The fine line between CONTROL & KINDNESS

you know they say depatch it's an acronym d-e-t-a-c-h detach don't even try and change him or her let go and let go is not abandonment let go is let go of expectations a lot of people I hear they get so burnt out they become hardened their hearts become hard and then they say well you know what I was a people pleaser and now my recovery for being a people pleaser is I have to be a jerk they don't say I have to be a jerk but sometimes they do actually but they you know no I have to say no it's toxic for me to say yes and that's unfortunate because what was doing harm was not but kindness it wasn't that you were being kind to someone it was that you were being kind in exchange for the illusion of control the kindness wasn't really gratuitous kindness it wasn't for fun and for free the love was a manipulative way of feeling like I can assure myself that this person is going to behave the way I know that they need to behave