UNITE TO HEAL Part 3

[Music] welcome ladies and gentlemen to this panel on consciousness in support of amudim we are really lucky tonight to have rav dilbert pinson i've known her of dover pinson for several years now um i would say he's probably he may be the most knowledgeable uh person on jewish mysticism uh at least people who speak english um and we have mark gober uh a consciousness author and podcast host and we're really lucky to have them both together this should be interesting um i would like to start by asking mark since i don't know you so well um where do you get your knowledge from well my background is is in business i worked in investment banking in new york during the financial crisis spent 10 years at a silicon valley strategy firm worked my way up to partner there but four years ago i was listening to podcasts and learned about some phenomena that i was not familiar with previously which some would call paranormal and that led me to start to research science around the nature of consciousness and whether consciousness is in our brain or beyond the brain or the fundamental basis of all reality and things of that nature so my information at least initially has come from looking at science and interviewing many scientists and practitioners but i'd say more recently as this four year period has evolved through meditation and through my own personal development i've had personal experiences too so as an analyst you'd call that a bottom-up approach sounds right to me okay rabbi pinson um do you can you describe what you do a little bit and um and where you're getting your knowledge from what i do is uh that's a very big question levy um first of all i try to live i think that's the first that's that's a big thing to live fully and to live deeply and to live with a deep level of consciousness um there's two there's two sources two streams of um streams of wisdom or streams of information one is the text so basically we have a living embodiment of spiritual teachers and masters throughout the years great capitalist rabbis that spoke about their own personal experiences which means that we believe that when it says about mount sinai about the torah that call golov that was a great echo that did not end is that the sounds of sinai the vibrations of sinai of the revelation is continuous and when a person evolves their consciousness into a higher level they can actually tap into that sound of revelation so it's not just information that's written on a book that's given over because one person figured this out intellectually but it's actually experiential that uh these are experiences that these great mystics and capitalists and rabbis throughout the ages have experienced in their own life and then written them down and that's one source of information i think the second source of information which is important for every person is that a person has to really evolve themselves in order to get this type of information that it's not just reading it from the text but it actually becomes a living tradition that we have a real relationship with we call in hebrew we call it a living god that our relationship with hashem is not a relationship with an idea not in a relationship with a stale idea certainly but a relationship with a god as a living god that our presence of living with the splash i'm living with the presence of god is something that should be a vibrant experiential and intimate experience that we experience momentum so if i'm if i'm um if i may interject the i would say the the basis of your knowledge is from the text and um um and then you've experienced things from there because we've gone to some of the same schools there are obviously a lot more learned and knowledgeable than me um but um you're taking a top-down approach and it's actually very interesting and let's see if we if the both of you come to the same conclusion by the way i'm lady nagle and i'm dialing in from los angeles um i'd like to jump right into a subject that may be hard for some people that have suffered traumatic experiences or um and and so much so that they're in a state where they're trying to shut things down and maybe even taking substances to shut to shut out um to shut out things in life um this concept of whatever is happening to you is not actually happening to you but it's happening for you and we have sources for this in the mission i guess it says you should say that the world was created for me everything that's actually happening is happening for your benefit um with rabbi pence would you like to elaborate on that and how that how that really works um the idea that everything is happening for you for you right so there's there's a way to come to life let's just say like this there's a way to come to life which is that you say that this is like a hebrew means that this is something just happens speaks about this laws of kindness he says that if someone says becoming alienated from life that the real way to live and to live deeply is to understand that there is there's really there's really only one now what i mean is reflected into many and it is it's reflected into the duality and the multiplicity of creation but it's a one in its essence on the level the deepest level of soul is actually connected to one so in the i think you can experience uh on a finite space level time space consciousness level where we're all in the effect of something so that's like the world of nature so in the world of nature we're all interconnected and we notice that the entire ecosystem is one system it's one it's one dimension and there's multiple aspects of this dimension but every part of this creation is interconnected and you do one thing that affects the entire cosmos but then there's another thing which is when you actually become not just in the effect of life the cause of life so i'll give you another analogy a place of the effect of life and living in the effect of life means you're just reacting to life um something happens to you someone insults you you get angry someone says something nice to you you feel good about yourself basically you know the weather is nice you feel good whenever you're reacting to life you're actually in the effect of life so then you subscribe to the world of nature you're also interdependent and you're and your reaction will have an effect but you're not causing anything [Music] creator aspect within you the the possibility to become a mashiach to become a giver you actually become the the vessel the conduit through which the divine life force that comes into this world is becoming is the cause of the effect so not only are you in the effect of creation but now you're also in the the aspect you're actually affecting creation so so that's that's what i would say that's like the two levels of the interdependency of life so the first recognition is that we're not alive we're not a that there's two foreign where one is where you're just in the effect of things and you're the fact that everyone's bad mood and every person is in a bad mood and the person's thoughts affect what's going on in the world certainly a person's through the entire creation so we have a choice whether we're going to be on the level of effect which is just like what would you say even with somebody not making any conscious decisions whatsoever the whatever is going around around them would you call that happening for their benefit and happening to them is happening for their benefit and for them how would you describe it well my short answer to that i would say is generally yes but i'll take a step back by explaining the world view that i now have based on the science that i've looked at which is now turning more into lived experience but this will be the basis for many of my answers basically the way i look at the nature of reality is um to use an analogy from a philosopher named dr bernardo castro he says it's like we are whirlpools within an infinite stream where this infinite stream is the the consciousness that is the underlying basis of all reality so this sense of experiencing that we all have that's innate in all of us that's consciousness and this idea that i'm describing here is that we are all part of a unitary consciousness but we are individuated whirlpools in a str in a larger stream so we have this sense of being an individual even though we're interconnected to the broader stream and to quote erwin schrodinger the nobel prize winning quantum physicist because a lot of quantum physics gets into these similar ideas too he said in truth there is only one mind and so this is in many ways similar to what rob vinson was saying that they're we're interconnected it's almost like we are uh dissociated aspects of this unitary consciousness and quickly the way i arrived at this idea is through looking at phenomena where our consciousness seems to exist beyond the body one in the area of psychic phenomena and this is drawing on many scientific peer-reviewed papers uh research at princeton university actually the us government ran a psychic program so tons of evidence in that area which is sort of like water from one whirlpool uh entering another whirlpool so part of one person's consciousness uh getting into another into another person's consciousness or another part of the stream this non-local consciousness that's one area of science the other is uh survival of bodily death so things like a near-death experience or children who have a memory of a life that is not their own and this is referring to research done at the university of virginia where children over 2 500 of them describe some life and their the researchers are sometimes able to find evidence that historical records medical records that align with what the child says so all of these um independent areas of scientific research suggests that consciousness exists beyond the body so it's sort of like when a whirlpool in a stream stops being a whirlpool the water flows back into the broader stream it doesn't leave the stream so if we accept this one mind view of reality this one stream of which we're individuated pieces and if we accept this idea of reincarnation which i alluded to through the children with past life memories idea and then also in the near-death experience for example if a person has cardiac arrest or some kind of physiological trauma upon being resuscitated they sometimes describe this elaborate reality sometimes it's multi-dimensional they talk about unconditional love they sometimes meet deceased relatives sometimes they see things in the room that are later verified as accurate meaning we'll get into those subjects i want to get into the subjects later okay go ahead yeah really quickly but there's a life review is something that comes up where people relive their life in a flash and they see how they interacted towards other people and the reason i want to point to that is when they come back into their body they say wait what's what matters in this life is how we interact with people and sometimes the little things are actually the big things and life seems to be about testing ourselves in a sense how can we act in a in a caring compassionate way and life seems to bring people these circumstances so that they can uh test themselves and see how well they do and perhaps the reincarnation cycle allows people to learn different lessons through different vessels so okay so so on that note let's use an extreme example and let's say there was a child that was abused as a child did nothing wrong and was abused was that for their goods how would you see that i think it's a it's a complex question i do think there is an element of karma to the extent that the human mind can understand it where something from a past life may be impacting what's happening in this life but and and in connection with that there is a potential learning from something that might seem dark from a limited perspective if we zoom out and take a helicopter's perspective and look down we might see there are some broader benefits that we couldn't understand from the smaller view ref pinson do you have anything you want to add there um yeah i mean this is obviously a very complicated question and it's a very so the answer of course is yes of course the answer is that there's some learning thing but but the answer is also no and and there's both simultaneously true and i'll give you a little analogy of a story which is the story of the balshampton that the balchemt of once after los angeles passed away there was a terrible decree there's something very terrible that was going to happen and the student the maggie of mesrich was upset at his teacher that passed away at his rebel and he's and and in his mind he said you know when the rebel was alive and while shannon was alive we get together we'd say you know till him different rituals and we were able to mitigate this decree and now that was sort of passed away and doesn't really care anymore so the shampoo appears to him in a dream and he tells him i hear that you have issues with what's what's going on he says yeah i'm very upset that you you you see this terrible decree that's about to happen and you don't really care anymore you left this world and you don't care so well says yes from my world view which we call like the helicopter view but a bigger world view when i can see the whole story i actually see it as a positive thing so the market says what should i do should i stop praying he said no you have to continue praying because from your perspective it's still negative so the moment we choose to justify abuse in any shape or form because we say oh it's you know it's it's karma and the child has to learn something and a person that's the moment we we allow that to happen in this world so therefore we have to fight any type of negativity certainly that's that's perpetuated against young people that don't have really choice we have to fight with all our possibility with any type of means that we have to ensure that this never happens to any child in the world we have to make we have in our understanding have to say this is the worst possible thing that should happen and therefore we have to make sure that never happens once it's past tense which is already it did already happen god forbid if things happen then we can talk to the child at some point in this person's life without justifying and saying what was the light what was the what was the perspective that you learned from this experience that allowed you to grow to be that person but never to justify it while it's happening because then we give we give credence and we we allow evil to survive there are times and again the reasoning behind that we don't necessarily understand in this lifetime as both of you are saying um but there are times that something terrible happens and then a person hits rock bottom and that opens a new door into being able to go to a new demand it more a higher level of consciousness that um they weren't seeking before or they never would have gotten to otherwise um and again whether it's good or bad we don't judge other people we assume everything is good right lady you can only say that to yourself right the person's only allowed to say that to himself a person can say i'm hitting rock bottom what am i learning from the experience when it's another person you're never supposed to say that that's the other person's trust thank you so mark i want to delve into another subject on within consciousness as different levels of consciousness i want to hear um how you see things um i've had some experiences myself let's say being hypnotized to be able to see past lives um and what the way i understood it was my conscious mind was being shut down which allowed me to tap into my subconscious um which was able which wasn't limited by time and space but my understanding is and again i don't fully comprehend this and this is part of why i'm asking we have different levels of consciousness within us and i would like to hear mark how you see it and also even like where they're physically located within the body so we have the conscious mind maybe the subconscious mind we have what we call in and maybe rabbi rabbi pins and we'll elaborate on this we have um the spark of god within us we have um we have a soul and there are supposedly different different aspects um and some are located in the brain some are located in the heart some are located in the lifeblood mark do you have anything you can share with us as to any of those um any different levels and then how to tap into the different into these different levels of consciousness sure so as i said i view the body as as the the vessel the vehicle for this broader consciousness and in that capacity it acts it actually acts as a limiting uh factor it's a filter of consciousness rather than the producer of consciousness so the brain contrary to a lot of popular scientific thinking is limiting a much broader reality so we only see a sliver of it and so the body in and maybe it's not just the brain maybe it's other aspects of the body that allow us to tap into different parts of the stream so to speak these different dimensions of the broader stream of consciousness and how we we can do that um there are kind of a number of areas i've seen scientifically where this occurs i mentioned a near-death experience that's an extreme case where the person's brain is completely knocked out and yet they have a hyperlucid consciousness people also talk about psychedelics in which the brain functioning is actually reduced during the time of the psychedelic trip but people talk about other dimensions of consciousness and the area where i've maybe experienced this most to a small degree is in meditation which is a way of quieting the brain and maybe opening up the filter a little bit and i've had varying degrees of experiences through that ruff kinsen um do you mind elaborating about on the the different levels within within the body i guess today um at least in jewish texts and what you actually know um in terms of the soul and where that is in terms of the spark of god or what that's considered is that is that the soul how would you describe it okay so first of all i would just say to get back a little to what mark was saying is that that there is a level where the brain is actually a jamming system where we're really our consciousness is much larger than the brain and that's why people that actually do go through near-death experiences which lately you should know because you sponsored this book just about people about the near-death experience in the afterlife which is this idea that when people go through these near-death experiences as the brain is shutting down something really phenomenal is happening you would think that people lose memory what actually actually happens is actually the reverse is people start gaining new memory that they never knew they knew because the brain is sort of like the filter that that holds onto the ego and says okay this is my narrative this is my story this is what this is this