Thought for the Week Vayeira Education, Education, Education, Boundaries, Boundaries, Rabbi Winner

Khaverim, how are you? I hope everyone is gezunt, shtark, un ferlich begashmius uveruchnius. I hope everyone is healthy, strong, and happy spiritually and physically. Today is erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Vayeira. And Shabbos Kodesh is chof cheshvan, the yahrtzeit of the Rebbe Rashab, the fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe. I will speak about the connections and the lessons as usual. But first, we start with tzedakah, because with tzedakah shmuel kirev segulah, Mashiach should come now. Then we're going to say a prayer, which is one of my favorite prayers of all, and we've spoken about this many times, and I believe it's something which touches upon the very fabric of the Jewish nation and identity and the quality of a Jew. And that is the prayer that we say by Havdalah. Havdalah means separation. And we finish the bracha of Havdalah al motzei Shabbos, baruch atah Hashem Elokeinu Melech ha'olam, blessed are you, Lord our God, King of the universe, hamavdil bein kodesh l'chol, the one who makes a distinction between the sacred and profane, bein or l'choshech, between light and darkness, bein Yisrael l'amim, between the Jewish nation and the other nations, bein yom hashvi'i l'sheishes yemei ma'aseh, between the day of Shabbos and the other days of creation. Baruch atah Hashem hamavdil bein kodesh l'chol. Thank you, Hashem. Bless you, Hashem, for making a distinction between sacred and profane. So from this blessing, we see the concept of absolutes and separation. And this is a very, very fundamental foundation of Yiddishkeit, of morality, of justice, of society, as we'll see. Let's talk about the parsha. I'm going to focus on three Sukkot, one person from last week's parsha, but two Sukkot from this week's parsha. What happens in this week's parsha? In this week's parsha, we have the ninth and 10th test of Avraham Avinu. As the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot which says, "Asarah Nisyonos had Avraham Avinu was tested by 10 tests." Rashi brings down, and according to most commentaries, the ninth test and the 10th test is the test where Avraham has to banish Ishmael from his home. And the 10th test is the test of the Akedah, where he was asked to sacrifice his son Yitzchak. Now, it's very important to look at all these tests and learn from them the lesson and the message. Obviously, and that's why it's in the Torah, Torah miloshon hora, everybody has a life where he has challenges and he has struggles. And what is the lesson over here with the ninth test and the 10th test? What we're going to speak today, by the way, is not so much chassidus, even though of course we'll bring from chassidus, but it's more basic. And the answer is what makes the ninth test and the 10th test is because it's about personal loss. Or rather, there's tests that are mibachutz, from the outside, and then there's tests that are mipnim. In the ninth test, Avraham was asked to banish his son. And the 10th test, which was Ishmael, and the 10th test, he has to sacrifice his son Yitzchak. Today, I would like to talk about the ninth test. And where I believe that it's very, very relevant, since my field is education, and this is a subject that comes up so often, imagine those parallels that you have a doctor, and he deals with people that are unwell. And he feels terrible because people are unwell, but he feels also that I'm listening to the rules of hygiene. Like simple instructions. And that would prevent so much. So in the same way I feel that there's a necessity to discuss certain things over and over again to prevent things that are negative and harmful and destructive, etc., etc. So, let's start with what does it say in the parashah? We see by Ishmael and we're talking about why the test was difficult, just to talk about the verse itself. Sarah told Avram that he has to banish his the son Ishmael, and Rashi says over there that Avram was pained. The pasuk says, "Vayeira Avram me'od be'einei Avram." And it was very, very greatly distressing for Avram al odot beno regarding his son. And Rashi brings down first of all because he heard the sad news that Ishmael is going in a bad way, but also the second thing that Rashi brings down, "Vepshutei al shem mered leishalchei." That he was told that he has to kick out. We're talking about his child. And there's nothing as painful as something from within. So first let's talk about that for a second. We think we see this theme again and again. Let's say for example by Yaakov Avinu. "Vayeishev Yaakov." And what does Rashi say over there? "Bikkesh Yaakov leishev beshalvah um vekaftzu alav rigzei Eisav." There was nothing as painful, there was nothing as as as suffering, as great suffering and distressful to