It's Just a Test | Rabbi Menachem Feifer

Rav Meilech Biderman tells a story of a Chosid, who had a tremendous כעס, tremendous temper, could not control himself. When he got angry, he would lose it, and it caused him such terrible problems at home, with his wife and children, in school, with his boss, with his workers, with his friends. He just couldn't get grips on his temper. When someone did something that chepped him, he just got angry and lost himself. He finally decided to go to his Rebbe and talk over his problem and ask, Maybe you could tell me an עצה, how does one overcome and control his כעס? He walks into his Rebbe’s room and he tells the Rebbe the problem. And the Rebbe says to him: This is not simple. It's not a Pashute thing to solve in one moment. Give me some time to think. Sit down in the Beis Medrash. I'll call you in, in a little while, if an idea comes to my mind. The fellow sits down, takes out a Sefer and starts learning. Meanwhile, the Rebbe opens his door and motions to the Gabai: Come into the room for a minute. He says to the Gabai, You see the fellow sitting at the front of the Beis Medrash? Do me a favor. Go over to him and get him angry. The Gabai says: What do you mean? Get him angry, cheppa him, do something to him that he should get upset. Rebbe, are you allowed to do that? It's לתועלת. It's for his benefit. Do it. Okay. He went into the coffee room, made himself a nice, piping-hot cup of coffee, and he walks over to the fellow in the front of the Beis Medrash, and he says: Oh, Shalom Aleichem. You look new here. Can I offer you a cup... Oy vey, I'm so sorry. Oh, I got you wet with the coffee, oy. Let me help you. And he knocks off his hat. Then he bangs his glasses off. Then he pushes him off his chair. He's on the floor. He steps on him. He breaks his glasses. And the whole time, the man is standing there, and he's saying: Oh, it's okay, it's okay. Don't be upset. It’s fine, it’s fine. I know you didn't mean it. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. The Gabai gave up. He couldn't get the guy angry. He walked away. The Rebbe opens up the door and he calls the Yid over. He says: Come here for a minute. He says: You're telling me that you have a problem with כעס? I just watched the Gabai spill coffee on you, knock off your hat, break your glasses, tear your pants, knocked you onto the floor, and you didn't say anything. You didn't react. No anger. You have a problem with כעס? I wish I had your problem of כעס. The fellow says: Rebbe, you know, usually I have full respect for you, but this time, you didn't do such a good job. The Rebbe says: What do you mean? He says: Rebbe, when you told the fellow to get me angry, the door was open a crack. I heard you giving him instructions to get me angry, so, of course, I didn't get angry. I knew you were just trying to test me. Wait a minute, says the Rebbe. So you mean when you know you're being tested you have no problem controlling your anger? He says: Yeah. When you know, so of course you can control yourself. Okay, you know what? I'm telling you a piece of information for life. Anytime someone stands there and does something that cheppas you, it's the Ribono shel Olam testing you. Every time you have a Nisayon, it's HaKadosh Baruch Hu testing you. It's just a test. Now you know. Be מתגבר.