is the information that i need to have that's something that was created so most times by youth or sometimes by education and a certain type of story that we assume i'm this person and that person therefore this is information that i need and this is subliminal lead that we don't do this you know consciously that this is information i need this information i don't need the information that only are completely blocked out um and when a person is is is that the brain it's that's it's mostly part we'll call it like the left part of the brain the very analytical part of the brain the brain that's trying to make sense out of things and trying to logically define things called the habina when that's slowly quieted quieted down then higher levels of our of our consciousness which is which is the the potential of the right part of the brain which is connected to higher hamas the higher parts of the brain higher parts of consciousness become start becoming revealed so there there are there are different you know when we talk about consciousness or soul or or you know the energy of course there are many different levels and we have different words to this like nephesh we have different words for these things uh when we talk about the physical energy of the body that the body itself has like a a certain energy that's that's animated that you know the difference between a live body and an unlived body is that there's a certain animation to the body even if the body is is quiet it's pulsating with life so that's like call like the nephesh that's like the lowest level of energy we'll call it like a very low level of nephesh which exists within the body and and as you know let's say looks like a little bit differently like if the body is the is the definition of the body is connected to time and space and time the space is very absolute in the world of body the and which means that everything has a very specific time in a very specific space the level of nephesh which is like the soul and animation of the body the more soul the less time and space so when you say that a person has like you know uh you know the power to move to walk you know the fact the fact that something can walk or let's say for example difference between a stone or a plant that even though they both have a live a liveliness to them and you know a stone is all animated and it's and it's full of life you take if you really look deeply with the microscope on the stone you'll see that it's it's teeming with life but on an observable level it seems like it's a dynamic it seems like it's inanimate but then you see a vegetation which is that it's moving so it's it's moving out of its space so that's the definition of something like that which means that it's already a more expansion and then you have like an animal or something that's more alive and more sentient being that's actually moving about not only in its same locations expanding so we'll say that as a higher level of nephesh so in the same thing also within the body there's a part of the body that just allows the body to expand so that's one level of nephesh where the body is just expanding there's a part of the body which allows us to move there's a part of the body that allows us to dialogue which means to enter into your space so in hebrew this is called like the nephesh will be connected the one level the rock would be connected to another level and sean will be connected to speech which is the more i'm actually exiting my very defined space and i'm expanding my vessel to receive and i'm expanding myself that i'm going beyond the time and space that's the more consciousness the more level of soul we have so the the deeper experiences that we have when we have these deeper experiences we feel less time and space so for example even a very simple example let's say you're sitting and speaking to someone and you're really enjoying the person's company so five minutes or five hours could feel like five minutes but if you're sitting sitting with a little nick or someone that's really bothering you and you're sitting for five minutes five minutes could feel like five hours because time expands and contracts according to the level of connection that you're having and the same thing also with space like with like literally with weight if you're holding your child that weighs 20 pounds versus you're holding a bundle of rocks that weighs 20 pounds it's going to feel different the 20 pounds of rocks is going to feel like 50 pounds your child's going to feel like 10 pounds because the more connection you have which means the more you're going out of your ego out of yours out of yourself the more you exit the world of time and space the more you you enter into the into the the infinite aspect of creation of the underbelly of creation which is infinity so these are all different levels of of of consciousness that we're constantly trying to evolve now usually we'll say that you know the higher levels of of experiencing that you know you talk about meditation or you talk about prayer or davening which is like a form of meditation when you really get to the point of the peak of pr according to the great teachers what a person is saying is now god you speak through me because now i'm just completely submerged in something that's that's larger and that's that has to be experienced not just spoken about so the more we have these deeper experiences like an exaggeration that is correct like exaggeration state would be like a near-death experience or like you said also sometimes sometimes trauma sometimes you're very stuck in your ego and you get you have a very traumatic experience and it breaks down the ego and all of a sudden you open up and you or or it could be something very joyful that you know you're you're you're you're feeling tremendous amount of joy and you know there's a there's a hasidic analogy that's brought down by their child like you know if you're dancing at your daughter's wedding and someone steps on your foot you're not going to feel that pain as much as you're sitting on the train someone steps on your foot because the more you're you're connected the more yichur you have the more connected activity you have to something that's beyond you the less you feel time and space so these are all different levels you know there's many multiple multiple levels we can talk about but they're all just their oldest they're different grades of consciousness which at the ultimate peak is the level of um the highest level of soul which is paradoxically something that you would you would think it's the it's the collapse of self in something larger but the truth is that it's actually my uniqueness within the uniqueness of the creator which is the idea is that the the ultimate objective of life is not the disappearance of self the ultimate executive life is not is not the disappearance of ego but it's the transparency of ego the ultimate objective is not to become nothing but it's to become something and nothing simultaneously to truly be my full self as as as a complete expression of my hoodius of my individuality with the recognition that i am this individuality is an expression of the ultimate individuality the ultimate eye of the creator expressed within every single eye of creation [Music] a lot of children just do it the original originally just to get a taste like you smoke a cigarette behind your father's back you smothered it but this is stuff that doesn't let you alone once you start with it it's the boss and basically it's a problem that is constantly a problem will be a bigger problem but for that we need an organization like this to take it head on to be able to tell the people yes we know that you failed you know this that but there's no such thing as a failure the only thing you have to do is learn when you hit bottom learn how to get back up on top that's that's what this organization's about [Music] so mark as a spiritual junkie i'm going to ask you how would you get to that what would be the easiest way to get to that uh state um without using external substances in your opinion well i'm trying it myself um and i i left my firm about a year ago and didn't have a plan for what i was going to do next and i ended up going on two silent meditation retreats earlier this year right before the pandemic hit one was six days one was five days and that really kicked off a meditation spree where i'm now meditating five hours a day since it's been since february i was up to ten hours at some point and i'm i'm basically doing what ralph pinson was saying without saying the actual jewish prayers but the intention of the meditation is this desire to basically surrender to be embodying the broader stream of consciousness intelligence within the vessel and to be this nothingness but uniqueness at the same time that's the best way i can describe it with words because this is all happening in the silence um so for me it's taken just a lot of practice because i'm a very mental person and i wasn't like i wasn't interested in any of this stuff before i couldn't meditate for 15 minutes a year ago but i found through this process there is a a a palpable energy that comes into the body which is now increasing and entering different parts of the body that have come about through this process of silence and surrender so my from my own personal experience i would say that meditation and having this general life intention whether it's in meditation or otherwise along the lines of what rob pinson said is a way to get there let me let me ask you this because i'm not supposed to be one coming with with the answers but um would you say when you're using external substances your first eye is probably your highest high and um within at least okay i found within spirituality you can keep going it's like unlimited um the way you're describing is you're trying to reach nothingness but there's there's an unlimited level of of that um that you can keep going and and every time you're getting to a higher high would you would you see that to be the case well my sense is that it's it's the process is infinite there is no final end point but there is a constant striving to optimize our utility as a vessel that's the way i put it for my own experience that i want to be the best vessel i can be and then that in turn leads to different experiences i mean sometimes the experience is less transparent and less obvious and other times i i feel it more but i in the course of researching other people that have been through this journey i think there can be a tendency to want to latch on to the experience itself to say that i felt so much bliss or whatever and now i've arrived and then that can lead to an attachment to a state which is almost counter to the process itself so really for me as i said before it's about the intention of why you're doing it and then the states will be what they're going to be because really the individual is in is not in control of the ultimate state or high that's experienced um i just want to go back a little bit and i know this is a little technical i was asked to be on this panel yesterday um then they gave me your name and i looked you up on youtube and i saw you talking about something and you said something very interesting um to me at least it was and i don't remember what you were referring to but you you spoke about the brain as being a filter which i understand that to be the case too that at least the conscious brain that we're calling conscious brain um and then when you shut that down or whether it's through hallucigenics or through meditation you're basically you're you're slowing the the um the brain the brain function and then you're able to see more things um or experience more but you mentioned something that is there is something within the brain or within the head uh what were you referring to something spiritual or something um did you call it the soul i don't know what you called it but you said the location was in the head well some scientists speak about the pineal gland known in some traditions as the third eye and i know in the trade in the jewish tradition there is um the tefillin goes on that spot as well so some people say that that is an area that kind of connects the body to the spirit and and some say that the chemical dmt which can be taken externally as well ingested but it's also released naturally by the body which connects to these other realms of consciousness so i would say from my own experience one of the first things i felt at the first med silent meditation retreat three days in i started to feel pounding right here and i didn't make anything of it at first other than why am i feeling pounding in that spot and we were at a it was kind of a non-denominational buddhist retreat center that we were at and there were statues of of people with a dot there and i said oh wow that's the third eye pineal gland that everyone was talking about so i haven't been able to correlate that with experiences yet you know other dimensional experiences beyond the fact that it starts pounding certain times rav pinson i you see i was always left to believe in the shama the soul is in the heart but i think in the tanya it says something about the either the nasham or the is in the brain um do you know what yeah can you elaborate there so basically the yeah the time here basically because it's talking about the difference between the animal soul and the divine soul so once they give an analogy of where where where is it within the body is the part that's most connected to the vitality of the body which is like what the the heart distributes the blood so that's like very visceral very very mundane that's like what you know like it's the life force that's pumping through us so that's that's connected to the beneficial bahamas that will be connected to like your animal soul again that's not a negative thing it's just it's the ego that's survival you know it's healthy to survive um and then there's the capacity of the brain where the the brain allows the possibility on some level it's not the highest level of soul the la the brain is sort of the ultimate medium that we have and experientially that allows us to enter into another person's space we can think how i can think how you're feeling i can think how you're thinking so that idea of me entering into your space is already a movement outside of myself outside of my ego so that that by definition reads already an expansion i'm ready i'm moving to a higher dimension where it's not just about circulating my blood for my survival but i'm able to identify with your problem so if you're going through a hard time i can think it through with you so that ability to enter into another space is really just another way of saying that there's a higher potential within the person so so the altered natanya is trying to explain that where would that be within the body where is that where we fly within the body a capacity to be outside the body that's in the brain so which part of the brain exactly you know again this the pineal gland and dmt all this type of information so there were a lot of philosophers like descartes and people that actually believe this um in in the hasidic text there's definitely mention of different parts of the brain um and there there are different parts of the brain and one is connected to the right part of the brain left part of the reaction correct the the frontal lobe is connected to das which is the connect and the connectivity to part of it and then the case like the crown of the head so there's definitely um you know we don't really know the brain we have a very little amount of knowledge of what actually the capacity of the physical brain is that's one of the untouched places of research of research it could be eventually we'll actually find that and i do believe it's it's true that it has to be some place within the body where there's there's the everything has we'll call like a everything has like an in-between state where it's not that it's not the other but it connects things so everything in life is like that so there has to be a space within our within the physical self that allows us to have access to something that's outside itself so what part of the body would that be that would probably be in the brain that's what the altered was saying that the part of the brain that becomes so it's not just only a metaphor but it could be that it's that that's the interactive the in between space that allows for something higher to come through that he's referring to is in the brain is that what he said yeah yeah there's no but you know i just want to say like this like you know we talk about the shama it's like it's a big word um soul it's a it's a very big word and there's many different levels of soul and and we mostly identify um when we talk about soul or like we talk about experiences we identify things with their experiences or the or the feeling but the truth is that the soul is really is the backdrop it's the experiencer it's the feeler it's not the feeling and it's not the experience but our minds cannot grasp the experience itself because the mind is the experience the brain is the experiencer or the higher level of consciously experience but it can grasp itself because because then itself is an experience so the only way we can actually like really get in touch with our soul is actually to to feel ourselves as watching ourself so that's why in in in the czar it says that it says the word das which is like the frontal part of the brain which is connected probably with the pineal gland or the third eye that das is actually da is actually in reverse is aid which is witness so it's like the witness self the part of self that observes self and that's not that's the self that's beyond the self and so there's there's multiple layers because as you're going deeper into yourself you say okay that's the part that's watching myself and then you have another voice to say and that's the part of me that's saying to myself that's watching myself so there's kind of there's layers and infinite layers of that all that that consciousness right there there are certainly multi layers and that i know from first time experience and again i'm i'm not anywhere close to any of your levels um but it is also it's very interesting that a lot of these things were taught to us and they went right over my head like for instance one of my favorite books is the the power of now um if you have to put it down into two lines it's probably that uh he's worried about the the the conscious brain becoming instead of becoming a tool taking over and then focusing instead of being present worrying about the future or worrying about the past and that's where all anxiety comes from but we have a saying from the ebenezer which was a thousand years ago and it's made into a song um so we have all these we have these teachings in judaism um but what but it's just we don't necessarily experience it and then when people like mark come along or um or or other new age