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Why you should worry when they say “I’m fine” #redflags #marriageadvice #relationships

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SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub avatar
SoulWords—Rabbi Shais Taub

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Why is I'm fine sometimes the biggest red flag in a relationship? So, I'm not talking about people who say, "I'm fine." in a passive-aggressive way where they're saying, "I'm fine." but they're begging you to figure out what's really wrong with them. That's called playing games. And in that case, it's not a red flag for the relationship. The whole relationship isn't even really a relationship. It's beyond red flags at that point. That's silly, immature game playing. But I'm talking about when someone says "I'm fine." and they know that that ends the conversation. And the reason they say "I'm fine." in order to end the conversation is because experience has taught them that there's absolutely no purpose in trying to have any type of communication on the subject at hand. So, "I'm fine." actually means, "I may as well say I'm fine because you will not hear my voice and I can't endure the humiliation and the disappoint- -ment of going through the motions pretending like you may hear me this time. And when either partner has reached that point, that is an alarm and it must be looked into very seriously because once it becomes easier to just remain silent than to express yourself, from there everything else falls apart.