Yaakov Avinu than what he had to go through with the whole story with Yosef. Because that was in-house, that was his children. The sibling rivalry, call it whatever you want, and the disappearance without any closure of what happened to this child Yosef was more hurtful and painful beyond anything else that he experienced before, facing Eisav and facing Lavan. Because all those things, Eisav was a brother, but it's not the same thing as is And it was a clearly defined enemy. Esau is the bad guy. And it wasn't considered a personal loss. Laban is like the bad guy. We know clearly this is evil. This is what I have to fight against. But how do I deal with personal tragedy or tragedy? How do I deal with personal loss? It's a whole new story. So, it's the same thing over here. The ninth test was harder than all the other previous tests cuz when Avram is facing Nimrod and stories like that, the opposition is clear, there's clarity, he knows what to do, he stands for this side, that stands for the enemy, and then if I know what to do when I have such challenges. But what happens when the challenge is maybe from within? From within, it's your child. That this positive positivity to all time. I just want to make clear by the way, we're not talking about anything over here about sending away a child, God forbid, etc. etc. We have to depersonalize it and then vest it over the story and look at the concept. The concept is over here about making sure and creating a safe space from within so that you're protected, so to speak, from things that could be negative. That's the lesson that we have to take from the story of Avram. And this point has to be hammered again and again. For some reason, sometimes people look at these things and they make light of it. Like, why do you have to be so careful? Why do you have to be so secure? Why do you have to be so worried for? You're so scared of the world. And the answer is, you know what? The Torah is smarter than you. And we see this message again and again from the Torah, which will elaborate that a bit again because it has to be hammered on home and I'm talking to myself. And we hear this from the Rebbe also. People like to talk about Chabad the bad which is being open and we're engaging. It's true. But at the same time by the Rebbe it was never at the sacrifice of bringing down the standard. The Rebbe was going for top standards from his Chassidim. Does that mean that we we we we cut ourselves off from others? No. Well, and we'll see this lesson from from our drama video as a matter of fact. What makes our drama video special is on the contrary, the fact that he is outward and engaging and bringing others close, but at the same time when it came to a security risk in-house he had to make sure to do the right thing, which in the story of our drama video meant throwing banishing throwing out Yitzchak Yishmael from the house. That's not what we're talking about, but we're talking about the concept. Okay, please. We're talking about the concept over here and this is the lesson that we have to learn and why it was the most difficult test and like I said before, the answer is cuz when we're dealing from a threat from within, that's the most difficult and the most painful and you have to make the right decision. And what do I mean from within? Let's Let's define it for myself when it comes to control over my own things, my machshava, my thoughts, my speech. >> [snorts] >> Self-control, self-restraint. My actions. Hiskafya. I have to make sure that it's a healthy space and a healthy environment and be on guard. Okay, so where else do we see this idea? Let's talk about this concept of making sure that you're safe. So first of all, we spoke about this many times. For example we have the idea with the Mishnah Brachot where it says "V'susu yog laTorah." Susu yog laTorah means like a board on a fence around the Torah. That's not only enough the black and white what the Torah says, the border. It means to make it extra secure like like "V'ein adam bo l'dei aveira." Like for example, the way Chassidus brings the analogy is that because the parent loves the child so much they make the house child-safe. What does it mean they make the house child-safe? You can't open up a drawer. Because in case a child will open up the drawer and they might find something in there which is harmful. Before you have the staircase, you have something there that that's a gate that the child can't open up the gate cuz they'll fall down the stairs. And so on and so forth. So, on the one hand, this is the point that what he says comes to say. That on one hand, it seems like it's a humra. It's It's It's a stringent It's stringent It's stringency. But on the other hand, the humra is really coming out of the love. So, when it's coming out of the love and the love is conveyed and brought out, so then