The Little Choice That Is Destroying You

Alpha usually has like a you know, connotation of a gym bro who's just a meathead and he's 35 stiff full of steroids and it doesn't do anything except take care of himself. But dad is the opposite of that. Dad is like there's no me, it's I'm a dad. Like everything is my kids. Dad bod, exactly. I'm a dad bod. Just got to be in tune with yourself, you know, like [music] listen to the whispers that you have and then you roar. Like Tony Robbins makes his people scream the top of their lungs. These little guys come in like a little wispy ant and they can't even stand still. Their wife has no respect for them because he has no respect for himself and then he makes him roar. And then all of a sudden the guy comes to life, you know, his blood starts pumping, his veins start popping, the guy's alive. What happened? He's a He's a lion. Everybody's a lion. Everyone's an alpha. Every single human being has a lion inside them, a lioness. You just have to tap in, roar and stop being a little, you know, like wake up. I would like to welcome to the Middle Class Podcast John Schedrick, my personal trainer. That's John Schedrick. The owner of the Alpha Dad company. I've known John over I don't know, 10 11 years at this point. Um we spend once a week of quality time together. And At least once a week. At least once a week. We used to be twice a week and then once a week. We've had our ups and downs. Still manage to see your face more than once a week somehow. >> [laughter] >> I'm unavoidable. So, the topic of today's podcast is something very important to me and very personal and I think an important message to all of our listeners and it is a money podcast, but health has a lot to do with money. And when we're talking about physical health, we're talking about mind health, mental health, and a lot of the middle class people are very, very stuck um in the middle class, and their productivity is not as good as it can or should be, and the state of health of the middle class is also, believe in my personal opinion, I hope this doesn't disturb anyone, is that there is a health crisis right now in the middle class. So, um John's going to do some talking. Um first of all, John, why don't you introduce yourself, give us a little background, so people know who you are. I'm John. The company is Alpha Dad, because obviously I'm an Alpha Dad, and I make other people Alpha Dads. And yeah, the middle class is suffering. I think everybody is suffering. Unfortunately, America, the land of the abundant, is filled with people suffering. It's crazy. We have more than ever, and everyone's miserable. Everyone. It doesn't I mean, everyone I talk to, one way or another, is suffering, struggling. I mean, I have people that I think have everything. They're killing it in every way possible, and yet, when I talk to them, it's it's as if they're going through the hardest thing in the world, and they are. It's a crazy world that we live in. Yeah, money is just where we feel it on the outside, but it runs very deep. It runs very deep, and that's what I I try to dedicate my life to me finding my own happiness. I actually recently, I think this year, I turned 40 this year, Oh, wow. even though I probably look so much younger than that with this gray beard, but I uh I noticed in a lot of my pictures I keep a very serious face, like a her, you know, very tough demeanor, and it just I took on this year to try to at least portray happiness. And we have a lot to be happy about. So, like if I feel why not be happy, you know? And the more you be happy, the happier you are. So, that's a big deal. I think that's something that >> [sighs] >> it's crazy. We have a lot to be happy about. We all have a lot to be happy about. >> I want to cut you right off, John, because he's there's so many things you just said. I know you work out with or train a lot of CEOs and executives. Like you said, people that have made it. And yet you're saying that a lot of those people aren't happy. So, can you explain what what is the lack of happiness because what's the cause of it and what's missing? Yeah. Well, what is it? Just last week we saw one of the craziest tweets go out. What do you call it? A tweet now? Is it called you an X? How do you refer to it? Tweet on X. >> An X went out. A tweet went out on X >> [laughter] >> from the great Elon Musk stating that whoever said money can't buy happiness really knew what they were talking about. >> [clears throat] >> Which is anyone that I read that to or showed it to, they they all said the same thing. They just went oh. Oh, man. It hit it hit everybody very hard. Why? Like for me, it hit me hard. First of all, I look up to Elon Musk like everybody else in this world should. We're talking about a man who not only does he have infinite money, okay? That's one thing. Infinite money. They have a website called spend Elon Musk's money. And you get to buy everything you can that you get to see the numbers go down. It's a lot of fun. Infinite money. But aside from that, we're talking about someone who revolutionizes mankind. We're talking about someone who has execution on all his visions. Guy has dreams, visions, he executes on all of them. He changes mankind. He buys Twitter just for the service of civilization as he says. Okay, forget about any conspiracy theories. Just on a simple level, the man bought it because he saw civilization is going downhill. So, he does amazing things for humankind. He helps the masses. He gives to the masses. He gives of his time. He's seeing his accomplishments come to fruition. He has great relationships. He's down-to-earth. He has everything. He's got kids everywhere, right? He has everything. And yet, somehow, he's not able to buy the happiness with his money. To the point where he sends it out to the whole world. That hits me because I'm trying to do everything that this man already did. I'm trying to make tons of money. I'm trying to live a very meaningful life. I'm trying to have an effect on the world. I'm trying to accomplish. I'm trying to chase my dreams. I'm trying to be something and be somebody and try to do good for others. And that guy already did it, and he's suffering. So, when I experience that with people that are already crushing life, it makes me think, "Oh, wow, okay. I really have to realize this. It's definitely not the house. It's not the Ferrari. I know lots of guys with all that. It's not the beautiful wife. It's not the beautiful kids. It's not the unbelievable bank accounts. It's not the helicoptering around the world. Private jets. It's not that, cuz I know all those guys. I work with them. It's not the fancy clothing. Going out to eat in the crazy steak houses, spending $2,000 for lunch every day. That's not that, either. Traveling around the world. It's not that. So, what is it? What is it? I'm trying to figure that out. So, I'm I'm trying to put my time into that. It's definitely not physical. Mhm. Like, if I was sitting across from Elon Musk right now, I would tell you, "Listen, buddy. You will not find happiness in anything physical. And you will not find happiness in any other person. It's not where it is. It's not It's not where it is. So, yeah, my CEOs, do they feel like they're Do they walk around feeling confident sometimes? Yeah. Do they get to a lot of fun things? Right? Like some comedian said, "You never seen somebody frown on a jet ski, right? Money definitely does something. I've never seen homeless people skipping." So, it definitely helps, but happiness? No way. Happiness is not tied up into any money or into any job description. Wow. So, are there any specific things? Let's say you have Mr. CEO who's a successful um and you're training with them and you're talking to them um getting very personal. What Is Is there anything specific that stresses stresses them out and maybe would carry over to the middle class also? Like what does stress people out if they have everything? Yeah. Well, I I think of a funny thing. I I came up with a scenario once where just imagine a guy, he's sitting on his yacht. He's got a $50 million yacht. And he's going around the Cayman Islands. He's got 100 people on staff on the boat. I don't know if you could call it a boat. It's a yacht. Yacht, yeah. And he's got a private chef and this guy, he has, you know, everything. You think this guy is living it. But I imagine that he likes his meat medium rare and the the waitress keeps making a mistake and giving it to him and tells the chef he wants it well done and he keeps screwing that up every time. And I just I laughed at the idea that this guy is probably so angry. He's on the yacht and he's so frustrated that this stupid waitress can't get the order right one time. Like, "How many times do I tell you I like it medium rare, right?" The guy is human. He's a human. You could be in the most amazing yacht and you're going to be so upset because the person next to you just doesn't get it. They're not listening, right? You're not listening to me when I talk to you. I'm I'm an an order. That The reason why have this scenario in my head cuz it it just it makes me laugh, you know? You think that somebody who has what you want doesn't have that they don't bleed like you bleed. They don't have red blood like you. They don't go to the bathroom like you. They're They're human. We're all human. Everybody's human. Everybody has stress. You could have everything, but if you're trying to get along with your wife, I've seen it