Amazing Parenting - R. Joey Haber - TorahAnytime.com

Giants won two Super Bowls in the 1980s. They had a coach who would go on to become a superstar Hall of Fame coach. And here's what's interesting about that team, and I remember hearing this years ago. What's interesting about that team is that their best player on defense, and I'm not going to say names, was a nutcase. He was out of his mind. And he would come late to meet me and he was just crazy. He was a crazy football player also. And he could tackle people like nobody else could. But he was also crazy in real life too. And he was doing crazy things. And the coach famously said that I treat everybody the same. But he needs the way I treat him the same is by treating him differently. and that he has to I I do not allow anyone to come five minutes late to meetings, but he comes whenever he wants. Not because I give him special treatment, but because that's the even treatment that he needs. And that's how it works in any environment. If you are a teacher in a classroom and one kid feels like they are your favorite, the rest of the class has begun to ignore you and they will not listen to you for the rest of the year. If you are a parent, if you are an in-law and you have grandchildren that visibly it looks like you love them more than the others, you are doing a terrible job and there's no excuse unless there's a real need and you could articulate that need to everybody else. So if a child's buying a house and you have three children buying a house and two of them can afford it and one of them can't, don't just give them the money and call it a day. You'll have resentment for the rest of your life, even after your life. But instead, you could say, "Guys, it's very easy for you. This one is hard for. We're not making it very easy for them. We're just giving them a certain amount of money just so they could stay above water. You're still your success is rewarded because it's much easier for you, but at least we're making it feasible for them. Their situation is different and therefore they're receiving something different. But not because our love to them is different. If a child thinks that the love is different, then you as a parent are in terrible shape. And that's what Yakov Aino was thinking. What?