Rabbi Benzion Klatzko: Does Judaism Need Saving?

okay the the topic for tonight is called does Judaism need saving by the end of the talk that will not be the topic uh there is a better there's a better title for it but I don't want to give it away because I want to come to it together with you I want to take a journey with you and that journey is going to begin with a very simple question that we must ask it wases today Roes and the name of the monk um sort of is ironic because we know that an a means a father and when we think of fathers we think of Rus we think of mercy and yet what is AB known for it's known for sadness it's known for tragedy it's known for Destruction how do we understand the name of how can we understand that and I'm going to speak about something that I had mentioned at the orava shaton but we're going to get a lot deeper than we did over there and the the concept is as follows we are living in a day and age where we try to get excited about our Judaism we come to sh a weekday night here you all are 9:00 at night we are involved with we try to bring up our children we try to teach them to go on the right path and yet we're not blinding to the reality that as people are coming back to Judaism there is a another door that says Exit on top that have many people leaving their Judaism people that have grown up Orthodox religious what's going on are we doing something wrong and if it is what is it maybe we should be plugging that hole right now when um when we look at the news it's already we're numb to it but there's a hole in the bottom of the ocean and out of that hole is coming black goo black black oil oil that used to be a blessing is now becoming a curse and that whole needs plugging up and our hole needs plugging up as well what's going on let's be honest what's going on what is it about Judaism that we are giving our children that's not working and what is it that we have to give ourselves to ensure that Judaism will continue and Thrive and last so here is the concept the concept is as follows I was sitting amongst a group of of college students non-religious and I asked them telling me how many people are proud here to be Jewish and they all raised their hand they were proud I was happy to see that and then I asked them a very simple question and the question is can you define what Judaism is what is Judaism and a lot of people raised their hands and the answers ranged from a way of life a culture the answer most frequently given was Judaism is a religion and if you look in the encyclopedia or Wikipedia you will find that among the religions of the world you'll find Judaism and Christianity and Islam and Buddhism and Hinduism it's another religion what is shocking is that if you look in the entire Torah you will never find that it's called a religion now if Hashem if was introducing the Jews to a way of life that was a religion I would expect it to say so in the Torah many times as a matter of fact if you look at other religions of the world they unabashedly call themselves a religion as a matter of fact if a person want to convert to Islam one of the lines that they would have to repeat five times is there's no religion like Islam they call themselves a religion Christianity calls itself the religion of love the religion of Brotherhood it's all religion so where is the word religion in Tanakh it's conspicuously absent the truth of the matter is it is mentioned once it's mentioned not by a Jew but it's mentioned by H and H says the do andos they're just a different religion and one of the ideas behind what hman was trying to say is don't worry about them they're just a religion don't be so impressed by them don't be so bold over but do they're different they're different than the rest of you but they're just a religion Judaism is not a religion and it is one of the great mistakes one of the great errors that we have made and when we call ourselves a religion eventually we are opening the exit door for people to leave what is it if it is not a religion so here is the saying that I'm going to I'm going to give you and I'm going to say it again and again tonight and the reason I'm going to repeat it again and again is because when you come home I want you to repeat it again and again and I want you to tell your kids and I want you to tell your friends Judaism is not a religion it's a relationship Judaism is is not a religion it's a relationship how many times is Judaism called a relationship in the Torah hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of times that's right if one looks deeply in the Torah one will see that Hashem tried again and again to tell his children stop saying religion I'm not interested I want the [Music] relationship my son my first the child of [Music] my beloved my beloved is coming up my beloved relationship again and again and again not religion relationship now what is the difference between religion and relationship the answer is they are not even remotely comparable let me give you an example of what religion is thank godem I have 11 children and that means that um we went through 11 child births we went barem to the hospital 11 times so I'm not going to reveal you to you a guy secret now I could I could be hunted down for this so um I'm not sure if this should be on Torah anytime but I'm going to tell you a secret that you're not supposed to know as women here is the guy Secret when you are having a baby at the end of the 9th month and you turn to your husband's and you say you know what I think it's time it's time we got to go to the hospital it's time I feel the contractions I got to go so your husband will break into a great big smile and you'll look at him and you'll say that's so nice he's right there with me he's going to experience it with me it's so nice so here's the secret that's not really why he's smiling okay I'm going to tell you why guys are really smiling when the husband when the wife says it is time to go to the hospital the guy smiles the husband Smiles because he knows he can get into the car turn on the ignition slam on the gas and go 100 miles an hour through red lights yes that's really why we smile yes here we go baby time I bought a I brought a Chrysler 300 H special for the occasion my wife it's time for babies yes let's go let's go let's go I'll get out of the car because what's going to happen if we don't get stopped great and if we do get stopped what do we tell the police having a baby you want to deliver the baby in the back seat no one wants to no no cop wants to to Del a baby so what what happens you got a police escort it's also a good deal right so so so we get away Scott free because the laws of the state are like religion their dos their don'ts and they if you could prove why it doesn't apply to you why you should get away with it you do right that doesn't resonate with me I'm not feeling it I'm not emotionally connecting right that's that's religion relationship is quite the opposite if you always feel in a relationship how can I get out of things what kind of a relationship are you in a very dysfunctional one maybe one on the Rocks relationships work the opposite way I always try to then one more can I do to make this relationship worth so when I get up in the middle of the night and my wife sees me getting up so she's like oh can you can you get me a drink so I could just you know fill up a cup of water for her but if I