Shiur Tonight In West Hempstead

A good walk everyone. Thank you all for coming. We chose with Kalish. Before we introduce the love, I wanted just um say two thank you to the Feldman family for sponsoring tonight's year. Sharing Richard in honor of the children and grandchildren. And Aharon Haviva to Tamara Feldman for sponsoring. But not just for sponsoring, for being always the impetus to get the love here. And Tamara's passion for learning and for Sheila and for our shul and community are truly appreciated so much. And the fact that you work so hard twice to make this happen really is we are so much to you for your efforts. We're really so so appreciative. Thank you so so much, really. If you're wondering why it's so warm in here tonight, are you wondering that? It's due to Kalish. His warmth is legendary. And I managed to bring it here tonight. I feel it already. I feel it already. I was trying to think of the right way to introduce with Kalish Lita. And there really are no words because for those who don't know myself, besides being a very very big fan of his Torah and his leadership and his inspiration and just what he's brought to so many of our Yeshivas and communities and my own children um one might be here tonight actually somewhere. Um have really been Mashpia from his um incredible just warmth and guidance and fire. Really the word is the word is fire. And I wanted to share how it's so by share tonight that we're here. Almost uh 2 years ago we had the zchus to have Kalish upstairs and a similar setting. And um also the stars had to align. I was at a chasseneh just a few hours ago. And with Kalish had invited a young man who was a student who was about to get married. His name is Eli Dachs, he's a singer. Have you heard of him? I don't know if you heard of him. He's great. Beautiful voice, wonderful guy. And at the state's minds, who sang? Was it Eli Dachs? So we had over we had this on the calendar a few weeks ago and it didn't work out. And I couldn't figure out why. When I saw Eli Dachs, I understood that Reb Klish, one of his main messages in his divrei Torah and his talks is hashgacha practice. All happens for a reason, happens at the right time. When I saw Eli Dachs, I just said tonight's got to be the night. It has to happen. So the stars did align for Hashem. I want to just again thank the Reb Reb Klish shlita. Really there are no words to capture our appreciation not just for being here tonight but really for the bracha that we all gained so much from from the schmoozing, from the different lectures, from the different gatherings. And um in a sense, even though we don't necessarily all learn in Waterbury, perhaps one day, but you're certainly all, myself included, very much dear and dedicated and appreciative talmidim of Reb Klish. Without further ado, just for a schmooze, we'll have a Q&A afterwards. Please rise for the Torah for Reb Klish shlita. >> [snorts] >> Thank you firstly to Reb Galler for his kind words. The first time I was zoche to come to this this holy makom Torah, so I didn't know the Reb. I didn't middle I met Michael Morgenstern who I believe I don't know if he's here tonight, but he was here that time. And tonight I certainly say hello when anybody sees him, send regards. But I was that night to meet the Rov and in Eretz Yisrael I was to meet the Rov's son who are just they're a light, sincere, growing, beautiful Yidden, a special special Yid, a real lighthouse of sincerity and growth. I've heard from people about the West Hempstead community that's like exploding, that it's just people are moving in, there's growth all over the place in the community. I don't like exaggerations or saying something that's not true, that's not a good practice. I can't say tomorrow's like the cause that I no idea the the roots of this this revolution, evolution, this growth of a city of a city growing in numbers of Yidden is a big thing. Of course it's always the Rov said and of course the quality, the quantity that that Yidden are growing and coming together, more Yidden coming together is a big deal. And I can't say who's responsible, I don't know enough, there's plenty of special Yidden, it's never a kasha. When Yidden join Yidden we're a special people. If there's three Yidden here wouldn't be a kasha that many other Yidden would come. The city I was to join 26 years ago when we when my wife and I moved to Waterbury long before Rina was born and we moved to the city that was there was not a minyan of from Yidden living there all week. Matter of fact, there was a Rov who came in was a lawyer came in from out of the city. There basically was one bocher. He was a 90-year-old bocher, he was an older bocher, but he was the only one living in the city of Waterbury. He told us that Reb Moshe Feinstein told him to stay in the city, Yidden will yet come. And then we joined and other families joined and met the Yidden, and a lot of the Yidden there joined us and started coming to the shul, and a minyan formed. There was no minyan. So, it's not a casher that Yidden join Yidden, but I want to say on tomorrow, I want to thank her for organizing this. I want to thank her parents, but I want her say her own growth. Her own She's somebody who fights to grow. The dream I love ladders. That to me a ladder is like the story of Yiddishkeit aliya. The dream for my children I don't have a certain picture of how my children It's wide. It's open. How they'll look, how they'll be. My picture is growing, adding, adding that we're really adding, but what but real adding, expanding. We all just want in an authentic way of an aliya is a big deal. Reisi ben aliya of a moitan. An ben aliya is a big deal. Somebody who's just adding, expanding. Willing Reb Nachman spoke a lot and push start new and add. Don't be afraid. Be courageous and add. And tomorrow is that matzias. She's somebody all of us who know her there's an energy of adding, growing, learning, studying, finding out with such chayos, big energy. So, I thank you for organizing this, and I thank you for being an inspiration for those around you to be to grow, to add and grow. You're an inspiration for that. I thank again the rav for hosting and for being a beautiful place and having a beautiful tzeber that that it's a weekday, it's a Sunday, and people are coming together to study Torah. We have Shuan, my friend of Shuan came from from Five Towns to be an appreciated everybody who traveled to be here. The locals and everybody else traveled is appreciated. I wanted to share something in the parashah that there's plenty new Chayei Sarah's packed. In in our own studying of Torah we all want a chiddush for sure. And we look for chiddushim and there's topics on Chaye Sarah coming off this week's parashah. They're chiddushim to share for sure. But part of the way we should study Torah all of us engage Torah, connect to Torah to your story. Your learning should be like a story. Some when you're going through things in your life, what hits you in the parashah is different things different years. You're drawn to different psukim. A Rashi touches a different nerve because of a different part of you that you're in touch with. When you study Torah open-minded and ask what resonates by you and the more we understand ourselves, the more we're in touch with ourselves, the more different psukim hit. And the story of sharing divrei Torah is like is is literally sharing a little bit the story of your life. So, I want to share specifically, I want to share something from the Berditchever. That's just cuz I want to share something from the Berditchever. But I want to share something on the parashah that everybody here knows, but I want to bring something out. We all know Eliezer. Eliezer sent by Avraham Avinu to find a shidduch for his son Yitzchak Avinu. Wants a shidduch for Yitzchak Avinu and he sends Eliezer to look for a shidduch. And Avraham makes a condition that you got to go, you can't be one of the Canaanite girls. You got to go to my birthplace and find a shidduch for Yitzchak Avinu there and only there. But he has another condition that Yitzchak Avinu is not moving there. The girl is going to have to leave her city and come. It's something I deal with a lot My own children, shidduchim, something in the yeshiva, it's a topic of conversation. A guy dates a girl from Los Angeles. He says, "Rabbi, she promised to move here." I just laughed. One day you're going to LA, my son. And these these topics, yeah, could be she'll try a different place. And a girl from You marry a girl from out of town. And like depends where, what, but all the time you're probably going to be drawn back. And Avraham Avinu makes a condition that Yitzchak's not going out