Knowing Yourself | Rabbi Shlomo Farhi

Just the other day, I had a Simcha that I was officiating at. I invited a certain fellow up to make a בורא פרי הגפן, and he whispered in my ear, Rabbi, I'm not allowed to drink any wine. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I said: I'm so sorry. You see, this man he was an alcoholic, and he'd spent so much time to be able to get sober, to stop drinking, to conquer his addiction. By him, even the slightest amount of alcohol would get him right back off the wagon, would take away all the hard work that he'd done, and he'd find himself once again captured and in the throes of this problem of his addiction. It doesn't matter if it's 10% or 3.5% Moscato, for him, wine was a no-no. You see, wine in his eyes and in my eyes, and perhaps in your eyes, are two completely different things. For me and for you, that thing is just what we make Kiddush on, what we have at the Shabbat table, but for him, it was a terrible thing. Something which could ruin his life and the life of his entire family. You see, there are certain people that are predisposed, they have a harder time with something. It takes a person knowing themselves to know how high the bar they have to set, and how far of a distance they need to keep from that challenge in order to make sure that they are safe. My friends, I'm not here and Vayimaen is not here to tell you exactly what that line should be, but it is very important for a person to know themselves. Imagine being able to say to yourself, Rabbi, I can't go down that street. Rabbi, I can't have that phone. Rabbi, I can't go online without a filter. He whispered it to me, but he wasn't embarrassed. In fact, he was proud of all the work he was doing in order to be able to keep himself and his family safe and happy for years to come. Like I always think to myself, If him, why not us?