really am in a relationship with her if I really love her what am I going to ask her what kind of drink who said that who that okay what kind of let's play the game okay what kind of drink do you want so I said okay how about some soda what yes what flavor would you what flavor oh thank you for asking Cola on ice with it oh thank you what lemon okay good we're getting soon right that's relationship the one thing you can't ask is Diet you want diet honey it really tastes the same really don't worry about it yeah right crack is in bed right so you so when you're in a relationship you go the extra because that's what love means if the kind of Judaism that we give our children is religion they're one foot out the door if it's a relationship it will last and grow now there's many many many beautiful facets to this let me explain to you a few of them when Hashem said to the Jewish people do you want my Torah so what do the Jewish people answer I we we will do and we will listen we will do what you said we will listen so Hashem said who taught my children this secret that the very Angels use who taught them this what was the secret that they said we will listen we will do and we will listen they didn't say we will listen and we will do what's the what's the grand difference between if they said that we will do and we will listen or we will listen and we'll do what's the great difference between reversing that order you know what the difference is it's completely different if they said we will listen and we will do Nish that's religion nishma I will listen I'll see does it make sense to me does it resonate with me am I feeling it if if so the N said that's not what they said they said the opposite they said n definition I will do and I will listen I will do and I will listen that's the formula of relationship it's not that they flipped it it's they understood it's not religion relationship when my wife says to me honey can you do me a favor do I do I say well let's here me let me hear does it make sense does it resonate with me or do I say sure of course I do what do you want right relationship isma the great secret was that the Jewish people understood that one can have a relationship with the almighty that's a great secret other religions don't believe that they believe you need an intermediary you need a go between that's what AAR is a go between says hasem no I want to have a relationship with you you and me together forever say second person blessed are you you and I Hashem says I want one thing from you every single day I want you to say the sh what do we say in the sh is is the only one there's only one only one for us it says in the gar that Hashem has fill that have his version of Shai what does it say in hashem's F it says not sh is it says these words and who is like my nation Israel the most singular Nation on Earth say here we are we say sh saw no one like you and no no one like you no no one like you no one like you I love you I love you right it's an ultimate relationship and that's why hasem says I want you to say something twice a day you know what you're going to say twice a day all I want you to say is that we're that we're going to be in love forever could you imagine a religion that says I want you just be in love be sincere about that love be sincere about that love you want to have relation we could last forever and if you look very carefully in the way Hashem structur Judaism you will see relationship replete throughout Judaism think to yourselves for a moment what is the holiest country on Earth Isel Israel no question about it what's the holiest city in Israel the holiest place in jerus the Temple Mount B harab in harab in the Temple Mount what was the holiest place in the b m the holy of holies and what was the Hol spot in the holy of holies between the two Ken and you what the kven these gold gabites these gold figurines what were they they were two figurines that had wings and it says in the magish one had the face of a male and one had the face of a female and they stared into each other's eyes with love that's right the holiest country the holiest city the holiest place the holiest city and KES kadash what do you find right there sck a needle through the center of the earth you'll find love and that's why it said when was not happy with us how did he show it what happened to the Ken they turned away you know like the silent treatment not speaking to you that's could it be more obvious it can I got his brok and says just be close to me just just focus have a relationship with me you know I'll tell you a story there was this lady and she's waiting for her lover to come home she's waiting her lover was away for many weeks at tonight he's supposed to come home so she's waiting and she's waiting and finally she says you know what I'm getting so tired my lover is supposed to come but I don't know when he's coming exactly I'm going to lie down it's getting late so she takes off her her her slippers she takes off her night gown and she goes underneath the covers and she cuddles up and she's all cozy and she begins to drift off and a few minutes later hello I'm home and she hears the voice of Her Lover but she thinks to herself I'm so comfortable underneath the covers you know I took off my night go am I going to put it back on again you I took off my slippers I'm get my feet dirty and he keeps talking hello hello are you there hello I don't know what to do I'm too comfortable and then suddenly the knocking stops and she's lying there in the silence and the darkness and then she thinks to herself what am I crazy I didn't get up my lover was here and I just let him not so she jumps out of bed she puts on her slippers she puts on her her her night gown she runs swings open the door wide but he's long gone so now she begins to panic and she runs and she runs and she begins to run through the streets screaming his name calling his name and the night Watchman he sees this crazy lady running outside in her G and slippers and he says to are you okay are you crazy should I call a doctor should I call a police she says I don't care what you think about me I don't care all I know is that that I may have just missed the opportunity to connect to the one that I love and I couldn't possibly bear that what what harleyquinn romance did I just quote that's shash that was Torah does that sound like religion it's the deepest relationship Kesh kadash the holy of holies why is it called the holy of holies because in the holy of holies sat the K that showed love there's so much love going on in Judaism it screams it let's go through a few of the myths and see if we could decide for this I you know I want to tell you something when the internet came on the computers so I got myself a laptop and like like many guys boys and toys I had my computer and I'm all excited wow you can get this information of that it's really really convenient and my wife comes in the room and she's speaking to me and I'm answering to her while they uh-huh mhm and finally after a few minutes a few times coming in she says do me a favor when I come in the room and I'm trying to speak with you you know shut shut the lap shut shut shut the laptop don't focus on me or we used to go out to eat we still go out to eat and I've got my cell phone and you know people are calling and I'm answering and finally she said you know you Tak me out to eat they're trying to connect