JEALOUSY hurts!

jealousy are we familiar with that word well it's something that I think most and all all all of us have experienced it's one of the most painstaking difficult experience that a person has and I'm going to go through the reasons why and a little bit how we can cure it but let me just tell you that already said it's better to die a 100 times and not to be jealous one time so we see already kazal understood that this is an incredibly difficult meta to be able to live with and if it's not cured then a person will never really live his true life as the the M already says that it's one of the things that are it takes a person out of this world a person sees his coworker he sees his schoolmate he sees his competitor and he sees I'm no less than this person I there's no reason why I am not as successful as this person suddenly you're working in the same company and he is put up on the ladder he's given a higher position and not me I just don't understand it I've been here longer I've worked harder I my capabilities are much better what happens it can't be suddenly a person starts feeling like a failure he feels worthless incapable doesn't make any sense why does he have more fans than I do why are people watching his stuff more than mine why is he getting more hits more than me why is he more successful why is his pocketbook much bigger than mine I don't understand the guy is known as a rich person everybody comes and knocks in his door nobody even comes to me because apparently I'm not so I'm not so I'm just not there I just didn't make it what's the reason for my failure I can't find my my my things that I'm lacking any more than he is it doesn't make any sense this kind of feeling is not just a pain in it's m a pain in because a person never ends up finding his place in this world he's always busy looking over his shoulder he always thinks that you know maybe tomorrow I'll be able to overcome and he never ends up finding any real satisfaction and the worst part about it is that it's totally out of his control I'll tell you why because he's not working on fixing himself improving himself getting himself in a better place or herself he's more busy trying to focus on the other guy can I step back can I put him down if he goes lower if something happens to him if he has some embarrassing moment and that's just absolute breath of fresh air it's a feeling of satisfaction ah now I see that he's on his way down it's my turn to be able to take over and every time you find out that he's successful every time you find out someone throws a compliment gives him a good word and you're wondering why that good word wasn't thrown your direction it's like a punch in the gut you suddenly feel that pain those those needles in your stomach and it just doesn't make any sense why is this happening to me I just don't get it what do I need to do what do I need to change how do I do this and the problem is it's completely out of your hands because in as much as I'm busy focusing on someone else everything depends on him and not on myself anymore it completely depends on his success or his failures and not anymore on my own that's a tremendous idea and a concept which like I said I think even from the best of us we have gone through and we felt at this time period unfortunately it can lead to or things that are incorrect such as going ahead and speaking tremendously about the person or trying you know in more extreme examples to try to get him to lose or not succeed or to lose his success in some way or the other many times you'll speak about ah he's really a miscan he's really a failure people don't realize where he's up to ah he has no family anyways he's not really so he's not as successful as people make him out to be you should really see what the guy looks like be behind doors nobody really knows who the person is etc etc cuz those types of comments put you more on a pedestal it makes you feel better but this is very important and we have to remember that is nothing more than it like taking an aspirin it's nice and cures for the day you might you could put on a Band-Aid but it doesn't cure the the wound doesn't take care of the problem just because I get I take a painkiller doesn't mean that suddenly I'm not sick anymore that's exactly what it is it's not a painkiller because the next day or the next week when something does happen woof it's going to come right back again that feeling will not be satiated the whole entire concept is a fallacy and as much as I'm looking over my shoulder and focusing on him then the whole idea it's an illusion you think that you're actually satisfying yourself and you'll be able to step over but it's like going to the end of the rainbow looking for that pot of gold it's not really there it looks like it's there I'm trying to get closer I'm almost there but you're never going to get there it's never going to happen and that's what mean when they say someone who has jealousy it's it takes you out of your world what does that mean cuz you're never in your own world you're always in someone else's world your focus is always in someone else's courts you're putting yourself in someone else's competition and therefore you never are able to build yourself you're never able to find your own talents find your own capabilities she's a great housewife she's got a great family fine I understand her kidss are doing fantastic what happened to mine I just don't get it where did I go wrong I tried my best I thought I married okay what's wrong with my husband he's a lazy bum she has such a successful guy he's doing so well these types of frustrations end up taking a person out of their own state of success capabilities where you're supposed to put your LZ to put your focus and to see what you can do instead of looking at someone else and taking yourself out of ol put yourself in your go into your own and see what you can do how can I use it to improve myself there is an idea in that when you look at someone else it will go ahead and add to your and what that means is instead of trying to step on the other person I will use them as a man as a way of picking myself up oh I see it can be done I use that as a stepping sto say oh it's doable I can get there as we know in the 60s there was someone who ran the 4minute mile and until then nobody ever did it but after he did it there have been since then hundreds of people that were able to do it until then it was an impossibility because once you were able to do it and see that it's possible so I can get there also I'm going to make sure to pull it off and I'm going to do it in 352 you understand that is the difference of what this is all about now I want to point out and the one important idea and this very connected to our para that we have to know that this is to everyone that's a and b how do we get to fixing this problem up how do I know even to the greatest of us because we know the focus of is about a great man by the name of AR from the man who was able to make shom within all ofel the man who was an of Isel the man that when he died everybody was M with him they sat and cried for 30 days the men and the women everybody appreciated his greatness and that's why he was we know he wore the that's the the name of on his chest with all the names of the there and we would go ahead and whenever we needed aak whenever we needed to do we would speak to Aon and the would light and it would tell us what we need to be doing and that's he was to this how was he to this and why was from all people to this the answer is is we all know that the says in when he saw mosu he was so happy he was in gleed oh my brother I'm so happy to see you and this is not just going and seeing your long lost brother this is your brother who's completely going to take over your position aren was the gor AR was thei in he was the messenger of the whole time that they were Inu ran away for till he was 80 years old for a long period of time over 60 years he wasn't around how do I know that AR was the messenger of because said sent to the one that you always sent with he's the