The Codependency Trap Nobody Talks About #relationships #selfesteem #psychology

Is there a connection between low self-esteem and codependency? One definition for codependency is basically somebody searching for their own identity in another person. There's actually a very deepic saying that goes back to the I'll say it in English. If I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you. But if I am I because I am I and you are you because you are you then I am I and you are you. In other words, if my identity only comes about in the context of defining myself relative to you, your approval of me, your opinion of me, your validation of me, then I don't even have an identity for myself. I have to know who I am and appreciate who I am. And I have to appreciate that you are also an independent person with your own value and then we can come together. So you ask is low self-esteem connected to codependency? Yes, precisely because codependency is basically when I don't have value for who I am. In fact, I don't even think I am anyone until you give me permission to be. So I try to get that permission from you, which obviously is going to be a disaster because I can't get that from you. And the truth is the only place where we can get that kind of validation for our existence that we can be told that we have absolute value just because we exist is from our maker. And so when we look for that from a human being, we're trying to get from a human being that which only our maker can give us. And obviously it leads to disaster.