um teachers they they they they they i guess they allow us to experience and understand what it was that the the great masters were teaching that you know just went over my head maybe you were able to pick it up over the years through the text but most people most people miss it within our community um i think you know i mean i mean the lady the very simple answer to the reason for that is very simple because because it's it's it's it's massively it's it's it taught to the mass so when you teach very deep spiritual teachings to to to the mass you you you put in the most you dumb it down to the most simple form and you give people just the words and then the people you're supposed to ask the question like what am i actually learning what does that actually mean and and then you have to like internalize that so okay so you get the information and and school is is and unfortunately all schools are like this school is a very good place where people learn information but they're not teaching people how to live and and what that's part of the maturity when you take the information that you learn we say okay so what did that information mean these are teachings that are actually represent experiential experiences not just information because information is just information who cares and then yes okay so what is that what does that really mean to me so part of why i was bringing all this up is because i i think it's important for everybody to realize there's so much more to tap into even in ourselves not even in ourselves just in ourselves we could spend a whole life lifetime tapping in and you know and and it could be so enjoyable and we don't have to chase anything else um the mark where would you say the gut instinct comes from well to me everything is derived from this unitary source the one mind the one stream of consciousness so all all novelty all knowledge all creativity intuition it's seemingly coming from that one place and we are the vessel and receiving it in however manner we do that whether it's through the brain other parts of the body i don't think it science understands properly how that works so creativity gut instinct and everything and everything else you're saying we're just tapping into this larger uh consciousness that's not within ourselves necessarily we're just a part of right it's more like memories knowledge those are things that we tap into using different aspects of our anatomy and likely the brain is very involved in a lot of that but it's it's not housed in the brain but rather the brain and the body are mechanisms for tapping into this stream of consciousness and if somebody wanted to tap into one thing versus another let's say to their gut instinct or to creativity or to anything else do you have techniques that you would recommend yeah well there are lots of people have many techniques for how to do things like this there are some in the psychic realm certain types of meditation to be able to tap into different whirlpools in the stream or you know things that are far away in space and time i think meditation generally is is a way to do that but the type of meditation might lead to different aspects of it um i think there's also a trial and error aspect where something might seem like an intuition and then you might act on it and realize wait a second that was just my ego or some some part of my overthinking that actually clouded out the the real insight so it's something that i still work on where i feel like i have an intuition towards something but maybe it didn't turn out to be right but now that i think about it the number one um signal for me that i'm on the right track at least in my own life is passion when i feel like i need to go towards anything and and like there's no question about it i've learned that that is me tapping in somehow because usually when i'm following that passion and not in an unbridled manner and not hesitating it works out well i'll just say lady like this um first of all i would say what you said about the high so the altera one said that if the sinners of the world will know what kind of pleasure they can experience when they have dracus with hashem they have unity with hashem they will leave all their uh their passions for everything else yes they become great sadiq because that's that's the pleasure that's the physical pleasure the person has a sensation of pleasure throughout the body now regarding the gut feelings and creativity i think it's a it's a larger conversation but i just want to say very short that not every gut feeling is correct i do feel like creativity does come from a very it's it's quite a muscle there's a very potential letter we can be creative it's very distinct every person has a creative ability we are part of the creator that gives us the creativity ability but when it comes to like a voice that tells us something do how do we know if the voice is real or not so first of all you have to really know yourself and and that's that's like a that's that's a process so like trial and error really to understand who you are but there's also a very simple parameter how to know when a voice is true so there's a there's a famous story in the talmud in gemara that talks about a character called he became a great sinner and her mayor was a student says you know you should do chivas he says i heard from behind a curtain it was a great mystic he says that i heard sasha banana i heard a voice that says everybody can return besides her so i had i had a very deep intuition deep gut feeling and i heard this voice that came out this heavenly voice that said that everyone could do better everyone could return everyone could be could could change their life besides me so therefore there's no there's no use so he hears the bosco he hears a divine voice it says this so the balshampton says that this is a basketball of clipa it's a it's a negative voice because any voice that tells you you can't is negative any voice that says you can it will work out it's going to be good is a positive voice any voice that says it's not going to work out it's you know doubts yourself and puts puts you know uh it's impossible and says you're never gonna you're never gonna amount to anything you're always that you're never gonna reach any level all those negative voices that put you down and doesn't allow you to grow and to be something and to be your your maximum most all those voices are negative so i would say like how do you know if a good voice is correct that a good gut voice is correct have to see this voice actually allow me to become more to be a bit a better person the better to be more connected with hashem is this voice allow me to further things or is it putting me down it's putting it out it's the voice of clip but don't listen to it shut it down and move on so i'm on the um on the subject of reaching higher consciousness you have people that are you know you'd call asleep they're just focused on the details in front of them um and reacting to that and then um there's sometimes something happens in life and that opens your mind to um to that there is more out there and then you become curious and you start searching and start actually experiencing and then you realize that that is the greatest pleasure mark would you say um that you can one can wake somebody else up or does that have to happen on their own just the beginning of that journey does that have to happen does something ex something have to happen to that person on their own or can another person wake up uh somebody that's what i'm calling to sleep yeah well i've thought a lot about this question because it's informed in my own personal journey roughly four years ago i didn't know much about any of this became very passionate and since then i've ended up writing two books and doing a podcast series and doing lots of talks on this topic so when i first learned about this stuff it was just i was curious to learn because my worldview shifted i used to think consciousness comes from the brain that's how conventional science teaches us there's no real meaning to life um the universe is random when you die it's over that's it and then i learned maybe that's all wrong mark that there's a lot more we're interconnected that consciousness is beyond the body and i wanted to tell as many people as i could because this had a major impact on my life and how i prioritized things and the way i i just looked at life um so for me it ended up the way out of disseminating information is to write books and give talks and do podcasts and what i've learned is that people have to be ready on their own um forcing people does not work very well so what i've tried to do is make the information accessible and provide resources for people so that if they are interested they can pursue it and there's a fine line between doing that and being pushy and trying to force a belief system so i i really try hard to present the information for those interested and usually when i have one-on-one conversations or even in a room i can tell who is receptive and who is not and when there's a lack of receptivity or a wall there it's usually best to kind of back off but when people are receptive at that point it can one can i think initiate or potentially expedite someone's awakening by providing certain information like certain things i'll notice a light bulb goes off in a person's head and then it's really their journey but it's like we're all guiding each other towards this evolution and we play different roles yeah i do think generally a person has to be ready and it's it's just the openness i don't even know if a person needs to know what they have to be open to they just have to be open to the possibility that there's something different because when we're stuck in our own narrative of what the world view is and we're holding to on it very dearly and we're protecting it no matter what happens in the world nothing's going to change uh no matter you see you see kriya you know you see the sea split there's a there's a famous mattress that says that uh that shift that that even the maidservant of israel saw more than the great prophet of ezekiel by the splitting of the sea so the obvious question is why call her a maidservant she's the greatest prophet she's greater than the husker the answer is because she's still remembering the main servant she actually she wasn't affected she saw but she didn't even know what she was seeing she wasn't open to see it so if you prepare yourself and you're open to the experience then you you can become something and you can actually experience something but if you don't you know the word the second split in front of you and you just don't notice it so i think yeah there's there's a need to there's uh there has to be some type of opening some type of you're gonna small open even something even a desire justice of the possibility of something so on that note um you know the term mitzvah the the which refers to the commandments the 613 commandments um the kabbalah explains that mitzvah is milasana mitzvos in the root word of connection and we're connecting to god and it does explain that we're connecting to god in a higher level than the way he permeates in this world and therefore um we really can't most people cannot feel it unless they're really a righteous person that have no blockage no sin blockage so to speak um so most most people doing the missiles do not actually feel the connection my question is who are you actually helping by doing the mitzvot you mean if you're doing without intention that's what you're asking even with intention it's it's more it's by definition either forced or robotic because if you're not feeling the connection what are you actually accomplishing by doing the mitzvah so there's some there's some there's an idea also okay i'm not talking about the the you know the halal parameters of you have to do a mitzvah whether you know it's unluckily required for me to do it and we have to do it no matter what i'm just talking about like you're asking about the opening like a feeling of the connection so this idea that that that sometimes actions that's actually a path to openness so sometimes a person is working from from a top down idea so i'm going to open up my consciousness and open up myself and try to like you know dial them correctly or pray whatever whatever the practice is but it's like more an internal practice so i'm going to be open therefore i'm going to start feeling it that's one path but the other path sometimes is let me just do these actions at least at least with the intention that they should they should do something and the actions themselves by the recognition that is an action that's that is connecting me to the divine the hope that eventually opens up the heart that that your consciousness opens through the actions himself by doing the actions so it follows your mind follows your actions so instead of the actions following your mind your mind follows your actions so i believe that that even if a person is doing something by rut but they're doing it over and over again with a serious commitment to that to that sort of that creates the space for the opening to occur besides the fact of the logic requirement that you have to dimitar because you're commanding but that's that's a separate issue but the idea of the mitzvah as they feel that connection you know a lot of times i would just say in general like just the fact of of doing things in an absolute way you're just doing it because you're you're you have to do it and even if you feel like you say that you feel forced that in itself already creates the possibility of something higher than you that's commanding so when you live your life you say okay i'm a very selfish person i like to do things the way i want to do them i want to do them always because this is the way i feel i don't feel i'm feeling it i'm not feeling it and then you say but you know what for these 10 minutes a day i'm going to do something despite the fact how i feel or i don't feel that in itself is saying that i recognize that there's something more than my ego there's a recognition that there's something higher and the more i believe in the absoluteness of that idea the more i actually connect to that absolute so sometimes the the kabbalah soil this the rot just doing it by accepting it that actually shows to me and allows me to open myself up to something that is actually larger than me so it's it's specifically what i don't understand in a way that actually really opens me up and i'm not stuck in my head we i see that the hour is up as you say you know when you're having fun and you don't realize what time it is um could either of you or both of you um maybe to end this do some give give us some technique but actual to give us an actual experience maybe even for somebody that's just ready to open up something that you can share right now that someone can do can do at home when they're watching huh i love you how long mark do that you let mark do that yeah well for me it's it's really began with curiosity and asking questions and not assuming that i know everything and rob pinson was alluding to this this idea of openness i think that that comes and stems from humility the understanding that in a human body with a human brain there's only so much that we can understand and we can only understand things in a certain way like you know the concept of infinity we acknowledge that it exists but our brain can't comprehend or grasp what that is so when we start to break down how much we don't know in life then we realize that what we think we know might be leading us astray so to have that openness that mentality that doesn't mean to believe everything we hear but the the humility i think opens doors and it opens doors spiritually but also in every aspect of life that's come on it's great that's called old style cabal assault that's what i say just accept do it just be open to more exactly you don't have it all figured out yeah that was great i think that's a great note to end on and thank you both very much thank you i'm a demon thank you all for tuning in have a great night [Music] so [Music] so [Music] so [Music] yes so so [Music] so [Music] unite to heal a 36-hour livestream benefit for amudim 36 hours 36 events over 100 top leaders and entertainers all to benefit amudim an organization that's there for us for the children adults and families in our community worldwide every single day of the year unite to heal begins with you and we're counting on you to get to the five million dollar goal by tomorrow night it's a 36 hour event we are already at just under 200 000 thanks to all of you who've already donated and we're looking to get to 5 million by tomorrow night so as you watch and enjoy all the information and all the entertainment and all the great panel discussions remember the key is to be there for amudin hit the donate now button on unitedheal.com and be as generous as possible the ceo of amudin is rabbit sv gluck good morning rabbi gluck i'm sure you're very excited this morning because often you've turned to the community for help and there's no reason to think that they're not going to come through this time as well um good morning nacho thank you so much i am very excited and i'm also very nervous i'm going to say it straight you know this last eight nine months has been difficult for everybody and in particularly as far as funding is concerned for amudhim with an increase of caseload and the need for more funds so i'm really hoping and praying that today we're going to see the same that we that we've seen in the previous years that you've helped us with so a couple of things we should point out to everybody the first thing is this is a unique event you've had great live stream events in the past we did a wonderful one last year but this one has taken months to prepare and it involves a whole bunch of incredible people from around the world what makes this 36-hour event different so first of all i wish it was months to prepare i have to give a very big thank you to yamiche and the entire crew at charity bids for really pulling this off in less than six weeks so should have taken months what makes it different is we were really looking to accomplish two things at once number one is the world isn't turmoil and a lot of people are struggling we wanted to find a unique way to give people some positive vibes some good entertainment some things to enjoy while at the same time giving them the understanding of what amudham needs and that is why this is so different because it's not just like what we've done last year where we just spoke with you know survivors and victims and people that we've helped and some political leaders but it's really taking it another step that's going to be for tomorrow but we're taking it to another step and it's really giving people and the beauty is these segments there's something for everybody yeah so there's a lot to take in a lot to enjoy no question about it and um we should also mention