of Eretz Yisrael. He's not going there. It's not happening. He will not be going out of Eretz Yisrael. He's an oleh tamim, and the girl must come to Yitzchak Avinu with a tenai in the shidduch. And Eliezer famously asks Avraham, "Ulay, perhaps she won't want to come?" And Avraham Avinu says, "If she doesn't want to come, you're patur from your shidduch. You don't have to find a shidduch, but Yitzchak's not going there." Later on, Eliezer repeats over the story to Lavan and Bethuel. He repeats the story of what happened. And the Torah famously, the Chazal point this out, is very lengthy on Eliezer's speech. And it repeats over when he's speaking to Lavan and Bethuel, Eliezer. And he says that I said to Avraham Avinu told me to come here to find a shidduch for his for his daughter for his son, to find a shidduch for his son. And I said to my master, "Ulay, the girl won't want to come back." But this time ulay is spelled without the vav, we all know. It's spelled aleph lamed yud without the vav. And Chazal tell us a little secret. And Rashi brings the Chazal that Eliezer had a bias. Eliezer actually had a daughter, and he wanted Yitzchak Avinu badly. And ulay is alai. It was like wishful thinking. There was He said, "Maybe she won't want to come back." He actually was hoping. Alai, I really want this I really want Yitzchak Avinu. Alai, I'll get Yitzchak. So, the ulai was an alai. In as much as he said, "Maybe the girl won't want to come back." He was hoping as much cuz alai, I really want Yitzchak Avinu for my own daughter. That's the chazzal. As a youngster, I learned that sugya of ulai and alai as Eliezer Eliezer had a bias, and it's funny, and the mussar to me was people's biases. Be careful. Make sure you have a certain honesty and sincerity. I would look at the sugya as a sugya of calling out your biases. That Be careful to really analyze why you're doing something. >> [snorts] >> In Eretz Yisrael, shana bet or not, maybe you're returning to America. You just want to follow the Knicks more. Maybe sports is pulling you. Call out your biases. Call out the inner pulls. That's what I thought it was a sugya of. I want to express I want to ask a kasha, by the way. Just as a as a kasha, why does the Torah only say the bias, a famous kasha, when it repeats over the story? In real time, when he said to Avraham Avinu, "Maybe perhaps she won't want to come back." The girl, it says ulai aleph vav lamed yud. There's no remez to the bias. Only spells ulai. When Eliezer says over the story, it says alai. I want to say suggest perhaps perhaps he's talking to Lavan and Betuel, and he said to them, "I want you to know, when I'm called about a shidduch, I spend a portion of my life answering shidduch calls. And I have a lot of friends. I'm going to ask to sing in a few minutes. I have a lot of friends in that age, and I answer a lot of shidduch calls. And a question inevitably comes, "Would you take Would you take him for your daughter?" Now, Rina's young. We're not working on shidduchim yet, but the question, "Would you take her for your daughter?" That's inevitably the question. And perhaps what Eliezer was saying to Lavan and Bethuel, he was saying, "I want you to know I want Yitzchak for me." And he was telling Bethuel about his bias because he was actually selling the shidduch. "You should know, Bethuel, I'm running the shidduch to your daughter, Rivka, do you get Yitzchak?" Eli The Ulai Eli, he said to He said to Bethuel, "I want you to know that I really want him." So, he used his bias to sell the shidduch. Now, I want to express something to to everybody here, to all my friends. It must be said delicately, the doros before us were holy beyond. It's not throwing a bone. Zero. My grandparents, our grandparents, my parents are giants, giants. I met a Yid here. We came together. He's He's going to give me a beautiful picture of Meyer Effie. He's a classmate of my dad. The generations before us, we tremble in front, and it's not throwing a bone. We stand I have nothing without my parents. Zero. Zero. And the generations did what they were supposed to, and we're here. We're thriving. Am Yisrael is testament to our parents and grandparents, to their loyalty to Hashem, their dedication, what they built in this country. My grandfather came on a boat from Czechoslovakia. What they built here is remarkable. Look around and understand that's our parents and grandparents. That's a truth. And if you if we don't absorb that, we have nothing further to absorb. Then we're we're just thinking wrong. Absorb. Feel the gratitude to parents. We're here because of our parents, our grandparents, our great-grandparents. Neither. The the the debt of gratitude, what they gave us worlds to reach the madreigas of emunah earlier dor, it's it's remarkable. There's something in today's dor that today's generation have that is life-changing. I became a student. I'm like in a I go different grades, different months, different times. Whatever I changed my life, the guys in Yeshiva have changing my life. I'm a different person. My kids, my daughters Yarina, my children, and the guys in Yeshiva have changed my life. The emes. I went there, nothing bothered me. That was my religion. I'm positive. Nothing bothers me. It's beautiful. That's wonderful. Except it's not true. Except it's not true. And today's generation is very pnimistic. They're very honest. This is not a knock on anybody. Our kids, my kids, our kids have conversations with us that we did not have with our parents. Our parents were perfect angels. That wasn't what the generation did. Our kids open up about insecurities, about difficulties, about all different types of thoughts that we did not examine, that wasn't in our world. Rightfully, it's not a knock on anybody. There's the possibility in today's world. I don't say all kids. I don't say all kids. There are kids who just go with the flow. And there are many, many kids. I challenge anybody. I have asked dozens of principals across the country. It reflects in many ways. I have asked dozens of principals of 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, what do you do about minyanim? And this is not minyanim was a certain soldier, loyal to Hashem. A kid today says, I don't I don't relate. What's nothing's hitting me here. Be a soldier. Do what we did. You just come. It's not hitting me. What's the experience? What's happening inside of you? How is this hitting you? And there's a generation that's feeling very deeply, very and processing and asking these types of questions and relating in this type of way. And I want to express to everybody here. I don't look at it Eliezer's like bias and a so I think it's beautiful. Of course he wanted Yitzchak for himself. I think that's amazing. That's amazing. It would be weird. It's not like it's not the hidden bias. He wanted to be a baruch Eliezer. It was a dream. Of course he wanted Yitzchak for his daughter. I think that's beautiful. And the fact that he acknowledged his bias and perhaps in chat, it might be pashut chat that he used it to sell the shidduch. Cuz the Torah doesn't say that Eli the first time. He took his bias and he used it perhaps to sell the shidduch. But this way or that, well, Eliezer Chazal tell us become a baruch at the end. And his deep thoughts, I have found our deep thoughts are beautiful, our insides are beautiful. It's a chiddush. We think outside could be nice, but the inside, take a youngster sitting in a lecture and the rebbe's saying a schmaka rishon acharon and he finds the sheer boring. He's afraid of his insides. I watch the Giants. I'm intrigued. Are they winning, losing? Usually losing. But the seder, I'm like intrigued and I hear sheer and it's not hitting me. Do you know that friction is wonderful? Do you know there real spaces and you could find Torah that lights your soul on fire and you care about? I had a funny interaction with a son of mine. My son made a bris baruch Hashem. Baruch Hashem, maybe it's a T4 I'm saying it. My son made a bris a month ago. Baruch Hashem, my wife and I became grandparents and my son made a bris baruch Hashem in Eretz Yisrael. And my wife and I went to the bris and my son, if I could be a biased father, he spoke. He was present and emotional. My daughter was there. The speech was wow. I was like the room he spoke. He was present and he experienced bringing his son to the bris of Avraham Avinu was wild. Named after his grandfather, baby was wild. Somebody came up to me and said nice speech. I said nice speech. It means like a good oratorical skills. So I told my other son, "Somebody said nice speech." I said, "Who did he speech?" So he said, "Tatty, you don't understand." He said, "Under 25, if we say