Inside Israel Today: What’s Funny about the Coronavirus?

you're listening to inside Israel today with your Hoffman on the land of Israel Network hello and welcome to inside Israel today here on the land of Israel Network on the land of israel comm where we are in the midst of a coalition crisis and the corona crisis i know which one the politicians care about more they care about themselves but what do the people care about more i don't think they could care less about the politicians we we are here at tuesday morning the politicians were up at the Knesset debating my new show that you couldn't care less about at 1:30 in the morning the makeup of their special committees members open as we're protesting I want to be on the committee why am I not on the committee literally at 1:00 a.m. in the middle of a coalition crisis in the middle of a corona crisis while the numbers were updated of more than a thousand Israelis having this terrible terrible awful virus they don't care ladies and gentlemen they care about themselves and it's very very sad so as long as we're in the middle of the situation that's just too funny you do either have to laugh or cry let's not have a politician on our show today let's have someone who cares like a comedian so we have invited the world's best Jewish comedian on this earth anyway and that's Benji Lovett Benji thank you for coming on our show well that was a funny joke but thank you Gil how are you I've been worse but and but we're trying to reach new levels of worse here during this virus how about you know well you know some people care coalition some people care about karana I care about you so just know that that's really beautiful one positive if there's any that's come out of this virus is that comedy has hit new heights there's special Corona Facebook groups going on right now that are about nothing but comedy people who have nothing better to do with their lives then stay home and sit in front of their computer and trade jokes and memes all day uh are really at their best you disagree are you making fun of me it has been interesting it's just been a creative boom maybe that in terms of the heights of comedy but the amount of comedy there's just an incredible amount of of content right now do have a favorite you know the 10 million memes and images going around and some of them are some are predictable I mean it's like anything with it's like anything with comedy that good contains but good back comedians some stuff is predictable it sometimes really funny there's a lot of funny stuff like they're my favorite so far are the things that not anyone can do I mean anyone can a lot of people are pretending to be comedians and putting out memes today the new Lion King that they put out cartoon Lion King with with scar being Netanyahu of course only in Hebrew and then there's various frozen new versions that have come out with saying are you inflicted with Corona well I didn't see happen I didn't see the movie so go figure when you have children you'll understand how much toilet paper have you stacked up there Benji well not much mostly because I'm in quarantine somebody was kind enough to bring somebody I don't know choose desk for now I mean it's actually like it's got some kind of Turkish packaging on it like I didn't even know what language it was iBooks online that's Turkish but so does the job so um I'm trying not to horde and I'm doing okay so far no one sold you an Amazon a package of 24 toilet paper rolls for $300 I don't want to work on Amazon I'm afraid of what arrived but your talk about something the great things coming out of it this is not funny just show the comedy I think this is where you see Israel's kindness you know so many people have offered to bring me stuff if you put like my new next-door neighbors who I don't even know I've offered to bring these stuffs like generosity is incredible so that's positive yeah your positives coming out of the corona virus that's wonderful no handshaking though how are you getting used to that well you know it's uh that's what we do this thing was serious we even been Tel Aviv and we're becoming shomer negiah I can't shake hands on a quarantine very safe in here in during the quarantine that I had to do after coming back from America and you know no symptoms came back from America I found that the cats have been very good at keeping company they are the only company I have right now and they seem to be which casts minister he was until recently as foreign minister now but nice try the the cats that come to my doorstep I was in the states a week ago and I came back and and the new regulation was that you know we're now to keep a distance two meters my crap now you gonna learn the metric system I'm an American can I do picture bene gas from one of with his hands his arms spread out from from one arm to one hand to one hand you've got your two meters over there yeah you got a sense of human thoroughness so uh fatality is real low we can keep laughing the fatalities are low we can keep laughing so I guess they're not telling people are dying it's okay don't quote me on that I think that's the general rule economy in Italy I guess they can't be telling too many jokes right now I don't know what's going on there yeah I don't speak Italian so I can't say how funny they are not so how does a comedian get by people pay you during this to tell jokes no one knows I mean literally nobody knows I guess my I don't know about my advantage but one thing that I've gone for me is that yeah I've never been just the comedian I come from like the background of Jewish education and and you know Israel programming this nad so there's always like an element of you know education or something more meaningful beneath the comedy so this week I'm doing my first three or four programs I've got a program tonight Framus AA group it's gonna be a little bit of stand-up some discussion but the stand-up is and I am getting paid for that but the stand-up is the hardest part nobody knows how to do it because it's it's awful a comedy is the worst medium to do online but the only thing worse than the NAD is not doing it all so I'll figure it out when you do a stand-up routine online on zoom' you hear the people laughing at least to encourage you saying so this is the thing he's just part that's the thing with with being a any