with me do me a favor shut the cell phone we're trying to connect here you know what that is that's shabat that shabas hash you're so busy all week long you have your work and you have your school I get it but come shabas it's about me close the laptop turn off the phone let's celebrate together put on a white tablecloth light some candles pour some wine let's have a romantic dinner together what you think the candles and wine are all about let's sing let's dance together stand up and say come my bride how beautiful it is when you have an older couple and the husband introduces us oh meet my bride we're married seven years but she's still my bride bo bo come my bride my queen I missed you I so busy all week doing my thing I have to but each day I waited to connect with you to have our special time together every day I'd say i' say I can't wait for shabas to come I can't wait for our special time together shabas is all about connecting it's all about relationship and if you look deeply into the shabas you see it think about it a moment do you know that the laws of shabas the laws of Shabbat come from the fact that they would build the miss and there is a p a verse right before building the Mish that says you should keep my shabas and we see from there that keeping shabas overrides the mishkan now you stop and think about it and say why mishkan isn't that an important thing caros Yer shabas overrides that how do we understand that so I'll tell you a little story this uh father comes home the end of the day he was late every day he works very hard and his wife is waiting there by the door and she is angry and he looks at her and says hello and she says where were you today says what do you mean I'm in my office yes I I know that but don't you know today was Billy's Soccer Championship you said you promised them you would come and he kept looking up in the middle of the game kept looking up in your empty seat where were you so instead of understanding he gets all upset and he says what do you mean where was I I was making a living you see this beautiful home you live in you see these curtains and the chandeliers and this and that somebody's got to pay for it that's me what are you yelling at me for I'm just trying to give give you what you want so she says back do you think this is what I want you think I need the curtains and the chandeliers I would much rather live in a a small little apartment and have a present father and a present husband I don't need the chandeliers and and and the curtains without having you at my side without having you for the children says AEM I love the fact that you're building my Mish it's a beautiful wonderful thing but not at the price of US connecting shabas is our special time right build me the house but don't give up that special time that's what we need to connect you understand if you look at every Mitzvah and you start looking through the glasses of relationship all of the sudden it's going to be so joyous all of a sudden it won't be a burden if it's a burden and it's dos and don'ts oh no now shabas is coming and I can't use my cell phone and I can't so then then of course that's why that's why children are resented that's why people are resented but if they look at it like connecting if they look at it like look I'm so busy but I need and I want hasem in my life so therefore I'm going to make the sacrifices but they're not really sacrific what I'm really going to do is I'm going to allow the situation to be that I'm able to connect to Hashem without without anything getting in the way and the computer will get in the way and will get in the way and instead it'll be us everything that I'm going to do is to connect to and not your shs look at other mes you know someone once said to me RA you know I'm I'm a bad Jew I said look I don't I don't call people bad Jews but why would you even call yourself that well I am a bad you because I only go to services in the high holidays like once or twice a year I said look I don't judge people but I do want to tell you something I don't think you're in a relationship because what kind of relationship checks in once a year hey how's it going catch you next to same place right that's not relationship what's a relationship you know relationship is relationship is you wake up in the morning and you say hello how are you you bring each other coffee you you breakfast together you connect sometime in the day you touch face how was it going dear how are the kids can I bring you home some flour some milk some and then in the evening you come together you sit you have dinner you're able to connect you enjoy some time together three times a day relationships connect three times a day so we tell we're going to connect three times a day someone said to me you know r i I understand that but we're saying the same thing again and again and again and again I said what's the problem with that he said I don't know it's just boring I said you're clearly not married and he wasn't I said because if you are I want to tell you a little secret when we as married folk and I'm married now 22 years at 22 years of marriage when we hang up the phone right before we hang up what do we say I love you I love you say goodbye I love you goodbye I love youbye but now that that's one time but then if you speak 10 times during the day every single time goodbye I love youbye I love you I love you right and then times that by 365 days times that by 22 years that you know you have to left the movie camera fast forward and and I'll tell you I'll be very honest I don't necessarily think about it every single time sorry if my wife is watching this sorry yeah I try but I you know that's how it is as a matter of fact one of the first things that get dropped and remember not to drop this when you're in a relationship one of the first things that get dropped is the word I think about it goodbye I love you I love you and then it doesn't slow you down because it becomes sort of like a like a saying like element p goodbye so the word I actually has a has the effect of SL down goodbye comma I love you so never dro the ey remember you heard that here goodbye I love you not goodbye love you so um but I don't but honestly I don't really think about it each and every time you know sometimes I'm busy and it's just I I'll even tell you I once had a um a boss who was a woman and she uh she was a pretty strong woman and um you know sort of like a little general and I would take my working orders from her and it was the uh it was the end of a phone conversation and she said you'll do this and you'll do that that said I got it I got it I got it I said okay got goodbye I love you oh no I don't yes I do but I like yeah the next time we um met was very awkward was really bad I think she began treating me better I don't know anyways so I so we should just stop we should just stop why why do we keep saying I love you if we don't think about it you know the answer is the answer is because yeah maybe every time I don't think about it but once in a while a few times a week when life is slowed down and I'm on the phone I tell my wife about my day and she's tell me about hers and I finish off and I say goodbye I love you and I thought about it and for those times during the week when it slowed down it's all worth it we don't drop it ding is the same way yeah maybe each and every day really quick but then you hear about a friend