Achieving Unity in the Jewish World - Chareidi versus...

good evening everybody I I don't think I don't remember if I was here last uh last month but either way it's good to be back at Arava and it's good to see that all of you have taken time to um uh to come and learn Torah and it's important to you and I hope to make tonight worth your while so my name is benan clat if I haven't had Theus of meeting you before and um and I like to say that this year is sponsored by www.shabbat.com that's my website and what do I mean by sponsored by shabbat.com no shabbat.com is not paying for it but I just uh like to promote it because it's and and all over the world so um tell people about it each week uh 6,000 people get invited to shabas which is an awful lot so um that's shabbat.com so tonight's talk is called Love is in the detail and that's sort of a vague title very often I give vague titles in order to leave me a little bit of a wiggle room depending what's going on in CLA at the moment and what do I want my audience to hear and when I say my audience it's not just you but I'm very aware that when I speak over here it comes out in Torah anytime and thousands of people watch it and therefore what does CLA need to hear now I am not a rashab bahag so it it would be sort of presumptuous of me to say that I have the answers for what CL needs to hear I'm just a babus and I can tell you based on uh what I feel and um what I hear on the streets in in my house what what the issues are at the moment and I think the title is appropriate Love is in the detail now when you hear that title you think we must be speaking about us Andes and we're speaking about the details of the Mitzvah that would be your obvious conclusion the truth is uh I was thinking of speaking about that but that's not going to be my talk tonight uh we're going to speak about a different kind of love and a different kind of detail we're living in historic times and what's going on now in the news has us more than just a little bit confused there is a term for from people that is used by Israelis by people who are secular and even by people who are from and the term is called K now if you grew up from and I would have asked you perhaps 2 years ago how many of you are K I think most of you would have put up your hands I want to do a little experiment how many of you are K just for the audience over here we have like six people raising their hands so there's been this amazing perhaps scary shift and the question is is it Sam Antics or has K come to mean something else and how has that interfaced with the rest of CLA Israel and what is it about that term that has most of you keeping your hands at your side when we use the word Ki what is it now we know that the Press is notoriously unreliable and they will use whatever word uh fits their agenda so if somebody has something very strong that they believe in in Judaism they're called Ultra Orthodox Ultra like toothpaste Ultra bride we're Ultra Orthodox we do things in an ultra away I'm not I'm not quite seeing the ultra you you you know how the you know how the media does play both sides of the coin for example in the in the Israeli media the religious don't go to the Army but that's ridiculous because the Army is full of religious people no when they mean religious they mean the k they don't go to the Army but of course the Army is full of people who are uh who are Shas it happens to be so so therefore they're not called the religious except that when the media wants to speak about settlers they say the zealots or the ultra religion religious who camp out in these settlements except that those are not those are actually those people who serve in the army that they didn't want to include in K but now all of a sudden they are including them so depending how they want to use the ultra term Ked is one of those terms that over the past few months we have come to shy away from and perhaps the imagery demands it for we've heard of stories in in Ramat bees we've heard about spitting on little girls or saying nasty things or pushing people to the back of buses and being intolerant just today and just just to understand that when you've got the secular or even religious crowd speaking about k a certain way just today the United States government issued a warning you heard about this unbelievable the new warning that just came out today was that tourists who are touring Israel and are coming to Jerusalem should make sure to dress modestly because if they don't then the the ultra religious May harass them and stone them so the US state department has advise us tourist to dress theistically in Yus so they're doing what the what you know what May's not been able to accomplish that's what's going on here but there's something about it that we're really uncomfortable with because we say look we all agree with itus I mean at least everyone here in this room you're dressed in a away and even if you have a and we all have n and I know for a woman the something little tighter fitting elusive it's a big new sign but you understand that there's an an optimal State of Affairs which is that you should be dressed theistically that's the goal that's the goal that you want to reach even so we cringe at a reaction of spitting on someone because they're dressed a certain way or even embarrassing them right isn't that true don't we cringe and when we hear a group of people who are really out there and they're they just will do whatever it takes to get their way so we pull back well that's not us so who are we are we diti are we Ki are we modern are we from are we yish oh my goodness gracious did you know it's really tough and you never really have to think about this until you fill out a uh a sh profile online and then all of a sudden you got it I'm a