Likkutei Torah Zos Chukas #3: Chassidus Thursday - July 11

on the [Music] way morning really look again they go to the homepage good refreshed it [Music] ah okay thank you [Music] we good Isaac okay huh okay [Music] okay so we had two on the first of good morning everybody and welcome we began last Thursday we continued on Monday and today we'll continue we're up to page 112 on top it says page 112 we're middle of the second chapter at the second column 112 the second column in the Hebrew it's NV column four on top it should say if it doesn't say on top you're in the wrong so we're in the second column and we are up to the words KS KS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 line starts k eight lines from the top again page 112 column two eight lines from the top thank you huh yeah yeah yeah so today's class is dedicated by Mrs Fredy Yan in honor of the Y of her beloved father Hari Weinberg yite is on Zas the seventh day of of tamos yeah Ros Weinberg R Weinberg those of you who used to listen to WD radio remember so mat shabas had a program he would teach Tanya RAB TI P tit would teach gor wab RAB P ties from Elizabeth with teach gar and then afterwards I think RAB would teach T and give over from the of the from that chabas he was uh of of uh great great communicator and uh teacher and uh for decades he was involved in teaching and spreading yish He travel the world so his daughter is dedicating this class to him he also wrote the book lessons in T from all his classes on the radio over the years they made the book and then in Hebrew and English and other languages may be a good better for for his family and for all of us and all of the Jewish people and remain an eternal source of light and inspiration thank you [Music] some an interesting story I heard from him just came into my head I once said froma he used to travel a lot and uh he um so there was once aw a Jew he knew I guess and the person had a crisis it's a big crisis in his life so the person called him up in the middle of the night and said he has a major crisis if he could ask the laich what he should do so he called up the Reb secretary I think it was rbbi khov and he said uh what what do you want me to do it's a it's a middle of the night it's late at night and uh it was already there was that night I think so there were people but everybody left already so the Reb is alone in the room now to go back in and disturb him can wait till the morning he said it's CR a crisis so he says nobody's there now take a note and slip it under the door so that's what he did he wrode it up the thing and he slipped it under the door and and he thought at some point you know theba will see a paper on the floor and the debba did and he he gave an answer he gave an answer the thing was so settled the next day he felt bad you know he put a paper under the door and that I about to bend down and pick it up he felt it was disrespectful so he wrote a letter he wrote a note it's apologizing for the way he communicates he didn't have a choice but he was just apologized so that wrote back to him this is the entire function of my life to bend down and pick up to lift up and especially those and things that others [Music] Overlook I heard this many years ago so I don't know if it's m exactly all the details I remember but this was the General thrust of the story so I guess it also fits into this because the whole of the is to lift up the animal soul of this is not that the Divine soul is Holy that we know Divine soul is of this m is even the animal Soul which we call an animal if you go back to the skeleton if you go back to the core you'll see that it's not evil it's not toxic it's not poisonous and that's the big distinction he makes between and and everything in life does the and does the you remember this was the main idea of the last class of last year is The Sur is usually is the is the material like the body the physical concrete manifestation of life and Sur is like Theus the soul the Consciousness the inner design that's one way of understanding very literally means matter and form Sur is a form so the matter and then how you sculpture the matter you can have a without a right any any any physical thing will have a shape so right away every has a but at least conceptually there is the matter itself which can take on so many different types of shapes and then there's the actual shape that gets fixed and sometimes you could change from to so the silver takes silver and he Fashions it and Designs it into a goblet into a Mana or the gold smith takes gold and Designs it in a particular Sur whatever that Sur is but The Sur is not a even though in the physical world every comes with a so what's the difference but everybody understands the is the raw material that could take on many different shapes here he's taking into a deeper place it's all the same concept but he's extending it to understanding everything there's the r energy of it and then there's the shape the energy takes on and it's so easy to confuse the two because the raw energy takes on the shape so we say that is the energy but it's not the energy he says those are the garments of the energy just like when a person dresses up in a suit or in a uniform the person is not the uniform the person is now living in this uniform and through this uniform you may wear the same uh the same attire for some people could wear it for years but it's still not the person there the now obviously the is much closer to the than the garments to the person garment everybody knows you just take off is not so easy to take off but it's the concept that the is not the it's the it's the way the is being manifested is being expressed it's like theum story you know the Kum story there was a Jew he was traveling on a train and he had to get off on the stop which would then take him to Kum so it was a a night a night Journey so he asked the conductor to wake him up a few stops before so he can get ready so he took off his clothes in the cabin that he was and he went to sleep in the same cabin there was a Russian general he also went to sleep when the conductor Woke Up This DW from he needed to get dressed and was dark so he didn't distinguish between his clothes and his neighbor's clothes and he put on the clothes of the Russian general he gets off and he goes home his wife sees him says what happened what's going on cuz he's dressed up like this Russian general so he looks in the mirror and he says yeah those Russian conductors are idiots he woke up the Russian general instead of me so it's a story but but it's not such AUM story always because it's very easy to confuse the person with the garments even within ourselves so that's what he says you have to know what's the and what's the so the neam has a lot of Personality every animal's soul is filled with personality and that's what you call your personality and the personality comes with a lot of nice things the personality could come also with challenging features and traits but all of the mid when we say mid it's expressed in so many different ways mid the word Mida we translate as an emotion but really the word Mida is measurement size a size right that's what mid mid right mid the mid of something the measurements the size of something it's the Garment why a mid called Midas and one of the explanations is because that's how you measure that's how you measure a person those are but but really now we understand because those are actually the those are the mid of the every assumes different measurements and different shapes and different sizes like different clothes and it's very easy to say this