freelancer your craft is the easy part you know now we all have to get into production you know I'm in my living room for those who can see I've got though I'm saying a Boyle performance space in my living room it's like I'm planning with lighting me and a tripod and I did a little pilot earlier this week if you mute everybody so there's no background noise people aren't ruining it you hear nothing and it's awful but if you unlimited everybody then somebody's have their baby crying and so there's no good way to do it but we're figuring out do you stand up when you do stand up comedy when you're online from your own house good question so the first time I did something the other day I was sitting as I am right now and like reading some jokes off of my computer I have tried standing but you have to get the framing right and you have to get close up where they can hear you but it's too close you can't make gestures and we think miserable so that's that's where I'm spending this week doing a bit of trying to play with it okay why do you think about the international phenomenon of people singing in and performing and porches it's pretty cool I don't forwards here I leaned out and started singing uh you know I start doing chakra me at 6:00 in the morning but my neighbors were not into it so I don't know if I pick the wrong Tunes or what do you play guitar I do not that is a limitation for a comedian this experience with you Gil is much like my comedy shows there's no laughing I don't know if I'm bombing I wasn't doing great but I'm a drawings in your face that's all that matters you're doing the fine you're doing fine laughing now you know we had one night where we were told to go outside and make noise and applaud for the medical healthcare professionals around the world who are doing such a good job maybe I don't know taking care of people and I went outside and I really heard it it was really impressive that people cared that was last Thursday night on Sunday night there were messages all over the Internet got to go outside same time 6 p.m. and applaud for BB I went out seriously I'm not making this up I went outside total silence I don't I guess I couldn't hear Petach Tikva or oaf Hakeem from where I am over here outside Jerusalem but I felt really bad for the guy but then I I asked on Twitter did anyone here anyone applauding anywhere and and this somebody sent me a video of two apartment buildings in particular where they blasted music the pro BB song that they play at the coud rallies and then sure enough I got a whole compilation on video of it and a half of 10 different places around the country where they did the pro BB thing and you know who sent me that Benji BB yes exactly it's uh well I don't even on my message Arun I can't even my window face is nothing like I couldn't sing to the cats gosh I'm so live in a studio I'm just glad I'm in quarantine in a multi room apartment are you in here in quarantine right now I am technically in quarantine which means that I well people around the country are suffering from having to take care of their children and work at the same time I am in a very quiet empty house not helping prepare for Passover in any way and I feel only a little guilty it's uh I I swear I'm not joking I had a dream last night when I think I went down to throw out the trash or something I brought my phone with me and then when I got back there were policemen at my door because they knew I had I left and when I woke up I knew it was not real I've had that dream too it's so scary and we've got this thing between us Benji you know I really I've read all these things about of the Shin Bet is listening to everything we do right now the security service they're trying to find people that have evaded their quarantine rules which are not particularly clear by throwing out your garbage did you break the law the it is there jail time for that I took out the garbage to where the cats pies are they gonna report me is that what people do who are on their porches all around me if they're not singing are they looking for for people who are breaking the law so they can have somebody to report and feel good about themselves I just recently watched out the spy on Netflix with Ellie Cohen can you imagine telling Ellie Coen it came back today that the intelligence services now are like tracking down people throwing out the trash and flip-flops you would say what the heck is going on that's the security trick there's a lot of what the heck is going on who would have believed that everybody around the world would just stay home and do nothing and wake up really late and binge on the internet all day Benjy aver if people have you become a role model to the entire earth oh god it is nice when these things put us all in touch a lot of people in line I gotta tell you from the feedback I'm getting people are really enjoying kovat 19 even if they didn't see 18 first you can enjoy it don't even see the originals and this one stands on its own I feel like so Benjy what advice would you give to people suffering around the world who need some hope so I would say you got to stay positive we're gonna get through this here's a tip I have we gotta continue to be human beings and be social creatures during this time so flight was in quarantine I found a great way to make new friends heal all you gotta be walk into a public bathroom well cup and some are washing their hands and start counting to 20 in their ear they will love that hey buddy that was only 17 start over from the beginning that's number one number two is as always come visit Israel it's safe it's great and by the way if you walk through customs with a suitcase of iPads iPhones start coughing they will not stop you easiest thing you'll ever do people will love you that is my advice for you go home that is a wonderful advice not only to me but to the entire world and my advice to the world is since the apocalypse is approaching we know too much time left move to Israel come here Mary Benji love it there's nobody better you all of you Mary Benji it's nobody better to share the last moments before we all shrivel up and die that we will be watching the wedding on Zoom Benji appreciate that thank you ladies and gentlemen thank you for being with us and thank you Benji for being with us inside Israel today after the break we'll be