we understand that the borders is safety. And it's only good and there's no problem with that. And this is the message what I want to bring out today from today's sheer. Call it education, education, education. Or boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Education, education, education starts with the concept that we have to understand there's distinctions, there's light and there's day, hamavdil bein kodesh l'chol, bein or l'choshech, bein Yisrael l'amim. Just like in the physical sense, you know that these are nutrients and this is healthy for you and this is poison and will kill you. In the same way, there's morality, there's distinctions. You have to know what's going to enhance your spiritual development and your morals and your values and your virtues. What's going to bring out your better self and what are the things that are going to be harmful and that are dangerous? It's so ironic that in Australia, I think it's one of the first countries that said that they want to make a ban on social media under 18, etc. And they're the governments are talking about it. And if you would have spoken like that 5 years ago, they'd say, "Oh, you're so close-minded. Come on." And now, all of a sudden, it's becoming legislation. The world sees it. How social media has destroyed the generation, the youth. And so on and so forth. If you want to talk about the Rebbe, just the other night I was watching the video of the Rebbe talking about not having non-kosher animals. How more charedi, so called, I'm using for lack of a better word, can you get with the Rebbe is saying that to prevent harmful effects on your child, he shouldn't see a picture of a mouse or of a cat. This is what the Rebbe said. Don't have those baby pajamas with rabbits on it. These are not my words. These are the Rebbe's words. So, he see the Rebbe is talking why? Because just like it would come to physical health, you do everything within your power not even to slightly harm your child. The Rebbe once spoke a sicha where he said, "Imagine went over to a parent and you told him, 'We'll go for health 50/50.'" And the Rebbe gave a scream that no parent is going to agree to 50/50 when it comes to health. He's going to say 100% healthy, no compromise. So, if that's the way it works with physical health, the same thing it should be with spiritual health. And one of the problems, and where it starts from, and this is what which which I think is pretty obvious, is this concept of boundaries, boundaries, and education. Education means you're brought up with distinctions. You understand there's good and there's evil, there's holy and there's profane. And because with today everything is moral moral ambiguity, moral relativism, so therefore you have all the problems, many of the problems. So, let's go back for a second to parshas in parshas um Lech L'cha, which spoke about Yishmael. And what did it say? What is Yishmael? The angel came to Hagar and said, "Yishmael is going to be a pera adam." What's a pera adam? Pera adam, they translate over there a wild ass of a man. But it means irresponsible. It means reckless. It means the opposite of of restraint, of discipline, of borders. And that's why this week's parsha, when it says that Sarah saw Yitzchak, I'm sorry, when Sarah saw Yishmael going off the rails, improper, first of all says she saw the way Ishmael was aiming to kill Yitzchak. But Rashi also brings down on the word, it says the following words, that "Vateira Sarah es ben Hagar ha-Mitzris asher yalad l'Avraham metzachek." So, this is the translation. Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian whom she had born to Avraham mocking. Metzachek means like laughing. Okay. So, they translate of him mocking. And Rashi brings down three [snorts] ways three things that are connected to the term metzachek. He says "Lashon avodah zarah." It's connected to idolatry. "Lashon d'var acher lashon giluy arayos." It also could refer to illicit relations. And "d'var acher lashon retzichah" murder. So, I want to explain this ta'am which I like very much. You know what? It also is bringing out the point that in the eyes of the people that do things wrong, what what what they all look at it like it's nothing. That's called like a kal she b'kal it's light, it's easy. What's metzachek? I want to have fun. Fun could be murder. You're a hunter. You kill and you don't see distinctions. You don't see distinctions between an animal and a human. You hunt animals, you could hunt humans cuz you don't know, you don't make distinctions. Giluy arayos, it's not serious my relations. I'm just having some fun. I I I'm really I don't really care for it, it's just fun. And the same thing is whatever, everything becomes light. There's no real seriousness and attachment. Gravitas, that this is moral and this is immoral and this is profane and this is holy. And that's what it is metzachek. Everything the whole thing is really a joke. If you don't believe in a God, so what difference does it make anyways? Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So, it starts with being a peddler of dum. There's no there's vildkeit. There's no boundaries. There's no borders. And then from that, everything becomes a joke. It's mitzvah-ic. And you make light of everything. You do all these things. Now I want to go to the to pasuk in this week's parsha, which is brings out how important And this is what makes us Jewish. about the education And education means the basics of education start What does education mean? The basic of education means you start by saying what's right and wrong. And that's the pasuk where it says that Hashem loves Avram. Why does Hashem love Avram? Hold on a second. Why does Hashem love Avram? And I don't know if there's another place where it says clearly what makes a Avram special. Why was he chosen? What makes him special? And we have the pasuk in this week's parsha where it says ki idativ for I have cherished him l'ma'an asher yetzaveh es banav v'es beiso acharav because he commands his children and his household after him v'shamru derech Hashem it to guard the way of Hashem la'asot tzedakah u'mishpat doing charity and justice l'ma'an havi Hashem al Avram eis asher diber alav So there's so much to talk about this pasuk. And it's really late, so I'm not going to elaborate. So the first thing I want to say is So what makes him special? Cuz he can bring up his children properly? That doesn't sound so premium. That's like It's like, you know, cuz you're good at telling others what to do. No. So first of all, the point is that you obviously are going to living it. You're living it properly. You're living it totally. When you're living it totally, the first rule in education is to be a role model. There's no guarantees. But that's the first rule. So, number one, if we say that why was cherished? Because he was is cuz he's the ultimate role model. He lives it 100%. He lives it, he breathes it, he's inspired by it, it's his excitement, it's his blood, it's his life. So, that he imparts to his children automatically. But that's not enough cuz let's say somebody's a role model, but he's more he wants to be aloof, he wants to be separate, he's a scholar, he's a mystic, he becomes a hermit. No. What's really more important than being a role model is that you actually are engaged and you realize what's more important is the benefit you bring for others and how you impact others. And in our case, starting from your children. Charity begins at home. And there's a phenomenal Thomas which I find inspiring to no end. Which says as follows, eighth of Thomas Yoyim. We find that the main reason why cherished Avinu was because it's over. Because he will command. But what does command mean? He says he have her. He connects. So, what is Avram's specialty? What makes him beloved and cherished? He's a connector, he connects others to Hashem. As one of his basic and then he he says I knew. Listen to these words. The cold gave us all this in this. The great awesomeness and the greatness of Avram passing over 10 tests. Think about it. The story of that kid that which is always mentioned we say it every single day but that winning. And we got Russia Shana also and it's considered the greatest all times for the entire nation. It comes out from this Yem Yem, something which is even greater. The cold greater love of the Bal Shem Tov is ain ba'arah, IS INCOMPARABLE IT'S NOT AS GREAT measurable to this that you will connect another mashi zachar acherim that you merit others. In other words, my friends, I wish I lived up to this but you should know that when you're going on a plane and you have your pair of tefillin and you ask somebody on the plane to put on tefillin and that person puts on tefillin, you accomplish something greater than the akedah of Avraham Avinu. These are not my words, this is what it says in Yem Yem of Chayei Tammuz. So, what made Avraham special? What's the Jewish way? Number one, bring benefit to others. Obviously, what are we talking about of bringing benefit to others? There's physical benefit but there's also spiritual benefit. And it says Avraham Avinu was another level of nachshai, he lowered himself and his level of spirituality and was constantly bringing others closer to the truth and to Hashem and to the ways of generosity spreading goodness and kindness and that was Avraham Avinu's whole being and whole identity. And so this is a very very important and very important lesson. But again, we see from this pasuk, now let's go back to the simple meaning. L'ma'an asher tziva is basically his bonav, his bonav is basically we're talking about education. In other words, it's built into the fabric. When the Ribono