nice speech, we just mean good person. We're not talking about his oratorical skills." You don't give a flip, he tells me. I'm He says, "We don't care. We say nice speech, we just mean good person. That's all we mean." There's no skills of speaking. It's interesting that we were taught younger like speaking techniques. I come tonight with no technique, zero. See, I'm not I want to talk to you. I want to learn Torah. I want to say what hit me on the parsha. And I want to ask everybody here the alei call for ourselves not to be afraid to analyze and tap into what we feel. I want to express that we have tremendous things to hand to today's door. We have a Messiah of a moon of of incredible action of unbelievable madregas. The way we can hand to today's door if we can connect to today's door. And I my friend who have shown runs a camp of beautiful place of big ocean and anybody who is involved with the youngsters it changes your life. And you can't touch it if you can't feel your own stuff. It's interesting. I was going the first meeting of the year in Yeshiva is very important to me and I was meeting the 40 dorm counselors. A dorm counselor is not a rule guy, is not a cap by us. It's a big brother who's a ready, a mentor, he's is like the heart and soul of Yeshiva. And on the way one of my kids asked to meet with me. It was a two-hour drive. And they shared very they shared real stuff and things that I had done wrong and it was like a very Well, I got to the meeting I had zero. I was coming I was not I was trained. For me to tap look inside, I'm not used to that. I'm used to smiling and to feel and cry and process. I came I had nothing. I was drained. I was so happy to come to that meeting drained because if I feel I can hope and I can ask please you feel your things and connect to others feeling their things. And I want to say to everybody here the A-like call. Call out your A-likes but not call it out like call out your biases. How gorgeous is the A-like? So nice. Eliezer wanted you to talk, isn't that nice? That's wonderful. Call out our things. When we're jealous, be jealous. It's a good thing to be jealous cuz you know why? Cuz I should made us that way. You know how many good conversations when we're jealous? You know how many good conversations you have when you really call out and get in touch when you're insulted what your spouse says? You know how many good places? And if people don't call it out, they stay. I have met people that are emotionally our four. Don't worry, it's good to be emotionally four, but acknowledge it. Go for a walk. I was insulted. My wife said, my husband said, go for a walk with that. If you don't, it owns you and it explodes out in all different ways. Call out our allies, but not call it out like the shame of it. It's very Hashem made us very, very good. And when we feel things, if we just walk with it and and and be with it and acknowledge it and enjoy it. Eliezer's ally is like so beautiful. To me, it's I I can't take my eyes off it. In a parasha that I've seen kedushim this I can't take my eyes off the ally. I always thought the ally is like the embarrassing Eliezer's bias. It's so cool. He wanted Yitzchak Avinu. It's so nice. That's wonderful. I really want that shidduch for my daughter. Isn't that nice? Think that's so touching. And Eliezer was in touch with that. Perhaps even used the taivasei to sell a shidduch. And became a baruch by the way through acknowledging his own want to be a baruch. To want to be connected to Avraham is such a wonderful thing. And I say to all of us, call out our allies. It's the possibility of today. If anybody is sitting with children today, the more sophisticated ones, the ones that aren't working in our schools. The more sophisticated kid of today, and again, the kids working shouldn't feel ashamed. It's it's good. But but but but also call out your allies. The allies call speak about it. Don't worry. Don't worry and ask yourself entire how does it hit me? What what's hitting me? What's resonating? Don't just write information and and just take notes and behave and pass the test. Ask what's hitting you. What's inside of you? Who are you? What energizes you? What gets you on fire? What touches you? What upsets you? Where are you on the inside? How How is your experiencing the inner experience gone? The A-line world. That's the first thing I wanted to share with everybody here. Open up to your A-line world. It's big. It's rich and don't be afraid of it. There's interesting stuff here. There's much to discover there. In the summer I had a pinched nerve probably like sign out all the stuff that could be. And the summer I had a pinched nerve. I never had that in my life. It was agony for 7 weeks agony. Last 2 weeks of this man 5 weeks of the summer agony. And Abba Carr, one of the guys the guys are honest. A guy said he said Rebbe you're A guy I was driving with him somewhere. He said you're angry at God. He saw I was in pain. He said you're ang- Are you angry at God? Personal question. It's personal. Want to tell him? Then I said okay I'm yes. He said you're a latter B? Said a latter B you asked if I am. I'm not telling I'm not I didn't come to be a place right now. You asked if I'm angry. I want to express that in being upset it gave me tremendous gifts. Tremendous. I can go through a tremendous gifts. Tremendous. It was like a beautiful experience. It gave me gifts in being upset. Gave me great levels of gratitude I hadn't come to. All different things in acknowledging where I was gave me stuff. It can give us stuff. Hashem made us right. Including our inner world is as beautiful as our external world. Delve in there. It's good stuff there. It's good stuff. Things we think are dark, things are I see on youngsters a drive for connections, a lot of loneliness today. Because kids today feel, and it wasn't always acknowledge what they're feeling and experiences production and doing, loneliness is very frequent today and there's a lot of stuff there. They want to connect. How do I connect? They're beautiful suggies, a drive to connect. Beautiful suggies emerge. There's a Let me share about the ship, then I'm going to ask to sing something and then let's sit down for questions. I like questions a lot. The Bardichever says like this and it connects to what we're saying. The Bardichever says like this. Rifka goes to the water. Eliezer sees Rifka go draw a water for herself, and Rashi brings it that her kad, her pitcher fills up miraculously. And Rashi says the Medrish that her pitcher, all of the sudden, the water jumped out of the well into Rifka's pitcher. It was like no effort involved. She starts lowering her pitcher at a nice, the water tzaddikim have miracles like this and the water just jumps into her pitcher. Says the Ramban, how did the Chazal know this in the pasuk? It says she filled up her pitcher. How did Chazal know that water jumped in? So, the Ramban says because later when she gets water for Eliezer and all his gamalim, this difficult task, it says she shayev, she draws the water. She works hard drawing. Says the Ramban, when she got water for herself, it doesn't say she was shayev, she drew the water. It doesn't mention anything about drawing. The answer is when she got water for herself, she didn't draw the water jumped in. When she got when she was doing Hesed to Eliezer, she was working hard. Asked the Bardichever and most people who learn this Ramban and this Hazal, but I want to quote the Bardichever because I want to connect him. So, asked the Bardichever that why didn't she have miracles when she was working for Eliezer? When she was taking a small pitcher, she had miracles. She needed it a lot more working for the kindness to Eliezer and there there were no miracles. There she worked hard, she was shyev. Why didn't she have miracles when she was drawing much more water? And answers the Bardichever the answer you'd expect him to say, but I want to I want to connect to it and talk about it. Says the Bardichever, when you're doing mitzvahs, you don't want miracles. Mitzvahs are not checklists. I put on film today, check. I did this, check. I prayed, one, two. It's not checks and x's, they're experiences. The human experience, the yid it has I told my son asked me, I went to the maker of esrogim and he put aside like the nicest esrog I've ever seen for me. And he said, Daniel, this is your esrog. And my son liked it, I said it's yours. So, Daddy, put a feel. It doesn't feel it doesn't look like me. I didn't feel there's a certain I didn't feel it was mine. I bought a different one and that he liked it, he took that one. Hashem doesn't doesn't want the mitzvah, he wants my mitzvah. He doesn't want an