Protect the Relationship

[Music] I teach but sometimes couples come also for a piece of advice so very often Jewish couples who come to see me or send emails there's usually they want me to solve and deal with an argument that the husband and wife are having so they come to Rabbi why when they say who's right should we go for pesach to his parents or her parents should we go Shoppers here do we send our kid to this school or this school this school is more modern but this school is less modern but etc etc etc etc am I supposed to know who to side with I always say listen I don't know the answer you're both intelligent adults you'll figure it out I'm just going to tell you something more important okay whatever you decide make sure that after that decision is made then this argument is over your relationship is intact and was not damaged because that is what matters will you go pay safety new and me okay here they eat chocolatey they don't eat chocolate here you still squeeze oranges and hair it's like no way what's more important is pesach is going to be over you don't want your marriage to have been affected by that that's what people don't realize we can argument I could [Applause] I could both lost if the relationship was damaged I want to say this with my students same thing maybe my decision to behave towards my students should be this maybe my decision should be the opposite decision there's so many different approaches one thing whatever the decision is I want to make sure that at the end of that decision at the end of the year at the end of the conversation whatever the assignment I want to make sure that this child has not lost the feeling that I love them I'm dedicated to them I'm loyal to them and I am authentic with them and all of these qualities are a thousand percent in full and sinful of art because if that's missing maybe I'll get them to do the test whatever it is but I just pulled out the foundation [Music] the yeshiva.net