Why the Ridvaz was Crying?

R' Yaakov Dovid, who was a rov also in Lithuania, also in Chicago, and eventually in Safed. He was known as the Ridvaz. He has a piyush on the Yerushalmi, a massive talmid chacham, and a person who was charif. There he was in the shul by mincha. It was pouring rain outside, and it was cold, and his head was down, kneeled over, and he was crying. There were tears rolling down his face. One of the people in his kehilla, which was not a big kehilla those in Safed where they don't have the biggest of shuls, came over and asked the rov, he had a good relationship with him, and he said, "I'm sorry to bother the rov. I understand it's your father's yahrtzeit. So, it must be that that's why you are certain that's why you're emotional right now. But, there's something I just I can't help but ask. Your father died in his late 80s, that's A, and B, he was nifter about 50 years ago. So, where does this emotional rush come from? It just seems like, you know, unusual after so many decades. And, like I said, there was nothing super tragic happened over here, that you are so upset. What happened?" So, he said, "Let me tell you the story." He said, "When I was a young lad, approximately five or six years old, those were the days when I used to learn al vayoel, when he was approximately six years old," he says, "My [clears throat] father said that my boy, Yaakov Dovid, he's a genius. He's a very smart kid. He's a very mutzliach. I'm going to make sure to get him the best melamed in town. He's going to get the best melamed in town. But, alas, the big problem with getting the best melamed in town to make sure my Yaakov Dovid is learning every day costs one full ruble a month, a lot of money. He was the most expensive, and he was a full ruble a month, but he was there to teach him, you know, full day, half a day, and teach him all the Torah to get him on his feet. So, I learned with him month after month, and my father invested the money a month after month. There was a certain kufa a certain period of time where the did not pay for 1 2 3 months, and then the melamed came to my to my father, and he said to him, "I'm sorry. I apologize, but I have to stop learning with your son. In kol kavod, I also have to make a parnassa. You haven't paid me. I tried waiting, but it's been 3 months, and that's it. I'm sorry. We'll have to part in our own gara own separate ways. Till b'ezrat Hashem, one day you'll be able to pay me back." The Ridvaz reports, when he came home, again, a 6 7-year-old, he basically said there was Tisha B'Av in my house. It was avelus. They were sitting, and his father was like, "I cannot let this happen. My My son has to have a melamed, and I want him to have the best. He has to have that." When he was at shul, his father heard the gvir of the town, the rich person of the town, who just married is making Shabbos sheva brachos for his son. And at the sheva brachos of his son, he heard him speaking over with someone else that he just bought his son a new dirah. He was the gvir. And he bought himself a new place, and he's looking for a tanur. He's looking for an oven to be able to give him. There is a shortage of ovens in the stock in the in the companies. There's none around right now to be able to get them. Now, back then, ovens were not only for cooking. Your food, as we understand, was also the heating in the house and many other features. The oven was a fundamental part of a house. A house is human dysfunctional without an oven. In the middle of Russia, that did not have a heating device like an oven, you're in big trouble. So, the Ridvaz's father, by parnassa, his parnassa was his living was a person who used to put together and take apart ovens. He He to sell people ovens, and his job was he knew how to put together and take apart ovens. He went to the Gvir of the town, and he said that I will I I have an oven for you. I'm going to be able to give you an oven. And the price that the Gvir gave him was six ruble, which was overpriced because they were out of stock. As we know, supply and demand. He gave him six ruble. He dismantled our oven. The Ridvaz is reporting this. My father dismantled the whole entire oven in our house. And he mantled it up in this a new cute little chosson's dira, this a new flat. And he went ahead and he put together this oven in this nice new couple that just got married. He gave them the oven when we had a family of five or six kids, or whatever it was. And he did it. He got his six ruble. He said, "My father went to the Melamed and gave him the six ruble." And here he said, "Here's three very proudly with a gayut, with ga'ava. He said, "Here's three ruble for the past three months, and three ruble for the next three months. Please continue learning with my Yaakov Dovid." And he was so proud and besimcha about the event. That winter, he says, "I will never forget that winter in Russia." He said that was one of the coldest winters we've ever experienced. We did not have a tanur for We didn't have an oven for close to a year. We managed in the summer, but the winter was bitter cold. We were piled up with blankets suffering at that time period. But not one of my family members complained because my father said, "Our Yaakov Dovid is learning Torah. Our Yaakov Dovid is learning Torah." So, the Ridvaz reports, and this is said by Rav Sholom Shadrin in the Sefer Sholom U'vircha Vi'yed Gedola. The Ridvaz reports, "That's why I'm crying." He said, "I was coming here to say Kaddish for my father on the 50th Yahrtzeit, and it was cold outside in winter, and I thought maybe I'll just stay home. Maybe Mincha it's going to be a little bit hard to get out here. It was really sleety. People who know in Tzfat, on a rainy day it's rainy. It's not so it's not so friendly over there. The streets are not exactly the most exciting. They don't they don't have a good drainage system at all. Anyways, I said I thought and he said, "Oh my, I can't believe I even had a have a mean of thinking that way. What a chutzpah." And then I remembered this whole entire story the mesiras nefesh for my learning to be able to do that. And I gave myself a big patch for doing that and that's why I'm crying. Remembering the godliness of my incredible father and what we call you read it the diet and I'm not standing anywhere close to his shuls shoes. This is the beauty of what we call from a mesiras nefesh for Torah. The connection that we have that we've been able to relate to be able to have with our Torah we learn on Shavuos which is compared over and over and over again to marriage. We say Torah Shebal Peh. Moshe Rabbeinu said Moshe Rabbeinu said we are engaged to him. The minig is for a chosson to leave the chuppah and then bring the kallah in because the Kadosh Baruchu went and went out to greet Moshe to bring him into the chuppah of Har Sinai. Kaffa al Har Sinai. Hashem put the mountain on top of us like a chuppah. The whole idea of the of of of Matan Torah is a maiseh nisuan, a kesher. We are invested. We are in love. We're infatuated and therefore we're willing to even give up our ovens, our heating system. We're willing to be a little bit uncomfortable as long as it means I can stay married to my beautiful chosson. As long as I can go ahead and stay married to a Kadosh Baruchu. Moshe Rabbeinu says kallah told him the marital kallah. Kadosh Baruchu is traded Moshe like a kallah. And the chosson darshon, what it means like a kallah, just like a chazzan is excited about his kallah on the first day, hopefully more than the first day, but we said the first day. Okay, I give you shofar brochos. Right? It's like he's excited at that time, so too we have this excitement that we have during this time period. And that is the beauty of Shavuos and post-Shavuos, this understanding of being able to be moser nefesh, to give a little bit extra, to invest a little bit more, and by that Hakadosh Baruchu will reciprocate. Thanks so much.