that amudim has become an international organization some people may find that hard to believe but you're literally helping people not just in the us and israel but in 40 countries around the world and all of this has become even more difficult to do in the past year now in a couple of minutes we'll be speaking to your staff members who've been on the front lines of what it's like to fund and to clinically help so many people through this whole covet situation but just explain to everybody how this blossomed into an organization that's helping people literally around the world um it's really three words word of mouth it wasn't advertising it wasn't marketing it wasn't looking it was just people reaching out from everywhere and us trying to find a way to fill that need and fill that void and there's currently clients and over 406 cities around the world that we are helping and and it's just you know i'll tell i'll just say it straight i just take a moment and reflect and think how many declines of grindelwald must be looking down from shamayim and really just chopping nachos on the over eight and a half thousand people that we've helped since inception and the over 3 500 this year alone it's it's been beautiful and i just want to say it doesn't mean that there's that many people with problems which there are but it means a positive thing there are that many people that are prepared to reach out for help and that's beautiful and you've uh you've mentioned that he was the one that really encouraged you to go international and what a tribute this is to his memory uh rabbit sv luck you'll obviously be on many different segments that are going to be happening over the next 36 hours and of course our big live event that will wrap things up tomorrow night i know you join me in encouraging everybody to please donate it's a five million dollar goal it's attainable certainly but it is very necessary five million dollars is not something that is just a made-up number it's a serious number that will add to a an already larger budget than that an annual budget that's even larger than five million dollars so please give what you can unite to heal.com unite the heel dot com click on the donate button and be as generous as possible everybody speed luck i thank you more coming up as we continue here at unitedheal.com i do remind everyone that there's 36 hours 36 events and over 100 top leaders and entertainers are going to be part of this incredible broadcast it all culminates tomorrow night in our live event from right here after 34 and a half hours we will gather together and we will ask you to really wrap this thing up in as grand as a fashion as possible uh devorah pearlman is the cfo of amudin thanks for joining us good to have you here and miriam lankrie is the clinical director from amudim thank you very much for being here as well miriam we'll start with you you have seen it's now december you have seen over the last 10 months i am sure a big increase in your department what's it been like trying to help everybody clinically during all these months of covet good morning thanks for having us it's so nice to be here it's been really overwhelming that's the truth there's been a tremendous increase in the amount of callers i have to say that my my clinical staff my clinical case managers rose to the occasion incredibly they everyone we all have to work from home sv glock has it set up that our phones our computer systems everything is able to be remote and that was a blessing i think he took that on several years ago he wanted to make sure that if anything ever happened we would be able to do this so so we all were working from home the the staff rose to the occasion we even had to hire three new people during this time period to be able to to be able to uh service everyone during this time and handle all the the calls that were coming in we set up a hotline just for covid that now fortunately we were able to close so that people who didn't need amudham services per se would be able to would be able to just get on the phone and talk to somebody just i'm really stressed out all the kids are home um you know i haven't been able to go to work i there's no just a professional on the other end of the line to speak to them and and help them with their stress assume that every department that you lead every type of situation that comes across you has every one of them increased during covert i guess some more than others but did all of them increase in terms of the number of people that you have to service in each department yes absolutely all the areas required more schools were reaching out because students teachers were more stressed out about having to do zoom school the case managers were getting much more calls all the different areas of amudhim had a big increase in volume the situations that arise from families being cooped up and i'm sure people can you know think on their own of some of those types of situations those obviously became very very filled with tension sure and uh your phone kept ringing our phone kept ringing and you were there to help people out yeah um so covet 19 has really increased the caseload has increased the work and obviously has increased the need for people to support amudin and that's why we're asking everybody to please be as generous as possible today unite to heal.com be as generous as possible by clicking the donate button uh dvorah perlman is here cfo of amudem well that's a good segue i ask everybody to give money i ask everybody to be generous and you are the person who is responsible to uh to deal with the finances of amudhim as responsibly as possible what has the last 10 months shown you in terms of the work of a modem in the need for financial assistance well um you know as miriam mentioned our case volume has increased so tremendously and um we really um our case managers at this point are so bombarded with work we really you know even though we did hire three new staff members we really are looking to bring on even more help to help with additional cases that have been coming on um we also have a long waiting list of clients that are waiting for help with support for therapy subsidies and unfortunately we we haven't been able to help them as much as we would like to and that's really one of the things that we're really hoping to get from this event today is to help raise funds so that we could help our clients get the help that they need you know a lot of people might think that achieving the goal is going to make your job easier the reality is that thank god the more money comes in the more people like yourselves are able to service those in need in the community and and you won't have to hopefully make too many decisions about where the money goes hopefully it'll be enough to fund all the different departments uh that you have with amudim so again everybody unite to heal.com be as generous as possible um so miriam is there one department that you could explain to us has been unfortunately exploding with cases at this point is it in fact cases of domestic abuse or things like that that arise from very tense situations at home over the last 10 months uh so it isn't one it's an increase in all the departments uh unfortunately uh like you mentioned domestic violence uh people who are cooped up at home or are being told you can't leave the house because it's dangerous you can't reach out for help are a much higher risk right now people who may have actually achieved sobriety and no longer suffer from addiction the way that they used to without access to meetings or with the increased stress are struggling much more again people being cooped up with you know victims who've been cooped up with perhaps with uncomfortable situations at home have to find solutions creative solutions to get to to feel safe has your staff had to deal with situations they never had before like are they are they being introduced to uh scenarios that they really did not see in the regular work of a mood them in years past yes definitely there we we came to situation you know especially around this whole kind of broke perm time and pesach people were in situations where they were stuck at home and most of the time people i've spoken to people directly who said usually i can go out for a meal i can leave i can find an escape room if the tension in my home gets too high and now i can't do that i can't go to people i'm stuck at home with people who i'm not comfortable with and it was quite stressful we were able to i'm not sure if i'm allowed to say this but we were able to put certain people in in safe environments without giving too much detail for people who really had no other choice and that was something that really helped people who had no other option then on top of that financial strain that families went through even families who thank god are peaceful families that can get through a juntas together without any issues in baruch hashem there are many there are many yes but the financial strain that this past year has had on everybody just increases all the different problems that families can have yeah i spoke to a relatively young man a father of four community asking involves with a hat solo type organization volunteer he called really at his wit's end saying i'm i'm collapsing and this is somebody who no one would ever imagine was struggling and i i spoke to him for a long time and helped him you know get to therapy in his community and after a few weeks he he let me know that things things were better but the stress the financial stress the the pressures you know normal everyday pressures being a hazel type member seeing you know tremendous tragedy as well the combination of everything was overwhelming and he needed help and and i was so glad i let him know that he was strong for reaching out because when you reach out for help that's that strength you can do something about it suffering and silence until you explode is not a solution devorah tsv and you have to make tough decisions that people come to you with cases that you know where someone would be better off in a rehab center someone would be better off being put in a safe space as miriam described but all that costs money all that you know requires finances are you sometimes put in a position of making tough decisions just based on what the organization can afford unfortunately yes unfortunately um you know the financial situation has affected not only individuals but our organization as well um many of our supporters are not in the position to support in the way that they have in the past and unfortunately we have many clients who um you know are not able to to afford the help that they need and although we would love to to help everybody immediately some of them are either not getting the ideal help that they need or they're unfortunately on a waiting list waiting for this campaign to be able to help them uh mood is helping a lot of people every single day and the point that devorah just made is so vital and that is that there are people who are in need of help but sometimes the funds are not there on top of that there are donors who've been very very generous over the last many years who are not able to be as generous so those of you who are capable those of you who've been able to hold on to your jobs who've had very successful 2020s and there are a lot of people watching right now have had really successful 2020. please go to the donate button on this website unite to heal unitedheal.com be as generous as you can and be one of those people that really can make a difference we love all the small contributions they're wonderful and they add up to a lot of money but those of you who are capable of giving it a much higher level believe you me that money is going to be utilized very very well uh devorah i'm sure you join me in asking everybody to be as generous as possible and when we say five million dollars that's not even your annual budget when we use the goal of five million we're talking about a percentage of what amuddim really needs to get through an entire year yeah yeah our our our budget is even larger than that and um unfortunately or unfortunately our our budget keeps growing every year um you know just like maria mentioned our case our case volume every single year since our existence has just grown tremendously and it's definitely a challenge to keep the fun you know for the funding to keep up with it do you have a lot to do miriam with the international aspect of this are you sometimes advising people in other countries that this is the type of person or professional you need to go to or the type of people you need to bring in for a certain situation um i technically i supervise the israel branch they call me they know of course the people on the ground better but they they reach out to me and i i supervise them as well i i've spoken to people in mexico argentina in chile i've i lived in chile for several years so the i and i learned spanish while i live there so i get a lot of spanish colors uh england and and europe in general as as far as china and australia people have reached out to woodem between depending on the time zone sometimes we'll send it to the israel office to manage but as a general uh notion of what type of therapy people should go to and what they should look for uh yeah yeah we're supervising all over all over the globe right now so you're one of the reasons that i moved them so successful internationally internationally yeah the language helps the fact that you're in touch with every country helps as well yeah uh i want to thank devorah perlman cfo of amudham i want to thank miriam lankrie clinical director from from amudem and i know that both of you join me in encouraging everybody to be generous and help you continue to do your amazing work thank you so much a pleasure thank you very much everybody out there unitedheal.com you know what this is it's a 36 hour live stream benefit for amudham 36 hours 36 events over 100 top leaders and entertainers the website is very simple unite to heal.com and it begins with you unite begins with you and right now we're just at around two hundred thousand dollars of a five million dollar goal which will culminate tomorrow night with our big live event in the interim you have 36 events to watch and be part of and you have the ability to donate and to help our mood them get to their goal we want to make this as successful as possible we want everybody out there to literally make this a successful crowd funding campaign we want the entire crowd all of you to be part of this please support amudin use these 36 hours to share the information with your friends to put all of this on your facebook and twitter feeds and to make sure that people enjoy what they're watching and at the same time give to amudin the work of amudim somehow over all these years has become so vital in our community worldwide and now we look to you all of you watching from around the world to be as generous as possible unitedheal.com recommend the site to everybody out there and make sure to give as generously as possible the donate button is prominent on the site as you can see unite to heal.com we have 36 events and you're about to see a a really excellent sample of those events there's a a piece done by simcha and the maccabeats entitled motiva our own reimagined it is brought to you by our friends at charity bids who have done such an incredible job a yeoman's effort to put together this unbelievable live stream event and uh and this uh this show this piece will give you a taste of what is to come over the next day and a half over the next 36 hours most of our own reimagined unite the heel.com keep giving everybody keep giving [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] the [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] oh [Music] me [Music] is [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] my [Music] [Applause] is [Music] me [Music] is [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] yay [Music] most of our own reimagined simcha namaka beats just one sample of the great entertainment that you're going to have over the next 36 hours as we are uniting to heal at unitedheal.com to benefit amudim we have reached 202 thousand dollars a figure that will make our next guest very happy very pleased and we're asking everybody to continue to be as generous as possible go to unite to heal.com unitedheal.com it's 36 hours 36 events including tonight's holy yed squares that i have the honor of hosting and it's over 100 performers and entertainers and leaders from around the world at the same time we're asking you to consume and enjoy all of this content while supporting amudim by clicking on the donate button and being as generous as possible at unite2heel.com david solomon is with us he is the amudim chair of the board of governors and he also chairs the audit and finance committee and could speak about the need for a 5 million dollar successful campaign over the next 36 hours david solomon welcome good morning i'm thrilled to be here especially having grown up uh listening to you every morning on jm in the am thank you shout out to my folks in queens who we woke up to you so good morning i appreciate it very much and a shout out to them as well um so david when did you first get involved with amudin so it was probably about between three and five years ago i sort of knew tsv and sv approached me to get involved and i think i was sort of skeptical i said listen i i have lots of demands on my time i don't really know much about about amudim and if i get involved i'm going to demand a very high standard of corporate governance and transparency those were two things that were very very important to me um sv is super persuasive as you know and uh there's no saying noted sv he worked on me and we had the i had the dual punch of mendy klein all of hashalam and the two of them finally uh sort of cajoled me and and perhaps forced me to get involved and uh i'm really happy i've i i've it's been a fantastic opportunity and i think we've pivoted the organization in a fantastic direction so from your perspective you could tell those who are watching that i moved in is what type of organization financially we are aiming for excellence constantly and we are constantly pushing ourselves to be the most transparent organization from the fiscal perspective uh the board in particular is an active working board that cares very much about the fiscal health of the organization and viability and we value uh these are hard-earned dollars that folks are donating and we take that responsibility very seriously we also have a fantastic finance team led by devorah pearlman our cfo who you just met and um both from a lay perspective and a uh an internal team perspective uh there's a really unique partnership we spend a lot of time on it we sweat every detail and our donors know that they are that they're funding very valuable work and every penny is accounted for in a very serious way and