with my eyes. If you're talking your wife's not looking at you, you could be the richest man in the world. You don't like it. Mhm. If she's not giving you attention, you don't like it. So, the thought that you think some CEO doesn't have stress or has less stress is a lie. It just comes with something else. I might stress over this bill. He's not stressing over that bill. He's stressing over his company or he's stressing over his staff or his partner. In fact, sometimes the more businesses you have, the more miserable. Why? You have a lot more people to be worried about. You have a lot more companies to stress over. You think that this guy might be not giving you the right numbers and this guy's not doing the right job and that guy that you just hired might be getting you out. I might be getting fired from the company I created. There's a lot of stress there. Mhm. A lot [clears throat] of stress there. I think that the worst the worst thing in our lives today, if I have to say the one of the worst things is that we are just too distracted. We don't know like we are we don't know what I want I don't I have no idea Mhm. >> who I am, where I am, what I want, and that's why I'm just either distracting myself or obsessing over you. Just You must have it. So, let me just try to get you to think that I'm doing what you're doing. Mhm. That I think the biggest stress is the more successful you are, the more reasons you are to be distracted from yourself, and the more you could pretend that you're doing well. So, you could ignore the things that are bleeding inside. And when you ignore the things that's bleeding inside, it's just a matter of time till it starts to rot at the edges. Wow. So, let's continue in that those types of people. How do you help them? So, you're training them. What do you do to help people? And I think it's also with the middle class again, same concept, a lot of people are stuck and they have the distractions, the stresses, and things like that. As a trainer, what do you do? And what would you tell people that don't have a trainer or stuck? What are steps that can be taken to move forward? And how would you phrase them? Well, I First of all, I don't call myself a trainer because I think that exercise is the least of what I do with people. Anybody can exercise. You can go to the gym, you can watch a YouTube video. You can learn how to do anything. For me, it's it's I go right into the soul. I don't really care. Like one of the reasons why people like me is probably my what's one of my disadvantages is I have major authority problems. I always did. I don't care who somebody was. >> [laughter] >> You're laughing cuz you know it. Since I'm a kid, I just cannot I don't give automatic respect to people. It doesn't matter if they're a rabbi or a rich guy or a company owner or the principal. I got kicked out of class all the time and sent to the principal and then kicked out of the principal's office cuz I I just I just can't give that automatic respect. So, it helps me in my business cuz I don't really care at all about your title. I never did. I don't care how much money you have. I see that you you can't even walk normally. You know what I mean? Like you're you're rich, [laughter] but you can't you can't even walk. You don't know how to button your own shirt. You know what I mean? Like you need your cleaning lady to button your shirt. I don't care that you're rich. So, I don't I don't see that. So, as soon as they come in front of me, I just see them as a regular cuz they are. They're just regular. Mhm. Right. And then once you see somebody as a regular and they can feel they actually feel the most comfortable when you see them as a regular. They don't have to put on the show anymore. They get to hang up their their fancy coat and they could just be a human being. And then [snorts] they find somebody who could actually talk to them for real and they feel safe. So, when they feel safe, they just the real human comes out. And their vulnerabilities come out. And then even when they're vulnerable, they're still respected. Wow. See, that's a rare thing for people, especially when you're successful. You're respected because of your money, like a lot of us in this neighborhood or a lot of people in this American society culture today that chase the brands and chase the external appearance that we're doing well. So, we're we we're treated well just because of the outside. I'm afraid God forbid they might see me with my hair down for 1 second. They might see me without makeup. Oh my god, God forbid. They'll catch me through the window. I'm going to just explode on the spot. But, it's not true cuz there are people out there that actually don't care. They'll they'll appreciate you for who you are. So, when somebody sees that they're accepted by me or by anybody for who they are without all the fancy flare, they they start to feel a sense of value [snorts] without depending on other things. Externals. And when they start building that value, they start feeling something different. They start feeling like, wait a second, there's a whole world inside me that I don't I don't even think about. My strength, my body, my emotional state, my hobbies, my relationships. There's so many relationships that are shh beyond fake, worthless. I call them complete worthless. They're just trash. And yet, we invest a lot of energy into those guys, into these people just pretending you can't It's exhausting. You can't keep it up. In the meantime, we're losing out on the people we have now. I just heard right now that's in in some cultures there's these apps where people take care of kids like in the app. It's like a game. And some lady her actual kid died because she was busy taking care of the kid in the app that she neglected her kid at home. And you hear that and you're like, "That's crazy. That person's crazy, right?" No. We're all that person right now. We're very busy keeping other people alive and keeping up all this energy on the outside that the people closest to us are suffering. And we're suffering the most. We're neglecting 100% neglecting ourselves. So, I just uh to the listeners say that John works out with um some big rabbis and rabbonim and rovs. Can't name them obviously for confidentiality. But uh I've also seen this with my own eyes how you can have a real hashava uh rabbi or rov and when you walk into John's not training room, we're not going to use the word trainer or anything. >> lair His lair, his lion's den. Uh because the uproar, by the way, uproar is John's brand. alphadadtransformation.com with the lion, you see the lion. You go into the lion's den and everything like you said falls away. Um and you can be a rabbi, you can be a CEO, it doesn't matter. So, that's a very, very key point. Vulnerability and it could be that people like you're saying are so distracted that they don't know where they are in life. So, you know, let's be very uh raw and honest and where I'll tell you the state of people. So, I do life insurance, very specific product, and in order for that to be approved someone has to take a health exam. And that means some blood, they take some blood, urine, questions, you know, standard. And [snorts] I've seen people that are even in their late 20s that have diabetes. Late 20s? Late 20s. And conditions that I can't even describe cuz I can't pronounce them. I don't know some weird uh fatty liver enzymes and you probably know more about this than I do. Um fatty liver enzyme and oh and the obesity and the overweight and the BMI body mass index issues are we're talking about young people and then you have the Olympic and the Wagovi and all So tell me what can you tell these people? And I'm sorry to say it if it insults anyone, but this is to help. I'm here to help. We're here to help people get out of that. To me it really bothers me cuz I care a lot about my health. And it really bothers me when you know, it's people don't. Cuz I care about them. So what could those people what should they do? That was a long question. Sorry. >> Yeah. I have a friend of mine who told me recently he found himself sitting at home by himself. He woke up early. And usually like a lot of people do, they just run to the phone. And instead of waking up fresh and being creative, they just drown out their brain with consuming trash, garbage right off the bat. This guy, he told me for some reason he just instead of grabbing his phone, he grabbed a notebook. And he didn't grab chat GPT either, you know. Now the only way you could talk up to yourself is through AI. You can't even have a conversation with yourself without asking something about you, you know? So my friend, he took a journal. He took a piece of a notebook and a pen and he said he did something crazy that he's never done before. He started talking to himself with a pen and paper. And he's like, "Hey, how's is going? What's up?" Let's call him Alex. What's up, Alex? How you doing right now? And he's like, I'm doing okay. I've been better. He started writing. He said his hand was just going by himself. And he's like, what are you struggling What are you struggling with the most? What's What's What are you distracted by the most? And he started writing just the most important things to him. And he didn't realize he's like he's reading it. He's like, I didn't realize how much this is important to me. Wow. And what what So what what happened here? All he did was just tap into himself. That's it. Just Just give yourself a minute. Mhm. There's no reason for you to be 20 and obese. All right? I hear people taking pills at the age of 21 that only 65-year-old people were taking. Right. All right? They [snorts] are not able to function as a regular human being today. And it's not a physiological It's not the times. It's not global warming. Mhm. You got to check in with yourself. You got to put the phone away, put the family away, put the business away, go for a walk around the lake. If you don't have a lake, find the block and walk. No headphones. Just put your jacket on, put your hands in your pocket, and just go. Mhm. And you know what starts happening? After about 5 10 minutes, you start hearing things, voices. You know, first your head's spinning, and then your mind starts going to things that are bothering you, things that you're excited about, things that you're thinking about. And you start feeling like, you know, I don't I can't even breathe. You know, one time I had to go on a I have a I was living in apartment that was I don't know four blocks away from a train. I was in my mid-20s. It's mid-20s. And I was 2 minutes from the train. I ran for my life, completely out of shape. I ran. It was 2 minutes. 