is who I am it's not this is the shoes you're wearing it's the suit you're wearing it's the tie you're wearing it's the it's the jewelry it's the jewelry somebody's wearing the pants whatever whatever the Garment is you you're seeing the the but you have to understand what's the so a person has all these different types of Midas that we develop as we explained last week and those Midas get developed obviously there's nature and then there's nurture and then there's how we react to the world and how we react to ourselves and these Midas come from one extreme to another extreme and within each person itself it's extremely nuanced and complex one person is dealing with tremendous anxiety or or or a little anxiety another person is dealing with tremendous fear another person is dealing with anger another person is dealing with depression and laziness and apathy and indifference another person is just blonde other person is emotionally detached aggressive egotistical huh happy loving happy loving extraordinary uh graceful Etc that's also part of the midis we still have such people yeah yeah talking about here spiritual and form is performance tional yeah so so does the does the spiritual content itself meaning the the raw energy what is behind the mid so in reality this person is a very jealous person or an angry person a confrontational person or an arrogant person this person is extremely fearful or overwhelmed Med or stressed or anxious so say this is my so he says it's not your this is the of the of the the raw material there's an energy there there's what he calls a me to Crave there's a yearning there's a longing that takes on a shape and that shape may become entrenched in the like a hand in a glove and that glove becomes attached to the hand and this is the only glove I know my whole life so therefore I think I am the glove I'm not the glove I am a hand that went into the glove so you say why did I develop this glove why didn't I develop another person another glove so that's because of the unique journey and challenges and nature and environment and circumstances of life of the Bahamas coupled with all of our life's experiences including of course our own genetic makeup and the gene pool that we inherit from our parents and our grandparents all the way back to and and of course the home we grow up in and all of the things what we encounter and this happens all in the most formative years of a person which that's when the ne shapes its remember you have an innocent innocent child that already begins in the womb of its mother and it has to adopt to a crazy world every sound is absorbed in the brain brain every sound all the stimuli right every s every sound the mood of the mother the mood in the home and neuro neuro today we know this in Neuroscience how how how you know neural Pathways begin to develop we have 100 billion neurons just in this little two PB three PB Jello-O brain there's like a 100 billion neurons how they fit in there you can ask God but they all fit in there 100 billion neurons just like 70 trillion cells F fit into the rest of the body they're pretty small and these 100 billion not 100 million 100 billion neurons each one has these electrical currents that carries information and gives out and they're all connected to each other and they're all monitoring everything and they develop as life develops and I adapt to all of my experiences and my neam assumes the best personality it knows to assume in order to do its job and what is its job its job is to keep me alive and keep me safe and try even to keep me comfortable on a good day and the worst mistake that says is you look at this glove and you say that's the hand it's not the hand it's the glove and that's extremely good news because that means a tremendous part of a is UN blending un blending disentangling and that's really what is you know when people see inab it's like you know here we go another level you know to put it in with SP andus and and Bri and boom close your eyes and you scream but the truth is it's the DNA of life it's called disentangling right like shabas we have the of the word comes word clear Clarity Clarity when you select and has to do with after you thresh wheat or grain and you winow it right there's a concept called ber that means it's still mixed with pebbles with dirt you know from the field so you have to select the good from the bad or the bad from the good what is that in a person's life everything is there's no moment in life where there's no is the courage and the clarity to disentangle things things the first place where I have to disentangle things is in the from the this what I'm I think I'm looking for and is what I'm looking for what I think I'm looking for is usually not what I'm looking for it's the shape my search took on and there's a reason it took on this shape your search took on one shape my search took on another shape and your search to kind of third shape and as long as I'm relating to my animal soul and your animal so from a place of I'm not relating to it I'm relating to the cover up I'm relating to the glove instead of the hand i'm relating to the L I'm relating to the outer veneer rather the raw energy and whenever I relate to that there's going to be complete complete false information because I'm not actually touching what is going on you know you see this in education like this is you you see a child acting in a certain way the worst thing to do is reach conclusions about the child based on what he said or based on the behavior I want to understand what is going on there's a drive there's a fear there's a discomfort is something being overwhelmed very often only relates to the most external thing that just happened you know whip you back into shape we don't do this I once had a conversation one of these zooms with I forgot some big education expert in Harver I know Harvard today is not such a popular word but he's a doctor Dr ablon ablon ablon he's like a big education felt guy so he told me a story it's one of the I did one of the zooms with him for Fresh Start it's on YouTube so we so so he he told me an interesting story he said I don't know if he said it happened in his house or one of his clients there was a mother and a father and they were trying to run a family and there was one child who missed the bus every single day by the time he got dressed he threw tantrums and he cried and by the time he got dressed and ate breakfast and was ready to go of course the bus has come and it was a long drive to school so this really disregulated everybody cuz somebody had to drive him to school so the parents were late to work you know how it is in the morning it's stressful and the we kids in the house also and they were just so so annoyed like why can't you just get dressed like all your brothers and all your sisters and come down and eat breakfast right so what's the natur what do you assume lazy uh defiant uh just in a bad mood uh you want to destroy your parents life uh whatever it is spoiled uh you know all the all the good words describing your Midas self-centered narcissistic selfish you don't care about your father's schedule you don't care about your mother's schedule you're going to have to drive you a half an hour and then go another half an hour to work and be late an hour and who's supposed to support you and who's supposed to pay the credit card bill yeah and how you going to have dinner if we don't go to work etc etc so they came to Dr ablan in desperation I don't know if I'm pronouncing his name correctly but uh you're from Harvard you remember Dr abon okay so it's like it's a no-brainer