modern orthodox mmir internet with a filter but I'll use a gisha filter you know you've got all these this juggling act you try to identify yourself but the one thing that that today at least because of what has happened around is that we're staying away from is this word K and I think we need to figure out should we be staying away from it or maybe K is a good thing and what they are doing maybe is even K it's something totally different that the media has stamped as if they're the H calling it K and K is an actually it's a wonderful thing okay it's very confusing now in order to make heads and tails of what Ked is I would like to start off saying the following a person has has to be in love withes we've often said Judaism is not a religion it's a relationship and if you haven't heard it go to the Tor anytime bunch of videos who speak about this idea we're in a relationship now if you're in a relationship there's a famous mush the mush comes from the D maged and used it for something a little bit different but it it applies over here as well and the musle goes like this there's a very wealthy man whose youngest son was getting married so he calls his two other he has two other children one who's very wealthy one who is very poor he calls the wealthy son in and he says listen for my covet I want you to come to Thea looking your best you your children your wife and therefore buy the nicest clothing the nicest dresses rent the limo and tell your brother also so I will pay for everything I want you to come dressed to the nines so this guy comes home tells his wife guess what Dad said he said we can dress any way we want we could buy designer Italian suits we could buy beautiful dresses and they'll pay for everything so they went out and they splurged and they bought and they bought and they and and they the kids were dressed each one looking like little prince princes and princesses the day of the came they hired their limo they're driving to the C and all of a sudden that brother says one second my other brother I forgot to call him so they pass by the other brother and say listen I don't know if you know I was supposed to let you know the wedding is today you were allowed to spend whatever but it's too late just hop in the limo so he says I'm not dressed and we don't have anything to wear look you got to come to the wedding come so here in the limo is this wealthy family that's dressed beautifully and then this poor family that didn't even have the opportunity to buy new clothing to buy new dresses and they're sitting in the limo as well and the father is waiting by the H hall waiting for his other children to arrive the limo pulls up they open up the door and out comes his first family and his father he's standing there all proud yes look at my children look how beautiful my grandchildren little princesses and princes amazing beautiful I'm so proud and then came the second family and they come out of the limo and they're dressed in tattered clothing with patches and it doesn't fit and it's dirty and it has stains on it and it's worn and it's used and each one comes out looking more pathetic than the next and this father it looks at them and he cringes in Horror oh my goodness what's going on well the wedding went on and the the end of the the wealthy son comes into his father and he says okay Dad I did what you said please pay me for uh for everything that I bought here's the bill the clothing the limo the dresses it's all here and the father said I don't understand what are you giving me he said Dad this is the bill you said I should charge you for everything that you bought that that we bought for the wedding the father says I don't know what you're talking about' He says Dad you said anything I buy for the wedding you're going to pay for Dad I spend a fortune so the father says you're totally mistaken I I don't think you understand I didn't say anything that you buy for the wedding I said anything that you buy for the wedding in my honor I will pay for you didn't buy this for my honor you didn't buy these beautiful dresses and suits and limos you didn't do it for my honor if you were concerned about my honor you would have told your brother about the wedding you would have made sure that they were dressed beautifully that would have been an honor to me you didn't care about my honor you just wanted to buy on my dime you're paying for everything when we go up to Sham of esam and we're going to show hasem the beautiful Mitzvah that we did we're going to show him the shabas and the and the and everything and is going to say beautiful I we say where's my scar I say no no no t for what you did in my honor but Hashem I did it in my I did it in your honor say if you cared about my honor what about all my other children are they not my honor are they not my children do I not care about them I care about them so much if you cared about my honor you would have done done something about them as well so the first question a person has to ask themselves when it comes to being a cani when it comes to being a k is are you doing it for hashem's honor and what you are doing is it accomplishing hashem's honor if it is not if there's no honor to hasem I don't know it doesn't sound like this is the K that AES is looking for what does the word mean tremble tremble to tremble trembling tremble it's an interesting thing in the secular World they like to speak about the as people who tremble as if were some kind of psychotic neurotic oh says eight and this was seven and a quarter oh it says Kaz oh my goodness this is right you can't you can't toar but right and we're neurotic about everything in Judaism we tremble because we don't know how to handle ourselves and we're not down to earth and we totally totally don't get whates has in mind for us