2 minutes, just a few blocks. I ran to the train, and I was so sick for 45 minutes. I was literally coughing up almost blood. Coughing up in front of I'm like for 45 minutes. Back then I didn't have any any social media to distract me. 45 minutes I'm coughing like a pig. I'm four I'm 25. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Now, a lot of us have that voice, but we don't have we can't hear it because we're just too busy stuffing our face with more burgers, right? Or we're on we're on TV or we're watching Instagram and we're just there's I can't hear anything. I can't hear my voice. And if I hear [clears throat] it I right away stuff it down. Another Let's Let's watch another movie. More Netflix. Netflix this show, that show. Scroll the doom scroll. You ever watch somebody scrolling? It looks terrible. It's horrible. They just looking down at their phone and they're just like It's It's actually terrible and I know that's what I look like, but when I see it on somebody else I can feel it. That voice is telling you what you need. It's telling dude, you're you're fat. Yeah. Yeah, it's a terrible word the the F word. You're fat and you know it. You can't breathe. You don't look good. You look like hell actually. Yeah. You no matter how many shots you take it's not working. It's not working. Dude, you smell. You're not clean. You don't get a haircut. You don't look fresh. You're not making it right now. No matter what they think you know it, but you you can't hear it because you're drowning it out with more distraction and more distraction. Why are people telling you at 20 years old they're obese and they got diabetes? They're They're completely neglecting themselves. They're neglecting yourself. And if you don't take if you don't feel good about yourself, all your habits are going to be bad. You start drinking. You start smoking. All of a sudden there's like little greens coming into your into your bag in the morning. Why? Distraction. Cuz you hate that feeling. You hate feeling sick. You hate feeling bad about yourself. So you just drown it out as much as you can. So you drink and you smoke and you eat and then you scroll and then you just go and then you go out for for some holiday vacation, you spend $40,000 that you don't have so that you can feel good about yourself cuz you feel like trash inside. You feel like garbage. So, hopefully if I keep this up, this charade up, maybe I'll feel good about myself. No. You're going to end up in Mosha Alpert's office getting a life insurance policy and your policy is really low cuz they think you're going to die very soon. And you're shocked. Like, "What do you mean? My policy should be I'm You know where I went? I was just in I don't know. I went to Dubai for Passover. My number should be so high." We don't care about your Dubai trip, buddy. Your heart looks like it's going to stop beating soon. This all happens from neglect. You don't take You don't take time for yourself. You don't listen to your voices. You don't listen to that voice that, "You know, I could be better. I know I could do better. I got to stop eating myself sick at night and waking up in the middle of the night with acid reflux, throwing up, and waking up in the morning hungover from fatness, and then going to work and just ordering all this It's Come on. It's a terrible cycle and you're way too young for this. What I'm hearing is cuz that that was Oh, a lot. Um what I'm hearing is there there are two worlds. Um you have, you know, looking out the window on Central Avenue, people in their cars, shopping, buying food, buying clothes. But then there's like a whole world that's under it, right? People's relationships, people's problems, people's health problems. The [snorts] purpose of this episode is to go into that world that we don't see and to deal with it. Like, face it. And that's why I felt it was very important to do this. I'm just reiterating this because I want people to fix the problems that underlie the lack of productivity, people being stuck. I've said before that sometimes you have people that are in a lot of credit card debt only because and again, I'm not saying people don't work hard, but if they'd work a little harder, they'd focus more on themselves, they'd have more productivity to get them, you know, financial stability. That's what I'm, you know, I'm referring to. But [snorts] let's say you have that person, John, who's, you know, got all the health problems, obesity, diabetic at 28. We know that they can start and you I know you feel say a little bit about this, but we know that that person can't start going on a Peloton and looking like the Peloton guy. That's not the right approach. What is So, we have that person who you know, they're hearing this and they say, "You know what? I want to change." How do you change? Yeah, first of all, good for you for wanting to change. Like that right there, that's when I tell them you're a winner right now. Because you want to change and then you tell somebody, "I want to change." Honestly, that is the hardest part. Everything else is easy. You just say I want I'm I've had enough. I got my breaking point. That's it. I want to change. Your whole life just changed at that moment right there. Wow. If you say it out loud, you tell it to somebody, you you just change your life forever. That's it. The rest is easy. Wow. What What happens when you get to the staircase, right? You got a staircase and you got the elevator. You got to go up one flight. >> [snorts] >> This is this the way you answer this determines the type of life you live. Wow. Okay, you have an elevator, you're going one flight up. Now, you don't even think about it. I watch people do it all the time. In my business, in my office, there's an elevator right by the front door and it's most people are one flight up. And this happens all the time. I come in sometimes the same time as other people and I I feel their fear. I could feel it. I can feel their stress. I'm not pushing it on them. I just just to make it clear. I do not pressure anybody. I only help people that ask for help. But I know that they start feeling it. They're trying to slow down. They don't want to come in the same time as me because I run up the stairs and they go to the elevator. Mhm. I [clears throat] go up the stairs. We'll talk about why I go up the stairs. And this happens often where they start giving excuses to me. Some people that I've never even spoken to in my life they start saying things like, "Oh, my back is killing me." or and I silently cry. You know, I laugh and I cry. I'm like, I feel bad for them not because they're taking the elevator because they're just lying. They're just a life of lying to themself. They're just in such denial. They're giving me this bogus like I care. It's not for me, man. You're going up the elevator one flight. That's for you. You don't have to give me excuses why you're going up the flight. And it happens all the time. When you stand in front of that elevator and let this sink into your brains. Whoever's listening right now, let this sink in deep. Every time you go up to a you're faced with an elevator. Not talking about the 57th floor in the city. No. You're going up one or two flights. The way you decide this determines the type of life you live. If you go in and you take that elevator, you are a lazy lazy person. I don't care what you say. Unless you don't tell me you have one leg cuz people hop. All right? You are lazy. And you are choosing the lazy route every time. And if you do that and you train your brain to always go the weak way, you're going to live a weak life. Very painful. And it's going to suck. I guarantee it because life's not supposed to be lazy. All the beauties of life are always hiding behind the heart. I like pistachios with shells cuz I like to hunt. I want a break. I want to go hunt for it. I want to work for it cuz the shell when you hunt for it, it tastes so much better and you know it. So, when you go up that elevator, you're selling yourself short forever. That guy who now decided, you know what, I want to make a difference, all you need to do is you just need to take the stairs once. That's it, just one time. You're just doing a tiny little change in your life. You're saying, "I'm going from always choosing