once you hear it but I guess it was a brainer to they probably had to pay a lot of money to to get an appointment and he said why don't you why don't you talk to the child why don't you ask don't just be curious and find out in a calm moment when everybody is calm just ask ask about it why ask did you ever do that we assume so they did that it turns out what happened it turns out that when he gets up yeah so he sleeps upstairs his parents are already downstairs the other kids get up a little earlier they're also downstairs so he's upstairs himself and he tells his mother he's scared to be upstairs himself and his clothes are upstairs and doesn't want to be there himself so he comes down in pajamas cuz he doesn't want to be upstairs himself so his mother says so what happens if in the morning I take your clothes and I bring it downstairs so you can get dressed downstairs says that's fine and that was the end of the story and he was up time for the bus okay a simple story but what does it show to show you that one of the biggest mistakes a person could make is take the outer msus and Define it and judge it and turn it into a problem case now here it's it's it's not so difficult so what's the the the he's he's Miss I'm not getting dressed he has nothing against getting dressed or being on time on the bus he's afraid of being upstairs alone and there may be a reason why he's afraid but fine I don't know that they weren't so interested in that cuz it's I don't know at the end of the world a kid is afraid being upstairs alone a little kid fine but it's just a mush of how it works so you know you can come to a conclusion and put stigmas on this kid and tell him what a bad kid he is and he's destroying the family and all the poor the poor kid's brain is just trying he he's afraid but the fear becomes selfish it becomes becomes obnoxious and comes R the kid is afraid how often do these things happen in classrooms and in homes huh so there is a difference between the but it's not a difference of good versus evil as we're going to see the so the and the is sacred the its function is to be a meaning not in a bad way its function is to give physical life its function is to keep the animal alive it's the neish that comes into the dam and that's what it's supposed to do it takes responsibility for the entire life of the organism that's that's a big responsibility shabam has a hard job what what makes it even harder is that it assumes roles that it never had to assume in its desperate attempt to keep me alive the needs to make sure I go to the bathroom when I go have to go to the bathroom I digest the food when I have to digest the food there's a blood circulation the temperature is fine there's enough to worry about this body is a very very complex being and that's the job of theam we say we come the bathro we say what's the ma ma it's a p it's a nest says ma is how the soul and the body work together how life and the body come together to create the entire system of what we know as biology and the entire whether it's the circulatory system the digestive system all of the systems in biology that's the job of theam in that it develops also a personality of how it does this remember all the mid are part of survival if my wife tells me something or if she criticizes me my neam may have encoded in the brain oh somebody criticizing you that's danger that's dangerous that's dangerous there's a lion in the room right now somebody criticized you that's dangerous Why is the is thinking like that there's a reason why it's thinking like that maybe maybe I don't know but maybe as a little kid this neam this poor little kid was criticized very very often and they knew that the consequences of not behaving in the right way could be very very negative and therefore the moment they heard or sense that criticism they went into a danger this is a danger zone and went on to full alert to be able to monitor every next detail and make sure that the consequences are not a World War so now this neam is 49 years old or 52 years old or 45 years old but he didn't grow up yet I mean he's still he's still doing that suddenly you criticize man it's reminding me of that even though it has nothing to do with this person but the brain is like this is very very dangerous so now he's up tight he's tense he gets very very upset right and he reacts the way he reacts so you could say wow you are a really really obnoxious and insecure person you could just like telling it to the child the same thing but it has nothing to do he's actually not obnoxious and he's actually not insecure he's just wounded why is that so important it's so important because it's not telling people and justifying people think that when you talk like this it justifies Behavior everybody could remain 2 years old and if somebody criticizes you you know break all the windows and tell your wife you're moving to Zimbabwe for seven months cuz she criticized you it's really the other way around this is what gives people this mare is what gives people you actually have choice you actually have agency because without that we think this is who I am and I don't know what's wrong with me why why am I so weird why am I such an impossible person I told the women this week a story that there was once a teacher who asked the students to write down on a piece of paper what they want to be when they get older so one of the girls wrote possible so the teacher says why are you writing that so she says cuz my mother tells me every day that I'm impossible so when I get older I hope I'll be able to be possible right we tell ourselves you're so impossible why can you be happy it's chabas it's yum why can you just be happy around your table why do you have to make your wife and your kids miserable and people ask this to themselves so this one goes to another shear and this one goes to another therapist and this one gets up earlier in the morning and this one gets up later in the morning never mind when you're dealing with you know all types of addictions that people are struggling with but it's not just addictions in a dramatic way it's just regular day-to-day mid that are sometimes very complicated this one is just impossible why do you have to be confrontational this one is fight and this one is flight if I'm not confrontational I have to run away emotionally why can you be present this one is emotionally detached they just shut down emotionally and this one freezes they freeze for like six months you told them the wrong thing they're frozen and this one becomes a people's pleaser they have no spine they're just saying yes to everybody all these things these are the mid these are the these are my sizes my measurements so he says don't don't disting don't make the mistake of confusing the with the it's actually not you it's the Sur that I took on and there was a reason I did but if you go to the raw energy of the ne bamas this has nothing to do with you it's a coping mechanism that we develop and all of us develop thousands and thousands and thousands of coping mechanisms in different situations and you have to say thatas is brilliant and we live our lives that way and we often have a hard time challenging it because this is who I am what do you want and it's Tak who I am but it's not who you are it's the that the took on and I get that and the whole idea that he's discussing in this m is when a person could start un blending disentangling it's a whole different world you you actually don't need this copy mechanism anymore you could thank it for 30 years of service 40 years of service 50 years of service maybe 70 years of service if