we take that responsibility seriously there are different organizations guidance departments that monitor charities are those the well-known ones aware of just how fiscally responsible moodin is yeah we um we it's important to us to have a fantastic five-star rating on each of those groups like guard star anything we qualify for we're at the top of the of the rating system that's something that we watch very carefully our financials are online which is um quite rare uh and we want people to have full transparency and we're happy to show donors the books at any time we take that responsibility seriously we want to be best in class from a corporate governance and financial perspective you know as a community first of all as a community we could be very proud that we have an organization like that but but aside from that as a community we always wonder about organizations that do get government assistance i have to assume that i moved them as a beneficiary of the because of their amazing work for the community and we want the government and those who look closely from albany and washington to see a jewish group that is taking fiscal responsibility very seriously it does only good for our community in general when that's their impression i know that's important to you as well yeah this is something core to what we're doing and uh i can't tell you how many jewish organizations have reached out to us to emulate this model and i listen to that we hope it spreads and um we're proud to be a role model in this respect in the jewish community not only the care and devotion uh for our clients but also uh how do we treat the donors and how do we spend their hard-earned money all right um with all the assistance from different sources that comes in you david solomon can sit here today and tell everybody watching that we still need a successful 5 million dollar campaign between now and tomorrow night and that 5 million dollars will go a long way to help a lot of people absolutely we're counting on your support uh we need your support uh kovid uh you know we needed your support before kovid uh kovid double underscored and bold uh bolded how much we need this support the people have been cooped up for nine months um it exacerbates a lot of underlying problems and uh the call volume as miriam alluded to earlier is off the charts uh we also need to be supportive of our caseworkers you know this is money this is not a luxury this is necessary you're on the board of governors you probably as you're watching all this develop in march april may you were probably saying how much more can we do how much how can we you know be tapped to the point where the finances are going to dry up the finances won't be there to continue this amazing work yeah we had we had a lot of tense uh zoo meetings and calls the board our financial staff we're thrilled that we made it through but we're not there yet and we take the viability organization very carefully we're careful never to borrow that's something which is important and we want to meet our commitments to the community and we have and we hope to continue to do it for a long time so thank you to everyone in advance for everything you've done uh heretofore we look forward to your support going forward and we hope to be here to serve the community covid non-kovid whatever whatever hashem sends us it sounds like the board could have thrown up their hands and given up but it's not that type of board no way even with covert it's not going to scare you guys away we've got a bunch of fighters both on both on the professional team and also the and and the board and we've had fantastic support of people like uja federation uh i think without them we may not have made it through kovid both from a tangible support and from a professional and executive development support there are so many things that we've learned from them and others uh other groups that will be highlighted throughout this live stream that really helped us so we have fantastic community partners amudim is community uh it's part of our slogan and it's not just the big donors and it's not just the big federations or foundations every single donor counts yeah on that topic and it's a great way to segue into our next pitch i mean you you i'm sure you have colleagues out there and you know people who have been very generous in the past and found this year to be very challenging could you just tell everybody out there why even the smaller donations when someone's giving 18 36 100 500 whatever it may be and are not doing the 10 20 000 level explain why that's so vital and it really helps you increase the donor base sve and our entire team look at every donation uh and you i just saw a bunch of smaller donations scrolling across the stream you can't imagine the uh psychological support that it gives to our board and to our professional team to see all sorts of names coming through and and to some degree our community is one or two degrees of separation you know you may know someone who donated to amudem i bump into people all the time who say hey david amudem helped me with this i called sv about that i spoke to miriam and her team about x y and z um we're all connected this is the community is super connected and uh every donation is tracked our statistics are fantastic we track every just like we track every case in every community and we know how much we're spending in every community we track donations seeing the support of the broad jewish community and beyond is very gratifying to the team and it is the jet fuel that propels us phenomenal uh and so he doesn't know how to say no nor does the board not have to say no so never so much and we can't say no to him so whenever the board is approached or his approach to help with any case they jump into action uh david solomon i thank you continued success with the organization thank you very much i'm gonna remind everybody that unite to heal.com unitedheal.com it's an amazing opportunity for everybody out there to be a large donor a smaller donor to give what you can and to continue enjoying this live stream while being as generous as possible please please utilize these 36 hours and the 36 events and the over 100 leaders and entertainers that you're going to be meeting in this unique format over the next day and a half and be as generous as possible we have incredible stuff coming up i mean i'll go through it before this hour ends some amazing events and performers uh that'll be coming up over the next 36 hours plus the holy yed squares game that's going to be happening tonight which i have the honor of hosting but as all this is going on and you're enjoying all the panel discussions and all the wonderful brand new content that's being offered and unique content is being offered over the next 36 hours please be as generous as you can amudim is there for everybody children adults and families in our community worldwide every day of the year unitedheal.com hit the donate button we have three guests who are going to be joining us here in our studio is miriam ryan it's cops welcome and thank you for being here and i'm told that we're going to be joined by both uh there they are uh rifki milgram rifky hello to you hi hello thank you for being with us and gita reinette's batsman is with us as well gita hello and welcome to the show thank you miriam i'll start with you this is you know it's funny sv introduced this whole area of uh amudim during covid to us a situation like yours just a few weeks ago i didn't even realize that i moved them had jumped in to help people in this type of situation miriam describe what your family recently went through and what mood them did to help i would say it's a little bit of a lighter story and my little sister gita uh she's up on the screen over there was going to be getting married in september in israel and um my sister rifky and i were trying to get there so uh it was a little bit complicated at the time we weren't really able to get into israel so easily because of covet and there were so many requirements and rifki and i kind of turned to each other and said we're going to do whatever it takes to get into israel so let's start buying covet insurance and getting all of our documents together and you contact the consulate and you give them this entire document just under a certain level of megabytes and you send it in for them to come back and say sorry um so they don't want you to apply right until two weeks before your travel so they'll reject it right off the bat if it's not within two weeks of travel so um it's a funny little game where you have to get it just in the right window and we really wanted to be there for her um i guess you know what makes our situation a little bit um you know that brought it to the tension of david kushner out of philadelphia is that we don't have parents gita we lost our mom when gita was only three and then our dad when gita was 13. so she started a life for herself in israel she she made aliyah and she built something for herself over there and we're so proud of her and we wanted to be there to see her get married to this incredible guy leor and david sympathized with that we didn't think that it was a sympathetic story but one of the incredible things about david and i'm with him is that they look at you and say this is what you need don't like don't you and i'm so happy that he did because what he did for us was he got in direct contact with the consulate and made sure that we were able to get in we just kept getting rejected again and again and he saw a story and he communicated it to them and i just remember on a saturday night i was missing a document which is my birth certificate and i had no way of proving that i was gita's sister and i'm just why else would i want to get on a plane during comey there ain't go ahead and also don't isn't it israel don't you guys see that like aren't you your your intelligence is so much far superior than anything i you know are sisters more than i do but um i sent my husband back to the apartment to look for my we found my father's death certificate at my grandfather's destination we were able to just piece things together and david called me and he said the lady at the consulate says what's this girl doing bothering me tell her she's fine she's gonna go to israel so rifky and i uh packed our stuff up and went thank god we got to see gita down the aisle it was really beautiful really emotional and we thank david so much for seeing what we needed more than we did so i moved him as relentless sometimes in a really really good way i just love that they use their resources and it didn't necessarily cost anything and they don't give up yeah oh gosh david is relentless he yeah let's turn to rifki for a moment before we get to the kala uh rifki what are your impressions and what do you remember about this whole episode i just remember telling my sister miriam like this isn't ball we're never gonna be able to get to this wedding like just give up this is not happening and thank god my sister miriam also she's relentless and she never gives up and i i was so thankful to be able to be at my little sister's wedding it was so special it was so meaningful and um and i just i'm very grateful that uh amudin was able to to help us out with this and that my sister miriam also didn't give up and um i'm just very grateful to them sounds like you guys went to the right address because i moved and won't give up and they'll make sure to always do what is necessary to help people out and this is a perfect example as you said a lighter story or a simcha story as opposed to the majority of the amudim cases and now to the kala gita in israel i assume welcome to the show hi thank you so much for having me so what was it like when you were sort of not sure if your closest relatives and those you care about most would not not would possibly not be at the wedding so for me is actually a lot more complicated uh than it was we got engaged back in march with a six-month loop time and we said covet's going to be over by then and then three months and then two months a lot of people here are changing their wedding dates cancel their weddings um and i said we have to keep the date we have to keep the date no matter what and then a few weeks before the wedding when i saw that it really looked like none of my siblings would be here i i had nightmares i kept envisioning myself under the football without a single family member and like miriam said after all the work i did to build myself up to build a career to be independent i felt like an orphan like i felt the same way like when i was 13 and i was just orphaned and i said if i don't have one family member under the hoop we should push off this wedding like that's to me it was really that important it felt horrific i was like it's like cinderella but in a bad way um so it didn't matter at that point it didn't matter at that point how many people were at the wedding because if you remember august and september that was a big issue in israel right how many people could be at a wedding the most important thing is who was at the wedding and thank god because of amudin you had the people there to do wanted they showed up on like thursday afternoon we posted like the shabbat before the wedding imagine hosting like come we got your favorite foods i was so excited to have them exactly like you said i said let us have five people on the beach as long as you know it's someone who watched me grow up and can transition me from one stage to the next it doesn't matter if it's 500 people but nobody from my family and and you gave us the biggest gift that i could ever ever ask for when uh rifky and miriam got back on the plane to leave israel were you sort of like i cannot believe this actually happened i think we're still we're still kind of in shock and to be honest we hadn't really even heard of a museum before but learning more about what they do and how it's all a heart when i see the dollars coming up on the screen it's just like you're basically funding incredible people helping as many people as they possibly can david just he wants to help my other sister in london unfortunately she couldn't uh it was a little bit more political there but um he just wanted to help and i can only imagine the other staff members of amudim if they have that same heart and soul all it is about touching as many people as possible and making life better for jews around the world and i don't know you know what's more important well you said it best uh early on in this conversation when you said whatever people need they want to help you know get it done for everybody uh rifki um how do you look back once this whole episode ended i i still think about that wedding and how how incredible it was and how amazing it was that uh i was able to be there and um i i'll never forget that you know for the rest of my life i'll always think back to that unbelievable day and story and uh it was just really incredible really really incredible gita does leora know that amudim was instrumental in making the wedding even better oh he knows all about it yeah why is that we discussed it from our new joint and we can count how much we're giving him and i don't know i don't know who is happier you know near him like he just lit up at the chance to spend some time with my sisters and the chance to really combine his family um and he was just in his schoolwork yeah well gita mazeltov to you and continued success and uh to uh miriam and rifki we'll wish you mazel tov as well because helped make it a really sympathetic simcha for uh for the kala for everybody at the wedding and especially for the sisters thank you so much thanks so much for joining us amazing work everybody uh this is one i like how miriam put it it's a light story but uh even when it's a desperate situation that involves a really really cool and wonderful event like a wedding they're there for everybody so please give what you can go to the unite to heal.com site which i'm assuming you're on right now unite to heal.com click on the donate button if you noticed we're about to hit 220 000 220 out of a uh out of an amazing uh a campaign goal of 5 million which we hope to hit by tomorrow night so please keep it coming keep it coming at every single level uh i want to take this opportunity now to announce and to bring in uh shulam lemmer shulmer has a great brand new uh selection entitled i'll rise up this show this portion this special video that we're presenting is sponsored by vantage point capital and our friends at vantage point capital and i hope all of you are being very generous at this time to the people of aramudem shulam lemmer for you on unitedheal.com keep giving everybody founded on the pillars of kindness compassion and dignity amudom is there to serve community members in times of crisis amudham functions as a confidential resource center that provides meaningful assistance enduring support and direct referrals for individuals and families and ensures that every person facing a crisis has a place to turn to at their lowest points in the darkest hours a modem is a beacon of light helping people overcome their challenges and helping them rise up [Music] you're broken down and tired of living life on a merry-go-round and you can't find that fighter but i see it in you so we gonna walk it out move the mountains you're gonna walk it out [Music] i'll rise up our eyes like the day our eyes up our eyes unafraid our eyes up and i'll do it a thousand [Music] and i'll do it a thousand times again [Music] for you [Music] when the silence isn't quiet and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe and i know you feel like dying but i promise we'll take the world to its feet [Music] our again [Music] for you [Music] all we need all we need is hope and for that we have each other oh we will rise we rise [Music] and we'll do it a thousand [Music] and we'll do it a thousand times again [Music] shulam lemmer i'll rise up is the name of that selection thank you to vantage point capital uh everybody out there i have great news we are at 225 000 what a start it's one hour so far not even an hour yet one hour so far of a 36 hour event for amudin 225 000. can we get to a 5 million dollar goal by tomorrow night the answer is yes and don't forget we wrap up tomorrow night with a great live event starting at 6 pm eastern time join us for that we'll have amazing guests great conversation make sure to be with us monday night eastern time 6 pm eastern time monday night to wrap this whole thing up and tonight at 8 pm eastern time the debut of holy yid squares which is going to be featured in the 8 o'clock hour eastern time tonight right here at unitedheel.com a lot of great events a lot of wonderful things are happening we need you to keep it coming and i'm talking about the funds i'm talking about the money i'm talking about this campaign getting to five million dollars keep on donating click on the donate button unitedheal.com encourage everybody