that's how the world looks at us but that's not what the world that's not the word really means what do you trembling about what are you trembling about are you trembling because you're worried that a is going to Smite you with a with with a lightning bolt I spoke at Penn State last week or two weeks ago and I said how do you picture God so one of them said I picture a man in the sky these are not religious kids obviously I picture a man on the sky with a Long White Beard and he has a desk with a button and if I do anything wrong he smacks on the button and there's a trap door where I'm standing W you know the cartoons that's God God with his trap door I think well you still have way too many comic books you know hi we got you right the old days used to be a lightning bolt today it's a trap door with a button right the reality is we're not scared of punishment because if if our fear if our trembling was that kind ofes besides that would be a really good Madre to be on for ourselves but if that's the optimal if that's what Hashem wants then guess what we are in a dysfunctional relationship CU what kind of relationship is worried about getting smacked in the face right I make my husband what he wants so that he doesn't belt me call the authorities right that's not a relationship that's called abuse right of course but that's not the that we're talking about when we speak about trembling what are we scared of it's simple when you're in a a relationship and it's not going well what are you what are you scared of you're scared of the relationship dissolving you're scared of the relationship dying you're scared of getting the silent treatment you know and the AR KES the Kim stand for us and aesu and when we and aesu are not doing well together what happens to the Kim they turn around silent treatment I'm not speaking to well I'm not going to speak to you either that's the fear we tremble not out of fear of punishment but because we want so badly to have amongst us we want so badly to have with us we want nothing more than that that's what we're afraid of even by the way the punishment that it speaks about in the toorah that punishment what is that punishment the result of it's not oh Hashem is going to make your enemies 10 enemies chase after a thousand enemies and you're going to eat up your children and all sorts of horrific punishments but if you look carefully in the it explains no the punishments are all about what does carry mean kry means it just happens by itself imer if you want to interact with me in a carry way in a way that when random randomly exactly random it just happens it just happens you know what if that's how you want to interact with me I also will treat you as if it's random I will let life attack you without my protectiveness without without the protection of Hashem and guess what there's only 15 million Jews there are 7 billion non-jews and if Hashem takes away his protection guess what we're toast there's no way there's no way so all the punishments are simply not having a relationship with Hashem understand that it's interesting that in thees in the month of a it says we have a bad masle and the r says what do you mean I thought Jews don't even have masle a masle how could we have a bad masle in the month of a if we don't have any masle whatsoever so the RV says that's the masle the masle is that we have masle that's the bad masle it's bad masle for a Jew to be locked into masle because we lose the protection of Hashem so when we speak about we're not speaking about black coats we're not speaking about long payers we're speaking about someone who wants more than anything else to have a connection to that's what we're talking about now let me ask you something the first bdash was destroyed because of the gim we did the correct and how long was that destroyed for 70 years how was it and it was rebuilt the second B mikash was destroyed more than 2,000 years ago and it still is not around and what was that a result of it comes out that by creating hatred amongst Jews what are you actually doing you're taking away the so what is means you're scared of not having you're scared of not having that relationship and yet by the very acts that you're doing you're stopping the bamas from being rebuilt and therefore we're further away from from from mashiach than we ever were we keep pushing mhia off these very the very act that we're reading about these acts these are not acts that bring mhia close if you're trembling if you're so afraid of not having a connection to Hashem then don't do things that chase Hashem away do things that bring Hashem back now there is such a thing as trying to become as from as you can to take your the way that you grew up and to add on to it whatever it is to add on to it to be a little more sistic to be a little your doing should be a little bit better you should stay away from L heart a little bit more but what happens if that from kite then makes you go around and look at other people and sort of destroy them with your gaze remember ofai 12 years in the cave 12 years he comes out and he looks and he sees a man plowing the field he looks at that field and bursts into flames what you came out to destroy my world get back in the cave he comes back out a year later and he sees a person holding these two myrtles these two two he's holding two and he and he says what are you holding them for z Oh and he was able to be at peace now it's an interesting thing you all know the story right it's an interesting thing why did he have to see the person holding these two Hadas why not he went back into a year to cool off in the cave he came out now he was better that didn't happen he came out a year later and then you had to see this person holding these two hadasim that he didn't know why they he