Honest Israel Day Parade Announcers

ladies and gentlemen welcome to the celebrate Israel 2023 parade amazing institutions and organizations are here to celebrate the state of Israel and I gotta say nothing Garner's support for the state of Israel like blocking off all of Fifth Avenue on a Sunday couldn't agree more there's a lot of happy Jews here today and a lot of pissed off Italians let's take it to the street and see who we have marching for the state of Israel for Midi not Israel first up we have neurotic Jewish lady with a clipboard yelling at everybody for going in the wrong order this is her pride and joy she is like The Wedding Planner of this event I've never seen anybody so enthusiastic about Israel and so unhappy in life up next we got the Young Israel of Elizabeth New Jersey and it's led by a very yeshivish looking person check him out he's got plain black sneakers wearing an untucked button-down shirt and a t-shirt over that it looks like the only t-shirt he owns are from previous Israeli day parades he looks like he's dress for log bomber for sure he's not really a Zionist but his contract says he has to be here next up it looks like we have a random from school from the five towns I didn't even know they were pro-israel but here they are they are dressed in very firm clothes boiling hot in June you got to admire that you know they look they look like they just got back from Orlando for peso unbelievable you got to admire that it's easy to be out here in shorts and a t-shirt but in those my God they're sweating coming up next we have all boys school based in Jersey full of raging hormones they're here for one reason and it's not Israel let me tell you oh boy School of raging hormones was actually the original name for the Yeshiva they're marching like this the heads to the sky they need this hours they need this to graduate they're hoping they could just see a girl up next we have a group of Seminary girls who just got back from Israel they've already had six fights with their parents about how they're making Aliyah you see the tears are flowing the voices are screeching the skirts are long they don't even know that in a few years they'll barely be religious and up do you hear that do you hear the sounds of that look here we have and all black marching band I'll take it I don't know why they're here but it sounds great and we're gonna go for it the only thing I can drum on is a bema look here we have a random guy on stilts we're all okay with it because he's just waving an Israeli flag as if we didn't need to feel any short of his Jews we have an ad for genetic testing very important very important very important up next we have Abbas Torah of East Orange New Jersey and this is one of those schools that had too little of a budget I couldn't even afford a real speaker so it's just a Rabbi with an old iPod Shuffle yes I said iPod Shuffle he's playing Cotton Eye Joe and we we love him for it it's very nebby but it's a nice effort ladies and Gentlemen let's hear it for former Governor Andrew Cuomo he's got one hand on the Israeli flag and another hand in his secretary's hair and you know he went to Israel a couple years ago as per the custom he kissed the ground as well as a few interns really that makes sense it wouldn't be the Israel Day Parade without our protesters yes he look over to the side we have Natori Carta hasirim we have BDS activists and pro-palestinian activists holding up posters of a nuclear bomb over Israel let me tell you something nothing says Progressive liberal values more than a nuclear bomb blowing up a free country listen to Cherry Carter they're basically the Westboro Baptist Church of Orthodox Jews but you know you gotta admire their calligraphy oh we have the klezmer 65 and up group they're limping yesterday limping but she's playing a clarinet that's impressive okay now we are gonna go live to our street correspondent Leo Ben Shimon who's with the people of the parade Leo what do you got for us we're here live with the Jewish influencer who uses their platform to tackle complex Israel issues in her fun 30 second videos thank you so what do you think is something that your followers should know about Israel I have a dead sea products are amazing what about Jew hatred what do you think should combat Jew hatred online we need to end Jew hatred everywhere but also Jewish hair frizziness with Ava Desi products they're amazing thank you okay uh make sure to follow her at that crazy hot Jew back to you that wraps up this year's celebrate Israel parade 2023 see you at visiting also also it's important as the Jewish people to never forget these hair extensions thank you