Shel Olam says, "What makes Avraham special?" He's going to understand the importance and the role of education in the future of the Jewish nation. Education is paramount. I once read a letter from the Rebbe where the Rebbe was saying that the Rebbe Rashab is the common denominator of all of the seven generations of Chabad was chinuch. Education. And this is again, just like we speak about boundaries, boundaries, boundaries, we also have to talk about education, education, education, education. It has to be the number one priority, as we see from this possuk. Wow. That what make what what what what was the special outstanding characteristic of our Rebbe, you know? The fact that he was an educator, the fact that he was a teacher, the fact that he made sure that there should be a continuation. There's another maamar hazal, but I'm not going to elaborate because I said it's already late, which I think brings out this point very much, and that is if you learn Tanya without Torah speaks about the maamar hazal which says, and this is very much on a personal level, the idea of making sure you have a safe space, so to speak. To say briefly, the Alter Rebbe starts the whole magnum opus opuses of his Tanya, which is the Tanya sheba'al peh chassidus, with the idea of the question, why is it that there's a saying of our sages, "Even if the whole world calls you a tzaddik, even if the whole world even if the entire world says that you're righteous, even if the whole world calls you a tzaddik, you have been a kadosh, you should see yourself as a wicked person." So, the Alter Rebbe explains, it doesn't mean you should see yourself wicked, but as a wicked person. But what's the what's the And the Alter Rebbe asks this question as the first question of his masterpiece, you know, just like we talk about Torah, and there's so much written on why does the Torah start with Bereishit bara Elokim et hashamaim ve'et ha'aretz, and the first Rashi speaks about it. So, it's the same thing over here. Why would the Tanya start off with this question? What makes it so you think you think a book about chassidus, Nishmas deraicha, is going to start off with, I don't know, what, something going on, lifnei Adam tzu, some deep deep mystical level of Kabbalah. You know what I'm saying? Something about atzmus u'mehut, something about Ein Sof, something about that. That would be like, let's start at the very beginning. And what does it start off with? This line, the human condition, which is even if the whole world means bottom, everybody says you're amazing, you're great, you're special. And the answer the Alter Rebbe gives the answer in chapter 13. He starts with that question, and he gives the answer in chapter 13. And the And And And to put it briefly, the point is you have a condition. And the story of Tanya is the story of the human struggle. And that's what the beauty of it is cuz there's nothing as beautiful as truth. And you're normal. You're like everyone else. And everyone else has a struggle. But be aware of your heart condition. Your heart condition is that you were born in such a way that you might have tendencies to some to some things that might be dangerous, that might be poison, that might be harmful, that might be toxic. And therefore, no matter what you're holding, just be aware of that. So that you stay healthy. Imagine you went to the doctor and the doctor told you certain tips, the do's and the don'ts. And thank God he gave you those instructions. So therefore, you're going to live to 120. But if he didn't If he didn't have such a friend, SUCH A GOOD DOCTOR, WHO KNOWS? YOU WOULDN'T realize that there's such a thing that you might be drawn to this thing, and you might have ingested it, and then who knows what could happen? That's the answer the Alter Rebbe gives. And I find it I find it so relevant and so essential that this is how the Alter Rebbe starts his Tanya, and this is his answer. And how it's like this is the most important lesson. And that's why the Alter Rebbe starts with that. And this is like the number one important lesson in life, which basically means this idea of being on guard and separation and boundaries, etc. etc. And I said that this Shabbos is the Yem Heledis of the Rebbe Rashab. So just to say one story of the Reb Rashab, to me the Reb Rashab represents accelerated holiness, top top top standard. He was the one who made the Yeshiva of Tomchei Tmimim Lubavitch, which boys at at at from 14, 15, 16 were learning Chassidus. It was amazing, the whole system that he set up, and he revealed deepest deepest secrets of Chassidus, of Kabbalah to teenagers. And it was part of the system, part of the curriculum. And people were amazed at it that that, you know, he's bringing the highest highest levels to to Mr. Average student, teenager. And the same thing is with many many stories talking