you're lucky and you have this awareness maybe 90 years of service and then say and now you're dismissed I'm going to give you a good pension but with empathy because if it was around for 50 years it's not just going goodbye because you came to a she R why why wa I I was your security guard for 50 years don't just send me a because you learned for 10 minutes somebody has to protect you so you have to understand this is not such an easy job the words don't do the work the words are just trying to create a warness the work is a very very internal deep work it has nothing to do with a she with all the respect to the she but I'm just telling you the neam didn't get the memo of the she is there 50 years working very hard unconsciously more than consciously to protect so just because somebody decided that and it's cute philosophy but somebody got to take care of your organism because when you were two years old there was nobody to take care and I stepped in yes I stepped in and I took youram and I said you stay in the basement and I'm going to take over and I'm going to become one tough guy or one spineless guy to protect you it's the same thing this one became tough this one became spineless this one is spineless cuz have to please the whole world so everybody will like me and this one is tough also to protect themselves but it's the same thing this one has this this one has that s when we talk about mid bad mid you have mid you don't have mid youram for whatever reason developed a that could sometimes be very toxic very poisonous very destructive the moment you realize it's not you you could become a free person now I have now I'm possible now I'm not impossible first of all I'm possible and I have possibilities I have different possibilities what if myam could adopt a different Sur these Natures that we have are not inborn and ingrained forever and ever they're Tas that we develop over life over the course of life and again for so many different reasons and the UN blending is a blessing now I may not just be able to un blend it but at least I could be a weary of it right if a person could look into the emotion and say wow wow wow wow wow breathe into it pause reflect and say this Sur has become very extreme very intense but is that really the and you can actually I could actually see how I'm reacting and I could start distinguishing you know what just happened right now and what is the of what's Happening Now I may not just be able to discard the you know this table has a just to get rid of it is not so simple just to get rid of the I could destroy the wood I could burn the wood you know I could destroy but you don't want to destroy the the is precious you don't want to destroy the you want to be able to challenge the but not the so just that awareness and say wow look at this that itself already puts a person into a different place huh the neab is not your enemy and that's one of the the the main ideas of the one of the main I would say not much one of the main ideas of already by made it a Cornerstone in is that is not it's not a war of obliteration it's not it's an educational AV it's enlightening it it's educating it it's pedagogical pedagogical means you're not here to destroy a part of yourself I'm here to un blend the parts of myself that have become attached to myself like a dbook and I label myself with them but they're only labels and those labels may be deep but if I can disentangle you could see that your neam is actually a very very beautiful and cute and adorable and holy animal you can have holy animals the neab is actually a very very innocent beautiful adorable cute little animal that's what he's going to say where it comes from huh going to be the next piece aess way to engineer the that's a good question all the what I hear is that we have different different programs that can be exed and we overr whatever we over certain certain raw instructions is there way to debug our wow it's a beautiful question right then identify because otherwise we just going to be talking about right a way to get to engineering seven on the piano so can we get to seven notes of uh emotional instructions or whatever we call the the the variations of the so we can identify them every time and say okay yeah it's a great question can we get to the engineering part of it not just the words and the knowledge they say from the K the K one said I Shar this with you once right when you break a tyer so now you have two instead of one so a tyer a craving yeah two so now you want to break it again CU you have two so you break it again so now you have four when you break it again you have eight and then 16 and then 32 before you know it from one Ty you got thousands of ERS What would was he trying to say the didn't know about in you break your he didn't know about it well he's making fun of breaking tyers he was saying something very profound he was saying if the focus is breaking the Ty you know what you're going to do you're going to have more tyers like with the Frog you know you know when the the Egyptians decided to hit the Frog and more frogs came out the Sone once said the S he once said they were intelligent people you're hitting a frog once yeah and more frogs come out so stop he said but that's what happens when people get angry I will destroy the Frog but all the frogs are destroying you I don't care I'll destroy the Frog so I get angry at this TAA I'm going to break the TAA you just made two Tas why so I don't know if most people understand what he was saying but it's very very profound breaking the TAA is actually reinforcing the reason you developed this TAA much more than that why am I breaking this T I'm breaking this T usually I'm breaking why am I breaking it cuz I'm such a bad person I'm such a sick person I'm such an ill person I'm such a disappointment to God and to the Jewish people and to truth so I'm going to break it when you break and you destroy things that you hate that's what we break right you're supposed to [Applause] break Shak is sh all the of the sit you smash the idols you break what you hate when I'm breaking a when I'm breaking what what am I hating look at the sick man look what a sick husband I am look what a sick father I am look what a sick Jew I am right that's what people feel you know what just happened you just I just reinforced the very feelings that created the tan the first place your Tas so what happens so now the T gets much stronger now I have two instead of one now I go more cuckoo that's why nobody ever changed from insulting themselves or being insulted never happened maybe for a few days they're whipped into obedience but the internal wound is only strengthened healing happens through bitter through tick through empathy through un blending but for this you're you're with me important yeah huh this is important right but you don't need to you don't need to for this you have to believe in people you have to believe you have to believe in yourself you have to believe that God didn't make mistakes somebody told me he went into a post office he's a rabbi in Port Washington and his name is Rabbi sh there's a post office near his house so he told me years ago he went in there and he would do was mail whatever there and people still use post offices I guess so he said there was a black woman there she worked there forever and she was always happy like she always good V for everybody she had a good V she didn't call it of art but you know she was warm and you know post office is one of these depressing places you know what I mean especially when the lines are along it's like airport it goes into that