the lazy way, always the easy route, to I'm actually going to start going a little bit harder. Let me just see what else is out there. Let me explore a little bit. Let's wake this thing up. Let's see what this thing could do. You have a Ferrari in your garage and you use it as a table. You understand? It's not a table. That thing's a Ferrari. You don't go and you rev the engine up to 112, but that thing is alive. So, first take the table cloth off, take all take the vase off, clean the grease from last night's burger juice, and look at it. Dust it off. Look at it. That thing's beautiful. That's a Ferrari. Dude, you are a Ferrari. You understand? I don't care that you have diabetes. You are a Ferrari. You're beautiful. You're powerful. You're You're a majestic being. And when I talk to you, I see that. I see that being. I don't see the lazy bum that's in front of me. Cuz when you say to me, "I want to make a change your life." You are alive. Ah, see, I can feel I can feel the rumble. I can feel [snorts] the roar. You're alive now. You know that You know what life is waiting for you? Do you know the jungles and the hikes and the mountains and the unbelievable experiences and the stairs and the people and the There's There's a world waiting for you to conquer. Jumping and climbing and running and chasing your kids and chasing your grandkids. Do you know what feels better? There's nothing worse than leaning over to poke your kid in the cheek and then you you have a cramp cuz you just leaned. You want to run with that kid. You want to be alive. All you have to do is take the stairs once. And you break that wall. Oh, [sighs and gasps] so >> [clears throat] >> what do you think? Why do so many people fail or can't can't make these changes cuz they sound like small changes. What is the preventative? We're obsessed. Obsessed with other people. Obsessed with what other people think. Mhm. [clears throat] Very simple. That's all all day consumed with how other people are going to view me, what they think of me, what are they going to say Mhm. >> [clears throat] >> when I fail? They're going to laugh at me. Even though it's a lie because they couldn't care less about you, they just think about themself. And they're worried what you're going to think of them, but we still have to loot ourselves into thinking that it's I can't I'm going to I'm going to start making a change. Everyone's going to eat me alive. Oh, Mr. Diet Man. Hey, fatty's going to salad. You want a salad? Hey guys, no pizza for him. He's on a diet now. It's very hard to handle all that. It's very hard to handle that. It's the worst. Your family's going to make fun of you. Oh, let me guess, another one of your stupid diets? Dude, give it up. It's not going to work. And they're right. It's not going to work because I value their opinion way too much. Mhm. >> If you do it for them, it's never going to work. Mhm. >> [clears throat] >> You got to you got to let go of other people. It's your life. Mhm. Just forget about them. Your life is terrible. Mhm. [clears throat] And you know it. So, you're doing this for you. Mhm. And you will fail and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with that. You're failing and they're not doing anything. So, fail over and over and over and over and then you get better. You fail, you fail, you fail and that's fine. Mhm. And you you no one's going to congratulate you. Nobody cares about you and no one's coming to save you. Nobody. And if you wait for it, you'll you'll end up alone. No one's [snorts] coming to save you. Either you save yourself or it's over. So, would you say in our from Jewish society that this is more of a challenge what people think about other people and you know, I'm people see me like this, people see me like that. Like in our communities, you see this as as a bigger challenge about how people What do you think about that? >> Listen, our culture is filled with community communities and we spend a lot of time together every weekend we see each other and we see how we dress, we keep up with each other. Some people in other communities and cultures, they don't see each other often. But in our lifestyle, every Shabbos, we go to shul, we go to simchas, we go to weddings and parties and we're surrounded by people all the time and it seems like everyone's doing well, right? Cuz people push themselves and it's harder to hide. Everybody knows what's going on. When you live in a close community, everybody knows what's going on, you know? Everyone's in keeping tabs on you. Everyone knows what's going on with your with your life, so instead of me having my own fail If I just fail myself or if I if I make a fool out of myself in front of my wife and kids, okay, that hurts, you know, 10 points, but if I make a fool out of myself in front of my whole community, that's too much. It's too much to handle. It's actually not a natural thing to be so involved in other people's lives, but that's our life. That's our lifestyle. So, we have to So, this thing where which we're saying really is that much harder really to do to do to do and be I mean, I'll tell you personally, it's also been a challenge for me. You know, I'm coming from a few different worlds. I was you know, went to to Lakewood BMG, I went to the Mir, Brisk, Kyle. Wow. >> you know, very in the black hat world and now I'm in corporate America and you feel like you're in 15 different directions. Where do I am? What do I am? What do I do? How do I do it? But I can say, you know, through our work, you know, myself with John and and, you know, uh which I'll say in a second, you always need a support system, I think. I think that's important. Um but that piece has really given me happiness knowing that I'm able to find my own approach um in my [snorts] life and having people stick to who they are uh is where you find happiness, right? That's what That's what you're saying, right? >> All right, let's take a positive spin for a second. The It might be harder to be in a big community because other other people see you, but I would say a very important thing to do is to really identify good connections in your life. There might be a lot less than you think. All right, a lot of our relationships are not real. That's, you know, but if you can sift through the people in your life and actually identify someone that you think is just real. Or they Or they get you Or they Or they get it. You respect them deeply. You see that they're doing something that you want. I don't mean financially. You see them as a person. They grow. And they go after their things that they want to do and they do it. And without any support. And you You try to identify some people in your life that you can talk to. You got to talk to people. You got to share with somebody. Someone that you think will give you a pat and say, "You know what? You could do this, man. You could. You want to make a change? Listen, I did it. He did it. Let me know if I can help you to give you advice." If you identify core connections, healthy connections, and you're willing to Even if other people look down at that person, even if it's not cool to be friends with that person, who cares about that? You find someone [clears throat] that you think is a good fan to have. And you connect to them. You're vulnerable to them. You tell them honestly what you're struggling with, and you'll be surprised. There's a whole underbelly. There's a whole underground world of people that are real and sincere and genuine and they connect and they talk and they share their feelings and they give they even share with tears even guys sharing with tears love and emotion and affection and all of a sudden you're not doing this alone you got wind underneath your wings from other people you find those people you'll be more successful than you think so very key to have a support system uh so that you create that you you create >> no one's going to give it to you you have to go create it support right support system with real people real people oh wow that's a that's a bombshell right there you know >> it's a bombshell because how many things do we do just because other people do them and they fit into our oh don't get me started it's it's it's so tough um but it's I can't tie up our covered machine and it's all them in her all them right if someone is jealous or they look for honor or they go after desires they you know they leave this world that's how I relate to it machine is all that they take you out of you they they take you away from you >> in her all them right they take you out I have a rule in my house with my kids that if they ever mention the reason why they want something is because someone else has it oh forget about it if I'm like why do you want this everybody the word everybody is a bad word in my house you lost it buddy I don't want to hear anything about anybody I don't care what anyone else has or does if that's the reason why you want you're never going to get it never I want you to tell me why you want it why you think it's good for you and why you're going to enjoy it I'm all ears let's do let's do it but for everybody else forget it I try I train them young not to think about other people not to do what they're doing you got to live your life live your life man >> [clears throat] >> live your life you have to live your life otherwise you won't be happy live your life and yeah I mean it's that feeling where you're on your own path, doing your thing, which is what leads to happiness. So, Yeah. What