esrog, he wants my esrog. I asked my kids, we go along and I asked them, find an esrog that feels you. Each one has a different thing they like, they relate to in different years, it sometimes changes. Hashem doesn't want a mitzvah, he wants my mitzvah. My process, my journey, my story, my connection. He wants my relationship. We're all sitting here tonight. We're not the same story. Come we traveled from different places, came for different reasons, overcame different things in coming to a sheer. Our own life story that led us to tonight is all different. And all of that is part of the mitzvah. Says the Bardichever, when she was taking water for herself, it's a miracle Hashem put water in her pitcher. She's doing a mitzvah. Hashem doesn't make a miracle. It just happens. That would be that the mitzvah would be done. The chesed would be checklist it off. That the story of her engaging the chesed, her working, her struggles, her difficulty, her question, should I do it, should I not? It's impossible. The story of her relationship to the chesed, Hashem wouldn't make a miracle there? There's a story of Rifka's man's relationship to this chesed. It's a process and a story that Hashem doesn't get involved. It's It's It's Rifka's story of chesed. That's what the Bardichever writes. And each and every Yid's journey and connection and story of mitzvahs, of how it comes, I love in Yeshiva the process. I like one guy comes davens early and then another guy davens 3:00 in the afternoon and it's beautiful. It's praying to Hashem. It's his story. It's his story. Allow for the story. Allow for the journey. Allow for her journey and his journey. Let it unfold. Celebrate. Encourage. Let it be. Don't ask for uniform. If it's checks and X's, you did, you didn't do, did you? It's not a checklist. It's a Yid working towards, relating to, coming and building and creating and finding their connection and their meaning in this. So, that's the Bardichever writes. This Bardichever connects me to the A light O light bird. To the inner world of how it's hitting you, of how you're relating to this. So, I wanted to share this with everybody here. I want to ask all my friends to dig into the A lie world, to the inner world in ourselves, not to its beautiful. And all the inner things that exist inside of us. It's honest, it's real, and don't be afraid. You'll find a beautiful world of of how we relate to things, of what's going on inside. I want to ask before we do question and answers. I love doing questions. I don't I do not want them before because that's first that's I didn't want a speech. And I'm not either here to show why question is if when people ask Rabbi Miller, so we want to hear a God who contemplated a question. I just like friction. I like friction a lot. If I meet a Yid and don't like the Yid and that happens, that's a good friction. That's a work. That's wonderful. To ask Hashem likes Yidden and you don't see goodness, Yid. What's I find cool things in here. Very cool insecurities, all different things. What's happening? What's I don't like just oh Yidden are great. We love every Yid. I don't like this guy. A bocher comes to an intro, I don't like him. What should I do? It's a very good work. Very good. I get places. Questions are friction. Questions are wonderful. So, I don't want to it's not picking my brain. I I can express from guys and have sat with many many hundreds of people in friction. And there's just cool things. We get places. Friction drives. It's energy. So, questions are wonderful. I'd love to sit with the Rav and hear questions and hear friction and perhaps share with a friction has driven me different of friction's car, friction's friction's energy it brings. When something bothers, when we hear a chazzal, this Shabbos I heard a father say Baruch Shepetarani Me'onshi Shel Zeh. I have no idea of shat. I've asked sadikim and gedolim and I studied. There happens to be an Orach Chaim Kodesh on it. There's a Magen Avraham. The father gets up and he says, "Oh, I'm finished with my kid's sins." Now it's a shaila what it means. The Orach Chaim Kodesh says it means, "Thank you Hashem that till he's 13 he could be punished for my sins." Whoa. Shoo. He's not going to be punished from Since when are we so scared about Hashem part of I don't sit shoo. Hashem, you didn't punish me. Hashem loves me. The energy of this, he's so besimcha that his kid wasn't punished for his sins. What's the energy? I don't know. I don't know. It's a mystery to me. It's a mystery. I don't settle for bad answers. It's a mystery to me. And the pshat that I'm not going to be punished for his sins. Now the reason we're punished for our kids' sins is cuz cuz cuz they come from us. Oh, shoo. I'm no longer going to be punished from it. Why am I telling everybody about that? What did I just experience? Do you feel that? Is that something you expe- What's happening? I have no pshat. I don't know pshat. It's not cynical. Whenever you hear a cynical thing, don't believe it. Yiddishkeit is gorgeous. Don't believe a cynical pshat. Find the truth. Our minhagim are deep. Our minhagim are powerful. Our minhagim are life changing. This minag So ask questions and you get places from friction. Ask, wonder, and explore. You find out. You discover along the way of having friction. if you can come up and let's sing something for the chevra and then we'll go right to question and answers. Or questions and questions. >> [snorts] >> You do the Hashiveinu. Hashivenu. Somebody can say the same Hello. I want to show very >> [music] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] >> Thank you. >> [singing] [music] >> Yeah. >> [singing] [music] >> Yeah. >> [singing] >> show up. When [music] I show up. >> [singing] >> When [singing] I show up. When [singing and music] I show up. >> [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [singing and music] [music] [singing] [music] [music and singing] >> When I [music and singing] show up. When I show up. >> [music] >> When I [singing] show up. When I show up. >> [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [applause] >> Should we do one more song? Should we do one more song? All right, question. One more song. Everybody could sing though. Instead of words, let's just connect them. Let's all sing the words together. Let's do it. Let's [music] do it. >> [music and singing] [singing] [music] [music and singing] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing and music] [music and singing] [music] [singing] [music and singing] [singing] [music] [singing] [music and singing] [music] [singing] [music] >> Yes, my Lord is coming back to the city of David. >> [music and singing] >> Yes, my Lord is coming back for his own. Yes, my Lord is coming back [music and singing] to the city of David. Oh, praise [singing and music] the Lord. Yes, my Lord is coming back to the city [singing] [music] of David. Yes, my Lord is coming back for his own. Yes, my Lord is [singing] coming [music] back to the city of David. Oh, Oh, praise the Lord. >> [singing and music] [music] [music and singing] [singing] [music] [singing] [music] [singing] [music and singing] [singing] [music] [music and singing] >> My Lord is coming back to the city [singing] of David. >> [music] >> My Lord is coming back for his own. >> [music] >> Yes, my Lord is coming back to the city of David. >> [singing] >> Oh, praise the Lord. >> [music] >> Yes, my Lord [singing] is coming back to the city of David. >> [music] >> Yes, my Lord [singing] is coming back for his own. Yes, my Lord is [music] coming back to the city of David. Oh, praise the Lord. >> [applause] [applause] >> It's like it's not beautiful. Beautiful job. Thank you for your beautiful words as always. As always, I want the rough to know I said the same word on Aaron Shamash to a group of students, 20 students. Not one tenth as good as the rabbi's session. Ask them. Tell you. Good night. Perfect transition actually in terms of the first question we wanted to ask of Rephaelish. I think Rephaelish is going to get mad at me for a minute. That's okay cuz he said honesty is good. Honesty is good and anger is good. It's good. Whether he would agree or not, Rephaelish's approach in terms of Yiddishkeit education, mahalach in life, is probably one of the most transformative forces out there right now in the Torah world. Emes. Emes lamito. Whether the rabbi agrees or not, I'm telling you the rabbi is emes. It's emes. I can see it from my talmidim, my talmidos, my our communities, from the students in yeshivas. Rephaelish's Torah and his mahalach philosophy in life, positivity, the warmth, the realness, the sincerity is just it's a it's a force and perhaps the most powerful force