Why MEN Feel INSECURE in Relationships

so we understand this concept that masculine and feminine in their spiritual archetypes are a provider and a recipient but not a recipient in the sense of she only gets what she gets and that's all she ever has a true recipient in the sense that she turns around and becomes a provider as well and actually ends up becoming a greater provider than him now can I share with you something are you okay with a moment of empathy toward men can we do that okay well okay you'll consider maybe so I want to just share with you one of the hardest things about being a man is you're already laughing you don't want to even be empathetic to it okay okay maybe I shouldn't maybe my vulnerability here is misplaced on the behalf of of men I'm going to put it out there because I think it'll create greater shom bias greater peace in your home if you'll understand this uh pain point that almost all men experience to some degree um it's just something to be aware of I told you before masculinity is about doing another way of saying that is providing you know being the initiator The Giver that's what masculinity is um but then I told you femininity is not a truly passive recipient she takes that turns around amplifies it infinitely upgrades it and gives it back so I'm I'm not asking you for for pity I just want you to consider this do you understand then how strange it is to be a man when intuitively you you're aware that your entire function is to be a provider to be a giver specifically a giver to your feminine counterpart which is your wife and that your whole identity is about being a giver and at the end of the whole process who's the bigger Giver she's a bigger giver than you and you all you'll never be the kind of Giver that she is so I don't know if you realize this but for men and very few men can articulate this but in my experience when have articulated this for men they're like yeah that's true she's always going to be the bigger Giver like I'm going to give you an example that the talud uses and if you are reductionist about it you might think it's mundane or trivial but if you understand it on a spiritual level I think it's profound the talmud says who's a bigger Giver of tedu of Charity the woman or the man and of course it's talking about traditional gender roles so but the point is the metaphor here it says that a papper comes to the door and he asks for something to eat the man went out and he worked to buy flour and he brought home the flour can the popper the beggar at the door eat flour no he eats the bread that the wife baked from the dough that she needed from the that the husband brought home now I understand don't get caught up in the particulars of this because it's a metaphor because I understand today women go out and they work and they buy the flower as well but we're what we're describing here is something existential about masculinity and femininity that there's something about masculinity he's the one who so to speak brings home the flower he brings home the raw materials the raw materials themselves are not useful raw materials are raw materials the woman is the one who takes raw materials and makes them useful she puts them into a form that actually benefits people like I was saying before she can't impregnate herself but in the end when once she's impregnated she's the one who delivers that baby which is an incomparable upgrade so she's always the one who ends up delivering no pun intended I guess with the birth metaphor but she's the one who ends up delivering that which is actually of value so he's the one he's just he's getting upstaged because whatever he provides her she takes it she upgrades it and gives it back to him in in in a in a far Superior fashion to how she received it so you understand again I'm not trying to get your pity but you understand why that might be a source of insecurity for men do you understand why it might be a source of insecurity for them okay can I can I just add i w to yes propa we um we were filming we uh record a podcast and we were just it's pette we were just doing one on marriage and masculine feminine and she gave a wonderful concept and I did it uh I just want to add to the insecurities or the their upset about you know how men feel I might not be doing it justice but she was describing Adam and Eve and how men come essentially from the ground from nothingness whereas women come from something they come from the side of Adam and it can sometimes be this like insecurity of being felt like you know they don't want that to be something that's shown or that's you know that's like something that they fear to feel whereas that kind of plays into it a little yes yes there's a certain essential insecurity in this in this particular instance what I want you to understand is that that which defines a man is actually something that women do better than men so I just want you to process that that which defines a man not something that's incidental to masculinity the very definition of masculinity is their ability to provide and to give women actually do that thing better than men do you think that every man defends himself by that hm do you think that every man defines himself by that role I think that men are defined by that role on an existential level and we are either in tune with it or less in tune with it but the truth is there whether or not we're aligned with it on a conscious level so you know in today's day and age were very much conditioned by certain messages about about everything really so we may be further away from these truths but that's why we have the teachings of the T come in here and sort of just say hey these are the truths and reality check sometimes it's helpful to get back to the things that are inescapable and and the reason why I I I talk about stuff like this really is because if we don't know what's inescapably true we end up having a lot of Heartache because when you're living in conflict with reality even if you don't know that's the reality it causes frustration okay so that's that's the reason why we're speaking about these ideas but do you understand now what I was saying before that there's a certain inherent insecurity that a man has that he's a provider and yet she's always going to be a greater provider because what she receives from him she upgrades it and gives it back to him okay you understand this okay so without going into great length about a male role um I'll just I'll just tell you one quick thing when I when I speak to men and I'm not going to tell you everything I speak to men because it's it's actually not so healthy for everybody to know everybody else's spiritual role because then we keep tabs on each other and it can become it can feel like we're being judged so I won't tell the men everything I told you and I'm not going to tell you everything that I tell men but one of the things that is very helpful to a man to understand is that yes it's true you men whatever you give your wife she's going to turn around upgrade it and give it back in infinitely upgraded fashion but what makes you indispensable I'm saying you men what makes men indispensable is that in a proper masculine feminine Paradigm the man is the one who gives first so I always tell men she's always going to upstage you if you're comparing who really giv more but where you shine men where men shine is in being the initiator and what do I mean by being the initiator the biggest tip that I give to husbands is when you walk through the door when you come home from work and even if she was also out at work doesn't matter these things are inescapable you walk through the door and you feel beaten down by life I'm speaking to men a man feels beaten down by life and he walks through the door and he attempts to take emotional comfort from his wife as much as she will try to provide it it will not work it will not work because that is not how masculine feminity interact I tell men if you want emotional currency to if you want to receive emotional energy from your wife the only way to properly get it and way that is respectful to both of your inherent roles is that you the male invest in her first and what that means very very simple terms I tell tell men even if you come home and you're beaten down by life walk over to her and make a deposit an emotional deposit and the beauty of it is she takes everything you put into her and she infinitely upgrades it so you don't have to give her a lot you can give her 30 seconds of sustained eye contact and gen interest where the phone is off and if you just give her that deposit you give her that emotional energy she gets filled up with that like she becomes pregnant with that and then she'll turn around she'll give birth to infinitely more emotional energy which will sustain the relationship and which will give you the man that emotional connection that you want but the mistake that a lot of men make is they approach their wives as takers ERS and then everybody's frustrated and disappointed and heartbroken but if a man can be the initiator which means you make the first emotional Overture and even if it's tiny it's okay she'll take it and upgrade it and then put it back into the relationship and then everyone will be happy and that's what works so and you're okay if I tell men that when they come home they should be the one to make the emotional deposit you're okay with me telling men that they shouldn't walk through the door yeah I get Applause have the minimum possible investment what the minimum possible invest I can leave out that part yeah yeah um but you know why I tell them that the minimum in all seriousness the reason why I tell them the minimum possible investment is because and again I'm not asking you for pity but men are so daunted they're so intimidated by the level what they perceive to be the level of emotional investment that's necessary in the relationship that they don't even try anymore and sometimes they just need to be told hey hey just walk through the door and walk to her first give her eye contact say hello and pay attention to her for one minute and you will you'll be amazed by what comes back to you as opposed to walk through the door and immediately turn her into your mother and become you this is the complaint that the women have oh he's just another one of the kids I have kids who cry and and they need me and now this this this big kid comes home he needs me and the reason that that's a complaint is because when in in a masculine feminine Paradigm when you have a a husband and a wife a husband can only receive from his wife what he's receiving back from her from the upgraded form of his initial investment hey this is shase tab you were just watching a clip from this class if you want to get the full context the full class that this clip that you just watched was from you watch right here click right here here