Doritos Short Film

YOU KNOW IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE BOTHERED MY PEOPLE AND IT’S KNOWN THAT ANY GOOD PURITZ NEEDS TO HARASS THE TOWNSFOLK FROM TIME TO TIME I NEED TO THINK OF A GOOD IDEA I KNOW WHAT I’LL DO I’LL KICK THEM OUT OF TOWN GENIUS THEN WHO WILL I TORTURE? MAYBE I’LL THROW THEM INTO THE DUNGEON (prisoner) IT’S TOO CROWDED! (prison crowd) IT’S TOO CROWDED! SILENCE! NEH IT’S TOO CROWDED YOU THINK I CAN RAISE THE TAXES EVEN MORE? HE NEVER HELPS ME OUT I HAVE TO HANG OUT IN TOWN THEN I WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO SERVANT! SERVANT HERE HE COMES WORLD’S GENIUS AFTER SCREAMING TEN TIMES HE UNDERSTANDS RIGHT AWAY COME WE’RE GOING TO TOWN A TENTH? A TENTH? (stage play banter) NOW I KNOW WHAT I MUST DO I, THE MIGHTY PURITZ COMMAND THAT WITHIN 7 DAYS ALL CITIZENS MUST HAND OVER THEIR YUMMY DORITOS TO ME YOUR BELOVED PURITZ EVERY BAG AND EVERY CRUMB WITH NO EXCEPTIONS! ALL DORITOS TO THE PURITZ! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED HERE I’M SAD AND I MOURN TODAY I STILL ATE DORITOS AND NOW THE PURITZ WILL DEVOUR IT I LOVED MY DORITOS SO VERY MUCH BARBECUE, SPICY SOUR, AND HOT- SAUCE BUT NOW I MUST GIVE IT TO THE VILLIAN RIGHT AWAY HOW DO YOU LIVE WITHOUT THE DORITOS CRUNCH IT’S HERE! SERVANT, IT’S HERE! SERVANT! SERVANT! AHHHHH MY DORITOS! IT’S EMPTY ANOTHER ONE’S EMPTY IT’S ALSO EMPTY THEY’RE ALL EMPTY! SERVANT! GEI KRACHEN