Tomer Devorah with Rabbi Avigdor Miller's Commentary 15 Chapter 7 Yashuv Yerachamenu God Will Ag

Shalom. We are in the middle of chapter seven of Tom Devor. We are learning about Hashem's trait of mercy called he will again have compassion upon us. Yeshua and we said that the world the physical world is built on um the foundation of letter H. Just like letter H has top one side complete and one leg partial and that represents that the person can fall through the bottom of the world. It's very easy. You have to go against the natural physical gravity which is also represented by the negative uh evil inclination that is trying to pull us down is trying to make us fall and it's very easy. There is no safe place is always pulling you down if you do not pick yourself up. If you do not put effort to go against the evil inclination, the physicality, it will drag you down. There is no way to stop it unless you put in effort. And what happens if the person does fall down? He will not be able to go the same way up. And we explain this, we can see with uh anyone who was addicted. If a person is addicted or habituated to do a certain to behave a certain way, he cannot say, "I'll be careful next time. I'm not going to do the same thing again." As soon as he is in the same situation, he's just going to fall down. He wants to climb up and say, "I'm never going to do it again." The next moment he again falls down. And whether it's with alcohol, whether it's with internet, food, drugs, whatever it is, any behavior that a person is uh accustomed to, it's impossible for him to change unless he finds another way. He cannot can no longer go through the bottom, follow the same path. It becomes like a um rails that smoothly you can go up and you can just drop down using the same rails. You have to now climb up on the side of the hay. Enter through the window and that's your only safe way. Practically it means you have to change the circumstances in your life. You cannot say I'm going to be the same person. I'm going to do the same things and things will just be better. Things will not be better unless you change the environment. You have to find a new path. And today we're on page 95. Um so he says above there is a little opening. That little opening is not easy to climb into but anybody who wants to exert himself with difficulty can climb in and repent and his repentance will be accepted. And Tom continues, "The Gamar there asks a question. Let him re-enter through the bottom from where he fell." Why is it necessary to climb in through the opening on top under the roof? The bottom is wide open. It's easier. Let him come back in the same way he exited. And the gamarra answers it will not work. Why not for the one who does teshua? It's not enough to do things and be just as comfortable as he used to be. Things will no longer be the same. Whereas a sadic who controlled himself and was in the air space of kidusha of the letter hey he can still hold himself up and not fall. But somebody who already fell it's not enough for him to just rise. That rise is going to be temporary. He will not be able to remain there for long. He will as soon as he relaxes he will right away fall down. If he wants to come back through the open bottom, it means he wants to have an easy way to do tashuva. But it cannot be easy for him. For sadikim who have never sinned, it's not easy either. But it is easier. But for the person who once sinned and much uh how much more so someone who sinned numerous times it is much more difficult and therefore he has to re-enter through the small opening at the top because for the sadikim who never sinned a little bit of self-control is enough for them. someone who never tried the forbidden fruit, he stays away for from it. He doesn't go to the area of town where it's dangerous or where people of low character abide. Um, he doesn't go to sites on the internet that he knows are bad. He just doesn't think about it. So for him it's easy. Again for sadikim a little bit of self-control is enough. It doesn't mean a little bit. It means they need less self-control. But for somebody who sent and did a little bit of self-control will not be enough. Rather he needs to impose upon himself many difficult limitations. Rabbi Miller gives example. If he spoke lashon, he has to be careful from now on to always keep his mouth closed. Someone who never spoke lashon, he's not accustomed to talking. He's not accustomed to talking about people and therefore it's going to be easy. he just doesn't do it. But somebody who already got used to talking and he has tried talking about people and he actually spoke negatively about someone. It's an easy path. Next time he sees a friend, he will naturally start talking and the conversation will naturally go to his uh friend and it will be very difficult to differentiate what is permitted and what is forbidden because his mind and his mouth are used to saying those things. And therefore he has to make certain limitations on himself that sadikim wouldn't have to