talking about politics which as we said is very not funny I remember this Israel today kill because it's gonna be notes tomorrow today no it's tomorrow that's thank you they're empty illusions and the more idols we have and the greater faith we place in them the more painful all of this will be we are living in unprecedented times what the future holds is unknown I got six kids that I got a feed dress brush their teeth get their bags packed we got to get them in the car and now in the morning we wake up and we just we're not going anywhere why is this happening join Ari Abramowitz and Jeremy Gimpel on Israel inspired as they discuss their different views on the current world situation and how to navigate these turbulent waters maybe you're right maybe or not you haven't received the prophecy of what will be maybe they should just prepare themselves for the worst and hope for the best I have messages that I think are more in tune with what people can do now that's Israel inspired with Ari and Jeremy on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel God [Music] and we're back here on inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm where we had to we got to deal with some comedy and some official funniness in the first half of our show and yet unfortunately what's going on in politics is a lot less funny I do still have the right to enter the Knesset when I will no longer be in quarantine and I'm looking forward to that but meanwhile it's a good thing that everything that goes on in the Knesset nowadays what's left of it anyway is broadcast on channel 99 on the regular Israeli cable as well as on our really bloated Internet that's slowing all around Israel right now and so I've been able to follow what's been going on and yes those Knesset meetings did happen until 1:30 in the morning and there was a mere parrots complaining to Gabi Ashkenazi and Bennigan's why did you not put me on your committee I'm a former Minister of Defense special committee on intelligence that's inside the Foreign Affairs and defense committee and they debate whether to let a mirror in their group air after one o'clock in the morning and that just made me think you really really don't get it you really really don't realize how pathetic you all look right now we have this terrible pandemic all around the world Israel is suffering from it as much as everybody else is except for the outliers there in China and Italy and Spain and Iran why don't you stop helping yourself for a little bit why don't you start doing things that are unquestionably only for the people and uh you know there's that not realizing that that is what you have to do is something really goes across the board politically right now that means blue and white not joining a government led by Netanyahu I realized they do technically have a majority sixty-one to fifty eight or nine depending on how you count it but Netanyahu is slightly more experienced than anybody else right now maybe let him continue to run this crisis and join him and get some experience a little bit same thing goes the other way you can say to the people only could well when egads got the chance to form a government just join it make him be the prime minister let Lee could continue to handle the things their most important Tilly good in Netanyahu be the vice prime minister in charge of the coronavirus and continue to help save people against chances are would agree to that neither of those things are happening we're not seeing any compromise is happening and in fact both sides continue to do things that will upset the other side so much that they might not be able to recover from this and form the unity government that not only is what the people want but is the only potential government the minority government there's not a majority for on either side that leaves a unity government the fact that they are not forming one right now when it's the only thing they can do is absurd both sides right now they through are threatening a fourth election that is is literally impossible to carry out when a third of the country is quarantined it can't be done the they last time what do they have a few last time they had a few hundred people in quarantine who went out and had special tents that were set up that enabled them to vote well that's nice and everything how about this time have a few hundred people who are not voting in special tents whose votes are not counted by people wearing hazmat suits and the other six million people in the country they will all be counted I have to vote one by one well we'll do the vote over three years everyone will get their time every bevery keeping their social distancing and then maybe we'll have a new prime minister after that no it can't be done politicians across the political spectrum there is no fourth election stop talking about it but they talk about it every day of course they talk about it their way they don't say I will go to fourth election because if they do that people hate them no they say the other guy what they're doing that's gonna bring about a fourth election it's him it's not me and they've been saying that over and over and over again well and they've been threatening like a child if you do a B and C and that means you're gonna initiate a fourth election and everyone will blame you for it wait wait a second you you just said if I do this then that'll be a fourth election but what you're doing is you're saying you will bring about the fourth election if I do that and anyway I think the opposite I think that if you do de and F then you're gonna be the one causing a fourth election and everyone will blame you for that grow up grow up politicians across the political spectrum no one cares anymore no one cares anymore if we have this committee or that committee and don't listen to the fringes there are fringes on both sides we're saying don't compromise we're saying stand up for your prince stand up for your promises to the voters NoHo don't listen to those people we don't care what you've promised anymore the election that happened the third election way back when on the 2nd of March I realized that that was still technically this same month that we're in right now but that was in a different era that was in the pre corona world that no longer exists ladies and gentlemen I mean they had a little bit of Corona