but you're aiming high. I'm much afraid you're afraid to aim high. So, you lower the hoop and you'll never miss another shot again. I'm never going to make a mistake again. Everybody will always say, "Ah, [Laughter] somebody who never makes any waves. I don't go into the ocean. I don't want to make I don't want to make waves." It's not about being sensational or make waves lame making waves so I could make my mother, you know, like what's next with this girl, right? We're not talking about that. That's another form of, you know, trying to get attention because I don't like myself. We're talking about a life where somebody is truly in touch with the mission with the that Hashem has given every single soul to light up the world to light up themselves light up their home their environment in the world with the unique Hashem with the unique light says I don't want to carry my soul in vain and every moment is part of me carrying my soul that's why we say inimm Bring to Hashem Bim means the sons, the children of the strong. Bring to Hashem glory, strength, confidence. Why? Why not bring weakness and mediocrities? Because divinity requires courage and strength. It requires openness. It requires the ability to be able to think out of the box, to be able to be open to infinity. So I want to be able to have a vessel to experience this. There was once somebody said, his name was Valen. He said, "There's two types of Jews, two types of people." He says, "You ever saw a portrait?" I mean, you probably have in your home, in your dining room, a living room, a salon, a beautiful painting, a beautiful a beautiful portrait. And uh Mosha said, "It's it's it's it's beautiful and it's perfect." Whether it's a person smiling, whether it's a painting or a picture of a great human being, maybe a family, it's a it's a beautiful beautiful picture or painting that decorates your dining room or living room. And the person in the painting or the picture is always smiling, always. They're always in a good mood. And the colors are right because it's a really good painting. And there's the right contrast between the sun and the shadows and the lights and the colors and everything. Says the only problem is it's not alive. A human being has ups and downs. The colors are not always perfect. A elect I'm alive. So sometimes you have a person you know every day is unpredictable. Everything is predictable. The only problem is I'm dead. When you have a living person there are fluctuations. There are ups. There are downs. But that's what it means. That's what it means. A mench leapt. The person is alive. There's a beating, pulsating heart. And when you feel alive, there's no replacement for that. There's no replacement for somebody who's moving around physically and emotionally and spiritually. Learn presence, full presence, presence of of soul, presence of mind, presence of heart, presence of all the parts of myself that show up to life, the good and also the challenging. So now let's come back to the story. You still remember the story? Okay. Yeah. Four people going to an orchard. They see the world in a way that nobody sees it anymore. As Tyra says, it doesn't mean they physically went up somewhere. It's a state of mind. It's a state of consciousness. It's when people go on a very very serious journey into different layers of consciousness. [Laughter] how they did it. You want to know if what's if this has if this is psychedelic? They did it how they knew how to do it. They knew how to do it probably through uh meditation and their souls were generally antennas to higher places. Um and they knew how to probably open their brain to different layers of reality and they went into the pard was the shame. They used God's name which is also a technique of tuning into deeper divine energy. Benazi couldn't come back anymore. Once he saw that reality, there was no way of coming back like no. You know when the electricity is flowing through a wire and the voltage is too intense. Ever happened to you and your computer or tape recorder just died? Because the electricity was too intense. Today they make adapters to be able to help out with that. But when you went to another country, you put in the wrong plug into the wrong thing. Kaput. You were done. You were finished. Benazi the electricity was so intense the body couldn't contain it anymore either he didn't want to come back or he couldn't come back it's what we spoke before purim about remember when slaughtered the idea here is he saw a higher reality with such clarity that coming back to this world was simply not a possibility for him mace Alisha went to the other extreme in order to come back he completely disconnected this world from anything else which means he plucked all the plants out of the garden. Everything is connected. We're all connected organically. The plug is always inside. We couldn't live without it. We're fish and water. We just don't see the water. We're all connected. Alicia Navuya decided for him to live in peace. That was his way of coping. Ribby was the one who integrated things. He came back