a relative who has cancer and now you say and suddenly it means something completely different Hashem we need a healing I'm not just going to dve in it up as they say or I I again and again I'm not thinking about it and then all of a sudden I have a job interview Hashem you give wisdom help me don't put don't let me put my foot in my mouth I need that I need that Godly wisdom please help me and for those times when it's applicable when those times come and I feel it it's worthwhile to always do it that's relationship so many mitzah are touching on a relationship you know a person said to me listen Rabbi I don't know but um but I I have to drive to Shore on Shabbat because you know that's how I feel connected to to God and I live far away and I'm afraid if I'm not going to drive I'm just not going to end up in in SHO so I said I understand that sentiment I really do I understand you want to feel connected but that's not relationship either relationships don't work like that so I'll explain it to you I am uh I'm walking out I'm going out I want to pick up something in pthm Mark and my wife oh you're going out do me a favor pick up some milk I just poured cereal and I and I realized I forgot to I I forgot to check if we have milk we have no more milk I say sure so I come to pth Mark and as I'm walking in the door you know the sliding doors I walk in and there I notice flowers you know they do this in path mark and sh there's big bouquet of flowers right when you walk in or right when you leave they just want to make you feel guilty you should be buying flowers for somebody right so they gave so they flowers so I look at them my wife said M Shana said oh it's so nice I'll buy her roses and I go and I'll buy her this beautiful bave Dozen Roses I come home she opens the door and I say Tada for you cuz I love you she oh thank you so much and she smells makes a big production then she says to me that's great can I ask you did you pick up the milk I said well actually I didn't bring my credit card I only had cash and I didn't have money for both so I bought you the flowers so she you know I really appreciate the flowers but you know my cereal here is crying out for some milk you know I really need some milk for the cereal if I really cared about her I would do what she wants because relationships are a two-way street to say I feel connected to Hashem driving theas which is exactly what hasm does not want is a oneway relationship that's not the way real relationships work understand just very profound how it works do you know how there are certain Mitzvah that we have that when we look at the MIT we wonder why is that so even even gas you know there's a a gas the that were not supposed to eat chicken and milk now why what's the matter I understand meat milk because it says don't coca kittens mother's milk and according to T that means don't eat mil meat and milk together but chickens can't even give milk you ever try to milk a little chicken no you're not there's nothing to milk so so why can you not eat chicken and milk you hear the question why not chicken why not chicken and milk the answer is relationship again think about it for a moment I decided to go jog Jing every morning this is just a mush it didn't really happen Okay I decided to go jogging beginning at 6:00 in the morning I'm a jogging that's it so first day I wake up on time I put on my shoes and I've got those you know those velcro sneakers velcro you know makes a big loud ripping noise and I put on my sneakers and I close it I rip it open and close it and my wife wakes up at the start cuz the very loud ripping noise and she's a light sleeper and I feel very bad because once she wakes up she's not going to fall back asleep so I feel very bad what am I going to do the next day providing I continue to job what am I going to do what I can get new stickers I can put the shoes on outside the room right what's the one thing I'm not going to do I'm not going to do the same thing in hope for a different result hey I'll try to do the velro in a in a quieter way no because if you really really love somebody then you can't afford oops that equation work for you if you love somebody then you you you set things up that you won't have an oops because you love them enough to not want to make a mistake even by accident you don't you don't want to just say well I tried my best you want to make sure that doesn't wake up you try to K the reason we don't eat chicken and milk is because it's possible that chicken and meat are sometimes prepared in a similar way and when you look at the two they look alike you could look at a a turkey Frank a chicken Frank a beef frank you could look at stir fry you don't know it's chicken or meat and maybe once that I think I'm eating chicken and really it's meat and I'm going to end up eating with milk and then I'm going to be over that there in the Torah and because once in a while it could happen I can't afford an UPS because I'm in love with Hashem and when you're in love you can't afford an UPS we understand how it works I'll give you another example of a relationship do you know that we have two days of Y now in ER is PES for example they have one s we have two Sedar and we have two days at the end of why do we have two and they have one the answer is historically speaking that the way that a new month was declared where there were Witnesses who would come to the B mikash and they would witness that they saw the new moon and after they witnessed that then they would declare it's a new month and then the word would get out and by the time the word got out in the diaspora sometimes it got out really late and they weren't sure when was the new month was it Sunday or Monday was it Monday or Tuesday and because of that it could be though end up eating eating there are all sorts of dangers to it therefore in the diaspora we kept two days of yto because we just simply weren't sure what day is yov the problem with that is today we are sure today we know what they is El right Hill came and he created a calendar and it's the calendar that we use and we know exactly we know exactly what day is yov so why do we still have two days of yov if we know exactly what days are y today we should be just like Eric we should have one day one day the beginning one day at the end why do we have two days okay so here's going to be the answer again we're going through relationship a little story a man and a woman they are in Las Vegas and they're there at the craft crafts table and they're playing and they're both on a really hot winning stream and in the middle of the game they There Were Strangers they didn't know each other in the middle of the game their eyes met and locked and it was love at first sight and they were so not Jewish couple just the regular couple and they were so excited about it that they decided you know what let's be Reckless let's be stupid Let's Get Married love at for Sight do you believe in it yes do you believe yes let's go so they went to Elvis's wedding chapel and they're going to be married off by us and there you have it in the middle of the night this couple that met simply a few hours ago did the reckless from the Absurd thing and they got married well most of these marriages don't last very long do they but this one was different there was actually some chemistry there and they worked on their marriage and it was a real marriage well it was the