make that sadic is accustomed to guarding his mouth against lashon. But this man once he has sinned in this area must now make a principle to always keep his mouth shut. Or another example, if he sinned by eating in a non-cooser place, he has to make a limitation on himself never ever to come near any such place because he knows that if he approaches he might enter and if he enters he might order and if he orders he might eat. So he should not even walk past a non-coosher place. That's an example of a limitation that he might have to place on himself. That's sadic. He can walk past non-cooser stores all day long. He's not going to be tempted because he never did it. Now, Rabbi Cordov continues, "Because that little bit of self-control was already broken through once, and once he broke it down, it's not enough anymore. That little self-control, that little fence that was there before is no longer sufficient. If he will go get close to that place again, his har will easily persuade him rather he must distance himself greatly from the place where he sinned. Now for those familiar with the 12 steps and the alcoholics anonymous knows that that is exactly the their philosophy. the philosophy that Rabbi Cordova already told us 500 years ago that someone who stumbled, he can no longer just be more careful. He has to completely distance himself from uh the temptation. And the alcoholics anonymous, they say that a former alcoholic not only should be careful with how much alcohol he drinks, but he is not allowed to take even one shot. He has to be careful that even one drop of alcohol should not enter his lips because once he tastes it, he will not be able to stop. Once in a while he will be able to stop but he cannot take the risk of starting again. Not only that, he can't even have food that has alcohol in it. And potentially, he should not even take uh supplements that have some alcohol in it because as soon as he feels the taste, his temptation is going to be so much stronger than a regular person. Now this reminds us of the uh rule in the Torah of Nazir and many sages refer to that in our uh fight against Nazir has to say I will abstain from wine but abstaining from wine is not enough. Wine used to be a drink uh that was much more common than now. It was something that they would drink every day. Due to lack of uh clean water and difficulty of preserving fruit juices, they would ferment everything they ate, whether it's milk, they would make yogurt and cheese so that it lasts longer. If it's uh vegetables, they would pickle them. If it was grape juice, they would ferment it to make wine so that it's preserved. and therefore wine was their regular drink throughout the day. So if Nazir wants to distance himself from something that he is used to, it's not enough just to say, "I'm not going to drink wine anymore." He has to distance himself from wine. He has to distance himself from grape juice. He has to distance himself from grapes. And he has to distance himself even from raisins. and even from grape seeds and grape skin. He even has to be careful not to enter a vineyard, a place where grapes grow. Why? Because in order to separate yourself from something that you are used to, it's not enough just to stay away from the forbidden itself. You have to distance yourself from anything that is related to the forbidden. And that is the advice Rabbi Cordova tells us that again someone who fell down cannot just rise up the same way. He has to find another way to get up. Now Rab Miller explains this is important information. Suppose a person had a habit of fighting with his wife. A very common habit. It's a big sin to fight and especially to fight with your wife. So he has to make up his mind that from now on he will not fight. He will keep quiet as much as possible. So that's an example of setting boundaries. Rabbi Simisel of Kelm had an old hat on the shelf. When he wanted to be angry, he said, "Wait until I put on my old hat." By the time he did, he had changed his mind already. It was a limitation he imposed on himself. So just saying I'm not going to fight with my wife might not be enough because you're used to it. Therefore, you have to set limitations. For example, get a jacket or a different shirt or even a cap and say, "I'm only allowed to speak when I'm angry if I'm wearing one of those special garments." It's a reminder for myself. It's a reminder for my wife that something is about to happen so that she can run out and hopefully by the time I go and get it, I will calm down. These things are not easy. A person who once sinned must make it up his mind to look for ways and means of fencing himself off from repeating the sin. The small space underneath the top of the letter hey symbolizes the difficulty of avoiding a sin that has already been committed before. Therefore, Hashem appreciates a baltishuva, someone who comes back because it requires extra effort for a baltishes to reach the same spiritual level as a sadik. Now, Rab Cord continues, "And he cannot enter again