Instant Inspiration Elul

Do you have one of those children like I do that at the Shabbat meals they kind of just nibble here and there? They kind of disappear and have nothing to do with the chicken or the cholant or any of the other delicacies which you might be serving until guess what? dessert, what we call afters, comes at the end of the meal and suddenly they just resurface and they're ready to go ahead and satisfy their incredible appetite due to the fact that they didn't eat. But daddy comes along or sometimes mommy, usually it's dad, I think, and tells them, "No, no, no, no way. You didn't eat anything. You don't deserve to get dessert. I'm sorry. You can't eat all this. You have to go ahead." and they try to nibble a quarter of a potato out of the children in order to be able to indulge in the seven layer cake that is following after that. Well, that's the way sometimes a parent will work. Sometimes in order to get a mak to get some type of sweet and joy and get some type of dessert, you have to pass the test. Did I eat what I needed what I needed to eat? Did I already have sweets today? So maybe I don't deserve to have it or maybe I just wasn't a good kid today and therefore you don't really deserve to have deserve to have any of these afters at all. It all depends on the discrepancy and the scrutiny of the parents to a child because that's just what a parent does. as opposed to when you have a uncle, maybe a distant uncle or one that's showing up and he's at the table over there and he's got his pockets full of of goodies or their chocolates and he sees one of the kids and he's happy to go ahead and give them unscrutinized. He's happy to give one of his nieces or nephews a little bit of those treats without questioning. I was in a I was meeting up with actually my brother in a mall. We went certain there and he was and we went to a Toys R Us over here at least it didn't go bankrupt in Israel. There still seems to be a couple of them. And while his kids were waiting in line about to buy a toy, he offered to my uh two or three children that were there also go ahead and pick something out and you can go ahead and buy on me a toy. They actually didn't use I don't know if it's out of embarrassment or maybe out of that the fact that they didn't need because of course in my house I give them everything that they need not just rav but anyways they didn't end up doing it but that's like the uncle from afar who doesn't even ask the parent and kind of just offers them a free ticket to buy whatever you would like to get that is the of the famous rem that I'm sure we are familiar with of an yes again here's that reme that we're familiar with but this gives so much more so much meaning to that to that to that that secret understanding the word I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me or I am to my is from uncle also and my uncle is to me and that means that this is the month where acts like an uncle no scrutinizing ing it's all there. He lets it all out. You want just take he's not checking us in a very in a very meticulous way. He's not checking our specifics. This is the month where we can just take advantage of the amount of influence that he's giving from the higher sources. He's giving as much as he can as long as you connect to the month. Because if you don't connect to the month, you're going to lose in the next 11 months. In other words, this is the opportune dime to take because if you have it now, you will save yourself from the rest of the year. And if not, then you'll have to make up for it for the next 11 months in the year. A beautiful muscle, which I one time heard of a person who's sitting at 2:00 in the morning smoking a cigarette and when he's finished, he kind of left it on the couch, not recommended, and he went to sleep. 3:30 in the morning, a one of his children wakes up from the smell, comes outside and he sees the whole couch is ablaze. He runs to Abba and he says, "Aba, aba, wake up. Tati tati, wake up. You got to get up, Dad. The the whole couch is ablaze." He says, "Give me another hour. I got to shuff. I'm exhausted. I'm in the middle of my sleep." If you wait that one more hour, then you're going to be have to be put you're going to have to put out a lot bigger of a flame than just the couch. You're going to be dealing with the whole house. When the couch is a flame, you get up and you don't waste time. Lol is that flame right now. The couch is ablaze. If you wait and you don't take advantage of these 30 days, then the rest of the year you're going to be having to do a lot of makeup. You're going to have to make up for the losses that you entailed during this month. We had a year full of emotional blockage. We had a year full of traumas of putting up our defense systems of difficulties that we might have went through and we don't feel. That's why this month is the mazle. It's the horoscope of betula of the virgin which means it's the time of refreshing ourselves. It's a time of going ahead and we could take advantage. Many people think of Elo as doing chuva. But it's a little bit strange to say the whole year I did something wrong wrong do chuva. I do it again wrong do chuva. It's a little bit of a cycle that's almost annoying especially when you get to my age this many times. You go through the cycle again and again and again. I sin do chuva. I sin dova. But that's not what the reme says. It's talking about rebuilding a bond with a bar. The more appropriate muscle for this scenario is a couple that are kind of good. Of course, they have their ups and downs like most couples, but sometimes the therapist will tell them, "You got to take a break. Get away from the kids. Go away for a week if you're lucky, a couple days if you're lucky. Okay, go out to eat one night. Maybe take a walk around the block, please. Something. You go ahead and take some private time together and rebuild the bond. Reenact those old quote unquote what they use vows, which is a Christian expression. But go ahead and reenact that which you one time had together and bring it back together again. Take that special time together and remind yourself of the beauty of the time of courtship when you were in the original time when you love when you when that love is was in the beginning stages and of course I'm sure at this stage the affection is much closer but that rebuilding of a bond together there's nothing like it. It's incredible. It's it's has no value to to to being able to do such a step. It's a classic to be able to do such a thing. That is exactly what we're doing in Elo. We're reenacting the the vows, the bond that we have with the we're reminding ourselves of our morals, of our priorities in life because during the year we forget them. We get into a numb stage where we are repetitive. We go through the repetitions of life and we forget that sometimes we on a day-to-day basis are doing something wrong. I'm not having and to be in the mitzvah. So you're not you're not the mitzvah the the the two times a day to say you have to have when you say it. I'm forgetting my priorities in life. I'm putting 16 hours in the office and and half an hour in the BA midrash going out and learning just a little bit. When I'm a little bit not feeling well, I go to the office, I go to work, but I forget about going to the to the sh. What are you doing? The priorities are sometimes forgotten. What's with my fela? Have I completely just got into a rut and I'm missing minion or am I not having kavona at all? Like zero? I understand the whole file, the whole dominating, you're not there, but am I having a little bit? How late am I getting to minion? Am I getting to minion? Am I there by the time he's halfway through and kind of just doing like burning out fires and trying to get to where I can go? How am I treating my spouse? Have I gotten into a rut of always having an impatient ru and reason voice? Always being a little bit annoyed, frustrated, never satisfied, not showing my children the affection. Am I forgetting to give them the time to once in a while take them out to spend a little of private time with Sara or with Ara or with or or with Shira or with one of one of my children. Am I doing that in the right place? A person is to go ahead and take this time of L to make a little bit of a I know you're not going to do a lot of it. I know it won't last more than five minutes, but five minutes is also good. Take a little bit and re resurrect the dead. bring back that numbness that we have from during the year and burn out the fire. The couch is a blaze. If you don't do it now, then you're going to have to do it the rest of the year. It will affect you afterwards. We're in a time where it's not just a parent, it's the it's my uncle. He's there throwing out the treats. He took us to a Toys R Us shopping spree. Take advantage of it. You can pick what you want. Enjoy because this is the time, this is the beauty. And don't just take a shear and listen and move on to the next year. Stop and do something about it. Make one commitment. Make one change. One thing that I need to do. Don't wait till yum kipper. Don't wait till day 40 because there's a reason why kazal gave us 40 days because this is the time to get rid of those defense systems and move on and make a change. Shabbat shalom.