about education. There's many stories where the Friediker Rebbe is only son, it says of the stories that happened how his father educated him, and he finishes off the story by saying, "A dos is chinuch. This is education." And all those stories, we see a certain standard, you know, top standard, going for gold, high high level, striving for excellence, so to speak. So, I'll just say one story, and to me, this is this is what the Reb Rashab stands for, and this is the connection we spoke to now. He spoke about V'niflinu, like when Moshe Rabbeinu asked Hashem that the Jews should be distinguished, outstanding, exemplary. And the Reb Rashab spoke about the students of Tomchei Tmimim are going to be the the the the level where "Ugi Gedolim Shegidlunu." In other words, when we look at the graduates of Tomchei Tmimim Lubavitch, we should see it should be a source of pride. Look at these graduates. Look how selfless they are. Look how dedicated they are. So, this is one story that the Friediker Rebbe says, this story is in a couple places, sometimes with different versions, but I'm reading it from one, and this is from Sefer Hasichos Tafshin Zion. This is the end of the sicha of Leil Beis Hachag Sukkos. On the the the second night of Sukkos, the Friediker Rebbe this story, the second night of Sukkot in 1946. He said in more one time the mama's and I am coming in Sukkot my mother came into the Sukkot and she wanted to take me out. In other words, the freedom of was then young what say 6 7 8. And his mother came into the Sukkot and she wanted to take him out of the Sukkot. I was English of and I fell asleep. But the Tata this is the middle of lost. My father did not allow it. And my father said let the freedom let him fall asleep let him sleep in the Sukkot. But the mama hungry from to my mother said or does it the freedom of our burning him. This is what it means that the father has mercy on the children. And my father answered a statement aim it doesn't say to have mercy like a mother and the children. Not like a father. So the freedom of wanted to say there has to be a balance. There has to be a balance so that sometimes you can't be so easy. Just mercy. Because then there's no sense of real growth resilience. Etcetera. A statement aim not of and for the Tata. My father answered the person says of our burning him. It should be like the mercy of a father. And then he said this is Tata of our burning him. This is what it means. To have the mercy of a father over the child which means that there's also the sense of discipline. And boundaries and borders call whatever you want. So my mother said it's the cold but it's cold outside. I can't call him for killing he might get a cold. And my father answered if it's not for killing he's not going to get cold. So let him sleep in the freedom of let him sleep amongst the freedom of if it's not for killing he's not going to get a cold if it's on fire, he's going to become warm. And the bottom guide with staying of day to day this. And this warmth will last for generations and the generations to come. And the feeling going to be finished that those is This is what it means, self-sacrifice for education. So, my point is that I'm just putting it out there. Of course, of course, today we emphasize more the love and and empathy and that goes without saying. But, at the same time we have to remember these points that discipline is not a weakness, self-restraint is not a weakness. Children could handle it and they have to be able to handle it. Every educator and parent has to measure it up rightly. This is no contradiction to our behavior. But, anybody who who is in education or in any field of achievement, real success, real happiness, real joy is when you feel that you can, that you could succeed, they have the tools to succeed, they have the strength to overcome challenges, that you're a winner, that you're a champion. And this is the way you just got to look at every single one of us. We're a prince. I'll just say two sayings that I once heard a long time ago that I like very much which is connected to what we're spoken speaking about. I read once that um creativity without discipline is like a car without brakes or creativity without discipline is like a blender without a top. It's the same idea. Sometimes, if a person is just left alone without any boundaries, without any borders, in the end it just comes to destructiveness. That's what happens. True strength, true success, and true happiness is only when you have these borders and you have these boundaries and then it's channeled correctly. And thank God for the material that we have that we have an issue, that we have the Torah that told us exactly how to make the perfect blend of both of these things together, and then we're much slick. Posting from my home, but as I shall be your man in Melbourne.