end of the very first year of marriage and the wife says you know what it's going to be amazing I anniversary is coming up Tuesday and he says no no not Tuesday it was on Monday so she says no it was Tuesday it was after midnight cuz no no it was before midnight well let's call up the chapel and find out when our anniversary is they try to call up and the chapel had burnt down and the records were were were with it so now they didn't know did they get married before midnight or after midnight so they came up with a wonderful solution they are going to have two days of anniversary what an amazing thing they're going to have a two-day anniversary which is great because then it's not just a dinner but then you can go over night somewhere a beautiful two-day anniversary very beautiful very unique and for 10 years they celebrated their two day anniversary every year very exciting well one day husband is at home the wife's not home yet and all of a sudden a piece of mail arrives and he open opens it up and it turns out it's from the Department of Records in Nevada someone had found the hard drive from the computer had deciphered it had had had read the code and was able to read when people got married what what the dates were and sure enough they had gotten married after midnight they had got married on Tuesday not on Monday well that that year the the wife comes home and the husband is is there and the wife comes home and he sees the husband sitting there and the husband is sitting there in his undershirt on the couch with the remote in his hand so she says to her husband what are you doing tonight's our our our anniversary our 2-day anniversary he go no no it's not a two-day anniversary anymore now that the mail came from Nevada we know that we got married on Tuesday not on Monday so we're having a one day anniversary so she says no we have a beautiful thing going we have a tradition a 2day anniversary just because we know doesn't shouldn't change anything we should keep on enjoying our 2day anniversary this is what we tell hasem we tell hasem yes it's true yes we do know now we know that exactly what the but we have had the pleasure of having two SAR we' had a pleasure of having two days of sh we do not want to give that up our connection to Hashem is so beautiful we want to celebrate our 2day anniversary the only way to understand it is through a relationship there is no other other way to understand it are you beginning to feel what I'm saying here Mitzvah after Mitzvah after Mitzvah is all about relationships even the Bas on M you know in the M what did they bring carbonos so what's the translation for the word carbon sacrifice but that's not really what it means as a matter of fact that's a bad word bad bad bad should use the word sacrifice what does the word carbon come from which Hebrew word what does mean close or relationship how do you say a relative and Hebrew a a Rel right why is it that we don't bring carbonos anymore no B on English me understand it in terms of relationship so I got another story for you like the night's the night of stories and this story has a man and he comes home the husband he comes home with with flowers for Shabbat and he gives it to his wife and his wife loves them and she smells them thank you so much and little K is watching his mother make a big production out of the flowers that ABA gave gave her so he he runs outside and he picks some dandelion and he comes run again and says here imma this is for you and right away she understands what's going on he must have seen he must have seen ABA brought the flowers and he wanted to do the same thing he want to make Emma happy so what does he do well what does she do she does the same thing that she did for Abba she takes the Dand line she smells oh delicious thank you so much and he's all Bast he's all smileing and she takes a cup she puts a little ttin of foil around it and she puts the Dand lines in the cup right next to aba's flowers and each week ABA would bring home flowers and would bring home flowers it was such a beautiful thing one day it's on Friday afternoon K is playing baseball and all of a sudden he remembers forgot to bring IMA her flowers so he runs out he tells the he tells the people who he's playing with fellas hold on one minute I'll be right back and he sticks his hand to the ground and he grabs a handful of you know dirt grass a few Dand liines he runs inside throws the whole thing on the diamond here Emma this is for you and he runs out and the mother's looking at the table the dirt the grass the weeds the dandelions and she shakes her head sadly and she brushes it into the waist basket the magic was gone the love was gone Emma never needed those flowers she was doing good for Hashem never needed the carbonos doesn't need need us to kill sheep he made the Sheep we wanted to show hasem that we love him we wanted to give hasem something and us in our very H humanistic CH childlike uh way are able to say here God take a sheep here take a goat and I oh so sweet they want to connect but you know what happened we stopped caring we we F now I got to give away a sheep I don't want to give away my sheep now I got to give away go I don't want says don't don't do me any favors I don't need you to kill a sheep it's not doing what it's supposed to do it's not K anymore it's not relationship if it's not relationship I'm not interested one Mitzvah after the next again and again is all about relationship now the Jewish people when they left the desert they had a tough time with this that's why Hashem gave them test after test Hashem said we're going to be in a relationship you have to learn to trust me and therefore I'll give you Mone for one day but not for the next day trust me trust is a key component of a relationship but I'm going to have that relationship with you and you're going to have it with me and if we can have a relationship if we could really feel it then our kids won't be running towards the exit we won't oh no your Kipper's coming up oh no PES cleaning is coming up I don't want to do that instead we say yes I can't wait for shers I can't wait for y I can't wait to connect to Hashem my life only has meaning when I'm connected I'm madly in love with the one above if we can say that then our Judaism will be dynamic and it will be exciting and our children will see it look I'll tell you something interesting there are three ways of connecting to Hashem the three ways of connecting three primary ways is through a father father figure that's ainu through a king Malu and then there is the lover relationship which is the each relationship has its Advantage the advantage of a father son relationship or a parent child relationship is the advantage of a we have that connection with and that is Shak Shak we connect to through the parents relationship I'm sorry I'm sorry chakas is the king relationship the king relationship isem can do everything Hashem is all powerful and in the morning when I wake up and I need I need help I need hasem to help me in my business doubt me in my school work doubt me in my relationships I need that I need friends in high places and therefore I relate to with the Mal with the King and that's why Conn the King which is darkness which is a scary time it's when things represents when things are more difficult in our lives that is a parent relationship that's I need Mercy Hashem help you when times are tough