Let It Become Your Identity - R. Ari Neuwirth - TorahAnytime.com

I'll explain it with a a marshall. There was once a commoner who really wanted to marry the king's daughter, but he knew there was no chance. Not only was he a commoner, he looked like a commoner. He looked beeled. He didn't look put together. He didn't have confidence. He didn't look like a noble or an aristocrat. He shows up in front of the king and says, "Hey, king, I want to marry your daughter." The king is going to kick him right out of there. He didn't even try. But he was very smart. He went and he commissioned a mask maker to design a mask that looks like royalty, like a nobleman, like a king. [snorts] And he would wear that mask and approach the king. The mask maker made a beautiful authentic real looking aristocratic mask and this commoner put it on and he came to the king's palace. King says what are you doing here? He says I have a request. I would like to marry your daughter. King looks at him. He says wow you look royal. You look like a nobleman aristocratic. Sure, you can marry my daughter. And they get married. Few years later, there was a friend, an old friend of this commoner who met him and he was so angry at him and jealous. The whole reason you were able to marry the king's daughter is because you put on a fake mask. And he went to him in front of everybody and ripped off the mask. And you know what he saw behind the mask? The same face as the mask. One of royalty, noble, charismatic. His face duplicated the mask. Couldn't believe it. Shocked. You become who you are. You could become the mask. If you wear greatness long enough, you could become great. You may not be great right now, but act it and you will become great. Now all of us, most of us go to yeshiva, went to yeshiva and we acted a certain way as a bentra and we dressed a certain way and we talked a certain way. And once we exit the yeshiva and we go into the real world, we change. We change our mode of dress. We change our behavior. We change our speech. But why beat that upra? Even though you're not in the mish and even though you're not in the yeshiva and even though you're in the workplace, act it. Put on the mask. Put on the mask of being the benra. Speak like a benra. Act like a benyra. Look like a bent tyra. Don't change it. And you'll be the benyra. Even though you're not in the B mish, even though you may be at work, even though you may be traveling, even though you may be in the office, be the bentra. Same thing with a woman, a girl. She goes to a basakov and she graduates from goes to seminary and then she goes also sometimes into the real world. Be that basel. Don't change. Keep the sneers. Keep the mode of dress that you did in Bakov. Speak like a basel and you'll be a baselik. Keep it going and it'll become real. It'll become your identity.