man he's the god of theor he's the navi he's the king why me why are you going with me let's not forget Ain was was the big brother you ever look at your little brother and you look at this little cutesy kid and say don't you dare step on my toes buddy you're not going to go ahead and be richer than me I'm not going to let you be more successful than me I'm the big brother you can follow in my footsteps but you're not going to get better than me AR saw all of this and he was and listen to an incredible mid the says what does it mean in his heart more than in his mouth says the in he was so happy in his heart that he couldn't even express it in his mouth have you ever been in such a St state of Glee he had such a Sim to see his brother and the success of his brother the his brother is going to be the king his brother's going to be the gador in Torah and Mal and everything and in at that stage it could be even in the Kahuna in the Gite he was meant to be the Coen instead of AR and he was so happy he had no problem with it because he was understood that is all that matters and if he's doing and that's the r i can't be this the most exciting thing to me that should be successful that someone should be what difference does it make if it's me or someone else I'm just happy to be that this is what's able to happen over their Dar the heart that was so happy with the with the great Bounty of his brother he deserves to wear the why because he has such a love of his brother and automatically a love for all of Cl he will wear on his chest will be his this WR he will be there because of his tremendous to he saw each person for what he was he saw each person for his talents he saw each person he was able to think in the head what makes each person tick in everyone else's head how did he become a why did he have the of being a of having a good eye and seeing positive and that everybody P loved him because he loved everybody else you know why because he understood everybody every single person's individuality what makes them excited what's the what what's their individual personality what makes them tick what makes them happy or sad why are one couple acting one to the other in a certain way in a certain phenomenon and therefore he was the best therapist in the world because he cared because he cared about each individual he realized these are the bun of this is clel and everything that wants that's what I want as long as he made his like the of so that is what wanted from him and therefore he had a tremendous as we say and this is the and with this we finish when a person loves himself and appreciates that he is a b to a he begins to love other people also as bu of a he begins to understand that each individual person just because I think in a certain way doesn't mean that other people have to think in that way also and if the successes of one person happens as opposed to someone else it's well understood because gave each and every one of us our specific Channel what we're supposed to have and he becomes a to he has a good eye to each individual person because he knows that this is your mission this is my accomplishment and he realized that's fine and because of that hasm gave him one of the biggest cover that exist to be the K there's nothing bigger than that you understand he received the present of being the biggest covered because he wasn't looking to see who was the CEO it didn't make a difference if I'm not there and I understand he's there because decided that's his position and when a person has that type of attitude that type of Direction then you should know you're on your way of success just to love another person pass by you pass by a house saw once was passing by a house and he said to him B good morning and the person walking with him said the guy's not outside he's in his house he didn't even hear him say B he said I'm giving him good morning why can't I give him AA he has to hear me doing it I see mu on the door I have an appreciation that there's another Jew in the world that there's another son of AES and I love him because that's what I am a person like that won't be jealous and I'm not even talking about in this world I'm talking about he will have such a state of he will be so complacent in the place that he is he will be So Satisfied because no one else is stepping on his toes because your toes are his and his is his there's nowhere to think in someone else's Direction you'll be in and not be me into someone else's you'll be focused on your world and no one else's and really really really if you have this media you really have everything because you don't need to be chasing covered only because someone else has it you don't need to be chasing all that money only because someone else has it we all know that's a fact and most other of Ouran to see who's more successful how many views did I get how when how many how many people are are watching my whatsapps and all these types of ideas which people are always focusing on right so that would be the biggest change I'll end with a quick story of a certain person who um he he um he grew up in a kibuts which was was a very uh they say leftist kibuts which was very anti- anti and at the time this was going back approximately 50 years ago even more there was a few Rim such as shap UD litz and and baril and others without any formal organ or or organizations they used to come to these Kim and give Torah and try to be Mah people and of course they got thrown out very often because his kib were very against this boy was 14 years old and he was very marveled and interested by these person speeches and he went and he kind of snuck out of the kibo in order to figure out what uh you know what's this turret thing and he looked around he jumped around from here to there until believe it or not he wasn't and he didn't live very far from neighor he popped into yes's house he got into the cador's house and he told him about his story about what happened and he built a very close and intimate relationship with the great Rak Rak used to invite him every week for to his Shabbat table especially and he set him up in a Yesa in a beginner's Yesa and he would keep tabs of them and he would have a with him once a week at least and you would be totally in touch with the gor incredible eventually this person obviously built a family and he was incredible he became a big he's a person who knows much of by now and someone one time asked him he said from all the what happened that you got so excited and you got such a connection to to be able to get such a connection was also difficult he said well tell you the truth all the other Rim that I went to I always felt second class they spoke to me with a half an ear but they would speak to this person speak to that person R was always invested someone come would come in in the door when I was sitting and talking to him and say the you have a sheer soon okay thank you very much and he would completely continue with me completely invested in our conversation there someone come from the knesset from the parliament over here and the cessant come to say the the we have to make a decision okay when I'm finished speaking to to to to my over here he would always give me this tremendous amount of an interest understanding understanding into who I was it made me feel like a thousand bucks I just felt so important around him and as a result of that I couldn't I was totally connected to the Vibes that's the incredible idea of what we have to know we have to give that special Vibes to other people we want it give it to other people and the more you give it to other people the more you build your T eye in and you look in the positive eye in other people and you try to give it to people you should know you'll cure yourself from jealousy from interest from my own personal greed if I could say from looking to raising my my coved positions and instead of focusing on the downfall of other people I'll be very busy building on my own successes building who I am and being able to reach the potential that the great AR aen was able to do shabbat shalom