category you know airports and Banks and post office I mean unless you have a lot of money in the bank but if you put in the card and nothing comes out you know these are places you don't go to hang out you go when you have to go it's not like a place of leisure so uh and she was there she would always make jokes and along lines that she would have something very nice uh so he once asked her where did you get your uh spirit from so she showed him that on her desk she had this this plaque or this sign and it I don't remember the words exactly but it was something like God made me and God no Make No Junk God made me and God no Make No Junk and she lived with this yeah not bad God made me God know right this idea that the ne Bahamas is evil that you're bad so you have to break it this is what's causing all these Tyas there's a Brokenness and that's why I'm going to break the T somebody once said don't go to the gym because you hate your body go to the gym because you love your body why what's wrong I hate my body because then you're not going to fix anything the whole premise is rotten the premise is rotten how am I going to love my body by someone else giving me a compliment oh you lost a lot of weight so now it's going to express itself somewhere else there's a dysfunction there that's why you need so much self-compassion self-love empathy in a good way but people are afraid that if you say this everybody's going to become a because we don't believe in people when you believe that your child is a then if you tell people how good they are they'll all become they're going to all take advantage from you but the whole especially of is no we believe in people God believed in you you could believe in yourself God Made You he Don't Make No Junk in a way believing that you're junk is it's the worst form of we talk about prsus about ursus people don't believe in God you know what a even the deeper form of epicurus is you don't believe that God knew what he was doing you don't believe in God's creation you don't believe in God's people that's also aurus maybe even deeper cuz I don't believe in God fun figure it out when you don't believe in yourself you're basically telling God you know you made a horrible horrible mistake believing believing yourself doesn't mean believing that everything I say is perfect doesn't mean I don't have no flaws doesn't mean I don't have to work on myself on the contrary that is the deepest work the Deep you when you people grow most when they realize how good and powerful ful they are that's where they grow cuz that's where I can let go of all these stuff I don't need it I don't want it I don't need it I'm carrying suitcases that don't belong to me it's like in the airport somebody comes over to you and gives you eight suitcases it's hard enough to take my suitcase and my carry on and my filling bags now somebody gives me eight suitcases and I'm responsible for them and there's also a washing machine on one shoulder and another washing machine on another shoulder and when I realize these are not my suitcases they're not my washing machines Fe have a good day I have a choice I have choices now but if I think I am these suitcases they're mine they're essentially mine so now what are my choices my choices are how ashamed I am of myself so this is where a person really becomes a person who has agency who has freedom who can distinguish and say this has nothing to do with me I could liberate myself from this that's not breaking a t it's disentangling yourself from the T and there's no exception this is that this is not a joke what he saying this is every neam so you say what do you mean but it says in all this form the neus is evil he's saying yeah the could be very evil I could be doing very horrible and stupid things he calls it of excrement yeah if I go to caparis and the chicken does what it likes to do on my jacket and then it does it on the other side of the jacket and then it does it on the short and I come to SCH and everybody says yeah you're full of poop but I'm not going to get insulted and go into hiding for a month I'll just take off my jacket and take off my shirt and change it right but the same is true on a deeper level the has nothing to do with the core of theas it's so interesting how much resistance so many people have to this idea whenever we talk about this I get email people have so much resistance to this idea it's almost like it's almost like they feel like this is so dangerous to Judaism it's like so such liberal leftwing propaganda it's like if I would I get up and say you're evil ah beautiful that was a good sheer that was now that's that's real yish but this why why why's liberal leftwing open-minded propaganda to destroy everything we hold sacred it's so interesting the resistance to this idea that people have it's like s this just shows us how traumatized we are by Gus this just shows us why yish becomes so negative for people it's so entrenched that when you speak another language nobody believes you they think like you cuckoo you got this from some from some atheist who wants to destroy all of Judaism like people so now you see what g g means just the notion that God is not trying to destroy you that life is about love and Oneness and Bliss but we become so used to the messages this is where Judaism has to be disentangled you know the neab has to be disentangled and Judaism has to be disentangled how much of Judaism is the and the same thing you know there's God the of God and then there's the shape that God takes on in my house in my school and in my psyche and that shape that God takes on could be a very very toxic T the same is with and with chabas and with learning G and with essay fromer toing andak and all else there's the and there's the very good and until until we don't experience the of Y without all the shapes that we gave it it's it's it's always a question of of of how guilty I am how not guilty I am how guilt completely experiencing it from within without all theas it changes everything and I'm talking about changing on an experiential level it's like you know imagine you wake up in the morning and say wow I get to Davin wow what a gift I have an opportunity to Davin today ah I'm so grateful like a DAV you're looking at me like I'm a muga right I had a friend in Yeshiva who was a very very ad person so he was sitting one night and shmooing it was night and after the S by night he's like just came from no he says Ah I can't wait till tomorrow morning it's not usually what a b says I'm like What's tomorrow morning I can't wait to say his name is Mendel Reuben he's a in OB in University he was 18 or 19 was just there was such a that's what he said from nowhere it's not like I have to I get to I have to take my kids to the zoo you don't have to you get to take your kids to the zoo I have to make shabas you don't have to do anything you don't have to do anything you could buy everything in globers I mean your wife won't look at it but you can buy it no the food is good I mean but she just likes you know everything healthy you don't have to you get to I have to do this I have to do that I have to change the words I get to do this I get to do this I get to do this I have to make a birthday party for my kid you don't have to make a birthday party nobody made a birthday party for you you get to so you say oh everything is now voluntary right every anything is voluntary we don't have to do anything a new generation God forbid nobody has to do anything you can't even make bread for you have to buy a set right used to be at least they spin the wicks for Kana Candles now you can't do