right now in the Torah world and our communities. Where did it come from? Did Rephaelish wake up 26 years ago before Waterbury and kind of fell out of a way and just poof? It happened. Where does Waterbury, where does the philosophy come from? Where was it until 26 years ago? Where was it until five years ago? And why is it so prevalent now in our yeshivas, our seminaries? We see everybody in in room and thousands and thousands beyond, are really connecting to R' Akiva's Torah, and not just R' Akiva's Torah, but really the mahalach that he has given to so many of us the way we think about our avodah, think about our trajectories and our choices. Is there any answer to that question? Or is it take There's I want I want to talk about the friction of this question. I want to talk about when anybody asks what they're sharing, what they're giving, that it's making impact, who said you have a right? And people will ask, "Who's your rebbe? Who did you ask? Do you have a right to just say anything that's We have a messiah, we have tzaddikim, we have chachamim, we [clears throat] have gedolim. And and the friction of these questions, like who you Where you coming from? Who gave you a right? I want to express that what I'm describing is not a shita. And I Everything that My anything that I have is from my parents, my grandparents. Anything, any willingness for honesty, my parents are incredible. My father was an ish emes, my mother is somebody who pursued honesty. They both made decisions, and they're both medakdek the bikush ha'emet. I want to express that anything I'm expressing, I'm only sharing I did not matter of cry. A cry for a and didn't cry. It wasn't in my world. I met guys and people. I met guys and girls that are crying, that are feeling. They've given me tears. I start crying. Somebody shares something. Not all the time. I've gotten tears. And And what I want to express that it's less of the shape of what we're describing in our own youth, their own relationship. They can't be robotic. It's not a shape of It's not Maybe Maybe just do it. How many of parents I don't get it. My kid just go to minyan. Just get up and do it. Why can't they? Why can't they? We were able to. Why can't they just do the shabbos we did? Just do it. Why not? Why can't they? We did it. We just did it. And it just worked. Why can't they? It's not shabbos. It's not a philosophy. It's simply we're discovering ourselves, our own the story of our generation is emerging. So I want to express that what I'm trying to share is reaching a lot of people. And it's not mine. Zero. Zero. I'm expressing what hundreds of guys and girls are expressing, are teaching, are sharing. And I'm trying to express people what's happening. I have a friend who's a massive talmud chacham. And he said, "I listened to the shiur." I said, "I'm so embarrassed." He knows much more than me. I don't prepare properly. He said, "Daniel, I'm not listening for you. I'm listening to the guys I'm hearing." And he's spot-on. It's just [clears throat] true. It's just true. It's true. I want to read a letter that a girl wrote. That a girl wrote 2 weeks ago this letter. It's a recent one, but I want to read this to describe something. >> This is a 20 25 mid-20s from from a Hamisha home. She said, "Thank you so much for the opportunity to come down and speak to you. Want to tell you how much your Yeshiva means to me. I feel part of something big and great even though I'm technically not part of it. It's a lifeline for me to listen to sheerim that are real and wake up my soul. To be able to listen some to songs from your guys that are on an amazing journey. When I listen to the songs, I feel that I'm not alone in this. So, thank you for being my rebbe without you knowing it. Thank you for creating a space where honesty and healing and real connection is the norm. It's a huge gift from Hashem. I'm able to plug into this amazing place. I really love your mesifta and I'm constantly following everything that goes on there. It's the most fascinating place and it makes my journey so much more bearable. When I'm plugged into a place that is all about everyone going through their own stories and being honest about it. A Hasidic year of therapist and is about 40 years old came to Yeshiva a week ago. He told me I came here to see kids struggling interesting. Said, "I'm going to be honest with you." He said, "I saw I've been here for 5 hours. I saw honesty here." He said, "I think I'm going to change my life. I don't know if I can. I'm afraid, but I think I'm going to change my life." This has nothing to do with people struggling. It has nothing to do with what I'm expressing. Nothing. It's zero of mine. Zero. Zero. I'm reporting things I'm seeing from a young generation that's that's and it's not a it's not a philosophical thing. We're trying to create No, it's like not a philosophy. It's questions. It's It's It's where we are, how we're experiencing things. It's not born out of a shita. It's not like that. [clears throat] It's our journey and try and what it's leading us to. It's changed how I learn Torah. It's changed songs I like. You'll like different songs when you open up to your inside. Music that before you don't connect to all of a sudden like you connect to it means something. It changes a lot of things. It just changes when you open up to your inside. It's what's happening. There are pasukim in Tanakh, there are pasukim in Tanakh that speak about that Mashiach times there's going to be a lev even go to lev basar. It's pasukim in Tanakh. Just like kibbutz galios in the same pasukim that predicted the the coming together of the exiles, the different communities are going to merge, Sefard, Ashkenaz, Chassidish, Litvish, is predicted, spoken about in in the pasukim in Tanakh. It speaks about a lev even is going to become a lev basar. People are going to feel People are going to feel this is spoken about. It's really spoken about and this is what's going on. The kid who's well-behaved in school, you know, so we have a kid in school he's like such a struggle for our system. He's just not behaving. He's not like acting the way There's a sugia inside. He's relating to things. It's not about is he a good boy, is is she a good girl. They're souls relating and connecting and figuring out what's that neshama, what's what's happening, what's that neshama's hole. [clears throat] This is what's going on. So, I want to say Reb Gamliel to this thing that I'm trying to record the conversations I'm having with guys. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to internalize it and my sense is that the whole world needs to hear it. That's my sense and I'm trying to report it. I'm not trying to give anything of my own. My own thoughts and stuff, that's that's a different problem. This I want to express and but I want to give my parents my parents are amazingly honest with action. And my rebellion and if anybody's an honest with action, there's a therapist I know of who would tell youngsters next minion. Like stop with your anxiety and this and that next minion. Let me cure your anxiety. This therapist, all his kids are off the derech. I don't say it. I don't say it in a mean way. He's a good person. But it's in There's an There's an arrogance to say to kids, we have a whole generation The anxiety of my children is my ignoring my inside for a lot of my life. Eureka, we have an anxious generation. They're feeling and there's a sug'ya had to be present anxiety. Had to work through, had to talk through, had to be present. It's a sug'ya to say that there's any type of speech today, all they need is a patch is a remarkable arrogance and a remarkable denial of of Hashem, of what he's showing us, he's leading us. Any type of attitude, all they need is a patch and there's all versions of that is an arrogance. To me, if we're humble enough to learn Torah, to be present, to say I don't know, then we're humble enough to ask what's happening around us. So, the we the the It's complicated to teach anything that to share anything, but if you're just sharing experiences, treat them as questions, but there's an experience going on and this friction myself. Guys call me out. It's a very tough place whatever because honest. Guys don't want like the kishka thing to say or the positive. No, no, no. You're not feeling, you're not hearing what I'm saying. You're not You're not present to what I'm saying. You're not You're not You're not there. And and the the the the the of the generation and so where do you get this from? From the guys of today, from our kids of today, from my children, from the guys in Yeshiva, and trying to understand it, trying to be impacted by it, trying to grow