was holding them and then he was okay H it was a result of being there right it was a result of was a result of the planting the year before that I didn't hear I I didn't hear that good he had to the practi he had to be in the same test but react differently so there he saw this and but on the other hand what he saw this time was different than when he saw the first time because obviously must have worked on himself in that so presented him okay so Hashem certainly presented him Hashem presented him with a KRA that he had never seen before with a Min with a h Mitzvah whatever you call it that he hadn't seen before and this is one of the great secrets when it comes to loving Hashem and loving his people and this is going to be our first secret of the night there are going to be two Secrets tonight and this is secret number one when we look around at other yeden and by the way for this talk I'm going to be speaking about sh shabas heden but they're all different types right people who are not J shabas they have their own battles we love them just as much and we're rooting for them and we try to reach out for them but when I'm speaking about the like what was going on in Raad ches where there was a from school of girls it was a from school but it wasn't the level of from kite or was something was rubbing them the wrong way and it created this dissension here is secret number one secret number one is every group within clol has issues that they excel in and also has issues that they need to work on and no one is immune to this and the joy of seeing how each and every yid does what they do so beautifully so marvelously with so much devotion that is how one can come to love another yid not to worry that each yid is not doing exactly what I'm doing and this is a tremendous amount of maturity that's needed to hear what I'm what I'm saying now you see we grow up a certain way let's say we grow up I grew up and I walk through the old city and as I'm walking through you know I love going to I'm walking through the the the Roa you've been to the Roa you remember the Roa you take a beautiful walk on the way to the kis you get to the center there's the new sh that they built where the KVA was then you keep going you got Burger Bite and then you got Bagel Hole and you keep going right you go a little bit to the left you got a Torah then you got this random lion remember that random lion who knows what the who put the L lion there but the Lion's sitting there people put stickers on the lion they take pictures by the lion what's the lion doing oh but there's a very nice SW store over there right which is much bigger than it looks from the outside right they come in it's looks small wo it's very big right beautiful place the Roa who just who doesn't love to be in the Roa except that if you grow up let's say yeshivish like me you look around and uh one second there's these modern modern Orthodox people I don't know oh there are these breast oh they're nuts oh kabad guys oh mashia don't even get me started oh these people are are totally oh he's them but you know there and what you do is you slice and you Dice and you Whittle away at who is Jewish and who's acceptable and it turns out in the entire Rover there's like three people that are acceptable in your eyes and everyone else is misguided NE that's what ends up happening to yish I'm telling you for Yeshiva shagi I'm telling you as the Yes Man there is nothing more confusing than coming onto an eged bus and seeing a a a 17-year-old boy with a kuga and long P learning like we don't know he's learning so he's modern but he's from okay but at least he's trying maybe one day he'll put on the black hat you know maybe not it's confusing it's confusing and it takes a tremendous level of maturity to understand the following idea how you grew up within yish kite is right for you and you must not abandon it and if you abandon any of it you are being Pur together if any of my sons were to take off the black hat it would be Prett together because they grew GRE up with that their yish kite was part and parcel now if they decide to so we'll deal with it and then you know that's you know every person has their but at least that's their starting point this this boy in on the Aged bus that wasn't his starting point he is not any less from for not wearing a black hat he grew up on a moshav he sings Friday night until midnight beautiful nunam he comes to sh in short sleeves because that's how his family does that's how they do it in the mhab he tries to watch his mouth from lashara and he could be just or even more beloved in hashem's eyes than me or any Isa guy and it's not because his good outweighs the fact that he doesn't wear the black hat no that's not what I'm saying I'm saying how he grew up is right for him and that's his starting point and within yish kite there are many many many factions there are many groups and each one has their M how they grew up you know it's interesting when I go to ER with a group so often we'll go to a hotel for shabas I will go to the hotel and there'll be a Sho at that hotel and the Sho of that hotel there'll be like a bar mitzvah there and some Israeli family rented out a little part of the hotel and they'll be there with their extended family and friends and you'll come come to to the sh and they'll all be with Kipas they'll all be with the blue short sleeve shirts stening they'll all be on time to ding of the Shiva guys rolling you know whatever we end up rolling in they sing and they dance and they're into it and it's right for them are we mature enough to understand that something can be right for someone and not right for us without judging that's the ultimate in maturity this is what the shat were all about Rabbi Miller Vida Miller says that when the came into MIT