they had it in China they didn't have it here yet in a serious kind of way that that was a different planet and we are no longer on you know to use the connotation that Americans will understand more than anyone that is so September 10th way back when September 10th 2001 people had no idea how dangerous and how serious the world was and when people did anything afterward there was like totally frivolous or self-centered or whatever people would say to them how can you act like that that is so September 10th our politicians are caught in September 10th mode right now and they've really got a snap out of it so now looking forward politically well the Knesset is going to be meeting today maybe they'll approve their new Knesset Corona committee and we'll try to help people maybe they won't let it form because it was formed in a way that wasn't so democratic I don't know or maybe it was democratic depending on what side of the political map you're on everybody is appropriating the democracy to themselves and only themselves right now the Supreme Court has given Knesset speaker Yuli Edelstein until tomorrow until Wednesday to initiative vote replacing himself and he has said no and I understand why he said no because if he gets replaced then it'll be harder to technically to form a unity government because the Prime Minister and the Knesset speaker tent until always be from the same party there have been a couple other cases though and so it can be different but it would be much harder so he is saying that he is being magnanimous by not offering to leave his job as Knesset speaker and he is really doing it for the sake of unity in the country to facilitate there being a unity government but I can also understand the other side that says leave the job there's a majority against you right now you are being undemocratic so that's all going to hit the fan I guess the proverbial fan on Wednesday and then maybe will they start compromising I hope so we will see that is what's happening inside Israel today right now and I want to end with saying what's going on inside the Land of Israel today I will unfortunately be discontinuing this show for a little bit and so I appreciate the people are in Jeremy who run the Land of Israel Network and who are out there on a mountaintop serving the Jewish people and I appreciate the other show hosts and I appreciate all of you listeners who have been here with me weekend week out on the Land of Israel not working before that on the voice of Israel every day they're listening hearing what's going on inside Israel today we will be back some day soon thank you from here just outside Jerusalem and praying for better days bye-bye while we're facing a threat of an endemic disease we conducted a whole election nothing can stop our Jewish Democratic state we want to have a say in the future of the Jewish people that is being written as we speak we are in the glory days of the Jewish people and even more glorious days are yet to come because of the strength of the Jewish people showed in this election listen to inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman political correspondent for The Jerusalem Post every week on the land of Israel dot-com inside Israel today normally deals with what's going on behind the scenes in Israeli politics this week's show deals with The Lion King soon you must remember and it's connections to Zionism the one true - why is the Lion King a Zionist movie come on find out on inside Israel today on the land of Israel that were on the land of Israel calm I called for a vote I'm not home for her cares about this stupid election you should know the vote but what's going on behind the scenes as Israelis prepare to go to the polls tune into inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm for all the action as it happened if you vote for me all of your wildest dreams will come true [Music] his Star Wars Jewish for over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace of justice tune in to inside Israel today with your Hoffman to find out the answer as he discusses the release of Star Wars rise of the skywalker and it's connection to pora a Jedi uses the force from dialectic defense plus an interview with commanding officer Adam Nachum of the 501st stormtrooper Israel outpost unit the Shabbos table you do a dutiful Taurus nice sometimes to throw out an image here and there because it captures people's imagination sometimes better some they can relate to that's inside Israel today every Tuesday on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel wrong with you oh if you want to improve relations between Israel and American Jews one of the things that you should do is encourage people to listen to the Land of Israel Network listen Eve Harrow and listen to each I Fletcher and listen to re Jeremy and slo-mo Katz and listened at Mike foyer and listen to Josh hastin because the Land of Israel Network has a mission and that's to spread love between Israel American Jews there's so much to love about Israel there's so much to love about Israelis and I think the Land of Israel network is part of the solution you are all part of the solution you're listening to the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel comm broadcasting the trees and beauty of Israel to the world [Music] Prime Minister Netanyahu Benny Gunz avid or Lieberman ya bleed but Seles mantra Moshe Feiglin what's going on behind the scenes as Israelis prepare to go to the polls on September 17th tune in to inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm for all the action as in happening Jonathan Pollard served in an American prison for 30 years in 2015 he got out of jail but is you really free listen to inside Israel today to find out what is going on with Jonathan Pollard right now and his quest to come to Israel and to take care of his wife Esther who is currently very very sick that's inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman The Jerusalem Post chief political correspondent on the lands of Israel network at the Land of Israel dot-com [Music] hello I'm Gil Hoffman host of inside Israel today here on the land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm Israelis are voting for the third time in under a year and they're celebrating Hanukkah where there was just enough oil that was supposed to last one day