do we tell the middle class? So, we tell them, you know, make small changes. And those small decisions. But first first thing I'm hearing is that someone has to be mindful of what goes through their minds. Only mindful. What did you say before? You said credit card debt? You know what credit card debt is? Credit card debt is I don't want to have this thing now and I'll worry about the pain later. That is the opposite recipe for success. I want you to do the work now and get the reward later. Get used to working now and getting reward later. Not getting reward now and working later. That's a lifestyle. Credit card debt is a lifestyle. >> [clears throat] >> Get on it now. Stop swiping. Don't don't swipe that card. For Jackie, cuz Jackie has a cool coat and you need that coat and it's just as warm as the one in Burlington. >> [laughter] >> That's stupid, man. You could buy 50 coats. >> Burlington still around? You could buy 50 coats with that. Um >> [snorts] >> So, there's another thing I heard and that is the word now. So, I'll tell you my example. When I work with people on their finances, I can tell you that anyone who's walked into my office um came out with a different approach when it comes to their money for the better. And all it took I'm not trying to brag. It was just a meeting. All they had to do was take that first step and forget about me. Meet with anyone. I don't know, another financial planner. >> No, God forbid. >> [laughter] >> See, that makes it a better ad when I make it sound like I don't care about myself. Um right? But they come in and they're changed people when it comes to their money and all it took was that first step to come and walk into the office and to discuss and become vulnerable and do all that stuff. And the word is now. So, after this podcast, or right now even, stop listening and take a step forward. >> Yeah, take a step forward. >> would you say about that attitude? First of all, it's being in touch with yourself. Being in tune with yourself. And listening to yourself. That's number one. And then doing something about it now. Even the smallest thing in the world, make it tiny. There's no such thing as too small. You already did the biggest thing. Do something about it. Talk to somebody about it. Then you start connecting to people that can help support you or guide you. And then the next one, this is a big one. This is a big one. Listen closely. You have to start cleansing out the people you surround yourself by. You have to filter. You got to go through all the people in your life throughout the next 4 weeks and ask yourself which of these people are toxic, detrimental, and destroying you. Your psyche, your spiritual self, your physical self, who is ruining your life? If you don't need them in your life, you cut them now. Cut them. Gone. Delete. If you need them in your life and it's not so easy to cut like a family member or something, you minimize interaction. You limit and exposure. You limit right now, just for now. You have to work on you. You got to detox from the negative people and I mean that. We hear this all the time, but you don't do it. You hear it and you share it and you send it to people, but you don't do it. Go through, audit your lifestyle, audit the people that you have in your life, and there are people that are just bad. They're bad. They bully you. They put you down. They don't take you seriously. They always have to share why they're doing better than you and it hurts you. That's fair. You're allowed to feel hurt. Delete. Gone. You don't have to block. That's extreme. Just get rid of them. If you're in a If you're in a group chat that's negative and people are posting all the things they're doing and you're not and you're reminded all day how much your life is terrible, delete. Out. Get out of there. Right now, so what what do you think is going to happen if you start listening to yourself and you start going on some walks and you start taking little micro baby steps and you start finding support systems and you start talking to people that are that are doing the things that you really really want to do and you start limiting your exposure to the dark dark blackness that's around you. Do you think you're not going to start doing better? I would tell Mosha Alpert, give me 30 days to do my bloods again and just change your mindset and you're going to have completely different results. Don't worry about those diabetes. It's gone. Just that mindset. That mindset of changing and let's repeat that. You'll have good relationships. You're headed in the right direction. Your health improves. Your relationships again also improve. This is all based on just changing one little piece of your trajectory. So tell us a little bit about I guess that's where the name Alpha Dad came from. Right? >> Yeah. Alpha Dad Um Alpha usually has like a you know connotation of a gym bro who's just a meathead and he's 35 full of steroids and it doesn't do anything except take care of himself. But Dad is the opposite of that. Dad is like there's no me. It's I'm a dad. Like everything is my kids. Dad bod. Exactly. I'm a dad bod. So I put them together and it makes it clear like this yes, you need to be your prime optimal self, apex predator, but you also have to be soft and full of love and selfless for others. So Alpha Dad it's like either you're a dad or you identify with being a dad, want to be a dad, or you like helping others or affecting others positively and you have to be an Alpha and you have to be a dad. You have to be the best of you. Real prime. Prime of you. And then that's that's going to make you a much better dad. Much better dad. Just kind of be in tune with yourself, you know, like listen to the whispers that you have and then you roar. Like Tony Robbins makes his people scream the top of their lungs. These little guys come in like a little wispy ant and they can't even stand still and their wife has no respect for them because he has no respect for himself. And then he makes them roar. And then all of a sudden the guy comes to life, you know, his blood starts pumping, his veins start popping, the guy's alive. What happened? He's a He's a lion. Everybody's a lion. Everyone's an alpha. Every single human being has a lion inside them. A lioness. You just have [clears throat] to tap in. Roar. And stop being a little, you know, like wake up. I think the fact that people focus on the alpha takes away from them cuz if they feel like they have to be the pet alpha then they never do anything cuz who could be an alpha? But you're saying Well, you're already alpha. You're an alpha loser. >> [laughter] >> So, become an alpha dad. Yeah, right. So, in other words, don't go with outside yourself. Don't become someone else. Become the best you. So, it's a very healthy balanced approach to to becoming better. Is be the best and I'm making it sound so factual, but it's such a positive healthy feeling. Like so so much force when you feel like feel good about yourself, you know? You get like you got a new lease on life. You get excited like you got a project. Like if you find out your your woman's pregnant, you get like there's this new thing happening. It's like alive in you. When you start taking something on and you feel like you're getting a little better, you become it's like life is different. It tastes different. You start looking in the mirror, you feel like I'm actually doing something. Today is a little better than yesterday. You want to go shopping, you start putting clothing on, you're like, "Ah, nice. I feel like You feel good. You feel a lot Forget about looks. Looks is great, but you feel different. You feel energy, good about yourself, confident, and you start thinking, "What else could I do?" I always wanted to play guitar, right? How many guitars do you have in this room, Mosha? You I I always wanted to play guitar. Well, if I could get myself in shape, if I could get rid of diabetes, and I could stop having heart attacks, and I could not not have cholesterol through the roof, then I could play guitar, and I could also look my wife in the eyes when I talk to her, and I could be nice to her, and I could actually come home and spend some time with my kids, and I could maybe work a little harder, and maybe get get going on that project I always wanted, that little side hustle. I'm complaining about my job for 39 years, but I haven't moved. I haven't done anything. Well, if I could get myself in shape, I could sure as hell get myself another business going on the side, and maybe I could write a book, right? Like another thing you've done, Mosha. Maybe I could write a book. What is everyone going to say? They're going to make fun Who that Who am I to write a book? They're going to say that. Doesn't matter. They didn't write a book. So, who are you to talk to me? Don't talk to me. I wrote a book. You didn't. And my book's better than yours. So, go away. Right. >> And like all of a sudden, life is you're alive. So, instead of you heading towards death at 43 years old, you're you don't even feel like you started. You feel like a newborn baby at 47, at 70. I have a guy I work with. He's in his 80s. Guy's alive. Every time he looks in the mirror, he's shocked. He's like, "Oh, yeah, I forgot I'm old." He guys running up and down the stairs. He's alive. The man's alive. What do you want? I think I know who that is, and I should tell everyone I'm not going to say who it is. >> No, leave it. >> No, no, I'm not saying who it is, but I know that that same person actually works out cuz they have a schedule. They work out on fast days, and they're in their 80s, right? That's what they do. Yeah, no excuses. There no babies here. What the cares if it's a fast day? What difference does it make? Stop crying. Who cares, man? Do something. >> [gasps] >> So, what do you What do you think when people say this is not in my control? Cuz I have a lot of people that are working hard to make a living. But, they're in debt and they're not putting away money. They're not being proactive about their finances. Is there such a thing as saying that it's not in my control? Is there such such a thing or Yeah, like when I ask my kids, I ask my kids, "Hey, do me a favor. Could you take the garbage out?" I don't ask them that often, but suppose I did. And they say, "I can't. I don't have shoes." And then I'm like, >> [snorts] [sighs] >> I have to take a nice deep breath. 