along with it. That's That's what I feel. Beautiful. I once heard Reb Chaim Leib say at the RCA convention I think last year that something to the effect of that people aren't made of limbs and organs, and they're made of stories. People are really stories. Every person has a story, has a journey. Can Reb Chaim Leib share with us, maybe l'shem Shamayim, one great story that comes to mind about where uh Reb Chaim Leib's philosophy really he saw the impact in this kid who's flying in his family or maybe one example of where there was a failure, where maybe it didn't pan out as uh just uh if in in the theme of honesty. Wow. I This This probably is not what Reb Chaim Leib wanted, but I'm going to answer because to give over guys' stories, I don't I don't want to like I don't I'm not a book waiting to happen. I'm not like the the interactions with guys. I like people a lot, but I don't I don't want to like I don't want to go there. I want to I want to tell you a story. Cuz life's a story. I want to tell you a story and talk about it for a few minutes. I'm curious what people here think. Is Rena here? She's here. I don't know if she's in the room. I'm going to ask Rena this Maybe Rena will my daughter will pop in. I'll tell you something interesting that a lot of us parents grapple with. I was in Eretz Yisrael for 3 days a month ago. I keep [snorts] going back there. I just want to talk about that little kid. He's very cute. But um Baruch Hashem, we had a grandson, Yeshua. And it was a very emotional few days. I went I went with my mother. We flew there to my wife, my daughter Rena, my son Yisrael Meir. We flew together with my mom. We went right to my father's kever straight from the airport. And going with my mother there was a very powerful, difficult experience. Then we went to visit my in-laws. Went to the bris named after my father. It was like a powerful, very powerful couple of days. And in the middle of these three days, a young man comes up to me. Probably young 30s. And he's tall guy. Looks down at me. Says, "Shalom Aleichem. You threw me out of Waterbury." Wow. "You threw me out of Waterbury. Shalom Aleichem." He said you weren't wrong to throw me out. I did kacha kacha, but the way you did it was wrong. And I disagree with him. I was wrong to throw him out. I was wrong to throw this person out of there. Unconscious to me it's like crazy. Crazy. I threw a guy out of What does that mean? It's crazy. How do you sins of yesterday? That's a story. That's a story. That's That's like a deep deep sugia. How do you relate to to your mistakes of yesterday? Especially ramifications. You threw a guy out. That's years of life. That's not it. This was his hope. This was his place of hope. You ended the hope. It's crazy. How do you relate to the mistake you made yesterday? Maybe you failed in parenting with your child. Maybe you failed there was something we that we could have done differently. How do you relate to yesterday's mistake? So Reb Gavriel was telling that stories of success. The story of our own life, how we relate to yesterday's mistake is like very powerful because for the other person I have to be present. They're angry and have a right to be. And I can own it and stand up there but how for it's very hard. The ability to tell oneself and this is the truth. Yesterday's mistake Hashem runs the world. You didn't mess up Hashem's plan. There are people whose kids are are not from today and they blame their own mistakes. And they did things that might have been wrong. They had an anger problem, serious things, serious stuff. And there's a space for yesterday's mistake that today it's hashgacha, not what you tell the other person. It's very hard to live in this wild space. Owning, taking achrayis, hearing a person and you're not beating yourself up. I'm here today. And there's chuvah. And there's and there's process and there's and not beating up the guy of yesterday, the person of yesterday. You were a human being. You were a human being. It's funny Shimon and I who are friends and we met in the summers the last couple of summer. They're very honest person and as anybody involved with kids you make mistakes. And relating to your mistake, not being afraid and we we talk about forgiveness of others, liking yourself. I was a good person. The guy threw him out, a very good person, caring. Very. And doing things I thought and even mistakes, even could say acting wrong. That person was good, accepting that person and accepting the hashgacha of it today. There's an I've heard Reb Volbe say about sin in front of a thousand people. I heard Reb Volbe Dali Shore. I heard this live with these ears say yesterday's aveira for you today is hashgacha Hashem. There's a sugia like this. One of the great lines in history is Kayin's line to Hashem. And when Adam Harishon heard Kayin's line, he smacked himself on the head. Kayin Adam Harishon when he sinned do what all of us think you would do by sin? We just hide. We run for cover. Shame. That's what Adam did. Kayin is chutzpah. Kayin says to Hashem, "Did I mess up your plan, God? God will have any minute say, "You can't handle my sin? You had a certain plan for the You know, somebody goes on a shidduch. Say, "I messed up my shidduch. I shouldn't Hashem had like a plan your children, grandchildren, great-great You messed up Hashem's world now? He had like a big plan it baloney. Baloney. Hashem could work with all my mistakes. God will have what that's what Kayin said to God. It sounds crazy. It sounds like you're giving up responsibility. God, you can't handle my sin. I messed up I messed up this guy messed up a whole line of our people. I threw the guy out. So that's I messed up Hashem's plan? Hashem, you created this entire world but Kayin came along and he like rocked it all? God, is my sin too much for you to carry? Did I ruin it all all your plans? That's what Kayin says to Hashem. When Adam Harishon heard that a human being could say that to Hashem, he whacked himself on that tough panim and he said, "That's chutzpah. That's that's what I needed all these years." Now, it sounds like giving up responsibility and it's actually living. I have seen the two approaches of parents. Shame and people stop parenting and it's tragic. They feel like they lost the right. Tragic, a big mistake. That's the Adam approach and Adam regretted it. Tough panim. The Kayin approach is I'm here today. I'm a dad. I'm a mom. I'm here today. Here today, Hashem will Hashem could hold. Did I sin, Hashem? Did I Did I mess things up? I'm out. I'm not out. I'm in. I'm in. It's It's much more you live, you continue, and you're in. You're in. You're very in. You're not out. Literally not. You're not out. So, my gallery asked for a story. Wanted success, failure. I want to say that on a a story of mistakes of yesterday, and just express that there's a there's a there's a whole It's funny. I I wanted to speak to my daughter about this. It's interesting because youngsters don't grapple like us older people on this. I still feel like a youngster. I identify as a guy in his 20s. So, I You know, I I'm not so old, but my my brother-in-law told me that you don't get older, just higher ages become young. So, I relate to that a lot. But But I I do want to I want to express on on as you get older, the mistakes of yesterday, how do you relate to yesterday's mistake? Very a lot of love of self, a lot of acceptance. Probably the main mechila we need in the world is to us, to ourselves. We know the atzmi. In a real way, not a pretend way, in a way like Kayin. Kayin's thing is the coolest. But Kayin says to Hashem, is my sin too big for you, God? You can't handle it? Like, I messed it up? Kayin's hakara is very powerful. He's not being brazen. He's not saying I didn't mess up. Saying a deep and warm in Hashem. Hashem Hashem's fine. People People How many people walk around Hashem's angry at me? Hashem's angry. Hashem's like, "Living? He's so upset you missed Shacharis. Can't handle it." See, pal, what's It's not It's not emes. Hashem loves us. He's like the good type of father who really loves us. Real. Real. Real. Mamash. It's It's not a truth. Kayin had that a car to have that a car Cain did something really bad. He killed his brother. None of us do that and anything like remotely similar to that. He killed his brother. He said to Hashem he had that car that Hashem could the world will run. Hashem could run his world. That a car somehow it's not what you it's not what you share. It's complicated to live on these two planes. That's the story I wanted to share. Beautiful. Actually for the build up for the next question perhaps and and all of us probably heard it from of Kalish at some point this