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How Could You? - R. Gavriel Friedman - TorahAnytime.com

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It was it was a video and he said, "One of the most damaging sentences you could say to your kid is, "How could you do that? I don't even understand. I don't understand you. How could you behave in such a way?" You know what just happened at that moment? The kid goes, "You don't understand me. I can't relate to you. You can't relate to me. I can't learn from you. I can't grow from you. This conversation is over, not only for now, but forever. You just told me yourself. I don't understand you. So if you don't understand me, how are we going to have a relationship? >> When if somebody does something wrong and we don't stop to try to get in their place or they do something right, they do something doesn't matter. I don't need to talk about the right because the right then we're communicating well, right things are going well. We're talking about where there's going to be some sort of contention, where there's going to be some sort of some sort of friction.