in peace. Ben was stuck in the middle. He came back. He was alive. But as it says Nivea, something was affected in him. Something was affected. So the mayo says something very profound. People saw Ben Za. They saw Alicia. They saw Benazi. Benazi obviously passed away. They saw a they sen. And they wanted to understand where Ben Za what happened to Ben Z. So the says all these questions were not just questions. Are you allowed to castrate a dog? Aud married Absula. Married Absula. It's not well they didn't have anything better to do than to make him a sugar after this journey. So you could say well it's questions and I understand it's questions in and they're important but why here right now? He says these were questions to try to identify the issue. They asked him are you allowed to neuter a dog. They thought maybe what happened to Ben Z was he went so up he went so high he lost his respect for the structure of this world. And this is fascinating because when people go on very very deep spiritual journeys, they see that everything could be such a joke, meaning meaningless and almost like a mockery. It's like you know how we take emotions seriously and you said this and I said this and he said this and she did this and this happened by the shabraas and then suddenly I realized that maybe you know 50 years all of my emotional experiences were based on a thought that frankly was just an immature three-year-old thought divorced from reality and based on that thought I developed this whole philosophy and all my emotional reactions in my marriage are based on this little inconsequential thought that was developed because of of of yeah because maybe of some pain I experienced and I didn't know how to process and because of something pathetic and maybe been very serious but basically I see that I was like I'm like literally imagine I'm I go into a bubble and I'm living in my bubble and that bubble is my entire reality. It's literally my entire all my relationships are based on that bubble. The day you realize that it's like omg not oh my Google like omg like wow. So like you come back and like so now you want me to take a dog seriously? So they asked him, "Are you allowed to neuter a dog?" Which is basically like, "So what? Now we're going to take the dog's needs and passion seriously?" And they use the dog because the dog is not a kosher animal. And the dog is kev. Kev is koy. Kev, why is why is the dog called man's best friend? It says in Kabala, Kev is ko, full of heart, full of emotion. So I'm supposed to take that seriously. And the procreative reproductive ability. Maybe Benzy says, "Yeah, who cares?" Ben Zimmer said, "No, you're not allowed to neuter even a dog." Wow. So, even the life of a dog, the personality of a dog, the emotions of a dog, which are for which are in the dog world, dog lovers are going to love this class. It's like, no, don't don't mess. or even siruse ka. We're not talking about siruse castrating audi a giant a giant person. We're talking about a kev the little puppy here hanging out barking a whole night making all the neighbors masha. Well, they don't bark a whole night whatever the beginning of the night. No. So they realize Ben Za did not lose that. Ben Za did not lose the respect for the integrity of our world and our relationships and our emotions. Wow, that's amazing. So now they go to the opposite. They thought maybe it's the opposite. Maybe Ben Za sees everything in magic colors. Maybe he became so aloof and so sublime. He sees things with an idealism that is incredibly lofty. So it's not that he disregards the world as bl as schmata, as gornish, as bupkas, as nothing, but maybe he elevated it to a place of paradise. Maybe he doesn't see earth anymore. Or you know how sometimes you could have a vision and see things that other people don't see, right? Different levels, you know, when they put on those uh glasses that you see different layers and it's like wow spiritually as well. And this is where they asked him, you know, and this is this is very this is very deep and spiritual. They asked him about a marrying a kang. Now the kangda is considered the holiest Jew on earth. So it's a Jew who's experiencing things in holiness and he marries a woman who is this is a fresh marriage. She wasn't married before. What's wrong with marrying a woman who was married before? It's not a in her right does not want to marry an almon and there's what's the it's not about the fault of a widow. It's the idea of the everything is fresh everything is new. Everything is is there's no previous whenever there's a second marriage, right? There's always one has to deal with a past. We all have to deal with a past. But the kudu represents that newness. And then suddenly he realizes this woman is carrying a baby. So what did they tell Benz Zima? Maybe he has to divorce her even though she says she's innocent. She says this baby did not did not come because I was with somebody else. So they said maybe she's lying. How could she be lying? The coal sees that nothing happened. She's Absoolah. And what do we say? Okay, they