5 minutes later, "Hey, there's [clears throat] a $20 bill outside. Go get it." They go running. Mhm. I tell my kid, "Listen, you say to me, Abba, I am lazy now. I don't want to do anything. I want to sit on my butt and do nothing. You know what? I respect that. I love that. That's the only way I'm not going to make you go out. If you lie to me and tell me that you can't cuz you don't have shoes on, no. Wrong guy. Don't lie to me. And don't lie to yourself. Own it. Be honest. Mhm. I'm just lazy. Be honest. Nobody Nobody I don't care who you are. I will stand in front of anybody. I don't care who they are or what test they have in life. I'm That doesn't mean that I have it I don't I don't know how hard it is for them maybe. Maybe it's harder for them than anybody else. Whatever. It doesn't matter. I don't care who it is. If they're If they have a pulse and they're able to hear me talking to them, they could do anything to make their life better. Mhm. >> [clears throat] >> No matter who it is. It's much harder for some people than others. So what? So what? So you get the award for having it the hardest. Great. Let's put that up on the wall. Number one, hardest person in the world. Great, you win. Now let's get our lives better. Okay? It's a lie. Lie, l i e, lie. >> Wow. It doesn't exist. There is no such thing as you can't make your life better. Scale back the beast like Jordan Peterson says, scale back the dragon. You can't You can't go on stage, no problem. You can't walk, no problem. Could you sit up? Could you pick your head up off the pillow? Let's do that. Let's do that. You can't I can't run 3 miles. Who asked you to run 3 miles? I asked you to walk up one flight of stairs. I asked you to stop telling your kids to go get your drink. Get off and go get yourself a drink. Your wife comes home with the bags and you're sitting there watching on your phone and she's doing it herself. Get up. Go outside. Stop telling your kids to do stuff that you're not doing. Watch how much your kids help when you go out to help. When I go out to help, my kids run, they don't want me to do it. But if I sit on my butt and make them help and I'm a lazy man, they're not going to want to do anything. So, it's in your control. Yeah, there's and the problem is, I should say, that there aren't too many people out there. Because and I myself maybe included also, I'm thinking about it as we speak, you know, you have mercy on someone else. Like, you know, they're going through something. You don't want to make them feel bad or tell them to do anything, but the truth is, you might be helping them out the most when you tell them that you you can do something about this. How many people are there like that out there? I don't I don't think too many. Listen, the truth is is that you cannot Like, I learned this the hard way. You can't help somebody that doesn't want to help themself. I learned it the hard way. I have worked with people. I've tried. I've tried. I've had people cross my path that really needed a change in their lives. They were their life was on the line. And they came to me in desperation, but they did not want to do that They didn't want to do the work. And I pushed and I pushed, and I called, and I texted, and I showed up in their house, and I inspired, and I motivated, and I proved to them that they could, and I tried to teach them, and I did everything. Everything. And now they're not alive anymore. And I realized I learned my lesson. You can't help somebody who doesn't want to help themself. If you want help, then I ask you, do you do you want it? And you say, yes. How badly do you want it? I want it badly. How badly? More than anything. More than breathing. I'm yours. I'll help you. But if you don't want it, and if your wife calls me, or your girlfriend, or you send your husband, get out of here. I hang up the phone. Hi, my husband needs a transplant. Get out of here. Don't call me. Tell your lazy bum husband to call me. >> [laughter] >> Yeah. >> [snorts] >> Um that's it. Who There aren't too many people who are going to say it the way it is. But it's the biggest uh it's the biggest help when someone's hear hears that. That you can take care you can take control. Uh you know, I want the middle-class people to hear this. You It's your life. You know what I mean? Like I I I'm trying to explain this to you. It's your life. You know what I mean? If just make an assessment. If you like dragging your feet and breathing heavy and being sick all the time and feeling so much fatigue and having a very mediocre life and not doing anything and not living long and taking pills and feeling sick all the time and being very lazy, and you like that, if that's working for you and you're happy, good. You actually have my support and my love. You do. I mean that. If you're very happy with your current lifestyle and it's working for you, and you like having a mediocre relationship, and you like not ever accomplishing things, and that's working for you, then great. You have my blessing. I we I have nothing to say to you. But if you want more, and you're not happy and you're suffering, you can have more. Just make the decision. Either accept it and be happy or make a change and go through whatever difficulty you have and get to that unbelievable life that is going to be so much better than you currently even just make All I'm asking you is to make the choice and be honest. Be honest. Don't tell Mosha or yourself or anyone else in your life that you can't. Say I don't want to or I'm happy as I am. Or I want to make a change. I don't know how. Great, let's get you help. We'll get you help. >> [clears throat] >> Wow. >> Just be honest, please. It's for you, by the way. This is your life. Don't just don't ignore it. Yeah. So, again, very technical. So, let's say in the Alpha Dad program, what what kind of what kind of experience is it? Cuz I I'll tell you, I have a couple of friends who have transformed themselves. And they called me up about it, you know, I don't want to pay you for it. I want to And was this real? And then I have a couple of friends who are high-level you know, executives, uh CEOs, CFOs also that you wouldn't recognize them. They look so much better and are so much happier. So, what what are Give us some examples of what's in the Alpha Dad program that people do. And we break down the body, we break down the minds, we break down your eating habits, your lifestyle. It's really just kind of everything we're discussing here. We just boil it down into something they could do. So, we introduce them to their body. Some people don't even know what their body is and how it works. We introduce them to their eating habits. Nobody wants to starve and nobody wants to, you know, especially if you're Jewish. I mean we eat like pigs. That's what we do. Uh we eat a ton and we drink a lot. So I love food like crazy. I eat everything. I I pound. I would make you Most people would be scared if they see how much I eat and what I eat. But but I do it with a brain. So I teach people how to live I enjoy life. I did not grow up exercising or eating healthy. I used to drink 2 L bottles of soda everyday. This is my life. I sat in front of the TV and lazed around the laziest person. I'm very lazy. That's my nature. That's why I'm so scared of it cuz it's like it's it's a devil whispering waiting to eat my soul. I don't want to give in to it for a second cuz it'll get me, you know? But I still learn the hard way. So I try to make it easy. It's got to be fun. It's got to be easy. I know the devil. I know the demons. I know how hard it is, how scary it is to make a change. How much pressure, how much stress. It's very scary. So I make it easy. I make it fun. I introduce it to your body. I teach you how to eat. I teach you how to cheat. I teach you how to think and how to address the thoughts as they come. The ups and the downs of failure and success. I teach you how to meditate a little bit. Because as we said, meditation is getting to know yourself. Getting to know your mind thinking. Just drowning out the world and being present. And uh it's easy. And it just kind of happens. It's really just in the head. It's the only reason why we don't do this is cuz we're in the way. It's actually pretty easy to make changes in life. You just have to have someone and some path. Mhm. And you just do it. And and typically how long is the program to get a good transformation? >> Different programs. The simple basic one is just 6 weeks. 