what is the afternoon the afternoon is the lover relationship the afternoon is the lover because I need nothing it's unconditional I love you unconditionally and therefore it's not the morning when I need extra help it's not the evening when I need extra Mercy I'm just picking up the phone to say hey I miss you I hope you're having a glorious day that's why that's M and that's why it says in the gar it was it was the that had him answered against the you know why because he said I was jealous for you AEM jealousy is the character trait of a lover correct so therefore AO was answered because he related hem as a lover and and said again that jealousy of a lover so there's a song that we sing on CH the song is it's a very interesting thing about the ssal because if you pay close attention the first words speak about relationship and it covers the three relationships relationship number one is that's the long relationship the parent child relationship that's Mel that's the king relationship right away boom boom boom three relationships and then it goes on to explain those relationships I tell you something interesting this is again my own maybe it's an ashkanazi speaking but there are lots of pabas that don't really have such beautiful Tunes you know it's not so easy to find a nice tune for my or you know certain mirrors have nice Tunes certain ones really tough has some nice there's one in there one Zen that every tune that's ever been made up is is beautiful that's neish you ever heard of the did neish that's not gorgeous I I think that that's on purpose cuz the neish is the connection of the lover look at the words of listen carefully and tell me whether this is a religion or relationship listen to these words beautiful Pleasant one shine of the whole world us speaking to beautiful Pleasant one my soul is love sick for you Hashem I love you so much I'm sick in love with you I feel in the pit of my stomach I don't know what to do with myself when I leave leave this she tonight and I'm so L what am I going to do should I get Saka should I do what should I do I'm so in love with you I'm sick in love cure me of that love Sickness by showing me the beauty of your countenance show me you'll always be there with me show me when times are tough you've got my back show me you'll hold on to my hand when I don't know what's going to be with when I don't know don't know what's going to be with with with pessa when things when there's sickness in the family if I if I don't know where to turn I'm lost but if I know you're at my side then then it will give me strength I will become strong and I'll be cured of my love sickness and only then will I have everlasting in happiness if I know that you and I are in love if I know I'm in a relationship and not religion then I can go through a brick wall for you but if I feel if I feel that things are not going well then I'm lost do you know why this month is of it says in the that our masle is not bad of we simply are cast into masle usually Hashem takes us out of masle Hashem says je people you're mind don't worry about the musle you're not going to be left the chance the the tragedy of a is we're thrown to mle we're we're we're left to to blow in the wind we are getting the silent treatment says Hashem you you're getting the silent treatment because you didn't want to have a relationship what is the antidote for that it's OD remember remember I will be there for you I will be there with you forever if you stop and think about it it's a strange thing TI comes out the very night that the Jewish people cried after the Morag came back the marulan the spies came back and they said listen the land is bad you're going to be destroyed so the Jewish people cried right why did you take us out of his Tri to be to be destroyed destroyed so hasem says you cry to cry of nothing I will give you I will give you crying forever if you stop and think about that it's very strange it sounds very vindictive actually hey you cry it's like a parent hey you cry for nothing I'll give you what to cry about but is that what hasem is saying is that what Hashem is saying that's not what Hashem is saying Hashem is not say hey Cry For Nothing watch now I'll give you what to cry about no Hashem is saying you're making a big mistake because I have a relationship with you and in a relationship there's nothing that tugs at the heart more than tears so don't waste those tears your tears are valuable whenever there's going to be a tragedy I'm going to make it fall out an hour you know why because I want you through remember that you can get out of that Tragedy by remembering a relationship you cried for nothing but I'm going to teach you that your tears can move me the gates of tears are always open it's always open so don't worry about it when things happen bad cry to me speak to me I will listen I can't help myself because I'm in a relationship with you it's a very important profound idea you must go home and teach everyone you know not religion relationship next time you have to fill out a form in case they ask you religion and they leave a blank just write na a non applicable not of no religion no religions relationship I'm going to finish off with the story and I tell this story because sometimes in a relationship we don't understand how close Hashem can be to us and how he's looking and moving those pieces if we simply had some amuna some trust that that relationship can weather any storm a few years ago we had a fire in the house now we had just bought the house a year before we have moved from California so a fire in the house is really tough It's a matter of fact I was in Texas when my wife uh called me I pick up the phone and the first words to me were hello yes oh sham how she goes listen I just have a question for you does Hashem love us very much I said yeah yeah why cuz one more question is everything that hasem does for the best and I said yes yes definitely now you're scared in me you know my God if my wife is a God-fearing woman what what's the issue she says okay I just wanted to let you know I'm sitting on our front lawn with the children they're all safe but our house is burning down a million in one thoughts race through the mind okay everyone is safe now what about myself St what about the what about the insurance what about my SP what and then you think oh no this is going to be a long ordeal in order to rebuild and it was it was took us took us a year we were a little bit in guls for the year Hashem had a plan for us many wonderful things happened when we ended up moving moved to a different community and we made wonderful connections those connections have have uh borne many fruit but one of the things that happened after the firewor was we decided that we are going to build a unique house and it's going to be a house that we can make big shabas we want them to have lots of people over for Shabbat and there's a limit to what you could put in a regular dining room so we sat out the architect and we built a very very very very large dining room uh the dining room is probably at least the size of this room oh yeah the picture and the D built a very large dining the dining room that we custom made a table it's a unique dining room table and it could hold 62 people just the table alone so and and that's what we did and after we moved back we were able to start having shabbaton so we had about 60 people this past Shabbat