that lasted 8 - Israelis have enough energy to last for eight elections find out by listening to inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm for her to say that because of her discomfort with the Prime Minister that she is not even going to come to Israel to receive this prize tune in to an exclusive interview with Michael Medved one of the most successful Jewish talk-show hosts of America has to say about Natalie Portman in the scandal about her refusing to accept a two million dollar prize in Israel I think because she is Israeli originally and I know my family in Israel always looked at Natalie Portman yes she is on the left and she is an artiste but she's one of ours that's inside Israel today here on the land of Israel network on Land of Israel calm as long as I'm pregnant estranged along the lines with the Israeli election days away tune in for an interview with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu the last 10 years in Turnersville into a world power where active power in the world Jill Hoffman of inside Israel today interviews the prime minister I don't think any country in the world is better organized to address this challenge than usual here the full show on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel dot-com [Music] this week on inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel comm Gil Hoffman will speak about whether Netanyahu's entered a political minefield in the repeat election and he will interview a nod will former member of Knesset from the Labour Party about whether the Labour Party is doomed to die and whether there will be three feet election listen to inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm hello I'm Gil Hoffman host of inside Israel today and I'm honored to be taking part in the shadow of a lifetime at the Mount Zion hotel come join yours truly and other show hosts here such as re Abramowitz Jeremy Gimpel Yves Harrow Ayesha Fleischer talking about Torah and inspiration what will I be talking about you'll just have to come out to the Mount Zion hotel to gloat of a lifetime Thursday through Monday June 6 through 10 to 2019 for more information visit the land of israel dodge travel that's the land of israel dot travel it's much more real than any reality show it's much more dramatic than any drama it's much more funny than any comedy it's like a game show but it's our lives listen to inside Israel today with Phil Hoffman political correspondent for The Jerusalem Post every week on the land of Israel dot-com this week on inside Israel today we have Saul singer the author of startup nation the book that tells people around the world why Israel is such a big success many many countries want to work with Israel and it's a positive story it's Israel making a difference in the world that's inside Israel today here on the land of Israel network on a land of Israel calm Israel was founded despite the Holocaust but because of the Holocaust this week on inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman an interview with Naftali Bennett head of my yahoodi party and Minister of Education that's not about the safe haven it's about coming home tune in to hear one of the most powerful people in the Israeli Knesset that's inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel dot-com this is Naphtali Bennett and you're on the Land of Israel Network tune in for an exclusive interview with get stock Andrus former mayor of thetari weeds and former deputy mayor of Jerusalem now it candidates for cane assets with United Torah Judaism the Green Line was beer fifty years ago the Green Line is maybe a nice piece of paper the UN but it doesn't really mean anything for a regulars really today it's about 50% of the examinee Jewish population the police flipped over the Green Line for the full interview listen to inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel calm this week on inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman an exclusive interview with former Israeli ambassador to the u.s. Michael Oren on the rash of anti-semitic attacks in America those attacks on Jews in New York is not isolated incidents but part of a national scourge that has to be confronted and not just by putting policeman in front of synagogues for the full interview check out inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman every Tuesday on the Land of Israel network at the Land of Israel dot-com this week on inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm we will get first-hand testimony from the successful Jerusalem Post conference in New York from behind the scenes at that event he's doing all of it for the sake of the Jewish people with his keeper on his head to show the Jewish people will survive listen to inside Israel today on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm and we are faced with a huge challenge here I'm worried about the rift and the split this is Gil Hoffman host of inside Israel today here on the Land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm I interviewed the next chairman of the Jewish Agency and current opposition leader of Israel Isaac Herzog but I preferred doing it because the enormous challenges facing the Jewish people and my feeling that I have a unique opportunity to leave my mark and when it comes to the well-being of the Jewish people tune into inside Israel today on the Land of Israel Network on ilana visual comm to hear this interview and many exciting interviews in the ill 20:48 Israel we live 20 million citizens 20 millions in this small country and 50 million of them will be Jewish because in Israel you'll remain Jewish this is Gil Hoffman a host of inside Israel today here on the land of Israel network listen to my interview with storied Israeli general turned Likud Knesset candidate boozy Diane on my show inside Israel today here on the land of Israel network on the Land of Israel calm have you ever wondered what the Israeli Arab political parties really think we can't be part of occupation part of the occupation our people we can be part of that the mission of soil Palestinians house in Israel episode we can be fast giving our nation tune in for an exclusive interview with Madonna's jihad man the new leader of the ballade party for the whole interview check out inside Israel today with Gil Hoffman oh no and the best Rona