through your email through your telephone and whatsapp and facebook and twitter and every type of social media that you have to be as generous as possible and keep a mood them going it's a five million dollar campaign which will wrap up tomorrow night [Music] hello and welcome my name is rabbi from goldberg and i have a true privilege and an honor to share this conversation with moyu varabe haravshakterita truly an enormous privilege and an opportunity for all of us to learn i'm so excited to be able to do this conversation on behalf of an extraordinary organization amudim amudim and sriglock and the entire staff administration and all the volunteers are performing the greatest quest that there is people in their most vulnerable moments individuals who are in crisis to show up to intervene to be able to hold up and to be able to place people in the environment with the support that they need is literally saving lives we've benefited here in south florida from sv's vision and leadership from amudim's hard work and so have countless others not only where emudim is headquartered but really around the world and so as we begin i want to encourage everyone to continue to support this extraordinary organization go to amudim.org and do what you can to enable it to continue to do the wonderful work it does in literally keeping people alive as i mentioned for me it's truly an honor and a privilege i'm humbled at the opportunity to be able to have this conversation with mori vareby the gemara tells us in sukkah in the name of rav how do we know that even the informal conversation of tamiya requires lean but it's worth studying it's worth capturing it's worth listening to low ebol for all of us who know mori varabhi for all of us who know we know what an extraordinary talmud is we know his encyclopedic knowledge of torah we know the enormous shoulders he has in issuing on issues the most significant issues of our day and any day particularly in this period we still find ourselves in this pandemic how many of us have relied on rebbi on the sack on the guidance on the leadership on the direction in moments of of terrible crisis halachically and otherwise to know how to navigate these dark times many of us most of us know that side of shechter and as someone who sat in sheer i can tell you the goosebumps i got each day in the two hours from drawing from the width and breath of torah all over but our time today is not about the formal torah per se it's not tapping into this outstanding talent knowledge of torah but rather it's a sichas khulin to be able to learn informally from the conversations from the life from the relationships of this goddam with other godola israel and so rebbe i can't thank you enough from the bottom of my heart for giving me and us this opportunity to be able to have this conversation and i want to begin by asking rebbe how important is the experiences and the stories that we're going to hopefully please god draw from of the opportunities rebbe has had to meet and spend time with gedola israel how important for an aspiring talmud for a ben torah to be meshamesh to engage that hula and to not only learn in the basement and share but to learn from leaders outside of it as well attitudes are also part of the masoru you don't just have a dry muscle around the dynamite in this case it's muta this case is oscar you have to see what are the attitudes of the rabbi it's important to pick up from from the earlier generation what their attitudes were many different things you have to know how to weigh you have different insurgents there are always different opinions you have to know how to navigate which is the accepted opinion which is the generally accepted opinion you have to see them that these very important what is rebbe's we all know rebbe as one of the tamidim of hakkim of the rav of rabbi salavechek and the continuation of his misora of his legacy what are some of rebbi's earliest memories of rabbi salavaitchik what drew rebbe to be a talmud of rav salaveczyk what happened was i think uh two years before my bar mitzvah my father took me to hear rap celebrations outside russia he had the art site there every year on gimelsman for his father at which time he would deliver a talk for four hours first two hours would be yeshiran next to ours would be uh drasha ashkoffa on that topic that he had just given the shear on and he had to prepare me in advance i was before bahamut so he prepared all the gemaras with me and rabbi salvation was such a good balmasber the yeshi was in yiddish but i understood yiddish because my father used to give to russia in yiddish so he understood the so my father took me before my bar mitzvah and and then when i was in third year high school the rebbe recommended to the principal of mta that for the next year my senior year in high school they should put me around celebrate shakespeare but because i was so young so they said i should be in another arabic relics year the other days of the week so i should be tied down every day i should have ascension that time i was already going to give you twice a week on tuesday and wednesday so they felt that i should go they were both learning the same game or a sanhedrin i was always ignorable it was learning the amarya sanhedrin so i was in rabbi so i was fortunate i was in literally she when i was still in high school and i learned by absolute for 10 years my impression is that those were the best 10 years of his life they were the best 10 years of my life i think that's those were the strongest years that he gave sheer in the yeshiva i see people from the years before my time they really can't say over things in halakha from there they can say about russia's but somehow he this the shia was too hot for them but time i came to this year he lowered it down a little bit so i understood everything that he had to say and my father was thrilled that uh my father had learned paramusha's celebrating my father was thrilled that i i could follow celebrate elevator and is it true that um that rebbe would only write down notes from from the rav shir occasionally not even in real time that rebbe was was paying attention to the share in real time and only recording the notes later i used to learn i had a harusa who whose family lived in boston he lives now in boca raton uh herbie millen sure rabbi by milan he's retired now rabbi millions told me that when aaron lichtenstein learned by the rav he used to write the note somewhat sorry shabbos so i thought why did he do that to she was on tuesday and wednesday why did he write the note someone said i'm saying i must have a good reason so i assumed he probably thought over the sheer and then he realized you have to rearrange certain ideas that rob worked it out so that's what i did for quite a few years then after a year a few years of doing that i wouldn't write any notes at all during this year but only this year was tuesday wednesday i would write the notes i'm at soy shabbas then i found out that rabbi miller meant when aaron listens team was going to harvard and he was staying in his parents home and he learned but the rob on shabbos afternoon then he wrote the notes on it so he showed us but i was already so used to my system so i continued like that till i started to go on dates when i started the date so sometimes i needed mozart shabbas sunday night to write the notes so then i started then i started writing they're not doing this year but in the early early years the first uh seven eight years maybe even more uh of the ten years that i learned by the love i only wrote the notes down on my toei shabbos and on sunday night yeah and we're so fortunate and and blessed to have those notes because they formed the basis of of several many of this farm that we have of the rav on on gemara on london itself are derived from rebbe's notes right sure so it's a great bracha did rabbi have an opportunity to have a relationship outside of sheer with the rav was the rav approachable what kind of time was spent or what opportunities were there for for rebbe to develop a relationship and to be meshamish the roth outside of shir itself and i was in this year uh haber bunch beagle was a roommate of mine in the dormitory branch beagle he spoke yiddish because he was a european so he was very close with the rock he would go to the rob's apartment and talk to him a lot i was younger much younger than ava brunch beagle and i never had that uh i never wanted his in later years after my time the younger boys always went to the rob's apartment they would walk him home to the dormitory from the shia to the dormitory then they would sit and chew a zero for a whole afternoon i never did that the only the only time outside of she was when i would visit in boston so then i would be in my monarchs i would stay every so often either by the millions or say my aunt and uncle lived for a while in boston and my grandmother lived here while in boston so i would stay with relatives or with friends and dive and buy their oven rashani i'm kipper to see how he diamonds on yantuv that there everything was informal then he was very friendly we thought about about them in the show and the opportunity to observe him and to learn from that in that setting and i know rebbe used to emphasize and cheer from the haftarah we just read to look for arabia and and one sees that i guess in the everyday life absolutely had a practice whenever he would do something he would explain to the people why he's doing it so i remember ahmed soy yum kippur he would he would fold up his talos and he said the whole issue of holding a talis today is only but yum kipp you permitted to make honey for the morning of yom kippur or someone just called me last night for merits israel and the gopin so he tells me that he used to sit near the rover maimonides so whenever it would be jantov would be on air of shabbos and make an air tough shilling so the rob would always fold this tower say after musso van gaantev explain to the people that since we made an air of tough children so we're permitted to fold the tallest today for tomorrow we wouldn't make an abduction with me muta remember i meant so young kipper if the weather permitted he would always go say kirish lavana and he would always explain but i'm a toy t-shirt of your kid so tishman you have to wait till you put your shoes on until you eat so yeah i'm kipper in a happy mood so you can say kitties live on it right away even though you don't have shoes on even though you didn't eat any food whenever he would do something he would always explain to the people around him so those who didn't spend time in boston are missing all of these explanations he always explained everything and and many of those explanations are recorded obviously in inefficient and the further volumes that that gives us those who didn't have the privilege of learning buyers spending time with their of access to to those midhub we're not going to go in chronological order but but really um going on a tour with rebbe of the of the gedom that rebbe met so um so again not not going in order but going back in in rebbe's life to being an mta there was a time in mta where some of the talmudim were sent to lakewood to learn with ravana cutler and to spend some time there rebbe was among them um i was the only one from high school the others were older than me the others were in college or in smith already rabbi tendler by maisha david was my rebbe in first year high school and this was the summer that i was going to turn 14 i was still only 13. i wasn't even 14 yet so rabbi tendler sent a group of 10 15 boys to learn in lakewood it was a very tiny yeshiva at that time they didn't have thousands of students they had maybe a hundred i don't know rabbi tender's uh middle brother yossi tender who passed away a few years ago from baltimore uh he was then learning like he was single then he was lying so he was looking after us and uh i think i'm not sure look i think he wanted to give hezek the liquid so he sent another 10 15 boys there the other world didn't mean i was the youngest one and when rebbe was there was there interaction with ravana cutler did ruby have an opportunity to meet him uh there wasn't too much interaction because uh baron cutler wasn't there the whole week he just came shot this and he gave the shia that's why they don't have any tapes of his shirt because he was he wasn't there in the weekdays and sharp as you can tape it and then he was going there was a can they see abdullah which the guru was having in eretz who saw so he was going to leave so uh just on i remember that shabbos he gave us they learned we learned there i was there for a short period of time so we learned git and of you gimmel the the the while that i was there abandoned not on the duff it was something on baba basra and i didn't understand one word so right after this year everybody ran into the back room i didn't know where where's everybody running they said yanko shift says the hazard yankel shift was the star student yeah i think he prepared the with rabban kotlin advanced later he married the daughter of adobola soloveitchik so i ran to the back room also to hear the hazard i didn't understand one word that he said either so then and then we had chavos afternoon so i wanted to hear this person the uncle ships i sat down next to him and he was talking and learning i still say over some of the things that he told me that i remember and [Music] and then i'm a toy shabbos i remember that man so shabbos they said kiddish levana must have been tamus i don't think it was of yet it was tamu's middle kitties lebanon someone taps me on the shoulder the rash yeshiva wants to talk to me in his office i went to his office and he says to me ingalla little boy tell me over this year i didn't understand one word then this year i understood the yiddish but i didn't understand what he was driving it so i started to fund for something i started to say something so i don't know what i'm talking about so he said that's good enough in the edition that's good enough but uh he was very nice amazing and moving over um to sort of a different world did rebbe have an opportunity to ever meet the labacher rabbit did rabbi interact at all with the lubavitch rebbe little chairs when my first child got engaged so uh um altametzka met me he used to teach in stern college maybe he still teaching historically i don't know and uh he met me and he asked tells me motherhood your daughting engaged would be interested in getting a broker from the laboratory i had no shackles for the obamacare so i said with a straight face i'll ask my daughter let me write down your phone number i'll ask my daughter she wants a bracha and if she does then we're going to call you on the phone so i went with with the color and some of the children i ready for god they have pictures of it because they took pictures of everybody so uh rabbi metzger arranged that i should be on the vip line they don't have to wait too long and uh and i remember uh the people already in crown heights already heard that i'm going to come on sunday to get abraham from the rebel so one of the people called me up on the phone he knew that i had published advice about land for peace and the rebel was supposed to live that's what i wrote it's against the din so he said when he heard i was going to go visit the rem he said give the rabbi a copy of your daughter so he said that's but the rabbit does need my approval it says his opinion he says no mock my words the rebel will appreciate it so i felt so uncomfortable so i bring i made a xerox copy and i brought it in a manila envelope and then at the end of the whole conversation that the rebel gave everybody two dollars gabriel were about to leave so i said yeah uncle ruben i pinned the plan and say yankel rubin said i should give you the vaterra that i wrote i felt so uncomfortable giving a mind right there so he says to me it says he said in yiddish says in this foreigners which means a different thing so he said if someone gives you that toy you have to give him money so he gave me another two dollars and he put it on the table next one so i thought he's going to put it in the sheamus or something so years years later years go by and we're on vacation in the summertime and our next on aber and the next uh cottage is alabama say watch the movies of the rebbe greeting all the people on sunday morning so who's there online rabbi hershel the one who just pissed away a few years ago so he's online and he meets the rabbit and he says the rabbit says what's your name so he says oh the russian you're the one who gave me that tehran land for peace so he says no he was my father's age he says no the president of the mizrahim the president of the rca and the president of a soviet jewry the president of the president's commissary president of every organization in america he was and he was the one who brought rap salvation to the fabrega and also that time rob salvation so he said he's not the one so i apparently did leave an impression on him that uh i gave him the doctor and then for peace and he remembered it i was very surprised he supposedly had an amazing memory and obviously exposed to so many people and yet remembered who they where they were um in this horrific pandemic we've lost um true truly special people great leaders great rabbanim among them was the rosh moaxes the nova mitsuba and i know that rebbe had the opportunity to have a relationship with the movement when when he lived in washington heights i believe that may be an issue and even at some point took over his his sheer what was robbie's relationship like with the nova minsk what stood out about the nova minsker that we could learn from when another minsk arabic came from chicago to washingtonites they appointed him the russia shiva embroiders base madrish so whoever the practice of whoever is officially the russian ship voice based madrid was the rabbi and the aguda minion so it was a couple of years where there was politics in the ishida that is also politics but different kind of politics at that time i didn't want to dive in an issue because of the politics i used to dive in yagura for a few years so the navy minsk red when he came from chicago took over used to be the rashidi before him and then he went to gateshead to be to be involved in gateshead issues so rabbi friedley used to give his shirt a reshabas afternoon for the parents of the students in the yeshiva that they should be able to learn together with their children and to know hidusha torah on the daft that they're learning so navi minsk took over that sheer when he first came he was used to screaming very loud speaking very loud and he strained his vocal cord so much that there was a chansha she would lose his voice so the doctor told me he's not allowed to speak for around a year so he couldn't give the shiam shabbos afternoon and the weekly she or the daily share that he gave in in the breeze ishiba he would write it on the blackboard and distribute he