will probably have this week and each week we have anywhere from 40 to 80 people we can always add a table and that's what we get with the house I married a insane sad who is willing to cook for everyone three meals over shabas and uh by the way you're all invited for shabas that's a real offer not a Hollywood invite [Music] [Applause] okay we defin definitely are invited so what we were thinking was like this we should make we should make a minion in the house and it'll be a beautiful minion we like a kak minion and we have people who are not that religious and they can come and they can enjoy Shabbat at our house and it'll be like a beginner service and it can be a wonderful thing so we began doing a minion at the house and people would come and they dance around and they just have an amazing time then we thought to ourselves you know what once we're doing a service at night the K minion let's do it in the day as well now the problem is if you do a million in the day you need to have a Torah and we didn't have a Torah because we had just built the house we had no money for a Torah so what do we do so I couldn't afford a t a t is going to be a minimum of $35,000 and then upwards of that so we had no money for it so what I did was I went to Craigslist I went the Craigslist and I put in the words tell Jewish Judaism yeah who you know you Craigslist well one day I put in Tor at the Craigslist and I found a an ad and the ad read for sale authentic Jewish Torah 11 in high 200 years old my God I think no that's got to be a mistake you're not going to you're not going to find on Craigslist a miniature 200y old you know how much money that's worth let alone the Kad that's a valuable collectible so I P up the fellow and I said okay what's to deal with this I said is it a real toy he definitely real I said because you know that's a pretty that's a small size very very rare to find a toy that size the scribes and so they don't like to make small to so he says yeah definitely real I said okay I would love to see it well he said well I live in Philadelphia I said well I live in Mony New York he said that's okay I'll drive it up to your house I said really driving from Philadelphia I said great but I'm not going to promise you that I'll buy it he said no don't worry no promises I have time on Sunday I'm I'm happy to drive with your house so the following Sunday about 10:00 in the morning this beat up old Dodge pulls up in front of our house and out of the Dodge walks this fellow no s of an overweight fellow he's holding a blanket I said oh okay come on in welcome come in I presume that's the T in the blanket yes great we take the blanket and we put it on the dining room table we open up the blanket and there right away I can see it is a real to now I was concerned because they do sell paper cols that are 11 in tall you can go to the to theen store or bookstore and they saw them but this was clearly a to made out of clock now it did not have a cover so it was just just had a belt on it and but I figured I'm going to open it up and it's going to be in terrible condition because hers the letters begin to crack and fade we open up belt and I look at the col and it's gorgeous it's stunning it's beautiful so now I'm getting very excited but I don't really want to show them how excited I'm getting cuz I want him to jack up the price so I'm I'm going to I got to play this cool so I said okay nice but where did you get it from he said well actually my father was was a uh a rabbi in the cat skills and he had a synagogue this was this was one of the TOs that was in the synagogue eventually he got old and he passed on and the synagogue ended up closing down they auctioned off everything in the syn and I kept this to for myself so I said listen do you know what I would do if I had a to like this if I had this to I would have bar in the house I have people who they would get aiyah they haven't had aiyah since their Bon they would hug it they would kiss it they would dance with it I just began to wax poetic I just had dreaming in my mind wow you out a so he looks at me for a moment and then I can see there tears forming in his eyes and he said you know I wish I had met someone like you growing up I said why he says well you see I was very young when my father passed away and I had a lot of questions about my Judaism and even when my father was alive he was a holocaust Survivor like we didn't really connect eventually I went off to college I met this beautiful girl she was Buddhist I married her and I'm a practicing Buddhist today and for 50 years this player is sitting in our closet so I'm thinking I'm looking at him suchus here's a fellow he was a he was a y some at a young age the father was a rabbi the father was a Survivor and here you have a CL sitting in his closet for 50 years suddenly he looks at me and says I got it I just realized this is your T you at them I said for free he said yes for free I I think the pl belongs in your home I think you're going to do great things with it I said thank you he just waiting for the you know the Cs he goes don't thank me it's yours have a good day and he leaves the house goes back into his Dodge drives back to Philly leaving me with this Priceless 200y old miniature fire amazing so now that I have this fire now I needed an ark I need an AR kodes now the problem is most K all like that they're five 6 ft tall or 7t or even larger and you can't put a tiny 11in tet in a 7t arm thch it looks ridiculous plus they can't even find it Hey where's the th right there so you really need a a miniature Arc a miniature AR poage for the miniature CL so a a year before I actually bought my son one of these paper fs and I built for him a miniature AR I so the first thing I did is I Tred to steal a back but he wouldn't allow so for a while um my Priceless 200y old th sat next to his little paper th with in peace and Harmony no fighting they just that there in this in in this makeshift arm coition but I really wanted to find something respectable for it one day I am looking on eBay and I'm checking out Je Judaism you know and suddenly I see an ad and the ad reads for sale Jewish Christian piece of furniture and I'm thinking I don't even know what what what does that look like a Jewish Christian piece of furniture so I look at a picture got a picture there and to me this's what it looked like it look like an AR closing ship it had doors it had pillars it was all hand engraved in wood as a matter of fact it was gorgeous and it was an antique the only thing that was peculiar about this miniature art was on top of it culminated in a gigantic gold crucifix a big gold cross so I'm thinking you know one of these things do not belong and it's got to be Vis this cross I call up the people who are making the auction and I said to them listen can I ask you something where did you get this piece of furniture from so they said listen we're a company in in South Carolina and our job is to liquidate Estates from people who um knew passed away with no children and this particular piece of furniture belonged to a priest who passed away with no children that that anyone else of so therefore all you have left is this piece of furniture and we decided to uh to Sal liquidated so I said to them look this may look like a Christian artifact but it is clearly Jewish do me a favor I said to them check the wood of the Cross check the wood of the Ark and