through the wide opening at the bottom of the courtyard uh represent by letter H. Rather, he has to raise himself up and improve himself through an alternative means and enter by means of a very narrow opening that's under the roof of the hay. And he must cause himself much distress and many afflictions to train himself beyond what is required in order to make sure that he will not repeat his sin again and to close all the breaches in his career. The Rambam says in the laws of tishua that if a person made a mistake and he went to one extreme, he has to fix it by not only going to the middle. Because if he goes to the middle, but he's used to already sinning, he will end up somewhere in between. Okay? He's not going to be a constant sinner, but he is going to be occasional sinner. Just like a piece of metal that's bent and you try to bend it back, it will end up somewhere in the middle. Rather, he has to bend his character and his behavior all the way to the other side so that when it does go back, it will go back to normal. So too we say that has to work very hard on changing his habit. Hopefully that will allow him to go back to normal. When a person sins, Rabbi Miller says he has broken through his original barriers and it's easier for him to sin again. As the Gamaras says, the breach, a break in the wall invites the criminal to try it again. If there is a breach already, it's a sign for criminals that there is an easy way. And your subconscious mind knows that there is a way to sin. and therefore it will pull you towards that breach again and again. So he has to force himself to fence himself in and close all the breaches using various kinds of limitations and boundaries until he trains himself never to repeat his sin. That's the narrow entrance under the roof of hay. Um and now Rabbi Cordova continues and for this reason because he has to be so excellent now he has to make such a big effort more than at sadic who didn't sin as it says in the place where stand perfectim cannot stand the bales are higher than theim because the bales those that are repenting did not enter through the opening of the sadikim in order to be on the same level as sadikim they have to rise higher and enter from the top so they worked much harder when we say that sadikim entered this world through the wide opening at the bottom it's Because they began without any sins. They just easily rose up from young age. They rose higher and higher and higher. And it was easy. Perhaps righteous people had good parents. They were brought up in a good environment, good education. Therefore, it was easier for them. Sometimes people say of course it's easy for that person. He grew up in a good environment in a religious community. His parents were rabbis. His grandparents were sadikim. It's easy for him to be righteous. What about me? And that's true. For some people it's easier than for others. But again, you shouldn't worry because Hashem doesn't judge us according to your level. He judges us according to the effort that it took to reach that level. And that is why we say someone who tried the sin and now has to climb back up and fix his mistakes, it's much harder for him. He's not in a good environment. He didn't have a good education. His habits are not good. And he has to break down all the barriers and he has to carry a much heavier load all by himself. Nobody is helping him. Therefore, when he does reach that level, he's going to be considered on a much higher level. His reward is going to be much greater. Whereas he continues the baleshua already broke out. Now he has to force himself to go against the new habit that they gained by permissiveness. Whatever we allow ourselves to do then later we have to work hard to convince ourselves again that it is forbidden. As the gamarra says, once a person sins and repeats this sin, he becomes habituated and feels that it is now permissible. I do this all the time. I am not even thinking about it twice. And to stop sinning, I have to break my habit. And that's very hard. He has to fight back against himself and therefore it takes more effort to remain on the same level as Sadikim. Brother Balthoua who had distress and had to go up only through the upper entrance which is very high and narrow and difficult to enter and afflicted himself and distance himself from the sin. He is greater than sadiki king. Therefore they elevated themselves and they stand on the level of hay. On the top of level hey there is a little opening that only those that work hard can enter. And that Rabbi Corda says cababalistically means the fifth chamber in Ganedan which is the roof of hay. Ganedan has various levels of excellence and the fifth level is higher than the fourth of course and because of Baleshua's extra effort he merits the fifth chamber of Ganedan something that sadic cannot reach under normal circumstances. We are pausing over here. Next time we will finish chapter 7 and continue to the next character trait of Hashem of his mercy. Thank you for joining. Have a great day.