would write it up and distribute to the students so the shiran shabs afternoon he asked he asked me to pinch it for him that he had seen a lot of my notes apparently someone in chicago had a copy of my notes from absolutely chick sharon so he says he knows that i know how to say ishii and for quite a few years something like close to 10 years i gave the shiran shah this afternoon that was officially this year for the um for the parents and the grandparents of the students who are learning employers yeshiva used to go visit him a lot yeah we used to go visit him because he lived in a neighborhood used to talk and learning yeah i think it was um i think rebbe has shared that early in rebbe's marriage uh rebbe and the rebels and went territorial for some time hoping a very dare to srell would it would bring brachas and on that trip correct me if i'm wrong that it was on that trip that ready went around to different easter all to get broncos included among them was the stiplogone the stipler what was that conversation what was that bracha what was that like what happened was we didn't have an issue we were married or while we didn't have any children so we went to the exclusive so we should be blessed with you so we stayed in my back for a while so someone said i should go to this type law i had never heard of the disciple before his forum were not yet available in america it wasn't available in every cell either he he didn't sell it in the stores he had to go to his home so they told me go to the disciple and yes craig broken so i said what do you do well how do you ask for a broker so he said first buy a copy of it first buy some swarm after you buy safer than you so i came they didn't tell me the whole story he was hard of hearing he had a pair of paper in front of him so he screams that in yiddish what can i do for you so he gives me the pair of paper i should write it down so i wrote down i want to buy his safer on kidushan that was in the middle of the summer and yeshiva was not like edushin after labor day that that september so he climbs up on the ladder he gets the conducion i give him the money he starts giving me the nickel change or the quarter change i said you can keep the change the big dlc says now business is business he's not a poor man he doesn't need donations he gives me the court of change then he screams on the edge what else can i do for you so i wrote down on a piece of paper that i'm married and we don't have any children can he bless me would you say yes i should be blessed with children then he screams on yiddish what else can i do for you i wrote down on the pad of paper i was embarrassed to say i was a rebbe in ishida at that time i was already a rebbe because i didn't have a beard so i thought it'd give me a hard time so i said i learned in a kylo an american occult can he give me a bracha to have it it was true also i was lying in the cold also so i said can you give me a broken for hotslock on learning so he screamed back at me and he says in yiddish all the brothers in the world are not going to help sit and learn and to be much sleek and learning doesn't help to get broken to be a muslim yes that remains with me it's uh such a different image of today we're going to the going to his son and the khatsa and the lines and the access and and one is lucky if they get it as opposed to the uh what else do you need what else can i do for you the world has changed erratically uh in that way i guess and and in that time was it also on that trip that rebbe met uh some chocolate bars and special treats sure what happened was rav shah gave his shirt in the yeshiva and i i listened to this year so after this year he walked over to me and he says he says in yiddish where do i come from he knows that i'm a guest so i asked my wife later on how did he know i was a guest and she said of course you're the only one who was wearing a straw hat everybody else was wearing a black felt hat i was wearing a dark straw hat he came up to me he says where do you come i said i come from america i learned in ishima so he said i should come visit him so i didn't know whenever i went to visit people and never tell you i always went with my wife i didn't realize his wife was an invalid she was bedridden for many many years so i came with my wife so when we came so he apologized that his wife is not well now he didn't tell me she was bedridden for years he tells me the wife is not well she can't come out of the bedroom but he didn't so he wanted to talk to me in learning but he felt that it's improper to talk to me i'm learning my wife is just be sitting there she he he was giving a on the sugiya in kidus and after you gimmel about shibura loved her he told me about ramban in the end of barbara on the topic so he felt uncomfortable how can he talk and learning and keep my wife sitting there so he gave her a chocolate bar and he said she should eat the chocolate bar so she felt uncomfortable eating a chocolate bar so he said no no it's kasha it's kasha you see if it has he says in yiddish if it has this emblem from the badass that means that it's kosher you came she felt uncomfortable eating in his presence so so cozman she was eating the chocolate bar he was talking learning the second that she finished the chocolate bar he felt it's not proper so he stopped talking and learning it wasn't there it's the talk and learning when she's sitting and waiting there that was interesting such a different a different time and again the rebbe had access to these godolam because they were so much more accessible they were so much more available than the world that we live in today was it also on that trip or was it a different period that rebbe spent shabbos meals that ravenoshvinko that evie was exposed to the banishment yeah the first time we visited erit israel the banish finkel when he was a teenager was very friendly with my father-in-law my father-in-law learned in europe in the mirri sheba as a teenager said they were very close friends so he only wanted my father gave us a list of all of his friends we should go visit them and say hello and eat by them so he only wanted we when we were you shall not have to spend we have to eat all the meals by him we didn't do that but we ate more by him than by anybody else sure he was very friendly he was a big kibbutz he was a big joker he had quite a sense of humor yeah what were those meals like we have the image of uh big rabonam of gadolin that the meals are kulo torah was there also those shabbos meals what were those yeah yeah sure i remember that year tisha b we ate quite a few times by him remember one uh one of the meals we were talking that year tish above fell out down shabbos and it was a nitrate to sunday so we was i brought up in conversation um it says that there's no on fasting is before bar mitzvah he's going to be my mitzvah next week he's healthy you don't make them first untisable so the shuttle is what if the child is going to be bar mitzvah and udo he was born 13 years ago yudov and this year europe he is bar mitzvah and everybody else is fasting on europe but on tisha b'av he's not a bar mitzvah is the first thing on europa touch lumen for yesterday so since yesterday he was not a bar mitzvah so he doesn't even have to fast today on anurag because nam kris to do tash lumen he was mukhim in the first place what do you say no and that year that tishbo falls out on the shabbos the ike from the very outset was that you failed on your off because the gemara quotes foreign if i would have been there at the time of the urban advice he would have instituted tisha b and europe because the mainstream space amigos took place on europe so i was talking to a banished finkel about that uh about that dion and he rushed out maybe the cotton shahid alan yudhov doesn't have to face because it could touch london for yesterday so that time all of his daughters were married except for one the one is now married to rabbi lapianski so she was sitting and listening and she was giving a running commentary on everything so she thought that was humorous zara young that the kid doesn't have to fist even though he is bar mitzvah today on europe because yesterday he wasn't she would uh she would give she was interesting she was giving a running commentary whenever we would speak yeah that's amazing it's i i find it very instructive and inspiring that that rebbe's associations with each of these visits and they were more than a few years ago is by the torah or the torah that was shared today many young people they meet somebody of great stature and all they care about is getting a picture with that person all they care about is the ability to tell others they met that person um but but obviously rebbe is sharing with us that what's most important is to be able to to learn torah from that person and to associate the visit and the person with the torah or the or the hidushay torah that one got from that experience in almost every one of these stories let's let's come back if we could come back to america um in rebbe's first day here it's at 3 i believe one of the haskammus is from the pinchas of montreal why did rabbi choose rehearsable to give a haskamma was there a relationship murder first sprung was one of the few who passed the pin test uh on every daf of shas why what was that relationship uh it wasn't my choice i had a boy maishir abe schmidtman whose parents lived in montreal his father was a rabbi montreal when the schmidtmans used to live in in riverdale he used to once a week on thursday nights unless he had something unless he was busy with something in the show so this boy amy schmidtman is now rabbi in philadelphia so he insisted he knew i was working on this he insisted he's going to get raversboom the writer so i gave him all the mammarum all the essays and he brought it to rabbi hershbung who read through the whole thing he read everything and then he wrote a husqvarna he wrote soy shabbas and he looked on the calendar and he wrote the date for shabbos so if you look if you're checking the calendar it sounds like you wrote to us because he wrote the day of the month with the shabbos the good day and then when the safer was printed so i sent them a copy so one of my sons went on on a pier a good visit to montreal and then when they met rabbi hershbung so he said oh you rabbi son yes your father why did he change three things in the safer he read the whole cipher before he was printed then he read the whole safety after and he realized that i changed three things from the time that he gave it to him to the time that it was printed ask your father why did he change three things in the safe he had big respect for abdul salam he loved he heard the return from rabbit salvation he was that's why he was very nice to me because he knew that i was a student around salvation he was very nice to me that is that is extraordinary um we just lost david feinstein that's all and the world is still in in mourning from that loss um i believe rebbe consulted him with with shiloh's and and had a relationship i know even magazine in their in their article that talked about rav david talked about the other great rabbanim who would consult with him and rebbe's name was listed in the article in the magazine among those what was that relationship with rav david what was rav david like what kinds of issues did rebbe consult halal with him about i really didn't have with rabdavid feinstein every so often when people would discuss and shine with me so a lot of our emotions tubers are not written so clearly see every so often the he has a hectare because if there was one condition in that case that he forgot to write and the whole head they rested are not conditioned so the function was there when his father was writing all these jews i think rumored feinstein i think i was told was learning in cleveland and it tells yeshiva at the time but was there with his father so he knew all of these truths and he knew under which conditions they applied to which conditions didn't ever so often there's a contradiction between different jews and he's the only one who knows but the answer is he knows what's what's missing and the children what conditions so every so often people had serious shyness and i i was not in a position to give them an answer i would recommend they better go to abdul bit because he can't take the egress moisture at face value a lot of times there's information missing and um obviously in washington heights uh schwab was was there of in washington heights and there was a relationship and overlap and and and what were some of the lessons or insights from the relationship or from conversations with schwab that ready can share with us uh for quite a few years maybe five years or so i was officially the rabbi in the show kahaladashi shown in paramus at that time it was a branch of breus so issues came up and i had to usually discuss the issues with rabbi schmidt because they're supposed to follow the succumb of of the kihilla so once a year every year i would go with my wife with all of our children there's a rubbish bob on halamoid sukkas and we would stay for a long time he would tell us stories he would talk about his visit to the khasanesh he knew my wife's uncle who was killed by the nazis he knew from europe um arya islam his name was islam he said when he learned and tells that was the altar of that he looked up to he wanted to be like istan so he would tell us about members of the family my wife's family he would tell the stories he would talk i remember one occasion on one occasion he was giving me an instruction look here young man when you're in the rabbinate you can't always be mahm and everything sometimes you have to adopt sometimes you're forced into adopting a lenient position otherwise he's gonna lose everything he was talking about they're wearing a schaetel that a lubacher young man wrote a whole safer uh that the women shouldn't wear shapeline everyone should wear tir no one should be mako to wear and he said he can't give a huskaman he was asking me do i know who it is the young man wanted him to give on the safe he had given us come on the previous safer that he wrote encouraging the men not to shave with an electric shaver you shouldn't use shavers so he what so he gave us come on let's say he wanted him to the young man wanted him to give us come on this safe so he says he can't give us come on not safe he says you have to learn to live with certain kulas otherwise you just lose all the people that's an important lesson in life and in their evidence sure how does one know and in the rabbit and how does one know what what to learn to live with and what to propose to fight for that's you got to work hard that's that's the magic question and a rebbe and and through the mishpakha had a close relationship with rob gifter what was it like spending yom tobin and a relationship with your gifter what what could we learn about regifter usually rabbi gifter was on shabbos my brother-in-law is rabbi gifter's son one of my brothers-in-law and whenever there would be a bar mitzvah or a knife rule for a sherman brothers a rubber gift that would come and we would spend time talking and learning is a very pleasant we spoke and learning i remember in the rabbi gifter where he lived in uh he lived in cleveland then he went there to surf a few years and he came back the man was speaking to him after he came back so he makes a comment he changed while he was in earth so he changed his their habit instead of learning so slowly he picked up he says i picked up your style to cover more ground to go faster and he says he thinks it's smarter to go first that the government ground is smart he was he was strong in learning he was strong over him did he or others give advice to rebbe as a magazine as a reshashiva what was important and and within within giving or growing a yeshiva whether was there that kind of advice or give and take from from a gifter from others or was more in learning specifically i don't remember gifter i just remember once rabbi naftali newberger was talking to me in baltimore we have our three boys learnt in baltimore yoshida uh one after the other after the other so we used to go well once a year once every year and a half to visit the son who was in high school there in baltimore so once rabbi newberger was talking to me about the politics so he was upset there was one rebbe in you who spoke them on the phone for an hour whether he should stay and why you he should leave and he says trying to convince me now he's not allowed to leave you you have to have a school like you not everybody's going to go to baltimore yeshiva you have to have yeshiva for the other people also and he was trying to convince this person for an hour then the person after the hour person didn't listen to him and he left you so he was so upset he said so what did he waste my time for now if he's not going to listen to my advice so he was just telling me i should stay in yu and i should be mad slayer and we have to cater to all the people not everybody is cut out to learn a lake but not everybody's cut out to learn in baltimore yeshiva you have to have different yeshivas with different people yeah ravia i'm not going back territorial but when ravada came to america he came to y u was there a time that he was considering even a position at why you he came to kshira as the as the ravarashi or it was uh visiting in some other capacity i think he had completed his 10 years as a rabbi rashi and and dr lam invited him to come to be a maggot cheer for a year uh so there was no harm in meaning because he was busy starting the shas uh organization at that time so there was no havamina but dr lim uh thought that it's a bob hesman so then the minute he stepped on the plane they already attacked him in israeli newspapers that he's selling his soul for money that while he was paying him a fortune of money to come teach nyu and he's going to take he would normally he would never even look at you but he's selling his cell phone truth of the matter was he never had to have a minute to teach nyu for a year and he didn't take a penny he ended it he didn't he didn't take any money they were negotiating how much you're going to give him if he comes for a year he said he can't come for a year he's busy forming the shas party so i think he came for a week so the first day he was here he gave his shirt a lamp at auditorium second day he was here gave a shirt in the old-based mattress then the third day they didn't know what to do with him already what what were they going to do for a year they didn't know what to do the third day so i always used to dab in a new sheet and i used to sit and learn after chakra is still uh until 10 30 11 o'clock i would go home to have a late breakfast so robert came into the basement he says quickly quickly i should take off my television film is coming to his office you have to get people to entertain and we have to ask him shirles sorry i went to the office rabbi tender was