6 weeks. It takes way shorter than that to make a change. I think it takes a second. But 6 weeks practically to learn. By the end of the 6 weeks you are physically moving like a beast. You know how to work out every part of your body. No weights, no gyms, none of that. Very simple. You learn the main basic movements of life and you can carry that forever. You learn how to eat from the minute you wake up till you go to sleep, when to eat, how to eat, when to drink, how to drink, how to drink a coffee, when to drink a coffee, and make it fun and informative and realistic and practical because we have to do this for real. I'm not interested in you losing 30 pounds and gaining 50 or taking a shot for 3 months, becoming skinny, going off the shot and then becoming triple the size and now you look older. I'm not looking [snorts] for that. Um meditation, how to think, like what does it Most people don't even know what that is or never do it. So, break it down. Make it simple. Make it easy and address all the different things that come up when you make changes in your life. And by the end of that, you're a new man. You're an Alpha Dad. That's it. It's a transformation, you know? There's other ways. I have longer programs. I have uh more intense ones, but the most important one is Alpha Dad. alphadadtransformation.com. It's the most important one. Up with John, j o n, on Instagram. I just try to teach upbeat, positive, making good choices, taking ownership, not living in denial with excuse land, and just making the life that you want to live instead of being stuck in the one that you were just handed to you. So, I want everyone to hear that because making changes is the hardest thing, I believe, out there to do. And there's so many factors. There's your mental state, physical state, and here we have a platform that And by the way, this is not an ad. This wasn't meant to be an ad. It's just This is the natural course that this podcast is going in because this is what people need. That um people need to have some kind of platform which helps them make changes, which is the hardest thing to do. If you're going to do a Weight Watchers, I don't know if that's even around anymore, but something where it's like, you know, lose 30 lb in 10 days, that's not that's temporary. That's not a change. That's just a band-aid or something like that, right? Right? So, having a program that um goes through every factor of the change is is is gold. And maybe there won't be any more middle class after us. >> [laughter] >> Yeah, you know. >> be happy about. >> affordable. It's not expensive. I I try to make it for life. It's got to be like I've done it. I I had to I lost 100 lb of fat and then had to learn how to exercise from scratch. And I've done multiple extreme diets where I lost weight and I I thought it was so good and then I gained much more. I was very frustrated. I couldn't understand. I called people. My brother was a trainer. I'm like, "Could you What am I doing wrong? Like I'm not eating any sugar and it's just not working, you know, I'm trying to lose all this weight. I get extreme. I go crazy. I go out to eat, you know, I bring, I don't know, a slice of whole wheat kale with me. And then I go to a wedding and I shove the kale down my throat while everybody's eating like great food. And I'm like, "What's going on? It works. It works. It works. I lose weight and then boom, I double. I gain double." So, I you have to learn you got It's got to be real. It has to be real. It has to be long-term. It has to be practical and you have to most important, you have to enjoy it. You have to enjoy it. And that's the same thing with everything else we're talking about. Any change you got to do it's got to be bite-size. It's got to be celebrated. And you got to enjoy it and it's got to be practical. If it's extreme, it's not going to work. You're not going to make the $10 million in 1 month even if you see the guys on YouTube doing it. It's not going to work. It's got to be bite-size. You got to be happy about it. Celebrate it. Be proud of yourself. Keep yourself going and make it realistic. Mhm. [clears throat] you blink, you're like, "Wow, I'm at the top of that Empire State Building. When did I do that?" Mhm. Yeah, I know someone, a friend of mine, uh you know, over one summer, I think it was one summer, they changed completely. So, John, so um uh shifting gears a little bit. Uh so, you you're you know, you've built a business from scratch, and I know you've been through multiple uh businesses. Tell us your journey a little bit. How did you got, you know, got to where you are, where you're now you know, training or working with you know, high-level people um on a on a high level. How did you build yourself up to that? Yeah, I mean, I actually originally was in college for pre-med. I was going to be a PA. And I already had a bunch of kids at that point. And it was trying to juggle school. I finished school, and I realized that if I become a PA right now, I'll be making as much money as I could probably making if I'm doing my current business. So, I I just I feel like if you believe that you could do more, like I I kind of always felt like I could do more, you know, like like I said, the authority problem. I could be in his seat. I always thought, no matter what seat I'm in, I could be in the guy's the boss's seat. I always felt that way. Whether it was a scholar, a a brilliant person, a businessman, there's no reason why he could do it and I can't do it. So, and with that being said, I just always have dreams and visions of more. Like, what's more? What could I do next? And where could I take this? So, right now I'm some I was in some terrible garage coaching on the side, you know, training, and I'm like, this is terrible. No no heat. And I did that for years, but I'm like, I could get a nicer place. I got a bigger place, and and then I'm I could have more people. Why am I Why do I charge so little money? You know, like I I think I give something valuable. These people are wasting so much money on other stupid things in their life. Why Why they pay for this? So, I felt like I'm worth it. So, I started charging more money and I started getting like really hard people to work with, you know, like some guy would show up an hour and a half after our session expecting me to work with him. I'm like, "Dude, like your thing ended a half hour ago and you come you're not even dressed. Like you needed 20 minutes of changing and you expect and like how come no one realizes they don't have any respect for me, you know? The people just don't respect me and then I realized I I have to have a standard. I'm going to start getting rid of people. I'm going to start getting rid of I I have a standard. I can't eat I just can't eat it for so long. I just enough to make sure that you can build. You build yourself up. You build up a clientele. Whatever your field is, you build up a clientele until you feel like you at least have a base. And now you take on people that you like more. Mhm. You kind of assess them and you see whether or not this is a person you want to work with and as you start being more selective on who you take on, you start charging more and you charge and you start choosing people that are you think are be a better fit for you, then you start getting rid of the bottom. That doesn't mean that you get rid of people that were loyal. That's not what I'm saying. You hold on to the loyal people and you take care of them cuz they help build you. But the people that don't value and respect you or what you do, you get rid of them. Mhm. And slowly over time, the new people come in, the lower people lower means people that are not appreciative of what you offer them. You drop them and before you know it, your base starts to go up. That's number one. And now if you're constantly trying to grow, if you're constantly thinking about the next, what's the next level? So, you start looking at people that you think are more successful in your field. And what are they capable of? There's no reason why anyone else could be successful and not you. There's no reason. So, as you start working in your field, you start getting more experience, you start believing in yourself and you start vision You have to have visions and dreams. You have to think. Just imagine what would the next level be. So, for me, it was first a more beautiful gym. And then it was more executive people. Then crazy charging more money. And then it's like, "Okay, I did that. I I I I maxed that out. I'm exhausted. Why don't I figure out how to automate?" So, I started building How do people do that? How do you automate? So, I look at other people and I find people that are successful. What do they do? Why should they do it and not me? So, I start learning how to make an app. So, then there's a high-end app. And then people started needing so much of me in the high-end app. And I'm like, "Okay, wait a second. I can only give a certain amount of hours in my life." My first 6:00 a.m. guy I had one point we were doing the 5:30 a.m. thing and the 11:00 p.m. guy and it's you're you know, it's a nice day, but you're dead. And you got a family, right? So, how could I take all the stuff that I'm teaching and multiply myself, clone myself. Let me give them a program that people could do themselves. Make it a much more affordable. How do you do that? You have to learn. It's scary. It's hard, but guess what? I take the stairs. So, for me, entering a new field that's hard, that's fine. I know that behind the hard part is a lot of fun. So, I