they were separate and they did not enter Mary while they were in MIT they stayed separate throughout their time in M because each one had their own Tas and they understood they had their own Tas and didn't look down at Zen as a bunch of baltim no V is there they're not just Baba they're there because they have a very big T kid and Zan didn't look up to you s necessarily because they're the Learners they said look you're doing your tkid I'm doing my T kid and done as his T kid and Ruben has his to kid and le' has his tkid and each one of us have now don't mistake me I am not saying that everything within yish kite is okay this is not a message for pluralism if you hold on to Hal and you have a rebi and you have a m that's all I'm referring to and we know this by the way we really know it in our hearts my sister married ay so guess what my sister eats corn on PES and rice you know what would happen if someone dumped rice in my food on PES but she's less from than me she she eats rice and I don't no of course not what was right for them is right for them and I'm mature enough to know that what's right for them is what they should be doing and that would be wrong for me it's something we must think about because we're so into us and them we walk into a bar Park and we see the and the even see each other I mean I'll tell you a dialogue that I saw which would blow you away there was a and a mavik and they were speaking to each other you know these Israeli K and this uh you know the the made some sort of a comment like you know us were the former and says I don't think you're for her at all I don't know what you're talking about he says what do you mean I mean look he says what because you're extra I said the guy said I'll Grant you I'll I'll grant you that you are better at s than us I'll grant that to you that's our new Sayan and sometimes our wives or our daughters wear sleeves that are shorter above the elbow I'll Grant it to you but guess which group doesn't miss manil it's us guess which group holds of the RAM and makes yesu Mitzvah right the ra every step in we value this Mitzvah to us this is our you guys you know yeah whatever yeah come for Yesa leave so are you the M or are we the're there's a lot to be said about that that's not there's another group each group has its n and each group has its Mila the question is are we mature enough to be able to create this because if we can't if we can't look at at at at another yid and view the beauty in that yid you know there's a I mean is saying they say why is it that we say shal thank you for not making me a why don't we say sh he say because we would get into every fight in the book well I'm the yid but you're not the yid look at me I'm not you're so the one thing we could agree on is that uh that we're not a guy but who's a I don't know we we we we duke it out it's the craziest thing you want to know the issue the issue is that we're not mature we can't look at another yid and see value in what that yid does we just have a tough time so that is Step number one that is rule number one guide number one what is right for you how you grew up is how you should be following it is hopefully you have a good Mur you you learn from your parents you have rabam it's right for you and if you deviate there are questions that must be answered but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone else and what they how they grew up is Right them that's number one now I'm going to say something that's maybe even more powerful than that there's a secular author named Steven kovi and he says the following within relationships relationships work like a bank account how bank accounts work you have a bank account you make a deposit so I'm going to make a deposit and I'll make a deposit of $200 the next week I come to the bank and I write a check for $5,000 I want to cash it is the bank cashing my check no what will the teller tell me you cannot cash a check of 5,000 if you only deposited 200 so Stephen kovi says relationships work like a bank if you want to make withdrawals in the relationship you have to make deposits and if you didn't make deposits you cannot possibly make withdrawals there's nothing there to withdraw how much more so does this apply to relationships within religion you want to make a withdrawal you want to tell this at this lady this lady Soldier please we uncomfortable can you please go to the back of the bus we we're more comfortable with a separate seating then make deposits in the relationship the big problem is not what we're comfortable with we have the right to say I'm uncomfortable with a certain thing I have a certain certain laws right I certain things I'm even allowed to impose on you if I do so like a mench but I'm not going to be listen to unless I made deposits and by the way when it comes to religion it's not a one for one deposit it's at least 5 to one it's called the five to one you make five deposits you invite the secular je over for shabas you're there when the secular Jew needs you needs your assistance you're there for them and they know that you've got their back then when the time comes and this k Community wants to make a withdrawal then maybe they'll have a listening ear the big problem is that the k Community doesn't make deposits but it makes withdrawals so what do you think the reaction is going to be how do you think they're going to react of course they're going to be upset and don't tell me that a person cannot make deposits I had this of spending the day with a man named RAB y DAV grman from mdal or mdal I brought a group of students about 42 students from all over the world in a group called The Jewish student leaders and we went to to visit we were trying to cultivate leadership on campus and we brought them all over the place we gave