there i was there and we were asking him different childhoods what he would ask him but it's a different style it's a different style of sock that he had then then the next day we met together with him and dr lam's office he said we should ask him childless and doctor and we ask him shyness but it's a different style of suck difference i remember at that time dr lam was then trying to convince me i should take off i should take off for half a year to get shimmers so i told them i told my i wasn't interested it's a different style of sock i i have a different style from ab salvation not his style very different style of sound is pharma beautiful it's very pleasant talking to him and learning but we we don't always come to the same house corner his memory was his ability to draw was extraordinary i'm sure that was amazing to be exposed to rebbe's rebbe is close with i know rebbe more appreciates her amar as the russian nation when he was the original ezion how does what does rebbe appreciate so much more about about remar style a very friendly person is very respectful to other people who's always very kind i was on the comp territory my son rabbi shai who's going to have what they call a yakical it was around thanksgiving season of the year this season is going to have the akhikale for balabatam who are coming from america so someone contacted my son that a grandson we would make him very happy if we would come to the wedding so he said fine so the before the whole yakikawa began we were there a day early so before it all began we both went to the wedding he was so thrilled that i came he insisted i have to sit next to him he's pouring me one cup of wine then another couple months and another guy i because i had more than i because i kept on pouring i had to go that i had not admired yet so i had to go dog myers after i died myra came back and the other people were saying that he chased the other people away i have to sit right next to him it was that's when that's when mr trump was elected president after the election four years ago and trump was elected president so they he tells me that they want him as the chief ability to send a congratulations to mr trump trump that he was elected as the president but he heard that his daughter married his gracious daughter married a jewish person how can he say mazel tov to if there's an intermarriage you heard that there was a conversion was it a valid commission who said as it happens i was part of the besan he was so relieved oh it is really an orthodox conversion he's going to send a model though good we think of when we think of why you we think of of of the leadership of the past of the godel we think of the rav but there are obviously many others european rabonum russia yeshiva among them rav david lipschitz the suvaker what was what was there of david like what was the impact or impression he left on the yeshiva and on rebbe he dressed the same way he dressed in europe and he spoke year dish all the time he was he was the same as he was in europe he wasn't going to change when the boys didn't understand yiddish they had to give the sheer in iris he didn't speak everything he gave the shiva neighbors everybody loved rap david live shits everybody loved him abdullah has been always asking what are you learning from whatever he would tell you what the raj boss says he'll always tell you something i remember on one occasion he asked me what am i learning so i figured this time i'm going to fix his wagon so i said i'm learning eric and duff whatever he gave me on the spot on that death he knew all over he knew kochimi knew everything he was very very he was in the shadow of rabbi salvatric all he is not for episode of he would have been a bigger star he was a star he had a tremendous influence on everybody i was never in his sheer but uh i always spoke them in the basement everybody spoke to him it's like everybody's grandfather he liked everybody who was some of the other other europeans and what was the connection through them to that other world into the godolm of that other world robert garelick was was always telling other things from abdullah salah he learned over in europe he was one of the lucky people double had i think 11 seats on his on his dining room table so he accepted eleventh i'll need him he said they had a quota rodney said so many amir said someone in islam had a number of students came from ichijiv so he was one of the lucky people who learned parabama he would always tell us i remember the debater about rabdavilla more so than negemara that he thought i learned sanhedrin the year i was in his he had a big influence on a lot of students a big influence a lot of things that he he said over beautifully he was really slobodki he represented slobodki it's a different world yeah yeah sure what hashem after what does rebbe hope that that will take from rebbe what does rebbe hope rebbe's legacy will be for his talmudim if what we remember in addition of course the safari and the torah and the and the shailess and chuvas but in terms of a legacy of life a legacy of learning a legacy of ashkafa what would rebbe hope that if if this interview were being done with one of rebbie's talmidim and many many years from now and they were asked what was it like to be in reshechter sheer to be in rav shakhtar's circle what does rebbe hope that that we're taking from rebbe's legacy i have the impression that in every generation we have an obligation to transmit the turret to the next generation i think that's the mitzvah period verification and the jew would be became the mitzvah even if his children were not jewish but after matantora the whole nature of the mids were changed it's no longer a military it's to populate the globe the mitzvah only applies to beneath soil and the nature of the mid-swear is the only earth in the mid so if you have jewish children that's how the magu mishna learns in the rambam in the midfield and if you have children you don't transmit territory you're also not yotif and the gemara would appear around the earth if he transmits turret to the children and all the posts can say if a person says and many others say and evidence on the first page they say if a couple is unable to have their own children so they should adopt the child and they should teach turret to the other they should support yeshivas said they support march the kimberley said the whole mitzvah period you have the mutton there is to transmit tori and yudhisthira to the next generation every generation people think differently they dress differently everything is a little bit different but there has to be a hampshire you have to have a continuation so i think i'm doing not a bad job of transmitting a lot of things that i heard from ira being and i hope that my students will also do the same they should succeed in transmitting everything in yiddish kite that they picked up to the next generation how does rebbe see the the talmidim of today is different than than when rebbe was younger what's it like to be in yeshiva the dara khalimud the challenges that tommy didn't have does ruby feel things are easier or harder are they are they similar or are they very different than they used to be the challenges are greater but i think there's more learning going on now and not times we didn't have somebodies for him not so available even the base matters didn't have some in this form now there are 25 sets of mishna brewer and 20 sets of every table has shots on it yeah the most foreign i think there's more learning now than in my time for sure more learning now much farther more learning and more distraction more technology what is the action yeah yes it's also harder just going back we we mentioned several of the of the chief rabbis that rebbe was privileged to have relationships with um included among them was chief rabbi shapiro and and the time that was spent there whatever these impressions of stories that are shapiro share with with ready recollections of his exposure to his good old like and others he told all the different stories he told over [Music] remember when he was a chief rabbi he said he visited the ou because uh he's in charge of the kashus and eric israel so he came he's very surprised that the system that we have here it's much better than his system [Music] and i remember once he was upset why i wrote i wrote the different pisces for the oh you said one of them i quoted them was dying that's in a certain sense that's in competition with the aj so i quoted dying weiss wrote so many volumes of jewish men say quoted something if you have toots so he was upsetting me why'd you have to quote diane weiss that was the sakura kubo in europe i don't have to quote dying wise that was absurd whatever the tooth started he would i remember on one occasion he was giving a shirt in the old base madrish the rabbi soloveitchik was already very old and he came in late in the middle of this year whereby was short so he ran over to ram celebrate cheek and he kissed him he kissed his hand and then he went back to the podium to speak say he said in irid he said says uh people in the basement but he allowed a kiss to save him he said he's the safe attire we permitted to kiss him that was very moving he used to speak so quickly when i remember the few times that i visited him and eric so he would speak so quickly so in order to slow him down i would switch to yiddish then it was vikkiris quickly then we switched to evit and kept on switching back forth to slow him down a little bit his his style his speech was so quick he was very sharp he was very shocked himself right he was one of the earlier tambien yeah but i don't i don't know if herbaram was by him i don't know what does rubbish shapiro tell tell rubby about moving territorial i know rebbe reby every time ravi speaks about every artist it's a stronghold he gets emotional it's visible it's obvious and it must be hard to not be inherited strong did rav shapira any of the others that are destroyed give you a hard time about that not moving there you mentioned what rabbi neuberger said about not leaving yu what about moving to israel i remember one occasion um he had someone called me up he wants me to visit him i should come with my wife my children so the the shamas came he picked us up he made up a date at the time that we came and he was giving us all brachas he says he's a coin and he can get brock as a gay broker to everybody and then he starts giving me a sales pitch for 25 minutes why i should come there it's israel they need people like me he said for many years they had rabonum would retire from europe and they would come territory so so the badats had an abundance of mara but they didn't have people who knew how to say a good knockout shia so he says when when shemo salant was getting old then he wanted an assistant rabbit to take over well he'll have to retire so they were suggesting different people the end of the story was that the haderus came they picked the anders but he said at that time the story goes that rav soloveitchik recommended that they should take rabitsa panavision why because he said they have enough well to be tied up on him can pass out they need someone who knows how to say that was uh was the biggest palmer radish of the generation so rabbi ram said he read quite a few of my debate and he enjoyed them very much and he was telling me he wrote this about this and he quoted absolutely about that and he quoted the raga java about this not stop he he read them and he remembered them he said we need people like you and ourselves to give a shirt and then he says i have money i have access to money if you want i can make you your own yeshiva your own kylo if you want i can get you a job in an existing issue will go we need people like you around 25 minutes a whole conversation then at the end of the whole uh sales pitcher he asked me by the way in addition to giving issue nyu what else do you do so i said at that time he used to give a weekly share and rabbi looks thing sure he used to be a weekly ship so he says how many people attend the ship so i said 25 10 25 35 people every week what else that i used to give a week at that time i gave a weekly share in queens i still did that weekly shift on zoom now okay but it's for the group in queens how many people attend that more and then he says and then once a month i gave his shiva in this place once a month over here in new jersey and this and that so he adds it all up in his mind he says if that's the case he takes it back he says if you're having so much influence in america that you give us your merry weekend every month that's such a big crowd maybe you should belong you belong in america the obligation to live in arizona is if that's our malcolm but if your malcolm is in america so you belong in america so that's why because of him i don't feel so guilty uh staying in america all these years maybe it is my markham i'm welcome to be my rich story in america and because of rabbi i don't feel so guilty so it's it's passed forward to help us hopefully it's a my makham too even though for for us um and on that visitor it's charlotte was it the first visit was barrow salvation mentioned uh stopping at uh yeah sure we visited our bell salvage again what was that visit like anything memorable from that oh that is very memorable my wife will tell you all about that uh said you were supposed to come and learn by me what happened after learning by absolutely chick for nine years rabbi guerrero finally convinced me i should go learn barrel salvation other people were telling me people who knew red barrel celebration knew me they thought i wouldn't be happy i wouldn't like it but robbie gorilla convinced me so that summer before i went there it's israel i already had my passport stamped toshiba roy temporary visitor because i was going to be in arizona for a year but i hadn't yet bought the the plane ticket to leave so that summer i met my wife and we got engaged we got married and i never went there so yes you were supposed to come and learn by me what happened how come you didn't come so i said i met my wife and i got married so he said so what more than half the people are learned by him i'm married i can come and i'm married so i said well i have an obligation i have to make a pronounce after support my wife so he says i have a parnosa for you so he tells me this story that when his father abdullah was a teenager so the father didn't send them to university although they never went to university so people asked raphael how is he going to make a living he he doesn't speak polish he can't be a shoemaker so he says but tanishwan can he won't be a shoemaker so he says it can't be a tailor so it won't become a tailor he can it can't run a store he doesn't speak he can't he how's it going to make a living so he says raphael said to them with uh he says he can become a poor man that's the pandas he said have a partnership for you you can become a poor man come and learn by me and you'll become an older man so my wife said to him on the spot who's going to bring the money from america if my husband's going to become an armand so he saw that she's a clever girl so he saw my wife had that was right after tishb there's a day after tishima so he realized that she had a sore throat because she wasn't talking clearly so he said did you see a doctor so she said he he or she has a sore throat so she said no because there was a shabbos that year tishbo was on shabbos it was their shabbos and then it was shabbos then it was tish above so she figured into five days it will get better by itself so he tells her dain fast in his niche again and come faster you shouldn't defest it you should have eaten on tisha bubba if you're sick you should have eaten so she says i didn't ask you she says i asked my husband i didn't ask you the show what do you what do you want so from that point on he stopped talking to me he the whole conversation was with her he was uh he was a colorful character i remember he said he can't give me any fruit to eat we'll be sitting in his home he can't give me anything to eat because everybody has a deen obama auras and i'm already so so if he's going to give me fruits uh i can't i'm not allowed to trust him and have russia's chromosomation so he's going to give me a drink of a beer beer it was a beer company it shows me on the bottle it says totser truczlart it's made from oats or whatever grain they grew in england i think so that doesn't need uh they don't need any namanese enough hashes from some isis so it's sarah the next day we went to abduv cheek he gave me grape steve i was relying on his he assumed that he's that's why it says the horse it writes the whole system up the whole system collapsed so we revert back to the qradin if a person is a religious jew you trust them yeah amazing i learned in cambrian for two years and my first year was the last year of rokhaniak of that he was at the ishiva itself but i believe rebbe went several times and rebbe has a relationship with kambi avenue still out of yamaza but had a relationship with goldberg himself what what were some impressions with goldberg as the talmud of the khasanesh sure he was always interested in hearing han hogas from rob solobachchik so i remember he when i would visit he said tell me somehow this i would tell him he said yeah daddy knows him robbie he did the same tommy zamanujan august he he he had someone pay a fortune of money to make a xerox copy of all of my notes from the shurim he wanted to hear what rhapsody said on the gemara he was very strong and jewish he was he was a fantastic darshan yeah and he would tell all the stories he felt guilty he said when he was offered the position um to be the russian and kami abner so he consulted rabdalbala so he said he was offered a position by the mizrahi so rabbal said what to be uh rabbanus so he says erger worse so he said what's worse adayanas so he says erga worth like what can be what are you siva so he said yeah russian the name is so so rabbi goldberg said if they want if they want terrorism islam we should give him terror they say who says just because who says you should give to her no he's not convinced he's not given his blessings was more uh down to earth he was more of a mirabias so he said that was right at the end of his life so he said you take the position and you come back in a half a year and we'll discuss it and we'll decide whether you should continue in the half a year he passed away the hazard passed away so he never went back to get the approval of the ghanaiah all of his life he felt a little guilty now beverly never gave his birth things gave his blessings on the condition that he comes back in half a year so maybe he's doing the wrong thing he never came back but uh everybody knows that he did a beautiful job and he set up a beautiful yoshi yeah i think there were several yeshua's necessarily that really tried hard to recruit rebbe to come i know rav goldwyck was also a big admirer of rebbe and i wanted