question and if the rub does not want to answer also but um I believe in Hashem which is you know the philosophy that and of Kalish mentioned that boy was thrown out of school. Is there the stories are unbelievable beautiful inspirational and boy diving chakras at 3:00 it's a beautiful mincha and you know a kid does is there a line where there is perhaps no a need to clamp down and take the I would say maybe the old-fashioned approach of you know mincha shabbos I want to I want that question of of of unconditional love but maybe there's boundaries is there borders? And the answer is no zero. Unconditional means it's zero. That means zero. It's not a shape it's just true. Think about our kids. I think people put I wish I beg fathers and mothers be natural. And look inside. Now we get frustrated go dig a little deeper. It's not like unconditional love is true. That's my that's my son. That's my daughter. It's just a true. That's my son. That's my daughter. We get so caught up in things and insecurities. who's going to say what? Oh, no, people are seeing it. We get caught up in stuff. Unconditional love is not a philosophy, it's a truth. That's my son. That's my son there. What are you talking? He did this. It's my It's funny. There's a rebbe in the yeshiva who has a son. Somebody was upset at the rebbe's son and wanted to complain to the rebbe. I was just thinking like, you can complain, but just remember it's his son and he loves him and he's not going to see too much He's not going to see him That's his son. Unconditional love is not a sheet, it's a truth. That's my son. Yitzchak loves Esau cuz it's true. That's my son. I want to say when we can get past me this race and get to the truth. That's my child, a mother, a father, it's the deepest prayer we ever gave. The Rambam writes this because we're saying to Hashem, we're your children. We're your children, Hashem. That's my child. That's And that's the truth. We're Hashem's children. And unconditional love has zero boundaries. It's nothing to do with the boundary, giving musar. But I don't get it if they did a bad discussion or whatever. What's it to do with the love? It's not a butt on the love. People confuse The love should The love doesn't end on You're my son. What's it to do with anything? You're my child. You're my son. It's not linked to anything. It's a truth. That's my son. That's my daughter. It's not a butt on the love. It's not a tnai. It's not anything. So, people say, "I don't get it. Isn't there a boundary?" The boundary is not a condition on the love. The love is unconditional. Are there conversations? Are there dreams? But, of course. We all have dreams. We all have big dreams for our children. It's not a It's nothing to do It's not a boundary in the love. The love has no shaychus. He that's my child, that's not a negotiable point. Any parent knows this. Are my children, is there anything they could do that would be that's not my son? Nothing in the world, nothing. They're my child. Does anybody have a plan they cannot be a son? There's no such thing. I'm my father's son, it's a fact. It's a fact. Father loves his son, that's my child. A mother loves their children, that's my That's my son, that's my daughter. It's There's nothing Nothing in the world, zero, zero. Are there dreams? Are there hopes? Are there frustrations? A thousand percent. It's not nothing to do the boundary has nothing to do with the unconditional of the love. The love is a love for you all eternity, that's my child. It's a space, I think it's the space we want to get to. I think we find like frustrations and temporary things. The best thing with our children is to If you lost touch with that space, stop being mechanical a little bit. And find your space again. Sometimes cuz of other things and embarrassment and pressure and overwhelmedness and all the other things, I like when parents go with their own instinct. Our instincts are very good, and we have to reconnect to that space, that's my child. If I'm not in touch with the nigayus, the bias of that love and the truth of that love, maybe step away for a few minutes and figure out ways. Sometimes watching your child when they're sleeping can bring you back there. Sometimes watching them play sports, watch them sing, watch them just run around and enjoy, get back to the space, that's my son, that's my daughter. Then from that space, oh, there's other feelings, there are other conversations that are very good and nice, but that's a space, that place, that's my child. That's my child. Get to that space cuz it's true. It's just true. People ask like how you know the Hashem you speak about? [cough] Cuz he's called the father and I'm a father. I know the father and things that don't fit that aren't true. There's no such thing in a father. No father behaves like that. Hashem is my father. When I see things that I say to Hashem, it's not our father. But ask yourself, that's friction. When you have ways you say, "I would never do that to my kids." I I we get angry at Hashem. We'd never Hashem controls everything. What are you doing? That's a good friction. That's a lot of works in our own life. I would never do that to my son. Never. Never. I would never do that to my child. Never. A bocher told me within this week a bocher told me that I don't acknowledge Hashem. I'm way too mad at him. I'm not ready to acknowledge his existence. I'm I'm ready I want him to be angry at Hashem. A father would never I would never behave like that as a father. That's a good friction. You get places when you have that [cough] friction. But unconditional, it's not Well, you did this and this wrong. Baloney. Baloney. Don't explain like even tragedy. Well, we did we weren't so good. There's no father like that. It's not the p'shat. It's not the p'shat. The p'shat is that a good Hashem is working with us. There's a habad. There's a story. Fine. Don't explain the Holocaust. Were we being bad kids? That's the dumbest answer I heard in my life. On your kids, do you have a story? Well, he wasn't behaving. I don't care if my kids are behaving. I love them. It's my son, my daughter. There's a habad. There's bigger buying. There's there's eternity. Hashem loves our people and his entire people and there's much more than we see. Don't accept something that's not in your world. Fathers love their children. Hashem's the best father, the best. He's the creator father and he's the ultimate atom. He's a father. If you have a friction to that, go on a lot of books. Beautiful. Maybe cuz we're in a community setting, can we kindly share with us, you know, the philosophy that the rabbi is sharing in terms of education and Ava and understanding and forgiveness internally translating and maybe transferring that to a community. You know, people who are, you know, families just living in a community. How does that translate into beyond the Yeshiva seminary experience and into our shuls and feelers there? I want to say that it's less about tolerance and love and more about honesty. I don't When a guy's talking in shul, I don't mind going up and talking to a guy about it, but I like honesty. I ask myself, I have insecurities. I'm I'm I'm supposed to be the principal of school and there's talking by I love the davening best. There's talking by davening. I always say to myself, "Daniel, what's with you?" "You're in charge I look around. Who's in charge here?" And there's talking by davening. So, what's my motive to do it? And maybe I want to say it's it's embarrassing for me. What's my motive? Now, I ask myself, I sometimes let talk in a lot of kids with energy spend their lives in shul. I want to say you're wanted here. You're wanted here. You're wanted here. And I think quiet in shul, I don't like talking in shul. I don't like it at all. I get more nervous than most from it. I don't like lack of decorum. The guys laughing, I'm like, "Guys, decorum." They're like, "Decorum?" Like, "Be quiet." Like, they don't want to do that. They're very respectful, but they laugh when I call out for some decorum. And I like a quiet minyan. I happen to love our minyan cuz guys pray to God. It's very sincere. And as much as I want quiet, I want sincerity, unforced. I want beauty. I want prayer. The two worst minyanim I ever went to were silent and it was like it was like it was I Both minyanim I said that never go back to and haven't. It was like sudden it was only through the quiet that was the problem. It's no chaos, warmth and beauty and love. The rule of you could feel this room you feel love and the people like each other real. We like each other. We're happy to be here. You could feel it in a room. So of course you want quiet but make sure it's beautiful. Make