leadership seminars but nothing did it like RAV grman when they left they were crying you know what RAV grman is let me I'll give you the very brief biography he is a man straight out of Mayar he's a sixth generation Yushi with beautiful hress upon him a beautiful face a long long Snow White beard and beautiful immaculately curled pis and after The Six Day War he told himself Hashem must love the Jewish people and therefore I want to do something for Hashem so he went to this town called migdal amch one of the most crime ridden towns in all of AR Israel a City full of dropouts a City full of drugs abuse and he goes into the Disco Hall and when he walks in people looked at him and they said oh you probably on the way and you were traveling and you have yard site or you need to say Cottage so you're looking for a minion is that what you're doing here he says no I moved into your community they said why cuz I want to be here with you and if you look there's a beautiful video about a half an hour video about mcdc and a few days later these these bums these dropouts are dancing to this disco music in the Disco allall with RAV grman on their shoulders dancing he's up there they don't know what to do this Rabbi who's so full of love and acceptance and then a little while later he rents out a small little classroom and he finds eight 18 kids from broken homes and he invites them and they come and they begin to study with him and he builds this amazing amazing Community from from preschool from Nursery through elementary school and high school he teaches them them Torah he helps them get a job he even made a deal with the Army to delay for 2 years to allow them to get two more years of Torah under their belt and then yes they go to the Army and when they go to the Army now they're they're much more resolved to keep Torah because they've had those two more years where they were mature where they learned today migdal AMC has 6,000 people currently enrolled in from the nurseries up through uh training school 6,000 and a walks through mdal amch not like a king but like a father and he tries to learn their names and if you look at the kids mic none of them look Kish he didn't try to mold them after his image he just want he just wanted to give them the Gift of Health the gift of Torah he wanted to give them all of these gifts combined in the most beautiful way and in the interview there was a guy said look he doesn't care whether I'm religious or not I just want he's just looking out for us now between you and I does he care of course he cares but if he can if he can reach out in a way that this grown man says he doesn't care that means he is showing unconditional love he is making five deposits and when the time comes to make a withdrawal he's able to he goes to the prisons he makes deposits why is it so hard to understand why is it that Us in America we get it go to may go to these communities and tell them you want to influence you want to teach make deposits in the relationship make deposits the B zerba the b zerba in uh ER isal is very against should I wait I'm going to wait because I I it's not is the battery gone does the world need to hear this can bring it next I've been begging them to get me the power [Music] [Applause] okay we we we you know maybe maybe it's a Simmon do did it just go I think so because I just noticed now that it was good good we'll finish the truth is I have I had a story we're g we're actually going to finish because it's 10 I I I think like this I think like this with these two rules that we just we just stated over here very obvious a that there are places there's a mukum for each and every person out there in their if they are sh they're keeping to be able to look at the at the Kik at the at the breast liver at the labure and it doesn't mean we have to agree with everything but to understand in a certain way if we are there to rip everyone who is not exactly like us that was never the ruton of Hashem so to keep that mature Concept in focus and number two critical critical as well to understand we must make deposits and if in is Tri I was telling you the Bell RAB said that throwing rocks never made a person from isn't that obvious isn't it obvious you throw a rock that's going to that's going to bring someone back to Torah so what's the the answer is it's not R it's not D now just to be a small little M yoser just to be a small little MOS there is a concept called Kos canos means to be zealous right I can't take the I just got to do something canos has its place within yish but I have two things to say about that a you better be very careful if you're aoi you better be consistent because if you're not consistent if you are a can about things that you yourself are having issues with maybe even to validate yourself because that exists as well is not having from it that's not and number two even Kos that we have in in in the Torah P the canos was there not simply because he had to do something anything so this is what he did he did it because he understood that if if I would feel like someone was going to stand up for his covet so that my Gaya would end canos for the same sake of Kos that's not you know we're not on that madrea it doesn't bother us so much I'm telling you you make every BR with kavana will worry about you being being a kanoi properly but if you're not that kind of person throwing rocks and I know I'm I'm preaching to the to the converted I'm singing to the choir I say right you all understand this we just have to spread it because that kind ofos it's not and it's not helping anyone if anything it has caused among the greatest kems that we have seen at least in my lifetime in in in the past few months in the paper in the media so much so that six of you raised your hand when I said six of