that either spoiled people even the word have to it's how you say it what's the burden of of the century like NE this is where I was born or the greatest gift in the world to be able to be aligned with truth so in every in life we have to be able disentangle the from the so whenever you're dealing with a there's what I want in reality in practicality and then there's the energy behind what I want and there's never ever a without a well the takes on but never look at the and not ignore the there's always a there or as he puts it in the other language of of of of ancient philosophy of how but nothing looks like offer everything is a composite it's a hybrid of when you burn it and you left with the ashes so the are gone and now you can look at the offer itself so now let's see V okay right I told you eight lines from the top 112 second column because the truth is that the the power of craving the energy of desire in the and those are amazing words there's an energy of Desire the soul desires the soul is about desire Consciousness connections I want to live I want to be comfortable I want to survive where does this come from he says it's rooted [Applause] in eel has a vision called the The Chariot says a face on the lion on the right the face of the on the left so he says the comes which is it's it's from theim it's holy it's divine energy so understand all the energy of theam in its core is divine it's kha Ella so what happened it's not what I'm looking for something else things get lost in translation the energy from the P evolves and devolves it goes down levels and there's also a what's called a fall this there's a process known as the breaking of the vessels and when things get broken and shattered you don't recognize anymore in the fragment the hole you don't see where it comes from it's like plucking out one letter from a from a word the letter is part of the word but you don't see it anymore cuz the word got broken or taking out a note from a song the note is part of the song of The Ballad but now you don't see it as part of that song so you isolate it and you turn it into its own little its own identity so understand what means because it's a very powerful idea essentially we're all one so why don't we feel that way because something happened called means the Divine energy broke and shattered so now every piece is on its own it doesn't know that it's really one so when I don't know that I'm really one a new consciousness of separateness is created and now I need to invest my energy in consolidating that consciousness and that's what happens in the neab Bahamas the neam is the Consciousness that's born out of perceived separateness from God from Oneness and now I need to invest my energy in giving life to that separate entity so here the ego is formed for the first time I think I need an ego nobody needs an you don't need an ego you know why because ego doesn't exist ego is easing good God godliness out ego easing god out easing goodness out easing greatness out the greatness of a person is that I don't have an ego a fish in water doesn't need an ego if you tell the fish I'm going to give you attention I'm going to give you validation I'm going to I'm going to laminate you and hang you up on the wall and honor you at a dinner the fish will tell you do me a favor I don't need you to kill me let me be in the water the soul loves to be invisible in a good way the ego the need for validation tell me how good I am is a need that was created because I feel separate B is the healthiest thing in the world what does B mean b mean I'm I'm invisible you know why I'm invisible cuz I'm part of the ocean cuz I'm part of infinity that's where confidence comes from when I don't have that original confidence cuz I was plucked away now I'm alone in the world so I exist no you don't your eye is part of God's eye it's the best eye in the world you don't need another eye that's where all Bliss comes from when the eye is just a channel for for Infinity our greatest moments in life is when we lose self-consciousness when you melt away in the Ecstasy of Infinity but the def shabam is born in a consciousness of separateness so now I invest all my stocks into that and I have to build it so everybody's figure out how to build their ego so one person builds it by getting doing whatever they can to become a celebrity this one gets it this validation that validation that validation but essentially I develop a wounded IM image of self that I now invest in and my whole life may just be trying to reinforce this image and when you threaten it I got to kill you yeah that's what survival is so this is theam this is the tragedy essentially it's comes from it's passionate about truth is not bad it's a great little guy pretty big guy but there was a so now suddenly it's tyus could be to the stupidest most destructive things that are not even going to help it but that's not the pure energy of it that's What Becomes of it because of the process of life therefore I'm not afraid of your toxic love that toxic love look at the energy of it you're looking for love you're looking for connection you're looking for attachment you're looking for somebody to say that you exist so all Cravings that people have some sometimes to the worst thing you know talk about pornography and immodest images and clubs things that people do this is a classic example I'm looking for attachment I'm looking for fun I'm looking for creativity I'm looking for love I'm looking for relationships and where do I find it I find it in all these places but of course you know how much it fills the person because the next week they need more and more and more and more and more and 10 years later they can't even recognize themselves they're just completely drunk and stoned so what is it does is looking for God you're looking for truth you're looking for real relationships but I can't get that I don't even know that I'm looking for that even when I'm looking for food even a simple D like food just looking for food cuz I want to live I want to serve Hashem so you have to eat you have to drink but then you know I already ate dinner I'm good so why am I opening the pantry every 6 minutes and you know how people open the refrigerator and then they opened it again like 10 minutes later expecting that in those 10 minutes the Mana came from the heaven and filled the refrigerator with a whole new menu that didn't exist 10 minutes ago and then 10 minutes later I opened the refrigerator again what just happened in this refrigerator We Still Believe We Still we're still Bush we have so much amuna that the man is still coming down and the refrigerator somehow my wife went disappeared and went shopping and then 10 minutes later she came back from Evergreen a Wesley kosher and refilled the refrigerator the most delicious food it has nothing to do with food there's there's something there there's a is not for food the food is representing something that's the it's not the these cookies are not going to do anything for me but they represent something somehow I'll feel good for six minutes with these cookies with this cake and my pain will be feeling a little better of course in an hour later I need to get cuz it wasn't the cookies I was looking for I was searching for a certain attachment I needed a certain depth but for this you have to go much deeper you have to be really really conscious and it's it's not so easy to be conscious there's a book somebody wrote once about addiction to food I think it's titled pull over a cheer to the refrigerator and their point is whenever you're eating when you don't have to eat it's fine