sure it's nice. And yes, so I want to say that when we're saying like acceptance it sounds like craziness. The I invite I asked Shawn today I want you to come to see the Shiva. I invite people to come people come all the time. See them let's wish Shawn a shana tova. It's not a wild place. I don't like wildness. Wildness is who wants wildness? It's no more wild than this room is. Who wants this the sugi is not one of acceptance. It's honesty. Honesty. Comfortability. We're people. We're all people. I don't look at it a kid when we have a kid struggling in our community none of us have a crystal ball. We don't know the tikun for a neshama. I want to express my dream we for all my kids and every guy comes to Shiva. I want a picture. He's a husband, a father. And often we get that picture. How about a guy who's 40? I know somebody who's 40 you hardly can get out of bed. I brought him to gedolim they say he's from the biggest neshamas. I brought him to kabbalists. They say he's from the biggest neshamas they've ever seen in his life. We don't know the tikun. I think he's tikun for the whole door. I still hope and pray to Hashem. I beg Hashem. Let him get married. Let him have children. I beg you Hashem. But I want to say I have no crystal ball. There a lot me and you don't know. [snorts] Don't pretend we know. It's dishonest. So we're allowed to have a certain dream. The guy in shul who even talks sometimes like the holiest guy in shul. I'm not saying he should talk in shul. What I'm saying in honest approach. That's frustrating for us he doesn't make our shul look great and talk to him. I'll go on a walk. I asked God, "Please, let's let's try to have some decorum in shul." I don't I don't mind the conversation. I will say have the conversation known. He might be much bigger than me, much bigger. I have my things. He has his thing. I'm not a world of acceptance of everything. I'm a world I like honesty. I like I like yelling at guys cuz of course I think parents should yell at their kids, of course. We're not promoting just a crazy world, honesty. It's a shtickel crazy. Honesty is nuts. Honesty, real, authentic, be present, talk, real conversation, but call yourself out where it's coming from. And figure it out, and work it [snorts] out, and together. I happen to think a rav should love his minyan. I love the minyan and whatever there is talking by the minyan. There really is. And according something we're working on, it's a process. I'm not willing to truck it. I think it's one of the nicest minyanim in the country. There's a certain sweetness, and people happy you could watch prayer. It's beautiful. So the quiet to work in practice good with the the guys talk for a lot of different reasons, and partnership it's not wild or crazy, and most people are quiet. I just want so with our own children, with the people of our shul, we're not promoting chaos. Chaos is bad. Normal organization, beautiful minyanim. [clears throat] More connection. Just if we need more singing, if we need it quicker or slower or figure out what's happening. Just an honest situation that the minyan's beautiful. So it's not about letting everything go, and chaos is bad. Can nobody That's like not a good thing, and they're healthy. A person could be a rav and work and talk. How do we get more quiet? We needed decorum. We need a matzevah of tfila, but a matzevah of tfila. I've seen silence, which has nothing to do with prayer. It's quiet. So somebody's ego is He has a quiet shul. I hear. Get me a different minion. I I I like the person, not his minion. Beautiful. Yeah. Mr. Finkel, we have no quiet I mean in Baruch Hashem. I mean I'm very noisy. Very noisy. I invite the Rav to come to our minyan to share in some minyan muscle. Um I I always feel badly, you know, the Rav has a long trip back, but maybe one formal question and others can smooth it the Rav wants afterwards. But um hard question to answer cuz I'm sure it was asked all the time, but is there one particular middah one middah that this door this generation has to be hyper-focused on? You know, you ask 10 people, you'll get like 10 answers. Is there one middah that Rav Kanievsky thinks we should really be hyper-focused on? >> I want to I'm I'm thrilled Rav Galler asked this. I want to speak to everybody here. I asked one of my kids if I have a right to say this and I ask you and I want to talk about this. I'm talking about a generation that's I want you to hear this and I want I want to say it I want to say it to everybody here. I'm asking my daughter and I'm asking people older than me to start analyzing their own feelings, places we didn't go. I'm looking into my own inner world because of my kids and because of guys of today. Rav Galler said, "What do you want to say to kids of today?" I want to say learn to appreciate and respect and this sounds old school and I don't care to sound. A kid wants to get me says, "You sound like every principal." Okay. I'm not looking to sound the same or different. I'm looking for what's honest. So, that doesn't it doesn't hurt me. What I want to express to everybody here is learn to experience love even different than you know. Because we're feeling and and we're expressive, if if somebody gives you love, if a parent who couldn't lean into their own feelings and can't express it in the way you express it or even understand your journey, understand how to receive massive love from them in different ways. Even though you might have a certain love language and a certain thing you're craving and and I'm talking if if I didn't say to my generation to try to understand, I want to tell the youth of today, learn to experience and appreciate if our parents are doing things and our parents love us more than anybody in the world, fact. Dad and mom, a youngster thinks a certain friend loves me, they think a rebbe loves me, and I love the guys in yeshiva, I don't touch a mother's love, don't touch, it's nothing, it's not it's not in the same stratosphere. I don't touch a father's love. Try to be present to the love of a parent cuz it's true. Try to plug into it. Don't just say, "Well, it's not delivered in the way I want it." And that might be true, and be present to that. And you can grieve that and mourn that, but also learn to receive and be present to that which is the truth. And I would say to kids of today, learn to discover your parents' love of you, to feel it, to plug in, to experience even when there's there's for sure things happening, and there's a generation feeling somewhat lonely, especially because we're learning to feel later, I would express to today's generation to plug into the love of parents and grandparents, and to see the beauty of what they've given us as we're acquiring our own things and our own story. One of the tzaddikei hador said to me, "I feel like Choni HaMa'agel, I don't understand today's generation. As we're processing our own story, learn to see the beauty in our parents, our grandparents. Learn to see the beauty in in in Yira, in Yira Shamayim. They're all different journeys getting there. It says I've read this week's parsha, it says Avraham Avinu gave Yitzchak everything. And the Sefarim write that the Sefarim write that Avraham gave Yitzchak everything, that through Yitzchak's Yira you come to Avah also. And the merging of the generations, this is a generation of Avah coming with generations of Yira. And learn to value the Yira that brings to Avah, where we are came from our parents. See the beauty in everything our parents gave us. So, I would say my father always spoke to most about gratitude. I'm talking about a world of gratitude. I'm talking about a world of seeing the beauty our parents gave us, of understanding the love our parents have for us, understanding the Messiah, what the new things were were conquering and and and and grabbing onto appreciate what we were given. It's allowed us to experience the new things. So, I guess the short is is gratitude, appreciation, understanding from where we come, understanding the love that brought us here, and learning to plug into that. That's what I would say I want to say to the youth of today. Beautiful. Beautiful. I want to thank Rabbi Kelemen again for being here tonight. Really, we we cannot express our thanks to Rabbi Kelemen for really for everything that he does for our shul, our communities, our talmidim, our talmidos. And Rabbi Kelemen should have Rabbi Kelemen continue to have Rabbi Kelemen be able to inspire so many of us until 120. God willing, good health. Amen. Thank you. Thank you. Have an excellent night, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. That's a really such a special Amazing. Great stuff. I hope that it'll work.