told Ben Za, maybe some people know how to have relations without blood. That's what happened. So really, she's lying. I there's no blood. The himman wasn't split because some people know how to do that. In other words, they can go to this place in reality without getting bloody. Not just physically, configuratively. Ben says that's not normal. That's not how people live. There's blood. There's blood. That's why there's all the connected to this. What happened was artificial insemination. In other words, this girl is trustworthy. She was never married before. What is he really saying? They suggested maybe there could be the concept of relations and procreation without blood. What does it mean without blood? Not only without getting bloody physically, also emotionally. Blood represents, you know, life pass. I'm not going to elaborate on this in this room. It's going to be a little ridiculous. But the point is maybe there's this concept of transcendence of purity. Even relations can happen that way. In other words, they thought maybe benzo looks at the world in a very magical pristine idealistic way. Yeah, we could be in this world but we don't need the regular. We don't have the regular limitations and cycles that God created and most there could be a lot of things happening including children without having being inshed with all the complexities of the monthly patterns that God created which by definition create dam create blood and create tum etc. But Z said no we do not operate on that level. This kayen is looking at somebody who was pregnant and yet she's absula. It means that it happened in a spa. It happened in anata. So suddenly they see here he wasn't saying you could neuter a dog. In other words, he was not dismissing the dog and the structure of creation. He was also not saying that and you know they're living in a miraculous way. And of course there's also a symbolism of something else. And what is it? Ben Zakiva lived in the times of the birth of Christianity. And what's the birth of Christianity? Mayh you was thinking about that. Of course, right? Exactly. The child. Oh, God is the father. What do you mean? There's a woman there. Oh, we don't need men. Right. We don't need that. It doesn't happen that way. People can be heavenly. This woman was heavenly. She was impregnated by the Lord. And we all know the results of that one. In fact, in parenthesis, I'm going to add Mosha Feinstein once said, Mosha Feinstein said he was over in Luban in Luban in Russia and there was a Jew leader in the community. He called him. He was very sick. He got a disease in his tongue and he told Raosha had the story. It's in the introduction to Igoras Marsha volume 8 and his his grandson uh Rabbi Tendler told me heard this from his himself. I went when Dr. Tendler Rabbi Mosha Tendler passed away son-in-law I went to so his son Rabbi Tendler's son told me that he heard from Mosha himself the story but it's printed in the introduction to his eth volume. So he went to visit this person in Luban and the person said that Friday night at the meal it was paras vira and he was speaking about the daughters of loit in a very derogatory way he said who does such a thing you make your father drunk in order to be with your father such a level of incest he was dismissing them that's what he said at the meal at night he had a dream he tells the marsha two women dressed dressed in white almost completely covered. Come to see him and they introduce themselves. They're the daughters of Lit. Okay, this is the 1920s in Luban, not so long ago. 1920s, early 30s. And they say to him, you spoke very negatively about us, but you should know that it's not so simple. You know that Messiah is coming from us, right? Cuz Moy, the first baby was Moy, right? And Moy is the grandfather of Roose and Roose is the great grandmother of David Malik is of Mashia. Why do you think that? And the second son was Amis comes from the second one. Why? Why do you think Mashiah comes from us? These horrible promiscuous uh law lawless women. So they said, "We knew that one day there's going to be a religion that's going to claim that a woman could be pregnant, not from a male and it's going to be a Jew who's going to start it." So we did this and we had the story publicized in Tyra. We could have also walked around and say God impregnated us. We could have also said that. We could have said God impregnated us. We said no, it was light. Until today, we're being denigrated by people like you. Every year they read our story and they're like weird, right? Why? So that we that the real M we shouldn't mistake the real Msiach with the false Mashiach. It even says from my father. Really? You have no better name at the bris. is not a good name for you. Yankl is nishgit. David is nishgit. Everybody has to know who the son is. Great. So that nobody should mistake the false Messiah as a real Mashiach. And that's why the real Msiah is going to come from us. The person passed away after Mosha shared the story. So now we come back to Ben Za. Benzo says, "No, no, no, no. I didn't go on a