just watch it happen pull over a chair and watch what you're doing just watch it just observe it like put a video camera just observe what's happening you know just see and the same is true with all other types of Midas a person is dealing with anxiety that anxiety is a reaction to life is saying now we have to be anxious is to be anxious especially those special Mitzvah to be anxious but even on a regular Thursday it's not such a bad thing to be anxious that's mitab is getting something through this anxiety it's not doing it for no reason it's getting something through this anxiety usually it's protecting itself from something something very dangerous that's the what's the the is not anxiety is not anxious it's not anxious is there's a certain longing there's there's a certain uncom discomfort there there's something that's bothering it I'm yearning for it so he says whenever you can do that you'll see even the most a ra it's a toxic love that a could be a think what he's saying that a is not bad it's pure it can become a no question so think about it you looking that's what that's how you look at a Jew that's how you look at a person you're watching somebody who has love to crazy even horrible things and Al says look at the pus and you could see there already the potential for that's what hasem toldi he wanted to anoint yes's oldest son Al as a person sees the outside God sees the heart on a deeper level what does that really mean a doesn't only mean I see the physical I see the what it looks like says look at the look at the pus that's a whole different world it doesn't take away from the fact that the external facade may be very toxic but it's an invitation to be able to identify what is the real search for but you have to realize the the negative action itself that the person wants that I can't bring back I can't bring that into Holiness the only like have an expression like by earn we there's no because it's so porous the T goes in everywhere so by breaking it into pieces now it's fine now you can put it back together and create a k so he's using this example the that I'm involved in the energy behind the that can become holy that can become AEM but the thing that I'm actually blended into don't think that that could be supplemented you see this is the key difference between moral relativism and EMS yeah the M itself is there's nothing you can do with it you got to let it go you got to stop it you have to stop the bleeding we have one of the expressions of me what does mean so one of the interpretation the word is to carry to lift up like lift up the sin lift up the sin how do you lift up a sin get rid of the sin say lift up he says now we understand lift up there's an energy inside the aine that you have to lift up you have to bring back to the source the person in every sin there's two parts there's the and there's the the is the actual a that that you got to let go of that's what truth is you have to let go of that but there's an energy there's something I was getting from it that don't break don't destroy that no you say lift it up bring it back to what you really want bring it back to its source and you'll see that that very love that very passion can be directed towards K towards [Music] that's yeah yeah there's a longing there's a pining the there's a pous here even laziness a person is lazy a person is apathetic a person is indifferent a person is feeling blah a person is dealing with anxiety emotionally detached overwhelmed all these things there's the there's the actual shape of the emotion and then there's the the is what the is searching for and if you go back all the way to the source you'll see it's Kad it came down through so therefore it's hard to recognize what it is there's all the circumstances of life that turn it into what it becomes but I want to un [Music] blend now we'll understand the this aspect this is the concept of of burning the par remember what's the par the cow in the person so burning the represents allowing the to dissipate and you remain only with theer with the AER representing the core of the mid of the animal Soul which is the but the what's the is all the all the dirty excrement all the unclean garments which is what the is dressed into this I let go don't allow to be hijacked to be abducted by these garments this is taking control of my thoughts my words and my actions because thoughts are for words are for actions are for the the thoughts are not the they're the they're the containers of the I'm thinking have these thoughts whatever those thoughts are I'm overwhelmed I'm angry I'm jealous I'm resentful I'm sad I'm feeling all this guilt those are thoughts those are OAS they're C they're not they're not the energy they're carrying energy somehow these thoughts are doing something for my animal Soul there's no question no thought is born in a vacuum every every thought is born from an energy from an emotion a car needs gas thoughts also have gas there's something giving life to thoughts you told me something I now go into this whole tiate of thoughts there's some awareness there's some emotion that's behind every mid behind every there's a mid there's a the same is true words and of course actions so these are all they're they're not what is behind the thought what is behind the thought you know think in terms of parenting with children you could see this very your child says something to you disobeys says something ignores you what ever happens in your house never you should be giving the class I told you already you give the class we always looking for a perfect family so here's a perfect family at least your wife's out of the family so now when we think about this right we have the the so someone your your child says something or doesn't say something and you right away have all these thoughts right whether it's angry anger resentment or the or you start saying things can you pause and ask yourself and I know what the thoughts are but what are behind the thoughts what just happened for me become curious why am I reacting this way in my mind why do I want to burst out screaming you're so spoiled you get everything in this house get out of this kitchen if you can appreciate me what what just happened so you ready say I get it I I hear that let's go a little deeper what what is this what what is this triggering you and why is this bothering you so much so they'll say what do you mean because it's a there's aah okay so so you really so you care about this child you want to be very good beautiful so now let's understand are these thoughts going to actually help you build this child's ability to be a better person pause pause and go a little deeper at some point I believe many of us will figure out that this child just triggered a wound there's a wound there you know if I have a burn here and you come to me and you put your hand Shalom there's a burn there's a burn there's a burn there and and and and something happened which is fine but what we suddenly realize is that the the and the are not the same you know maybe I desperately needed this children to give me because I could feel like I'm a good person I'm not a failure so actually I want to use these kids for my uh my issues maybe that's what's happening so if I actually follow through with these and these and these I'm not going to help these kids I'm going to help numb my own pain that I never realized a mother came to see me and she was telling me that there's a relative of hers who's always worried about one of her children constantly and she says this relative of hers is full of pain but never acknowledged their own pain so she