tell me if the wood matches so they came back a minute later and they said it does not match they said the ark the AR well they said the ark or this piece of furniture is well over 100 years old and the cross is maybe 20 years old so I said Ah that's it this was an AR Kish that was built by some y 100 years ago with his Blood Sweat and Tears somehow it was taken hostage by a by a uh priest and he slapped the cross on it so I said to them I'm buying it what do you want to end the auction so we made up end the auction I hang the phone and I noticed that at the bottom of this piece of vir is a little PL so I said the do me a favor send me a photo of that plaque cuz in my heart of hearts I was a little bit nervous maybe this is a Christian piece of furniture and I just don't recognize what it is cuz I don't know all all Christian artifacts I don't know what it looks like so they sent me a little photo of the plaque and right when I saw it my heart skipped the be it said in the plaque in Hebrew the following words h sh Israel behold the god of Israel never sleeps and he never Slumbers and I'm thinking how remarkable is this here you have a AR KES here you have an ark that was made 100 Years Ago by some Y and it was taken by this by this priest hostage and this AR KES is going to have in it a Torah that was sitting in this Buddhist Jews house for the past 50 years and all of that the the the the the Buddhist Torah in the Christian Ark is all going to be used to bring Jews back to Judaism behold the god of Israel he never sleeps and he never Slumbers he has an amazing plan for us and he moves those pieces around we were very excited to get this Ark and the day that it arrived my kids came running out a little truck came we ripped open the crates we took the Torah a little bit nervous maybe it would be too big or even worse too small and the Torah wouldn't f it was hard to tell based on the picture we took the Torah and we put it in it was like Cinderella slipper like perfect so happy it was wonderful we took it and we put it in our dining room fantastic a few hours later we get a phone call this lady calls us up and she says let me ask you something you're at a class 2m I hear that you have a lot of guests for Shabbat and holidays well soot is coming and there is a girl and she needs a place for S she comes from a terrible family she's been abused she's been neglected physically emotionally we have to find her another home but for coot she has no place can she stay by you and I said of course she could stay by us of course she comes in the house a little while later this girl and right when I saw her I said oh yeah yeah we made a mistake because she comes in and the baseball cap is covering her eyes she's sort of shuffling in she's not speaking to anyone very antisocial really and I'm thinking oh no you I work with college students I'm not a therapist what do I have to offer a girl like this well the first night of the tood it was even tougher she sat in the sua and she sat all the way in the corner she didn't say a word to anyone she's got this piece of plastic silverware that she's chewing on you know the corner not and I'm thinking oh this is going to be wow 8 days of this it's like a cold wind blowing throughout the house and wherever she walks not speaking to anyone it's tough something miraculous happened as cot passed each and every day this girl began to open up more and more and more and more first playing with the children then shiming with my wife and eventually myself she had such an amazing time that she stayed after stot Thursday Friday sh Sunday she was she had become part of our family I quot the lady who had sent it to us and I said you have to tell me what happened I we didn't do anything what it's like a miracle what happened to this girl she opened up she Blossom no one could have expected it so this lady said I know what happened I'll tell you what happened she said apparently the first night of seot you told the story to all of your guests in the Suka about a Torah and an ark an AR KES that you had just gotten in your home well that night that first night to Cod this girl waited for everyone to go to sleep in your house she waited for the family to go to sleep she waited for the guests to retire to their quarters and when the house was silent at 1:2 in the morning she comes down to the dining room she sits down in front of the AR kodes she opens up the doors she puts her face in this AR kodes and she begins to S and she begins to cry and she says you Torah that didn't have a home for so many years you Torah that no one understood that you had any value no one understood what your worth was you were not loved you were not accepted you were not hugged and you were not kissed and you areesh sitting there in the priest's house and he didn't realize how much value you had he didn't realize that you two had an amazing holy purpose and you were not loved and you were not respected and somehow Hashem made it that this Torah you Torah you should find a home and should find a family that will love it and take care of it and appreciate it and accept it so why can't I find a home why can't I find a family that will understand that I too have some value that I too have some worth why can't I find a family that will love me and maybe even hug me and kiss me every once in a while would that be so bad and each and every night this girl would walk down the stairs after everyone was asleep and she would open up the door of the AR Kish and she'd stick her face and and and she would cry and she would sob and she would connect and she was saying Hashem you are everyone's father be my father as well take care of me as well and it had this amazing cathartic effect on her she felt connected and she felt she had a home a week later she did find a home a place a school she began going and she sent us an email a few weeks later and in the email she writes you know I miss your family I miss the Ambiance I miss the food I miss the kids I miss it all but she writes more than anything else I miss my Torah I miss my Torah she had bonded she had connected the connecting the connector was the Torah until this day the Torah sits in our dining room and this shabas two young well not so young 20-year-old Russian boys who in ruter had a bar mitzah in our dining room just the Shas we said did you ever have an Aliyah no never so I said wait a moment we went running to the kitchen to scramble and find some candy to throw we made a mistake we found chocolate lentils forgetting that when they get stepped on they're really tough to clean up so we took that we just showered it actually with one we didn't even realize we had a second one oh we dance we sang and they got up and they gave connecting Hashem Hashem wants us back Hashem is our so my blessing to each and every one of you is this month the month of Kes instead of think oh no we can't we can't cut hair oh no we can't listen to music oh no we can't eat meat oh no oh no oh no so you know what Hashem is just trying to sensitize us care it should bother you that the on MCD is no longer around my house is not there you can't bring carbonos you can't connect to me the way you used to don't you want to connect don't you want to connect and we should tell hasem of course we want we want nothing more than that with you we can walk through walls we can run through walls without you we're lost thank you very much