trip and start thinking that everybody's living in heaven. And people can do these things and become pregnant and there's no blood. Yeah, there are rear rear real unique situations. But that's not what happened here. And therefore the kind doesn't have to divorce her. So suddenly they see Ben Za did not escape the world and dismiss it as a place of meaninglessness. He also didn't romanticize life and suddenly everything is supernatural and everything is sacred. Everybody is holy. So they don't know what's the mistake of ben za what happened. So now he goes to the last story. Rabi Yeshua said why didn't you stand up for me? Where you going? Where you heading? He says I'm looking at the waters the higher water the lower water and I see there's only three fingers between them and says he's still outside. What does this mean? When they were going into the orchard gave them prep. You remember what was the prep? Don't say water. Water. Don't say water. water. What did mean don't say water? Water water. What? What's the bad? What if they say water? Water water. Who cares? So the on the bal say something incredible. What's water water? The second day of creation, the water was split. There's higher water and there's lower water said don't say. Even though the Torah says there's water, water, higher water, lower water. If you're going to go into the paradise, the biggest mistake is going to be to say twice. Why? What's higher water? What's low water? May in cabalistic tradition represents desire. It represents the orgasmic flow of desire. That's what may is in Kabala. There's something called Mayan and Mayan. May is masculine flow. Mayan is feminine flow. And in Kabala uses these words constantly. And if you don't understand these code languages, it seems a little strange. But it's not because everything physically comes from the spiritual. There's nothing in the physical world that's not rooted in the spiritual. That's why water also represents wisdom. The sea is connected to also water produces pleasure. We all know when you go to water, you go to an ocean. What's the feeling most people have? There's something calm, relaxing. We don't even know why. leak in the ceiling doesn't produce that pleasure. Even though there's a lot of water, I've had many leaks and I didn't feel calm. But when you go to to an ocean, right, you go to the beach or you even go to a beautiful lake or a river, you all know the feeling. There's something sensual, something internal like spiritual, emotional, there's a sense of relaxation. It's called there's a sense of pleasure and says, the water is the ingredient that produces everything that grows, right? All cheesecake and bopkick ultimately needs water to live. I know that's not your definition of tyog, but for some of us preparing for shv um it's very important. So mayim is associated with pleasure of intimacy with pleasure of life. On Sunday of creation there was only one water. On Monday God split the water which means essentially there's only one source of pleasure in life, one source of tenuk. There can't be any other source of tinug is connection with the source of all pleasure. The source of all pleasure is Hashem. Why is there pleasure in the world? Where how do you have pleasure? How do I have pleasure? Where is there love in the world? A mindless cell that evolved over 26 billion years. That's the new age of the universe. It changed in the last few months. You know that. No, I'm serious. It was 15.3 billion years. A few weeks ago, Newsweek said it's 26 billion years. Okay. A mindless cell evolving after 20 billion years doesn't suddenly say, "Wow, I'm in love." Love comes from a source that's loving. All the pleasure and love that we experience. Even the pain we experience, behind all pain is love. Think about any pain you have in life. Pain with your child, pain with your spouse, pain with yourself, pain with with your brothers and sisters in Israel. Behind the pain, there's love. That's why there's pain. So all that is coming from one source, the source of all love and pleasure. On Monday, Hashem splits the water. There's a higher water and lower water. What does that mean? There's two types of pleasure. There's pleasure that comes from attachment with the source and there's pleasure that comes as a distraction because I'm disconnected from the source. You understand? It's a split. There's the higher pleasure and that's when I'm in touch with this truth of reality and my only bliss in the world is dus connection with truth and authenticity. My relationship with another person is a real relationship because it's rooted in our divinity and our godliness. But then I may be distracted. I may be feeling pain and I don't know how to access that. So now I look for new forms of pleasure. So for one person it may be binging. For another person it may be alcohol. For another person it may be addiction to a phone. For another person, it may be promiscuous websites. For another person, it may be some other form of craving or inclination or addiction or distraction. It may even be anger. That's a form