you and there should be nothing embarrass embarrassing about trembling about being nervous about connecting toes but because we know intuitively and intellectually that what they are doing is not giving any questions bum bum bum yeah um this is not directly related but um how do you deal with um not religious um inter what's religious barriers like um personal like affronts and like intellectual like you don't someone's like not on your page like like mean what they're more they think they're more religious I think they're no I'm saying nothing to do with religion um I'm saying number one like a personal person if you don't feel like someone likes you how do you like how do you love them anyway and number two um if you look down on someone because they're not I mean someone's looking down on you or you're looking down on someone else I I think I think that we have to work on ourselves I think we have to be humble and to know that we are so full of faults that we would never want the world to know about right wouldn't we be embarrassed if the world knew the real us okay I would be so so so what do we want what do we want want Perfection that person's not perfect cuz at least I can look in the mirror every day now if I'd be living in a perfect world and and and I would be the way the way I am I I I would I would I would die from shame so each of us has miles and yeah you know just figure out in your head you know whatting feelings but but you know just say com opinion I mean thing is this har thing making they're making their opinions n but it's a negative one they're shoving it down the front and we're just backing away neity I know not like the ones we see in the media they just keep to themselves good good I I think you make a very important point when we speak about those who are um who are creating a big taram I I don't mean to impune anyone actually other words any one group I didn't say satmer or bub or visit or or Tois Ain I didn't impune I'm speaking about a h how does one approach that very difficult issue of people who we feel are not on our wavelength yeah okay I have two questions number one why AR more big bigan coming out and talking against this that really really I don't understand it and number two when somebody irreligious confronts you with it to say Well they're not really religious or they're crazy those are not adequate answers you have a better yeah I I I don't have an answer why why the G haveen haven't spoken about it um except to say that um that uh you know may maybe that's just it it should be obvious and uh I don't know like I I don't think I told anyone a single Kish here tonight there's nothing that I said he didn't I I I I I mean I I think that there were proclamations made I I don't few now very recently I I don't know I I uh I don't follow that what was your second question question is some religious um you know like challenges you about this just to say Well they're not really for or they're crazy those are very inadequate answers you have B say look I I I can't be the judge and jury about every Jew all I can tell you is I have a lot of love for you and that has to be answer and and and you could and if you feel strong enough you can say and I don't agree with their actions but you don't have to harpen it in other words you you know yeah in every society you always have understand I'm not saying it's okay but but it's got much worse it's not I as well you walk down the streets and you read the the media and then you walked out last week the regular everyone's going to school it's a regular normal day there's nothing of this heye what you're seeing on the news it's not it's not what's happening on the streets I didn't say it's sor people that are doing it are doing things that weren't done you didn't he 20 years ago somebody steing bleach somebody yeah I mean what both of you are saying is true obviously obviously the media the media has has blown this way out of proportion but the gum did speak out and they said that there's some sort of a kitu going on they said had to do with lashara maybe we're speak L by ourselves so it has been spoken about and and if it's not worse than it than it than it always was then it was always in a certain way look we know it's bad you know how we know it's bad cuz b m is not built yet so it's bad enough every door that the Bas of MDES is not built in means that door was worthy to have it destroyed in so we are still living in the door that that just tears each other apart the only difference is that today we have the technology to do a much more effective job and the world will know about it much quicker and we have to we have to wake up and and smell the coffee it's uh you know we have the ability to make a great kid hasem and uh you know we're not at least not all of us yeah any else yeah I'm just thinking that maybe like if in America we work on could have an effect on the world like it's like there what could we do for them be like think America think so thing for sure I say what didn't happen in America like these crazy things within each other I I would say I would say go to shabbat.com find somebody who's not religious or religious but not your kind and click the invite button that's what I would say as a matter of fact the uh Daily News interviewed me last week uh about about shabbat.com yes we were in The Daily News and um the person said okay what's um what's the idea I I said I'll tell you the idea is because you're reading all this negativity Jew versus Jew in the media I think we have to promote how much love and acceptance and open opening of the house we do really actually have within the Jewish Community we're we we're you know say no one like us so the antidote to is yeah know I know there lot of different groups and like no group is perfect