puts her pain on everybody else and it's very hard because till I don't acknowledge my own pain so now I'm responding to you and I want you to help me deal with my pain so I'm completely not even relating to who you are and what you need what happens if I can pause and I could look at the Behind These and say yeah you know what I need this child to make me feel good and look good and that's what's happening and that's why I'm very very angry wow okay I get it my neam is wounded I never felt accomplished and I thought my kids are going to bring out what a good person I am and they're not wow so my this has nothing to do with this has to do with my own little neam that is very wounded because it never got the validation that needed and now let me ask myself deeper what do I really want with this child is there another part you say I want I want to be loving I want to be helpful so now what words are going to be most helpful to build up this child to actually help them in their own life and very often we'll see I don't need to react this way but it's always about burning the PO in other words going back to the source of the the and the and then the itself can calm down a person has to be able to close his eyes not to look at I have to stop the bleeding I have to discipline myself whether it's seeing oring hearing cuz if I don't do that if I don't disentangle myself from this from these things that I'm looking at from these things that I'm hearing from these I can never disentangle so the first thing is you have to stop the bleeding if I continue if I'm continue to be in mesed in this behavior I'm never going to be able to begin to this entangle so the first thing is I have to take control of my life this is called es scaia I have to take control you can't even begin to know your neam if you're in mesed in these behaviors and these thoughts and these words and these actions you say yeah but I'm really holy you're really holy but you're never going to know how holy you are because you're completely hijacked so this is a very critical step the critical step is stop stop the bleeding before we identify the infection inside the body which is causing the bleeding we first have to stop the bleeding cuz if not by the time we find the infection you know you could call thead emergency room is not a place to heal infections it's a place to stop the bleeding that's the first step if my neam is going crazy I'm looking at whatever I want to look I'm hearing whatever I want to hear every T is going in that direction it takes me then there's no beginning of any then you can't heal there's no disentangling there's no because it's completely one big mess and so this is a very hard part it's only when I start this disentangling in practicality that I could then start searching for what the core of the issue is that's what he says this is called a scaf what it's called the scaf that the person is the the person is the which the in which this R is the containers which carries this R so I burn the say the the part I push away the K meaning I'm not gonna allow these vessels to capture my animal Soul that's like burning the par I have to get to the core of the energy the only way is if I completely un blend it from all of its expressions and it's hard because it's so used to running into these places these are the this is the Sur can you take it away from these shapes this is not an easy part because if I disentangle it now you could look at the ashes themselves then you can get to step two which is transformation give me a second you ready okay I'm going to come now okay by yeah yeah as long as the habits are continuing I can't transform anything that's why there's a SCF and then there's a SCF means to discipline yourself subdue means to transform but one leads to the other we don't subdue because we want to break and Destroy we subdue with a love with with an empathy with an understanding that these behaviors or these thoughts or these words even though I'm craving them they're not really who I am and therefore they're not helping me and therefore I'm not going to go there but that didn't transform it yet but what it does is can you start recognizing the inner voice behind them as long as I'm following with all these addictions I can't recognize anything because I have a number this one is big ing this one is storming out of the house this one is going on computers or telephones or iPhones this one is running here I have numbers all my numbers are in place stop numbing disengage stop numbing and then you could start feeling ah I want something I need something oh what do I want but that's very hard because we right away our never has developed all these shapes so he we we know what you want just do this no no no no no no this is where a person needs to be able to put a break and say I'm not going not to this not to this not to this I'm not going to go into these unclean garments and then when I could separate that now the next stage happens and that's where the amazing magic of transformation happens where the can actually be reoriented and it's an incredible think but it'll never happen without aafia esaia is not repression esaia is the awareness that this is an external part that has hijacked me and therefore I'm not going to fall prey to it but I want to I understand that I want to this is my coping mechanism but I'm not going to go there with thoughts it's sometimes the hardest because actions you could say okay I'm not going to do this action I'm not going to go to this place but thoughts how do you stop thoughts but it's the same thing really thoughts are also actions we don't think of it that way but thoughts are actions they're different types of actions but they're active active in actions it's with it's with compassion to be able to look at these thoughts and not allow ourselves to go down that rabbit hle watch the thoughts but don't become part of those thoughts it's like almost having compassion wow you are very anxious today wow wow these thoughts are so wow it's almost like somebody coming to me and saying you know I'm thinking that I want to kill you I'm thinking that I want to burn down this place I'm thinking that I want to I want to do this and I'm like wow these are intense thoughts could you do that to yourself wow these are interesting thoughts these are these are powerful thoughts I'm sorry that this is where you really are going like this is you really feel you're going to be protected some like it's like quarantining them you're not your thoughts no these thoughts are reality they're not reality they're the Kum for a particular R of the an energy that's somehow getting its life force through these thoughts that's the so you restraining them that's the first yeah I I wouldn't use the word restrain I would use the word being aware of what they are and having compassion and empathy for them but not allowing them to Define you and taking your whole Essence with them like almost watching a current and it's painful because these thoughts are very very active and I have to expand my vessels to make space for them with empathy just I have to make space for them make space for them because right now I can get rid of them but what I could do is I could put them in the context I could put them in the context of aam that is looking to these thoughts in order to fulfill its desire but these thoughts are not helping it it's not what it's look really looking for okay we'll take a break here is will continue the M on Monday morning 7:45 everybody have a beautiful and uplifting and meaningful and disentangle the day I'm here for shabas B [Music]