go and I start learning from scratch. I had to open a social media account. I had no clue what that was. Never took a video in my life. Never went in I never went on Instagram or I didn't care about it. I hated social media. I still do. I had to learn. How do I open an account? How do I make a bio? How do I make a video? A reel? A story? I I don't know. I felt like a teenager. I'm Googling and learning. I've no idea what this stuff is. And one after another. It's It's hard, but if you have a vision, you design the vision with a piece of paper. What does it look like? And you slowly slowly build how to make videos, how to do audio, how to do editing, how to start putting together, how to make a plan, and boom, you build that. And then you make the next program. And then you go and you get investments or you get partnerships or you just get You just You keep growing. I have 10 million things that I'm working on, always. No matter what I do, I have the next 50 batches. So, my my training and my coaching, it's one thing. And then you have coaching people not in person, you have coaching people through an app, and you have coaching people through my program. And then what's next? I feel like I can't even keep up. And it keeps me alive because I get excited when I have a vision and then I bring it to fruition. I'm not afraid of the hardship. And if it fails, it move to the next. Okay, let me find something that works. Wow. So, I see the the spirit of success or the spirit, the spark for success comes from that mindset of taking the steps, taking the stairs. Cuz now you're not afraid. >> Taking the stairs. So, if you're in a company and you're working there and you feel like you want to grow, you like your company and you want to grow. Okay, so Right. what are you going to do? First of all, where do you want to go? Do you have a position in mind? Okay, identify the position. Once you identify the position, ask yourself why in the world would they want me for that position? Well, let me prove to them why they want me and start doing way more than you need to do for that position and showing it to them. Just do it without getting No one's going to give you a reward for it. But you make yourself so so valuable. And then before you know it, they'd be stupid to not put you in that position. And once you take that higher position, you go, "Wait a second. I just got I just got a promotion after 4 months of work or 6 months of work. What else could I do? Why am I stopping here? Maybe I could take the boss's seat." I'm not telling you to do that, but there's a theme here. The theme is First, identify if you want more. And if you want more, believe that you can get more. Then cast your eyes on what's next, make it practical, and then prove that you could do it, make it that someone would be stupid not to have you there. And once you start that process, you you have a you now have a recipe that you could apply to anything. You could do anything with that recipe. >> [clears throat] >> Yeah, I mean, I just had someone who who's in this exact situation. They can't They've been by the same employer for 6 years. They've been completely taken advantage of. They do an amazing job. And he can't take that step forward of asking for a raise or or >> [snorts] >> moving up. And having this mindset, imagine where the what lies behind um that mindset. Just so many rewards. >> this person You said he he does an amazing job? He does a great job. How does he know? Cuz he knows the business in and out. The the boss delegates all his work to him. You know, he's an expert. He knows he's valuable, but for some reason that step, you know, can't can't take that step. Yeah. Yeah, you got you got to take the step. And if if you don't take the step, accept it. Accept it. You're never going to you're never going to take you're never going to get a raise. And if you don't want that raise, if you don't if you want Sorry, if you want the raise and it hurts you to not have the raise and it hurts you more to not have the reason to go into his office. Just It's just a calculated decision. It hurts to go in the office. It hurts to not get a raise. Which one hurts more? Go in. And he might tell you you're actually not as good as you think. And if he does say that, then you have to either find out what you need to do or maybe he just doesn't appreciate you. If he doesn't appreciate you and you really are that good, then go somewhere else. And go somewhere else means wait. Get your resume together, send it out to other places, work really well in the current company, get an offer. And then when you have the offer and it's real, then you go to the boss, you explain to them nicely. You don't burn your bridge. Right. And if he And if he does appreciate you, then he's going to give you the raise. And you ask him, do you Do you feel like, you know, this is what I think I do, bring everything to the table. This is what I think I offer you. This is what I think I bring to the business here. I need more money. And by the way, he's not going to offer it to you. If you don't ask for it, he won't give it. That's the way companies are. Right. Owners do not randomly wake up one day and say, "Let me make less money and give more to him." That's not how how people work. If you come to to get it, >> I'll give it to you. Mhm. And if you don't come to get it, I won't give it to you. Mhm. So, you [clears throat] know, you got to tell this guy take the stairs. He's He's got five flights of stairs. It's a little harder than one flight. So, what? Wow. So, so Jon, how would people get in touch with you if they have questions [snorts] or Sure. They can They can go on Instagram or Facebook. Facebook is Jon Shetrit, j o n s h e t r i t. Instagram is Uproar with Jon. That's u p r o a r w i t h j o n. And they can message me there. My website is alphadadtransformation.com. And they can message Mosha Alpert. We'd be happy to work with the people. Check out the website. Check out the program. It's epic. And uh if you graduate from that program, you have very special things after that. Mhm. Wow. Mosha, let me ask you a question. Go ahead, Jon. How has your life changed since you met me? And I don't mean me, but I mean since we opened up how much you can do in your personal life and believed in you and gave you that space. What would you say you've accomplished personally from this journey together? So, I would say like this. I was actually a little bit overweight. Um uh when we first met. I didn't even realize it, but I didn't feel I was definitely not in top shape. Um and then what I what I would say is cuz we've done a lot of work together. Uh I would say the biggest piece that I've learned and I've grown with is my approach to problem problems in life. Um the mental strength that I've built uh through the through working with you, John. Um has taken me through countless stressful situations. From being on a plane that's delayed 5 hours and having six kids on the plane to being able to handle that. And my wife is like Mosha motionless and she calls me like, "You had it You're good." >> [laughter] >> You know, like you I was never able to do something like that. Um that's one thing, being able to to handle these stressful situations and knowing my capabilities um going much farther and farther than wherever ever I thought I would I would go. Taking me way out of that comfort zone, really. Yeah. That makes me very proud, Mosha. Well, it is true. Um and I'm not just saying it for myself. I want people to just know that. To hear it and find that type of person that they you know, that they that can help them with that experience. I think it's you like you said, your life, you only have one chance at it. Um I would just say one other specific thing that we've just started on was our meditation work. And that piece has become a integral to my life cuz I'm able to just stop and focus and become mindful. And that changes my whole week. It's not just that moment, it's like my whole week. It was really uh a privilege to have you on the show, John. You have a lot to offer and share people that they need to know. Um and there's a lot to talk about, but we know we have time limits, we have lives to to run and and lead. But uh I hope this is going to help people. Really, that's what it's about. If you have feedback, please send it to us. Um and just move forward, make progress, make a change. Don't stay stuck. I just want to say uh first of all, thank you, Moshe, for inviting me and for having me on. Uh anybody who knows Moshe or doesn't know Moshe should get to know Moshe. Moshe is You are a very inspirational figure. He's a man who does. You do a lot. You really do. You don't stop. You build doing this podcast and building businesses, writing a book. I I can't believe it. You're You're so young. You don't stop, man. You just became a rabbi recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A real one, not one of these 1-800 like emailing the rabbi. That's right. >> Um you do you study a lot, you learn a lot, and uh you take care of your family. You're a good man, Moshe. I appreciate you, and it's actually my pleasure. We play racquetball together, we play basketball together, we work out together, we meditate together, we work together. You're a good man. Yes, and there's nothing like having good friends. Thank you very much. I I appreciate that. That was really special. Um and yeah, please, any feedback is welcome. Thank you again, John. Have a good day.