you were saying like like yish Orthodox like every group has its problems and it's good side but um specifically well since you said you were yish um I was wondering about like one specific aspect of the system um which is actually in the education system that they that they explain why like certain certain groups within yishai um are not incorrect their so I'm not sure what you're asking you want to know um like for example like certain teachers they're certain teachers in certain classes let's say um in a lot of BAC schools and in a lot of their issu schools that like explain like that like down specifically put down other groups and explain how like the is like the only correct way and like any diverent are not right I I I I never heard such a class it would be it would be interesting to me but I'll tell you something I it wouldn't surprise me if such a class were given and and not only that but even the material wouldn't surprise me because I think that many groups can make such a case I think that you br into the room and optimally the would say look we we we kept yish going we kept the simulation so on so lowest rate of intermarriage and then you'll get another group where we serve uh the Medina and we we we serve in the Army and we protect and we also learn Torah and we're able to do it all and right it sounds strange to me that there was such a do the right thing like a little bit if they do mistak to give them Pride what they're doing but sometimes it happens at the extense of yeah you have to be very careful it's a big ex heart to put down I think I mean I don't really know what goes on like I'm not a or anything but like I think there are a lot of like hidden agendas involved like and there's a lot of like politics involved it's not just like issues of fright and I don't know I've heard like a lot of classes like and it and like specifically like I should give a specific example of like of like religious SCI I'm not going to get into the whole thing but um so I went through theal system and I heard a lot of classes that explain why this and this and this is wrong and it's like wrong anybody who believes it is is wrong and and um it bothers me so I wonder why that was left so I I would tell you I disagree with you I don't think there's a political agenda I think that that that sounds very Sinister I believe it is a religious thing I believe that within within Judaism try our best to do the r hasem that is how we're brought up this is good this is bad this is Asa this is yob and and and that's how we grow up that doesn't have to be an agenda to be wrong it could simply be that we're trying our best to do the it doesn't there's no political agenda I I don't I I don't believe it I never will believe it and if it is a political agenda then they've messed up terribly because they haven't accomplished anything with their agenda plus one plus I I've been in the Rabin it and I've taught in let's see I taught in K Berlin i t in tadas I taught in Brewery I taught in Prospect Park and if there was an agenda they they forgot to give me the memo you know you know so I I want to know what the that agenda is I just think it's serious one I'm just I'm just I'm just saying what I what I experience it's it's it's uh simply put you've become more open-minded and and and open-minded could be bad or could be good but you've evolved it's it's not a hard thing do we evolved as people and the Bako system is the best system for from people for from girls anywhere it it is I agree with you 100% it just it just that specific thing like it it just always bothered me I mean it has for a while and I was wondering like why why they cuz they're trying to give you Ms the way they understand it it's just but it's not Ms no you can't say that either cuz then then you're in the same then you're in the same boat as them you could say that there's a variation and for them their m so it is that religious iism is Floy varation but like I don't think you could like be taught that one that one group of you're G look you you you have to be taught like like you said earlier um what's your name I don't remember your name but she she said earlier that um that um they're trying to give you pride in in what you're what are you doing and I I don't have a problem look I teach my kids what I believe to be the EMS I don't have any political agenda I teach them what I believe to be the EMS that's it now I somehow I'm trying to teach them also to be tolerant I have my son over there I could ask him whether I did a good job or not uh by the way does is anyone going back to farak yeah you are uh can we get a ride for him sure okay great that was easy um but you have to but could you mind following us because he hasn't eaten we stop by Carlos and Gabby on the way good now he's happy uh for me not for him yeah for both of us to be honest yeah yeah but I'm not even convinced that what look there are people who go uh you have to be more open accept people like take things with right right well I had to have been there if I were to judge and that I don't like to judge anyways but if I were to judge seriously I would have to be there in the class to to un to see to see whether they went overboard or whether they're just trying to give the EM the way they see it and I think that is your n your n is can you be tolerant of someone that you viewed as intolerant and if you can't then you're also intolerant because there is such a m as well you understand that's each of us had as an yeah it could be that like was trying to explain that like the way that you grew up is the right way for you and that way a little more more attractive and it seems also right say the way that you up is the way you're supposed to go not's being against that's right good anyone else excellent thank you