How to Handle Disappointment - R. Ari Neuwirth - TorahAnytime.com

This is a story takes place in Eretz Yisrael. A Yeshiva was rewarding their fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth grade boys with a trip to a water park. Very exciting. They two-hour bus ride, they arrived at the park and to their dismay there were girls in the park. There was a girl's school in the park. And they're being like, "No, we can't go in there." Obviously, immodest. So, they told the boys, "We're sorry, boys, due to some misunderstanding and we have to return back to the Yeshiva." Obviously, the boys were so hurt. They were so disappointed, they were so angry. They all got onto the bus, pulls away, and then as the bus is riding on the highway, one boy says to the next boy, "This always happens. They can never get their act together. Why did I do this? Why did I even try?" And they're all sitting in their seats, squirmish. Nothing they could say. They felt bad. They were embarrassed that this happened. One boy his name was Avi quiet boy walks up to the Rebbeim and he says, "Rebbeim, do you mind if I take the mic? I want to talk to the boys." The Rebbeim were astonished. "You? You want to talk to the boys? You're a quiet boy." Takes the mic and he says "Boys do you know what happened today?" He got their attention. "What happened today? Today is a historic day for Am Yisrael. Today is a magnificent day for Am Yisrael. We had a privilege of doing a mitzvah. You know what mitzvah? How to respond to disappointment. Yeah, we were disappointed. We traveled, we were excited, and we couldn't go into the park. And we were privileged. Hashem did his will. For whatever reasons, we don't know what the why we couldn't go into the park and why there was a lack of coordination. Let me teach you some words. Ashreinu, mativ chelkenu, umanoyim goralenu. Ashreinu, you're so fortunate. Mativ chelkenu, how great is your portion. Umanoyim goralenu, and how beautiful is your lot. Boys, you don't know the you're getting for today and the way you respond to the disappointment. It comes from Hashem. Accept it. Let me teach you a song. Ashreinu, mativ chelkenu. >> [snorts] >> He repeated it again and some boys joined him. He repeated it four times. And before he knew it, the entire bus was singing and clapping and dancing to the rhythm. Ashreinu, mativ chelkenu. All the way back to Yeshiva. They arrived and the were just wild. Couldn't believe it. As they were getting off the bus, the other bus pulls in. The seventh and eighth graders pull in. And the come off and the boys come off with also the same excitement and enthusiasm. Couldn't believe it. This was a dismal day. They didn't go on the trip. Why is everybody so happy? The said, "Did you hear what happened on the bus?" They said the story. The said, "That same story happened on our bus." Says, "Who Who Who said this on your bus?" Avi. And then a boy in the seventh and eighth grade said, "Who said on your bus?" Wait. Avi and they're brothers. They're clone brothers. We got to go to the menahel, find out what's going on here. Went to the menahel, shared the story. The menahel was amazed. Says, "Let's call up Mrs. Cohen, give her nachas, and let's find out the secret how you raise such children." Mrs. Cohen answers, tells her the story. She thanks the menahel, appreciate it. She says, "Well, well, one second. How do you raise your children like this? What's the secret?" She says, "I'll tell you. A couple of weeks ago, we were making a simcha. We needed clothing for the girls, suits for the boys. I took them all shopping. Very hot day. They behaved very well. All the way home, before getting onto the Egged bus, I told them they could all go to the kiosk and choose an ices. >> [snorts] >> I purchased ices, got on the bus, they're all seated, they're about to open it. So, wait, one second. I forgot to check the hechsher. She checks the hechsher. At to her disbelief, it wasn't the hechsher that they hold of. It had a hechsher, but it wasn't according to their guidelines. She told the children, "I'm sorry. We cannot eat this. It's just not our hechsher. But I'll tell you what, when we come home, I'm going to take out a tub of ice cream with sprinkles, and that will be instead of these ices." And the kids agreed, threw out the ices, came home, ate the ice cream with the sprinkles. A little while later, her husband comes home. His wife says, "You're not going to believe this." She says the story and says, "Oh, very nice. The kids agreed not to eat the ices without the hechsher, proper hechsher. What did you do?" "I gave them ice cream with sprinkles." He says, "That's what you did? What a lost opportunity." She says, "What do you mean?" He says, "I'll show you. Kindelach, come here. Come here." He says, "You did an incredible thing today. The way you responded to the Ribono shel Olam, the Ribono shel Olam says you can't have these ices, and you respected the decision of the Ribono shel Olam. You didn't get angry, you didn't get upset. You internalized it. Come, we're going to the supermarket. Everyone here could choose whatever you want. It's yours. It's dangerous, but yours. Come home and we're going to have a seudah." Children choose what they all wanted, they're happy. The father sets up the Shabbos table with the Shabbos tablecloth, takes out the neyros, lights the neyros, and he sits down with them, and they eat festively. He says, "Let me tell you, my dear children, my entire children, why I'm doing this. Do you understand what happened today? Today was a historic moment. Do you understand what happened in Am Yisrael today? Hashem tested you. You responded appropriately. You passed the test. Ashreinu, mah tov chelkeinu, u'manoyim goralenu. My dear children, let me teach you a song. Ashreinu, mah tov chelkeinu. That's what my husband did. That's what my husband taught these children, and this is where my children picked up on how to respond in moments that are difficult. May we merit to not only see Hashem in times of simcha, but in times of challenge and in sorrow and proclaim ashreinu ma tov chelkeinu.