of numbing my pain or some fake pleasure or some fake relationship. Whatever it is, it's all those pleasures that we have in life and they're not rooted in our oneness with Hashem. So, if I'm having a juicy conversation and it's all gossip, I'm having pleasure, right? We're around the table, we're having this great conversation about some guy or some woman, it's getting better and better and better and better and better and better and better. But if you pause and you breathe and you ask your soul, how much pleasure do you really have right now? You'll know immediately this is just a distraction. No real pleasure comes from detachment from the source. It can't. It's always fake. It's like a counterfeit dollar. It's like counterfeit money. Counterfeit money is not money. It looks like money. It sometimes smells like money until you're caught. Maybe they're going to use it as money, but at some point it's just not. It's counterfeit. And that's why all these pleasures are short-lived. The pleasure I get from food or from alcohol or from gambling or from any other craving. Tomorrow I'm going to need more. And then I'm going to need more. I'm going to need more. I'm going to need more. Why? Because it's like pouring water into a hole that has a that has into a cup that has a hole. It's not going to get filled. You need tomorrow more and more and more and more. You're going to get more frustrated because you'll only see I just realized you're going to only you're going to see that you need more. Rabaka said to don't say water water. When you're going to go up to the paris the only way you'll survive is if you understand that ultimately there's a everything is one. The way we experience it here is that there's a split. That's the split we need to work through. That's the split. The whole tur came to work through that split. But essentially could come out in peace because he came back to a world where he understood that the split between the waters is a matter of perception allowing for the human being to reveal the truth with his or her own initiative. Ben Za was affected in the mindset. So they said, "Oh, maybe you don't believe in the world. It's nothing." thing. No, he says you're not allowed to cast stray dogs. Oh, maybe you think we're heavenly and magical. There's no blood. He says no. What's the issue? The issue is that there's still three fingers between the waters. So Yeshua said Za is still outside. He's why is he? He's outside. He's not touching the ultimate truth of the fusion between the waters. Which this explains what benzy himself was talking about the real concept of the dog because if we see the world as mayim may then I ultimately have to split myself into two. I have higher water and lower water. We all do. So we have to create a split and choose. Do I choose between my higher water or my lower water? Some of us go this way. Some of us go that way. Ribaka says no. Novado, we don't split between the waters. The split of the water was a preparation for third day for day three which is the third millennium mat and ty where there's going to be dry land and human creativity will emerge to be able to bring back the maya to be able to bring back the may to be able to bring back that's why mayam on on a from a from a chemistry point of view right is H2 O two atoms of hydrogen and one atom of oxygen. And that's why it's me. Y me are the atoms of hydrogen. Y is the atom of oxygen. That's why it's two mems because it's H2O. So there's two MEMS and one Y. The chemistry in in Hebrew, the words, the letters of every name are the channels for the chemistry, for the spiritual chemistry and therefore the physical chemistry. So the whole idea of may is to bring together these atoms of hydrogen and oxygen and two of them of hydrogen and when I say mayim then I need to castrate a part of me because there's a split. So either I embrace the higher or I embrace the lower or I live in this incessant war and battle between the two parts of me. comes and says you want to see the partis and come back it's the physical and the spiritual are really one. Heaven and earth are one. Soul and body are one. Love is all pervasive. Truth is all pervasive. Even the lowest parts in me and desires that seem grotesque maybe or immodest or promiscuous or immoral. And who doesn't struggle with stuff? Even there alum realize I need to dig deeper. I need to understand this is part of my mission. It's an opportunity for awareness. It's an opportunity for growth. I have to understand what created it. I don't want to break my ta into two. I want to sublimate my Maya. I want to be able to see the soul in the lower water. When you see the soul in the lower water, it doesn't mean I don't have discipline. I need to have discipline. I need to be able to say no. But when I say no, it's not because there's a shame in my no. It's a no that allows me, it gives me the freedom and the the the catalyst to be able to be in a mental space that I can elevate my lower water rather than fall prey to my lower water and ultimately create full oneness. Have a beautiful week.